Chapter 2.
Leaving the office when their investigation is in the labor consuming initial stage and everybody's contribution essential makes Boyd uncomfortable. The reason for taking the journey to the other end of the city considerably more so. But it's still better to get it over with right away, so he'll be able to fully concentrate on work later.
There are still remarkable traffic jams at every junction and the red and green lights have their respective turns several times before he can finally move along. Nothing else to do but sit and wait and waste his valuable time.
Has it really been 12 years already? He remembers well the rather self-destructive phase of his life that gave ground to all the preposterous rumours still sticking to him persistently. All hope to bring Luke back to normal life seemed to be gone and Mary finally did what she'd been threatening to do for years – packed her things and left. His former family home became an empty and uninviting place overnight. When there was no more reason to linger at work, he used to drop in some pub to cut the lonely and usually sleepless hours shorter. The one with that blonde waitress Kelly was just conveniently on his way home. That happy-go-lucky girl apparently never ended the night in bed alone. And sometimes, lacking better alternatives obviously, she ended up with him. But there never was anything serious between them, Kelly just wanted to have fun and he welcomed the brief moments of oblivion.
This pub-frequenting period didn't last for long. His crucial role in solving one brutal serial murder case received vast media interest and left the upper echelons of the Met no option but to give him the long due promotion. That provided him with a new focus, he pulled himself together and that particular pub and Kelly Sullivan stopped being his last resort. Kelly, who never had any reason to complain about the deficiency of the attention from the opposite sex didn't seem to be too upset.
Some weeks ago he received a very formal letter in which that same Kelly Sullivan claimed him to give a DNA sample to establish the paternity of her 11-year-old daughter. Not a single word from her all those years and now this... He refused to even consider the possibility. It had to be a misunderstanding, a mistake that was easy to clear out so everybody could just forget about it and go on with their life.
A week later came the next delivery. He could interpret the contents of this envelope effortlessly, the scientific terms and explanations about the matching markers and probability percentages all too familiar to him. He had no reason to question the results provided by a trustworthy lab and in the light of these results it was only natural that his contribution to the girl's welfare was expected.
The following meeting with Kelly was brief, businesslike and civilized. No excessive emotions nor accusations from either party, just a constructive discussion of all the legal and financial technicalities. It surprised him how pragmatically and unemotionally he took everything. As if he were arranging things for someone else and all this didn't concern himself as directly and deeply as it actually did.
The monthly sum Kelly asked was perfectly reasonable, so was her statement that she won't make any restrictions if he wants to participate in the girl's life. So he did what was presumably expected from him and spent some time with her on Saturday.
He was not sure whether he rather hoped or feared it would make the change. It didn't. Erin Jane was a lovely little girl, but as far as he was concerned, she could have easily been the kid of some friend or a neighbour or even a complete stranger - no instinctive recognition or instant emotional attachment whatsoever. She seemed to feel likewise. With the exception of a few trivial remarks, two and a half hours passed mostly in silence. After watching one not particularly funny comedy in the cinema, eating ice-cream in a café and taking a short stroll in the park he took her back home without having got to know her any better. His suggestion to do something together next week-end received a far from enthusiastic shrug in response.
He couldn't have spent the next weekend with her even if he wanted to, having to attend a conference that anyone else in the Met apparently didn't arse to go to. A week later the Thames returned what was left of the victims of a brutal and so far unsolved ritual murder. Then came the end of the month and wrestling with all the bloody expense reports took better part of his weekend. When he got the information about the murdered boy and the possible connection to a cold case this Saturday morning, he felt almost relieved to have another good excuse to avoid facing the uncomfortable new reality.
But the proverbial elephant was still in the room. He didn't want his role to be confined to dutiful monthly money transfers only and was well aware that it needed his own initiative to alter that. A couple of years, even less than a year ago it all would have been different, much easier. He just didn't have what it took in him any more. Maybe he'd laid that certain something to rest with Luke.
No complaints from Kelly's side so far. Until the recent phone call where she wanted to meet in person and discuss something urgent.
He has no idea what to expect, but gives himself an honest promise to keep his head cold, no matter what Kelly has in store for him.
''I haven't got much time,'' Boyd warns right away when Kelly opens the door for him, the straight-to-business attitude helping to mask his discomfiture. ''What's the urgent thing that couldn't be discussed on the phone then? Something concerning Erin?'' .
Kelly's reaction is ironic. ''As if I had any other matters to discuss with you!''
She hasn't changed much. A bit older and more mature yes, has put on a pound or two probably, but her dressing and make-up style pretty much the same he remembers. A bit too much for him. In harsh daylight at least.
''Where is she herself? At school?''
''There is no school this week. Autumn break - didn't you know?''
Boyd gives a guilty head-shake. He didn't. And he probably should be aware of such things now.
''Erin's with her friend Rosie, she lives right around the corner. Should be back soon, so you'll be able to meet her. I want to talk to you without her around at first.'' Kelly seemingly doesn't want to waste any time either. ''You do have a spare bedroom in your house, don't you?''
''And the reason you're asking this is...?'' he inquires suspiciously.
''I was wondering... could Erin stay with you for a couple of days? I'm planning a short trip to Spain...''
''And when exactly would this trip take place?''
''Leaving on Thursday, back home by Sunday evening. Just a quick recharge of solar batteries. That bloody climate we've got here is really getting me down.''
''Don't tell me you mean this week...'' Boyd's expression is incredulous.
The damned woman just nods innocently and all his composure flies out of the window.
''You must be fucking joking!''
''I know, I know, it's at a real short notice and all that...,'' Kelly tries to pacify him with poorly feigned regret. ''I just got such a fantastic bargain, half-prize practically and I really don't want to miss the opportunity.'' She gives him a cadging smile. ''Please tell me you'll take her, pretty please? You won't have to fuss with taking her to school this week or anything.''
''Why the hell don't you take her with you if she's having a school holiday? I'll pay for her trip if that's the problem.''
Kelly looks a bit uncomfortable for a moment. ''Look, the thing is that... I'm not going alone,'' she explains. ''It's intended to be a romantic cruise actually. I'm sure you agree that dragging an 11-year-old along doesn't quite attach to that concept.''
''I have to go to work and you know very well what kind of job I have,'' Boyd retorts, ''babysitting doesn't combine with that either.''
''Let me remind you in case you've forgotten,'' Kelly bites back, ''your daughter is 11 years old, not 11 months. Diaper-changing and feeding every three hours is ancient history, she doesn't require any particular baby-sitting these days. And she can manage a couple of hours on her own perfectly fine, if that's what you're worried about.''
''My working day lasts considerably more than 'a couple of hours'.''
''I thought that higher rank gives the privilege of more flexible schedule,'' Kelly raises her eyebrows in surprise.
Boyd snorts. ''In some ideal world, maybe!''
''Can't you just take a day or two off then?''
''Why not! All I have to do is put a big 'CLOSED' sign on my office door,'' he mocks. ''I'm not working in some bloody pub. We just started with a very complicated case, there's no way I can take Erin on my responsibility now. And I won't find anyone trustworthy to keep an eye on her that quickly.''
''That option I recommend you to not even consider,'' Kelly warns him in earnest. ''Your ears just won't survive that scream of protest, trust me. We had so many fierce arguments about it in the first couple of months after my mother's death. In the end I had no choice but to leave her home alone and guess what - I was utterly surprised how sensible and self-dependent she is for her age. My late mother really deserves all the credit for giving her such good upbringing. So rest assured - she's used to being on her own, even seems to like . Unrestricted access to TV and internet and a fridge full of junk food and she'll have the time of her life, won't even notice your absence. After all it's only two days, then there's weekend.''
''And you're absolutely bloody sure I haven't got any plans of my own for that particular weekend?'', he needles, for the sake of defiance mostly.
''Really?!'' Kelly sneers. ''You have social life as well then, I got the impression you lived for work only. I'm afraid you'll have to change these plans for I'm certainly not going to change mine. Why do I have to be the only one making sacrifices and giving up all personal life? I have to mess with her 24/7, it's only fair that you put up with a little bit of inconvenience and give me the well-deserved break. It's not much to ask, considering you haven't done anything for her all those years...''
''And whose fault is that, I wonder!?'', Boyd cuts in heatedly. ''How could I possibly give my share if I didn't have the slightest idea of her existence? It was your own choice to wait 11 years to tell me. Didn't it ever occur to you that I had a bloody right to know such thing!?''
Kelly smirks. ''It was a bit complicated back then, you weren't the only possible candidate, you see...'', she explains rather shamelessly.
''Oh really!? Why on earth am I not surprised!?''
Apparently not bothered by his scathing comment at all, she continues. ''My mother was so thrilled about the idea of getting a grandchild and eagerly volunteered to raise the kid herself. I'm not much of a mommy-material myself, so why not indulge her then... And knowing my mother – she wouldn't have wanted you nor anybody else to jeopardise her monopoly on the girl. There was no reason to muddle things up by involving third parties.''
''Don't you dare to condemn me, '' she warns sharply, noticing Boyd's fierce expression, '' I did what was best for Erin. She had a happy and stable childhood and my mother had the much-desired grandchild. And I had my life. What would have been the alternative? Me and you playing house together? It wouldn't have lasted a month and then what? This was the best solution for everybody. How was I supposed to know my mother's going to die that soon.''
Boyd grunts angrily. ''Of course not, you expected her to live forever and raise your child for you!''
''At least I didn't expect her to go so suddenly. She never complained anything and then a fatal heart-attack right out of the blue! I was left to deal with everything all alone. That's why I decided to find out who the other guilty party was. You were the easiest one to get in touch with, so I started with you. And guess what – got the lucky winner right away!'' Kelly leans against the table and chuckles. ''You should really consider playing lottery, might win a fortune with that luck of yours.''
Boyd seriously fights an urge to slap that arrogant bitch. ''And what do you expect me to do now?'' he snarls. ''Click the switch,'' he demonstratively snaps his fingers in front of her face, ''and start playing happy families just like that!? Jesus, woman, you have no idea what's my life been like, what I've been through just recently... I can't do it... I need more time... ''
''Excuse me for not feeling sorry for you! You've had plenty of time to get used to the idea. When my mother died, I had to turn my life upside down in 24 hours. I wasn't ready for anything either, in fact I never wanted any of that shit...''
''There's one thing I can't understand,'' he gives an angry head-shake,''why on earth did you have to give birth at all if you never wanted any of that ''shit'', as you so eloquently put it. Modern medicine offers other options, didn't you know?''
''Bloody modern medicine,'' Kelly snorts derisively, ''that got me in trouble in the first place! Those wretched birth control pills that were supposed to give some 99% guarantee... I definitely didn't expect to be that unfortunate 1%, thought it was just false alarm or something... And then it was already too damn late for termination. ''
Boyd's impulsive response is filled with venom. ''What a pity you didn't call me back then, I would have personally made sure you got to the gynaecologist in time!''
They both fall silent, seemingly appalled by the nasty turn their exchange of words took.
The front door is kicked open. Erin walks in, letting it fall shut behind her with a deafening bang.
Colourful scrunchies have given up the unfair fight with the windy weather and her long hair is a mess. Her grim expression matches that wild look quite well. She sends her yellow jacket flying towards the coat rack. It misses the target and lands on the floor.
''That's where it's going to stay, mind my words,'' Kelly warns her sharply. ''I'm not going to pick it up for you - it's not me who has to put it on all dirty and rumpled next time. What's wrong? Did you and Rosie fall out again or what?''
Erin doesn't consider her mother worth answering, just demonstratively tosses her shoes in opposite corners.
''Peter's here, come and say hello!''
Boyd finds it strange that Erin determinedly calls Kelly by the name, not 'Mom', but when he himself is referred to as 'Peter', it sounds suitably neutral. He forces himself to smile.
''Hi, Erin! How you've been doing? How's the school-break?''
The girl casts him a disdainful glance, mutters something incoherent in reply and starts to climb up the stairs.
He doesn't know what else to say or do, discouraged by such unfriendly feedback.
Sensing Boyd's diffidence in the presence of the girl, Kelly decides to take advantage of his momentary confusion.
''Erin, Peter and I decided that you'll be staying with him while Mike and I are in Spain,'' she announces unexpectedly.
''Whatever!'' Then the door upstairs is slammed shut.
''What the hell was that supposed to be now? We haven't decided anything!'', Boyd hisses to Kelly, shocked by her caddish move. ''All this time I've been trying to explain you why I can't take her... ''
''Do you really want me to go and tell her that you don't want her?'', Kelly confronts him.
''I've never said I don't want her, stop twisting my words! You saw her reaction - she herself clearly hates the idea. No wonder, considering she hardly knows me.''
''Then you should welcome the excellent opportunity to get to know each other better, right?'' Kelly points out triumphantly.
Boyd can't fight such argument. He gives a desperate sigh. ''Jesus... like a bloody extortion.''
''How's it going to be then? Do we have an agreement or not?'', Kelly pushes on, the presentiment of victory transparent in her voice.
''As if I ever had any choice.''
He is sick and tired of fighting. There's no point trying to reason with someone like Kelly Sullivan. Maybe Erin really is as sensible and self-dependent as she claims her to be. Her recent behaviour didn't leave such impression, so he just has to take Kelly's word for it. They will survive these couple of days under the same roof. Hopefully.
''I want you to come and pick her up on Wednesday evening already, I have to leave very early next morning.'' Kelly feels secure enough to set her terms already.
Boyd's phone starts ringing. He answers the call.
''Yes Spence... of course I want to talk to him myself... I try to come as soon as I can...''
''Sounds like you're urgently needed. Don't let me keep you,'' Kelly allows herself to be generous, having achieved her goals. ''Just don't forget to call me before coming here on Wednesday, then I can pack Erin's things together in time.''
Boyd gets in the car and fastens the seatbelt. It has started to rain heavily, so he turns on the sweepers. The argument with Kelly has worn him out and he needs a moment to gather himself. How on earth did she manage to rile him up to a point of turning so low!? Thank God the girl was out and didn't hear it. That feeling of shame and self-condemn is very familiar. Post crisis depression... The only outcome of that ridiculous therapy years ago was providing him with a posh term to describe that certain crappy feeling.
His phone rings again. It's Eve this time.