Wow, this is greatly overdue. I think I've finally gotten things settled so I can finally finish this story. Thank you for all the kind reviews, and even those that messaged me to continue. I hope this chapter has been worth the wait. Please review and let me know what you think!
M
Queen Helena stopped outside her bedroom door, taking a moment to compose herself before she entered the room. She placed her palms onto the door to steady herself, unsure of what awaited her on the other side. This was a fight she would never be able to win; this was her past coming back to rip her future apart.
"It was too good to be true," she thought. "I should have known I would never be able to escape the sins of my past. It was wishful thinking to think that Simon and I could ever truly be happy."
Taking a deep breath, Helena straightened her shoulders, and entered the room saying a silent prayer as she did so.
Simon stood with his back to her, hand resting on the mantle over the fireplace staring at the family portrait that hung above it. He continued to stare at the faces of his children as he heard his wife approach.
Helena eyed him as she walked closer, waiting on him to acknowledge her, inwardly preparing herself for the battle that was about to take place. She waited momentarily for him to speak, but he appeared oblivious to presence.
Taking a small step forward she clasped her hands together, unsure of what to say. "Simon?" She asked quietly. The King flinched at her voice, but still did not turn around.
"Simon, I'm so very sorry. Please darling, look at me, you have to believe me." Helena pleaded. "I'm so sorry you found out this way. I don't know what I can say that will make this better. I guess there isn't really anything I can say that will make this better. You just need to know those children are yours in everyway that matters. You are their father; you're the only father they've ever known or will ever know." She trailed off, catching her breath. "I'm so sorry, for everything."
Simon remained quite as he absorbed the words she spoke. Finally, he turned to look at her, his face still flush from anger. "Do you really not know if they're mine or not? Just tell me that, Helena. All these years, you've wondered but never bothered to check?"
The Queen, unable to meet her husbands eye, stared at the ground as she shook her head no. "You can't even know how sorry I am. I have prayed so many times that they were. I've watched them, studied them for mannerisms that resemble you, but I've always been to afraid to know the truth. What would happen if they weren't yours? If the paternity came back negative it would be a scandal that we couldn't bear. There are no secrets, Simon. If I had them tested, everyone would know. I couldn't do that to them, Simon, or you."
"Ahh there it is, the real reason. You couldn't do that to yourself, darling. What, you didn't think the people could bear to know that their gorgeous young queen was nothing more than a cheap whore?" Simon spat at her.
Helena's eyes shot up, a fire in them as she spoke, "That's not true. I'm a lot of things, and I've done some awful things, but this is not one of those times. If it ever got out the King's children were being tested for paternity, it wouldn't have mattered if they came back yours or not. They would always be branded the bastard children of King Simon. DNA tests can be fixed, Simon, and all of England would just assume that it had been. I was protecting my children, no matter what you think. I could care less if this whole damn country thinks I'm whore but I refuse to have them think anything less of my children."
Simon ran his hands through his hair, "What a fucking mess. And yet things make so much sense now."
Helena gave him a questioning look, "I don't follow. What makes sense?"
"You, this. I don't know, Helena, I guess it answers why throughout the years when you thought no one was looking, you'd have a fear in your eyes like this was all going to end. Like the bubble would burst and you'd be the poor farm girl you were when I met you." Pointing to the chair in front of the fireplace, Simon directed, "Sit down."
Careful as not to further anger her husband, Helena did as she was told.
"Robert was enough for you, remember? God, you never wanted anymore children and then you got pregnant; I was ecstatic of course, I always wanted a palace full. And then we found out you were having twins. The day we found out, I was over the moon happy; I was getting closer to the big family I had always wanted. But then I looked at you, and I could tell something was wrong. You put on your biggest smile and you pretended everything was alright but I had already seen the flicker of fear and doubt."
Helena remained quite as Simon spoke, unsure of where he was going with this story and too afraid to add fuel to the fire.
Simon paced about in front of her as he continued his tale, "You did finally get excited about the pregnancy. I think about the time you found out you were going to have at least one daughter to spoil, and I thought, "Okay, maybe I imagined it all." But then the day that they were born, even if for only the slightest second, there was the look again. This time I couldn't shake it because I knew I didn't imagine it. You were scared and I wanted to know why."
Taking the chair adjacent to Helena's, Simon placed his forearms on his knees and leaned forward, so that he was almost face to face with Helena. "I kept playing it over in my mind from the time you found out you were pregnant, and then it dawned on me how much I was traveling around that time with the military maneuvers. And I knew what was scaring you; somehow it all clicked. "
Helena's breath caught in her throat. She wanted to speak, to cry, to apologize, but her body was paralyzed as she listened to Simon's recount.
"I have never wanted to hurt someone as badly as I wanted to hurt you that day. I will never forget storming through the palace looking for you; I was going to demand the truth right then and there. But then I found you in the nursery, you were holding Liam, with Robert sitting on your lap as you read him a story; Eleanor was asleep in her crib. As soon as you saw me, you gave me this great big smile then went back to reading. And I just stood there, watching you, completely enamored and thinking how everything I loved was in that very room. No matter what you had done, I still loved you and my children."
"All this time, you knew there was a possibility the twins weren't yours?" Helena asked quietly. "Why didn't you ever say anything?"
Simon gave her a sad smile, "My dear, there are defining moments in every man's life. That was one of them for me, Helena. It wouldn't matter if they hadn't been mine. I held them when they cried, I wiped tears and noses, I worried over them and still worry over them. I have loved them since the very second they became a part of our equation. So I'm going to put your mind at ease for once and all, I am their father, Helena, without a doubt."
A cry escaped her throat as she began to sob tears of joy. She shook her head in confusion, "You're sure? But how?"
"When they were about a year old, I had them tested. I had a dream one night that someone tried to take them from me and I needed to know that no matter what happened, my children would be safe; I needed to make sure. It wouldn't have mattered what the outcome would have been; they were mine. But I thought the best way for me to protect them was to know what I was dealing with. The test just proved what I knew all along, I am their father."
Helena replayed the words Simon had just spoken over and over in her mind. "The test proved what I knew all along, I am their father. She closed her eyes briefly, saying a silent thank you to god. For years she had been too afraid to know the truth and now that she did, she felt relief. The weight she had been carrying around for so long, no longer hung like a yoke around her neck. She opened her eyes to see Simon watching her.
Reaching over, Helena placed a hand on Simon's arm. "Thank you for that. I've prayed since the day they were born that they were yours. And now I know. I'm so very sorry there was ever a question, Simon. If I could redo everything I would." Helena drew her hand back as she attempted to dab the tears away without ruining her eye liner, giving herself time to figure out how to fully convey her deepest feelings. "I love you, Simon, and want with all my heart for things to be good between us. We made some promises last night, one of them being to start over. Please, don't give up on me yet. I've got years' worth of mistakes to make up for and I'm begging you to let me try. Let me show you I can be the kind of wife you deserve."
"Is this the last thing, Helena? I want the truth, right now. We also said total honesty so it's time. If there is any other secret that you're holding onto, whether big or small, it's time to come clean. We can't make this work if we're still keeping secrets. I will not be blind-sided again, like with what just happened with Cyrus." Simon shook his head in disgust as he began to pace the room again, anxious energy no longer allowing him to stay still. "Goddamn it Helena. Cyrus of all people? That's who you chose to confide in?!" Brother or not we have never been close, there has never been any love lost between us. Did you not bother to think that he would one day use this against me, against our children? What if something happened to me? Cyrus is who you really want on the throne?!
"Simon, no, I swear I didn't share any fears that I had with Cyrus. I've never shared it with anyone. I swear on the lives of Liam and Eleanor he didn't hear it from me. He must have guessed, taking a stab in the dark, whatever he could to hurt you. He did catch me once, sneaking back in from a tryst and he's known about several of the affairs." Helena looked down as she said the last part, unable to look Simon in the eye. "He was trying to hurt us both just now, hoping he'd get lucky and you'd throw me out with him. I'm sure he feels like I've betrayed him as well."
"Better him than your family, Helena. At least you picked the right side this time," Simon countered.
Helena slowly got up and went to her husband, stopping only when she was mere inches from him. "Can we move past this? Can you really forgive this last betrayal?"
"Quite frankly, Helena, I've put up with a lot of shit from you through the years. I've overlooked things and pretended it didn't bother me when it really did. But no more, do you understand me? If there is anything else, any other bombshells regarding us, you, our children, you need to tell me right now. I want complete transparency, from both of us. It's the only way this can work."
"No, there's nothing else. You know everything. Every mistake and past transgression you're completely aware of. Some of them, well most of them, I wished you didn't know, but you do. All except the names and details of my "encounters," which I will tell you if you really need to know. I beg that you don't, but if that's what it takes to make this work I'll tell you every detail. Other than that, there is nothing else."
"I don't want the details of my wife with other men, Helena." Then, reaching over and taking her chin in his hand with a little more force than necessary, Simon leaned forward so they were nose to nose. His voice deepened, there was fire in his eyes as he spoke, "But this better be the last surprise because I will not be as forgiving the next time, especially where my children are concerned."
Helena was taken aback at the anger and hurt that were evident in his voice as he spoke and clearly written on his face. But as she looked into his eyes, she saw something else burning in the dark embers of his brown eyes; desire. It was a look she was all to familiar with, from the various men she had slept with, or the ones who had only dreamed of sleeping with her. This time though it was different. This time the look was coming from a man who loved her regardless of knowing everything about her, a man that would have give her the world ten times over if she'd given him the opportunity. Without a second's hesitation Helena kissed him, crushing his mouth with hers and wrapping her arms around his neck.
Caught off guard, Simon placed his hands on her shoulders and briefly pushed her away. Searching her face, he found the look of a woman who needed him as much as he needed her. The longing written clearly across her beautiful features. With the ease of a man half his age, he picked her up and walked her back to the bed. Turning so that he was the one sitting on the bed, he stood her up in front of him.
Helena gave him a questioning glance, but before she could say anything, Simon spoke, "Take off your dress, slowly." He held her gaze until her dress hit the floor, "Now the rest." His eyes wandered up and down her body, taking in every curve.
"God, I am a lucky, lucky man," Simon whispered, lost in the awe of her beauty.
Standing before her husband, Helena had never felt more vulnerable, or more loved. For probably the first time in their 30-year marriage, they had no secrets. He was aware of every fault she had and was still willing to accept her and love her.
Reaching for her, Simon pulled her to him. That would be the last gentle act as her body crashed into his. Buttons flew, as his shirt was ripped away. Her nails dug into his back as she urged him on. It wasn't soft or gentle lovemaking, but the kind of rough, dirty sex they both needed from each other.
Laying in his arms after, her back to his chest, Helena ran her fingers over the top of Simon's knuckles, tracing the bruise that was now forming.
"You didn't have to hit him, Simon." She chided, before adding, "but I am glad that you did."
Simon flexed his hand looking at the damage before he laced his fingers with hers, "He deserved it. I won't allow him to talk to you, or about you like he did. Not as long as you're my wife. And he's damn sure not going to refer to our children as he did. I'm not going to stand for it."
Turning enough so that she could give him a kiss on the cheek, Helena said, "Thank you for defending me."
"I will always defend you, love." Simon answered, "that's what husbands are supposed to do. Now, how about we get some sleep. I'm not nearly as young as I used to be and I'm relatively sure you just tried to kill me."
Helena laughed, "You're not that old, besides I was the one getting man handled. Not that I'm complaining."
As Simon drifted to sleep, he heard his wife whisper, "I love you more than you'll ever really know." And for the first time, he knew she meant it.