Back with Number 25 :)

Enjoy!

"We have to talk."

The Doctor didn't know at first what it was in Rose's voice that rang his alarm bells and let a mauve sign with the word 'Run!' appear inside his mind. Was it the way her eyes darted to doors and windows as if she wanted to keep his escape ways in view? Maybe her anguished undertone, which gave him the impression, she was on the verge of doing something bad... very bad. The kind of 'I have to kill my fiancé and run off with the milkman'-bad. Come to think of it, the Doctor never did like Barry.

But neither did Rose, did she? Maybe she was possessed... there were a few alien species who were rather fond of milk... and Barry was ginger. Oh, that's why the Doctor never liked him!

"Rose, are you possessed by-"

"That's exactly what I want to talk about." She shot him a firm look and the Doctor felt a sinking sensation in his stomach when all of his suspicions seemed to confirm themselves.

He sank to his knees before her and hugged Rose's legs. "I'm sorry, I'm not ginger! Please don't kill me!"

Rose looked down at the picture of misery to her feet, feeling momentarily lost for words when additionally a squeaky voice sounded in her brain.

I told you, he is totally off his trolley! We should do as he says, kill him I mean, and flee to another country... just the two of us, babe!

One mental image of Rose chopping Chuck up and burning his remnants afterwards, was enough to make him shiver in fear.

Jeez... can't you take a joke?! Really, why should I be interested in some pinkish yellow fleshy thing? You may have the name 'Rose', but really aren-

Another mental image appeared inside his mind... this time Rose took his brain out and began to stab it with a blunt knife.

Chuck gulped but stayed silent.

"Alright, at least someone shuts up!" she said when the Doctor began to whine loudly. Rose kneed down to him on the floor, put both her hands on his shoulders and began to shake him violently. "Snap out of it, Theta!"

The mentioning of his nickname seemed to do the trick. The Doctor jumped up, looked confused around and asked, "What?"

"I think you had that fantasy of me killing you and running away with the milkman again..."

"What?"

"I really think you should visit a psychiatrist..."

"Wha-"

Rose groaned. "Oh, stop it! What is it with you and saying 'what' for three times, again, again and again?"

"Oh, I got stuck on a planet once where it was forbidden to say 'what?' less than three times... kind of stuck, that."

"Riiight. That wasn't what I wanted to talk about," she said and added after seeing the look of complete terror on his face, "And it isn't the milkman either... Seriously, why do you think I would prefer Barney over you?"

Rose using the wrong name, seemed to please the Doctor immensely. "Barry. And it is just because..." He went up to her until their faces were just a few inches apart and whispered raptly, "He is ginger."

The Doctor was able to see every little step of Rose's oncoming laughing fit. Her eyes widened, the corners of her mouth began to twitch lightly, her face turned slightly pink and a few gasps of laughter broke out, until she finally broke down and laughed him right in the face.

"Ginger?!" she managed to gasp out between giggles. "I hate ginger! Why on Pete's world do you think I would prefer someone ginger?"

The Doctor wiped the wet spots on his face away (Rose had a rather wet laugh) and said, surprised "But... You were disappointed when I regenerated... and everyone likes ginger, right?"

Nope, just you, Doc.

"Yep, just you."

He stared at them with wide eyes and said in a high voice, so unlike his own, "Alright," After clearing his throat, he continued in his own voice, "ehm... What was it you wanted to say?"

"It's about you seeing aliens everywhere. I can understand that you thought Mr Bean was one, really I do, but... those two teenagers last week." Rose shook her head.

"That was hardly my fault! They talked in a language that was just unearthly..."

"Doctor... they were Japanese. Only because the TARDIS doesn't translate for you any more..." Her voice drifted off, when she just remembered something. "Wait... how come you can still understand English?"

The Doctor shrugged. "Most of my companions were from Britain and since it is known on many different planets, I thought it would be better to know it. Less work for my old ship, you know?"

Rose gave him a piercing look. "She forced you to learn it, didn't she?"

"Turned off the translation circuit," he muttered quietly.

HAH! Loser!

"Shut up, Chuck!" The Doctor and Rose bellowed in unison before grinning at each other.

Oi, that is repression! Wait, till I tell Greenpeace!

He was ignored completely ignored by both of them and began to pout.

Rose continued. "Then there is the thing with my mother," The Doctor mumbled that he still thinks Jacky ought to be an alien. "Mr Anderson," He groaned since the memory was more than embarrassing. "and of course in more recent events," She positively glared at him now. "OUR TOASTER!"

"Oi! That thing always finishes just when I turn my back to it! And with that loud 'PANG' to boot! So you see, it is totally normal to think, some alien sits either in it or controls it from afar to give me an heart attack..."

A few minutes passed during Rose stared at him and Chuck sang 'I'm a weed plant' in their heads.

When he came to the part 'I'm a weed plant, A little, stinky, smelly, skunky bud' Rose finally snapped out of it and went to the phone.

"What are you doing?" the Doctor asked, completely surprised while humming the song together with Chuck.

"I'm calling Dr Griffith... Dad was right, you really are in need of a therapy."

The Doctor is bonkers! The Doctor is bonkers!

"You too, Chuck."

Damn.

Five very tiring hours later, they came back from the 'therapy'. Rose slammed the door shut behind them and glowered at her two 'men'.

"I. Can't. Believe. You."

The Doctor and his green friend looked as innocently as a half alien and his palm tree could possible look. "What? We didn't do anything wrong... just answered the doctor's questions..."

"He drowned an amazing amount of Brandy because of your great answers! Okay, you are supposed to say the truth in a therapy but not that detailed! Chuck's strange desire to stick his roots into-"

"I don't think you have to repeat it for us... Thank you," said the Doctor, shuddering. The memory of Chuck's 'sexual' likes and dislikes still burned freshly in his mind and he doubt, he would ever be able to forget it.

Oi, he asked what changed for me when I got my brain... What else was I supposed to say?

"Well, you could have talked about your feelings for example. How your emotional view changed or something," Rose answered, while taking her coat off.

Oh, I talked about my emotional view alright, babe!

"I didn't mean THAT kind of emotion. Seriously, you are sounding like a teenage boy in puberty..."

Maybe I am. It's not like there is someone else like me, is it?

"But there might be in some time," the Doctor threw in. "I just have to convince Pete and find the formula again... couldn't be that-"

"And what about you, Doctor?" Rose chose to ignore his plans about making more plants like Chuck. The imagination of having two hormonal plants inside her head was disturbing to say the least. "You didn't have to tell him about the parallel worlds... He may work for Torchwood, but that information is confidential and not supposed to be known by anyone other then the Team who worked on the dimension cannon or the ones who crossed worlds!"

"I know, but I just became so emotional after talking about-" He swallowed hard. "-my trauma."

"Oh, you can't still be upset about that. You just walked in when Mum and Dad-"

"Don't!" The Doctor rushed to Rose and pressed his hand on her mouth. "Don't you dare to ever mention that again, Rose Tyler! It was just... inhuman."

Rose rolled her eyes, grabbed his wrist and pulled his hand away from her mouth. "It wasn't inhuman. They just-" She dodged his attempted attacks on her mouth again and said, "ate bananas with ketchup. What's the big deal?"

The Doctor shrieked, covered his ears with his hands and ran into their bedroom, locking the door behind him.

Well, it's a big deal for the nutter, alright.

Rose just sighed in response, put Chuck on his favourite spot beside their gum tree (which he fancied) and sat down to watch 'WestEnders'.

"Damn, stupid parallel world..." she muttered, while trying to bear with the bad (really bad) series and Chuck's flirtations, he just had to put into her mind.

She soon fell asleep and dreamed of blue boxes and over two million alien channels...

"And now you have to fry your human until he is crispy brown. A little bit of lemon and basil are able to give your taste buds a new experience of-" BANG

"Don't eat me!" Rose jumped up with a start, feeling suddenly completely awake and sober. Confused, she looked around and slowly realized that she was indeed not about to get fried and eaten by Fanny Craddock. After blinking a few times, Rose began to walk around to search for the strange noise.

BANG

She jumped again and saw smoke coming out from the kitchen door. In mere seconds, she ran to the door opened it and was met by a wall of smoke that sting in her eyes.

"What the hell..."

"Rose! Oh shit!" The Doctor stood naked over their burning toaster with a fire extinguisher in his hands.

"Don't just stand there like a Roman statue! Put out the fire!"

He did as he was told and soon their kitchen table looked like a landscape of snow. The Doctor looked at Rose and opened his mouth to say something, but she interrupted him.

"You don't have to say anything..." she muttered, shaking her head. "You were either 'mending' naked because of that stupid list and burned the toaster instead or it is one of your strange fetishes like your 'Doctor/Nurse' one..."

"Hey! A fetish like that is perfectly normal for men of my age! Jake said that, too!"

"First, you are either mere months old or over nine hundred years... What's normal for that age, is anyone's guess. Second, you trust Jake with something about sex?!"

The Doctor mumbled something incoherent and looked at his feet, while Rose sighed and went out of the room. A few seconds later, she came back with a bucket and mop.

"Clean up this mess," she said, giving him the cleaning utensils and added when he opened his mouth again, "And I don't want to hear any complains!" With that said, she went back to watch TV again.

But the silence shouldn't last long... "You know, I didn't do much to the toaster... It shouldn't have exploded! I bet it was an assassination attempt on us! And they used the toaster again so there won't be any evidence left..."

"You are just paranoid... why should anyone want to kill us like that?"

Two days later, they stood before the burning building that ones hosted their apartment.

"Don't. Say. Anything," Rose said through gritted teeth and the Doctor closed his mouth again, humming to himself. There would be enough time later for his 'I told you so's, after all...

I enabled anonymous reviews now. Didn't know that was possible before... Sorry :P