Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns everything.

Chapter 18

Bella's POV

I lay there stunned. Edward pulled himself above me to look at my face.

"Bella?" he asked searching my face.

"Edward…I'm not sure….I" I stuttered. I saw his face fall slightly.

"I mean I want to…but… are you sure you're ready?" I asked sceptically

He nodded slowly

I didn't know if it was the right thing to do but I needed to see if he was really ready. I reached down to touch him softly through his jeans and he immediately flinched away.

"See Edward your not…" I stopped when he pulled himself off me and buried his face in the pillow.

"I'm sorry" I whispered softly into his ear.

He turned around to face me again his face full of shame.

He kept his eyes closed and whispered so softly I had to lean in to hear him properly.

"I just…I just want to be as close as I can to you…I need to"

I felt my eyes tear up at his words.

"I know" I replied softly and wrapped my arms around him. It was true I knew exactly how it felt, to want to be as close to him as possible. For me to be close to Edward wasn't just anything it was kind of everything. "I feel the same but…not until your ready ok?"

I felt him nod his head against my chest.

We couldn't do this until we were both completely ready and I didn't know how long that would be but, for Edward, I would wait a lifetime.

One year later

Bella's POV

Edward had been going to therapy for the past year, ever since his talk with his parents. Although initially he was dead set against going, after a couple of sessions we could all see how they had benefitted him. His nightmares were beginning to cease and he was more open with both me and his family. He still occasionally had nightmares but he would always talk to me about it and discuss his fears.

The things he told me about his childhood and his grandfather scared the shit out of me and made me want to bring his grandfather back to life just so I could kill him myself. But I had to stay strong for both our sakes.

I fell more and more in love with this angel every day I spent with him. He and I fitted together perfectly and I knew in my heart that nothing could ever come between us and the love we shared.

Graduation was nearing and high school would officially be over. I felt mixed emotions about it ending. I knew that I would never see some of the people I saw everyday at school, ever again, and I felt sad but I had Edward and he was all I would ever need.

Edward, Alice, Jasper and I had all been accepted at the same college and would be attending together. The college also happened to be the same one that Emmett and Rosalie had been attending for the past year.

Things had worked out perfectly.

On the day of our graduation I was nervous for two reasons. The first that I would trip on the way to collect my diploma, something that I don't think anyone would be surprised to see me do, the second being that tonight was the night.

After a year of therapy, many tears and a lot of healing Edward and I were finally ready.

As I was fixing my graduation gown Charlie walked into my room.

He looked at me for a moment his face filled with emotion "You look beautiful Bells, you're all grown up" his voice cracked a bit with emotion that I rarely heard from him. It made my eyes fill with tears.

"Thanks Dad" I said and wrapped my arms around him. He hugged me tightly and kissed the top of my head.

"But you'll always be my little girl" he whispered softly.

I nodded the tears falling freely now "I know"

"Jessica Stanley"

I watched Jessica walk across the stage and I stood waiting for my name to be called. My heart was pounding, I was silently freaking out and my mind was considering every possible embarrassing scenario that could possibly occur. The number one was tripping while I was shaking the principals hand, bringing him down with him and my gown riding up to reveal my underwear to the whole audience.

"Isabella Swan"

I walked across the stage. Why is that when you have to walk in front of large crowd of people you suddenly forget how to walk correctly? I was suddenly very aware of the way my arms swung as I moved and how long my strides were. Thankfully after what seemed like two years I reached the principal, shook his hand and received my diploma. As I walked to my place in the line I caught Edward's eye. He smiled sweetly and winked, I could tell he was happy. These days Edward was almost always happy and this happiness made him even more beautiful.

He mouthed "Well done" and I knew he was referring to my not tripping. I had shared my fear with him that morning and he had teased me about it all day.

I stuck my tongue out at him and I saw his shoulders shake slightly at his silent laughter. I smiled and looked out into the crowd where I could see Charlie beaming back at me. He was sitting with Renee and Phil who had flown down for the day. I could also see Carlisle and Esme practically bursting with pride as they looked at Alice and Edward. Emmett and Rosalie had also made a trip to share in the celebrations.

Once we were off the stage everyone rushed forward to congratulate us. I was pulled into my mothers embrace and she gushed about how proud of me she was. After I was hugged and congratulated by everyone I looked around for Edward and when I found him he picked me up and swung me around in the air.

I squealed like a little girl and he laughed. He put me down on the ground and kissed me firmly.

"Where free!" he said dramatically.

I laughed "Finally" after four years of high school it was finally over.

We saw Emmett rush up to us and he pulled us both into a bone crushing hug.

"Party time" he yelled loudly almost bursting my eardrum.

Alice, of course, had planned an over the top graduation party. That girl never did anything half way; she had decorated the whole house and had enough food to feed a small country.

Edward and I stayed for a couple of hours but then we retreated to his bedroom. As we walked into his room I began to feel awkward and nervous, something which I never felt around Edward anymore.

He seemed to feel my unease as he placed a hand under my chin to make me look at him.

"Bella" he said softly his sweet breath blowing on my face "Are you okay?"

I nodded slightly averting my eyes.

"Bellaaa"

I sighed "I'm just…nervous I guess…I mean what if I'm not…good or what if…"

He interrupted me "Don't be silly it's not like I know what to do either…we'll just…learn together"

I relax slightly and smile at him. He looks at me his eyes deep and intense and he leans forward capturing my lips in his. I melt into him bringing myself even closer.

He walks us backwards until we reach his bed and we fall onto it out lips still together. His hands move up and down my sides slowly creeping slowly up my shirt, It feels so good and I can't help but to moan softly and I feel him smile against my lips.

"I like that sound" he whispers into my ear. I make the sound again and giggle as I feel him getting harder against my leg.

His hands pull my shirt over my head and I begin to unbutton his. As I get it open and off him he begins to pull off my bra and my breasts fall free. He immediately begins to kiss them and I moan again. I can tell that he is smirking so I roll us over so that I'm on top.

I start to kiss his neck and work my way down to his chest. I nip at the skin on his chest and I hear him make the most adorable, soft moaning sound and I feel as though I'm going to explode.

He rolls us back over again and begins to fumble with the button on my jeans, once he gets it open he slowly begins to pull them off me. He is going much to slow for my liking.

"Edward" I said impatiently.

"What?" he said a mischievous glint in his eye.

"Hurry up"

He laughs quietly and keeps pulling them off just as slowly.

"Edward" I whine and begin to kick my legs to make the process quicker. He laughs again but pulls them off and lies back down on top of me.

"Thank you"

He smiles and starts kissing me again.

I reach down and pull at his jeans but I can't open the button. He pulls away and begins to do it himself until he is in just his boxers.

He kisses my breast again and kneads them with his hands. He kisses down my stomach until he reaches my underwear where he places a soft kiss on my damp centre. I gasp slightly and feel myself get wetter.

He pulls my panties down and slides them down my legs. I start to feel nervous as he openly stares at me.

He looks up at me "You're so beautiful". I smile back and reach down to pull his boxers off.

I do it slowly and when I finally remove them I look down at him. I reach out tentatively and touch him gently. I look at Edward cautiously and hear him gasp, not from fear like last time but from pleasure. In that moment I knew that he had finally put some of his fears behind him.

Edward takes my hand and we fall back onto the bed "Are you ready" he whispers softly.

I nod and he reaches for a condom. When he is finished he positions himself between my legs.

"I love you" he whispers softly his forehead against mine.

"I love you to" I whisper back.

He kisses me hard as he slips gently into me and for a moment I feel pain. I gasp and I feel my eyes fill with tears.

"Are you okay?" he asks sounding worried.

I nod "Yes just…wait a second"

He stays completely still as I get used to him inside me. Once the pain goes away I nod at him to continue and he starts to rock gently back and forth. Now that the pain has gone I begin to feel the friction and waves of pleasure.

He thrusts in and out and I push my hips up to meet his thrusts. I hear him gasp and feel him start to shake as he comes. He collapses onto me his body shaking and I can feel his whole weight on me and it feels good.

He stays in me for a moment and then he slowly pulls out and rolls over hugging me to him tightly. I feel a loss as he pulls out. The feeling of he and I joined together was better than anything in the world. We lay in silence both of us panting softly.

He stares into my eyes and I can see how much he loves me and I hope that he can see in my eyes just how much I love him to.

AN: Review please!!!

The next chapter will be the epilogue of the story. I hope everyone enjoyed this chapter and thank you to everyone who has reviewed.