A Star Trek Fiction
"The shattering of a heart when being broken is the loudest quiet ever."
Break but Shatter
if i tell will you understand me?
They're back on Earth and honestly the warm sun has never felt better on Leonard's skin. He welcomes the fuzzy feeling it brings within his body, but when Jim brushes passed him without so much as a grunt, his mood turns sour.
Jim's been irritable the whole way home and he's still in the dark. Leonard has no idea what's going on, or why they've even come back to Earth, Jim refuses to inform him about the matter.
The blond is crumbling slowly and Bones isn't sure if he should gather the pieces, he's tried so many times to get Jim to tell him, but the Captain is insistent that he stops asking. So when Jim comes to him the next day, fear clearly written across his weary brow, Leonard's astonished when Jim wants to talk.
"Why are we really here?" McCoy asks with his tender southern drawl that brings Jim's undivided attention onto his face.
"It's about my brother." Jim murmurs gently, his head hanging as the sun hides behind the distant plains of Iowa.
Leonard gazes at him, taking in Jim's sorrowful gestures as the blond barely manages to keep his voice from being sucked away into nothingness. The pain building up within Jim's chest is unbearable and Bones longs to wrap an arm around his friend, but he reframes from doing so.
"What happened?" Bones questions, giving the blond's shoulder a light squeeze before letting out a gruff sigh that really serves no purpose but to slightly annoy Jim.
The blue eyes gaze his way and Bones feels his soul being looked into, "Sam's dead…my brother's gone Bones," The Captain tells him almost dully, but it's the only way to block out the emotional pain.
Doctor stares right through him, missing the despair piling up in Jim's mind.
"Is that what's got you so worked up?" He inquires but Jim's eyes water and the blond turns his head away, "No," Jim scoffs after a moment and Bones looks at him curiously.
"Jim, I know you and Sam weren't very close, but still, he's your brother. That should mean something to you." Leonard replies and he wished he hadn't said that because the protective barrier slides up behind Jim's ocean blue eyes.
Bones misread the situation and he wishes he could rewind time and come back so he can fix this, because he understands now, but then, no, he had no idea what was hurting Jim so much.
"Bones you don't understand." Jim tells him sharply, his voice trembling as he gathers to his feet.
Leonard stares after him, "Jim…" He breathes softly, but his best friend is gone, out of reach and is falling to the ground harder than Bones likes to pretend to think.
So here he is, wondering how at the time he had misinterpreted the situation. How did he not realize that Sam's absence in Jim's life wasn't the problem? But now he can only look back and imagine all the ways he could have prevented Jim's ultimate destruction.