Hey, here I am again ! sorry for the delay is kinda stressful in the moment.. so... yeah, okay it's not but I have to write a work for college and wll... just can't finish it... but enough -_-'

...and getting to you! Guys you are amazing! I didn't think I would get so much reply it's really cool and motivating :D

And I kinda just now realized that you can't answer reviews from not-users? Ehh... that's dumb... but anyway! (Or am I an Idiot?)

But, really you are awesome!

mi-chan

Justaway desu

i love okikagu

mitsuk

lu89

ShiroYASha (and yeah, I kinda know how quotation marks work, probably figured it out after primary school and all^^),

a special parfait for all of you! :D

...

Rules, wolfdemon's and the queen of the sukonbu-beetle tribe

Gintoki turns to Kagura and Soda-kun.

„Oi, oi, you brats, you sure you want to have this battle? You are against proper adults you know? We will crush you with R18 stuff, you should give up now."

Kagura turns as well grabbing Sougos hand.

„What are you talking about gramps? You sure you want to compete against our youthful love? Nobody wants to see old geezer's, you know? You are bound to loose."

„WTF? Who are you calling a geezer you damn brat! Who are you calling old, huh? Show some respect to the person who feeds you and change your diaper!"

„That was only once! I had a nightmare and you promised to never tell anybody! And when did you ever feed me? All I can remember is working my ass off and in return almost starving to death!

And you lying sugar demon! Did you ever looked in the mirror the last years? You already have white hair! Who do you want to fool, huh?"

„WHAT? Don't insult my awesome wavy hair! The color is the source of my power! You hear me? It has nothing to do with my age! It certainly has nothing to do with it! IT WAS THIS WAY THE DAY I WAS BORN!"

„Tch, old people are really noisy, getting worked up over trivial things so easily. Can't believe I let myself be fooled this whole time."

„No use swelling in the old days. I too was fooled in thinking he was my sadist and Dango friend, but now in the face of loosing he shows his true color."

„Sofa-kun~? Now I know why you where so generous! You were buying my friendship to check my daughter out, you lolicon. Don't you dare think I will overlook this! Anyway how come you can call yourself a police officer when in reality you're breaking the law by seducing an underaged child? Ne, Hijikata-kun~ what do you say about this inappropriate behavior of your subordinate?"

„Sougo, you're violating the 46 Kyokuchuu Hatto, Seppuku for you."

„EEH? That's foul play you damn Mayora! As if I let anybody seduce me! You're all fooled by my young appearance but in reality I'm far older than all of you!

Yes, in reality I am the queen of the sukonbu-beetle tribe (who can only live on sukonbu) who happens to transform into a human being, since her beetle heart broke due to an arranged marriage, while being in love with an underling, who than sacrificed himself for her and her country so that she can lead a happy live with her new fiancé."

She kneeled down and folded her hands in prayers, face lifted towards the sky.

„~Oh, no love of my live! How could you leave me? How could you be so selfish, didn't you know that I can never be happy in a world without you? Didn't I promised you to run away and live poorly with you in a rundown house in the woods? Even if we have nothing more than our clothes I would be satisfied cause you would be by my side!

Tears ran down my cheeks and the moon shines silently upon my cries in the night. I realized that I am all alone, that there is nowhere in this country I could go without remembering you.

~Oh My love! I want to follow you in the afterlife, but than your sacrifice would be in wane! So I will make an oath: I will never come back to this Planet, to this life! I will discard my title of princess and all my wealth and live in the streets while atoning for my sins!

Then there was a silver light and a gentle voice resound in the darkness:

~Oh my dear child! I listened to your pure and sorrow heart, and I couldn't help but stop your fall into despair! If you truly wish to start a new life and forget and leave everything you loved, than I can help you.

~Oh, lovely voice in the dark, I beg of you safe me from this cruel world! I will offer you anything!

~Oh, you poor girl. I don't need anything from you, your pure love is enough. Now bid you farewells, than until tomorrow you will be a human being in a faraway place, where nobody had ever heard of this race of sukonbu-beetles!

~Oh, I thank you so much, gentle voice in the dark! Goodbye my loved father, I cannot live without my love! I hope my dearest sister is enough to hold your grief! Goodbye my loved sister! Please be happy with my fiancé and lead the country to peace and content! And Goodbye my dear fiancé! I am so sorry that I couldn't love you like you loved me. I hope you will be happy with my sister!

A lonesome tear flows down her cheeks and her heart aches in sadness in this desert night.

And this is how I become the fearsome and beautiful, Yato tribe, Gintama heroine, and all loved Kagura. Thus I'm older than 20, therefore-"

„AS IF WE WOULD BELIEVE THAT!" They screamed.

„AND THAT WAS FAR TOO LONG! What the heck was with the huge background story? As if a gentle voice in the night could do something like that! Don't over judge the poor guy who happens to meet you in the night! Only because you can't see the face don't make him into a fairy, you hear! You can't overestimate him! You mustn't! It will kill him!

He will think: Oh, no what should I do, this handsome girl wants help and expects me to perform magic, but I am just a drunk men who had lost orientation in the woods!

He will say: Ah, I don't know what to do, but she thinks I can do something, so when I don't do something, she will be angry and sad and will cry and curse me for my life!

And then the guy will sacrifice his heart to the Wolfsdemon, to conform your expectation and will die just because you had prejudices to gentle voices in the night! How can you do this? How can you handle this weight of killing somebody off with your expectation, NA KAGURA?"

„HA? GIN-SAN! That is even more overestimated!

Why would the Wolfsdemon take his heart to help the girl? NO! In the first place, why would the gentle voice in the dark even know a Wolfsdemon? Is he in fact a Wolfsdemon-underling? Is that why he could get his help? Is that why he was drunk in the woods? Because he couldn't bear the responsibility of working for a demon? And in the end didn't the voice actually manage to help? Didn't the prejudice were right?"

„NO! PATSUAN! If the girl didn't have unreasonable opinions about him in the first place, he wouldn't have gone so far! He wouldn't have died!"

„NO! OI! Why are you questioning the wrong things? It should be: A SUKONBU-BEETLE PLANET DON'T EXIST! And even if, there is no way in hell that you could change from a beetle to a human just because a gentle voice in the dark likes your teary, very emotional -and in fact truly touching- story! There is just no way!"

„Eh, HIjikata-san you're crying."

„I'm not!"

„No, Ogoushi-kun as I said it wasn't the gentle voice! It was the nice Wolfsdemon who couldn't help but give his heart to transform her, by hearing this ridiculous totally cliché -but in fact very touching-story!"

„EH? Why did the Wolfsdemon has to be sacrificed too? And why always the heart! That doesn't make any sense! And why would the heart of the Wolfsdemon transform her into an human? If anything, it should transform her into an Wolfsdemon!"

„Oi, Patsuan, haven't you been watching the anime? Kagura IS a Wolfsdemon in disguise!"

„Damn right, Shinpachi! Of course even the cruel Wolfsdemon

would succumb to my natural beauty -even in my Sukonbu-beetle state- and give me his soul and eternal live!"

„Huh? What? Kagura-chan, nobody said anything about eternal life here!"

„What? It is only reasonable that he gave me his eternal life in addition to the transforming. Don't you know anything than your spectacles, Shinpachi?"

„We had already enough glasses joke in this episode! Stop it already! AND NO! Why would he give you eternal life? You just conveniently made this up because this idiots are arguing about the wrong points!"

„Whoa. Didn't know this guy you were forced to live with was such a jealous stick in the prick, my dear Wolfsdemon-princess-for-eternal-life-slave."

„HUH! Did you just insulted my royalty sadistic-my-knight-fo-eternity-slave?"

„Whatcha saying princess-slave? You are of course a Sukonbu-beetle princess with eternal life, but I am of course the secret King of Planet Sadomaso. I told you this huge secret after your confession about your past life, remember? That's one of the reasons we are so a perfect couple."

Sougo smiled.

Kagura treated him with her murderous aura, but he didn't budge.

Silence.

„…Well! I declare you both to a battle of who is the best couple, therefore gets more attention of the audience and gets the spin-off!"

She hastily turned to the two guys before them, completely dropping the topic.

„Alright."

Gintoki agrees immediately, before they would think of anything more dramatic and -worst case scenario- would loose the attention of the audience.

„I declare we make it in two rounds. FIRST."

Gintoki looked up under his bangs -for dramatic effect- with a unusual serious expression.

„Battle of Knowledge!"

Hijikata and Sougo froze.

The vice-commander panics immediately -of course only in the inside, never show a strand of weakness in front of the enemy!- and glances towards the unwavering stupid-natural-perm-head-stupi-stupid!-Yorozuya who just managed to corner them!

What the hell is he thinking? They will loose! They will certainly loose! He doesn't know a freaking thing about him! Except that he is a lazy, sugar addicted, quite astonishing fighter with a decent philosophy, idiotic, jobless, good-for-nothing! And the idiot certainly knows nothing about him! They are fucked!

The first devision captain panics immediately - of course only in the inside, not that he shows any sing of what he thinks in front of anybody -well except of his loved sister, obviously- it would damage his reputation heavily- because… a freaking quiz? Damn Danna and his fucking sadistic measures!

-well in fact he admires that about him, he mean he just managed to make anybody wholly freaking terrified with only a few words, and nobody can back out.-

Because he doesn't know a fucking thing about China, apart from that she is an walking, binge eating, surprisingly gorgeous and sometimes cute, hell of a warrior, idiotic, monstrous annoyance!

„SECOND!" The silver haired samurai smiles evil.

„A Battle of physical matching!"

The temperature suddenly drops more than ten degrees.

„Ah..haha..Y-y-y-yoruzuya d-d-o y-you really t-think that is n-necessary?" A dangerously forced smiled plastered on poor vice-commanders face. Gintoki spars him a quick glance and nods determined.

„O-of course Hijikata-kun! That is a essential part of a human relationship." His laugh sounded strange and he nudges him with his arm.

„D-don't be shy, Hijikata-kun~. Now that everybody knows it doesn't matter anymore, right? Right!?"

„Haha.. yes.. ahaha .. of course.. haha."

He catches his arm and pulled him closer so that only they could hear them.

„What are you doing you idiot! Do you want to get yourself killed?" panic can't be overheard in his voice.

„Relax, Ogoushi-kun. We will start with the first round so they have to start in the second. They will surely chicken out, cause seriously, Kagura will never let Sofa-kun near her, and that is our win! Alright? Just go along with it and don't mess up."

Hijikata nods reluctantly and they separate, announcing their first go in the round.

...tbc

So... what the fuck is Gintoki thinking? (well he has no choice.. I am the evil author ... but still.. Gintoki come on.. don't you learn from other fanfics? ^^)

Quick spoiler.. it will come to the second round... yes it will ;)

Also.. did you hate this prejudices too?

I was thinking about some stupid anime I was watching, where the moonlight spoke really romantically to some princess (actually I think It kinda happens a lot -_-') and I was like: You serious? Out of nowhere? Of course the fairy or Whatever you are was waiting his whole life to meet you and then sacrifice his live for you... sure... makes sense -.-

Yeah, I like to criticise.. I know it's a bad habit, but I just can't bother enough to fix it... ;P

ANYWAY!

Any impressions so far?

Does it feel still feel like Gintama? O.O

Can't make much promises when I will update again, because I am chaotic and will probably forget all promises I made...

but I will update, no worry's for that ;)

See you :)