Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns everything
Chapter 10
Bella's POV
I was dreaming.
I was in a boat in the middle of the ocean. It was rocking back and forth. Back and forth. Back and forth.
I woke up with shock and sat up suddenly. My hand covering my mouth. I ran out into the hall and straight into to the bathroom, I fell onto my knees and promptly threw up in the toilet. My head was pounding and my throat felt like it was on fire. Yeah that's what you get for drinking I thought to myself as I threw up again.
I tried to remember what had happened at the party. It was all a bit blurry. My heart hurt as I remembered Edward kissing Lauren but then I remembered Edward saving me from Mike and explaining what had happened and I felt better.
I got up from the floor and washed my face with some cold water that made me feel ten times better.
Suddenly I remembered Edward seeing me in my underwear and me practically begging him to sleep in the bed with me. I groaned my face flushing with embarrassment. What else had I done?
I hadn't failed to notice that he certainly wasn't in the bed with me when I woke up.
Edward's POV
I felt like shit.
After Bella had said she loved me I waited for a few moments and then got up and went to my room. I couldn't be so close to her I knew that if I was I would never want to leave.
I sat on my bed knowing there was no way that I was going to sleep. Which for me would usually have been a good thing; if I didn't sleep there would be no nightmares. But not sleeping meant I had to think about what had just happened.
Although I tried everything I could to push away the feeling, I couldn't help it that my heart filled with joy at the thought of what Bella had said; she loved me. It took all I had not to go and tell her the same thing.
I lay back on my bed my hands covering my face. She couldn't love me I thought to myself, as much as I didn't want it to be true I knew that she didn't know me. She didn't know the darkness lurking inside of me. She could never know the real me. She was sweet and pure and good, things I would never be, and someone like her would surely run if she knew the truth. And I wouldn't blame her if she did.
I couldn't taint her with my darkness; I loved her too much for that.
Bella's POV
I slept for the rest of the night and well into the next day. I was shaken awake by Alice at around noon. She apologised for staying at Jasper's and asked how things went with Edward. I skipped over the details and just told her I wasn't sure yet. She seemed disappointed. She drove me home and chatted non stop about gossip from the party but I barely listened I was still embarrassed by many things that had happened the night before and was sure I had blown what little chance I had with Edward.
On Monday my fear was confirmed Edward avoided me the whole day. I tried to say hello before history class but he barely even looked at me and he certainly didn't sit next to me. He went and sat next to some random guy who I had never seen him speak to before. I slumped down in my seat fighting back tears as I tried to remember what I could possibly have done to make him act like this.
I walked out of class in a daze and very gracefully ran straight into the doorframe. I gasped and dropped all my books on the floor. I bent down to pick them up but there was already someone there picking them up for me. I looked down at his bronze head and my heart began to beat faster.
He stood up and placed the books in my hands looking at the floor the whole time.
"Thanks" I whispered softly.
He nodded and turned to go.
I grabbed his arm "Wait" I said frantically. He turned back around but still didn't look at me.
"Wh…Are you ok? Did I do something to upset you?"
"No" he says looking like he's searching for something to say "It's just….I think its better we weren't friends"
"Why" I asked hurt.
"Some of the stuff you said the other night….I think that maybe…you care more about…me then I do for you"
I felt like I'd been punched in the stomach. "What did I say?"
"You don't remember?"
"No. I was drunk I probably didn't even mean it" I lied I'm sure I meant every word.
Something I didn't understand flashed in his eyes "Either way I think its best" he said and turned around quickly and left the room.
I stood there for a moment until my tears started to slowly fall.
Edward's POV
I avoided Bella. I sat in a different seat in history so I wouldn't have to be near her and remember just how good she smelled and how soft her skin was.
As she was walking out of the room she dropped her books and I knew I couldn't just walk past her. I bent to pick them up and placed them back in her arms all the while not looking at her face. I stared at the floor.
"Thanks" She whispered.
I nodded quickly and turned to leave.
She grabbed my arm and I felt her tiny warm hands on my skin. It felt better then I remembered.
"Wait" she said. I turned back.
"Wh…Are you ok? Did I do something to upset you?" she sounded flustered.
"No" I said having no idea what to say. "It's just….I think its better we weren't friends"
"Why" I heard the pain in her voice and I hated myself even more.
"Some of the stuff you said the other night….I think that maybe…you care more about…me then I do for you" I lied.
"What did I say?" I didn't expect that. She had been drunk but I hadn't even thought of the possibility that she wouldn't remember.
"You don't remember?"
"No. I was drunk I probably didn't even mean it"
Of course she didn't mean it I thought and where I should have felt relief I only felt pain. "Either way I think its best" I said and quickly left the room.
Bella's POV
I walked to my car tears still running down my face I looked at the ground so no one could see. But someone like me should always be looking where there going because of course I ran into someone.
Luckily it was Alice so it wasn't too embarrassing.
"Bella" she laughed in surprise but then she saw my face and all humour vanished from her face "What's wrong"
"N…Nothing" I said quietly.
"Bella of course something's wrong. You know you can tell me" she said gently pulling me into a hug.
I sobbed into her shoulder "Ed…Edward said he didn't want to be my friend and that he didn't care about me"
"He said what?" she screeched. "No that's not possible. I'm positive he likes you. I've seen his face when he talks about you"
I shrugged and wiped away the tears from my eyes "That's what he said"
She looked angry.
"Don't say anything ok Alice"
"But…"
"Promise me" I said sternly
"Ok I promise" she said reluctantly
AN: Sorry so short. i'll hopefully post another chapter tomorrow. Please review!!