Three Years Before…

His recruitment of Alex Danvers hadn't gone as he'd planned. Agent Adler hadn't been necessary as he'd had to go and bail her out of jail (of course that was after she'd agree to join them). That out of control, angry, and even confused young woman wasn't just born...that was how she'd been taught to be since the death of her father. Certain events had occurred which had pushed Alex to that point. Now, though, he was determined to put her back on the right path (the path that her father would have wanted her on).

He watched as she looked around the DEO with endless wonder.

The other agents assembled beside him and he knew that Alex's coming in right on Benanti's heels was going to be the best thing. Each agent that was added to the DEO changed each other...for the better. He'd guaranteed that by how specifically he chose each agent. His ability to read people's minds came in handy, but the people they were at the core was even more than he'd expected. That was the true brilliance of them all...they strengthened and furthered even the person he could see deep down inside each of them.

"Don't worry...the splendor of it will wear off in a couple of weeks," Adler said monotonically.

"Or...not," Benanti interrupted with clearly another point of view. "This place is practically like the Warehouse…"

Adler ignored her. "Shall we give her the grand tour, Boss?"

"I thought that was what I was doing?" J'onn questioned. "But perhaps introductions are in order? Not that this is everyone."

"But we're your favorites," Benanti spoke brightly and bounced a bit.

Favorites.

"I don't have favorites," he lied quite convincingly. J'onn motioned to each one of them in turn. "Harewood. Torres. Vasquez. Adler. Benanti." Then he turned and motioned to their newest recruit. "Alex Danvers."

"As in Alexandra? Alexandria?" Benanti questioned.

"Alex," he and Alex said in unison before looking at each other.

"Alex…"

This time, it wasn't Jeremiah who was whispering her name, he realized as he snapped to consciousness. No, it was him. He'd passed out at some point. J'onn couldn't even remember what they'd been doing that had forced him to pass out. They were trying to get information out of him, he knew, even though they insisted that that wasn't actually their goal...that it was for science.

"Jeremiah?" he whispered as his head swung to the side.

The sight of Jeremiah Danvers still wasn't exactly what he'd expected. Whatever they'd done to Jeremiah to bring him back all those years ago in Peru, they'd made him part machine and now that some of the flesh had been removed, he looked like something out of a science fiction movie. J'onn had no idea if the man actually knew what he was deep down, what they'd done to him.

"I'm still here," Jeremiah told him. "And Alex...she's safe."

It was the only thing that brought him peace and eased the pain.

Two Years Before…

"You're ready," J'onn told her as he found himself pinned against one of the walls of the DEO. He and Alex had been training...sparring. His whole point of training her...or any of his agents...was to train them to the point where he felt comfortable sending them out into the field against superpowered aliens and them coming back alive. With Alex, he felt like she had to be even better.

Favorites.

Yes, he definitely had them.

Alex was a favorite.

She reminded him of Jeremiah and there were days where that very thought almost slipped out. Preparing Alex for battle in the field was one thing, but he knew that it was important for her to also be in the lab. Alex had a brilliant mind and science was so important in her life (also another connection to her father). J'onn knew that Alex was getting anxious to get out in the field and in general...leave the facility.

"There's a mission-"

"I'm in."

"Talk to me?"

"Better to rest," J'onn told him sympathetically.

"You should have gone with her…"

"I couldn't-"

"I should have made it possible."

As they both just were there, still strapped in place, all J'onn could think about was Alex and the look on her face as Jeremiah dragged her away for the last time. He closed his eyes and sucked in a breath. She was safe now. She would have gone to Kara. The DEO would have helped her, there was a reason why he'd 'suggested' to Harper that Lucy Lane be the new director of the DEO. That's who his agents needed to be in charge now, someone who could be influenced by not only Kara...but by all of his agents.

"I hope she's alive out there…"

Jeremiah's last comment confused him. They knew Alex was out there, alive and safe. Why would he say it like that? Of course, it was clear that Jeremiah wasn't completely there. He was almost like Jekyll and Hyde. So far as they'd been confined together, though, he'd seemed like Jeremiah the father. "She's out there...she's alive...she's safe...you said-"

"She has to have the meds."

J'onn felt sick suddenly. "Jeremiah...what are you talking about? Why would she need-"

"They had her on a steady dosage of something," Jeremiah pointed out. "In my experience...they only put someone on them in order to keep them from dying or to reject whatever had been done to them...which later results in dying."

Alex.

"What did they do to her?"

"When they put someone in that teal color, it means that they're more important than any other asset in this complex," Jeremiah prattled on. He almost sounded drunk. "They'll do anything and everything to bring Alex back to Cadmus. It won't matter if she's dead or alive. They can learn even more if she's dead-"

"She's not going to die!" he snapped. J'onn pulled against the restraints. Anger filled him and all he wanted was answers. He needed the knowledge that Alex was out there...safe and alive. Now all he had was guilt and uncertainty. He couldn't survive with that. He kept pulling on the restraints angrily and started to shout in Jeremiah's direction. "Tell me what they did to her!"

Jeremiah's response, though, was completely quiet and calm. "There are so many possibilities...it's impossible for me to know for certain what they did to her…" His voice changed then, still quiet, but foreboding. "There is one thing for certain...she is not the same Alex Danvers that you fell in love with…"

Every worst case scenario that he could think of pummeled his previous calm state and he couldn't control himself. He fought against the straps that held him down, he screamed, and with every breath of his being...he tried to will his abilities as a Green Martian.

It didn't work.

For all intents, he was human. He didn't know where the emitter was, but he knew that they were throughout the Cadmus facility. If he could just knock out one, he knew that he could have a chance at escaping. It would just take that one moment of a chance.

Alex.

Alex was out there.

She had to still be alive.

He needed to get to her.

He needed to get to her first.

But as he continued to scream, to fight against the shackles as the reality of the state of things within Cadmus and beyond...he found himself being zapped with electricity, to the point where he eventually stilled and blacked out.

Earlier that Year…

He'd revealed himself to her.

His true self.

J'onn J'onzz.

It had been so hard to keep the truth of his existence and his reason for protecting her so fiercely. There was some freedom in the truth. To her credit, Alex Danvers hadn't balked at his oversized green alien appearance (and he would have known because of his telepathy), instead she was simply in awe and curious. It had been a relief and so delightful to listen to all the questions that she had.

The one question that he was glad that she didn't push was about her father's death. He had felt like he'd told her what she needed to know in that moment, but the entire truth...the entire story...he didn't think she was ready to hear it...and he wasn't ready to tell it. That day had been such a dark time...for him and for Alex and the rest of the Danvers family.

"Can I ask you a question?"

He turned to see that she'd let herself into his office, though he'd sensed her long before she'd even touched the glass door that led into his office sanctuary. J'onn gave her a silent nod.

"You recruited me-"

"You know why I recruited you...we've been over this," he told her gently. "That's not the real question you want to ask though."

It took her a moment. Her hands were on her hips, her hair had slid down and was nearly covering her face completely as she looked away from him. She was collecting her thoughts, thinking over the question he already knew was lingering in her mind. Finally, she looked back up at him. "You said when you recruited me...when you were training me...that I had to be able to beat you," Alex said slowly. He knew that she was going over that moment in her head. "Did you go easy on me?"

J'onn smiled in response. It was almost amusement. "No."

"No?"

"Never."

TBC…