Hey there!

Since mysterypoet66 pointed out that I have some trouble with tenses: My first language isn't English so it happens from time to time that I mess things up. Please tell me, when you notice anything like that, since otherwise I don't realise it and make the same mistakes all over again. I'm always happy about constructive critic so please don't be afraid to tell me :)

So thanks to mysterypoet66 for pointing it out!

Now, on with Number 5...

"Doctor Smith! Doctor Smith!" Rose's personal assistant said, while rushing into his office. The poor woman looked like she ran a marathon. "Miss Tyler sent me! She said it is an emergency and you have to go to her office right now!"

He beamed at her, grabbed something out of his desk, ran out of his office and down the long corridor. The assistant dropped into a chair and received thankfully a glass of water from Dr Smith's secretary.

"Those two are really meant for each other... Can't say I know anyone else who is that happy about trouble."

The Doctor came to a screeching halt in front of Rose's office, took off his tie and mussed up his hair just the way she liked it. Then he casually opened the door and entered.

Rose sat on her desk, his sonic screwdriver in her hand and tongue between her teeth. "Hurry up! Close the door and get naked!"

She didn't have to tell him twice. He closed the door and got hurriedly out of his clothes, nearly falling down in the process. They were trying for weeks now to get pregnant and Rose received his screwdriver to check her body. Whenever the time was right, they slept with each other but until now... it was all in vain. Well, if you can call a pretty healthy and extensive sex life that.

The Doctor beamed at her when she spread her legs and confirmed his suspicion: no panties!

"You ready then?" he asked, grinning widely.

"Oh, yes!"

And they practised...

Owen Harper sighed while he listened to the grunts, groans and moans out of Rose Tyler's office. That 'Doctor' had to be the luckiest person on Earth... He had a beautiful fiancée, was being paid for playing around with alien artefacts (at least he, the Doctor, claimed it was playing for him... for Owen it looked like a mixture of the most complicated maths, engineering and all sorts of sciences, he didn't even know half the names of...), was to marry in one of the wealthiest families on Earth, and could shag the boss' daughter as often as he liked since they were trying for a baby.

Owen was of course the only one at work who knew about that... he had the task to make sure that Miss Tyler got pregnant in the next three months (and not the way he would usually prefer to get a woman pregnant... that was obviously the Doctor's job) or else... well, Pete Tyler wasn't very specific about that, but he said Owen would meet his greatest nightmare... Normally, he would think about things like getting fired, degraded or even retconned, but since Mr Tyler eyed his wife's picture, while he talked, Owen suspected something else.

"Oh, Doctor!" Yup, couldn't be long now...

5

4

3

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1

"Rose!"

Owen wondered briefly if it was unhealthy to know that much about a couple's sex life without being sexually involved, but dismissed the thought when he heard the rustling of clothes. Job was job after all.

He straightened his clothes and tried to look like the professional Doctor, he was supposed to be, but his smug grin made his attempts more than vain.

Rose Tyler opened the door and shrieked when she nearly ran into him. "For God's sake, Owen! Are you spying on us?"

"Only doing my job ma'am," he answered and winked at the Doctor, who tried to get his hair in order again and grinned in return.

Rose thought, this had to be one of those wordless man-conversations, her mother told her about.

"May I ask you to go with me to the laboratory, Miss Tyler? Mr Tyler ordered a few tests..."

She groaned. "Again? I thought everything was alright? You said his body is 100 percent human and we are both healthy..."

"Yeah, but I found a slight hormonal difference. We just want to assure that-"

"-you or my dad don't get their asses kicked by my mother... yeah, I know." Rose turned to the Doctor. "Can you do me a favour and call Jake? He said something about an alien sighting... maybe you can help? This might take a while..."

"'Course I can, honey." He furrowed his brow for a second. "Honey? That's an endearment, right? Very human..." The Doctor beamed at her. "I'm settling in! Isn't that brill-"

He was cut off by her lips on his.

"What was that for?" he asked grinning and a little dazed.

"For being you..." she answered, kissed his nose and went with Owen to the labs.

"Dr Smith! Everything alright? You look a little dishevelled, if I dare say so..." his rather noisy secretary said when he returned to his office.

"Yeah, we just had a 3425 S-16. Nothing serious."

"Oh, yes! Of course... 34-something, I know," she said in a serious voice.

The Doctor grinned inwardly. Everyone in Torchwood was supposed to know the security codes, even the secretaries, but he knew that Cindy never did her homework... So, she obviously had no clue that '3425 S-16' was the code for 'shagging the boss' daughter for reproduction'... who made this codes anyway?

"-and then I said 'You can't seriously go out with this dork!' and she said 'He is no dork! He is very intelle-... intellec-'"

"Intellectual," he said, while sitting down behind his desk.

"Yeah! That's it! Can you believe that she is shagging that-"

"Cindy, I'm really not interes-"

"And then I said 'Baby, with that hair colour, it's no wonder you get no other man!' and she became all bitchy like it was my fault that Jerry-"

The Doctor sighed and tuned her out. It wasn't like Cindy was dumb or anything... She just liked to gossip, had problems with big words and managed to get pink nail polish on every single one of his most important files... okay, maybe she was a little dense at times but she was pretty good with plants and always reminded her to water Chuck... Quite a plus point, that.

"Cindy, I have to call Jake. Could you get these files to Mr Tyler?" He gave her a pile of papers.

She saluted, said "Aye, aye Sir! Doctor, Sir!" and rushed out of the door, her blonde locks jiggling in the air. The Doctor's lips twitched.

Alright, she was also quite amusing sometimes.

He dialled Jake's number. "Jake Simmonds."

"Jakety Jak Jake! What's up?"

The Doctor heard him groan. "I told you, not to call me that! I'm not Mickey..."

"Yeah, but the mickeyest person I know on this Earth."

"Whatever... Rose told you to call, huh? We have a code 2357 E-7 here."

The half-Time Lord squealed. "Non-hostile intelligent extraterrestrials?! But that's absolutely brilliant! Who are they? What did they say?"

"Calm down, Doctor! Our translation device isn't working on them... They are humanoids and seem to be half plants or something."

"Plants! Absolutely great! Chuck can help us with them..."

There was a long pause on Jake's side. "Doctor. Chuck is that palm tree you always carry around, right?"

"Of course he is! Why do you ask?" The Doctor's grin threatened to split his face.

"Because that's the point. He. Is. A. Palm. Tree. An absolutely normal palm tree. From Earth. No brain. No voice. No nothing. Just plant. So tell me how exactly, is he able to help?"

"Oi! You are being very rude and not ginger, Jake Simmonds... that is... You didn't dye your hair, did you? Because that would be highly unfair! Rose forbid me to dye my hair... so, you shouldn't be able to dye them either!" He grimaced. "Please, tell me you aren't ginger!"

Jake sighed. "No, for the umpteenth time: I'm not ginger and won't ever be! Although... why shouldn't I be allowed to dye my hair? I'm not the one who is whipped by Rose..."

"I'm not whipped!"

"..."

"Okay, maybe a little," the Doctor admitted crestfallen. "Anyway, anything else about the aliens? Where are they right now?"

"Greenhouse. The weather here doesn't seem to be optimal for them. You coming, then?"

"'Course we are! Half-plants are always fun to be with, right Chuck?"

The palm tree's silence said more than thousand words.

Jake groaned. "Alright. See ya!"

Rose felt somewhat numb when she returned to her office. She sat down on her big executive chair and put her hand under her chin, completely lost in her thoughts.

A few minutes later, the phone suddenly rang.

"Rose Tyler."

"Hey, Rose, here is the Doctor. Ehm... I don't know how to break it to you, but... Alright, I have good and bad news. Which do you want to hear first?"

Rose sighed. "Bad."

"Okay... ehm... well, the aliens are kind of a little... ehm... upset, and-"

"-UPSET? They fucking tried to kill us with their claws! Be glad, they only got our clothes..." Jake's voice sounded through the phone.

The Doctor cleared his voice. "And that gets me to the good news. You can strike 'working' from the list... we are kind of doing it naked right now."

Rose's lips twitched. "You have no idea how I would love to see that... How did you 'upset' them?"

"Naughty girl... Stop grinning, Jake," she heard him say to their friend. "Well, generally speaking, it wasn't us who did it..."

"Who was it then? Got someone else from Torchwood there?" she asked, frowning.

"I might have brought Chuck with me here and he kind of... well, maybe he was a little... okay, okay, he was very rude to the aliens' princess."

Rose blinked a few times and then burst out laughing. "He was rude? That is sooo typical! Thousands, millions of palm trees on this Earth and you get one who is rude and not ginger!" She laughed so hard that tears began to build in her eyes.

"Oi, I will inform you that Chuck is still very young and... well, he is kind of in puberty and thought the princess was very attractive. How could he have known that shaking his leaves like that was insulting for them? He didn't know of female plants before, anyway... and really! You women always give us men ambiguous signs!"

"Doctor, for the last time: He. Is. A. Palm. Tree. He didn't shake his leaves, that was the wind! Rose, could you talk reason into him, please? He is driving me mad with this shit," Jake said desperately. Seemed like the Doctor really was acting like... well... himself in the last few hours.

"Believe me, that is absolutely impossible... As impossible as him never eating bananas and jelly babies again."

Rose heard Jake whistle in astonishment.

"Anyway, where are you two right now?"

"Still in the greenhouse. Those aliens are searching for us... at least they don't have noses. Hmm... maybe they are from Barcelona!" the Doctor said excitedly.

She could literally hear Jake frowning. "Barcelona? Come on, Doctor! There are no humanoid plants in Spain as far as I know..."

"Nah, not the city, the planet! Rose and I have been there after my regeneration. Lovely vacation spot!"

"Could you at least try to stay focused for once, Theta?" Rose asked impatiently, with a little growl in her voice.

The Doctor gulped. "Of course, Rosie."

"What?"

"Rose! Never would call you Rosie, really... Rather silly, that. Not a nice endearment at all... I would not even call a dog Rosie."

Now Rose really growled and the Doctor squeaked a little when he realised his mistake. "No! No, no, no, no, no, no! I didn't mean it like that I-" He sighed and talked to Jake. "Can't talk me out of this one, can I?"

"Nope."

"You can be glad that we are trying for a baby... otherwise, you could sooo train your right hand for the next week."

He swallowed again. "Yes, ma'am."

"Anyway, did you ask for backup?"

"Yep," the Doctor said, popping the 'p'. "They should be here any minute... We just wanted to fill you in. What did Owen say? Everything alright?"

"Yeah, he just mixed another 'cocktail'. Said it could help us with the hormonal differences... although he isn't sure, if that's the reason for me not getting pregnant... It's all a little complicated, since there is no one else like you."

"Well, always knew I was special."

"Oh, shut it! Anyway, he gave me a sample so you should probably get a look at it when you are back."

"Alrighty, see you later sweetheart!" He paused. "Sweetheart! Another endearment, lovely!"

Rose laughed. "Bye, Bambi!" She hang up before he could say another word.

In the greenhouse...

"Bambi?" Jake asked while grinning widely.

The Doctor sighed. "Don't ask."

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