"You know, Harewood has quite the collection of books, Sir," Adler said as she handed him a cup of coffee and donut. "I'm sure he'd be happy to bring you some...keep you occupied while you're forced to stay on base."

J'onn smiled and took the offerings. He'd been keeping to himself for the most part. He couldn't really do anything with missions unless it was sitting with Vasquez and overseeing things from the control area, which Lucy had told him he was more than welcome to do. He just hadn't wanted to overstep bounds. He also had felt like he needed the time to think. The thing with that was that whenever he found a place to think...Benanti always showed up and was worried that he was getting depressed or had cabin fever or something. She was sweet, but there really was no need to be so concerned about his mental health...especially since all he needed was the chance to actually think.

"I'll keep that in mind," J'onn told her. "Thank you."

"Danvers is going to be okay, right? I mean, things look pretty grim when her mom shows up…"

No one had been in to see Alex, mainly because the doctors wanted her to rest. So, it had been limited to the medical staff, Lucy, her mother, Kara, and then him. "She just needs rest…"

"I have a feeling that Danvers hates that," Adler commented.

"Perhaps she should be the one that you should think about occupying…"

"This'll be Lara's new mission…"

"She is aware that morale officer is not an official DEO position, doesn't she?"

Adler just eyed him. "Are you really going to be the one to tell her that?"

Silence.

"No," J'onn said suddenly and then took a sip of his coffee. "I value my life."

"Me too."

Silence.

Adler suddenly looked at him curiously. "Don't you have super strength?"

"I value my life."

"Wise."

"You know, if you keep hiding-"

"I'm not hiding," he said quietly and evenly. J'onn looked over to see her smiling that bright smile. Kara was like the sun. No matter who you were, there was no way that you could argue that. Kara was just this bright ball of happiness and it was contagious. He found himself smiling, just a little in response.

Kara sat next to him. "You haven't talked to her all day… I know this because today is one of the extremely rare days where there's no scheduled work...and Cat has also not called me about something. I've been sitting with her, trying to keep her from going crazy-"

"How is she?"

"Bored. Tired of being here," Kara told him honestly. "And she's worried that you're upset with her…"

J'onn just stared at Kara for a moment, taking that in. "I-"

"I don't think you're upset with her, but you have been distancing yourself," Kara said. They were both quiet. J'onn was fairly sure they needed it. "Alex said that you've pretty much separated yourself from the decision-"

"It's not mine to make," J'onn pointed out evenly.

Kara sighed. "It's not mine either, but I have an opinion on it."

"Alex has always put others before herself…"

"It's one of her greatest flaws...but also a strength," Kara reminded softly. "She wants to hear what everyone has to say, then after it all...she's going to make her own decision. Alex can do that."

"With this, it's not the same…"'

"Why?"

"Alex's life is in danger."

"She's stable. Right now, the doctors are saying that everything is stable and if she continues like this that she should be fine to be released in a few days...not that she can exactly go home yet," Kara pointed out.

"I need to talk to Lucy about that-"

"How about you stop avoiding my sister and I'll talk to Lucy?"

They stared at each other in silence.

"It's a child, Kara," he whispered. "And it's Alex's life."

Sure, it was Alex's choice, but he didn't feel like he could be apart of it. He had a bias and yet he had a past that was telling him that he wasn't worthy of this child. He was the last Green Martian and even if Alex chose to go forward with the pregnancy, the child would be only half Green Martian...it wouldn't be continuing the race in the traditional sense...not that that any of that mattered to him. His family kept flashing behind his eyes. He thought about what the White Martians had done to his family...to his world...what the one they had locked up had wanted to do to him… If this child was brought into the world, would it be just as much of a target?

There was so much that went through his head when it came to this choice that wasn't his to make. Then there was the fact that he loved Alex...and he wasn't sure if he could be part of her life...either way going forward. It didn't seem fair. He'd make her (and the child, if she chose to keep it) a target. The more J'onn thought about it, the more that he felt like he needed to disappear. He knew that he could easily disappear, but at the same time...he knew that Alex and even Kara would fight him on that.

"You have to say something, J'onn, I can't read minds like you," Kara half teased.

He hadn't realized that he'd just gone silent. He was lost in his thoughts. "I have so many thoughts-"

"So talk to me."

As he stared at her, she seemed so young. She was young, he knew that...but perhaps it was her sunny nature that made it seem like she was even more youthful. Kara hadn't been someone that he'd thought about talking to, but they were alike in so many ways...and Kara did already know what was going on. "How long do you have?"

"As long as you need."

So, he talked...and she listened.

"Love, he doesn't-"

"Of course he does!"

He already knew they were coming before he could hear them. J'onn was mentally preparing himself for what was coming.

Adler and Benanti.

"Sir," Benanti said and didn't leave him a chance to say anything. "I was thinking… You and Danvers could-"

"It's being looked into," he said before she could finish.

Lara Benanti just blinked at him for a moment. "You don't know what I was going to say-unless you can…" She stared at him, wide eyed, and then let out a gasp. "You can read minds?"

He couldn't help but smile in response and gave her a nod.

"For how long?"

Adler sighed. "For however long he's been here at the DEO, Love."

"Crap…"

He smiled more at that. "Don't worry, I don't always listen to people's thoughts."

"Are you sure?" she questioned. "Because I suddenly feel like I should apologize for past, present, and future thoughts you might have...been privy to."

"No need-"

"No really...because I was just thinking about how I never thought of you and Danvers together...and then like everyone saw you two kissing yesterday and I'm suddenly shipping you-"

"Oh-kay!" Adler shouted and grabbed both of Benanti's shoulders and started to guide her out of the room. She looked over her shoulder. "Sorry, Sir. Too much coffee…"

"Yeah, like me fangirling is from too much coffee, you keep lying to yourself, Alice," Benanti muttered.

J'onn shook his head as they left. He and Alex both knew that people had witnessed the kiss and it was only a matter of time before that spread through the DEO. He didn't know where his relationship with Alex was going to go...or if they still had one, but he supposed it was nice to know that they were supported by people who cared about them.

Them.

Alex.

His Alex.

"I thought perhaps you'd slipped out-"

"No," he interrupted as he took the seat next to her. J'onn had seen Kara tugging Eliza towards the exit. Though it was suspicious to have Doctor Danvers on base, it wasn't completely out of question for them to use her as a consultant on a variety of matters. Nonetheless, it had given him a clear opening to have some private time with Alex. "Not without you, at least," he added with a small smile.

That seemed to lighten the mood. "Kara said she went and talked to you even though I told her-"

"She's a good sister," J'onn cut off. He didn't want the Danvers sisters upset with each other and especially not over this, over him… Right now, Alex especially needed her sister, no matter what her choice was. "And she's a good friend… Sometimes I forget that there are people in this world that I can confide in...openly…"

"You can always talk to me," she whispered sincerely.

"I know," he said with a nod. "I was just…" J'onn struggled to find the right word. He'd been going through so many feelings that he was having a hard time tacking down the exact one he felt in that moment. "I was scared."

"Good," Alex said almost cheerfully. When his eyes met hers, she continued. "Because I'm scared too." She was quiet for a moment, but he knew there was more coming. "So, we'll be scared together…" She reached out and held her hand out to him and he took it immediately. It was clear to him that she'd already decided. J'onn was fairly sure that she'd decided before and though he knew how stubborn she was...he still felt like he needed to remind her what was at stake.

"I know we haven't talked-"

"That doesn't mean that I don't know what you were thinking."

"I was thinking a lot of things."

"About the baby? I mean, it looks more like a tadpole right now…"

He smiled at that. The air was nervous, but right now, he knew that they just needed to stop and talk. They needed this. There was no one around to interrupt, J'onn had even asked the nurse to keep people from coming in from the time being so that it ensured that they had that time. "About the baby," he said and saying that made it so much more real than it had been. "About you. About me. About our relationship…"

"You know you're wrong," Alex told him confidently. "I know that you don't think that you're worthy of a lot of things… You were wrong when you thought that it was better that the White Martian kill you before...because you felt like it was wrong for you to survive...to live." She sucked in a breath and then huffed it out. "You've been given this second chance, J'onn…"

"I keep thinking of my family on Mars, Alex," he said softly and sadly. "Mairia, K'hym, and T'ania… I think about them and even though I know that they would want me to be happy, I feel like I'm betraying them somehow."

"Because you're happy? Or because a baby means a family...because you already had...have one of those… You have me and Kara and all of the agents at the DEO. We're the best kind of family there is because we'd do anything for each other."

"I failed to protect them," J'onn pointed out sadly. He didn't care what she would say because he knew already that she would argue him on it. That was how he felt. That's how he'd felt all these years. It was a crushing sadness and guilt that he carried around. "The White Martians could come to Earth...and as I was sitting and thinking...I worry that this child…"

"Our child."

That was going to take time to get used to. "Our child," he repeated a bit hesitantly. The words felt so foreign in his mouth. "He and she would have a target on it...and so would you…"

"I don't know if you've hit your head out there or what, but have you forgotten that I can take care of myself? At least most of the time… White Martians are not hurting me or our family," Alex told him fiercely. "J'onn, all that matters is that we figure out what we both want." She was quiet and pushed out a breath. "I already decided that I'm going to keep the baby. I'm not ready. My mom said that no one is ready, even if they think they are. She and Kara are more than willing to help. My mom even said that she'd be willing to move to National City...or...that I could go to Midvale."

Even though he'd worried about Alex's safety, he hadn't thought about her moving away or leaving the DEO. Of course, they were still technically fugitives, but he was certain that that would eventually get cleared up. Midvale wasn't far, but it was a surprise to hear her say that.

"Project Cadmus-"

"They're not going to touch me," Alex said firmly.

It was still a worry. The baby was what made Alex so valuable to them. If she carried the baby and gave birth to it, then it would be the first human/Green Martian hybrid that he knew of and likely that anyone on Earth had seen. He didn't know that he was ready to be a father again, but he knew that he'd protect Alex and the child with every breath and heartbeat in his body.

"You'd go to Midvale?" he asked after a moment.

"I don't know."

And she was being honest.

"My mom offered and with everything that's been going on, it just seemed like a viable option," Alex explained. "Doctor Hamilton has already told me that the pregnancy could have complications and that I could be damned to bedrest for the entire term...however long this term is since the baby isn't completely human…" Alex sighed. "I just… I like to have options, they're like escape plans for when everything goes to crap…"

He understood that.

Silence.

"So, a baby?"

Alex nodded, there was a small smile, but nothing bright. J'onn knew that she was still warming up to it. Even though she'd decided it, that didn't mean that she was completely certain of her decision. He was still quite sure that she was doing this because of him. J'onn just hoped that it wasn't something that she'd regret later. "A baby."

Silence.

It was like it was sinking in for both of them.

"Stay?"

"I'm not leaving you."

"I'll hold you to that."

TBC…