Otherwise known as 'The End' of this little fanfic of mine. Thank you all so much for reading. Myka starts to come to terms with the changes in her life.
Myka headed back to the station after her session with Abigail to check on her new vampire deputy. Helena had protested Myka's decision to allow Claudia to go back to work so quickly after becoming a vampire. In this particular case, however, Myka had gone against Helena's advice. Leena and Kelly had worked several seriously complicated pieces of magic to help Claudia keep control over her emotions and appetites, and the girl was proving to be a serious deterrent to those in the town who had any designs on causing trouble. More than a few fistfights had spontaneously dissipated just at the mention of Claudia's name, or so Myka had heard.
"Hey, Claud," Myka said, as she entered the station and took off her hat, smoothing down the curls carefully. She was trying hard to do anything she could for Claudia – like the children who'd died, she was an innocent victim in all of this. She refused to speak to Helena at all, and spoke to Myka only because she had to, despite Leena's best efforts to the contrary.
"Boss," Claudia said, shortly, without looking up. She was sitting on the edge of her desk fiddling with some papers. She was much paler now, her skin blue-tinged, and her hair would stay in its current style for eternity, according to Helena. A short bob with a purple stripe through it. At least it was pretty, Myka thought.
"Have you eaten today, Claud?" Myka asked, concerned at Claudia's pallor.
"Not yet, Ma'am," Claudia said automatically, and Myka raised an eyebrow.
"You should know better than that, Deputy," she barked, and Claudia straightened up, suddenly.
"Yes, Ma'am," she said, and Myka took a deep breath.
"There's a supply of Tru Blood in the refrigerator," Myka said, and Claudia nodded. "I'll wait until you've filled up before I leave."
"Yes, Ma'am," Claudia said, backing away. "Thank you, Ma'am."
Myka watched her curiously as she practically ran to the kitchen. This wasn't the first time someone had responded to her that way when she was annoyed with them, since her change. She must remember to ask Helena about it. It might be something to do with her vampire half.
Claudia returned about five minutes later, apologising for keeping Myka, and assuring her that she'd drunk one bottle of Tru Blood already, and was halfway through another. Myka looked at her for a long moment and then nodded, and she was sure she wasn't imagining the relief on the young vampire's face when she did. It was strange. But then, what wasn't, these days?
She headed home, confident that Claudia wasn't going to eat any of the town's people in a fit of pique, and found Helena's house filled with her family.
"Hey, Aunt Myka," David whispered in her head as she pulled up in the car. "Hey, buddy," she replied, sending him a wave of affection along with her words, and she headed inside to find Pete and Sameen in an intense car racing battle on the huge TV screen in the living room. She waved at everyone on her way past, heading straight to the kitchen where she could sense Helena's presence. Along with every other sense she possessed, that awareness of Helena had grown exponentially since her change into whatever the hell she was now.
Helena was stirring something in a pot on the stove, and Myka took a moment just to look at her. Her hair was unbound and she was wearing a white shirt with tan pants and knee-high leather boots. As always, Myka felt her heart warm within her at the sight. Part of it was her love for Helena, of course, but a lot of it was to do with their blood-bond, too. A bond that had doubled or perhaps tripled when Myka had imbibed so much of Christina's blood as she died. Christina had been Helena's child but also her vampire child, so their blood bond was something deeper than the normal bond between a vampire and their child. It was all so complicated that Myka couldn't keep it straight in her head.
Helena turned to smile at her, a predatory smile that made her shiver. No matter what else was happening, that thing – that unquantifiable thing between them – it hadn't changed.
"Good evening, my love," she said, her eyes wandering over Myka's body. Myka smiled.
"Hold that thought til a little later, honey," she said, in a mock-chiding tone. "We have family in the house."
"I shall pray that the King's workers finish your new home soon, then," Helena said dramatically. Myka grinned at her and, crossing the room, pulled Helena to her. She was surprised with how easy it was. If she'd tried to do that before her change, it would have been like trying to move a mountain.
"I missed you," Myka murmured, against Helena's lips.
"And I, you," Helena said, her customary response.
"You didn't even wake when I left," Myka said, with a fond smile.
"You may comment on the depth of my rest, darling, when the sun presses you into the ground as it does us mere vampires!" Helena retorted. Myka shrugged. It wasn't her fault she'd become some sort of hybrid being. She knew that Helena was envious of Myka's new abilities and strengths, but since Myka hadn't intended any of this, she refused to take responsibility for what she'd become. She already carried the responsibility of her father's death, Christina's death, Jeff Weaver's, and Claudia's transformation, along with the deaths of all the children Christina had killed since her arrival here. Myka simply refused to take responsibility for those things that weren't within her control. She'd been ready to die for David's sake and for Helena's sake. It was Helena's choice to kill Christina and that was hard enough for Myka to bear; to be the reason a mother killed her own daughter, no matter how monstrous, was a heavy burden to bear.
"Well, you looked cute, all cuddled up like a bear in the winter," Myka said lightly, kissing Helena gently on the temple.
"I did not," Helena said, huffing. She hated to be called cute.
"Sorry. You looked fierce like a bear ready to attack," Myka said, with a grin. "Is that better?"
"Somewhat," Helena allowed, with a raised eyebrow and a glare that could have turned the gods to stone. Myka just smiled.
They ate together with the rest of their little family, Pete and Amanda in attendance as always, and as it usually did, David's chatter soothed and quieted some of the concerns that Myka was carrying. At least here, at home with her family, she was loved and safe – if anywhere could be said to be safe.
Myka was washing the dishes, watching the grime and oil from the plates and cups and pans mixing with the washing liquid; it swirled around, strangely beautiful, rainbows painted on its surface. She wondered idly if that's what evil looked like; beautiful on the outside, like Christina, but rotten and maggoty and decayed at its heart.
"Myka?" A voice intruded into her thoughts, and she looked up to find Tracy looking at her in concern.
"I was calling you for, like, five minutes, sis. You doin' okay?" Tracy asked, picking up a dish towel to dry up some of the dishes. Myka didn't say anything for a few minutes, letting the dirty water drain away and refilling the sink with clean water and liquid.
"I'm processing," she said, eventually, and Tracy nodded.
"I get that. It's a lot to process. Everything has changed so much," Tracy said, looking off into space for a long moment. Myka realised after a second that it wasn't just her life that had changed, it was Tracy's, too. She had changed completely – she was a whole different species now, her son was a telepath, and she had lost her father, left her boyfriend and her home to move thousands of miles away.
"I'm sorry, Trace," Myka said, mentally kicking herself for not realising what Tracy was going through.
"No, Myka. Listen. I'm talking to Abigail, I'm getting used to all this. And honestly, despite all of the scary stuff that's happened, my life now is much better than the one I was living. I love Sameen so damn much, I can't even imagine my life without her. And David has a real family around him now. I didn't realise he had those abilities, but if I had, I would have taken him far, far away from Dad and from Kevin because god only knows what David heard, listening to their thoughts. But we're talking about you, now, Myka. Your life was already changing enough before I came into it. Falling in love with a woman who's a vampire? Then all this other stuff; us coming to live with you, the attacks, losing your home and then everything that's changed with you, physically, mentally? I can't even imagine how you're handling it half as well as you are," Tracy finished by putting her hand on Myka's arm, and with the touch came a wave of emotion that nearly knocked Myka over. Tracy was really concerned, and she really loved Myka; that was plain. Myka felt hot tears falling from her eyes, and when she saw the tinge of pink in the tear that landed on the plate she was washing, something inside her gave, tore open. She sank to her knees in the kitchen, Tracy's arms around her, and she cried her heart out for the home she had loved, that simple wooden building in which she had learned so much and loved so much in such a small space of time. She mourned for herself, for the woman she had been before all this death and destruction, for the human that she no longer was. Tracy held her gently, stroking her hair and repeating, over and over in her head and out loud, that Myka was loved. A minute or so later, David joined them, having heard Myka's mental distress. He kneeled behind Myka, reaching up to put his arms around her neck, and his emotions, his unwavering love, it knocked away the last barrier she'd put up, and she cried and let the pain go, released it so that it could heal instead of festering every time she looked at the plot of land on which her house had stood, every time she saw her skin glow in the dark, every time she saw Claudia look at her as if she was the devil incarnate. She let it go, and her family held her, let her cry, until she was so exhausted that Helena came and lifted her, effortless and graceful as always, and took her to bed.
She woke in the morning in what Helena had taken to calling their 'snug', because they could only snuggle together in there - the space originally having been intended for one occupant. Myka's body was entwined with Helena's, locked away from sound and light and other people. The lack of input to her senses was incredibly relaxing, and she often found that when she woke from sleeping here, she felt better than she did sleeping anywhere else. She allowed herself the indulgence of staying there for another ten minutes or so, enjoying the warmth of Helena's body and the silence of her mind. Myka made her way out carefully, lifting the heavy hatch as if it was nothing, looking down at Helena's sleeping form fondly before closing the hatch carefully and resetting all of the alarms and safeguards Helena had in place - including cutting off the air in case someone decided to set fire to Helena's house for some reason. It was unfortunate to have to think that way, but it was only sensible to plan for the worst, given the events of the last six months or so.
David was eating cereal at the breakfast bar in Helena's kitchen, half asleep, and he barely looked up when Myka arrived. Tracy was sitting in the window seat beside Sameen. They both smiled at Myka as she walked in, the expression looking odd on Sameen's face.
"How are you feeling this morning, sis?" Tracy asked, getting up and pouring her a cup of coffee without being asked. Myka smiled at her, a little awkwardly. She wasn't used to letting her emotions out in that sort of way, but the reminder of her otherness in the form of that tinge of blood in her tears – it had undone her control. It had been a while in coming, this breakdown of hers, she knew.
"I'm feeling better, thank you," she said carefully, and she reached out and touched Tracy's forearm gently, this time prepared for the rush of emotion, concern and love laced together. She squeezed her sister's arm lightly. "Thank you," she repeated, and this time she looked Tracy in the eye, and her sister nodded.
She was a little later to work than she would have preferred, but she didn't think anyone minded. Leena didn't bat an eye, simply approaching with a plate of breakfast foods and another coffee.
"Good morning, Sheriff," she said, quietly. She didn't leave, however, and Myka looked at her for a moment quizzically before indicating that Leena should sit down.
"What's going on, Leena? Is it Claudia?" Myka asked, before shovelling a pile of hash browns and scrambled eggs into her mouth in a manoeuvre that would have made Pete proud.
"I… I just wanted to say, thank you," Leena said, tentatively. It was unlike her; she didn't speak much, but when she did, it was with conviction.
"For what?" Myka asked quietly, after swallowing her food carefully.
"For Claudia. For saving her. For taking the blame for her change. For letting her hate you," Leena said, and Myka just nodded.
"MacPherson didn't give me much choice. It was either let Helena change Claudia, or let her die. And given that I'm dating a vamp, I didn't think it was a valid choice for me to say being a vampire was worse than death. I know Claudia probably thinks that, right now. And I'm sorry for that. But it is my fault she got pulled into this, Leena. She shouldn't have been involved at all – MacPherson chose her because he knew I cared for her." Myka stared at her food, which suddenly didn't look all that appetising, in the face of all of the guilt she carried. Leena reached over the desk and patted Myka's hand.
"Regardless of what you think, it's not your fault, Sheriff. MacPherson was the one who chose to hurt someone you cared about, and you did the best you could for her. She'll realise that soon enough," Leena said. Myka looked at her steadily for a long moment before nodding.
"I hope you're right, Leena. And thank you for all you're doing for her," Myka said. She realised the mistake in her wording almost right away, and Leena's blush should have reminded her to move her hand away, but she didn't do it in time and was bombarded with images of Leena and Claudia together, doing - well, everything Myka and Helena did in private, she figured. But she didn't need to see either Leena or Claudia like that. She put her face in her hands and concentrated furiously on her shields, her cheeks blazing with a mixture of embarrassment and spilled-over arousal from Leena. When she had re-established her shielding, she looked up and Leena was standing, looking panicked and as if she was trying to run in every direction at once. Myka couldn't help but laugh at the helpless look on Leena's face. After all of the negativity of the last months, a simple case of embarrassment was a relief. She and Leena only stopped laughing when Steve and Liam both came to check that they were okay because their laughter had grown hysterical.
The town was quiet and Myka allowed herself the afternoon off, telling Leena and the guys to contact her if anything serious came up. She went to the edge of town where there was a huge quarry, long since used up, but it had a pathway the whole way around. She took off her uniform shirt and hat and utility belt, locking everything up securely in the trunk of her car, before running around the quarry at full speed until she couldn't run anymore, her tank top soaked through with sweat. She could still sweat when she truly exerted herself. The trouble was, she couldn't really exert herself that much anymore, because everything physical came so easily to her. Hence the flat-out running in a remote spot where very few people ever came. If anyone had seen her, she wasn't sure how she would explain it. She wasn't a vampire; she wasn't a human. She was neither fish nor fowl and if a human caught sight of her otherness now, she might accidentally 'out' the whole supernatural community.
It was a while later when she headed home, and Tracy wasn't there, having gone to pick up David and take him to some sort of after school club. Pete was at the station and Amanda was off doing something for the were pack leader. It was just Sameen, or Shaw as she preferred to be called, sitting at the breakfast bar eating waffles. Myka couldn't think of a single time, other than the night she'd almost died, when she hadn't seen Sameen eating. Even that first night, she'd been eating a protein bar when she arrived in Myka's back yard and saw Tracy for the first time.
"Hey," Sameen said, by way of greeting, and Myka nodded at her. She put on a pot of coffee and sat next to Shaw, watching the coffee brew and bubble in the glass pot. It was relaxing. And being near Shaw was relaxing. Her thoughts were calm and she was never lingering in the past or the future. She was in the present, fully and completely, and compared to most humans, her mind was almost silent.
"Some change is good," Sameen said, after a few minutes of silence. "Like when I changed into a panther. I turned into – I became - what I always wanted to be, what I always knew I was. I was sick, when I was a kid. Little and skinny and I bruised easily. And then, when I hit puberty, I just got this rush, like power, like electricity. It was right here," she said, pressing her fingers into her sternum, and Myka nodded cautiously. "It burned and it tore the shit out of me. The first change – man, the hair. You don't realise, but it's like being pierced with needles from the inside out, a couple of million of them, and it burns. It burns like a motherfucker. And then your hips and your jaw and the fucking claws. Jesus. I thought I was dying. I thought I was melting or something. But when I stood up for the first time, when I hunted, when I felt the power of the body I had – it was like; this is the price. Change has a price, but it also gives you stuff. Like, I joined the Marines. I got to fight, to do what I felt like I was born to do. I got to be me, and it took me a long time to realise that. But change can be good."
She nodded at Myka, and Myka nodded back. It was definitely the most words she'd ever heard Sameen say at once. She thought perhaps it was the most Sameen had ever said in her life.
"Uh, thanks," Myka said awkwardly, and Sameen nodded again, avoiding her eyes, but she reached out and grasped Myka's forearm, and after a moment Myka grasped hers, in a sort of formal warrior handshake, or so it felt at that moment. She felt the lack of emotion in Shaw, but she also felt the huge strength that the woman held inside of her, and Myka was grateful for the "little shadowcat" and her presence in Myka's life and the lives of her family.
They drank coffee together in silence and, a little later, Sameen asked if she wanted to spar. Myka nodded. She still hadn't run off all of her energy. Fighting Shaw definitely took the rest of it, however. By the end of their sparring session, they were both bruised and battered. Myka had one broken finger and a fat lip, and Shaw had a spectacular and swollen black eye. They were both grinning, however. Myka's restless energy was definitely all used up, and later, as she sat in Helena's living room watching Game of Thrones with everyone (except David, who wasn't allowed to watch the 'gore and tit-fest,' as Pete called it) she drank whisky given from Sameen's private stash with the sense that she now belonged, in yet another way, to this little family, because her sort-of sister-in-law was now also a comrade-in-arms.
Helena remarked upon her injuries later that evening as they were getting ready for bed, but Myka just shrugged and smiled.
"Working out some kinks," was all she said, and Helena looked at her steadily for a moment before shrugging. She sat with her laptop, working on the next instalment of her space vampire series, and Myka pretended to read something else but she was really trying to read what Helena was typing.
"I can see what you're doing," Helena said.
Myka grinned.
"I can't help it, honey. I'm your number one fan," she said, and Helena rolled her eyes.
"Please. You haven't even read them, not really. I've never seen you with one of my books."
"You have no idea, Helena. I wore out two copies of each of those books in paperback. I have a couple of collector's editions in storage, but I hadn't got round to replacing and re-reading the paperbacks since I moved," Myka said.
Helena regarded her suspiciously over her glasses, and Myka had to resist the urge to giggle. The vampire looked so cute.
"Very well, then, number one fan," Helena said sarcastically. "Tell me what precipitated Elizabeth's move from DNA research to space travel."
Myka lifted an eyebrow. This was an easy one.
"She had already uncovered the gene that caused vampires to be vulnerable to UV radiation and discovered a cure, and her romance with the English professor had ended badly. She saw how the space programme was floundering because of lack of funding, and with vampires being now impervious to UV radiation as well as vacuum and lack of oxygen, she figured they were a cheap and easy way for humanity to travel into space. I can give you the names of the NASA officials she won over, the first vampire astronauts, and Elizabeth's children, if you like," Myka said smugly.
Helena stared at her.
"You really did read them? But you never even said – you just brushed it off, when I told you I'd written them," Helena said, her mouth open.
"What I said, my gorgeously insecure little vampire, was that I loved you so much, and then I made love to you until I passed out. I might not have gone into detail, but hell yeah, I read those books. My Dad hated them and refused to carry them in the shop. Even more of a reason for me to read them. And later, when vampires actually came out of the coffin, it all seemed like it was really possible, you know? So I read them all again, and honestly I have sort of been waiting for someone to announce that they'd cured you all of your UV problem," Myka said, pushing Helena's laptop out of the way and straddling Helena. She leaned down to kiss her vampire, but after a few minutes of what was fast becoming a precursor to energetic sexual activity, Helena pushed her away.
"No, Myka Bering. I am writing, and I will not allow you to interfere with my process again. I am, however, very impressed at your memory of my books, and I agree that you are probably my number one fan," Helena said sternly. Myka laugh-snorted.
"Why on earth are you laughing at that?" Helena asked, and Myka smothered a giggle.
"We have to get you reading some modern books," she said, before grabbing Helena's laptop and ordering her a copy of "Misery" to expand her literary horizons.
Myka dutifully went back to pretending to read and Helena resettled herself with her laptop and her glasses perched on the end of her nose. A few minutes later, however, the laptop was discarded with a growl and the sexual activity that Myka had been trying to initiate was back on. Myka distinctly heard Helena call her a 'minx' and a 'vixen' before she stopped listening, her mind on other things.
Her dream that night was vivid; colours and patterns swirled around everyone, as if their emotions and thoughts were leaving a trail behind them. Myka found herself standing in the back yard of Helena's house, soothing a baby boy who was teething. Samuel Peter Bering-Wells, her mind reminded her. She could hear David inside the house talking to his cousin, Christopher Bering-Wells, who was having an epic tantrum about his new Lego Star Wars toys.
It was easy for Helena, Myka mused to herself. She got all of the fun parts; she woke up, bathed the kids and put them to bed, but it was Myka that was Mom in daylight, Myka who occupied the kids during their waking hours. She wondered idly as she rocked little Sam how she'd been talked into this idea. She didn't regret the kids; not at all. But it didn't seem like a great idea, in retrospect. She felt like a single mother during the harder days. She knew that Helena was working hard on her DNA research, based on Myka's own DNA that was vampire and yet could withstand the sun. It was during the early stages of her research that she'd discovered something unusual in Myka's bloodwork, and after a consultation with Dr Calder and some of her old colleagues at the CDC, it became clear that although Myka wasn't fully vampire, she was fully immortal. Knowing that they could potentially be together for centuries, they had decided to have a family now, rather than waiting, in case Myka became unable to bear children at a later time. All of the doctors were confounded by her ability to bear children in the first place, since immortal beings like vampires couldn't usually bear children. Myka was powerless to explain it, but she went with it. Her children were, thus far at least, normal in every respect. There was still the chance that they might develop telepathy like Myka's, or perhaps even more unusual characteristics from their mother's vampire side, but nothing was certain. Especially when the 'father' was a shifter with no real knowledge about his own heritage.
Myka felt Helena awaken as the sun went down, and she sighed as she realised that Sam had just settled in time for his night-time Mom's arrival. Typical.
"Good evening, my love," Helena said, her customary greeting. Myka turned to look at her with a smile.
"Hey, honey," she said, leaning to kiss Helena, long and lingering, the sleeping baby between them. "I missed you," she said, afterwards.
"And I, you," Helena said, with a wry smile. She took Samuel from Myka's arms and brought him inside, picking up Christopher on the way, placing him effortlessly on her shoulders, the toddler giggling all the way.
"Hey, Aunt Mykes," David said, as they both stood watching Helena take the little ones upstairs. Myka felt a profound sense of contentment, knowing that her family were here, together, safe.
"This is real, you know," the kid said, and Myka nodded. "It's real if you let it be real. You'll see it all, soon, the future. Laid out in front of you, if you have the courage."
He didn't sound like David anymore, but Myka still trusted him, still believed him. She held his hand as she watched Helena run up and down the stairs, making Christopher jiggle around wildly. Whatever it took to get this, to get here, she wanted that. She wanted to feel like this, with a family and kids and Helena by her side, even if it was only in the dark. She didn't care what everyone thought about her, about them, a vampire and a half-breed having kids. This was real and it was meant to be, and it would be, if she had anything to do with it. Her sleeping mind drifted off into oblivion, not before she saw that David had transformed into an elderly, white haired gentleman in a white suit. Sheriff Myka Bering drifted off into the dark, content and loved.