Well. It's been a while, hasn't it? It turns out that when you want to upload your writing to the internet, it helps if your broadband service actually works. Apparently we have a bad case of REIN. Some sort of interference. Who knew that would make it well nigh impossible for a person to use the internet? Not me. Anyway, without further ado, here is the latest, and long overdue, instalment of Death, or something like it. Tracy is due for a change, and Mr Valda pops up again.
Work was quiet, mercifully. Her day was punctuated by concerned visits from various staff members – Claudia, Leena, Steve – even Pete. Pete wasn't even on duty.
"So, boss. How you doing, after everything with the vamps?" he asked, before cramming his face with the donuts that Leena had delivered only a few minutes before.
"I'm okay, Pete," she said. "I was scared, you know? I was so scared that I would lose her. But she's fine. And so am I," she said, shrugging.
"And what about Tracy and the little dude? You okay with them being in your place?"
"Yes. I owe them. But I'm glad it's after I learned how to use my ability, and to shield. Because otherwise I'd be going crazy right about now," Myka said wryly.
"Yeah, I guess," Pete agreed, through a mouthful of his second donut. There was cream filling oozing from the edge of his mouth. Myka watched it in disgusted fascination. It was on the brink of falling to her desk. It was like driving past the scene of a car crash – she couldn't look away, but she was disgusted. She gave the blob of cream a 50/50 chance of hitting the pile of paperwork in front of Pete. He was oblivious to her fascination.
"So, you and Amanda," she said, and his head snapped up. The cream hit the top sheet of the paperwork with a wet splat. She opened the top desk drawer and got out some paper napkins and wiped up the cream as Pete gaped at her.
"What about me and Amanda?" he asked, after a moment. She kept her shields up resolutely. She wasn't sure how she was planning to deal with her ability now that it was useful – but she definitely didn't want to use it to take information about personal matters from her friends' minds.
"I mean – I'm not exactly the best at reading body language, but I can read enough to know that you're both interested in each other," Myka said, with a half-smile.
"You think she's interested in me?" he asked, his eyes wide.
"I am pretty sure, yeah," she said, taking a donut and pulling a piece off before eating the soft, sugary dough.
"Awesome," he said, with a wide smile.
"What happened to Kelly?" Myka asked.
Pete shifted uncomfortably in his chair.
"She… I don't think she liked how close we were. You and me, I mean. I told her that there was nothing between us. But she wouldn't believe it. I couldn't tell her that Mrs Frederic told me to protect you, so she just thought I was in love with you," he said, shrugging. He had managed to eat another donut during that last sentence.
"I… I didn't realise, Pete. I'm sorry," she said, honestly.
"It's okay. If she's the kind of girl who gets that jealous, and doesn't trust me, I don't need that in my life. I can't stand people who think that men and women can't be friends without sex being an issue," he said, shrugging again.
"Well. I can't argue with that. I'm still sorry, though, Pete. I had no idea that she thought that. I would have told her. Didn't you tell her about me and Helena?" she asked.
"Yeah. But she still believed that I had feelings for you. I told her of course I had feelings for you, I care about you. But I'm not in love with you. She still wouldn't believe me. So screw that. Plenty more fish wanting some of this," he said, running his hands down his torso in the most nauseating fashion. She laughed.
When her shift was finished, Myka went to pick up Tracy and David. She brought them to Artie's office. He had a new assistant, Deb. Deb was chatty and clever and not at all like Sally. She was also entirely human. Myka listened to her thoughts for a few minutes, to make sure that she wasn't another of Sally's friends or family, trying to get at her through Arthur Nielsen. Deb was sincere, happy, and smart, and her words and thoughts were almost identical. The only things she didn't say out loud were things she considered unkind. Like her observation that Myka looked "like shit". And she also didn't ask what was wrong with Tracy's arm, although she was obviously curious.
Myka relaxed, letting her mind drift while Artie helped David to set up shields. It would take longer for the kid, he'd explained to Myka and Tracy before shooing them out, because kids didn't have the concentration to keep them up for long periods of time.
"So, it's gonna happen tomorrow," Tracy said, her fingers tapping against the back cover of her cellphone, which was clutched in both hands.
"Huh?" Myka asked, having drifted almost into sleep.
"I might change, tomorrow. It's almost full moon," she said.
"Yeah," Myka said, nodding. "Are you doing okay?" she asked, suddenly wide awake.
"I am," Tracy said. "I mean, I'm nervous. But Amanda and Pete will be there, and they're going to take me to the other werepanthers before I change, so they can teach me about hunting and all that."
"Is it just me, or are you a little excited about this?" Myka asked, quirking an eyebrow at her sister.
"Maybe a little," Tracy said.
Myka smiled.
"Is it okay if I think you're a little crazy? Some days I would love to get rid of all this complication, you know? Just have a normal, quiet life?" Myka said.
"You can think that, Myka," Tracy said with a smile. "The grass is always greener, right? So far in my life the only excitement I had was David – the rest of my life has been just so boring. I wanted things to be a little more exciting. I guess I got my wish," she said with a slightly rueful grin.
David emerged with a smiling Arthur Nielsen after an hour or so. The smile looked strange on the rumpled, bearded man's face.
"He's a smart kid, your son," Artie said, and Tracy beamed.
"He sure is," she said, pulling David in for a hug and messing up his hair. He protested loudly at that, and Myka and Tracy laughed.
"Come back next week, same time, and we'll do some more exercises, David," Artie said, addressing both Tracy and David. Tracy nodded, and David smiled up at Artie.
Thanks, Uncle Artie
You're welcome, kid
Artie ruffled David's hair fondly, and Myka smiled. Maybe this wouldn't be so difficult after all.
They spent a quiet afternoon together, Amanda and Pete present as always, playing Monopoly and Scrabble. To Myka's surprise, when Helena arrived after sundown, she joined them for Scrabble, and she won the game, trouncing them all. Tracy and David went to bed early, and Myka and Helena departed for Helena's house soon after, leaving Amanda and Pete to watch over Myka's family. Amanda had more or less insisted that she would stay, watching over Tracy and David, until the threat of MacPherson and Christina was done with. She owed Tracy that much, she said.
"I can't believe you beat me at Scrabble," Myka said, smiling, as she pulled her squad car into a space in front of Helena's house.
"Well, I have had a few more years to extend my vocabulary," Helena said dryly.
They sat together in peace and quiet, Myka's head in Helena's lap, as they watched television. Helena found Buffy the Vampire Slayer hilarious, and they were slowly working their way through the boxed sets. Myka was spending her time watching Helena's facial expressions as she reacted to the witty dialogue and ridiculous vampires.
"They turn to dust, Myka! Dust! Can you imagine?!" Helena said, chuckling, and Myka smiled. It was odd to see her vampire smile at all, let alone laugh. But then, Helena hadn't had too many reasons to smile, so far as she knew. Christina's madness had been a thorn in her side for most of her life.
They made love that night fondly, sweetly, without any urgency, or any biting, for that matter. They had not spoken specifically about the fairy blood issue, not since Helena's declaration of love. But it was a different experience without the bite; more intimate and less, at the same time. Myka, as usual, gave in to sleep while Helena watched over her. The next morning, there was a note on the nightstand.
My love
I enjoyed watching you sleep. You twitch in the most adorable fashion when you dream. I sleep today underground, in a cave nearby the river at the west edge of town. Should you need to find me, there is a lightning-struck oak on the west bank of the river just near the jetty, behind which hides a small crack in the rocks. There is just enough room for a person to pass, moving sideways, after which the rock opens. Follow the passage to the end. I sleep under a huge flat rock, which a human could not move alone. Under it there is a small space in which I sleep.
I wish I could see you holding your face to the sun, my love. I regret much of what has happened in my long life, but missing the sun has not been part of that, until now. The sight of your eyes, lit up by the star of the day – that, I would cherish forever.
Until tonight
Helena
Myka's eyes filled. Helena was a fascinating person, a creature of darkness, if the lore was to be believed. But at heart, she was a romantic. And a writer. In fact HG Wells, the writer, was named for her. In honour of the daughter of the Wells' who had disappeared tragically in the new colony of the Americas. She was a second or third cousin; she couldn't remember which. The woman was a mass of contradictions. Evil and good and dark and light and sweet and deadly and everything in between. Myka wasn't sure if she would ever truly know the vampire. She shook her head and went to shower, mentally bracing herself for the day to come. There wasn't anything pressing happening at work, but tonight was the night, for Tracy. She would become whatever she was going to become – Myka was still a little hazy on what her sister would actually be, when she changed. Not a panther, not a human, but something between the two.
The day was long and sweaty, the air-conditioning at the Sheriff's office having died with a mass of crackling and sparks the day before. Claudia had tried and failed to repair it, despite her genius for engineering. Myka made several calls to the local engineer, but he had his hands full with other malfunctioning units and wouldn't be able to get to it until the next weekend at the earliest.
"It's the humidity, Sheriff. Send 'em all out of whack, 'specially at this time of year. Sorry, ma'am."
She cursed the man under her breath. Ma'am, again. It was almost as annoying as the fact that the air conditioning was going to be out of commission for at least another week. She wondered idly if Mrs Frederic would approve a new unit, on the basis that Myka was likely to murder someone herself in this heat. A droplet of sweat made its way down her forehead and dripped into her eye, stinging like a mother. She cursed again, quietly, grabbing a small towel from her gym bag and wiping her face and the back of her neck.
"Sheriff?" Leena's voice was hesitant, as if she sensed Myka's annoyance.
"Yeah?" Myka looked up wearily, wondering how ridiculous, exactly, her hair looked right now. She should have done something to get it out of her face that morning, but she was already so hot right after getting out of Helena's shower…
"Sheriff, Mr Valda is here to see you," Leena said, breaking into her thoughts. "Have you got time to see him?"
Myka immediately sat up straighter. The local packleader was a decent man, and commanded respect. She nodded for Leena to send him in, and after a moment the man appeared, looking cool and refreshed in a black suit and a white shirt open at the throat.
"Good morning, Sheriff," he said, sitting in the chair opposite.
"Mr Valda. What can I do for you today?" she asked. A moment later Leena arrived with some sort of iced coffee drink for Myka and a black coffee for Mr Valda. Myka took a sip in relief at some respite from the unrelenting heat.
"It's actually the other way around, or so I hope, Sheriff. Your sister is here, I understand – the woman who was attacked by Amanda Martin?" he said, raising an eyebrow.
"Yes, she is," Myka replied, a little puzzled.
Mr Valda nodded, taking a sip of his coffee.
"I would like to assist her as much as possible with her transition," he said smoothly, "and to that end, I would like to arrange for the pack to congregate in the woods behind your home this evening. That way, when your sister changes, she will be with her own kind, her new pack. It is something we do for weres once they come of age and make their first transition. We don't normally deal with half-weres, but in this particular case, I and the pack agreed that your sister should be a part of our group, since it was one of us who made her. Does that sound acceptable to you?"
Myka nodded. She couldn't see any reason why not, and it made sense, if Tracy was to become part of this pack, for her first change to be with them.
"Very well, Sheriff. In that case, I will see you this evening," Valda said, standing and offering her a small bow before leaving as quickly as he had appeared. Only the slightly steaming (and empty) coffee cup proved that he'd been there at all. Myka took a breath and then lifted the receiver on her phone, dialling in the familiar digits of her home number.
"Hey, Myka, what's up?" Tracy asked, a smile evident in her voice.
"Hey Trace, I just saw the local packleader. He wants to come by later with the pack, to make you welcome and to be there for your first change. I hope that's okay. I think it's a gesture of respect or something, and I thought that if I refused him it would be rude," Myka said, all in one breath. She still felt extremely guilty about this situation; about Tracy's involvement. She hadn't asked to be part of Myka's fucked-up life.
"Sure, Mykes. Sounds good. I guess it'll help to have more weres around, to keep me in line if I go all crazy or something," Tracy said, with a small laugh.
"I'm sure it will all go fine," Myka said soothingly. "Just because you're gonna be a half-were doesn't mean you'll go crazy. Or crazier, I guess," she injected, trying for a little humour.
"Yeah, says the crazy lady who hears the voices," Tracy said, mockingly. She snorted out a laugh and Myka, surprised, did the same. They giggled for a moment before Myka said she should get back to work, and she hung up with a smile on her face. She hadn't anticipated ever having her "real" family around her, but it was turning out to be a more pleasant experience than she thought. Tracy was a genuinely nice person, and having a sister was kind of cool. She wiped her forehead again absently with a towel before starting on a stack of personnel reports that needed to be finished for Mrs Frederic's office, the smile on her face lingering for a long time after.
That evening, dinner was a quiet affair. Myka didn't need to listen to Amanda's thoughts to hear how guilty she felt about turning Tracy; it was clear in her every movement. David, however, was almost leaping around in excitement, chattering to his mom about her change, about what she would look like once she changed over. Tracy was smiling back wolfishly as she ate her tuna casserole, and Myka didn't need to listen to her thoughts to know that she was almost as excited as David. Pete was there, stoic and concerned for Amanda. Myka thought about saying something to Amanda, to try to make her feel better, but she decided to keep her thoughts to herself. Tracy would deal with it if Amanda overburdened herself with guilt; Myka was sure of that.
After dinner, they sat in various positions around Myka's living room. Amanda was gnawing on her nails, leaning forward on the smaller couch, her eyes far away. Tracy was watching whatever was on, with apparently avid interest, and David was beginning to doze off in her lap. Pete was lounging on the floor and Myka was curled up in the room's one armchair with her feet underneath her. The wait until sundown was quiet and tension-filled, but finally the sun set, and they made their way silently to the back yard. Myka sat on the porch swing with David next to her, and a minute or so later Helena arrived, blurring silently into the silent tableau of Amanda, Pete and Tracy standing next to one another, waiting for the pack's arrival (and Tracy's change).
Helena kissed Myka's hand, bowing slightly, before sitting down next to David. She seemed surprised when the boy leaned against her slightly, his head on her leather-covered shoulder. Her eyes widened and a slight smile tickled at the edge of her mouth. Myka could have watched them forever, but at that same moment, a rustling began in the trees, and a group of 30 or so people appeared, Benedict Valda at the front.
"Good evening, Sheriff," he said, bowing slightly from the edge of the trees. She nodded back, and Valda turned his attention to Tracy.
"Welcome, Ms Bering, to our pack. I am Benedict Valda, the pack leader, and I declare you part of our pack, under my personal protection. I am sorry for the insult and the injury that was done to you, but I hope that now you will make this pack your home. It will be only a moment, I believe, before your change overcomes you. Do not fight it. Welcome it, and do not be afraid. You are one of us, now," he said, his eyes warm, and Tracy smiled at him nervously.
There was an air of expectance, now, in the small back yard, the group of people tense and excited. Eyes were shining and teeth slightly bared in smiles that were close to snarls. Suddenly Tracy bent over, a soft noise of surprise exiting her lips.
"It's happening," Amanda murmured to her. "You should strip now. We can cover you up, if you want."
Tracy shook her head, indicating that it didn't matter, and she pulled off her clothes. She'd only put on shorts and a tank earlier that evening, ready to abandon them when the change came. She bent over again as if she'd been punched in the stomach, and it was then that her outline turned liquid, the way Pete's had that night weeks ago. A noise escaped her that was halfway between a howl and a scream. Myka tensed, worried that something was wrong. Tracy's body didn't change shape, or at least not exactly. Her face elongated a little, the jaw shaping into something not quite cat but not quite human, and her white skin became jet-black in an instant as sleek black fur covered it. There were soft noises of approval from the pack as she straightened up. David was on his feet, avidly staring at the change in his mother, his face bright with excitement. Myka found that she, too, was on her feet, watching the change in fascination. Tracy was beautiful, her eyes gone from greenish-hazel to bright green, and her face and body covered in the sleek fur of a panther. She looked like a mixture of human and big cat, her hands partially transformed into retracting claws, her jaw longer and her teeth sharp. She was beautiful and terrifying. She looked as if she could rip a human in half.
"She is something, is she not?" Helena murmured to Myka, and Myka nodded without turning, her mouth slightly open.
"Welcome, Tracy," Mr Valda said again, and the pack echoed him, first in words and then with a cheer that became a howl as they allowed their changes to overtake them. Myka had to put her hands over David's eyes as the group of men and women shucked their clothes without any trace of shame or worry at their nakedness. Helena chuckled softly behind her.
Myka noticed a small woman with dark hair and a slightly dark complexion that indicated that she was a mix of races – Iraqi or Persian, Myka thought – who was staring at Tracy, her eyes wide with admiration at the transformation. It was a little odd, Myka mused, since half-weres weren't exactly accepted by the were community. But the woman was transfixed, at least until she, too, began to change, and then Myka turned her head to avoid seeing yet another naked body. There was probably a limit on how many naked people a person should see in a day, and she'd passed hers a ways back.
"You are more conservative than I would have thought, my love," Helena murmured in her ear as the pack began to disappear into the trees, wolves and panthers and bears and was that a tiger? They melted away into the darkness and Myka let out a breath, watching Tracy run off on all fours, a strange, loping sort of run. She was flanked by a larger werepanther – Amanda – and a massive bull mastiff, Pete's chosen form for the evening. It would be hard for him to keep up with the pack in his usual dog form given that they were mostly large wolves and dogs.
"She will be fine," Helena reassured her, and Myka turned and smiled.
"Hey," she said, feeling instantly better as Helena smiled back at her. Her poetic declaration of the morning came back to Myka, and her smile widened. "So, the sun, huh?"
Helena nodded, her smile a little shy.
"I would like that too," Myka said. "Maybe someday. You never know, in this town."
Helena nodded, and then looked down as David tugged on her sleeve.
"Hey, Mrs Vampire," he said, making Myka chuckle. "Why can't I hear you thinking?" he asked earnestly, looking up at her with wide, adorable eyes. Helena swallowed nervously.
"I do not know, David," she said, solemnly, and he nodded sadly.
"That's okay. Can I call you Aunt Helena?" he said, guilelessly, and Helena looked helplessly from him to Myka. Myka just shrugged, and Helena looked down at the kid before nodding. "You may call me Aunt Helena, if that is what you wish," she said. He smiled widely and then dragged her towards the house, chattering about some television show that he wanted to watch. Helena looked over her shoulder as she allowed herself to be dragged along, her eyes wide and pleading Myka to help her. Myka laughed out loud, that time, as she watched her terrifying creature of the night being thwarted by a five-year-old and his freely offered affection.