Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns everything.

Chapter 14

Bella's POV

The next morning I woke up to the most amazing sight, Edward's beautiful face. He lay next to me as though he had been watching me sleep. Although I had to admit it was a bit disconcerting to wake up to someone staring at you so intently. I pushed his arm lightly.

"Whatcha doing creepy" I mumbled "Watching me sleep?"

He smiled slightly and nodded, his eyes never leaving mine. I shifted over and wrapped my arms around him, taking in his beautiful smell. I sighed quietly I could most definitely get used to this.

He rubbed my back and buried his face in my hair.

"We have to get ready for school soon" he whispered.

I groaned "Nooo I want to stay here"

He chuckled quietly "I do to, but we have to go they might ring your dad"

I pulled back and looked at his face. He looked tired and there were black circles under his eyes. I reached my hand out and traced them with my finger.

"Couldn't you sleep?" I asked in concern.

He looked away and shook his head slightly.

"Why?" I asked confused. He shrugged his shoulders.

"I'm fine"

I could tell he wasn't telling me everything but I decided not to push it.

Edward's POV

I spent the night, after Bella had comforted me, just watching her sleep; it was surprisingly easy not to fall asleep as I didn't want to miss a thing. She slept peacefully for a couple of hours but I could tell when she started to dream. Her eyelids would flutter slightly and she would mumble. My heart swelled when I heard her mumble my name.

Early in the morning she awoke and I could tell she was concerned about my lack of sleep but I was thankful when she let it go. Last night she had told me she wouldn't push me to tell her about my past but she seemed confident I would when I was ready. I didn't tell her that I doubted that day would come.

Bella's POV

The next couple of weeks were bliss. Edward and I spent nearly all of our time together. The biggest surprise to me came a couple of days after we were officially together. He began to sit with us at lunch. At first I wanted to sit with him alone but he said he didn't want me to miss sitting with Alice and the others so he came and sat with us. At first it was awkward especially between Emmett and Edward but Alice as always got everyone talking and everyday it got easier and more comfortable. Edward didn't speak much he mostly just held my hand and whispered to me quietly but it was nice to see him interacting with his siblings and Jasper and Rosalie.

I often stayed the night with him. I told my dad I was sleeping over at Alice's and he didn't suspect anything. Alice was very suspicious of what Edward and I got up to during our nights together but they were mostly always innocent.

I wanted to go further. I made sure to wear my best underwear hoping Edward would also be ready. When I arrived he got this crooked, breathtaking smile on his face and I wondered not for the first time what it was about me that evoked this emotion in him. I rarely saw him display any emotion towards anything but with me it was written plainly on his face.

He pulled me into his arms and kissed me on my forehead.

"I missed you" he whispered softly.

I laughed quietly, not wanting to wake his parents, as I wasn't to sure how they would react to me sleeping in their sons room. "You saw me a couple of hours ago"

"I know" he replied rubbing my back "it was to long"

I smiled into his chest "I missed you too"

He put a finger under my chin and raised my face to meet his. He placed his lips on mine and kissed me softly. I pulled him further towards me, kissing him harder and tangling my fingers into his silky hair. He kissed me back just as hard and walked forward until my knees hit the bed and I fell bringing him on top of me.

We kissed passionately his hands rubbing my sides gently. He never went further than this and tonight I wanted to change that. I grabbed his hand gently and placed it under my shirt. He froze for a moment but then rubbed smooth circles on my stomach gradually moving higher and higher. I moaned softly and I felt him smile under my lips. I could feel something hard pressing into my leg and I felt a warm tingling feeling in my stomach. His hand brushed the edge of my bra and his hands began to move back down to my stomach. I placed my hand back over his and brought it back up until it was resting on my breast. His hand froze once again and he pulled away. I looked up into his face and noticed it was slightly pink.

"B…Bella" he stumbled "are you sure?" I nodded and pulled his face back to mine. I felt his hand move over my breast kneading it softly through my bra. I moaned again. I reached down and pulled my shirt over my head and than I brought my hands behind my back and pulled off my bra. Edward pulled away and looked at me in what looked like awe.

"Bella…your so beautiful" I blushed slightly as he lowered his mouth to kiss my breasts moaning as he did. I arched my back enjoying the feeling of his mouth on me.

I could feel him becoming even harder against my leg so I reached down slowly and began rubbing him through his pants. He froze on top of me his mouth leaving my chest. I rubbed him a bit more and he stayed frozen. I slowly removed my hand and pulled his face up so I could see it.

"Edward what…?" I started to say but I was at a loss of words when I saw his face. He looked terrified.

"Are you ok? I'm sorry if…" I started to say. Did he not want me to touch him there? Was I doing something wrong?

"No…I'm just…not ready" he mumbled softly rolling off me. I felt tears prickling my eyes. He must have seen them because he pulled me towards him and hugged me tightly.

"Did I do something wrong?" I asked tearfully

"No…God no…its me I just don't think I'm ready"

I nodded slightly.

He held my face between his hands "Don't be sad please Bella" he sounded miserable.

I nodded slightly and kissed him.

I took his word for it that he was not ready and inside I knew I didn't want to read too much into this.

Edward's POV

Bella was staying the night with me. Whenever she stayed the night I found myself barely able to contain my excitement and happiness. She walked into my room as always looking like an angel. I smiled at her and she smiled her amazing smile back. I knew I wanted to see that smile for the rest of my life.

I had to touch her, so I pulled her into my arms and kissed her forehead.

"I missed you" I whispered

She laughed her beautiful laugh. "You saw me a couple of hours ago"

Yeah and to me they felt like years

"I know" I replied rubbing her back "it was to long" way too long

"I missed you too" she replied and I smiled

I raised her face to mine and did what I had been dying to do since she arrived. I pulled her in for a kiss which she responded to immediately. I walked us forward so that she fell onto the bed with me on top.

We kissed for awhile and I rubbed her sides. I didn't think there would be ever a better feeling than kissing Bella. To my surprise she grabbed my hand and placed it under her shirt I stopped in shock as I felt her silky, perfect skin. I rubbed circles into her flat stomach slowly moving them higher. I felt her moan and it was the sweetest sound in the world. When my fingers brushed against her bra I moved my hand back down not wanting to go too far. But again to my surprise Bella placed my hand on her breast. I was shocked pulling my hand away. I felt my face flush slightly.

"B…Bella" he stuttered "are you sure?"

She nodded and pulled my face back to hers. I touched her breasts, my breathing becoming deeper and a certain part of my body becoming harder. I knead it gently through her bra. I heard her moan and all I wanted to do was make her do it again.

Bella reached down and pulled her shirt over her head and before I knew it she was pulling off her bra freeing her breasts. I pulled back to get a better view. She was so beautiful, everything about her was perfect.

"Bella…you're so beautiful" I said and saw that she blushed a little. I smiled and lowered my mouth to her breasts and began kissing them. I let out a small moan as she arched her back giving me better access.

I felt her reach down and begin rubbing me through my pants. I froze as I felt my hear rate increase and my palms begin to sweat. I couldn't move flashes of memories flashed in my mind "Edward you'll like it", "Doesn't it feel good". I felt her rub me more and I couldn't move not even to tell her to stop. I felt her remove her hand and pull my face up to see hers. She looked concerned and I tried to change my expression because I knew I must look scared.

"Edward what…?" she started to say and I knew she had seen my face when she stopped.

Are you ok? I'm sorry if…" she started. She looked scared as though she had done something wrong I felt ashamed that I had made her think that. This was not her fault.

"No…I'm just…not ready" I mumbled rolling off her. I saw tears in her eyes and I felt more self-loathing I pulled her towards me wanting to make her feel better.

"Did I do something wrong?" she asked her voice cracking

"No…God no…its me I just don't think I'm ready" I said

She nodded. But I couldn't tell if she believed me.

I pulled her face into my hands "Don't be sad please Bella" I couldn't bare it.

She nodded again and I knew I was forgiven when she kissed me.

That night as she slept in my arms I felt anger and loathing at myself. I couldn't even cope with my girlfriend touching me. I was broken and I didn't know what it would take for me to heal.

AN: Please review!!

I will try to update soon. Thanks to everyone who has review this story i really appreciate it.