Chapter 2: If Someone Helped
I do not own The Black Magician Trilogy or its characters. (Unfortunately!)
I pace backwards along the corridor of the Healing Quarters for what must be the twentieth time. The clinical smell clings in my nose. I stand by the window and look out. It seems like the destruction in the city is another world compared to the untouched Guild buildings. Magical battles should affect magicians lives not people like slum dwellers who struggle enough already. Depressed by the sunny weather outside, I turn around and sit down next to Osen. By the eye I'm worried! Worried about Sonea, wondering when she'll wake up. Worried about how much of a terrible job I did Healing Akkarin's heart. Worried about how the Guild will react to black magicians and Balkan's retirement and how weak we are to another attack. And above all I'm worried about Lorlen.
Me and Osen have been trying to keep ourselves busy with things in the Guild to distract us from how bad things are with him. I managed to give him a small amount of Healing before he insisted that I go after Akkarin to help them. He's so selfless. It's irritating. And there's also a tiny nagging voice in the back of my mind which blames Osen for what happened. If Lorlen hadn't pushed him out of the way...
There's no use in speculating. He already blames himself enough. You shouldn't.
I know but still..
No stop it!
Great now I'm having conversations with myself.
From the end of the corridor I see Lady Vinara walking towards us. I stand up as she nears.
"How are.." I pause. Who should I ask about? "..they?" She looks between us both.
"Sonea is awake and currently at Akkarin's bedside where he will hopefully make a near perfect recovery," she says. I breathe a sigh of relief. They'll get better. Wait.
"Lorlen?" I ask. A frown crosses her face. "We aren't sure if the Administrator will recover from his injuries." She keeps talking about crushed bones and internal bleeding but I bearly hear what she's saying. Keeping my voice as steady as possible I end the conversation quickly,
"If there's any change in his condition please contact either myself or Lord Osen immediately."
She nods, "Of course." I walk off briskly, desperate to get away before I break. "Cloe!" Osen calls after me. "Not now Osen," I call back. I can't turn back now. My mind takes me to the first place I think of. His office. The door swings open at my touch. I close the door and lean against it. Piles of paper cover his desk as usual. Since the Invasion me and Osen thought that it was inappropriate to use Lorlen's office. I sit at the window seat that I usually sit in when Lorlen does his work. It's a Freeday today. Even on Freedays Lorlen would be in here. It's eerie without him. This is what my life is going to be like now. Without Lorlen.
She said might not recover...
Might! That's good!
Yeah, might NOT! That's terrible.
Oh shut up!
I think I'm going insane. I feel so alone and he's not even gone. I bring my knees up to my chest and hug them. I already feel tears coming. I want to hope but it feels helpless. Just to sit there and hope for the best. The door opens and Osen walks in.
"Are you okay?" he asks. I shake my head and sniffle, "I'm losing him Osen." He steps forwards and holds me. I cry into his robes for I don't know how long. After a while I step back from him and wipe my eyes. He smiles slightly, "Better?" I nod. "Thanks."
"No problem, you ever need me just ask, okay?" he says. I nod. "I've got a meeting with the Higher Magicians so I'd better go, do me a favour and get some sleep, Cloe, you look awful." I laugh. "Sure thing Osen, goodbye." He smiles back. "Goodbye Cloe, take care of yourself." With that he sets off through the University. But I'm not ready to leave just yet. I'll just stay here a while. Curling up onto the seat again, lean my head against the window and watch the stars come out over the city. As I fall asleep my gaze lands on the Healing Quarters and one thought comes to mind.
Goodnight Lorlen. Sweet dreams and get well soon.