Chapter 7
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"Hello...Daughter."
Everything seemed to stop, the world holding its breath as Leia was faced by a man who called her daughter. He was not the man the universe had known as Bail Organa, not the man she had practically worshiped as her father. The Jedi garb he wore made it quite obvious that it was the other individual in front of her. Anakin Skywalker.
Darth Vader.
But he didn't look like Darth Vader. He looked young, handsome, and very sad.
Leia was only peripherally aware that Han had grabbed hold of her shoulders and was shaking her slightly.
"It's...okay Han...it's..."
"What Leia? Who's there?" Han moved Leia aside and checked out the room. "Leia?" he asked, confused when nothing seemed amiss.
"Han, give me a moment, will you?" Leia asked in a strained voice.
Han looked at her for a moment and finally said, "Alright Leia, I'll be outside."
Leia just nodded and waited for Han to shut the door. She could hear Luke's soft voice and knew that her brother was explaining things to her lover.
She took a deep breath and faced the man behind the mask that had haunted her nightmares for years. "Vader," she said flatly.
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Leia watched the specter grimace before he spoke. "Leia...I think we have much to speak about, much for me to say, to apologize for."
"You can never apologize enough, Vader, I will never forgive you," she hissed.
"If not forgive then you must at least move past it. Doing otherwise would only hurt yourself in the end."
Leia opened her mouth but stopped when the man raised a hand. "Leia...I am Anakin now. Darth Vader died when I threw that lying filth I once called friend down a reactor shaft. I'm sorry, Leia. I'm so sorry, for everything. For hurting you, for Alderaan, for hurting Luke and Han. I'm sorry. Perhaps you can never forgive me, perhaps I'll always only be Vader to you, but know this: When I discovered that I would be a father, when I found out Padmé was pregnant...it was the happiest day of my life."
The man walked forward and perched himself on the edge of the bed and continued. "Padmé was sure it would be a boy, but I had my heart set on a girl," he said, smiling. His eyes refocused on Leia and his smile disappeared. "Bail was a good friend of Padmé's; it made sense that a child of hers would go to him. I should have known, Leia. I don't know what would have changed, but I should have known."
"I loved your mother, Leia, I loved her desperately. I sold my soul in the hopes that I could save her, and in doing so damned both myself and her. As much as you may hate me, know that no one hated me as much as I did."
"And how did she die in the end?" Leia asked quietly.
"I don't actually know," he said, equally quiet. "I had just finished killing every person in the Separatist base on Mustafar when your mother came. Obi-Wan had told her of what I had done and had come to confront me. I told her those things you heard and I was so angry when she didn't agree with me. I choked her. I used the Force to choke Padmé, my pregnant wife, and didn't stop until Obi-Wan made me do it."
Leia's eyes burned accusingly at Anakin, but stayed quiet.
Anakin closed his eyes and looked at the ground. "You don't know the power of the Dark Side, Leia. I don't speak of the power it can give you, I'm talking about the power it gains over you. I had just murdered everyone I could find in the Jedi Temple and then killed the beings that were in control of the Separatists. In my eyes, I had brought peace to the Republic, I had brought security. I believed these things because doing otherwise would mean confronting the truth of what I had done and what I had become."
"My duel with Obi-Wan ended with me limbless and less than a meter away from a river of lava. When the heat finally caught my clothes and eventually me on fire, he left me there. I remember lying there, I remember burning alive and unimaginable pain. I remember Palpatine finding me and 'rescuing' me. He left me on that table, Leia, he left me in agony and assembled the suit around me without any painkillers, without being put unconscious. I was awake while they built me, and I remember watching that mask descend onto my face."
Leia's mouth had dropped open and she looked shocked and horrified. But still, she said nothing.
"It wasn't just the Emperor being cruel, you know. Well, it was, but there was a reason to it. Luke has told you before, Leia, and I'll tell you again: fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering. The Dark Side thrives on pain, fear, suffering, and hate. And I was in pain, Leia, pain for every moment of my pathetic existence. And the pain, Leia, is what kept me immersed in the Dark Side. When I was finally entombed in that suit, I asked about Padmé. The Emperor told me that, in my anger, I had killed her. Without Padmé, I didn't even bother trying to justify my actions in the following years."
"So Luke..." Leia asked.
"Finding about my son changed everything, Leia. It changed everything. I already despised my master but thus...it was unmistakable proof that I wasn't, at least directly, responsible for her Padmé. A piece of my wife was alive. Luke's existence changed everything. It didn't make a good man, I'm not suggesting that...but the Sith do not care for others. They do not love others. I didn't develop a profound sense of love for my son, but knowing of him gave me an emotion that was not something any Sith would have felt. I wanted him to join me, to destroy the Emperor, to rule the galaxy-"
Leia barked out a laugh, "Luke?"
Anakin winced. "He jumped off a gantry by way of saying 'no.' It made an impression on me and again, something inside me shifted. By the time Luke confronted the Emperor, enough had apparently changed that a voice of reason, the voice of the Light Side was finally recognized by me once more."
Anakin finally looked up and smiled. "Your brother, Leia, it was your brother who made me do that. After decades of being a monster, he did what not even Obi-Wan or Yoda thought possible. Leia...daughter...your mother would be so proud of you. So damn proud of you. And so am I."