I had so much fun writing this! It always makes me smile when I imagine the Doctor's excitement over the simplest of things :)
There won't be smut in every chapter. I think I would get way too repetitive then...
Rose leaned back into the couch, watching TV and eating popcorn. She expected to have one of those nice and quiet evenings, which were quite rare at the moment. The Doctor dashed out of their apartment two hours ago with the words "Gotta go. Don't ask. See you later, Darling!", wearing this naughty grin on his face, she loved so much. It also meant that he was up to something extremely stupid, which surely would get him into trouble.
The statistic, Rose compiled, stated that she would have three more hours until the Doctor needed saving. More than enough time for her chick flick and a hot bath, yay!
The phone rang and Rose groaned. So much for statistics...
Grumpily she picked it up. "Rose Tyler speaking. Whoever you are, if it's about my better half: please don't kill or torture him for the next few hours and keep him busy. It has been ages since I last saw 'sleepless in Seattle' and-"
"Um, Rose? This is Pete..."
Rose cursed under her breath. "Sorry, Dad! I thought you were... uh, someone else."
"Apparently." He coughed. "But this actually is about the Doctor."
She sighed. "What did he do this time? He didn't try to free the penguins from the zoo again, did he? I told him that Torchwood checked them three times over... Nothing alien at all about them."
"Yes, I know. And no, he didn't. Though the tabloids sure love what he did this time... and I don't know if I should laugh or cry."
"Okay, now you are scaring me... What did I miss?"
"Change the channel to BBC News and you will see."
Rose obeyed and needed a few seconds to understand what she saw. "Oh. My. God."
The screen showed a football field. Numerous people ran around on it, trying to catch someone who had undeniable a lot of practise in running away. Apparently, the Doctor decided to do number 13 of the list today...
The picture changed back to the news reporter. "The streaker, who flashed the audience in the Wembley Stadium approximately an hour ago, is no other than John Smith, fiancé of Vitex heiress Rose Tyler and self-proclaimed troublemaker of London. This was, by far, not the only strange adventure of Mr Smith. No one will ever be able to forget the attempted kidnapping of London's penguins, his try to convince our president to paint every telephone box blue or his doomed to failure attempted banana theft." The screen showed a picture of the Doctor in the left corner. He wore a normal suit of his, pockets and trouser waistband crammed with bananas.
"John Smith has been arrested for indecent behaviour and is currently in the police headquarters for questioning. And now the weather..."
Rose turned the TV off and stared into space. "Rose? Are you still there?" Oh, she totally forgot about the parallel version of her father.
"Yeah, sorry. You were saying?"
"I'm trying to get rid of those annoying tabloid reporters. Could you go and fetch the Doctor? I already spoke to the police superintendent. You should be able to get him out for a small bail."
Rose snorted. A 'small bail' for Pete was a small fortune for her. "Can't we let him spend a few hours in prison? My film..."
"Rose, you know him even better than I do. What would he do if a reporter manages to reach him and asks why he thought running around naked in front of thousands of people would be a good idea?"
She sighed. He would tell the utterly truth, which was far worse than the most obvious explanation: he was plain and simple bonkers. "Alright, already. I'm on my way."
Half an hour later, she reached the police building. Rose asked for the Doctor and noticing the pitying and curious looks, the police officers were giving her, she was led into a tiny room. The Doctor's blue suit hang over a chair. Considering the huge pile of 'trash' ('treasures', the Doctor would call them), the two frustrated looking officers had the task to empty the pockets. One of them arched an eyebrow when he pulled a long baseball bat out of the tiny pocket of the Doctor's jacket.
Officer Morgan (the one who led Rose into the room) stared, turned to her and asked, "I assume, you don't have a good explanation either how this is physically even possible, Miss Tyler? Your fiancé always says dimensional something something when we ask him."
Rose fought the urge to slap her forehead. She would have to call Torchwood later. There were a lot of people who had to be retconned... "Nope, a little strange that. Can I please get my future husband now? There is a film I..." She paused for a while. "Wait a sec, how did you even get his clothes? I thought he was naked..."
"Not from the start. He stripped while he ran. Quite a sight that was." Morgan grinned. "He nearly fell over his trousers."
Rose groaned. "Get John, now. Pleeeease...film."
The officer laughed and spoke into his walkie-talkie. "Get the loony, Jackson."
"Oi, he isn't a loony!"
Morgan shook his head in disbelief. "If you had said that before the banana thing, I may have believed you..."
A few minutes later, the Doctor entered with a very annoyed looking policeman in tow. When he saw her, he got this special grin on his face, that always reminded her of a happy puppy wiggling its tail. She smiled back and wondered, not for the first time, why she was unable to stay angry with him.
The Doctor walked over to her, an obvious bounce in his step. "Rose! Rose! They said I flashed them! Without a camera! Isn't that great?!" He brimmed over with enthusiasm for this whole (in his opinion) very human situation and looked so adorable in his orange overall that she had to fight the urge to grab and snog him senseless right there and then.
She gathered her last remaining self-restraint, settled for a tight hug and an "Awww! That's why I love you so much!"
Rose swore she could see one of the officers mouthing the word 'nutters' after they gathered the Doctor's things... and with that they were on their way out.
On the way to their car, Rose came to the conclusion, it was time for a serious talk about humanity. "Doctor... you know, this whole list... it's all fun and all but it's not an instruction to being human. In fact, I think nearly no one did everything on the list. Especially not the whole 'being-naked-in-front-of-thousands-of-people-thing'. That's something only very few would do."
The Doctor laughed and took her hand in his. "I know. Believe me, I do. But do you know what?" His grin widened and she saw his eyes twinkle with excitement. "I'm one of them! Isn't that absolutely fantastic?"
And this little, very familiar word was her downfall. Her self-restrained crumbled and she pushed the Doctor against the nearest wall, pressing her lips to his. The Doctor's arms automatically encircled her waist and like so many times before, his tongue graced her lips, begging for entrance. Her lips parted and their tongues began a silent battle, interrupted only by occasional moans of both of them. Their hands wandered under their clothes, reaching for every last bit of skin they could reach.
"Mummy, what are they doing?"
The Doctor and Rose stopped their battle and looked sideways, shocked at the unusual interruption.
A little boy, four or five years old, stood before them and gaped with big, wide eyes. His mother, obviously outraged by this display of indecent behaviour, glared at them and then turned back to her son. "Nothing, honey. They are just playing."
Understanding grow on the boy's face. "Ah, like Daddy. He always plays with Julie's mum when you are working."
The woman turned beet red and grabbed her son and vanished faster than a Slitheen taking a bath in vinegar. After they couldn't see them any more, the Doctor and Rose looked at each other and burst out laughing, holding on to each other for support.
Rose wiped the tears out of her eyes and gave the Doctor her best bedroom eyes. "I would love to play some more with you, Doctor." She lay a hand on his chest, over his one heart and smiled when she felt his fast heartbeat. "Let's drive home and do my favourite activity."
The Doctor returned her gaze. "And what, Rose Tyler, may that be?"
Rose's tongue appeared between her teeth. "Well, we are both going to be naked... but I can promise you one thing." She leaned forward to whisper into his ear and the Doctor shuddered at her warm breath on his skin. "It's not on the list."
After a night of mind blowing sex, Rose awoke with a start, sat upright on their bed and groaned. "My film!"