The Essential Nature of Apologies

Disclaimer: The usual – I owned nothing of the Potterverse, and so am still a wage-slave. Damn it. I have, however, paid off my car loan.

While the four humans were standing beside the centaur herd, Harry Potter stepped quietly towards Hermione Granger. He knelt down beside her, oblivious to the fact he knelt down on the spot where she have been vomiting. However, just before his knees reached the soiled ground, Minerva McGonagall cast a quick scourgification' spell.

Harry took the girl's hands and raised her to her knees, facing him. He said, "I am very sorry I yelled at you, Hermione. I know now that we were both reacting to a world we did not understand and which hated us, although for different reasons. You hid behind your book-knowledge as a way to shield yourself from those who did not understand you."

"I struck out in a rage against those who felt they could abuse me and others with impunity – I had put up with that for most of my life, and I was told that the magical world would be different, it would be better. When that was shown to be a lie, I struck out, and in my rage, I yelled at you. For that I am sorry."

The young human stood and looked to Professor McGonagall. ""Professor, Aunt Minnie, I must also apologize for what I said to you. I understand now how your life has had losses that no person should be required to bear. You have been through two devastating wars, and many of your closest friends were killed, sometimes in very unpleasant ways. Due to the corrupt world we live in, you are now required to teach the children of those who murdered your loved ones." With this, he looked at Draco Malfoy, with a look of disgust on his face.

Turning to the huge man, he said "Hagrid, I am sorry for my words to you. I understand now that you had a very important secret mission for the Headmaster, and you got distracted. You still laboured under the assumption that I must have know things about the magical world that I did not, like how to find the train. What I still don't understand is why you are not allowed to do magic."

Hagrid blushed. "Well, yer see, a while back when I was going tae Hogwatrs myself, a girl was killed at the school and I were blamed for it, and I were expelled and my wand snapped."

Harry looked puzzled. "Did you have anything to do it?"

Hagrid shook his head. "No, I had nothing to do with it, but being as my mum was a giant, I got blamed anyway. Even with that, Headmaster Dumbledore made sure I got the job of gamekeeper at Hogwarts – he looked after me. Being part-giant, there was no way that authorities were going to reverse their rulings. A great man, Dumbeldore. He looked after me, in spite of it all."

Harry's face started getting red with rage again. "Does the Headmaster know you were innocent? You said he has a couple very important offices. He should have been able to correct this travesty. How long ago was this?"

Standing to the side, with a bit of a shocked look on her face, the elder witch quietly said, "It was 48 years ago."

Harry exploded. "Fourty-eight years, and one of the most important men in the magical world knows you were innocent, and has done nothing to reverse this miscarriage of justice! No bloody way I'm having anything to do with a place he is running, or a world where this kind of rabid bigotry is allowed to poison the way people behave! And where people let their hatred and bigotry stand even when they know it's wrong!"

"You may think he's great man, but he's just like my uncle. He wants every one to believe he's a great man, but he just talks a good game. He makes all the right noises so everyone thinks he's fantastic, but all he seems to do is, well, nothing. He hides his inactivity behind a great story. He doesn't do bugger all! Supposedly, I am part of a prophecy to get rid of Voldemort permanently, but what has he done to get rid of Voldemort's followers, or getting society to reject the poison that feeds Voldemort's program and his followers. Nothing! Absolutely nothing!"

Hagrid's face was very pale as everything he had believed collapsed around him.

Draco spoke up. "Well, when are you going to apologize to me, Harry Potter?"

Harry turned to the young blond wizard. "Why the hell do you think I should apologize to you? Ever?"

Draco said , "But you injured me. You hurt me. You can't do that."

Harry smiled with a very nasty grin, "And you think your attacking other people around you didn't merit you being punished?"

Draco answered, "Just told them the truth. You're a half-blood, and your girlfriend there is a mudblood. You attacked me with no reason."

Harry shook his head. "You attack other people with words, and you don't see that you are attacking people. You think that your bigoted opinions are beyond question, and the fact that you hurt other people is not important, because you are not accountable for your words. You are wrong. Your hateful words are direct attacks, and my hurting you was a direct response in reaction to your hatred. You hate people who contradict your beliefs in your own superiority, your own place in the world. Well, that's too fucking bad, Draco. It's just too bad!"

Firenze looked at Minerva, and said "Please cast the spell, my lady."

The elderly witch nodded, raised her wand and spoke "Aurae Vidimus!", and to the two students, the world was filled with colour."

Firenze looked at Draco, and asked, "Do you now see the aura around you and around the others, Draco Malfoy? Your aura is filled with the colours of hate, and the lust for power. Not the desire to learn about power, but the hunger to have and weald power over others. Not for any good, but only for your glorification. You believe that in order for you to win, they must lose."

"On top of that, you see an apology as a sign of weakness, and so you want harry to apologize to prove that you are stronger than him, so your own power is enhanced. Well, you are wrong – the ability to apologies lies in the strength to admit our own faults, and to correct our errors. You cannot admit that you were wrong, and for you to admit it, you believe, would mean you are weak."

The centaur then asked, "Do any of you know the parable of the full teacup?"

To the surprise of many of the group, Hagrid began to speak. "The abbot at the monastery was interviewing the new novitiates to see who was worthy to become a full-fledged monk. As he spoke to them, he served tea in small cups. One of the brightest students talked forcibly about what he had learned and what he wanted to learn and what he wanted to do with the monastery when he eventually became abbot, as he believed was his destiny."

"As the student was speaking, the abbot continued to pour tea into the cup. Soon, the student noticed the tea cup was overflowing and the tea was running over the table."

"The student remarked 'Sir, the tea cup is overflowing!', and the abbot smiled. He said, 'Young man, like the tea cup, you are overflowing. There is no way you can take in more, until you empty your own cup. You have no room to learn anything more, because you like the tea cup, are too full."

Draco looked puzzled. He did not understand.

The centaurs and the older humans nodded.

Ever the inquisitive one, Hermione looked at Hagrid and asked, "Where did you learn that. I have read it in books about Zen teachings, in my parents' library, but there is nothing like it at Hogwarts. I know, I looked."

Hagrid smiled. "You may not know that I am kind of like an ambassador to the Yetis in Tibet, and the dragon ranches in China and Japan. Them, and us at Hogwarts, have kind of an exchange program. You see, I teach about magical beasts, and we have arranged that a couple yetis come over for a couple weeks in winter, when the weather is to their liking, and the odd dragon come spring after they have fed after their winter hibernation. In exchange, I go over there for a couple weeks – it seems an Englishman who has no interest is colonizing their country is long been considered completely mythical in their societies. While I'm there, I get to play with their dragons, and I pick up a bit of wisdom on the side."

Firenze turned back to Draco. "Young Malfoy, your thirst for power is quite contrary to our ways. We can see that you are hungry, even desperate, to learn our ways, but only as a way for you to take power over others. This is not the way of our teachings. "

"Draco Malfoy, it is not that we will not teach you. With your craving for dominance, we cannot teach you. When you have emptied yourself of your hatred of others, and your obsession with power, then we may be able to teach you our ways. But not now, perhaps not ever. Only the future will show which is the case."

"You were brought here tonight so that you could see that there is beauty in our world. Beauty that does not lie in the quest for power, but in the natural way of things. Ours can be a beautiful world, if you choose that as your path."

"However, young Draco Malfoy, if you follow in your father's footsteps, you will make yourself our deadly enemy, and we will treat you as such, and you have been shown how we deal with our enemies. Think carefully, because the choice is yours, and yours alone."

Author's note: Many people see an apology as a sign of weakness and having to give an apology as a sign of inferior power.

Another common mistake is mistaking regret as an apology. It is a common 'joke' that when you step on a Canadian's foot, they say "I am sorry". This is not an apology, but a statement regretting the event occurred and that both were inconvenienced. It's along the same lines as saying "I am sorry that you are a complete idiot" – the person is regretting, but not apologizing. There is a good description of this misunderstanding in a scene in the book 'King John of Canada' by Scott Gardiner (a good read, although I am dissatisfied with the ending).