The rest of the working day was uneventful, and Myka left a little early for her appointment with Dr Cho. She arrived promptly and the diminutive doctor greeted her with a cup of coffee.

They talked about Myka's weekend, and she shared a little about her dinner with Helena from the night before. (The matter of the dead deputies, she kept to herself.)

"Are you dating Helena, Myka?" Abigail asked curiously.

Myka shrugged.

"I'm not sure, really. But I am attracted to her. She's the first woman I've been attracted to."

"You don't seem to be too concerned about that."

"Not really. The fact that she's a vampire is more of a concern than her being female."

"I guess. And what is it about her being a vampire that is of concern?"

"I suppose the fact that she has a serious past – she has had to kill to survive, and she keeps saying that they are very different from humans. I don't see it, myself. Or certainly not the way she means it, anyway. They prey on us to survive; we prey on animals. We all do what we have to."

"She has killed people – most vampires have, or so I understand. They can't always control themselves at the beginning."

"Yeah. That's how she explained it. The urge to keep draining the human is very hard to resist."

"It's not something we can really understand, I suppose, as humans. We don't need to take life to live."

Myka nodded.

"I guess. But we do anyway. Every piece of meat we eat is part of the life of an animal. Just because we don't do the actual killing ourselves doesn't mean that it didn't happen. We're just divorced from the process. I still eat meat – don't get me wrong – but I just don't see the difference. We're not really any better than the animals around us, we've just adapted better to our environment. And the vampires have adapted a little better still, I guess. Helena keeps saying that they're cruel and evil, but she hasn't shown me much evidence of that."

Abigail cocked her head.

"Interesting. I wonder what she means by that. I guess you'll just have to find out. I suppose I don't need to tell you to be careful?"

Myka laughed.

"Unless I wrap myself in silver, I don't think there's much I could do to defend myself if she wanted to hurt me. But I am as careful as I can be in the circumstances. It's early, anyway. Nothing has really happened. We kissed, but that's it."

Abigail was obviously intrigued, but left the subject there.

"So, we were talking about how things were at home, and we stopped. So why don't you tell me how you got from Colorado to being a Sheriff in Mississippi?"

Myka explained what had happened with Sam and the organised crime gang in Colorado Springs.

"If you don't mind me saying, Myka, you seem a lot calmer, and not as upset as you were on Friday," Abigail commented when she had finished.

"I talked to Helena about some of this stuff, over the weekend. She had some interesting points to make."

Abigail smiled and tilted her head.

"Like?"

"Well. I've been feeling guilty for a long time about Sam's death. I thought that if I'd listened to the gang's thoughts, I could have saved him."

Abigail nodded.

"And now?"

"Helena said a few things that made a lot of sense, I guess. Firstly, she pointed out that the gang members would have had to be thinking about their plans at the exact time when I listened. And then she pointed out that there was a reason I didn't listen to those thoughts or any others. That reason, of course, being my parents abandoning me. So she said that if there was any blame, it would rest with them. Because, given the choice, it's likely that I would have used this ability and not blocked it as I have."

She shrugged slightly, and Abigail nodded thoughtfully.

"She's not thinking about becoming a therapist, your vampire, is she? Because she might put me out of a job."

Myka smiled.

"She certainly has a way with words."

"She does. And the points she makes – they're good ones. Your parents' abandonment is what stopped you from using this ability. You are not responsible for that. And you are not responsible for Sam's death or for any other incident that may or may not have happened, had you used your gift. Because you weren't really given the choice."

Myka nodded. It was hard to accept that she had nothing to feel guilty about when it came to Sam's death. She'd carried it with her for such a long time. But maybe it was time to let that go. She hadn't had a choice; both Helena and Abigail were correct about that. By the time she became a detective she couldn't have used her ability in any useful way even if she'd wanted to. The thoughts she heard were jumbled together to such a degree that it was all just noise. She could usually work out people's emotional state from whatever they projected, but other than that, the only times she'd clearly heard someone's thoughts were on Saturday when she'd touched Pete's hand (and that was probably because she'd ingested vampire blood), and the few times when she had been intimate with someone.

"I think you should start considering what you could do with your gift and how you could make it useful to you and those around you. I don't want you to make any decisions right now. You are fully able to refuse to use it and to continue as you have been doing – it's your ability, no-one else's. Not even Mrs Frederic can make you use it. It's your choice. I just want you to consider the benefits and downsides of a fully working ability to hear other people's thoughts. So consider that your homework," the therapist said with a smile. "We can talk again whenever you need to, but let's say this time next week for now. If you need me, you have my number."

Myka nodded, smiling softly. She made her way home, checking with Leena on the radio that everything was okay at the station. She ate a quiet dinner and was reading on the porch when Helena arrived after sundown.

"Good evening, Sheriff," Helena said, smiling.

"Good evening yourself," Myka replied, gesturing to the empty seat beside her on the porch swing.

Helena joined her and they sat in blissful silence for a while.

"Did you sleep well?" Helena asked solicitously.

"I did, thank you. And thank you for getting me safely to bed, again. What is that, the fourth time now?" Myka asked, smiling.

"I believe so, yes," Helena said gravely, but with her lip quirking a little. "You are a rather sleepy creature, even for a human."

Myka gave her a mock glare.

"And what about you? Are you okay, after our talk last night?" Myka asked.

Helena dropped her gaze to her hands for a moment.

"Yes, I am, thank you. I…appreciate your care of me. Your words meant a great deal to me."

"I'm glad, Helena. I meant them."

Helena smiled at her almost shyly.

Myka jumped up all of a sudden.

"I almost forgot!" she said. "I got you something."

She went into the house and emerged with a bottle of Tru Blood.

"I remembered what you ordered the other night, and I picked a few up while I was out today. A positive, right?"

Helena looked incredibly emotional at this small gesture of Myka's.

"Yes - I…thank you, Myka. I…I'm surprised you managed to find it. It is difficult to source, in this area."

"Well, Pete knew of somewhere in the next town over. I went to see my therapist and I thought it would be nice to have something to offer you while you were here. Do you normally have it warmed up?"

Helena nodded.

"There are directions on the bottle," she pointed out, hesitantly, and Myka smiled and went inside to the microwave. She emerged a few minutes later with the now-warm drink and a cup of herbal tea for herself.

"Thank you, Myka."

"You're welcome, Helena," she murmured, taking a sip of her tea and closing her eyes, just enjoying the quiet as she was becoming her habit when Helena was around.

"I still love her, you know. Even after everything she's done. Even though I know it's not really her."

Myka turned to look at Helena.

"I know," she said, sadly, touching Helena's arm gently.

Helena smiled at her then, a grateful, beautiful smile.

"How are you…? You are so…"

"What?" Myka asked quizzically.

Helena kissed her. It was sudden but it was soft. And her lips, as usual, were cool. Myka kissed her back, sliding one hand around Helena's neck gently. It was pleasant and soft and Myka broke away before it became more than that.

Helena looked at her for a moment, her head tilted, her cheeks pink from the synthetic blood she'd been drinking.

"Should I not have done that?" she asked uncertainly.

Myka smiled softly.

"It's not…I liked it. I like kissing you. But I don't want to push you, Helena. You seem so frightened that you'll hurt me, and even more frightened because I'm not afraid of you. I don't want to frighten you. You're the first person I've really wanted to spend time with for a very long time. I don't want to push you away."

Helena studied her intently.

"You are strange, Myka. Not because of your ability, but because you think so differently. I find it intriguing and I want to leave you alone because I do not want you to be hurt. But I also find myself coming here, night after night, because I cannot stay away. It is…maddening. You are maddening."

Myka smiled at that.

"I can't say that's the best compliment I've ever had, but it's not like I've been getting flooded with them, so I'll take it."

"Now that, I cannot believe. You have had no shortage of admirers in your life, surely?" Helena was looking at her sceptically.

"I have met people. I was with Sam for a while and sometimes I could hear fragments of his thoughts, but one of the best things about him was that nearly everything I heard him think, he said right after. He wasn't one for guile, that's for sure." She trailed off as she realised that it was probably an inappropriate comment to make, given that he had died exactly because of that lack of guile. She was quiet for a moment as she offered a silent apology to Sam, wherever he might be.

"I can't really be with anyone though, long term. The strain becomes too much. Not listening is nearly impossible when you're…intimate. I very rarely hear anything other than just noise but when I'm intimate with someone it's clearer. Historically, what I heard during those times – it wasn't anything I wanted to hear, you know?"

Helena nodded sympathetically.

"I can imagine that would be rather difficult, in the circumstances," she said, in a colossal understatement. Her lips twitched, however, and after a moment both she and Myka were laughing.

"This one guy, I'd been seeing him for about a month, and we were…and I got this little flash of an image - he was fantasising about the pizza delivery guy. I just got up and left. I couldn't even look him in the eye after that," Myka said, half cringing, half laughing.

Helena laughed even harder.

"Your ability has…unfortunate side-effects," she said, eventually.

"I'll say," Myka said, smiling. She got up and went to the fridge to grab a beer. Helena declined another Tru Blood.

When Myka was seated again, Helena moved a little and put her arm around Myka's shoulders, tugging her to pull her close.

"Is that all right?" she asked softly.

"Yeah," Myka said, and she smiled crookedly in response. Helena was not warm, but she was solid and her touch was comforting in a way that Myka seldom felt. Touch usually increased her ability to hear the thoughts of the person she was touching, and while they were rarely coherent, it was still disorienting for her.

"Is it because you cannot hear my thoughts that you are so comfortable with me?" Helena asked suddenly, her fingers tracing obscure designs on Myka's upper arm.

"Yes, or it was initially, anyway. You can't imagine what it's like to hear that mess of noise all the time, and then to come across someone who is totally silent – it's just bliss. But like you said to me earlier, it's not my ability that interests you? It's not your silence that interests me. You make me feel calm and peaceful. I don't feel like I need to talk, but I also feel like I can if I want to. It's nice. More than nice. Not many people in my life have been that interested in what I have to say."

Helena nodded.

"You are the first human I have had any great interest in knowing, Myka. I have spent well over a century with my own kind, using humans for food or…for sex. But you are so different. I find myself at a loss to explain it."

Myka shrugged.

"Then don't."

There was another beat of silence, and then Helena curled her arm, bringing Myka closer. She looked into Myka's eyes and then she moved closer and kissed Myka again softly.

"I will try not to be frightened, if you can be patient with me," she said slowly. Myka nodded, silent and wide-eyed. Helena slid Myka onto her knee without any perceptible effort, and kissed her gently at first, but it didn't stay gentle on either side for long. Myka's heart began to race and she reached over blindly to put her beer on the table before threading her fingers into Helena's soft, thick hair. She bit back a moan as Helena's nails scratched at her back, and then Helena slid her tongue into Myka's mouth, playing with Myka's tongue deftly. Myka really did moan, then, and one of Helena's hands moved to Myka's hair where she pulled at a handful of curls none too gently. Myka turned then to straddle Helena and grip the vampire's slight body between her knees. For all her formidable presence, Helena was smaller and thinner than Myka, a fact which was easy to forget since she could literally crush metal with her bare hands.

The kiss grew hungrier and Helena nipped at Myka's lips and tongue gently with her fangs. Myka drew back for a second, chuckling.

"You're good with those things, do you know that?"

Helena smiled, almost a smirk.

"I've had a little time to practice," she said wryly.

Myka bit down on Helena's bottom lip in response and was both thrilled and terrified by the low, rumbling noise that issued from Helena's chest in response.

"You are playing a dangerous game, Myka," she said against Myka's mouth.

"You don't scare me, vampire," Myka said, biting at her lip again.

Helena stopped for a moment, searching Myka's eyes.

"You really aren't frightened. I still don't believe it. I could rip your head from your body. I could drain you in seconds."

Myka met her gaze evenly, one eyebrow lifted.

"Is that what you want to do to me?"

Helena paused, biting her own lip for a moment.

"No."

Myka kissed her again and Helena groaned, her eyes fluttering closed. She drew back for a moment and then she kissed Myka roughly, her hand sliding under Myka's t-shirt and her nails grasping at her flesh. Myka gripped Helena's hair roughly, pulling it and kissing her hard, playing with Helena's tongue. Her tongue could move remarkably quickly, and that fact was making Myka's mind drift to places that made her breath come faster.

"If you're scared, now would be the time to slow down," Myka murmured, her mouth moving to Helena's neck, gently running her tongue along the sensitive flesh under her jaw.

"I…am terrified," Helena said, but her head was thrown back and her hands were roaming further still, to brush Myka's underwear and bra simultaneously.

"You have a funny way of showing it…" Myka chuckled, and then gasped as Helena's cool fingers brushed her nipple.

Myka's breath was coming in short gasps, and somewhere in the rational part of her brain, a voice was telling her to move back, to slow down, to not give Helena a reason to run away. Her rational brain, however, was not in the driving seat at that precise moment. Especially not when Helena was nipping at her ear with sharp fangs, making her gasp.

Myka's hands roamed a little more boldly at the encouragement, and she ran one hand up over Helena's ribcage, to cover Helena's breast. It was smaller than hers, the nipple was thinner and jutted out a little more against her thumb. But for all its familiarity, the difference was thrilling. Helena made a low growling sound, her throat vibrating under Myka's mouth.

"Do you want to stop, Helena?" Myka asked, before she explored any further as she so desperately wanted to.

Helena groaned a little and drew back. Her pupils were huge, the iris almost invisible. Myka idly wondered if that was a vampire thing or a Helena thing.

"I…I do not, not at all. But I think perhaps we should."

Myka couldn't help but feel disappointed. It must have shown on her face, and Helena's face fell.

"I am sorry, Myka. I don't want to hurt you. I could so easily hurt you."

Myka smiled at her ruefully.

"You worry too much, Helena. You've been with humans before, right?"

Helena sighed.

"Well, yes. But I was never terribly concerned with their well-being, Myka. I have never really cared for anyone like…" she trailed off uncertainly.

"What is it that you think you're going to do to me, if you lose control?" Myka asked, quietly.

"I worry that I would take your blood, that I could become overwhelmed by it. That I would hurt you. Your blood is…I know that I can't explain this to your satisfaction, but there is something different about your blood, something that makes it almost overwhelmingly attractive to me, and I suspect to other vampires. I would never forgive myself if I were to lose control."

Myka shrugged.

"So, try. Try drinking from me. If you can't stop, then we know this isn't a good idea."

Helena looked at her as if she'd grown another head.

"You are insane, Myka. Do you have a death wish?"

Myka shook her head, smiling.

"No, but I do have a few defences if you can't stop."

"Defences?" Helena raised an eyebrow.

Myka smiled again.

"Oh, no. I'm not telling. You only get to know about them if you're on the wrong side of them, how about that?"

Helena looked at her cautiously, as if wondering where on her body she could be hiding such defences.

"Trust me, Helena. I'm not going to let a vampire bite me without taking a few precautions."

"Are you sure about this, Myka?"

"Sure. I want to know if this is even possible before I start to worry about whether it's a good idea. Come inside."

She walked inside and sat on the couch, checking that her restraints and firearm were where she'd left them – within easy reach. She had a silver necklace in one pocket of her jeans, and a bracelet in the other.

Helena followed her slowly, clearly still unsure as to whether this was a good idea or not.

"Are you sure…"

Myka cut her off, raising a hand.

"I said I was sure, Helena. Now, how do you normally do this?"

Helena moved next to her on the couch, shifting their bodies closer.

"Well, normally I would glamour a human into wanting me to bite them, unless of course they have approached me to offer."

"Well, since that's not necessary…" Myka smiled.

"It also helps with the pain, from the bite."

"Okay, so let's start there."

Helena looked at her, and it was clear that she was trying to do something, but Myka could feel little, other than a slight whisper across her 'other' sense.

"Well, that's disconcerting," Helena finally said, leaning back slightly.

"I take it that wasn't how it was supposed to work?"

"Well, no. We seem to have a problem, in that case. I can't take away your pain."

"I can handle it, Helena. I was nearly beaten to death. I think I can handle a bite."

Helena shrugged then, visibly steeling herself.

"Very well."

She leaned over Myka, and breathed in close to her neck. Myka heard her fangs extend, and she took a deep breath to steady herself, to get ready for the pain. When it came, it was unpleasant, but not overwhelming. More of a sharp sting than anything else. But when Helena began to drink – she felt a not-unpleasant draining sensation. And the feeling of Helena sucking on her neck was bringing other, definitely not-unpleasant feelings to the fore. Helena moaning in her ear was not helping to calm her libido either. After she felt like their experiment had gone on long enough, she reached behind her blindly for her restraints and cleared her throat.

"Helena. I think that's enough."

No response, except for another low moan.

"Helena. I want you to stop, now."

Nothing. She grabbed Helena's hair with one hand and pulled.

"Helena, stop, now."

The vampire pulled herself away with a growl, her eyes black and her mouth bloody. After a moment, sense returned to her eyes.

"Oh my God, Myka, I'm so sorry…."

Myka picked up a napkin from the coffee table and wiped at her neck, where the bites stung only a little. There was surprisingly little blood.

"Successful, I would say. Wouldn't you?" Myka asked, her eyebrow raised.

"How can you say that? I could have killed you!"

Myka sighed impatiently.

"Yes. But I asked you to stop, and yes, I had to repeat myself, but you still stopped of your own accord. So, you're not out of control."

Helena looked at her, desire and fear warring in her expression.

"Why do you trust me?"

"Why don't you trust yourself?" Myka countered.

She leaned back in her chair, suddenly exhausted. Helena was sitting precariously on the edge of the couch, clearly unsure whether to stay or leave.

"Helena. You didn't do anything wrong. Can you please just relax?" Myka said, exasperated.

Helena sat back hesitantly, moving closer to Myka.

"I'm sorry. I just really don't want to hurt you," she murmured.

"And you didn't," Myka said. And after a moment, she thought. "Well, that's not entirely true. It did hurt, but it wasn't terrible. And you stopped, Helena. So you have nothing to be sorry for."

Myka looked at her and smiled mischievously.

"So, was it good for you?"

Helena made an exaggerated groaning noise and buried her head in her hands.

"You have no idea, Myka. Anything I say will just…well, it will sound filthy, quite frankly. But you are special in so many ways, darling."

"You're right, you did make that sound filthy."

Myka laughed, and Helena glared at her.

"You're making light of this deliberately, aren't you? So I will calm down?"

Myka tilted her head, smiling.

"Did it work?"

Helena smiled at her and leaned over to kiss her. Myka could taste her own blood on Helena's lips. It wasn't as horrible as she thought. It wasn't something she wanted to taste, particularly. But she still enjoyed the feeling of Helena's mouth on hers, Helena's tongue against hers.

After while they broke apart and Myka resumed her customary place with her head on Helena's shoulder. After she yawned a few times, Helena said she was going to go so Myka could sleep.

"You are exhausted, darling. Make sure you eat and drink properly tomorrow. The blood loss was not extreme, but you should look after yourself."

She kissed Myka softly and left. Myka went to bed a little sore, but satisfied that Helena wasn't the danger she thought she was.