Worst case scenarios ran through his mind.

It was one thing when it was him.

Not her.

Never her.

It was like everything became clear in that moment and it made it all the more tragic. He'd been separated from Alex again and all he could do was think about her...think about how he'd trade his life for hers...how he'd do anything for her...how-

"Alex is strong, but she won't survive Cadmus...not what they have planned for her…"

J'onn looked up to see Jeremiah standing there at the observation window, he got to his feet and moved closer. "So...do something!" His hands curled into fists and his anger furled inside of him. "Act!"

"She's made her choice!"

"You didn't give her much of one!" He wanted to beat on the window and break himself out of the cell, but that wasn't an option. He was human in there. "If I could show you...remind you...of how much you loved Alex-"

"You don't think I remember?!"

J'onn just stared at him. "I can't see any other reason why you would sentence your daughter to death by Cadmus…"

"They'll keep her around, but you'll never see her again," Jeremiah spat. "And soon, she'll be even out of my reach."

"How can you let them experiment on her?! Hurt her?! You're her father!" he shouted, even though he didn't think he could reach the Jeremiah Danvers that might no longer exist.

"And what are you to her?!" Jeremiah yelled back. "Her boss? A surrogate father? Something else? Do you even know?!"

"I've kept my vow to you for over a decade, Jeremiah Danvers," J'onn told him deadly serious. "I've kept an eye on both of those girls...your wife…"

"But especially Alex?"

"She needed it more," he admitted. "She still does. I kept her safe through all of these years… I showed her the path when she strayed from it. I built her up when you weren't there to do it. I protected her...protected them both for as long as I could…" J'onn said and he started to get teary eyed. It had been so hard for him to allow things to change. To allow Kara to be Supergirl...for Alex to encourage it...and for the mission of the DEO to change…and to allow himself to love them.

"I can't stop what's already been started…"

"At least give her an advantage! Please! I'll do anything-"

"You already have no choice!"

J'onn didn't know what to say to that. That was true, but he couldn't just give up. He couldn't think of Alex being in Cadmus, being where he couldn't protect her. "You said that she'll be out of your reach soon, please...at least let me see her one more time…"

"Why?"

"You know why…"

Jeremiah almost seemed amused in that moment. "But I want to hear you say it."

Once Jeremiah was gone, J'onn was certain that he'd lost every chance to convince him to free Alex let alone the possibility of seeing her again...just one last time. That's all he had wanted. To apologize for failing her, to try to convince her that she would be okay (though he wasn't sure how he could honestly do that). Honestly, he really wanted to just hold her.

When the door opened and Alex stumbled in, for a split second he swore he was hallucinating. Then he saw Jeremiah behind her. "You have two minutes," Jeremiah said.

He held onto Alex and waited for her to look up at him. J'onn didn't like the way that she was holding herself. There was something wrong. Everything inside of Cadmus was wrong, though. "Alex?"

When she finally looked up at him, his heart fell.

"What happened?" he whispered, thick with concern, as he cupped her face between his hands.

"I fell." When he just stared at her, she blinked at him and tears fell. Her face was all battered and bruised and though she seemed to be telling the truth, he didn't know what to think past the fact that he didn't like it. "I really did… I was trying to get past them when they came to take me…"

This was it.

Really it.

The final time he'd get to relay any comfort to her.

J'onn wrapped her in his arms and sucked in a deep breath, stilling his own emotions. Right now, he couldn't make this any worse for her. "I'm sorry, Alex," he whispered. "I promised you I'd get you home to Kara...and it doesn't seem like I'll be able to do that now…"

"It's my fault…" she whispered, her voice breaking before a sharp hitch of breath shuddered her entire being. "You revealed yourself in the first place because you were saving me-"

He yanked her back quickly, his hands tight on her upper arms as he stared right at her. "And I would do it again in a heartbeat," he told her fiercely. He didn't regret that. That was the last thing in life he regretted. "I would have rather died myself than lose you, Alex." J'onn could see that Jeremiah was antsy behind them. Their time was about to be up, he knew that. Pressing a kiss to her forehead, he held her as tightly as he thought she could bear. He wanted to bottle that moment. He wanted it to last forever.

"It's time…" Jeremiah spoke up.

"Please...don't do this," Alex cried as Jeremiah pulled her away. She yanked her wrist away from him and J'onn couldn't help but feel the same. She was making his heart break even more. "Let me stay…"

"Do you want out of Cadmus or not?!"

It was like the world halted.

"Go!" J'onn told her as he practically pushed her into Jeremiah's arms. This had been unexpected, but he wasn't going to not take full advantage of this moment. He just had to believe that there was a tiny piece of Jeremiah that was still Alex's father, that this was real. He had to have that small shred of hope...for her.

"Not without you!" Alex fought.

"Alex! I need you to go! This one time, please just do what I ask!"

She moved back towards him and it broke his heart all the more. She needed to go. J'onn knew that he needed to make Alex go. Her stubbornness had no match and Jeremiah likely needed her to be conscious to get her out of Cadmus. Tears were streaming down her face, though, and her voice was so full of sadness. "No! I'm not leaving you here…"

"I love you," he whispered as he cupped her face again, tears sliding down his cheeks.

"I love you," Alex whispered back.

He smiled at that and kissed her forehead before looking at her again. J'onn knew that he had to say what he needed and he needed her to know that she had to leave...because it was what he wanted. His choice. "No...I love you," J'onn repeated. Cadmus and Jeremiah had made him realize just how far down those feelings went for Alex. These were the worst circumstances to confess his love, but they were likely the last ones. "I care about you...a lot more than I'm supposed to…"

The realization hit her, her eyes went wide and her mouth dropped open. He wished that he had more time with her, but they didn't have it. "J'onn…"

How she said his name nearly broke him. "Go," he whispered and he walked her back to Jeremiah. "I need to know that you're safe...out of this place…"

Jeremiah shut the door now and was dragging her away.

He watched as she dragged a hand along the observation window. "I want you to know I'm never giving up!" Alex shouted, obviously making sure she could be heard. He pressed his hand against hers, even as it moved. "Wherever you are, whatever they do to you...I will find you!"

And then she was gone.

Watching her go, knowing that she was no longer in Cadmus, it somehow made everything that came next easier…

The pain.

The torture.

His screams filled rooms and hallways, but he didn't care.

J'onn's only thought was of Alex...safe and away from the horror of Cadmus.

He could remember the feel of her in his arms and he clung to that as the pain continued. The sound of her voice in his ears as he closed his eyes and just thought of her. There was nothing that they could do to take Alex away from him now.

TBC…