Pure and Clear

by sugawara-supremacy

Title makes no sense. Because she's Lily and He's James and with him came three others and they all fit together perfectly.

3. Chapter 3

Okay, this'll be a long one. Really long. Its more like little stories mixed together.

Disclaimer: I do not own HP. JK does. I've said so already. Twice.

Petunia seems to like sending people toothpicks. And James loves treacle tart...genes passed on to The Boy Who Lived.

...

Dear mum and dad,

I'm doing great and I hope you two are well too. How's Aunt Rosie? If she still has that pesky back pain, I could fix it the next time I come home... Remember to send me an owl immediately if something funny happens. Dark times and all that.

As for school, you know how it is... I've been studying my butt off and the assignments keep piling up so fast, you're a goner if you even consider procrastinating. I wonder how James and Sirius and Peter do theirs, honestly. Remus probably let's them copy. And as for Marlene, she's doing good. Aside from the fact that she's now dating Amos Diggory (current head boy, incredibly popular. James doesn't stand a chance in rivaling him in popularity, though he doesn't like it when I point that out.) she's just as busy as we all are.

I know you two are worried, but believe me, nothing serious will happen as long as Dumbledore's here. He may be little off his rocker but that's only because he's such a wise old man. I trust him. And you should too. The Slytherins like to have a go at me and all the other muggleborns when they get a chance but that's fine. I'm okay. I couldn't care less actually; all I have to do is keep James and Sirius in check. If they're around when the slimy gits decide to take a jab, well... I'm really touched and proud to have them and everything but really, those two are convinced the Slytherins are going to attack us. I don't entirely disagree, though; I told you about Mary... but I'll be careful, I promise.

My birthday was fine, Mum. Hagrid invited us over for tea in the evening and Marlene and the girls threw me a little surprise party back in the dorm. The boys gave me this beautiful quill that leaves burns on people except the owner. They made it themselves. Sometimes, I'm awfully jealous of their skill.

Sirius says hi. And he loved the homemade Fudge. Stole the entire thing, he and James did. I didn't even get a bite. (Yes, this a pathetic request for more delectable chocolate. I'm your daughter, you can't judge me.)

And give Petunia my greetings, though I doubt she'd want to hear them. I know she's still mad about the whole thing. But tell her I said thanks for the Christmas present. I loved that toothpick. Its my favourite one.

Well, I have to go now. Keep safe. Stay inconspicuous. I love you, and Petunia too. Owl me as soon as you get this. Keep writing. I'll rest easy knowing you're alright.

Lots of love,

Lily.

She sealed the envelope with a tap of her wand and slid the letter inside her bag, deciding to pay a visit to the owlery the next morning. Lily got up and stretched. It was late February and the chill was seeping in from the windows despite the blazing fire in there. She cast her green eyes around the nearly empty common room, finally landing on the sleeping figure of James Potter on the couch, next to where she sat. He was in deep slumber, glasses askew, still in his uniform, dead tired after quidditch practice. She remembered both him and Sirius stumbling back inside followed by the rest of the team, muddy, sweaty and half dead. James had collapsed on the couch but the others had had enough sense to go back and take a bath first. He slept through dinner as well because none of them had the heart to wake him up. Remus was currently under the cloak, somewhere in the kitchens, hoping to get a few bits of something into their Chaser's stomach. Lily sighed and sat back down, folding her legs underneath her and reaching over to pull away the round glasses perched awkwardly on his nose. She cleaned it with a tap of her wand and set it on the nearby table. James looked a little different without them on, but in a good way.

Could he ever look different in a bad way? The female population of Hogwarts would say no, and Lily would have to reluctantly agree. Because that was the truth and the truth is ugly sometimes. It would've helped her ego if he looked like a git but nooooo.

A lot had happened since that first lesson with the Order. Christmas was not spent at home, she had decided to give Petunia's nerves a rest. Surprisingly, the boys stayed back as well. They had quite a bit of fun in the grounds, bewitching snowballs and having late night chess games and meaningless chats. Lily learned a lot about them all with those few days. And in the months that followed, she found herself attached to them by the hip. The entire student community was shocked at first but now, it was as natural to them all as it was for McGonagall to glare.

And then one fine day, she'd decided to experiment something. Sometime in January, as Remus's problem drew closer, she pulled James back late in the night (He'd been sneaking around outside) and handed him a bottle of sleeping draught. A lot more powerful that the usual brew.

James had stared, bewildered, as she tried to explain that it might help take the edge off Remus's transformation and probably keep them a little safer and that she wasn't sure if it worked on animals but that he should try and that it was harmless enough even though it's stronger than normal, she'd asked Madam Pomfrey—

And then he'd pulled her into a tight hug, murmuring his thanks into her hair, filling her with a warmth unlike never before, and then rushed off to the dorms to show Sirius. The memory was still fresh in her mind because he'd never looked so vibrant, so grateful, so happy to actually have a hope of sparing his best friend some pain.

And that's also the day Lily realized she was a goner.

Trapped, tangled in his net. James Potter was now like a noose around her neck. She was simply waiting it out, hoping this was just an infatuation that would go way eventually. But the noose only seemed to be tightening its grip on her.

Continued exposure to his charm had helped in not ending up looking like a sodding tomato every time he merely looked at her. The long term effects refused to go away though. She couldn't stop the butterflies, she couldn't keep her blood pumping organ under control. But other than that, James was just being his usual quirky self and she was doing good.

But then came the Hogsmeade weekend.

She'd been so torn, not knowing whether he would ask her or not, not knowing what she'd say if he did. Did she like him? Yes. But a date would be extremely risky because if her feelings were simply periodic, then they'd eventually fall out, and with the way they clashed, things would end up ugly.

She didn't want to lose him. Or any of them.

So she hoped he wouldn't do anything. And James almost gave her a heart attack. He'd pulled her away by the hand, on the Thursday before the weekend, pushed her into a corner of the room and grasped her hands tightly in his, eyes pleading, stooping slightly to level his gaze with hers.

Lily nearly collapsed. She couldn't remember to keep her calm.

"Lily." He'd said seriously.

She'd squeaked. Squeaked.

"This a request. Please please please—"

No, no no no no no. Don't James, don't!

"Please," he continued, oblivious to her dilemma, " Finish my Charms essay for me."

"...What?"

"My essay." He clarified, pleading with his eyes " I absolutely forgot about it with the quidditch practice and Moony and then the map malfunctioned so I had to fix that and—"

"You want me to finish your essay for you."

"Yeah..." he straightened, looking a little worried now. Lily had been a little pale. But now she was grinning at him. What was she so happy about?

Laughter bubbled from her lips, light with relief and he felt his own lips quirk upwards at the sound. It did things to his stomach, her laugh.

"Of course I'll do it!" she'd exclaimed. "In fact, I'll do it right now! Gimme the parchment."

And she'd laboured hard into the night, James staying up with her, trying to help but preoccupied with the still malfunctioning map. She had not done it for free, of course not. Demanding what seemed to James ," a hefty fee" of half of his Honeydukes stock, she finished off the assignment. And although that night passed by in a flurry of laughter and ink, the next week, she found herself toying with the idea that he'd lost interest in her.

What if it had all been just a game to him?

And that thought still plagued her mind at times, especially now that she was almost sure it wasn't just a silly infatuation for her. Almost.

Ugh, this bloody well sucked.

And then there was Valentine's. She'd spent the entire day with all four of the Marauders, Marlene having been on her third date with Diggory, Mary doing some schoolwork, Alice finally on a date with Frank once the bloke decided to grow a pair and ask her the month before. Lily was expecting to curl up with a book but she'd been ambushed by the boys and they'd dragged her off to Hogsmeade. James had bought her an eatable pink parchment and quill from Honeydukes and they'd settled on the shore of the Black lake, watching couples from afar, laughing as Sirius and Remus dubbed the lovebirds' muted conversations with absurd dialogues of their own. It was fun, to say the least.

She always felt so at home with them, it was scary sometimes.

And all throughout their companionship, James continued to surprise her with his knowledge about her do's and don'ts. She was surprised at how accurately he'd captured her; he knew how she liked her coffee, he knew she was in love with chocolate fudge, he knew exactly when she was hiding something, be it disapproval or pain behind her mask. He had profound knowledge from her favourite singer to her intolerance for dog earing books. But of course, there were still things he didn't know but honestly, she didn't care. They had often spent many late nights together, chatting away in between mountains of homework because quidditch took up his time and prefect duties took up hers. She was frequently covering for Remus so it was double the work. Sirius always joined them but always went off to bed by eleven, not really able to keep himself awake after that.

Lily learned many things about James, how his father was the one who made Sleekzeys hair potion ("Sleekzeys! Oh Sweet Merlin, James, your dad deserves to be preserved in Gold!") how Sirius was now staying with the Potters and how he often thought his mother trusted that git more than she trusted him. She told him about Petunia, he parents, her 4th grade class teacher who must've been a witch. But she never actually treaded on the topic of her friendship with Severus because it brought back painful memories for her and he'd always look a little put off at the mention of the Slytherin. And even though the Marauders and Marlene knew her, James seemed to have her all figured out. They worked awfully good together too, they realized in consecutive lessons of the Order. Despite their differences, they worked seamlessly well with each other. Something Dumbledore did not miss. Also something that could mean trouble for her. She was getting in too deep, it was moving too fast.

Although, she couldn't ignore the fact that they just clicked.

But that didn't mean they didn't fight.

Lily still yelled at him, and he still shouted back, sometimes things got so ugly, they refused to speak to each other at all.

Once, James had hexed Yaxely in the hallway, because he'd apparently been saying something about another younger muggle born witch. And Lily had walked in just in time to see professor Slughorn take points from Gryffindor; she'd managed to get a steaming James out of there without much harm because of Slughorn's favouritism to her. However, she'd exploded later in the common room, and he'd thundered right back, the rest of the students alarmed at the fight. Lily was upset he was acting without thinking, he could've been expelled. James was mad at her for still thinking he hadn't changed and for not seeing this from his perspective; he had lost his temper, he was only human.

And that went on for a week, cold glares and daggers, which slowly receded to worried frowns and guilty faces. Finally, Lily succumbed, simply because she couldn't bear it. She plopped down on the floor of their common room with the Marauders one night, after they came back late from detention. James stiffened as she sat down right next to him. Lily produced several sandwiches and flasks of pumpkin juice (they'd missed dinner) and slid James one too, accompanied by a half hearted glare that said ,'I'm making peace but don't do stupid things again.' He stared at the packet at first and then sighed in defeat, a small smile making its way onto his lips as he pulled her into a one armed hug around her neck and dropped a kiss on her head, effectively putting an end to that argument, and then joked about her knowing the way to a man's heart; food was always welcome. She was sure steam must've erupted from the spot he'd pressed his lips to. But by now, she was used to the boys being so friendly. James and Sirius tended to do this, although the former was very rare and the latter frequent.

Now, they were all so close knit, she often wondered how they spent so many years apart. If only they'd matured sooner and she'd loosened up sooner, they might've had quite a few amazing years. The Marauders were like family. She doted on Peter, took care of Remus, he was the close, wise friend she went to with her problems, Sirius was definitely her brother from another mother— they were like that around each other, and she was incredibly attracted to James.

Presently, the portrait door opened and in came Remus and Peter, arms laden with food. She grinned and moved over so they could dump everything on her chair. Sandwiches, a glass of juice, sausages and Muffins. And tea for the three of them.

"Oi, James." Peter prodded the sleeping Chaser ," Wake up mate."

"That's not going to work." Remus shook his head as James showed no signs of stirring " I'm going to try some water."

Lily looked at him sharply, her expression tinged with glee and mischief. "Oh, Remus. Allow me." Green eyes shone excitedly and she grabbed her wand and pointed it at James's sleeping face. Lupin grinned and stepped back, "Don't do it Lily. He'll murder you," he warned although he really wanted to see where this went, James hated being woken up like that; they'd know. But Lily only smiled slyly. "He can take a number." She replied, readied her arm, pulling back her sleeve, concentrating. The very few students who were still in the common room watched, anxious grins on their faces.

Absently, Remus wondered what they'd done to the girl; she was now tainted.

Lily waited. He was so peaceful, it would be a shame to wake him up. But he needs to eat. She justified and gleefully muttered the spell that would get her into trouble but would be so worth it.

"Aguamenti."

She had toned down the pressure of the water but still, James received the shock of his life. He scrambled up in a panicked frenzy the second the water hit his face, sputtering and coughing and cursing. Nearly drenched. The jet died, slowly receding to drips from the end of her wand. She waved it and the couch dried itself, but she left James like that, sloppy and wet. The others in the room laughed at their Quidditch captain. Peter had erupted into fit of giggles. Remus was snickering. And James shook his head in an attempt to clear it. Water droplets flew around from his hair, hitting her shirt. The Chaser fixed his now-awake hazel eyes on the girl, glinting.

"Lily." He growled at her in a voice husky from sleep, making her stomach clench pleasurably. Goner. " You are a dead woman."

"And that's my cue." She shoved her wand back into her cloak, making a move to escape. " 'Night boys."

But he was too fast for her. A hand darted out and closed around her wrist, pulling her harshly back against him. She yelped. The same arms wrapped around her stomach, encasing her forelimbs within the cage he'd made, rendering escape impossible. Within seconds, James's drenched shirt was wetting the back of hers, his hair dripping water on the exposed part of her shoulders. It didn't help that her heart was beating a mile a minute but the boys' laughter had her grinning. She squirmed unsuccessfully. His grip tightened and she could feel his hot breath on her neck.

Her stomach gave a violent flutter.

Bad. This is bad. Not good for my health.

"Let go, you moron!" she struggled again, " You're all sweaty from practise, you git!"

James laughed and she felt the mild vibrations in his chest. It was doing things to her.

"You brought this upon yourself, Evans." He grinned as Peter handed him his wand, " This ought to teach you to mess with my sleep."

"Hmph. I was trying to wake you up for food."

"And I love you for that, but really, choose a better method next time." He shook his head and water rained on her. She bit back a squeal as the cold drops of condensation hit her currently hypersensitive skin. " Swear you'll never do this again."

"Dream on, Potter."

"Then you're not going anywhere." He tapped his head against the back of hers to prove his point. " I think your shirt is starting to look a little bit darker from here. Why is that, Moony?"

"Oh I don't know," the werewolf grinned, enjoying immensely. It was not everyday he got to see the two people who were tiptoeing around each other, pushed up together like this, " maybe because its wet."

"Ahh..." James drawled mockingly, "Hear that Lily? Wet. Do you know the dangers of getting a cold in this weather? Terrible. "

"Well then stop putting my life in danger." She growled." Leggo."

" Maybe I should just kill you off. You can be awfully annoying."

"I don't think," she said dryly, rolling her eyes, " that Voldemort's going to like it if you finished me off before he's had a chance to have a go at me."

The atmosphere darkened slightly. "That's not funny, Lily-kins." His voice dropped an octave. She felt his arms loosen. Taking the chance, she burst out of his grip, turning around and grinning triumphantly. James merely rolled his eyes.

Sandwiches came first. She could be dealt with later.

...****...

The next day, Lily stopped by the owlery, early in the morning. Stepping across the droppings on the floor, she quickly chose a tawny school owl and went closer. The bird fixed her with beady, unimpressed eyes and she found herself talking to it.

"I'm sorry I'm making you do this for me. " she tied the letter to its leg carefully, " But you know how things are. I need to stay in touch."

The owl hooted.

"Lily Evans?" a small voice piped up from her left and she snapped her head over to see Angela Michaels, a tiny, mousy Hufflepuff third year. She remembered Angela from their encounter in the library quite a few months before. The younger girl had been looking for a good read and Lily had suggested ' Hogwarts, A history" because she'd never read it. Angela had come back to see her one day, to tell her she really enjoyed the book. She was a muggle born, still struggling to fit in, and the book had apparently helped a lot.

Lily smiled at her brightly, "Angela!" she exclaimed, the owl hooted unhappily at her." Its been so long! How are you?"

The girl smiled back, shedding a little of her shyness at Lily's friendly attitude. She swept her short hair back behind her ears and went a little pink at the attention she was receiving from her senior, but took it in good grace. "I'm doing great, thanks. What are you doing up here?"

"Sending mum a letter." Lily gestured to the owl, smiling as the girl blushed heavily now, realizing that was an unnecessary question. Why else would somebody be up in the owlery? "What are you doing here?"

Again, the Hufflepuff smiled gratefully at Lily's attempt to make her feel better. She officially adored this older student. "I was just writing to my brother. He's sick. We always got along well and he'd been sad when I left this year. And mum told me he was feeling lonely so I..." she trailed off, now sure she was acting like an idiot, blabbering like that.

But Lily smiled ruefully and sighed, " You're awfully lucky to be missed by a sibling." She turned to her owl again, looking a little wistful as she resumed tying up the letter, " My sister won't even look at me."

And Angela found it absolutely absurd that someone could not look at a person as nice as Lily Evans.

"Your sister's loss, then." She replied and moved over to help Lily with the fidgeting owl. "You're awfully nice, Lily. Thank you."

Lily merely smiled, people didn't know her at all...she wasn't that much of a good girl...she had a very clear cut conscience...and she liked helping people...but that was it. Sighing in her head, she reached inside her bag and offered the restless bird the two owl treats she'd brought, and stroked its feathers as it gobbled up the whole thing. Now appeased, the owl nipped at her finger in an almost affectionate manner.

"You must me a male, huh?" she teased, one last long stroke along its feathers," I give you food, and you're all sugary."

"Well, well, well. " said a sneering voice from the doorway. A tone with a touch of actual disgust only the green and silver clad students of Hogwarts could bring out.

Her heart thudded quickly, and not in a good way. It wasn't the James Potter siren at all.

Lily spun around at the nasal, drawling voice, and found herself face to face with Mulciber, Avery and Alecto Carrow. All three of them had their wands out casually, walking in as if they had all the time in the world. Lily composed herself, coolly nudging the owl to fly outside, her logical mind working furiously. They were trouble, yes, but really, she was a prefect. They wouldn't do anything drastic...

Right?

"Two mudbloods in one go." Alecto grinned wickedly, " This must be our lucky day, boys."

"What do you want?" Stealthily, she reached for her wand in her pocket.

Avery grinned maliciously. Lily was trying not to break into a sweat, although the Adrenaline pumped inside her rapidly as the situation sank in. Her mind reeled, thinking of ways to solve this encounter diplomatically but then two things happened: Mulciber waved his wand and the owlery door banged shut behind them; and Lily felt Angela shift slightly, hiding behind her back partially, tiny hands clasping tight onto her left one.

A fire burst into life inside Lily's chest; a fierce protectiveness darkening her features.

Screw diplomacy. If they tried something, they would sure as Merlin have hell to pay.

"Move out of the way, Carrow. We have a class to get to."

The aspiring death eaters tittered and she gritted her teeth in frustration. Mulciber leered at her. "Move out of the way? For a mudblood? I don't think so, Evans."

"What should we do with them, do you reckon?" Avery leaned against a wall, looking relaxed, as if they were talking about the weather. " Its not everyday we get a chance to talk to Lily Evans without Potter or his entourage popping in."

"Hmm...you're right." Alecto hummed, " No Rubbish Chasers to save you today, Evans. Whatcha gonna do?"

Lily glared openly at them all. Silly idiots thought she needed someone to protect her. Fools.

"Open the door and let us go." She warned, voice steady, " Don't make me dock points for improper conduct."

The group of Slytherins launched into exaggerated fits of laughter that made her blood boil.

"You think we care, bitch?" Alecto crowed," You can bloody well take all the points you want. Foolish mudblood," her eyes blazed suddenly and Lily braced herself, "thinks she's above us just because she's got a shiny badge. I'm going to put you in your place, Evans."

It happened fast; Alecto raised her wand and fired a stunning spell that would've hit them if Lily had not raised a shield in time. Angela yelped. Now riled up, the Slytherins all pulled their wands to the front. A beat passed.

Her heart hammered in her chest, mind resetting itself to focus on the fight.

"Don't worry." She murmured to the younger girl. "I'll get you out of here."

And then it began.

Jets of light flew towards the two of them from multiple directions. Lily struggled to keep all three of the attackers at bay while keeping the younger student safe at the same time. Her hair whipped around as she summoned spell after spell, dodging and deflecting the dark jinxes and curses being sent her way. She didn't have time to consciously think about anything else, caught in a mind numbing fight for escape. At some point, she realized she must be breaking almost seven school rules.

Owls hooted like mad and fluttered about as deflected curses made bits of the ceiling and walls shatter and fall. The rubble stirred up dust, it was hard to breathe as it is, and she wondered why the noise wasn't attracting attention. Their figures were partially obscured by the clouds of soot. Something stuck her forehead and it seared. She skipped and darted out of the way, pulling Angela down as a jet of green light sailed above their heads. Her blood chilled.

Unforgivable curses now? The Slytherins had always bullied people with hexes and jinxes and mild curses but this, this seemed to be a smaller imprint of Voldemort's acts outside. The rumours of Slytherins students actually attacking to hurt muggleborns... she was living it right now.

She realized how foolishly she'd believed that something as trivial to them as a prefect or a head student could stop their bullying. But this wasn't bullying. This was attempting murder. And that's when she realized she'd lost track, she'd forgotten the enormity of the whole entire situation, caught up in her frivolous teenage life. This was how it was outside, this was how people were being murdered. This was what was happening to muggles and muggle borns and other innocent good wizards all over. She was getting a taste of reality.

And it was bitter.

Anger fuelling her will, Lily pushed down the trembling girl and faced them, limbs quivering in rage. She couldn't hear anything over the pounding of her heart. Hatred burned inside her and with a ferocious light on her face, she stepped forward and duelled all three of the Slytherins, ignoring the blood trickling down from her forehead, along her temple. She punished them single handedly for ever even thinking about trying to oppress her. Lily's pride gave her the energy.

Alecto dodged a special body bind curse and cackled, " Dumbledore's taught you a few tricks hasn't he?"

Frustration bubbled in her chest and Lily lashed out at the other girl, but three against one was not something she was used to.

A well timed jelly legs curse made Avery fall over and this startled the other three. Lily used the opportunity to point her wand at the door.

"Reducto!"

The wood blast into bits, taking bits of the doorframe with it, the force knocking the three attackers off their feet. Swallowing a curse at the dust, Lily quickly ushered a crying Angela out, hoping, praying that someone comes along. They stumbled, but pushed forward. Her clothes were torn and there was a gash on her cheek and a cut on her forehead. Fresh blood slowly slid down her temple, but she didn't have time to fix it. The only thing alive in her mind was the fact that she needed to get the younger girl to safety. Lily realized she couldn't call for help even if she wanted to, her throat was clogged and her mouth was dry. She'd barely made it to the corridor, however, when instinct made her push the girl out of the way, and something hit her from behind.

Pain.

She felt it, like hot needles being plunged into every inch if her body. She wanted to cry out. It was torture, but somehow through the haze of agony, reason struck her mind. She felt her knees give away, she heard Angela shrieking. But she knew what this was; an untrained, unmastered Cruciatus curse.

Lily furiously refused to scream.

And then it stopped and she dropped to the ground, rolling over onto her back. Ears buzzed. Faint shouts and sounds from around her failed to make sense. Her limbs were like lead, but on fire. Suddenly thinking about the younger girl she was trying to protect, Lily forced her eyes open. And saw Professor McGonagall's emerald green cloak flash in front of her, a sight that brought immense hope.

A sigh of relief; and she closed her eyes.

When she opened them next, she was still lying on the ground. Her clothes were still torn, she was still covered in dust, but right now, there were other faces peering down at her worriedly. Sirius and Peter loomed above her, looking pale and concerned when she opened her eyes. And she'd never felt so relieved and happy. Seeing them was like a sun of her own had been thrust into this darkness inside her mind. Lily blinked and tried to sit up. A warm pair of hands assisted her and her Potter siren went haywire.

Well. The sun just got brighter.

James helped her straighten up from behind and she didn't dare to look at his face. From their position, he was still propping her up; she was slightly leant against him for support. Not having the strength to pull herself together just yet, even though she desperately wanted to get back on her own feet, she smiled at Sirius as he took her hand, as a positive reply to his silent enquiry about her well being. She saw Madam Pomfrey tending to a shaky Angela who had tear tracks down her sooty face and Amos Diggory, Head boy, crouching next to her, along with one of Angela's friends. Her eyes spotted the four Slytherins, tied up together on the ground, looking smug for some reason. They met her gaze and Avery leered at her. Lily felt a spike of anger. She felt James stiffen behind her and Sirius's hand tightened around hers and she realized they had been glaring at the four wannabe death eaters the whole time. Processor Sprout was standing next to McGonagall, looking stiff with anger. She could hear the deputy headmistress thundering at someone...Professor Slughorn?

"I will not have a word of it, Horace!" McGonagall's voice was unbelievably loud and dangerously venomous. "My student was attacked in broad daylight by these bunch of unruly hooligans! I will not stand for anything less than expulsion!"

"Now, now, Minerva." Slughorn mopped his forehead with a pink polka dotted hanky, one Lily had gifted him in the third year ," Lily is as much my student as she is yours, and so is Miss Michaels. They will be punished...but expulsion?" He swiped at his forehead again, muttering, "No, that won't do... Carrow will have my head...it can't be done."

Professor McGonagall exploded.

"Carrow will have you head?! So what?! How can you even think of allowing such tyranny to take place inside these castle walls and still stand here doing nothing about it?!"

"Minerva..." Dumbledore called softly and Lily jumped at his voice, she didn't even know he was there. She felt James sigh behind her. "I know you are upset as we all are and I promise severe actions will be taken but please calm yourself."

"Oh for what, Albus? If you think I am going to sit around quietly when one of my children are attacked then you have me misunderstood."

Lily felt a warm rush of affection for her House Head and saw to the side, Professor Sprout, tight lipped, nod sharply. Dumbledore placed a placating hand on the older witch's shoulder. " I understand. And as much as I would like to agree with you, this matter requires serious discussion in a much calmer state of mind." The finality in his tone made McGonagall purse her lips but back off. Slughorn looked relieved. "Now," continued Dumbledore. "Horace, please escort these students of yours to my office. Pomona, see that Miss Michaels is in the hospital wing until Poppy deems it. Escort her and then join us. Master Diggory, join me in the office as well, bring Miss Edwards along too, please. Poppy, if you will. " he gestured to Angela.

Madam Pomfrey got up and glanced over at Lily, pity in her eyes." Professor, she needs to come too. Poor thing's been hit by the Cruciatus curse of all—"

"What?"

Lily winced at James's indignant hiss from behind and Sirius's too-tight grip on her hand. The ebony haired wizard got up, hands clenched into fists, eyes burning at Dumbledore. "You told us she was okay."

"Sirius—"

"Shut it, Lily." He glared at the old headmaster again, accusation in his voice. "You told us she was just cut up a little."

Dumbledore bowed his head, in apology, no less. " I suppose I deserve this. Although, tell me Master Black," he raised his eyes to Sirius's younger, furious face, scanning now, " Had I told you the truth, would you have come over with me or would you have gone after revenge?"

Sirius remained tight lipped, the answer was obvious. But there was nothing short of fury on his face.

"I thought as much. " said Dumbledore. " Now, the last thing I wanted was for another mishap to take place. I will not allow this in my school. I hope you understand why I did what I had to do." Dumbledore walked over to Lily," Miss Evans needed you more than revenge did, Sirius. Let's not forget that you don't fight fire with fire...you douse it with water."

He crouched down next to the red head, after absently signalling Slughorn and Sprout to take their students away and for Diggory to leave as well. He talked to Madam Pomfrey without looking at her, his eyes were scanning Lily's face, and she had to admit she shrank back a little.

Up close, her headmaster's eyes were intense orbs of well-suppressed anger. Livid. But in the quietest way possible.

"Poppy," he murmured, "I'll have these two gentlemen bring Miss Evans up in a moment but I would like to speak to them alone first."

Not looking happy at all, Madam Pomfrey left with the two younger girls. Angela looked at Lily wide eyed as she passed, her eyes darting to James for a second, alight with fear because the boy looked like he was going to murder someone. Lily smiled at the girl encouragingly, and then fixed her eyes on Dumbledore as that little group went away. She straightened now, away from James, on her own, and stared at a pair of electric blue orbs.

"First, and foremost, are you alright, Lily?"

She nodded. James made a sarcastic noise. Actually, she was woozy and really tired for some reason but that could wait.

Dumbledore surveyed her again for a second, then smiled. "I have to say, I commend you, Miss Evans. Three Death Eaters on your case and you held them back for such a long span of time! "

"D-Death Eaters?" she stammered, and her void cracked from lack of use. "But professor—"

"They're only a bunch of teenagers, is that what you want to say?", James asked scathingly, his voice was strained, and she turned around to look at him. His face was white and his hair was a lot more ruffled than usual. There was fury in his eyes as he glared at her. "Stick up for the sodding murderers, why don't you?"

"I'm not." She turned back to their headmaster because looking at James was making her chest hurt. "I just mean ... Wouldn't that be like accusing them, Professor? It could get you in trouble."

Dumbledore chuckled." I doubt it Lily, because they themselves make no move to say that they are not. " he sighed." I asked to speak to you because I want to ask for your forgiveness. "

She looked at him questioningly.

"I am sorry, but I cannot expel them just yet."

"Albus."

"Let me finish, Minerva." He turned his attention back to a stunned Lily," I know that they deserve a lot more that expulsion for what they did, and I almost can not bear it myself, having to let them go unpunished. But before taking the final decision, I have to ask, did they say something, anything of value?"

Lily breathed in slowly. Her head was starting to spin now. Something of value? Apart from the fact that they seemed to know unforgivable curses now...

She sucked in a sharp breath.

"They know." Lily murmured, "They know about our meetings, the Defence Order."

Dumbledore leaned back and sighed. Although the order was a program from which you were free to retract at any time, Lily knew now that the second someone quit and walked out through the doors of their classroom, they lost all memories about such a gathering ever taking place.

"There's a mole in the Order." Sirius mumbled darkly, "Wonderful."

Dumbledore thought for a long time, fingering his long beard. Lily slumped at some point and fought the growing headache. Does the Cruciatus curse have side effects?

"Yes, sometimes, if performed lamely, it can give you spiffing headaches, Incoherent Mumbling disease and a lifelong craving for popsicles." Sirius rolled his eyes at her as she snapped her head up from her hands, realizing she'd spoken out loud." Can we gentlemen take her to the hospital wing now, Professor? Remus and Marlene must be going crazy."

"Yes, Yes of course." Dumbledore returned to Earth and fixed his eyes on Lily again. " Do forgive me for not giving you justice, Miss Evans. I can't let them out of my sight now that there's a chance we can find the...ah, mole, as Master Black puts it."

"Its alright." She reassured quickly." Do whatever you have to do to find this person. Or persons, whichever." She smiled at Professor McGonagall, " I'm fine."

The older woman sighed. Dumbledore got up with a clap of his hands. "Then I shall see you in no classes today, Miss Evans. Rest is imperative. And as for you young men, do not even think about extracting revenge. " His blue eyes twinkled in warning and Sirius sighed in defeat, "I mean it."

With that, Professor Dumbledore began to walk away. McGonagall lingered for a moment, eyes on Lily and then looked at the boys. "I don't suppose you three will be in class today either. Well, off to the Hospital wing, Miss Evans. I shall see you in a while." She swept off after Dumbledore.

Peter and Sirius pulled Lily up, then gently pushed her back into a surprised James, stating that he could bring her; they were too annoyed at Lily for going off alone in the first place. She wanted to argue that she wasn't a baby who needed to be looked after all the time but her head spun violently and nausea attacked her. She groaned as her head collided lightly with his chest, even that small impact making her skull nearly explode. James reprimanded Sirius quietly as he steadied her and then they walked back to the Hospital wing. The boys took a shortcut, a secret pathway through an empty portrait nearby, to get there faster and she found herself being grateful to their knowledge of the castle. No, she wasn't in that good a condition, no matter what she thought. Maybe some other curse had hit her too, something she didn't know about?

They'd barely made it inside the hospital wing when, in a flash of brown curls, Marlene launched herself at her best friend. Lily stumbled but laughed as Marlene began to mutter incoherently.

"I was so worried!" she wailed, and pulled back to get a good look at Lily. Her dark brown concerned eyes darted over her face, tracing the blood and dirt. Worry increased in her expression. "Merlin, Lily. What did they do to you?"

"Tortured her." Sirius bit out before Lily could speak," Used the bloody Cruciatus curse on her."

Marlene's eyes widened. She questioned Lily silently whether that was true and when the injured witch looked away uncomfortably, her eyes blazed and her expression turned furious, "I'm going to kill the bastards." She glowered," Bloody arseholes think they're so—."

"No." The read headed teen shook her head firmly, feeling it swim again but ignoring it. "You'll do nothing of the sort."

"Watch me."

Lily sighed as Remus walked over calmly, but the same worry etched on his face. "What do you mean, Padfoot? They shouldn't be able to do that."

"Well they did. " Sirius snapped, "And they're bloody proud of it."

"Actually, " Lily said, pushing a lock of hair behind her ears, "They weren't that good at it, I think."

The group looked at her sharply. "When you're hit by the curse," she continued, " it should be so painful you can't form coherent thoughts at all. And it all depends on the castor, how much they want to hurt you."

"You're saying this didn't hurt?" Peter looked at her in bewilderment, "Blimey, Lily—"

"No, it did." She corrected quickly, not wanting to sound like she was playing hero and downplaying the whole thing," but I was able to think and everything...so I just assumed... It wasn't that bad..."

Admittedly, she was trying to make it sound a little less horrible that it actually was, but she trailed off at the dangerous expression on James's face. Exchanging a silent conversation-glance with Sirius, he looked away from her and out of the hospital wing windows.

"What is this?" Madam Pomfrey hissed at them angrily, startling the others. "you're supposed to be resting, girl! Out! all of you. Come along, Miss Evans."

Lily began to follow the matron but then hesitated, turning back to them," Don't do anything stupid." She said, half warning, half pleading. James still refused to look at her. Her temper flared. " I mean it. Sirius, James, look at me."

Sighing wearily, he fixed his burning eyes on her and she glared at him. " Stay away from them." She turned her gaze to Sirius and Marlene," I'm Siriou— not joking." She corrected quickly, although Sirius didn't look as though he'd be making his jokes right then. Lily stepped back to get to the bed. Her head was killing her. "Watch them, Remus, please. Don't get into trouble."

And then she quickly trailed off after Madam Pomfrey.

...****...

James Potter felt sick. To his stomach. Treacle tart had never looked so unappealing.

He glanced involuntarily at the Slytherin table, and saw, to his surprise and anger, Carrow, Mulciber and Avery all sitting there, laughing, talking animatedly to the rest of the slimy gits. James felt his jaw clench. He felt so angry at the injustice of it all. Those tossers were probably recounting the earlier incident proudly. He saw Snape next to them, looking slightly alarmed, but then quickly changing his expression to a more neutral one.

And James hated him.

Any inkling of tolerance he must've felt for him flew out of the window. Stupid, cowardly arsehole, letting her get hurt despite being such close friends for so bloody long.

But then what was I doing?

No, his situation was different. He didn't even know she was going up to the sodding Owlery in the first place. If he had...

If I had?

What if he had known? Its not like he could've accompanied her. Lily would have never let him do that, she'd probably make it seem like he was being paranoid. Besides, the truth was, he hadn't expected something like this at all.

Thoughts of the vivacious red head dampened his mood again, (something new, that) and he felt his hatred for those bloody bastards flare . When Dumbledore had intercepted them in the hallway that morning, he'd been so worried, it was scary even to him. And then when they'd found her on the floor, bruised and bloody, the terror that had gripped his heart was horrifying.

He couldn't breathe. Or swallow. Or move for a second.

But then she'd stirred and the movement tore through his haze of panic. He heard Madam Pomfrey announce she would be okay, and the air rushed back into his lungs. And even though a part of him wanted to lunge at the tied up Slytherins, he found himself dropping to his knees by her head, with Sirius and Peter looking as pale as he felt. Up close, her white face and the dried blood made his stomach lurch. His chest constricted painfully.

And he had felt a fury like never before. Unbridled, powerful.

But for her sake he kept in reigned in.

Guilt and concern and rage rolled up into a huge ball inside him, like an elephant sitting on his chest. Restlessness overtook him for the rest of the day and even quidditch lost its appeal. Now that, was the mark of a truly disturbed state of mind as far as James was concerned. His eyes never strayed from the disgustingly rambunctious face of the Slytherins, again, flames of fury licking his insides.

Inexplicably, he pictured Lily glaring at him from before, in the hospital wing. His heart thudded.

God, I'm in way over my head.

"James," Marlene McKinnon nudged him from his right, " Stop it."

He snapped back to reality, blinking and glancing at her a little confused," What?"

"Mate," Sirius waved his fork at him, looking a little put out, "You've been burning a hole in Mulciber's head. Dumbledore's starting to notice."

Sure enough, James looked up startled at the Teachers table and found Professor Dumbledore's eyes on him. A beat passed. He didn't look away from the stare, trying to drill it into his head that whatever the headmaster had done, was just for the sake of a greater good, an ulterior motive. But then her face flashed before his eyes and he snapped them back onto his unfinished pudding. This is bloody impossible.

He pushed the silver bowl away, chewing his cheek. He needed to do something. Anything. Maybe get his broom out? That might help.

"Don't." Said Remus sharply as he made a move to get up. James frowned at him. " Don't what?"

"Don't go anywhere without the rest of us, Prongs. Trust me, it's for your own good."

James felt his jaw tick in frustration," Okay, I get it that she asked you to make sure I won't do something stupid but I wasn't about to strut over and attack them, Moony."

"That's not what I mean." Remus corrected swiftly." If you walk out of here right now, one of them is bound to follow you. And then they'll find some way or the other to tip you over and let's face it James, you're hanging by a thread." He sighed and rubbed his face tiredly. James realized with a pang that the full moon was nearing. "Just stay here please. Do it for Lily."

Muttering something about emotional blackmail, James sat back down reluctantly, receiving a pat on the arm from Marlene.

His thoughts strayed to Lily again and he nearly groaned. This was tiring. He needed to get a grip. I'm obviously not normal. He decided. I'm sure I'm in love at barely 17 years of age. He was sure. This was no crush. This was the real deal, as annoying as that was. It had started out small but then his affections transcended the levels of physical attraction and rooted deep into his heart. He was almost bursting with suppressed emotions, if he was given the chance, Lily would be the most cherished female on the planet. People wouldn't die for their crushes, but he'd do it in a heartbeat.

Sap.

But true.

The only thing is, she needed to return the sentiments. Now that, he wasn't very confident about. She was swaying, yes, he could see that. But she was nowhere near what he felt for her...so no way. He wasn't taking any chances. James had had one too many rejections from the only girl that had ever mattered.

It bruised his confidence a little.

They left a few minutes later as a group, not getting a chance to see Lily because Madam Pomfrey had been very strict. Bidding goodnight to Marlene, the boys left for their dorm straight away, not having it in them to face the enquiries of the common room. Night found the group of young men doused in gloom. Remus was trying to read, but his concentration slipped every now and then, as suggested by his fidgeting. Sirius was staring at the map for no reason at all, tracing the pathways of random students, his eyes fluttering to the hospital wing quite frequently. Peter was munching on some chocolate, watching his friends one by one, worriedly.

James was the poster child of restless anxiety.

"Ugh, I can't take it." Sirius dropped his head into his pillow harshly. Remus looked up from his book, Peter's small eyes flickered over to the mop of ebony hair. James spared him a glance.

Sirius pulled himself up and went over to their cloth hanger, shuffling through the millions of cloaks hung there, finally grasping the one he was looking for.

He threw the balled up shimmery, silky material at his best friend's head. James Potter's upper body disappeared.

"Go already. " he plopped down next to James, who was wrenching the invisibility cloak from his face, "Go see her. Do something. Just don't be like this, Prongs. Its driving me crazy ."

"Be like what?" James muttered folding the cloak, feeling the silky material slip under his fingers, "I'm fine."

"No, you're abnormal." Sirius thrust the map at him as well, "Just go and make sure she's alright, which I'm positive she is, but it'll make you feel better, mate."

"She'll kill me, Padfoot."

"Nope." Peter piped up," I think she'll be quite pleased. And even if you're not sure, she doesn't have to know you're in there."

"I am not about to do something as creepy as that!" James exclaimed, throwing the cloak back at Sirius," I'm fine, I told you. You idiots are making it sound like I'm dying or something."

"James," Lupin sighed, fixing him with a weary frown, " We've been with you for 6 years, mate. You'd think we know you by now."

Sirius nodded wisely." Indeed, Prongsie. You need to do something about this...this restlessness of yours. I'm sure seeing her better will make it alright. You're just jumpy because the last time you saw Lily bean, she was..."

"Tortured and battered and bloody." Finished Remus because Sirius suddenly looked grave. He fixed James with a hard look. "He's right for once, Prongs. Go."

James eyed his best friends, all of them sporting the same stubborn look on their faces. The prospect of seeing Lily did put his mind at ease, they were right. Maybe he should sneak away for a while. Of course, make sure no Slytherins were hanging around the hospital wing corridor. He snatched back the map and cloak from Sirius and faintly returned the grin his best friend bestowed upon him. Murmuring that he'd be back quickly, James disappeared under the shimmery material and the boys saw the door open for a second, and then shut softly.

Sirius sighed and dropped onto his best mate's bed. "Well... I never expected James to... to.."

" Fall in love?" Remus asked, almost calm now as he opened his book again and fished through the pages, " Yes it's quite surprising. I had initially thought he was just kidding around with Lily. But he's in deep."

"Waaaay too deep." Peter nodded.

"Sometimes I feel like I've lost him," the ebony haired wizard reached out a hand for something only he could see. "But its amazing isn't it? "Sirius muttered softly, a rare moment of seriousness on his face. And then scowled at himself, muttering something about turning into a pansy and quitting it before he started painting his toenails and that James's sappiness was starting to rub off on him. But inside, the runaway wizard was incredibly happy for his best mate; things like this didn't come around in everyone's life. Remus hummed his assent to the previous statement, smiling. It really was bloody amazing. He only wished James would stop torturing himself and open his freaking eyes.

And firmly acknowledge the way his fellow prefect turned red in The Chaser's presence.

Look around, James. He thought wearily. Just take a leap of faith.

...****...

James wasn't expecting her to be up so late. But he was glad she was. Peeking in on her when she was asleep would be..creepy.

Lily had her nose buried in a book, reading by her wand light. The curtains around her bed were not completely closed so he didn't have to go far to see her. In the dim lighting if her wand, Lily looked a lot better than before and, Sirius was right, he felt the load in his chest lighten. His lips curved into a grin as she frowned at the book for some reason. Lily was looking and acting more like herself now, and it was a welcome relief.

He stepped forward, contemplating whether or not to reveal himself or just go back. But that was when she snapped her head up and then looked straight at him. Only, she couldn't see him. She shouldn't be able to.

Frowning, Lily lowered her book and readied her wand. Her eyes darted around the place, bright and alert, and James suppressed a laugh. Channelling his inner marauder, he crept forward soundlessly, her pale face coming into closer view. There were suspicious pink lines on her forehead and cheek, he suspected they were the scars, but other than that, she looked fine. And a little heart stopping in the moonlight from the windows but he pushed that thought away. As he inched closer, her face grew more determined and stern, and he swallowed another laugh. Pointing his wand at her bedside table, he made the goblet on it wobble.

Lily jumped. And then proceeded to quickly catch the metal container as it fell. Now, the defensiveness in her eyes had disappeared and she looked simply weary. He realized she'd probably figured it was one of them.

An attacker wouldn't be stupid enough to topple over a tumbler.

"Alright." She whisper-hissed. "Who is it?"

He chose not to reply and instead, simply made her get-well-soon box of Bertie Botts(Courtesy Remus) fly around her head, a few beans spilling onto her lap. Lily lunged at it, but it slipped her fingers, rising higher and then staying there, as if waiting for her to attack.

With out warning, she tossed a piece of the candy at him and it bounced off the cloak. Lily smiled.

"Alright James," she murmured, "Let's see that face of yours."

He lowered the box onto her lap before pulling the cloak away, grinning at the exasperated witch. She shook her head, but smiled anyway, " Really? Playing around with my chocolate?"

"How'd you know it was me?"

"It was easy." She rolled her eyes, "One, your cologne is a tad too strong today. Two, It was either you or Sirius, the other two have enough sense to not wander around after dark for no reason, and Sirius would never play with candy."

"You know us so well." He smirked and plopped down on her bed, taking the box of candy from her hand. " And to think you hated us, Lily. "

"Who ever told you that?" she raised a brow," I never hated you."

"Could've fooled me."

"James," she sighed, silently marvelling at the fact that they could talk about such serious stuff so casually, rolling her eyes again," I admit you got on my nerves a lot but really, I didn't hate you. You four are the closest group of friends I've ever seen. How could I be a Gryffindor and not have a weakness for that?"

James stared at her for a moment. And then busied himself with the box, pretending to look nonchalant, but in reality, his mind was in turmoil. He pulled out a red coloured bean and surveyed it, not missing a beat as he asked her coolly," So does that mean you didn't hate me either?"

"I didn't." She confirmed, nodding. "You just had this uncanny ability to push my patience, Potter. But I did appreciate your loyalty to your friends." She saw him pop the red bean into his mouth, relaxed and cool. As if the conversation wasn't bothering him.

"So," he said, grimacing at the taste of the candy, "If you didn't hate me, then why did you say you'd pick the giant squid over this handsome marauder?"

She grinned and rolled her eyes, but her heart was beating like crazy, " The handsome marauder was too much of a child."

He snapped his head up with a triumphant smirk." I knew it! I knew you think I'm good looking! Ha!"

Lily blinked. And then punched his shoulder. James hissed and leant away from her, the box of chocolates almost falling from his lap. From the bed next to her, from behind the drawn curtains, Lily heard Angela mutter something in her sleep.

Realizing they were probably not being very quiet, James pointed his wand at Madam Pomfrey's door and mumbled the Muffliato spell, then did the same to the nearby beds. "There," he said, pleased with his work. " now we can shout and none would hear us.

And then Lily realized that this spell was probably the reason no one heard the commotion inside the owlery that morning.

"Is this another Marauder spell?" she enquired as he sat back down and proceeded to survey another bean. James gave her a surprised look. " Of course not. Lily, this is a Sni- Snape spell. I thought you'd know."

She pursed her lips and snatched the box from him, popping a piece into her mouth without caring what it was. Mistake. It was red chilli. Eyes watering, she handed the box back and James jumped at the tears in her eyes. Alarmed, but sad that she still had such liking for Snivellus, he reached over and wiped away a tear. He thought her skin was like cotton, soft... Sonot good for my state of mind.

"What's wrong?! Sweet Merlin, Lily, he's not worth all this—"

"Chilli flavour." She pointed to her mouth and he deflated, looking relieved. James handed her the goblet he'd tipped over before, after filling it with water. "Honestly Evans, you and your misleading ways."

She raised a brow at him from behind her glass. Swallowing, Lily placed it back on the table and sighed as her tongue cooled down. Inexplicably , she remembered a biology class from her littler days which said that 'spicy' was just a burning sensation and not a real taste like sweet or sour. " What misleading ways? I'm the most non-misleading person there is!"

"Right." James smirked," because that's a word."

She narrowed her eyes at him. It was just like James, to prance in at the most unexpected of times and then send her heart flying and then irritate her the next second. He was pretty talented. "What are you even doing here, Potter? What's with the sneaking out today?"

"I came to see you, obviously." He said seriously, putting away the box onto the table and facing her, eyes intent on her face. She felt her neck grow hot, and thanked her stars it was dark. James seemed to be scrutinizing every inch of her expression," How are you?"

"I'm good. " she managed to say, though with her heart in her throat, she wasn't expecting to be coherent.

He tilted his head slightly, noticing the redness on her face, and confused as hell as to why. He wasn't doing anything. "Are you sure? You look a little..."

"I'm fine." she insisted and worked on killing her blush— Goblin wars began in early 1600s. Lily patted his arm in reassurance. "Its going to take a little more than three moronic death eater wannabes to get me."

He grinned and took her hand in his. "That's more like it. Although, next time, try not to wander off into isolated parts of the castle at ungodly hours in the morning. "

"Yes, dad." She rolled her eyes, but her skin seared where he'd grasped it. James merely smiled wider but shifted his eyes to the half moon outside, absently playing with her fingers. Lily recognised that look. Whenever he had a lot on his mind, James always stared out a window. He wasn't really conscious he was doing it, she'd caught him unawares many times, looking forlornly out the glass panes. There was that expression again, right now, and she guessed it must be because of the silvery sphere of light in the dark sky above, peeking from behind the clouds.

She felt a pang in her chest. The sleeping draught hadn't done wonders or anything, merely made the werewolf drowsy and lethargic. Otherwise, Remus was in as much pain as before. It broke her heart.

It must be worse for James.

Lily poked him and he turned to look at her. Operation 'Distract James Potter' had commenced. She grinned. "Tell me the craziest thing you've ever done." She adjusted herself into a comfortable position, not removing her hand from his," I want every dirty detail."

James didn't know what she was doing, or where this would end up, but he obliged to her request, shuffling through his box of crazy memories(which probably extended from Hogwarts, all the way to Japan). Without a doubt, the craziest thing he'd ever done was fall in love with the cheeky redhead on the bed, and even crazier was the fact that he'd allowed a trickle of hope to tinge his heart, what with her different attitude towards him, and the fact that they fit together like two pieces of a puzzle.

He wasn't blind. And she wasn't that good at hiding such stuff. But James always told himself not to get too cocky or hopeful. Because if things didn't go right...

He'd be crushed.

...*****...

"Oh Merlin, I have nothing to wear." Marlene McKinnon let out a moan as she shuffled through her clothes. Her tall frame was slouched over her trunk, quite a few pieces of clothing dropped carelessly on the floor around her. Lily watched as her best friend dug out yet another violet skirt; violet being Marlene's favourite colour, there were quite a few articles of clothing of the same hue pooled on the floor right now. Mary McDonald looked up from her parchment and surveyed Marlene's frenzy with pity.

"I wish I could help." She said, sounding sorry," But none of my clothes will fit you." Mary was tiny. While both her friends were tall and slender, she was more petite. Marlene looked up at her for a second, tossing her a smile, but not really about to say anything.

Lily returned to her book with a small smirk on her face. It was May now, almost nearing the end of school, and Marlene had already switched from Diggory to Marcus Bolington, tall and popular Ravenclaw chaser. She had to admit, her best friend had a keen eye for popular kids. Only this time, Marlene actually seemed to like the bloke.

Abandoning her own trunk with a disgusted sigh, Marlene crawled over to Lily's and began to search through it. Lily raised her eyes from her book, fixing them on her hunched form. "Mar," she said, voice full of warning ,"If you make a mess out of my clothes, I swear—"

"Don't get your knickers in a twist, I'll be all neat and tidy." She responded immediately, as if this was a regularly repeated exchange. "Instead of just sitting there, Lily, why don't you come over and help me?"

"Because you don't need it," said Lily, placated by the other girl's promise and returning to her book. She flipped a page softly, "Marcus has been trying to get you since, what? Third year? I doubt he's going to care what you look like."

"That story sounds awfully familiar." She retorted, head now immersed in the trunk so her voice was a bit hollow," Hasn't James been asking you out since the same time?"

"No, I think that was fifth year." Mary frowned at the ceiling, as if trying to remember. Lily had gone very quiet," He's been a lot calmer this year hasn't he Lily?"

The red headed girl nodded, her mouth suddenly dry. Her friends knew about her predicament, her fascination with James and her attachment to the Marauders. But Lily was having a really tough time. Finding out that she wasn't getting over him anytime soon, and that she was in way over her head, she had resigned to her fate. If indeed, she did love James Potter, there was nothing she could do about it.

He was dating Clara Louis.

Lily had initially jumped at the idea, hoping she'd be able to get over him now that he had moved on to someone else, but he'd been dating the girl for three months, and try as she might, Lily was getting nowhere. Now crushed, there was a low period in her last month when she'd thought that there was definitely something wrong with her. Maybe she talked too much... Or maybe it was her temper. Her hair was too red? Or...of course, it must be her eyes. They were a little too green anyway. Clara was the epitome of loveliness. Tall, thin, with amazing legs and a smile to die for, she had straight black hair, and such beautiful blue eyes.

But once Marlene had giver her a good hair yanking, and an angry glare, Lily realized she was thinking rubbish about herself over some boy. Albeit, a boy and she was sure she was in love with but that was no excuse! And she broke out of her stupor, emerging as the old, confident Lily...who now continued to be largely affected by James but refused to do anything about it. She had to get over this, she would.

Not.

But as a result of his new relationship, her friendship with James had grown a bit strained. They were no longer as comfortable around each other as before, largely due to the fact that she just couldn't bear to look at him and see Clara at his side. She had nothing against the girl, but that didn't stop her heart from shattering. Strangely though, James never seemed to bring her around when they were all hanging out together, he never brought her to their special Lily-Marauders time. And Lily thought maybe he knew how pathetic she was being and decided to be a good boy and not crush her again and again.

Sirius, bless him, had sensed her plight. He wasn't very good with words but one night, when she was having a horrible week with everything that was going on and was nearly in tears, as she worked into the dark on her homework, he'd climbed down the stairs and sat down next to her and then gave her a big hug, and declared quietly, "Prongs is an idiot. A bloody sardonic fool." She'd felt better immediately, not surprised and not caring that he knew, and they'd spent a good few hours munching on chocolate, Sirius telling her awfully embarrassing stories of himself, steering clear of the dangerous topic that was James Potter.

Lily winced as a black shirt landed on her face sharply. Marlene was standing in front of her, hand on her hips, glaring, as if she knew what she was thinking about. Lily flashed her a grin to show she was just fine. Daggers receding, Marlene stepped back and looked at both the girls back and forth.

"Well?" she did a little twirl, the violet plaid skirt spinning rather attractively around her shapely legs. Mary nodded appreciatively, and Lily gave her a thumbs up. An idea popping into her head, she got up and proceeded to search for a piece of clothing she knew she had, pushing away all other thoughts. Screw James. She was going to be the best friend she should be right now.

Lily held up her white, off shoulder top with a glint of triumph in her green eyes, and Marlene squealed.

"Marcus is going to faint once I'm done with your hair." She said, fingering her wand lovingly.

Back in the Marauder HQ, Sirius was pacing across the room. James was sitting on the bed, watching his best friend wear out the soles of his feet, absently changing his bedside lamp into a hat and then back again repeatedly. Remus had gone to talk to Madam Pomfrey. Tonight was the night, that painful night each month. But that wasn't the reason Sirius was pacing like a new father waiting for his wife and baby to come out of the labour room.

"You're crazy." He stopped in front of James suddenly and glared at him, " You're out of your mind, James."

" I heard that the last twenty times you've said it." James rolled his eyes, but an underlying exhaustion in them. "Doesn't change anything, Padfoot."

"Like hell it doesn't." Sirius gave a very dog like growl. " I told you, I told you it wouldn't work, but you just couldn't listen to me."

James looked away from him and focused on his lamp/hat. He was in no mood to listen to Sirius pull the 'I told you so!' card. Frustrated as it is, he had no wish to respond to his best mate's accusations.

He had made a mistake, yes. Foolishly thinking going out with someone else would help him get over a certain vivacious red head, he'd given it a try. He'd been trying the last three months.

Instead of working, the plan backfired.

He was disgusted at himself because he was always looking for a trace of Lily in Clara, anything to go on with. And he was even more mortified when Lily became rather guarded and closed off around him, pulling away. Sirius had told him repeatedly to break it off, stop this idiocy, with Remus glaring in the background, but he'd pushed on, hoping to give himself a real break. He had almost been bursting. If he had to be around Lily, and still reign himself in, then someone needed to give him a sleeping draught because that seemed like the only way he could stop himself from letting hope smack him straight in the chest each time she smiled at him, or flushed at his touch. It was driving him insane.

But once he began dating Clara, he'd backed off because of his conscience. He couldn't act like that around Lily when he was dating someone else. Gryffindor chivalry kicks in, you know? No light flirting =No blushing Lily= No problem for him.

Oh how wrong he'd been. He realized he'd take the whole nearly bursting with feelings state than this.

Lily refused to meet his eyes, refused to look at him properly, and they'd drifted apart a little.

Tortuuuure... sang his inner voice.

And so, after weeks of careful pondering, James had decided to break it off with Clara, not wanting to continue this insincere relationship any longer. He was not that much of a sadist. The only problem here was, Clara would, supposedly throw a fit. That's what Sirius's sources said anyway.

He shuddered to think who those sources were.

"Prongs." Sirius called, and James looked at him reluctantly. " She's going to be horrendous."

"I realize that, Padfoot."

"How are you so bloody calm about this?!"

" I might just have a plan." James lied smoothly, and winked. " Its not going to get as ugly as you think."

"Did you just wink at me, Potter?"

James rolled his eyes. Any further rebuffing was cut off by the sound of the door opening... and Remus walked back in, looking pale and gaunt. Eyes bloodshot.

"I see I've travelled back in time," he said, voice hoarse. "Sirius is still standing where he was an hour ago."

The other two Marauders ignored his attempt at a light-hearted conversation and scrambled over to help as the werewolf stumbled, both of them looking as pained as he felt. Lupin didn't like it, the fact that they felt so much about his own agony. Sometimes, he wished they weren't so connected, sometimes he wondered what he'd do without them. The two concerned wizards helped him onto his bed.

"I'm fine, you fools." He murmured," Not the first time this is happening. James, I saw Louis outside the portrait hole. Are you...?"

"Yes, sir." James straightened, and then changed the colour of his shirt with a wave of his wand, to make it look like he'd made an effort. "Are you sure you're alright, Moony? Maybe I could—"

"Just go already," the prefect groaned, " Stop torturing Lily. Go."

James sighed at that and shook his head, glancing at Sirius as he slipped their mirror into his pocket. It was a silent command to alert him if there was any problem. Sirius nodded discreetly.

James made to step out then, clapping Remus on the shoulder, accepting their wishes of Luck with a cheery wave, and took a deep breath, steeling himself. He had absolutely no plan, and was throwing himself to the blast ended skewrts so to speak. But if it helped his condition, then so be it.

He descended the steps slowly, in no hurry at all, and then froze as he heard her voice floating up from the common room.

"... look fine! Stop being such a baby McKinnon. Get your arse out there before I do something drastic."

He heard a nervous mumble of a reply from, probably Marlene, and then Lily groaned, proceeding to talk in a lower voice. After a moment, his legs carried themselves forward. It had been three days since he'd seen her properly and his heart was doing jumping jacks at her voice.

James walked into the common room to see it nearly empty. It was a Hogsmeade weekend, a Sunday, and most of the students were out and about in the village. His eyes landed on Marlene, who was looking very good by the way, but then, as usual, his gaze was torn towards the redhead in front of her. Lily was in her casual clothes, her hair pulled back into a long ponytail, side fringes whispering against her forehead. She pushed them away irritably as Marlene muttered something again, looking slightly harassed. Realizing he must be getting late, he forced his mouth open, although he wasn't done taking Lily in. Three days too long, that was.

"McKinnon." He greeted smoothly and she swept her head in his direction. Lily stiffened, but turned around slowly.

"James," said the brunette, the panic leaving her eyes and she fixed him with a cool, almost too cool, gaze. His eyes flitted over to Lily, and that turned out to be a big mistake because she was looking very pretty today. Or maybe he just felt so because he hadn't seen her in so long. He tore his eyes away and fixed them solely on Marlene. But the sly smile on that girl's face threw him off.

"Where are you going, Potter?" she asked, crossing her arms, raising a brow. A picture of coolness, so different from until a second ago. Girls.

"I'm just... stepping out." He said lamely. "You're all dolled up. Looking good, I might add. Date?"

She nodded, deflating a little at the mention of her plans for that evening. Lily sighed exasperatedly, " You're running late, Mar. Just go already. Don't keep him waiting."

"Right." Marlene said, dropping her arms back to her sides, but making no move to leave. Lily glowered.

"Marlene Mary McKinnon—"

"Alright, alright. I'm leaving. Sheesh!" she spun on her heel and proceeded to the portrait hole, "Don't wait up for me Lily. Bye James."

"Good luck, McKinnon."

Lily rolled her eyes as Marlene disappeared through the hole. Realizing she was left alone with a certain chaser, she swallowed the jitters and pulled forth a cool attitude. She wasn't about act like a sodding teenage girl. Anymore.

Okay, she was trying but you can't always help how you feel! At least she wasn't spending her time either giggling over him or crying over him like some... some... Ugh. She didn't even want to think about that... girls like her roommate Dora. Nope.

Be independent. Never cry for yourself. That was her policy, something her dad followed and she'd inculcated from him. There would be no shedding tears unless it was absolutely unbearable.

Spinning around, Lily saw James already looking at her. She raised her eyebrows, " Date night, James?" She crossed her arms and shifted her weight onto one leg. "You're all dressed up." Sarcasm was dripping on to the floor.

"Kind of..." James answered uncertainly, not knowing what to say. His hand flew to his hair.

Lily frowned as if remembering something " But isn't tonight...?" her voice dropped. He nodded, serious now. "How is he?"

James swallowed, a flicker of pain on his face. "Not very good. Padfoot's watching him. I'll be back before sunset, though."

She nodded slowly and then registered his appearance. That wrinkly top looked familiar. In fact... She smirked at him, " Who are you trying to fool any way, Potter? That's your pyjama shirt."

He looked down at it, surprised for a second and then slowly grinned at her, " Not you, apparently."

She sighed and took her wand out of her back pocket, and proceeded to trim his shirt here and there, smoothening the creases and adding a sharp blue hue to it, making it look more presentable, all the while avoiding looking at his face. He grinned his thanks.

"I'm going to go see Remus." Lily said, finishing up, not meeting his eyes now. James watched as his sleeves pushed back on their own. " Have fun."

"Thanks, Lily."

She didn't give the gap for an awkward pause or anything and left right away up the stairs to the boys dorm. He watched her long red locks dance tantalisingly as she whipped out of sight, and then took a deep breath. Calming his pounding heart, clearing his head. He had a job to do.

Lily bounded up the stairs two at a time, wanting to just get away. What was she thinking? Making him look good for his date with someone else when her own heart wouldn't stop pounding at the sight of him? Bloody insane, I am. Coming to an abrupt stop in front of the mirror outside the Marauders' room, she caught her reflection, green eyes a little dull, lined with emotional exhaustion. Otherwise, she looked just fine. Lily narrowed her eyes at her image. Of course she was alright. Why wouldn't she be? There were bigger things in life than this, she set her expression, dignity intact, chin up, determination seeping into her green orbs. She would be fine with or without Potter.

Will you, now?

Cursing her inner meek alter ego, she tore away from the mirror and knocked on the door. Faint shuffling came from inside, a bark of laughter, and then she heard the lock unclick. Sirius stood on the other side, looking worn out, but expression morphing into surprise as he took her in.

"Lily-bean!"

"Padfoot." She returned with a cheeky grin, having gotten used to calling them by their Marauder identifications by now and feeling infinitely better. Her eyes peeked over his shoulder and saw a lump on one of the beds, stirring. Sitting up, she realized.

Sirius stepped aside to let her in. The room was a mess. Their cloak hanger was overflowing with all sorts of clothes and uniforms and... was that a Christmas hat? Beds unmade, floor littered with chocolate wrappers, and books in disarray. She sighed exasperatedly. Boys could be such pigs sometimes. Seeing something move out of the corner of her eye, she twisted to see Remus, looking terrible. Lily rushed over to push him back down on the bed; he'd been trying to sit up. His face was gaunt and pale, but eyes slightly wider, frantic, with a touch of something wild in them. She'd never seen the usually calm and collected Lupin this way. It was very unnerving. But underneath the wolf trying to tear out of him shone the real Remus, quiet and sweet, trying to overcome the animal inside.

Lily barely noticed Sirius coming over to stand next to her, she was too distracted by the stinging behind her eyes. It was so unfair. He'd done nothing to deserve this. Silently wishing hell on Fenrir Greyback, she pushed away the sandy brown locks falling onto his damp forehead. Remus closed his eyes at her touch, but she could see his eyeballs darting around from behind his lids, veins in his neck pulsating at an abnormally quick pace.

"Lovely to have you Lily," he croaked," But you shouldn't have seen me like this."

"Hmm?" she feigned confusion even though they all knew she understood what he was talking about. "Seen you like what?" she proceeded to run her fingers through the front part of his hair, combing them away to the side. It made him look a little more like himself. " You look every bit as dashing as usual, Remus. Maybe a bit Wolfy, but still dashing. It's true," she insisted at his strained laugh, " its the new in thing, the whole animalistic look. Very sexy. Look at Sirius. He looks a lot like a dog."

"You find dogs and wolves sexy." Sirius said," Maybe we should get a...what's that thing muggles do...oh! A restraining order."

"Ha-Ha." Lily supplied, sitting on the edge of Lupin's bed, still lightly stroking his hair away. She remembered Remus once telling her the first time she'd done this, that his mother used to do the same thing back when he was a lot littler, and it made her feel a sort of warm satisfaction that something like this small gesture probably elicited happy memories of a safer time, when life wasn't complicated by the misfortune now inside him. Her eyes darted around the room again in an attempt to distract herself, and her uneasiness grew at each little thing out of place. She frowned at Sirius after her eyes had landed on their overflowing dustbin. "Don't the elves visit your room at all? Its a pigsty in here. How do you deal with this, Remus?"

"You get used to it," he mumbled, smiling and tiredly opening his eyes, rolling over to his side so her should see her properly," I try and try but these three are worse than anyone I've ever seen before."

Sirius stuck his hands inside his pockets, looking as if he didn't have a care in the world. " The elves always come, Lily-bean. We just have an exceptional talent at making things a lot dirtier than they need to be. Let me demonstrate." He tilted his head and captured her eyes, " do you find stags sexy, Miss prefect?"

"Sirius..." Remus called warningly, but Lily had ignored the question smoothly and just turned to the werewolf with an enquiry of her own. " Where's Wormy?"

"Detention." Sirius answered for his friend and tugged at a lock of her hair like a child, whining, "Lilyyyy...you still haven't answered my question."

"I'm not going to."

"Why?"

"Because its a stupid question. Now help me clean this place up. I swear there's a shrew or something hiding underneath all those clothes. When are they from? First year?"

"Smells like it." muttered Remus.

"You know..." Sirius tapped his wand against his chin, lost in thought," Wormtail probably left the shrews there, that sly rat. And here I thought he wasn't getting any."

Grinning at the disgusted cries from his companions, Sirius flicked his wand and the toffee wrappers flew over and into the overflowing dustbin. "There. All done."

Lily sent him a weary glare and got up with her own wand. She pushed back her sleeves and began to conduct the mess in the room. The dustbin lit itself, but the flames didn't spread. The clothes were all being scourgified and folded, landing on Sirius bed in neat piles. She conjured up a broom and dustpan that went about sweeping the floor. The beds made themselves with another swish of her wand.

She worked for a long 15minutes, talking continuously to the boys, erupting into peals of laughter at Sirius's stupid comments every now and then (hence taking 15minutes.) At one point, as a pair of Pink boxers with hearts on it flew across the room, folding itself and adding to the pile, they'd spent a good five minutes contemplating whose it was... Remus swore it was Sirius's but the wizard in question was convinced it belonged to Wormtail. She made sure the room was squeaky clean, stating she wouldn't be able to stay in there any longer if it was dirty owing to her slight OCD tendencies and also because Remus needed a fresher atmosphere. But at times, she needed to stop and collapse on the ground from laughter. Sirius was being exceptionally quirky that evening. Even Remus was starting to look slightly better once she'd summoned from her room, some of her fresh batch of fudge from home (" Don't even think about it, Sirius. I'll rip your hands out."). The combined cheekiness and humour of Lily and Padfoot kept his thoughts away from what was to happen that night. And it did wonders to his mental health. Before they knew it, the sun was setting and Lily was finishing up her work.

Sirius was very helpful, he actually lifted his leg up for the broom and pan to sweep under his feet.

"You know... I think I understand our reception mirror now, Padfoot." Remus nodded thoughtfully. Lily ceased her efforts for a minute to look at him enquiringly. "What reception mirror?" She asked suspiciously, her mind flying to the one she'd seen outside.

Sirius snickered and pointed to another mirror hanging on the wall, right in front of where its supposed counterpart would be hanging outside. "That reception mirror. "

Eyeing the glass wearily, she raised her eyebrows, "Well? What does it do?"

"Nothing much." Remus shook his head, absently clutching the sheets tightly at a sharp piercing pain in his chest. His pulse quickened but he managed to keep his voice steady, for fear of scaring Lily. " It just indicates that someone's outside."

"Does it show you who it is?"

"No, we'd just need a peephole for that, Lily-kins." Sirius leaned back against James's pillows, grinning at her mirthfully. " This ruddy thing shows us a picture of what our visitor represents. Usually an animal."

Lily frowned, though intrigued by the curious bit of magic," You boys and your obsession with animals. Well, what did it show when I was outside?"

"A hen."

"What?"

"A hen, Lily." Sirius rolled his eyes at the mildly offended look on her face. " I figured it was because you were too chicken to...do certain stuff, like...I dunno, tellProngs a few specific things." He rolled his eyes again at her glare. "Although, Moony, what did you make out of it ?"

"Mother hen." Remus tried for a smile, but winced as his body failed to keep up with his light spirits," I just thought that's what it signified. You're a mother hen to this unruly bunch of troublemakers Lily."

She laughed quietly, actually getting the idea. She did fret over them a lot, and they always felt like a part of her that was just waiting to come out. Lily still scolded them, sometimes yelled at them for doing stupid things without realizing the seriousness of it. Even though they suspected she might not trust them with mature decisions just yet, The four Marauders loved the fact that she fit in perfectly. And Lily in turn held them a lot closer to her heart than she would know. Still smiling at the weird contraption, she resumed the final touches to her little activity.

"You're putting the elves out of commission, Evans." Said a laughing voice from the doorway.

The broom wobbled unsteadily. The dustpan hit the floor for a second. The fire flamed dangerously.

Then both the objects straightened themselves as their conjurer caught her wavering concentration.

James walked in coolly, surveying the change with an impressed look on his face. "Nice work, Lily. I see you're cut out to be a house elf yourself."

"Shut it, Potter." She mumbled irritated, indeed quite annoyed at him for making her lose her frame of mind so obviously. " Why are you back so early?"

"Early?!" he pointed to the windows with a raised brow, "Missing something, aren't you?"

She blinked, only now acknowledging the orange glow in the room. The sun was setting outside and from their window, she saw other students as specks on the road, trudging back to the castle, a brilliant orange-yellow backdrop against their silhouettes. Lily turned back to the boys, looking surprised," Well, I certainly lost track of time."

"Yes you did." Said Sirius, looking surprised himself," We all did, apparently. Wow. The things a few sexy animals can do to you, huh Lily?" a cheeky grin and a wink flew at the red head. She blocked them by sending a glare full of warning his way, as James frowned in confusion." What's this about sexy ani—"

But a groan of pain had all three of them freeze, eyes wide. Remus had doubled over, clutching his stomach.

James saw Lily's green eyes widen even more in worry and he locked his own orbs with Sirius. She needed to get out of there. The rest of the evening would be a scramble for the invisibility cloak and a mad rush to get their timings right. Her face was a already paling as she took in their friend's condition. She didn't need to get caught in that. She wouldn't. He wouldn't let her.

"Time to go, Lily bean. " Sirius muttered as Remus fell back on the bed with a contorted sigh. She swallowed, still staring worriedly at Lupin. And then her eyes snapped to attention, alert again. James was expecting to see pain in them, and he did, but he also saw another emotion. Lily nodded understandingly, eyes flickering to both their faces one by one.

" Be careful."

Her tone was laced with worry, but also a comforting strength in it. It was trust, they realized. She trusted them enough to let them do what they were about to, something the old Lily would never have done after seeing the gravity of the situation for herself. Warmed considerably, they both smiled at her. She returned the favour.

Before making her way to the door, she paused hesitantly at Remus's side, crouched by his bed. His eyes flew open and he gave her a look. " I'm okay. Don't look at me like that."

"Like what?" she tried for a lighter note again," I was just admiring your dashing wolfy looks Remus, don't forget. " She smiled at him warmly as he chuckled. " Have fun chasing rabbits."

"I will." He muttered, then sighed, smiling at her as brightly as he could manage despite the pain he was in. " That was one of the best pre-monsteration evenings I've ever had. Thanks, Lily."

"I bet the fudge helped." Sirius mumbled sulkily from the background and James let out an incredulous gasp. " There was fudge involved!?"

Rolling her eyes at the two of them, she got up with a final squeeze to her fellow prefect's hand. Her heart ached considerably for the unfortunate young man, so much she wanted to cry. Seeing it for herself, what it was like to prepare to change into a rampaging animal, something over which he had no control...it broke her heart a little. She doubted she'd get any sleep that night. It would be impossible to go back and sit inside her room doing nothing while they were all out there and Remus was in such pain. Lily admitted she was awfully awed by the boys' strength of mind. Her stomach was starting to clench in worry already.

"Send me a message somehow if you need anything." She said to James and Sirius as she walked away towards the door.

"And what will you do?" James raised his eyebrows questioningly ," If you think we're about to let you come along like this is a field trip where we learn about werewolves and unicorns by seeing them in flesh and everything, then—"

Her eyes flashed. He fell silent.

" I just meant, I could get you out of trouble inside the castle. If someone catches you or something. Watch what you're saying, James."

" And how will you do that , Lily-bean?"

"You boys seen to have forgotten I'm a prefect. I can bend a few rules. Just... be careful, okay?" she glared at them, " If you don't come back in one piece, all four of you, I'm going to murder you lot. "

"Yes ma'am." Sirius saluted. Lily mellowed, worry lighting her features again, and she sighed and turned on her heel with one last glance. "See you boys."

"Don't wait up for us either Lily." James called, and she gave him a small smile as she left. The reappearing frown on her face, however, told him she was far from a peaceful state of mind. Most likely, they'd find her back in the common room at one or two in the morning, out of her mind with concern.

He fought back a sigh. The room turned darker as she left. Was that just the sun setting?

"Alright Remus," he spun around, clapped his hands together, facing his two best friends with determination dancing in his eyes. James rubbed his palms together in a wicked manner, trying to lighten the situation as usual, " Let's see how many rabbits you nail today."

...****...

"How long before we can get back?" Avery murmured to Snape irritably. " Looking at this old cow is making me want to gag." He said, referring to their Care of Magical Creatures professor. Snape took one look at his battered old watch, and muttered back," Ten minutes, Avery. Now shut up, she's looking over."

The Slytherins were all doing extra work, partly because all of them had failed their CoMC test last week, and also because they had spent the last lesson picking a fight with the Ravenclaws... It ended ugly and hence this. Bitter about losing a Hogsmeade weekend, they had been at it since the afternoon. Now, the sun was setting fast and it was beginning to grow dark.

"...and I hope you've all copied down the uses of Grindylows I just gave you. I want a two feet essay on their characteristics and specialities on my desk by Monday." Professor Birdingham glared at them all as if to say ,' or else...' . "Now, you may go back. Class dismissed. Do not linger around and cause trouble. Go straight to your dorms, go on."

"Well about ruddy time." grumbled Avery, waddling back towards the castle with Snape. The students clad in green and silver scarves trudged towards their dorms, mumbling bitterly, cursing the professor, alleviating their feelings by blasting hedges into shreds and sending a jinx or two flying the way of innocent students who were rushing back to their dorms. Curfew had been tight. They were expected to be in their common rooms by 8: 30. Severus barely paid any attention to Avery's rambling and cursing, choosing to glance around at the others hanging around the corridor instead. His head was pounding with an incoming headache, and the baritone voice in his ear, yapping away, wasn't helping.

"I need to take a detour." He cut Avery off, mid rant, in a monotonous tone, so characteristic of Snape. " I shall see you at dinner. " And then he promptly swept away, leaving behind a pissed off Avery.

Well he could go stick it.

Ever since the whole Lily-episode, Severus had been a little colder towards his fellow students. He couldn't call them his friends; the only person worthy of that title was now disgusted with him.

Snape snorted, pushing the thought away. What friends? That was nothing but a silly concept, a mere waste of time. Even though Lily had been different, she had shown him that nothing was constant in his world, not his family, not her, nothing. The only steady thing in his life was his intelligence and talent. And power. Ambition.

His onyx eyes fell on the tall figure of Sirius Back.

A sneer twisted his lips automatically, as he took in the other wizard's carefree demeanour. But what was he doing here in an empty corridor without his entourage?

Sirius's eyes landed on him as well, and hostility spiked into life in them. "Lost, Snivellus?"

"Alone, Black?" he drawled back, slowly coming to a halt. The usual fire burned in his veins, hands twitching to blast the idiotic blood traitor to oblivion.

Sirius smirked at him calmly, leaning against the wall. "Hardly Snapey. You should know when a person looks lonely. Seen Lily lately? No?"

Anger marred Snape's features and he glared frostily at the other boy. " Getting a little cocky just because you've finally gotten a little close? Potter doesn't stand a chance with her, Black. Don't pretend you care about her when all you're trying to do is pathetically attempt to get that tosser in her good books."

Lies. Such lies. He saw the way Lily acted around these fools. He saw it and it hurt. Because she adored them, and they loved her.

Sirius Black stepped forward menacingly, looking like he would soon burst with barely contained rage, looking pained in the eyes." And who the fuck are you to even take her name, you filthy arsehole? Where the Hell were you when she was nearly tortured by your little group of Death Eaters?"

That stung considerably. Still a sore spot for him, Snape had never actually gotten to the part of pondering that situation. He always ran away from it, afraid of what he would find. Admittedly, he was furious they tried something like that on her. He was even more furious with himself because he'd known they were planning to catch her in the owlery, having overheard her plans. He hated the fact that he did nothing to stop them, that he'd voluntarily put her in danger.

Was this love?

No, this was a mad rush for power, acceptance. Lily didn't want him, so where's the point in meaningless chasing?

But that didn't stop the yearning.

Hatred flaming his insides, Snape spat, " Where were you that day, Black?"

" We didn't know." The other boy growled," But you did, didn't you? You knew she would be there and still didn't stop them."

Severus realized Sirius was still very touchy about the subject. He'd never gotten this emotionally worked up before. In the dim light of the torches burning on the walls, he looked a little wild, harassed even. Not being able to take revenge was affecting Black a lot worse than the others; now that he'd gotten a chance, Sirius was beginning to lose his cool, memories from that day floating in and making his fists clench in anger.

This pleased Severus to no ends. He sneered at the Gryffindor. "And what if I didn't? What will you do about it Black? Try something and you'll be expelled for sure...don't have anywhere to run off to now that Mummy's kicked you out, do you?"

Judging by the clenching of his jaw and straightening of his form, Snape expected the wizard to attack. But instead, his eyes flitted to something over his shoulder and the grip on his wand loosened.

For a wild second, Severus thought it was Lily.

But hearing no sound, he didn't look away from Sirius's face. It could be a trick. Surprising him, Sirius merely glared, again painfully suppressing the rage, and muttered," Do you know how you get past the whomping willow, Snivelly? You put a stopper in the knot at its base. Silent but effective. And it leads straight to the shrieking shack, did you know that?"

And he briskly walked away, with one last hate filled glare. Snape frowned in confusion. He did not exactly understand what the fool had been trying to insinuate, but the Whomping willow? Doubt eating into his mind, he slowly made his way back to the Great Hall for dinner. It was not everyday Sirius Black let something like that slip. His eyes landed on the sky outside and something snapped into place.

It was a full moon tonight, wasn't it? They'd disappear again, all four of them.

Convinced that something was up, Snape planned an investigation as soon as everyone left for bed.

Sirius met Peter along the corridor as he morphed back into human form. It was on seeing him scurrying through the sides that Sirius had retreated, leaving Snape with no injuries.

"Don't you think that was a bit too much, Sirius?" Peter mumbled miserably," What if he decides to poke around?"

"Let him" growled the other wizard, still seething. Sirius hadn't been meaning to reveal the secret about the willow but he just snapped under the combined stress from Moony, and Snivellus's words and actions. All that coupled with a mention of the attack in Feb made him lose all rational thinking in a fit of anger. "I'm hoping he gets squashed by the willow."

"But Sirius..." Peter said in the same worried, but meek tone, for fear of angering his friend," What if he decides to go tonight?"

Something dropped into Sirius's stomach, suspiciously like lead. Tonight. Of course he could go tonight. " That's even better." He hissed, even though dread was making itself prominent in his heart," Maybe Moony will get him. That'll teach the git to get all high and mighty with everyone."

The shorter boy sighed. He knew his friend hadn't meant to slip up like that but what's done was done. Peter admired Sirius a lot but sometimes, he did let his temper and emotions get the better of him. Even though James had changed a whole lot, Sirius still had a bit of that impulsive streak in him. "You don't mean that, Padfoot. You don't."

Not replying to the statement, the ebony haired wizard quickened his pace, and walked off in another direction. Dinner was suddenly very unappetising. Unconsciously, Sirius chewed his cheek. He was starting to grow really worried now, Peter was right. What if Snape did wander off tonight? Again, a part of him didn't oppose the idea, it would serve him right, that tosser. But then, Lily's face flashed before his eyes and he froze in his tracks.

Oh god.

Now slightly panicking, he made his way to the great hall, ran past students who were returning to their common rooms with full stomachs. Dinner was almost over, and he needed to make sure Snape was still in there and cursed himself for not having the map with him. And for the first time, he actually hoped Snape wouldn't do anything stupid, but only because of Lily. Sirius skidded into a stop outside the huge wooden doors, catching his breath as his eyes darted around, searching for a mop of greasy hair. Very little students were still in the hall, most of the school had retired to bed. Several, out of the few girls loitering around, eyed him appreciatively. Sirius was famous for his dashing looks and his talent and charm, quite popular among the ladies just like his best mate. But today, to their chagrin, he didn't even think about tossing them so much as a wink. Breathing slightly heavily, his eyes landed on a very familiar red head, coming out with her friend, not really looking where she was going. Sirius swallowed, guilt making his stomach sore up into his throat.

And then he saw James, and a sigh of relief escaped his lips.

He watched as Lily collided harshly against his best friend, both of them crying out in pain and chiding the other, causing their audience to titter. Rubbing her forehead, she stamped his foot on the way out for knocking into her and he retaliated by very maturely making a face at her. But the smiles on both their faces told other watchful people volumes. Sirius rolled his eyes, wishing for the millionth time that they'd just get together already.

But things were never that easy.

He'd initially thought James was just kidding around with Lily; who in their right mind would go after a prefect when they were the most troublemaking troublemaker in school? Not to mention the fact that she was studious and a goody two shoes and yes, very pretty, but she would upset their rhythm.

And then, gradually, he started to realize just how fiery she was. A true Gryffindor if nothing else. Lily was brave, he could see, and stuck up for her friends a lot, even if it was Snivellus. Cheeky and funny and vivacious, she was quite a specimen, and he didn't blame James for falling head over heels. He slowly grew fond of Lily, the fact that she was the one thing that distracted James from pranks, the one person who could make him look like he'd won the quidditch world cup with just a smile, and also the one person who could crush the chaser within half a second...it all made him feel amazed. Sirius thought he'd resent her for everything, she had his best mate wrapped around her finger! James was now sometimes lost to him, and even though he liked her, Sirius couldn't initially bring himself to fully comprehend James's change in behaviour.

But then she'd become friends with him.

And he knew now why James was so enraptured.

Not that he had any romantic interest in her, whatsoever. Ugh, Merlin no. He often felt like a kid in her presence, be it when she scolded him or showered him with affection. Seeing the usually fiery Lily having a kind side, he was surprised. The girl had a bigger heart than all of theirs combined, he liked to think. The way she accepted each of them, even though tongue lashings and reprimands came their way once in a while, and the way she grew to care about the people she thought she would never befriend, it stunned the four if them. Sirius had never experienced any sort of sibling affection from his own brothers but the other three Marauders had filled that hole. And Lily... she was herself around him so easily, he often wondered why they weren't born to the same family. Except for their different looks, nothing could set them apart from being exactly like twins. She lavished him with sisterly affection, but scolded him a lot, they fought like children over something as trivial as a piece of cake(— she'd win, but then give it over to him anyway, and he'd finally split it in half and they'd both eat it with mischievous glints in their eyes with the rest of their friends groaning, "Why didn't you just do that in the first place?!") He was fiercely protective of her, as defensive as he was of the other three, and she fretted over him quite a lot. He went to her with any other problem he couldn't really ask Remus, and she always listened. They often felt like they'd grown up together; she'd told him at times that she wished they had.

Needless to say, he wasn't very fond of Petunia.

And in all this, Sirius often found himself torn between who to be there for at the same time, his best friend, or a sister?

In his own way, he loved Lily to bits.

And hence the big fucking elephant sitting on his chest, suffocating him.

Snapping out of his train of thought, Sirius saw James walking over, eyes bright and alert.

"Just saw Moony to the shack." He informed in an undertone, looking out of breath, was it due to his running or something else, Sirius didn't know." I think he's going to be okay. We need to make a move though, its getting—"

"Prongs."

James frowned at the way Sirius slowly lost the colour in his face. "What?"

"Snivellus."

"Huh?"

"Snivellus. Snape." Sirius took a deep breath, feeling like he was going to throw up. " I met him back in the second floor corridor." Seeing James's face grow increasingly confused, he took another deep gulp of air. If he didn't act soon, things could get very dangerous. And so he spewed everything in a tone saturated with regret, or he hoped it sounded like that... he wasn't still very opposed to the idea of getting Snivellus a scratch or two.

Have some shame, Black. His inner voice chided. It sounded suspiciously like Lily's voice. This is no joke. Grow up.

" James," he began again," I might've told Snape about the willow." He murmured, violent bats in his stomach. Sweat trickled down his temple despite the cool weather. " He was doing his thing again, riling me up and just being a git and I snapped. I just...I didn't do it on purpose. Or maybe I did, I don't know. " he swallowed, cursing his foolishness as James's yes grew wider with each word. " I was trying to get him whacked up by the tree... I didn't even think that he could go exploring today."

He expected James to shout at him, maybe even curse him for being so stupid, putting Moony at risk. But instead, James ran a hand through his messy black hair and only rearranged his bewildered expression into a more serious one, making a plan, thinking over what was to be done. "Does he know how to get by?"

Sirius focused his gaze on his best friend's forehead, now overcome with shame. The disapproval and disappointment in his voice was like a dagger through his throat. He couldn't meet James's eyes. "He does. I told him."

Something flashed in the hazel eyes and they glared at him for a second. James clenched his jaw for a moment. "Well that was stupid."

"I know. And I'm sorry, Prongs but—"

The chaser shook his head quietly. " No time for that." He sighed and locked eyes with Sirius, silently daring him to look away. " We have to find him. I'll check the Willow. Go and get the map and come over. If you see Dumbledore—actually, make sure you see him, and tell him to be around the ground floor."

Sirius felt his eyes widen. Dumbledore? But he didn't question his best mate. Nodding slightly, they dashed off in different directions, hoping with all they had that things went right.

James sped through the corridor at breakneck speed, not pausing to say sorry to Sir Nicolas as he ran through him. The Gryffindor ghost looked a bit miffed but he didn't have time to care. Blood roared in his ears. So many things could go wrong tonight! Not even pausing to think about Sirius's untimely impulsiveness, he dashed into an empty corridor, pulling out his cloak and disappearing into thin air. He slowed his pace to a brisk walk, and once in the grounds, he broke into a sprint again. His shoes squelched in the mud and he slipped once but as he neared the Willow, all other thoughts left him and his blood turned cold.

The tree stood motionless, like any other normal willow, its bare branches ominous against the moonlight.

Cursing, he sped into the tunnel, clutching onto his cloak, running as fast as he could in the cramped space. How could Sirius have let this happen? But a wild surge of anger burst inside him at Snape. Stupid git nosing around in other people's business! Why the hell couldn't he just leave them bloody well alone?!

He saw the greasy stringy hair a few feet in front of him, close to the opening to the shack but not just yet. There was still hope.

James pushed past the Slytherin quietly, getting in front of him. Snape stopped, looking around wildly, alarmed at the feel of being pushed to the side, by the light of his wand. James took off his cloak and for a second, neither of them spoke. Severus's eyes tinged with realization and a sneer formed on his face. James glowered.

"Get out." He said in a clear voice. It echoed in the narrow corridor.

"I don't think so, Potter." Snape smiled tauntingly, his own voice a lot quieter and calmer than that of his enemy's." I'm going to find out what's going on once and for all. Get out of the way."

James was nearly shaking with anger. Hatred for the Slytherin spiking in his blood, he had half a mind to let him have a taste of what he was trying to save him from. Stupid git poking his nose where he shouldn't. Hazel eyes flashed dangerously. " Snape. You don't know what you're dealing with. Get away before its too—"

A shuffling sound had them both turn to look at the entrance to the Shrieking shack. Remus came into veiw, slumped over, breathing heavily. When he raised his head, Snape saw cold red eyes looking straight at him.

Wild. Animalistic. Untamed.

And then it happened. A patch of moonlight from the window inside illuminated the room ahead in which Remus had been hiding, casting a silvery glow around the hunched wizard. Snape watched in muted horror as his fellow student, the quiet and sensible Marauder, let out a bone chilling growl, convulsing in pain and then dropped to his knees. His from slowly grew in size, arms elongating, deadly claws flexing. Growls erupted from its chest, and the half human- half animal being shook its head violently as the human inside tried to fight the transformation; like it was waving away an irritating fly buzzing in its ear. A long howl escaped its lips, a strangely lonely sound.

What happened next, Snape didn't remember. One minute he was witnessing lycanthropy in all its blood curdling horror, and the next, the wolf had turned it eyes on him, not even a trace of humanity left behind those savage black orbs.

It lunged at him.

Severus remembered shouting in pure terror at the glimpse he caught of the snarling, salivating mouth and glinting claws before it became a blur of speed. He heard James shout at him to run and some part of his rational mind registered the command and for the first and the last time in his life, he listened to the Gryffindor. Running, stumbling, but still running, he whipped his head around once to see the other boy stand in the way right between him and the werewolf calmly. Something twisted in Snape's stomach.

And he saw James turn into a magnificent stag, meeting the enraged werewolf head on, holding him back with its beautiful large antlers. Claws flailed and savage growls ensued but the wolf was stuck, struggling violently, blocked by the other creature.

Snape turned and fled.

The fright making his legs pump harder than ever, he managed to reach the opening at the base of the Willow, and scrambled out in a panicked frenzy. Hands numb, heart pounding furiously, he staggered a few steps forward, away from the tree, and nearly fell over in alarm as a great black somethinh charged his way.

Some sense snapped into him, and Snape pulled out his wand, done with running. But the animal leapt past him and into the hole he'd just clambered out of.

Another thing clicked inside him.

The Marauders were unregistered, illegal animagi.

Snape stood there in the large, empty ground, panting, head reeling with everything that had happened. Of course, of course Lupin was a werewolf. How could he not have been sure of it? And they snuck out every month for this. Catching his breathing and his bearings, Snape turned on his heel and swept back towards the castle.

The fact that James Potter had just saved his life rang inside his head like funeral bells...it was the death of his pride.

Bitterness encased him.

Inside the warm walls of the castle, the torches flickered on the walls. People in portraits we're sleeping already, some of them peeked through their lashes as his shoes made sounds in the silence. Filch would be around. He'd get into trouble if he didn't retreat to the dungeons soon. Snape didn't think about what he would do, but admittedly, this was a humongous leverage against the Marauders. His heart leapt a little at the thought. But a tiny part of him latched onto the scene when Potter had put himself in danger for him.

Idiot Gryffindors and their heroism.

But that was the reason he was alive.

Slowing at a turn, he almost bumped into a hassled red head, his once best friend.

Startled, she took two steps back and surveyed him with bright green eyes, cold seeping into them. " Sev...what are you doing here?"

At the sound of his name, realization snapped inside Severus and a spark of fear tore through him. He lunged forward and gripped her by the elbows.

" A werewolf." He spat frantically. " Lupin's a werewolf, Lily. You can't keep associating with them. He'll kill—"

To his contentment, she looked incredibly alarmed, terrified even. Her bright green eyes were wide as they gazed in shock at his face, dancing in the fire.

"How do you know?" she breathed, frowning worriedly, "Severus, please. How did you find out?!"

Snape gaped at her. She wasn't surprised or appalled in the least. Lily was looking more alarmed at the fact that he had found out. "You knew?" he choked, suddenly unable to understand," You knew and you still stood with them?!"

Her eyes narrowed dangerously at him and she broke out of his grasp. Now cold and unfriendly. "Not all of us are like you, Severus. I can't just abandon people because they're not socially accepted."

" I told you that was a mistake."

" I'm not talking about myself. I couldn't care less what you think about me."

He glared at her and she glared back, hands balled into fists. And despite the dislike flowing from her eyes, he felt drawn to them again. Like a moth towards a flame.

"Stay away from them Lily. It's for your own good."

"Don't tell me what to do, Snape." She growled," The only staying away I'm doing is from you."

" Fine, be that way! When you find yourself bitten or scratched or killed, you'll learn!"

Lily opened her mouth furiously to retort but then her eyes caught something over his shoulder and all the colour drained out of her face in one go. Green eyes widened in horror, and Snape whipped around, half expecting to see a werewolf standing there but instead, he saw his saviour from a while ago had emerged round the corner, even though that title made him want to tear his hair away.

James was bloody, that was the only way to describe him. Gashes across his chest, arms and cheek made it obvious that Remus had been violent that night. His shirt was doused in red, face white, but still standing firm with his wand out. "Glad I caught you Snape. We need to talk."

" Oh God." A strangled whisper escaped her lips and snapping out of her shock, Lily pushed past her former best friend and made her way towards the injured Marauder. His hazel eyes flickered over to her for a second but then went back to glaring at his nemesis.

Snape felt his blood boil as Lily walked away from him. " Talk?" he snarled, "You thinkI'd talk after you tried to kill me?!" To his satisfaction, Lily froze in her tracks. Elated, he continued, " If you think I'm going to let this go, you're mistaken Potter."

"You ungrateful arsehole." James muttered darkly, raising his wand, "I didn't think you'd sink this low, Snivellus. But some things never change. " he gave a hollow laugh, "I'm going to ask nicely, Snape. Forget what you saw."

The situation sank in for Lily, she understood the last bit. Snape was there when it happened. James must've gotten hurt while trying to save him. But was that really a possibility?

Would he put his own life in danger to save Snape's?

She knew James well enough, but the answer to this question didn't come as easy. The hostility between them was too much.

"I don't care if you've saved my life, Potter." Snape spat bitterly, immediately cursing himself in his head for saying that out loud. Lily felt her eyes widen. Her question had answered itself. "Your other bleeding idiotof a friendgot me into this mess."

" He did?!" James raised his voice, " You would've been fine if you knew where to stick that nose of yours, Snape."

She merely gaped at James with wide eyes. Lily had been watching him with a new light in her eyes. The fact that he'd saved Sev, he'd saved Severus Snape, was ringing in her mind. She realized she'd underestimated James's conscience, his nobility. And she felt a vehement urge to throw her arms around the injured boy and kiss him senseless. Her heart soared with what was unmistakably strong affection for the wizard.

Elated, proud and deeply respectful, she regarded James with the most open, unguarded gaze she'd ever bestowed upon him, overflowing with the emotion inside her. She'd be damned if she doubted her feelings now. Lily had just fallen in love with him ten times over. If James had just looked at her then, he would've gotten quite the pleasurable shock.

From far off in the distance, a wolf howled.

Realization crushing her momentary happiness mercilessly, she whirled around to face Severus. Lily desperately wanted to do something about James being so bloodied but there was a worse situation here.

" Severus, " she began, pleading. Her tone worked, his eyes flickered to her. " Please. Please don't tell anyone."

"Don't beg him, Lily—"

"Shut up." She glared at James, her heart lurching as she took in the battered sight of him once more," What does it matter?" she turned back to her former best friend. " Don't do it, Sev. Please."

The young man laughed bitterly, not looking like he was going to give in at all. " I thought you were staying away from me, Lily. And now you want me to do you a favour."

She opened her mouth but nothing came out. What could she say? Cutting all ties with Severus meant she couldn't go around begging him. Why should he listen to her? She swallowed, now unable to think of what to do.

And then, literally out of nowhere, Albus Dumbledore appeared behind James, putting a soft hand on his shoulder.

" I think that will be enough, Miss Evans. "

She whipped around and felt a huge soaring relief inside her. "Professor Dumbledore." She murmured, sighing.

His electric blue eyes twinkled in the firelight, radiating wisdom. Lily felt very placated. "Will you three join me in a safer place please? I would dread to have Argus stumble upon us. We have much to discuss. Come along now."

A beat's silence and then Lily bounded forward, knowing Severus would follow, he wouldn't dare disobey Dumbledore. Now eyes on James, she tugged at his arm as he continued to stand there glaring at Snape. Dumbledore turned and walked casually, probably humming to himself. She glanced back once to make sure Snape was with them and saw his bowed head. Sighing again, she let go of James. The movement had the boy glance at her, first in surprise, then in confusion and he nudged her.

"Why are you even here?"

" Couldn't sleep." She muttered looking at his face, sideways, green eyes tracing the long cut across his face. The sight made her heart beat a little quicker. "What's all this about? "

"Sirius let it slip about the willow and the shack." He murmured, wiping the back of his hand under the cut, sounding weighed down about it. " That bloody idiot and his big mouth."

Lily didn't know what to make of that. But she figured Sirius was probably pulling a prank and didn't think things through. As usual. She swallowed a frustrated sigh. She loved that boy, really, but sometimes she wanted to throw him to the greyhounds.

" So he saw Moony?" she asked quietly.

"The whole thing." He said, sounding bitter.

" And you savedhis life?"

"I'm starting to regret it. " James growled quietly, looking back towards their headmasters midnight blue cloak sweeping in front of them. " None of this would've happened if he didn't nose in on other people's business. And don't you even think about defending him Lily."

Ouch.

"I wasn't going to." She growled back, suddenly very hurt. And mad. James recognised the look in her eyes and regretted his words immediately with a lurch in his chest as she turned away from him, closed off again, as she too fixed her eyes on their headmaster's cloak. She hated the way it stung so much that he thought she was still more inclined towards Severus. After all that had happened!

"Lily," he poked her side now looking apologetic. "I didn't mean that, I'm sorry."

She swatted his arm away but refused to look at him. James continued his ministrations. " Aw come on... I'm really sorry. Really."

Instead of answering him, she quickened her pace towards Dumbledore, not wanting to forgive James so easily. She had already given in but refused to show it. James was transparent to her, for the moat part anyway, and he did sound sincere. It was probably a silly slip up anyway. "Professor," she called, "Where exactly are we going?"

"My office of course." Dumbledore responded easily. "And we'll be right there. Come along, this turn right here."

They walked a little while longer in quiet, James having retreated sulkily, and Severus looking like he'd swallowed a lemon. Soon enough they were standing before a funny looking gargoyle who sprang into life as Dumbledore said," Jarring juices."

Bewildered at the password, the three teens followed him onto the spiralling stairs and into the office. It was not the first time any of them had been in there but that didn't stop the three of them from looking around with wide eyes. Lily felt her attention drawn to the large flaming bird sitting calmly on the desk, regarding them with kind eyes and a tilt of its head.

Fawkes.

She smiled at the sight. Always fascinated by them, Lily had never wasted a chance to take in its beauty. Dumbledore wandered over to his desk and the three of them stopped in front of it.

" What is this, Albus?!" cried Phineas Nigellus. " Potter! You're in pieces!"

Lily looked at James again remembering with a jolt that the portrait was right, only to see him rolling his eyes. "I'm fine, professor Black. Just a couple of scratches."

"Ah...but you will need to get that checked, Mr. Potter." Said the portrait of Dilys Derwent as she peered at it from her frame. " Maybe I should go fetch Poppy, Albus?"

"Splendid idea, Dilys. " Dumbledore nodded.

"Wait!" James exclaimed suddenly as the old witch got up to leave. "Don't bother, please."

The Headmaster raised his eyebrows and fixed them on the badly battered wizard. Lily however, wasn't so quiet. " Why?" she snapped, " You're not going to be of any help by bleeding James."

" I know." He said, looking at her and then at Dumbledore insistently, " But I have to get back soon."

"Are you crazy?!"

" I agree with the muggleborn though I'd rather not." Sniffed Phineas.

James shot the old portrait a glare and then directed his gaze at Dumbledore. " I have to. Remus is...not himself tonight, even more so than usual. Apparently, unpleasant surprises make him violent." He shot a scowl at Severus who looked back coldly. James then looked at Lily, willing her to understand. " Padfoot's alone there Lily. Peter's not very useful at times like this. They both need help."

That hit the mark and Lily struggled to find words. Of course he knew she'd be worried sick about Sirius, and about Remus, and he was using it against her. He saw clearly, the war waging inside her head from behind her eyes. "Can't argue now, can I?." She grumbled finally, and James gave her a winning smile.

Dumbledore chuckled to himself, completely at ease with the situation. " In that case, let us get down to business. If you will, Miss Evans, clean him up please, I think Dilys will not be able to resume her chair until the blood is gone."

Lily proceeded to do exactly what her headmaster commanded her, ignoring James's exasperated sigh. Pushing him into a chair, she pulled back her sleeves and got ready to work.

"Now, finally, Master Snape." Albus looked away from the two Gryffindors and surveyed the silent Slytherin lurking in the sides. His eyes bore through Snape's, penetrating, and Severus looked away hastily. " Have you any idea what you're going to do, Severus?"

"..."

" Hmmm? I see you have nothing to say." Dumbledore beamed at the bewildered boy. Lily looked up for a second," That in itself speaks volumes, Severus. I am content."

"You shouldn't be." Spat Snape, face now coloured. " I'm going to tell on these idiots. I can and I will." He sent a hate filled look towards James, despising the boy and the enraptured look he'd witnessed earlier in Lily's eyes. He wasn't blind. Snape had learned to read her quite well in these years. And he knew. He could see it.

It crushed him.

"No, you will not."

Albus Dumbledore spoke softly, but his words carried a quiet command in them. He wasn't asking Snape to stay quiet, he was telling him. Severus glared at the old man. "You can't stop me."

"Oh, but I can, Severus. And quite easily at that. I think I can subdue a 17year old wizard , no matter one as talented as you. But I shall not resort to any of that." Dumbledore sat down and laced his fingers together, fixing his kind, imploring gaze on Severus. He couldn't look away from those electric blue eyes. They were looking deep inside him, trying to bring out a light he didn't know was there.

Snape hated it. Bitterly, he tore his gaze away.

" Remus Lupin had been subjected to this cruel fate at the young age of eight, Severus. It was not his fault Greyback decided to inflict this torture upon him in retaliation to his father's words, who spoke up against evils. He did nothing to deserve this. And yet, here he is tonight, not even himself, overcome by a fate thrust upon him. "

Lily felt James tense under her fingers, clearly uncomfortable about having Lupin look as vulnerable as Dumbledore made him out to be. But it was the truth. She was alarmed herself, not having known the entire details of his condition. But Lily glanced at Severus and his averted gaze and tense jaw indicated he was being affected by Dumbledore's words, even though it was unwillingly. Hope fluttered in her chest.

"He lives the life of an outcast," Dumbledore continued to murmur softly, now stroking Fawkes's feathers slowly, lost in his own words. " shunned by society, by his fellow students. Confused about his humanity, suffering every month under excruciating pain. Do you know what it is like to lose yourself, Severus?" the old man raised his eyes to the younger wizard," I don't expect you to understand, but I know you will not make things worse for the poor soul. You are better than that, Severus."

Snape snapped his burning gaze up at Dumbledore and glared. " So this is what, an attempt to make me feel guilty? It didn't work."

" Severus—"

"We're in danger." He said venomously, " What do you think you're doing, letting a sodding wild animal run around in the castle?! You think people will stand for this?"

"He's dangerous?!" Lily said incredulously, " Have you taken a look at the people you hang out with Sev?"

" They don't turn into rampaging wild animals every month." He snapped back. " The students deserve to know. Then they can decide whether to keep him or not. You can't play around with so many people's lives, they'll protest."

"Not everybody will be tolerant. " Dumbledore admitted " But that's exactly why we are keeping this a secret. He will be of no harm to anyone, Severus. People will overreact if this news gets out. He doesn't deserve that. As fellow human beings, it is our duty to accept him. "

"Well I don't." He spat.

Lily felt her eyes sting. She lowered them to James's torn shirt, now blurred by tears, hoping he didn't see. But judging by the soft enquiring tug he gave her hand, she was caught red handed.

How did things end up like this? How could Severus have changed so much? What happened to them? To him? This wasn't the boy who'd assured her that being muggleborns wasn't a bad thing. This wasn't that friend she'd had, who made her realize she wasn't alone. He was nothing like the pale faced, young child who made her life better back then by assuring her she had a place among them if not among the muggles.

She had to do something about this.

"Severus," Lily straightened, looking upset. The sound of his name from her lips brought back that childhood tinge of happiness he used to feel on hearing it. "Don't be like this. This isn't you."

"You don't know me at all then, Lily."

" I get that." She stepped forward, he was startled to see the tears in her eyes. " But I used to know you. I don't know what happened to you, Sev but please think this through."

" Give me one reason I should, Lily. One good reason. You're all deceiving hundreds of parents and students."

" Oh spare us, Snape." James glared at him intensely. If looks could kill... " Its not like you care about anybody but yourself. Stooping so low for the sake of taking revenge... This is way below the line."

Snape scoffed, " Me? Have you forgotten who pulled me into this in the first place, Potter?" He spat the name, hatred saturating the word.

"Severus," Lily began again, and much to her chagrin, her voice cracked. James looked at her sharply." Don't be so heartless. You can't have changed so much! Put your pride away just this once and open your eyes."

He looked on, alarmed as she never took her gaze away from him, imploring silently. Snape tried, but he couldn't look away. He tried but he couldn't stop his wavering resolve. She shouldn't be crying.

"He's innocent. Harmless." She said quietly.

"He nearly ripped my head off my neck!" Snape exclaimed.

" That's only because you were there where you shouldn't have been, Severus." Dumbledore injected.

" Please?" Lily said again, sounding painfully like all those years ago when she used to request him to stop teasing Petunia. Funny, Lily always seemed to be protecting someone from him.

He swallowed.

"Fine." Severus snapped, cursing himself, and the whole situation. But he had to get out of there. "Fine. I'll keep my mouth shut."

"Your word, Severus." Albus said quietly.

"You have my word. " he spat bitterly, " But this isn't over, Potter." He glared at James, and then at Lily. She nearly winced at the betrayal in his eyes. But remembering the ways he'd chosen, she kept her expression neutral. " This isn't over. "

James merely glared back, trying to look angry but the relief had overtaken him, setting his mind free. And it was that which stopped him from snapping at his worst enemy. He needed to shut up to save Remus, honour Lily's efforts at convincing Snape. And shut up he will.

"May I please be excused now, Headmaster?" Snape muttered coldly, glaring at Dumbledore," I'd like to get some sleep after nearly being killed and then humiliated."

"Oh of course, Severus." Dumbledore sighed," But remember your promise."

Nodding curtly, he spun around and left briskly, robes billowing behind him. Lily watched him go, feeling very confused as to why it hurt a little to see him walk away. Losing a friend, no matter how evil he'd decided to be, would always be painful.

The sound of the door slamming shut echoed in the room, its occupants taking a moment to convince themselves that the crisis had been averted.

"Professor," James started uncertainly, looking better with the blood gone and the wounds closed. And also with Snivellus out of his sight. " Did you know... About us being...?"

"Unregistered animagi?" Dumbledore finished for him and swept his twinkling eyes over to James, " Of course I did. And I must say, hearty congratulations. I am honestly impressed."

James beamed at him.

Some of the old headmasters and headmistresses made noises of incredulity and discontent but hazel eyes locked with electric blue, silently asking the questions their light dialogues had masked. Was it alright to continue?

Dumbledore's smile told him it was.

He got up suddenly, realizing he'd spent long enough over there. His friends needed him. " Thank you, Professor." He told his headmaster, sounding truly grateful. Dumbledore merely smiled again at him and nodded his welcome. Lily sighed and looked between the two of them. " What now?"

"Now we get you back to the common room and I go back to my furry friends." James got up and stretched, wincing as the new skin became taut, " Merlin, that stings. Come on, Lily-kins. Off to the dorm we go."

She frowned as Dumbledore hummed his assent and got up to see them off. "But I can go by myself."

James rolled his eyes. Relief and reassurance had lightened the weight on his mind to a great extent. " Yes, we all know that but I'm not about to let you wander around alone. Filch will skin you alive. And besides, what kind of a gentleman would I be if I didn't walk a lady back to her dorm after such a lovely evening? Right,professor?"

"Absolutely, Master Potter." Dumbledore chuckled quietly," Off you go now."

Lily opened her mouth to protest but James had already come closer. He looked a lot better now, she saw, and felt a little light headed at everything. The signature grin was back on his face and his eyes twinkled at her. Lily couldn't stop the curving of her lips. " Alright, move it woman." He instructed and steered her out by the shoulders. He looked over his shoulder at the old man and the bird. " 'Night professor Dumbledore...and all you Professors. Sleep tight."

Lily echoed him as well and Dumbledore beamed at them both. " Pleasant dreams, you two. Pleasant dreams."

"Pleasant, my foot." Lily muttered as soon as they were out of earshot. " I'm going to have nightmares. "

" Why?" James looked surprised, "You're not the one who was chased by a wolf. "

" You bloody idiot, " she glowered at him, " do you have any idea what you looked like before?! I honestly thought Moony was having you for dinner but then thought you tasted bad."

" Aw... How sweet." He grinned, making her look away as a slight blush erupted on her cheeks. Lily growled to herself, cursing her traitorous body. " I didn't know you cared so much, Lily! I'm touched. "

" You'll be punched if you don't shut up." She mumbled. " Go straight to the hospital wing afterwards, alright? Take Sirius with you. And stay there till morning. I'm not joking." She added, seeing him raise his eyes to the heavens," I don't want you anywhere near the dorms for the next twelve hours."

" Yes, Mum. " he sighed. As they rounded the last lonely corridor, James pulled out his cloak and threw it around them both. They trudged the rest of the way, whispering arguments about the way Sirius had messed up; Lily defending, James attacking. Now that was a change in character. Twice, they paused to let Mrs Norris pass, but judging by the way she had narrowed her yellow eyes at their invisible position, it wouldn't be soon before Filch came wheezing around.

Coming to a stop outside the portrait hole, James turned Lily around to face him. The fact was that they were a little too close, keeping two fully grown people under the cloak required a bit of adjustment. Her gaze levelled with his throat, he was exactly a head taller. James felt a few disobedient wisps of her crimson hair tickle the collar bone peeking out of his shirt and he bit back the urge to pull her closer, attempted to quell the swooping in his stomach.

Lily swallowed, mouth suddenly dry as he placed an unwavering gaze on her face. But she met his eyes head on, not about to act silly anymore. If her knees weakened, then she'd work on steadying them. Not bloody swoon all the time. Like hell if that was going to happen.

"Listen," he said quietly," Go to sleep. In your dorm, not in the common room." He gave her a pointed look and continued," I promise we'll all be in the hospital wing if you agree to use your bed for once."

" Fine. " she muttered, focusing on the scar on his face," But what am I supposed to tell Clara? She's definitely going to come around in the morning and our stories need to—"

" She won't." He interrupted firmly, suddenly looking a lot like a Marauder, a mischievous glint in his eyes, and a cheeky smile on his face. She snapped her eyes back to his in confusion. " Why not?"

"We've broken up." He informed happily but hazel orbs burning as they fixed intently on her and Lily felt her own eyes widen and pulse quicken. " The best Bloody decision I've ever made till today." He muttered, smiled at her slyly...

...and leaned a tad closer.

Her heart stopped for a second. Lungs froze.

"Do you know what this means, Lily?" he murmured, so quietly, she had to strain to hear him despite being so close. His breath was wispy and warm and mildly minty against her face, sending the hair at the nape of her neck into a pleasant shock. Lily shook her head no, unable to speak because her vocal cords had suddenly left for America.

" This means..." he smiled roguishly, making her stomach lurch in a violent jolt. He was too close, way too close. Thoughts scattering to the wind under his intense gaze, she struggled to remember the context, what they were talking about, why she was here in the first place.

Her mind drew up a blank. She didn't know how to move anymore. The only thing filling them was the fact that he had specks of beautiful golden in those hazel eyes, dancing vibrantly in the dim lighting.

"...I don't have to brush my hair anymore!"

And then suddenly, the specks weren't as visible.

"... was always so adamant about that. It used to drive me crazy."

Stunned, as he grinned at her, now a good distance away from her face, as if he hadn't been millimetres away a second ago, she blinked. Did that just happen or had her crazy mind tricked her into thinking he'd been so close? Confused and disoriented, she frowned lightly at him, eyes betraying her turmoil.

James resisted the urge to break into gleeful laughter.

He'd seen her bright green eyes go wide, pupils dilate, blood colour her cheeks at his little trick. If he wasn't so worried about his own mental strength to face another probable rejection, he would've just kissed her and gotten it over with. And Merlin it was difficult to keep himself in check. Not wanting to push his luck, he pulled the cloak away and stepped back, letting her breathe. She did take a kind of obvious gulp of air, or was that his arrogance peeking out? Meh.

Whichever it was, he wasn't about to pull a stunt like that soon. Now a safe distance away, he realized how little control he had had over himself back then. Away from her intoxicating proximity, the delicious smell of vanilla, James felt his head clear, the cloudiness disappearing.

Why if he'd done something stupid?

What if it would've been worth it?

What if it wouldn't have?

Bidding a quiet goodnight, with a casual smirk that didn't quite reach his eyes, he disappeared again and rushed off soundlessly to the grounds, leaving behind a silent Lily. She turned around and mumbled the password, lying to The Fat Lady that she'd been out for prefect duties, and made her way back to her dorm. Mind still swirling with the entire events of the evening, she had a little trouble falling asleep. After all, she was worried about the boys, sorrowful over Snape, confused about James and Clara. Throwing all these thoughts about in her head, she drifted off at some point.

The next morning, Clara did not, indeed, come around. She tried not to feel too happy about that. It didn't necessarily mean anything.

"It means he's not over you." Marlene confirmed with a firm nod of her head. They were in Potions, working on a boil curing potion. Lily resisted the urge to roll her eyes. Her best friend had been going on about this for quite some time now and it was starting to get on her nerves. She might just give Slughorn a patient to treat with their potion if Marlene didn't shut up soon.

"Will you stop it?" She hissed at the other girl," There nothing going on so don't assume stuff. James is different now."

"Hmm... " she hummed," That's true. But who said it means he doesn't feel the same about you? I've seen the way he looks at you, Lils."

"You've been reading too many trashy romance novels, Mar."

"And you're being too practical." The curly haired young witch slammed her knife on the table with some emphasis, causing Slughorn to glance their way. But Marlene was giving Lily an expression of annoyance mixed with exasperation " You kneed to loosen up a bit. Its not a sin to like someone, Lily!"

"That's not what I –"

"Then what is it?" the other girl hissed. " I know you're thinking about the war outside. And its a big deal, I know. But honestly, you only have one life Lily! If you don't do it now, who knows whether you'll be alive tomorrow with all the madness going on?!"

Lily fell silent, partially because Slughorn was starting to really look at them questioningly now, and partly because she had nothing to say. Was she turning into a boring, too practical, previous version of herself?

But this wasn't about breaking school rules or something as silly. This was life. Being practical was a given with the deranged madman of a dark wizard out there. Right?

She sighed softly to herself and added the juice of crushed dung beetles she was supposed to have poured in ten seconds ago. But on giving the potion an extra clockwise stir, it turned into the pale yellow colour it was supposed to be by then. However, even the success of having saved their cauldron of potion couldn't stop her from delving back into the matter at hand.

She hadn't seen Sirius since last evening.

Breakfast had given her a glimpse of James and Peter, who were being ambushed by three of Clara's friends, so she didn't get to see them properly. But Black hadn't shown himself at all. This had her worried; what if he was really hurt? She had intended to go up to the hospital wing in the morning but McGonagall had wanted her to put up a notice in the common room, something about banning Zonkos products until further notice. She didn't know why, hadn't bothered to investigate. And just now, after lunch, Slughorn had whisked her away to discuss an incoming Slug club gathering. So she hadn't spoken to any of the boys since last night, and she wasn't very happy about it. Where the heck were Moony and Sirius?!

Her eyes caught a tuft of jet black untidy hair slump forward onto the table with a muffled groan as their potion bubbled over. Peter was looking like he'd burst into tears. Thick black smoke was coming out of it and his pudgy face was covered in soot. Slughorn quickly strode over and surveyed their potion with a disgusted pursing of his lips; apparently, whatever was inside was not very pleasing to the eye. Lily half looked around for Sirius, knowing that if he was there, he'd catch her eye and they'd both grin contently at the misfortune of their friends.

Yeah, they were a pretty sadistic team.

Lily bit back another sigh. She missed that puppy.

Once double potions were over, the Gryffindors left together for their common room, a few of them drifting off directly to tea. Making up her mind, she urged Marlene to go ahead and save her a few bits of good old biscuits, and then scanned the room for James. If she had to go another hour without info, she'd crack. Besides, she needed to let him have an earful for leaving the map around on the floor in the common room. What if someone had tossed it into the fire?!

"Looking for me, love?"

She spun around to find Lawrence Fletcher looking at her with bright interest. He was a fellow Gryffindor, cute, but he thought himself to be incredibly sexy. The boy ran a hand through his hair, leaned a little too close and gave her a charming smile.

Pffft...

Lily coolly took a step back. " I wasn't, Fletcher."

" De Nile isn't just a river in Egypt, love." He winked taking a discreet step closer. She rolled her eyes. God. Why now?

" Is there something you want from me, Lawrence? Because I'm a little busy right now."

"Ah..." he drawled, shoving his hands in his pockets, giving her what she supposed was an intense gaze. She thought he looked constipated. " Busy with what? I'm sure I can give you a hand with whatever it is..."

Lily stifled a groan. "I'm looking for my friends. But I think they've already gone back to the commonroom. So...er...see you."

"Hold on!" he exclaimed, grabbing her wrist. Lily felt her temper flare; glancing at his bony fingers around her wrist and then at him menacingly. Who exactly did he think he was to put his hands on her? She glared at him, but apparently, Fletcher had the thickest skull in all of England. Her daggers never made a dent. Was he blind or something? He continued to smile at her, resilient." Will you go out with me the next weekend, Lily?"

She gaped. The scene was so awfully familiar, she wanted to scream. Why was God so cruel?

" I can't. I'm sorry." Lily sighed. " I have plans."

" Okay...what plans?"

Her brow furrowed," Plans." She said tersely. "As in...stuff to do."

"Like what?" he grinned, making her grow even more frustrated. The worst part was that she couldn't think of a proper excuse.

" She's got plans with us, dumbass."

Lawrence narrowed his eyes at the tall form of Sirius Black, who had materialised behind Lily, not very fond of him at the moment. He was ruining the mood. " Black." He greeted coldly.

Lily whipped around, surprised and joyous, as she heard his voice, a grin breaking out on her face. Sirius looked like he hadn't slept in days but otherwise normal. She searched his face earnestly for telling signs of injury, but found none. Looks like it was James who had gotten the sharp end.

Sirius was still glaring at Fletcher, not liking him one bit. Lily loved her personal space, and no one ever invaded it. Except them. But that didn't count, they were like family. With one last withering look at Lawrence, he grabbed her hand and pulled her away. " Much to do, come along Lily. James is waiting by the Portrait hole." He said, emphasising 'James' so that Fletcher would get the hint. And back the bloody hell off.

His little tip worked, because, realization creeping into his eyes, the boy left with a wave at Lily, acknowledging her apology. He was barely out of earshot when Lily punched Sirius right in the stomach. He doubled over, groaning in pain.

"What was that?!" she hissed, "James is waiting?! You dog, I'm going to kill you!"

"Well, at least you got the hint," he straightened, rubbing his stomach, looking very pleased with himself," I honestly thought he was going to drool all over you Lily."

She glared intensely at the boy, and found that he wouldn't meet her eyes. This was a perfect time for a silly argument and Sirius usually never let that go. But right now, he wasn't even looking at her properly.

" Sirius." She poked his tummy and he winced. Eyes widening in alarm, she realized with a jolt that he must've gotten hurt at that spot last night. And she'd punched him. God, I'm an idiot.

"I'm sorry!" She exclaimed, hands unsure of what to do, was it safe to touch him? " I wasn't thinking! Merlin, I'm—"

"Don't apologise to me." He muttered and pulled her away, walking towards their common room. Something in his voice, a dejection of sorts had Lily glance over in concern. He sighed. " I suppose you know what happened last night..."

"I do." She confirmed. " Are you alright?"

He nodded, but didn't say anything. Lily frowned at him. "I was starting to get really worried. First James walked about literally in pieces yesterday. And then you and Moony don't show up for the entire morning. Where were you?!"

" I was resting..." he murmured, not giving any further explanation, irking the girl. Casting his eyes around, Sirius spotted James and Pete and waved them over. Lily was starting to grow increasingly suspicious. They'd spent a full five minutes together and he hadn't once met her eyes. And Sirius Black was all about eye contact.

" Listen, Sirius." She wrapped her fingers tightly around his wrist, causing him to look over in surprise as her nails dug into his skin. " I'm going to ask nicely one last time. Where were you all morning? Don't give me that crap about rest, I know that's not it."

"How?" he shot back," How do you know I wasn't badly injured? You didn't exactly come and see me did you?"

Confusion softened her features and Lily tilted her head to the side surveying his face. She felt a sting of guilt. He had every right to be upset with her, she hadn't even bothered to visit! " Is that the problem?" she loosened her grip on his hand, and squeezed it gently instead," I'm sorry I couldn't. I wanted to but things got in the way. First McGonagall and then—"

"That's not it." He said quickly, a whisper of a smile on his lips at the way she'd misinterpreted him. " I just thought..."

"Thought?" Lily prompted, absently feeling her Potter siren go crazy as James finally reached them. He threw a casual arm around her shoulders and fixed his best mate with an hard gaze. Lily looked back and forth between the two boys, sensing the strain. Sirius was determinedly looking everywhere except their faces and James was a little stiff next to her. Now confused at hell, she nudged the Chaser, elbowing his unguarded rib, gently in case he was sore too. " What is all this? I don't understand the clouds of tension here."

" What clouds? Its a clear sky over this area, Evans. " James tore his gaze away from Sirius and fixed them on her, giving her a smile, but his eyes were serious.

Lily fought the wild urge to reach up and push away that wayward lock of hair on his forehead.

Not now hormones!

"Okay, what is going on?" she slipped out of his hold, reluctantly at that, and glared at the three boys. " Somebody better tell me what's going on right now."

"I'll tell you what's going on. " James leaned back against the wall with his arms now crossed against his chest, " Padfoot here almost killed Snivellus."

Lily saw Sirius swallow, his jaw clenched as he glared at the ground guiltily. She didn't like that look on his face. In fact, she didn't appreciate anyone else dissing Sirius but her— that was a thing she'd developed soon after they'd become friends. Green eyes shot daggers at their otherwise favourite hazel ones, silently yelling to back off. James saw the fire and straightened , knowing an argument was about to erupt, and more than ready for it. He glared back at her.

" Tell her where you were all morning Padfoot." He taunted, eyes now on his best friend. " Go on, don't be so shy."

" Quit it, James." Lily snapped at him, " Let it go. What's gotten into you?"

James rolled his eyes, but they weren't light or playful. " He was hiding Lily. And Marauders don't hide."

"What? From who?"

"You."

Lily frowned confusedly, now looking at Sirius. " Why? Sirius, look at me."

Pausing to give his best mate a glare, Sirius slowly looked at Lily, and she was surprised at the guilt and shame on his face. Stunned, she reached forward and grabbed one of his hands in hers. James had leaned back against the wall again, now cooled off apparently, as he watched with amused eyes, the sight of his friend squirming under Lily's confused but kind gaze.

"Can we go inside?" the dejected wizard mumbled, "People will listen. "

" We're not moving another inch until you talk to me." Lily said stubbornly, evoking a grin from James and an exasperated sigh from Sirius. " Just tell me already."

"Fine." The ebony haired wizard finally snapped. " I was hiding from you because I felt like a git about Snape. There. Happy, James?"

"Delighted, Padfoot."

Lily opened her mouth and then closed it again, now understanding the whole situation. And instead of being mad like he thought she'd be, Lily felt warm and affectionate towards the sour looking young man in front of her. Her maternal instincts kicked into action and she sighed fondly," You absolute moron."

Sirius snapped his gaze to hers, recognising the tone. " I'm not mad at you, Sirius." She said calmly, squeezing his hand tightly now," It was pretty stupid of you but honestly, Severus should have known better. Were you really that afraid I'd be cross with you?"

"I thought you'd go ballistic." He said, his voice clear and looking surprised at her words, " I didn't even think I'd be alive. He was always...ugh... special to you...so I just figured, you know, you'd probably hate me or something."

Lily laughed lightly, the sound causing James to grin unknowingly and Sirius and Peter to both look relieved and perkier.

" Well that was a waste of wallowing," she smiled brightly, affection and understanding shining in her eyes. " You didn't mean that, Sirius. It just slipped, its only understandable. "

Sirius only shook his head dejected. His frustration had been bubbling near the surface. " But I did sort of want him to get bitten or something." He insisted looking on the verge of tipping over. There was something weighing on his mind. " That's the problem. I actually felt like I wanted him hurt."

" Sirius—"

" And that was scary. Scary Prongs. I half thought my filthy bloodline was staring to show. I felt like I was turning into them."

His companions all snapped into a grave demeanour as Sirius's voice carried an underlying insecurity and vehement bitterness. Lily felt her heart go out to him, and she was now fiercely dead set on erasing this dilemma from his mind. Exchanging a signalling glance with James, who looked just as determined as her, they both grabbed each of his arms and pulled him into the common room, Peter trailing behind. They snapped at his protests and squirms and shoved him into the portrait hole.

No matter how carefree or happy go lucky Sirius seemed to project himself as, few people knew that he was, of course, insecure about everything. Running away from home? Having your entire family hate you for doing what's right? It's obvious, no matter how much of a rebel you are, no matter how arrogant, how firmly you stand by your beliefs, that family would always be like a chainsaw right above your head, waiting to bear down. Part of the reason she respected Sirius so much was because he was still holding strong, despite majority of his family being immediate servants of Voldemort.

But everyone had to break at some point. And he looked like he was edging that way.

Pushing Sirius into a chair by the fireplace, Lily crossed her arms across her chest and all three of them gave Sirius very...serious looks. He glanced at each of them in bewilderment.

" Listen, puppy." Lily said in a low voice," don't ever talk like that again."

" It's bloody stupid." James nodded. " You're worlds different from them, Padfoot."

Peter bobbed his head in agreement. " Like I said, you never meant that, Sirius."

Sirius looked like he was about to interrupt, but Lily cut him off. "And its all fine. You're a little rash at times—"

"Impulsive." Added James, looking thoughtful.

" Reckless." Peter smiled a little at Sirius's incredulous expression.

"And Remus would've added another adjective if he were here." Lily finished ," But it's alright. All that matters is that no one's hurt...okay, dead. Or bitten or something."

Sirius frowned and sank into the cushions, running a hand through his hair. Lily exchanged a swift glance with James.

"Padfoot." He said," What house are you in?"

"Oh I dunno. This is Ravenclaw isn't it?" he snapped sarcastically.

"Not exactly." James replied smoothly," This is Gryffindor."

"So?"

"Who put you here?"

"...the stupid hat."

"Exactly." James smirked. " Were you a hatstall?"

"No..."

"So there you have it." He finished with a flourish," The hat can't make a mistake... well, not much. So you're in the right house. Therefore, you're nothing like them. Not one bit of slimy Slytherin gene in you, Black. You're just a reckless little dog."

Sirius stared at him blankly for a second. Then he slumped, sighing." But why in Merlin's name aren't you mad at me, Lily? I'd really like to know."

" And there's the million galleon question. I'd like to know as well. Spill, Evans. What's your secret?"

Lily blinked at the two of them. She didn't exactly know why. But she had a hunch. " I think...I was just really glad none of you were dead. I mean, when you told me about Sirius, you were all covered in blood." She said to James, not noticing the warm look she got or the sly glance Sirius shot his friend, forgetting that she might've given something away with her words. She was too preoccupied trying to figure herself out. " And besides, you were mad at him already. "

" So?"

" So...he needed some support."

"Basically," James frowned but smiled," You're the only person allowed to get mad at him."

"That's about right." She nodded.

Sirius sighed in dramatic happiness and got up to pull her into a one armed hug. " I love you, Lily- bean. You're the best "

She narrowed her eyes." That doesn't mean you can go around doing this again, Black. Next time I'll have your head."

" Typical." He muttered and shoved her away, with Peter grinning broadly at the scene.

" There shouldn't be a next time." James mock glared. " Do you know how awfully degrading it is to my pride to save someone as sick as Snivellus? I'll never forgive you, Padfoot."

Lily and Sirius both rolled their eyes at him and he pouted at the combined rebuffing he was getting.

...****...

" Quit it, you moron!" Remus swung an irritated hand at James as he continued to flick his wand and change the werewolf's hair colour. James merely snickered as it turned a bright yellow.

"Blonde." Said Sirius dryly," So your colour Moony."

" The ladies will love it." Peter added grinning as he touched the strands gingerly. Lily looked up at them in barely disguised irritation. The Marauders and their latest extra addition were lounging on the couches and armchairs by the fire. Lily had a book in her hand, as did Remus. Sirius was seated at the edge of the couch, long legs on the coffee table despite the red head's warnings and hitting, an arm draped behind Lily who sat next to him. She was leaning slightly into his torso, cross legged. On her lap, with a pillow wedged between her knee and his head, James lounged comfortably, legs dangling over the other side of the small couch, wand in his hand. Remus was sitting on the rug, claiming it was closer to the fire, with his head resting on the seat of the armchair, where Peter sat, munching on chocolate frogs.

Cosy, with the furniture being pushed up closer to the fireplace, they were a picture if comfort, seamless blending of different personalities. Not many looked at them and walked away without a sigh of wistfulness or envy—be it for the comfy seats or their friendship. A year ago, nobody would've imagined this scene in their wildest dreams. But here they were.

Lily shattered the peace by yanking at a lock of James's jet black hair, to make him stop his little activity. The fact that she left her fingers buried in them was a completely different matter. " Will you quit it already?" she mumbled irritated," I'm trying to read."

" No, you're trying to tear my hair out. There are nearly 450 girls in the castle, Lily, and they'd kill youifsomething happens to these strands of keratin."

" Wow!" she feigned surprise," You actually know what keratin is?! What is the world coming to?!"

"I'll laugh at that if you give me a chocolate frog." He tilted his head back to look at her upside down and Lily felt her heart skip. James looked like he knew something, a secret she didn't.

" No thanks."

" I'll laugh voraciously."

" I'd rather eat the frog." She grinned playfully.

" Great," Sirius groaned, " if you two could just stop drooling over each other, you'd notice you've made a flood in here."

James merely flicked his wand calmly, as Lily glared at Sirius, and his hair turned a bright cotton candy pink. Peter erupted into giggles and Remus actually closed his book and sat up to get a better look, grinning wolfishly. The victimised boy raised a ginger hand to his hair, unsure of what the colour was. "Prongs... If it's even close to pink, I'll murder you."

" Then get your wand ready." Lily laughed, " because its exactly that." She mocked a thoughtful look through his loud groan," Although, I have to say, it looks good, Black."

" Oh yes." Remus agreed, " Pink becomes you, Padfoot."

Sirius merely flipped him off and went back to sulking, trying to set his hair back to normal. Lily watched amusedly as he failed, her hand running through the locks of black on her lap as if it had a mind of it's own. James could barely stop the way his stomach swooped. She wasn't doing it on purpose, her mind had been so torn between watching Sirius and the desire to play with the black strands of the object of her affections, that while she focused on Sirius, her hand just gave in to her buried whim on its own. He fought the urge to close his eyes at her touch. It would give too much away. Besides, this was just a friendly gesture. She did it to Remus and Sirius too. So why should he trick his mind into believing this is different?

It was instances like these that left him confused as hell. But it did give his confidence a boost. A huge boost.

Taking pity on the struggling boy, Remus changed his own hair, and Sirius's back to normal, knowing James would be too preoccupied to care. The things a woman can do...

They lapsed into a peaceful silence again, with Lily returning to her book, finally aware of what her fingers were doing but not stopping them at all. He didn't seem to mind, so why should she? Surprisingly, his hair was just as soft as she'd imagined it to be, but unruly and untidy as ever. She felt the texture, her fingers weaving through them easily. She absently wondered if anything could set his hair into a tidy picture at least once.

" Isn't Marlene late, Lily?" Peter asked suddenly," Its past 7:00."

She looked up, startled, hand ceasing its movement. James tilted his head back again to look at her, as did Remus and Sirius. She turned to glance confusedly at the stairs to the girl's dorm, as if she'd find an answer there. " She is." Lily muttered." Its not like Marlene to be so tardy."

"She's probably trying for the whole 'make him go crazy with longing' thing. Girls love that's don't they?" Sirius summoned a chocolate frog from Peter's pile, ignoring his shout of protest.

Lily frowned at him," There's no such thing! That's purely sadistic. What have you been reading, Padfoot?"

" Trust me, I haven't been reading atall." He said pointedly. " But I am observant, Lily bean... "

Understanding the insinuation, James flicked his wand again, and this time his hair turned into a nice bright neon green.

But Sirius was distracted from wanting to kill James by Peter's jaw going slack as his small black eyes focused on something beyond the couch. All four of them followed his gaze, James springing up reluctantly. But the sight was a maybe a teeny tiny bit worthwhile... Marlene had finally showed up and she looked ravishing.

Grinning broadly, Lily jumped up from the couch and met her best friend half way. " You sure look like a 1000 °F."

" What's that?"

" Well...its hot."

" Ah..." Marlene grinned, " I should've known with the stares I'm getting." She nodded to the Marauders. Sirius was watching with raised eyebrows, Moony smiling politely, Peter still stumped and James looking amused. " Nice hairdo, Black." She nodded. " Classy."

" I knew you'd like it. This is all for you, McKinnon."

"Yeah...no thanks."

Lily rolled her eyes." Now listen," she said sternly. " I know you look really...um...well, desirable today. You might just give Marcus a heart attack, but in no way are you allowed to lose self control. Do you hear me?" Ignoring the way her best friend turned slightly pink, she grabbed her hand." I'm serious."

"God, I can't believe you just said that to me." Marlene groaned, " But okay, fine. I wasn't about to."

" Good." Lily nodded, grinning cheekily, " but I never said you shouldn't have some fun." Winking at Marlene's bewildered expression, she laughed. " Go on, have a good evening. I'll be waiting right up here to listen."

" So will we." Sirius called from behind. " I want all the juicy details, Marlene."

"Go stick it somewhere else, Black." She shot back. " and Potter, you dad is a genius. A brilliant man. Tell him I said so. Alright, I'm off. Bye boys, see you Lily."

"Be safe, McKinnon!"

Narrowing her eyes at Sirius, she whipped around and left through the portrait hole, her now sleek brown hair in cascading waves down her back.

An idea popped into Lily's mind.

" Say, James," she walked back over slowly, thoughtfully," is your hair always this messy?"

"You've been seeing it for 6 years. Why don't you tell me, Lil?"

Nodding, she took a few steps back, eyes glinting with hidden mirth. " I'll be right back." They watched in confusion as she darted up the stairs, into her dorm presumably. Remus returned to his book with a smile," You're in big trouble James."

"What?" James snapped his neck to look at him. Getting into trouble was something a little foreign to him now, and the mention of it brought back nostalgic feelings." Why?"

" Just wait and watch, Prongs."

And he knew what the bloody wolf was talking about the second Lily walked in with a vial of pre prepared potion. His dad's STUPID invention. You'd think he appreciated the little liquid, it brought him loads of money, but James was just wired that way.

" No." James sprang up the minute she crossed over and the bottle came into view. " No, No, No!"

"Aw come on, James." She pleaded, barely containing her laughter at his horrified expression," Just lemme try. It'll be a nice change."

"No one's touching my hair, alright?" he backed several steps away from her, much to the amusement of the others in the room. " It's fine the way it is."

"Hey, I never said it wasn't." She shook her head," I'm just trying to figure out whether there's something that can flatten it out."

" Why?!" he yelped as he nearly tripped over someone's cat in his backward steps. Lily started at his stumble, but then grinned as he was temporarily distracted. "Sirius," she called, and James whipped his head back around from cursing the furry animal, to her face again, now wide eyed. "Help me out here. "

"Padfoot!"

" James," he sighed in mock helplessness, throwing his wand on the couch and getting up leisurely. " my hair is neon, have you noticed?"

" I'm sorry?" the chaser tried, through the laughter in the room.

" Nah. You're not." Remus got up too, ignoring the harassed boy's whine of protest," my hair was yellow a second ago, Prongs."

" You traitors!" He accused, looking ruffled. His shirt was already unbuttoned at the top few buttons, tie loose, sleeves pushed back. Now he straightened his glasses to glare at them all properly and Lily would be the biggest liar on Earth if she didn't admit she thought he looked very pleasing right then. Pushing that thought away, she held up the vial for him to see. James felt his eyes lose focus on the bottle and fix on the bane of his existence and her devilish smile. He gulped.

" You can't do this to me. " he tried weakly," Boys, she's new. Don't let her pretty red hair and green eyes fool you. Open your eyes."

" Oh shut up," Sirius rolled his eyes and pulled back his sleeves, advancing forward. " If its a hair trial Lily wants, that's what she'll get."

" Suck up." James shot at him.

" She's the one with the fudge, Prongsie."

The ebony haired wizard lunged forward and James leapt back, reflexes kicking in. Thanking God, for quidditch, he darted around the room as a dog and a werewolf were on his tail at that point.

" Pete!" James called, panicked as he was being chased around in the room by his so called best friends." Peter, help!"

"I'm not getting up. " the boy replied, unwrapping another chocolate frog.

Struggling against Sirius and Remus's strong holds, James cursed under his breath as his attempts to escape failed miserably. Well, not that he was tying too hard. Lily had collapsed into peals of laughter from the moment he fell backward into a fourth year boy's lap during his escapade before and he'd pretty much given up at that point. The rest of the half hearted struggle was to make that sound last longer.

" You're all going to hell for this." He growled," All three of you."

"We'll take the chance." Lily grinned broadly as he was pushed into a chair, fixing his irritated glare on her. " You're coming with us anyway. Makes sense if we all go together."

" Oh joy." He grumbled," Planning to give me a makeover in the underworld too, Evans?"

"If I get the chance, yes."

Muttering darkly under his breath, he squeezed his eyes shut as her hands descended on his hair, moist with drops of the viscous liquid.

A vial full of potion and many astonished glances and exclamations from everybody in the room later, James Potter's hair still stood messy and proud, refusing to give in to Lily's gentle and roughstrokes. She gaped at his triumphant grin, blinking in disbelief. James looked like he'd on the lottery.

"I don't believe this. " she murmured, " Not a single strand in place."

"Maybe its ineffective on Potter genes. " Sirius suggested, sucking on a sugar quill he'd stolen again from Peter. " Maybe your dad's designed it that way. "

" Well, whatever it is," James smirked smugly, " I hope you're happy Lily. You just wasted an entire 40 minutes."

"I can't believe I used up the whole thing." She stared at the now emptybottle in horror, as it glinted as if mocking her.

" Don't worry. I'll just ask dad to send in a fresh bottle."

"Wow. Thank yo—"

"But I'm charging you three times extra."

"Charming, you are." She muttered, throwing the empty vial onto his lap and plopping down on the couch as one by one, their audience dispersed, giggling and grinning to themselves at the events of the evening. Never a boring day with the Marauders around.

Lily eyed their abandoned homework from before lying open on the floor and coffee table. She was yet to complete her History of Magic essay, James still had that plus Muggle studies, and don't even get her started on Sirius. Distaste swirled in her stomach at the open parchment and half finished sentences on it. James was trying to wipe off the potion on a towel with a disgusted look on his face when there was a distinct tapping on the window panes. He looked up surprised to find a tawny owl, looking disgruntled, as it pecked at the glass again impatiently.

" Your dad sure is fast, James." Remus commented dryly. " That's probably the potion you just requested."

He opened the window with some difficulty, the rain outside sweeping in and spraying his face with sharp droplets of water, as if nature wanted to jump at the chance she got to poke him. As if turning into an animal once a month wasn't enough.

The owl fluttered inside immediately, hooting in confusion as it flew around their heads, earning funny looks from the very few students in the room. Who exactly was it supposed to deliver to again?

Sirius grabbed it and held it upside down, causing the bird to flutter madly and struggle. Ignoring Lily's scolding for mistreating the owl, he held up a letter in her face as she came over to save the bird.

A very familiar address jumped out at her in the writing.

A letter from home.

Forgetting all about the unfortunate and miffed owl in Sirius's hand, she sat down quickly next to Remus, tearing open the letter in a very eager fashion. It had been quite a few days— nearly a month, really— since she'd heard from her parents. Heart beating with anxiety, she proceeded to scan the letter quickly, hungrily.

Her face paled.

James frowned at the loss of colour on her face drawing his focus. " Lily?" he called uncertainly, his cautious tone attracting the attention of the rest of the Marauders, "Is everything alright?"

Eyes stinging, she merely shook her head slightly, going through the letter once again. The words remained constant, each comma, every full stop in the exact same place as it was before. Only this time, she noticed the slight tremors in her mother's achingly familiar handwriting.

She swallowed and closed her eyes, letting out a small sound of frustration, sinking back into the couch as she finished reading the letter the third time. The boys were surprised at the sound, and James exchanged a startled glance with his friends.

" Lily," he prodded again, now sounding urgent and worried. "You're scaring us, just spit it out."

Wordlessly, she handed the paper out to the boys so they could read, never once opening her eyes, a thin sheen of sweat on her forehead. Remus gently took the letter away from her outstretched hand and there was a scramble as Sirius and Peter rushed around the couch to look over his shoulder. James stayed where he was, leaning forward and resting his arms on his knees, eyes shuttling between peering at her face carefully and glancing at the boys.

For his benefit, Remus cleared his throat and began to read in a low voice.

Dearest Lily,

What's a 'bubotuber'? Is your hand okay now? Please be careful next time, sweetheart, you father almost ran all the way to your school.

Not that he'd find it, but the sentiments were there.

We're so excited to have you back home by the end of the month. I've missed you terribly, and Charles keeps dusting your photographs so often, I doubt there's a speck on them. He misses you a lot if the constant dusting is any indication; you didn't come home for Christmas after all...

"Who's Charles?" Peter frowned at her. Lily grabbed a cushion, coincidentally the one James had been using earlier but that was the last thing on her mind right now, and buried her face in it. " Dad." She croaked in reply. Again exchanging a look with James, Remus continued.

But before you actually get home, there's something your Father and I have been keeping from you. And before I let you know what that is, we want you to know that none of this is your fault; don't ever think that.

Tuney's gone. She ran away from home. I'm going to tell you the reason so she doesn't slam it in your face later; I'd hate to lie to you, Lily. Your sister has always been...very down to earth and your specialty is just something she couldn't accept. It's a complex almost all big sisters have, that everyone loves the younger child better. Trust me, I'd know.

She doesn't hate you. She doesn't. Your sister can be very difficult at times, and it's our own fault that she ended up becoming so narrow minded. I know things between you two have been strained and I know this incident has changed a lot but don't blame yourself dear. If anyone's to be blamed for this foolishness, its her. Charles was so mad at first, I've never seen him lose his temper like that. But of course, after exploding, we were soon very worried. She didn't even know her way around our own square...

She's fine though, Tuney. She's in London, working in this company called , ' Grunnings.' Stupid name if you ask me. After the initial fretting and sleepless nights, your father and I have now decided that its for the best. For starters, it might just do her some good, learning to live in the real world. And besides, you need to come home. She can come and go as she pleases but you're the one who needs to be here. If your sister can't accept that, then she can stay in her little apartment. But you're coming home and that's that.

Please don't feel guilty. It would kill your poor father to see it, and he's tensed about that fact as it is. I think he was more worried about what you'd feel when you found out than worrying about Petunia's little disappearing trick.

I don't blame him, we've tons of relatives in London, and the girl had enough sense to go to Auntie Josie's after the initial dramatics.

Well, what's done is done. We just wanted to let you know what it is you're coming home to. And don't worry about Petunia. She's doing just fine. In fact, she's been talking about her boss a lot.

That aside, I'm waiting for the day your train arrives. I've already washed your sheets, cleaned your room and put a fresh batch of fudge in for practise. See you soon, sweetheart. Stay happy. Give all your friends my love and hugs. I look forward to meeting these troublemakers you talk about.

Lots of love,

Mum.

Lupin looked up uneasily, that was probably a tad personal but Lily didn't seem to mind. In fact, she was still half buried in the pillows. The young werewolf bit his cheek uncertainly. What was he supposed to say to that?

Sirius finally straightened after a long minute of thick silence. "Well," he began," at least I got a hug out of that."

Lily raised her head wearily," Yes, that was evidently the most important part."

"It was to me." He snapped back defensively, then crossed his arms across his chest, scowling " I hate your sister, Lily-bean. No offense, but she's a mad cow. End of story."

" She does sound mad." Peter agreed. " Run away from home? Who does that?!" He started as Sirius coughed. Peter's eyes widened. " I mean, who runs away from a perfectly fine home...without the death eaters and all that."

Sirius gave him a sarcastic smile in reply. Sighing at their antics, Lupin put a comforting arm around her shoulders. " At least she's okay, Lily. A lot of things could've gone wrong but look at this, she's fine. Sounds like she's in touch with your family and she'sgot a job. It looks to me that she's well off."

Lily nodded into the pillow, murmuring her assent, but not looking convinced at all. They sat for a while in silence, each one lost in their own thoughts. Finally, Lily looked up as Peter yawned widely.

"Just like her to put a damper on a wonderful evening." She muttered darkly. " But its beddie-bye time boys, off you go now."

"But you're still sulking" Sirius said through another yawn," Damn, Pete you've set everyone off. Now we'll all be yawning."

Remus and Lily were next in line for the yawning fest, both looking a little surprised at Sirius's prediction. " I'm not." Lily mumbled, "I just have to finish my homework. So do you Sirius..."

"I'm suddenly feeling very weak." Sirius clutched the back of the couch tightly, executing a pained expression to illustrate his weak body," I must go and rest. If I stay up, I might not last the night."

Lily rolled her eyes.

" You should go to bed too, Lily." Remus said softly," It won't do you any good worrying about her."

"You tend to do that a lot huh?" Sirius mused with a small sly smile," Worry."

" I'm notworrying about her. I'm just thinking it through. Petunia can go and do whatever she wants."

The defiant lift of her chin and her stubborn tone placated 3/4th of the Marauders and they all got up with satisfied nods. Peter proceeded towards the dorm staircase, patting her on the shoulder, and Remus followed suit with a ruffle to her hair. Sirius lingered, watching her with careful eyes, but then he exchanged a glance with the silent quidditch captain and left with a kiss to her head.

Lily heaved a sigh and pushed the pillow away from her lap, eyeing James questioningly," What about you? No weakness or headaches or dragon pox?"

James snickered quietly," Yeah, I'm immune to all that. Padfoot's got two free periods on Monday and the whole oftomorrowto finish up. I have quidditchpractice and detention."

"Cons of being a troublemaker." She shook her head in mock seriousness, "And yet you're still submitting them late."

He grinned at her. " Can't have my image tarnished, now can I? If I submit my assignments on time as well, people will think you're really rubbing off on me."

"I didn't realize doing what you're told is a bad thing." She rolled her eyes, " But whatever. Get started so we can go to bed at least by two."

Reluctantly, he followed her lead, gathering his quills and parchment and flipping through his textbooks. The first twenty minutes passed in compatible silence, with nothing but the sounds of quills scratching on the parchment. Admittedly, he wasn't really concentrating towards the end of the first half-hour. Rather than focusing on his work, James was more distracted by the fact that Lily was being uncharacteristically dull. Her movements were mechanical, automatic, as if she wasn't concentrating enough and there was no zeal, no enthusiasm. Her entire demeanour seemed weighed down.

He had sort of guessed the letter had a little more impact than she let on.

Putting his quill down, he watched her instead. Lily was writing, but her sentences were crossed out multiple times and she didn't even notice that her book was open on the wrong page. Eyes unfocused, she stared at the parchment with a blank look.

James knocked down a bottle of ink.

Startled, she jumped as the blue liquid made its way over to her work but instead of yanking it away, she watched bewildered, and he knew Lily wasn't entirely in the room right then. Determined to pull her back to Hogwarts, he waited until her entire parchment was destroyed, and she did nothing to stop it, simply leaning back and sighing in defeat.

Without taking her eyes from the soiled desk, she muttered, "Thanks. I suppose I deserved that."

"Yes you did." He said firmly, not surprised she knew he was the culprit. " Snap out of it, will you? You're doing exactly what your mum told you not to. Whatever happened to 'do as you're told'?"

"Well I can't help it, can I?" she snapped," Its not everyday your sister runs away from home because of you." She tossed her own quill on the table as well, a tad forcefully, watching apathetically as the feather absorbed the ink, royal blue mixing with its orangish yellow. Her mind was a confused cloud of raging emotions...not just about her sister's idiocy.

This was just the beginning of the problems her magical blood would bring, wasn't it?

"Why did this even have to happen?" she muttered to herself in despair.

"Lily, your sister made her own choice because she was a narrow minded, jealous, insufferable bat." He said firmly and she lifted her desolate eyes to his," None of this is your fault."

" Isn't it?" she tore her eyes away from him because they'd begun to sting again, and fixed them on the ceiling, resting her head on the backrest of the couch. Various other darker possibilities flew into her mind, finally acknowledging the fears that whispered in her ears ever since Voldemort raised his head. " None of this would've happened if I'd stayed away from Hogwarts." She said in a near whisper.

Suddenly angry, he clenched his jaw. "And then what?" he snapped, "have her call you a freak for the rest of your life?" James glared at her, confused as to why she was fretting so much about this little thing. Lily had never actually declared her immense love for her sister, and he knew she was just as miffed with Petunia as the latter was with her. Was this really something so worthy of her concern? His glare intensified as she failed to make sense to him for the first time." Is that what you want, Lily? You wouldn't belong there, you moron. They wouldn't understand. You have too much talent, too much power. Dumbledore would've dragged you here even if you had decided not to go."

" No he wouldn't have." She said stubbornly," Dumbledore would've respected my choice. I would've slowly stopped leaking magic all the time and Petunia would still be home."

"...Do you even realize how ridiculous you sound?!"

Lily suddenly frowned as if blinking out of a trance of sorts and she groaned softly, burying her face in her hands." I do, James. Trust me." her voice was muffled, "But its just so hard not to wish for that. My family's been shaky ever since I boarded the train the first time. Tuney started hating me the second I became friends with Sev."

" And you think she would've accepted you if you hadn't been friends with Sev?"

" Maybe not." She raised her head again, frowning at him, looking so adorably confused and lost, he must've melted. Maybe. Men don't melt...right?" We were best friends... Tuney and I." She clarified, because he had begun to frown thinking she was talking about Snape.

James watched with mild concern as her frown only intensified. The little crease between her brows was back." The fact is she's changed, Lily." He switched seats and dropped down next to her with a sigh, flicking his wand and clearing up the mess on the table. " Why can't you just accept the fact that she's not as golden hearted as you thought her to be?"

" I know that." Lily frowned at the clean table," I know she's anything but golden hearted. Its just...she's my sister. And my parents...they've been so upset over the way we've separated! They sure try to make it seem like they're fine with things, " she chuckled mirthlessly," but they're really unhappy. Dad makes it seem like he's teaching Tuney a lesson by not running after her but I know better. I bet he fights off the urge to run to Aunt Josie's everyday. And I hate that I'm partially responsible for it."

James cracked a smile. Were all girls Daddy's little angels like this one? "What are you going to do now?"

"I don't know..." she mumbled, leaning back against the couch, folding her legs beneath her, chewing on her lip as she thought. " Go home, of course. I need to see them."

" Exactly." He put an arm around her and grinned boyishly," Who needs her when you've got us?!"

Lily looked away, smiling. She was incredibly mad at Tuney but he had a point. She loved her sister, but that sister was an idiot; she'd come to terms with that a long time ago.

Petunia wasn't the one she felt like she was at home with. Maybe blood isn't thicker than Marauder magic.

But that's not the problem here, is it?

" So that's that. Let's just ignore your fool of a sister for now, alright?"

Something shifted in her eyes as she nodded at him. Lily was doing her shuffling thing again, where she locked away the real reason for her plight, in an attempt to feign a gratified constitution.

Yeah, that'll work.

He waited for her to say something, unlock that little annoying problem on her own, without his prodding. She looked on the verge of boiling over, the shut away issue rattling against the box it was kept in, in a violent struggle to come out.

Lily tasted blood. She'd been nibbling her lip for so long, it had started to bleed. Releasing the poor part of her face, she addressed the real problem making her heart speed up, mouth go dry and hands shake.

For once, it wasn't James.

It loomed right there under the surface of her subconscious mind, ready to strike with a vengeance at the first chance it got. She knew her head and its crazy ways enough; this dilemma would take the form of a random thought as soon as she was free, or appear as a dream the second she drifted off. The wise thing to do would be to talk to James. He'd proved to be a very good problem solver before, as far as she was concerned. His thought train was kind of wired the same was as hers, despite their differences, and he'd exhibited an uncanny ability to say the right thing at the right time to her overly complicated mind.

Sometimes, she felt as though her enigma of a head was as simple to him as tossing a quaffle.

She swallowed and glanced over, and he was waiting, eyes conveying the fact that he knew there was more, and that he was just giving her space. Looking as if he had all the time in the world, James had his head cradled in one hand, elbow resting on the armrest, watching carefully.

She sighed. She'd be a fool to skip this chance. But what was she supposed to say?

" James" she started hesitatingly," I—there's actually—"

" There's more." He nodded. "Spill."

"Well..." she paused, suddenly apprehensive. What in the world was she supposed to say? That she was scared? Terrified that she might lose her family because of her little magic tricks? Worried the death eaters might go after them to get at her once she joined the fight? What happened to being strong, protecting herself from being vulnerable?

The fiercely independent woman inside her refused to let the words flow, but this wasn't the enemy. She glanced again at James, eyes tracing the slight frown on his face, the faint traces of a scar across his cheek. Settling on his eyes, hazel boring into bright green, the independent Lily took a step back at the calm in them. She saw respect, tasted acknowledgement, and felt the acceptance he radiated.

" I'm scared." She blurted, a quiet murmur. " Not for my life, but—"

"For theirs." He muttered, finishing for her, sharp realization lighting his eyes. " Of course." He breathed, more to himself that to her. She merely nodded mutely, feeling the pull his bright hazel orbs offered. Something passed between the two young wizards then, something she couldn't find words for.

But with some people, you just connect effortlessly, don't you?

James heaved a sigh, tearing his gaze away from hers, to get a grip on himself actually, he needed to concentrate. He pulled her into a hug, an arm around her shoulder, and she rested her head in the crook of his neck without a word, lost in thought.

" Don't fight." He said out of the blue, breaking the brooding silence. She didn't respond for a minute, choosing to stare at the fire cackling and flaming in the hearth, so similar to the one inside." Stay away from the battle. I know you'd rather jump off the astronomy tower, but if you're unnoticed, then maybe..."

Admittedly, there was a huge element of selfishness in his suggestion. It would be so much better to know she was safe in her own home. But he also knew his words were a futile waste of breath.

True to his predictions, she shook her head resolutely after a second's contemplation, her hair rubbing against his jaw, slightly ticklish. " That's not going to happen. I couldn't possibly live with myself, James. When all of you are out there fighting, risking your lives, how am I supposed to sit in peace?!" He sighed and buried his face in her hair for second, a silent acknowledgement of her loyalty and resilience. Lily shushed her fluttering stomach in her head. "Besides, Daddy would be disappointed if I sit back. He'd tell me to get my arse out there and show Voldy a thing or two ."

"Sounds like Gryffindor material, your dad." James chuckled.

"He is." She confirmed confidently," And I agree with him. But I just wish they didn't have to be so closely involved."

James was silent for a long while, thinking. His own parents were close friends with Dumbledore, and they'd been very proud of his achievement. Sirius and Remus, along with him and Lily had flown through the ranks of the Order, and were a part of the elite few. To have such a big chance to fight was a big responsibility... But he was ready for it. She was too. The only problem here was that while his parents could defend themselves, hers were a different matter.

" Then I guess we just have to protect them." He said slowly, as if he wasn't sure what to say next. "I mean, if you really join the real Order once we get out of here, then I'm sure Dumbledore's going to make an effort to conceal the families of the members...its only obvious Voldemort could go after them. "

"It is obvious, isn't it?" She murmured, looking sick for a second and James realized his mistake. But it was the truth, so he didn't try to fix it. " Although... you know," she continued thoughtfully," I think you're right. The order would keep them safe. It's just these random attacks I have to worry about now."

But she wasn't concerned about that right now. The whole conversation had made her feel better, as clichéd as that sounded. The weight in her chest receding at the comforting thought that there was hope, her enthusiasm and vigour bubbled back, brightening her eyes again. She felt a little light headed with the emotions.

"You're always finding something to lose sleep over, huh? Padfoot was right." James pursed his lips in mock distaste, " You'll get dreadful wrinkles, Lily. And horrible horrible pimples. Not to mention hair loss, dry skin, headaches, acidity—"

Smiling, Lily elbowed his stomach and he stopped with a barely audible gasp of pain. " Shut it, Potter. Don't make me use my wand."

"It was just a warning. " he groaned, now playful and back to himself, immensely happy that she looked alive again. "I've been listening to you for such a long time, abandoning my homework, which means the world to me by the way, all for you. And you hit me?! God, Lily, you don't appreciate me at all, do you?"

She grinned this time, actually feeling bold enough to put an arm around the back of his neck and lean up to press a soft kiss to his jaw. Lily knew she was being impulsive and not thinking clearly at all. She didn't, however, miss the way he froze at her touch, stop breathing as she pressed her lips to his face.

It left her feeling very satisfied.

"That was a token of my appreciation." She informed. "Happy, drama queen?"

"Very." He murmured into her hair again and she heard his voice go a little bit more strained that usual, although he was trying for a light tone. Again feeling strangely satisfied, she leaned back against him and didn't protest when the arm around her lowered to wrap around her waist, playing with her fingers.

But she realized she was playing a dangerous game as soon as a sharp stab of longing pierced her heart the second he took her hand in his. It was too strong, clearing away the clouds in her head, bringing back rational thoughts. Her sub- consciousness chided her impulsive behaviour, pointing towards her beating heart accusingly as it nearly burst with wistfulness and false hope. She had gotten carried away. She hadn't given her actions any thought, hadn't even so much as glanced at the consequences

But it was the best she'd felt in a long time, the careless contentment running in her veins.

She waited a while, enjoying the bittersweet feelings swirling inside her, letting the stabs of longing do their thing, but deciding that for once, his touch was worth the pain. And when her heart swelled so much it couldn't possibly take any more torture, Lily pulled away from him reluctantly, leaning forward to get back to her homework, cursing the stuff for being such a burden. " I've had enough of wallowing in despair. Its degrading. Let's back to work?"

Humming his assent, he swiftly moved back to his original seat, swallowing thickly. That was way too close. Too damn close.

Again lapsing into a comfortable silence, each one now absorbed in their own thoughts revolving around the other, they worked silently into the night.

Nearly three weeks later, her trunk was packed neatly, immediate belongings sorted into a sling bag, wand in her pocket as she got ready to set off for home. There were many things to be done that summer. She'd talked to Dumbledore, and he said she'd probably have to come to school a little earlier that she'd expected, and asked her to stay alert. Lily had assumed it was order work, but his warning had sent chills down her spine. With the Trace gone, she was free to use magic outside of school now, and he reminded her of that fact, seemingly unnecessarily to others, but she understood.

He was telling her to be careful.

There was a knock on the dormitory door and Marlene poked her head in impatiently, " Lils, we're late. Come on, already!"

The red head rolled her eyes." You, my friend, need to calm your oestrogen." She smirked, stepping out anyway with a final glance at her bed. " You can jump Marcus later. I want some food."

Going slightly pink, Marlene grabbed her arm forcefully, digging her nails into Lily's creamy skin in revenge, muttering darkly. Laughing at her, Lily walked with her best friend towards the Great hall for breakfast, bidding goodbye to the Fat Lady, and a few other friendly portraits as they passed. Peevees zoomed over her head at one point, threatening to drop a dungbomb on her just for the hell of it, but he disappeared as soon as the Bloody Baron floated into view, looking as gaunt and grisly as ever. Politely greeting him, even though he ignored her, Lily dragged Marlene into the hall, the smell of good old bacon floating into their brains.

A hurried breakfast later, Marlene rushed off to find her boyfriend. Lily groaned in mock annoyance.

"Don't forget you're seeing my parents, Marlene! You have to look decent. " she yelled after the disappearing curls and the girl merely looked back and shot her tongue out. Exchanging a chuckle with Mary, Lily followed the swarm of students heading for the train. She spotted Sirius the same instant he spotted her and they both grinned. They took the carriages to Hogsmeade station, and she was dragged off by the Marauders then, taking Mary with her, into a compartment. They spent the entire time playing Exploding snap, talking aimlessly. Mary was introduced to the company of the most notorious four in the school, and she found them absolutely charming. Lily rolled her eyes at that. Typical. Everyone found them charming. The teens barely noticed that they were almost home, the familiar distant mountains disappearing to meadows as London drew closer.

Lily had just gotten into an argument with none other than James, over the importance of Divination; he thought it was cool, she thought it was absolutely ridiculous.

"It's illogical. " she snapped," Telling your future from tea leaves?"

"It's an ancient branch of magic, trusted by our ancestors." He corrected. "And it's been pretty dang useful."

" Have to agree with him there, Lily." Sirius nodded from opposite to her, " We've gotten quite a few kicks from making up predictions, not to mention the way our grades soared with all the ideas we came up with."

James nodded, with an air of finality, as if that point settled the matter. She threw a chocolate frog at him in distaste and he shot her a winning smile as he caught the packet smoothly. Sirius pouted, making quite a scene for not getting one too, and refused to hear her clarifications that she'd thrown to hurt and not feed. Unable to stand his act, she stole one from Mary, which earned her a look, and then tossed it to him as well, admonishing against such behaviour in the future. He merely smirked as soon as the sweet fell onto his lap and promised her wholeheartedly that this would be the only thing he resorted to in the future, to get what he wanted.

Mary was quite entertained throughout the ride.

By early afternoon, the Hogwarts Express slowed down dramatically, and the air was filled with excited chatter from the students. Compartments were filled with anxious children standing up and pressing against the windows, hoping to catch a glimpse of their families, with many older students hanging around the main doors as the train finally screeched into a stop with a gentle lurch. Witches and wizards waiting on platform 9 ¾ brightened as the first few kids stumbled out. Hugs and kisses were exchanged, exclamations of happiness ringing in the corridors, laughter, mixed with the hooting of owls and mewing of cats.

Feelings of relief and love heightened by the constant danger they were all doused in.

More and more kids poured out, excited siblings meeting after a long time getting into immediate fights or embraces. Lily waited a while for the initial rush to thin out, as she always did, watching through the windows as families reunited. It was beautiful, she decided. Her throat tightened upon seeing the look of joy on a mother's face as she enveloped her son in a tight hug. Lily wondered whether it was relief shining in the woman's eyes. Upon seeing their loved ones in one piece, within reach, safe despite the looming darkness enveloping their lives, people would find themselves united by a common feeling of gratitude towards whatever it was that gave them this one new chance to be together.

One more summer, one season of barely enough time with one another before families separated once more, not even scratching the beginnings of alleviation to their starving hearts craving a safe and fear free life together. And then this woman too would turn apprehensive, fearful of whether she would be lucky enough to have her son in her arms once again, as his face disappeared quickly with the scarlet steam engine that September.

The flame was stoked.

She felt a burning hatred towards Voldemort for what he'd done to people, tainting their lives with negativity.

" Lily..." She felt a soft tug on her closed hand, which she'd realised she'd clenched tightly, unconscious of her actions. James looked like he knew exactly what she was thinking about, his own eyes flitting outside once or twice, alight with a quiet fierce fire. His fingers silently probed hers loose, and she gave in, unclenching her hand, swallowing a wince as it stung once her muscles relaxed and nails retracted, thankful for the light rub he absently gave her sore fingers, his own eyes looking as unsettled as she felt. The palms of her hands had deep pinkish marks from where her nails had dug into them. She surveyed the print apathetically, knowing that if she pushed on with her resolve to rebel, she'd end up getting a lot many more scratches. Lily glanced back at the radiant face of families on the station.

And decided that every scar would be worth it.

"Come on," James said, now tugging harder on her hand, " Let's go. They're waiting outside."

Silently, she followed, acknowledging the pang when he dropped her hand. And she knew, she understood why she was so worked up about the things going on outside when she could've just sat back. Her conscience wouldn't have allowed it but there was something more.

Her family. Her mum, dad, Petunia; Remus, Sirius, Peter. Marlene.

James.

She had a reason to resist. A lot to lose.

And even more to fight for.

Hopping down onto the platform, using Sirius's shoulders as leverage, she breathed in London air, and got a lungful of polluted particles. Shaking off her disappointment at the lack of fresh air, she saw her trunk was already down and ready to go. Quickly glancing at her friends, she saw Marlene was missing. Lily sighed exasperatedly.

"Anyone seen McKinnon?" she asked.

"I think I saw her over there," Remus pointed towards a completely crowded area," And I think I saw Bolington too."

"Lovely." Lily rolled her eyes.

" Let's just go." Mary muttered, " She'll catch up."

Agreeing wholeheartedly, the group advanced towards the pillar, pausing quite few times to exchange hugs and goodbyes to various people. The Marauders and their popularity earned them quite a lot of shouts of farewell, and Lily had her own share of those from people she didn't really know.

Finally, they stumbled out of the barrier in a heap of confused laughs, trying to get a hold on each other. Lily straightened as Remus did a head count, eyes darting around, suddenly filed with an overwhelming urge to see them, her mum and dad.

Her eyes landed on the tall figure of Charles Evans, his brown hair popping out, and the smaller outline of Caroline Evans right next to him.

Her eyes stung.

She felt silly at that, she was 17 for Merlin's sake. A pair of bright green eyes, so similar to hers fell on her, lighting up with affection. Her father wiggled his fingers at her in greeting.

A happy laugh bubbled from her lips , surprising the boys, but not Mary, as she darted forward and launched herself into her dad's waiting embrace. She refused to cry, but the feeling was so overwhelming, his comforting smell and the achingly familiar warmth of his hug forming a lump in her throat. She suddenly felt like bawling, wanting to be comforted, wanting to stay in the safe cocoon of protection he offered just as always, working his fatherly magic with just his presence. Lily felt her mind let loose, hating reality and its responsibilities. She wanted to stay like that, wrapped up in so much love and care with nothing to worry about, forgetting everything else; Petunia, Voldemort, heck even the cause of her heartache, as her father placed a kiss on her head, laughing slightly at her antics, but arms tight around her. Relieved, happy.

In those mere few seconds, she was just a little girl again, crying into her daddy's shoulder over a lost library book.

" Ah, I missed you, Lily-flower." He said gruffly, knowing very well she hated that nickname.

But Lily merely grinned. " I missed you too. But, again, don't call me that, old man." Releasing him, she pressed a hard kiss on his cheek and grinned brightly, sure her eyes were shining. Lily turned to her mother and engulfed her in a bear hug as well, feeling so incredibly comforted at their familiarity, she wanted to sigh.

And cry and whine and complain and be herself but she settled for sighing.

" Oh my," Caroline laughed," You've gotten taller, sweetheart."

"Have I?" She pulled away and surveyed her mother with sparkling eyes. " Well, mum, you've changed too. Gotten a bit olde—"

"Don't." Mrs Evans warned playfully," I'm as young as I was ten years ago."

" You were old ten years ago mum." She insisted, earning herself a swat on the arm from her mother. Lily was feeling giddy with the familiar feel of being back. As much as she loved Hogwarts, there was no place like home.

Suddenly remembering her entourage, she spun around to see Mary walking over with the boys in tow. Still no sign of Marlene.

"Mary, dear!" Caroline exclaimed in surprise." I barely recognised you!"

Mary laughed, reaching for the hand the older woman had extended in greeting and surprise. "You look ravishing as always, Mrs Evans."

Grinning at her, Lily's mother shifted her warm brown eyes to the four boys wearing polite smiles, but two of them with a sharp spark of hidden mischief in their eyes. Lily had latched herself onto her father's arm, clutching his hand and looking around distractedly for Marlene. Upon her dad's little tug, she snapped back to attention and slapped a hand to her forehead.

"God, I'm sorry." She said, "Mum, Dad, meet—"

"Cue drumroll!" injected Mary.

"— the four most annoying troublemakers on Earth, destroyers of school rules, Kings of secret passageways and mischief."

Sirius narrowed his eyes at her. " Lovely introduction. Thanks, Lily. Don't listen to her, please, Mr and Mrs Evans. " he shot them a charming smile, and Lily saw her mother grin back. Well, someone sure took an instant liking. " We're harmless." He added.

"Right." Lily rolled her eyes, " Dad, this is—"

"Let me guess." Her father interrupted. "Sirius Black?"

Sirius shot the older man a bright grin, and Charles recognised the hidden mirth bubbling behind his eyes. It reminded him of his own college days, and he and Caroline had been quite eager to meet these four friends Lily went on about, because it reminded them strongly of old times. It was only fitting that their daughter would form an attachment to the resident troublemakers.

He remembered Caroline laughing wholeheartedly the first time Lily admitted she was very fond if the Marauders.

"Nice to finally meet you." Charles shook his hand, smiling, " Don't be surprised we know you kids. Lily's been very colourful in her descriptions."

Sirius merely shot Lily a careful look and she smiled back angelically. He'd have to ask her what colourful meant later.

"So then, you must be Peter." Her mother smiled kindly at the shorter boy and he went slightly pink, nodding timidly mumbling a greeting. Charles let his eyes rest on the other two, settling on the young wizard with the wire rimmed glasses and untidy hair that stuck up at the back.

Ah...

" That makes you James," he nodded to the Chaser and he smiled back, reaching over to shake hands, Charles liking the firm grip. Good, good. He noticed the boy had alert hazel eyes, sharp and radiant, with a touch of their old mischief but now tame. Lively, he decided.

"And Remus." Caroline finished, smiling even more warmly at the quiet boy. He smiled at her and proceeded to shake hands with Mr Evans, looking very polite and reserved.

They stepped back together, smiling. Their body language radiated years of familiarity, James and Sirius being more in sync, with almost pre-rehearsed movements and silent glances. Lily was smiling at them widely, and he saw that he and Caroline had assumed right; their daughter was definitely fond of them. She released him as Mary's parents came over to talk to them, exchanging pleasantries with Mr and Mrs McDonald, and then merging with the boys without a hitch. Charles watched out of the corner of his eye, the casual nature with which she interacted with them, how she was almost always flanked by Sirius and James, how easily they reached out to her, throwing an arm around her or playing with her hair. How much she laughed. He was surprised, because his daughter was fiercely defensive of her personal space, but also placated and even thankful, because if she had decided to let them in so fast and so deep, then there would be good reason.

He had never questioned her judgement, and wasn't about to do so now. If her letters were any proof, she was completely taken with all four of them, maybe even more so with one in particular and he was secretly insanely glad that she'd found someone, a group of people to call family in a world so different from his own.

Many a times, he'd despaired over the fact that she belonged in a completely different reality, somewhere he couldn't be there to watch over her or protect her. So this, this relationship, because it was more than friendship, was a gift to him. Something telling him he could sit back in peace. She wasn't alone.

" I still can't find Marlene." Lily twirled her wand in her hand, eyes still darting around, trying to get a glimpse of the curly brown hair. " I'm killing her when she gets here."

"Why not try a summoning charm?" James asked thoughtfully, " We've never tried that, have we Moony?"

"Not really." Remus looked thoughtful as well, probably wondering why he didn't think of that before. " Final year experiment then."

"Done." James nodded, eyes glinting. "Unless of course you want to have a go now, Lily...?"

" No thanks." She said dryly, not even thinking twice. Summoning charm on a human? " What plans for the summer, boys?"

"Oh we have plans." Sirius grinned wolfishly, exchanging the same smile with James. Lily narrowed her eyes at him. " Whatever it is you're planning, don't do it." She warned.

"But you don't even know what it is!" Sirius insisted, " And its a long term thing, you know, takes a while—"

"Why don't you just tell her then?" James rolled his eyes, " No point in giving away so much information and then pretending its a secret."

"I've decided I don't want to know any longer." Lily said firmly. "I'd like my peaceful sleep this summer, thanks. But just be careful alright? You idiots have this—"

"Lily." Mary called sharply, eyes fixed on a spot in the crowd. " Its Marlene."

Forgetting about the boys, Lily spun around to catch her best friend and give her a good tongue lashing. But her words died in her throat as Marlene neared, with red rimmed eyes and a pink nose. She'd been crying.

"Marlene!" she took the girl into her arms the second she was near enough, confused at her silent tears and angry at whatever it was that made her cry. "What happened to you?"

" 'Been dumped." The girl croaked into Lily's shoulder and the group frowned collectively in surprise.

" I'm sorry?" Lily tried softly, unable to comprehend the situation. Marcus had seemed quite sincere and Lily almost always made good judgements on character. Very angry at the insolent Ravenclaw, she pulled Marlene away from her and glared. " Don't cry, Marlene. What did he say?"

" What all guys say." She sniffed and wiped her eyes, knowing it would annoy Lily to see her bawling so much over a guy, unless of course she was in love with that person. Sometimes Marlene really admired her best friend's strength. She was neck deep in feelings for James but refused to shed a single tear over him so far. She wiped at her cheek again, " That it was him and not me. As if I was new to this. I mean, I must've invented that line!"

Lily smiled a little. It was true that Marlene went out a lot, but she'd never actually liked someone as much as she'd liked this guy. "Alright, move over. I'm going to go hex him." Gently pushing her away, Lily stepped out to go after Marcus with every intention of giving him jelly legs but Remus got in the way. He pushed her back by the shoulders." Whoa, step back, woman."

" Yeah." James chuckled, prying her sparking wand away from her fingers, " Cool it, Evans. You're getting as bad us."

"We've done well with her, Prongs." Sirius said solemnly. He put a placating hand on her arm, " Don't get into trouble with your parents so close, Lily bean."

"What for?"

The teens whipped around to see Charles and Caroline watching with confused eyes, having finished their conversation with the McDonalds who looked just as confused. Caroline, spotting Marlene's teary face, looked surprised. " Marlene! Honey, what happened to you?!"

Marlene sniffed again as Charles put an arm around her shoulders comfortingly. She'd been visiting the Evans family every summer ever since second year, at least for a week. As a result, she was comfortable with them, and thus ended up mumbling everything. Charles squeezed her shoulders in a comforting gesture while Caroline fussed over her, wiping away tears. Marlene just sniffed.

" What are you waiting for?" her father turned to Lily with raised eyebrows and twinkling eyes," Go find the idiot and poke him with your wand or something. " Lily smiled as James and Sirius exchanged bewildered but happily astonished grins. She made to dart away again, snatching her wand back, but James grabbed her around the stomach swiftly and swung her back, looking surprised at her speed. " Relax. We've got this."

" You want Marcus to be poked. And poked he shall be." Sirius confirmed with a very wicked nod. " Just wait a few months, Lily bean. You too, McKinnon." Marlene smiled slightly in reply. But Sirius was watching Mr Evans with very admiring eyes.

" But you, sir, have surprised me." He nodded and shook his hand again earing a laugh from the man and his wife." I have firmly established respect for you. Never would've thought... Lily's been such goody two shoes for so long!"

"I was surprised she ended up like that myself." He admitted through Lily's sigh, "Its her mother's genes."

Joking about Caroline's strict school days that matched Lily's old behaviour, the little group made their way out slowly, joined by Marlene's parents somewhere along the way.

At last they stepped outside, into the bustling road. Blinking at the daylight, the teens lingered to say goodbye. James suddenly felt a little cold.

Why had it not occurred to him that she'd be away for the entire span of two months, with no protection whatsoever?

Stomach churning, he ran a hand through his hair as Marlene hugged her goodbye, promising to write. Mary had left already. Waving goodbye to the McKinnons, the Evans family turned back to face the boys, smiling.

" Well, see you soon." Lily said, not hiding the sudden sadness she felt. Only now had she realized they'd be separated for a whole two months. It would be hard. "Write to me alright?"

"Of course. " Remus said, looking just as rueful, wrapping her in a hug. Peter looked a little sad as she hugged him as well, muttering a quiet, " Happy summer."

Her eyes fixed on Sirius and James and she smiled wistfully. Preparing herself for the stabs of longing she would feel, Lily pulled James into a hug, and for some reason, he looked slightly pale. " You alright, Potter?" she muttered into his ear.

His stomach did a flip. " How many concealing charms do you know?" He shot back, and not wanting to cause unnecessary musings by holding her for too long, released her quickly. But it was tough. Lily frowned at him in slight confusion. " Three?" She said uncertainly. " Why?"

James exchanged a look with Remus and Sirius, both of them catching on quick. And feeling a little bit of the panic already swirling in their Chaser's stomach seep into their own, they racked their brains for spells.

" Salvio hexia." Said Remus immediately.

" Portego maxima." Sirius nodded.

" Repello inimicum. Try that with Portego and Fianto Duri. Use these with those charms you know." James suggested, not looking any better as be absently ruffled the back of his head. His stomach was starting to swirl very badly now, he'd never been good at worrying. It always made him queasy and dysfunctional. And this was just terrible.

Understanding, Lily nodded gravely, taking in the worried expressions on their faces and not having the heart to point out that death eaters knew how to penetrate these spells. They'd done so nearly seven times by now.

She let herself be wrapped in a final tight hug from Sirius, returning the fervour. Releasing him, now very heavy hearted, she stepped back towards her parents who had gone very silent ever since James asked about the enchantments. Probably wondering what they were talking about, she mused.

" I hope you boys have a way to get back home." Charles said finally, looking at each of them, settling on James and his pale face and tense posture. They all said yes, now looking like someone's cat had died instead of the charming sly bunch of teens they were a few minutes ago.

"Right." Remus sighed, taking a step away," we'll be off now. It was a pleasure to meet you, Mr and Mrs Evans. Have a good summer."

" Stay safe, Lily." Sirius murmured through a frown. James sighed, trying to tell himself that things would be okay.

His stomach protested otherwise.

But he took a discrete deep breath and smiled. " See you, Mr Evans," He waved, "Mrs Evans...oh, and we love the fudge, by the way." Sirius agreed loudly from behind and Caroline beamed. James let his eyes rest on Lily for a second, not able to stop the clenching in his chest. " Look alive, Lils."

She nodded, chewing on her lip, looking right back, " You too."

With another collective wave, the boys walked away briskly, seemed to hold hands, and the family watched as in the blink of an eye, they disappeared.

"Erm... Where did they go, sweetheart?" her mother searched for the four in the crowd, a futile attempt. Lily swallowed the last of her wistful feelings and took her mother's hand, letting the fact that she was going home engulf her again.

" They've dissaparated. In broad daylight. Idiots." Lily tossed one last glance to where they'd been and then focused on her parents.

"Neat trick." Charles nodded, impressed. " You can do it too?"

Lily grinned, the spark of mischief in her eyes matching that of her father's. " I can do it better. Want me to take you?"

" No." Caroline said firmly. We're going home the normal way."

" Actually..." Lily's father hesitated.

"Charles."

"Alright, alright. You're no fun." He sighed and swept his laughing daughter away towards their car, feeling like the sun was back in town after a long time.

...****...

It was peaceful without Petunia.

Her whining and screeching now gone, Lily felt like she could hear herself think. She'd stepped into her home, expecting to hear the word 'freak' nearly 70 times in 60 seconds as soon as the door opened, but she had been greeted by silence. And it was sweet.

Maybe she was being mean but hey, everyone needed a break.

Lily spent the first month replaying many different stories and incidents for her parents. They were very entertained, fascinated by the various new things she said. Each year was different, each spell more confusing, but she spoke about them with the ease of breathing. And besides, Caroline got a whole lot of help from that stick of wood her daughter carried around. One flick and voila! Dishes done. Chimney clean. Broom sweeping by itself.

" Its like magic!" She'd joked to the her husband and grinning sugar quill of a daughter.

At some point, Lily had snuck out and performed the charms and spells around her block, that was as far as she could go. As the last patch of blue light shot up from her wand, she prayed it would work. And on one night, Lily told her parents what she intended go do, told them of the dangers it would bring. They had both waved it away, telling her to do what was right.

" But you'll have to hide. Stay low and all that." She had insisted, as if trying to convince them to convince her to stay back. That wasn't what she wanted, of course not, but she felt like they deserved to know all the facts and consequences. Charles sighed, pulling her into a one armed hug and ruffling her hair continuously. "Honey, people are dying. For no particular reason. What's happening is beyond our control but if you can help save thousands of humans, why would we care about hiding?"

" ... But dad, Tuney..."

He glared at the name," She can choose to live with it. Do what your heart tells you to do Lily, haven't I always told you that?"

" So...its okay?"

" Its more that okay, sweetheart. Go get them. I suppose you friends are fighting as well..."

" Oh yes." She sighed knowing her hair was looking a lot like a rat's nest now that her dad was done with it, pulling away from him and resuming her seat opposite to his on the bed. " Sirius is a bit rash but he and James are quite wanted in the Order."

"Oh?" He smiled at how she'd automatically switched to talking about them. "Why's that?"

"Talent." She mumbled, looking a little resentful. " James, that stupid git, is a pro at Transfiguration. I suck at it."

" But he's poor in Charms. " Caroline reminded, looking over from folding clothes into the drawer, used to the different branches of magic by then. "And that's your forte."

" I wouldn't say poor mum." She traced a flower on the bedspread, absently wondering what it was with her parents and flowers, " he just doesn't have an interest. And, okay, maybe not the patience needed for Charms to work."

" And this boy, James," Charles began slowly, placing a bookmark in the novel in his hand casually, not wanting to send his youngest daughter into a panicked frenzy with his burning questions," He's the one who'd been asking you out in fifth year?"

Her finger ceased its movement, and she held her breath for a second. Slowly, carefully regaining her composure, she nodded, resuming tracing the flower in an attempt at nonchalance. " That's him." She said. " He's changed though. Not like the arrogant toerag he once was."

Charles chuckled at her choice of words. "You seem quite friendly though, have you patched up?"

"Quite well." She replied, not looking up from the flower, absently realizing it was a rose. " He's actually very impressive."

" Ah...yes." her mother joined them on the bed, curling up next to her father, opposite to Lily's cross legged position. " I remember that letter. He saved Severus didn't he?"

Lily smiled at the memory, unable to stop the rush of affection and respect. She reached for a different flower print. " He did. It was amazing mum. I was really surprised."

"And impressed?"

"Very."

" Do I sense a fluttering feeling of attraction in your face, Lily?"

She looked up, horrified. " What?"

" I'm being blunt here." Her father said casually, watching her face carefully. " Do you like that boy?"

"Boy?" Caroline asked, laughing, " He's a fine young man. Don't be so quiet Lily, just tell us. Your father is just scared he's about to lose his favourite daughter to a much better candidate."

Lily just watched wearily. Charles noted how she didn't blush. If it was Petunia, she would've gone red in seconds. But Lily looked like she was past all that and onto a more serious track.

Her tiny sigh and grudging nod did crack his heart a little.

" But don't you worry, Daddy." She smiled, " You'll always be the better candidate."

"Hmm..." Charles mused, looking thoughtful, " Lets put that aside for now. I must admit he is quite impressive; the whole thing is. Turning into an animal, and undergoing a difficult trial to do that, all for a friend."

" That's a Gryffindor for you." Lily grinned, " although he can still be bit arrogant at times."

" And you don't find that appalling?"

" Nah." She waved it away. " Its actually entertaining."

Charles didn't need the squeeze of his hand he received from his wife to take in the far away smile or glazed eyes of his daughter, letting her guard down around them. She suddenly looked incredibly grown up, carrying a weight on her shoulders, falling in love. He wanted to take away her worries, but he couldn't. Her world needed her as much as he did.

His little girl wasn't so little anymore.

Swallowing the wistfulness, he sighed and buried his face in Caroline's head, watching his youngest daughter with painful eyes. His wife laughed at his disposition, offering a small pat of comfort, her own heart swelling with pride at the wonderful young woman her daughter had grown up to be.

Several days later, Lily received owls from all three of them, James and Sirius, Remus, and Peter, planning to go to Diagon Alley that Saturday, once their letters arrived. Seventh years always got their letters really early. Marlene had confirmed too. And since Mr and Mrs Potter were going to be there, Charles and Caroline insisted on going.

Lily protested, saying it was dangerous, but they told her it was the same. An attack could happen when they were at home too. What's stopping the death eaters?

" We can't live in fear, sweetheart." Charles reminded her. " Besides, I'd like to meet the Potters."

Lily choked on her cereal and Caroline gave her husband a reproachful glance through her smile, patting her daughter on the back. " Dad." Lily resurfaced with a gasp," Don't."

"Don't what?"

"Just..don't." she groaned suddenly and dropped her face against the table. " This is going to be terrible."

" Sweetheart, he's just playing around." Caroline said soothingly. " Finish your breakfast and send them a reply. We'll be on our best behaviour."

Grumbling, she shoved another spoonful of cereal into her mouth, not missing the wink her father tossed her over her mother's shoulder. She glared back.

Her letter arrived the following day. Skimming through the list of books she would need, Lily grabbed the envelope to put the letter back inside. She'd grasped it upside down. A shiny badge fell out of the golden brown thick paper. Lily picked it up, confused and then yelped.

The Hogwarts crest gleamed at her, the words HEAD GIRL glinting in the light of the kitchen.

"Oh how wonderful!" Caroline beamed, Charles, look at this. Lily's been made head girl!"

Her father looked up from where he had been cautiously stroking the important looking school owl, now beaming with pride. " What are you so surprised about?" he asked, walking over and clapping his daughter on the back. " I would've been more shocked if it didn't happen."

Lily simply watched as her parents surveyed the badge, looking as if they were expecting it to tap dance any second now. She stuffed a bit of fudge in to her mouth, eyeing the gleaming price of metal a little resentfully. She understood now, why Dumbledore had asked her to get ready to go back a little earlier.

" This badge," she swallowed and took it from them, placing it back on the table," is going to be the reason I have to leave early."

Her parents gave her confused looks. " Head students and seventh year prefects have to go back a week earlier. Help set up the castle I think. New rules probably. Dumbledore said so anyway. "

Disappointment was evident on their faces and she sighed. " I had to leave at some point mum. Its just going to be a week sooner. "

"I suppose." Caroline looked lost for a minute and Lily didn't like that at all. She traced the lines on her mother's face, her skin no longer as smooth as it was once, wrinkles very slightly beginning to show. The streaks of grey in her hair didn't go unnoticed either. No matter what Caroline said, Lily knew her mother was getting...dare she say it...old.

She didn't have the strength to look at her father.

Managing to pacify them throughout the day, she slept restlessly that night, not very fond of the idea of going back early. This was it. Her final summer as a mere student. Once graduated, she'd be a full fledged witch, having to take care of herself. Fight. Risk her life. No more leaning on her mother and father. No more being the youngest daughter, the apple of her father's eye. She was going to have to step out from her home, away from her parents. She was being handed a war, enormous responsibilities thrust on her shoulders..

Reality would slap her in the face like a bitch.

But I chose this for myself.

Her eyes stung, dangerously close to shedding tears for herself, something she refused to do. But still, was she even ready?

Saturday morning found Lily as a bundle of smiles and energy. She was beaming, chirpy, excited. The prospect of seeing her friends again had nearly bubbling over in joy.

The thought of seeing James had her stomach in knots.

She'd missed them all terribly, but that insufferable Chaser was probably the worst. It was really bad whenever she got a letter from him and Sirius, her stabs of longing multiplying tenfold and she'd scold herself for being such a girl. But that didn't stop her heart from leaping violently each time she read a sentence from him. James and Sirius wrote together, on the same parchment, turn by turn. She loved reading it and would often spend many wistful evenings by the fire with a book, wishing to see them just once. In fact, she was so out of her head today, Lily was scared she might do something purely impulsive. Her mother noticed of course.

" I don't understand how you can stand to be around him, Lily." She laughed, setting a plate of sausages on the table. "I have to say I admire your self control."

" I never said it isn't hard." Lily bit back a yelp as the hot piece of meat scalded her tongue. She quickly swallowed some water. " I mean, half the time he's so confusing, I'd have given anything to learn occlumency. Take a peep. Into his head." She informed on seeing her mother's confused face at the term. " It would've made things a lot easier."

"Well, I think you should just jump in and tell him. Or snog him, that would be tons better. Saves a lot of time and sappy dialogues."

Lily laughed into her mouthful of fruit salad; her mother had a thing for fruit breakfasts. With sausage. Weird but nutritious. " Riiight. Great advice. I think I'll just stick to staying quiet, thanks."

"Why?"

" Because it would be way too... upsetting if I'm wrong."

" Trust me sweetheart." Caroline grinned and lowered her voice as Charles walked into the kitchen, effectively ending that conversation. " He's just as enamoured as you are. Mother's instinct."

Lily kept her eyes on the steaming cup of tea in front of her. Was it wrong she wished her mother was right?

Can't be.

They travelled to London by car, and then took the other way into Diagon Alley. Stepping into the Leaky Cauldron, she found it unnaturally quiet and peaceful, so unlike before. Maybe people were scared to come out and have a drink. Tom, the bartender, winked at her as she passed, and she grinned back. There was almost no one in there, except a sombre looking man in dark robes who glared at everyone as they went by. Her parents stared around in wonder, trying to blend in by not voicing the millions of questions in their minds. Lily stopped in front of the designated wall, pulling out her wand and tapping the right brick. Open mouthed, even though this wasn't their first trip to Diagon Alley, Charles and Caroline followed their daughter into a moderately busy street. They were met by various people in cloaks and robes, wands out, with owls and cats all over the place. Advertisements on the walls blared forth, exhibiting their products and photos moved as if it was the most natural thing in the world. Lily let them stop and look with wonder at the ad of Zonkos joke shop, both of them spreading into slow smiles as they listened to the piece if paper. She sighed. Having gotten used to it by now, she found her parent's fascination a bit strange. Lily had to repeatedly remind herself that she had been worse the first few years.

Eyeing her watch, the traditional one Marlene got her for her birthday, she pursed her lips. They were late. Or was it her? Maybe they were around somewhere close by?

Her father straightened, chuckling at the words of the poster. " The Silly Quill?" he asked her, eyes sparkling, and she grinned back wearily.

" Oh its a nightmare, that one. I once wrote an entire essay with it. And submitted. McGonagall handed it back to me with a very funny expression. The heading itself was supposed to be ' Uses of Bottleneck beetles in transfiguration. ' It ended up reading ' How to use Butt lotion in transplantation.' " she paused as her father chortled. " It's funny when you're not doing homework."

" Well." Her mother laughed," This whole thing is quite entertaining."

"Yes it is." Lily agreed, but then pulled them away. " But let's keep walking?"

Smiling, Mr and Mrs Evans proceeded forwards. The walked a little while, searching for any sign of The Marauders or Marlene. Lily kept her eyes open, not taking any chances today. Her wand was just within reach, her eyes were sharp and observant. And despite all he precautions, she knew she'd feel better once the rest of the team got there. In a corner, a slouched old wizard was watching them with unblinking bleary eyes, and many people seemed to be wearing black today.

Anxiety popped inside her.

"Listen," she began to say, but her sentence was interrupted.

She squealed as a pair of arms wrapped around her stomach from behind in a split second, wrenching her away from her parents, swung to the side.

Horror pounded inside her. She reached for her wand.

But then her terrified heartbeat slowed as she heard a very familiar bark of laughter from her captor. Relief flew in, unbridled and she couldn't help the silly grin on her face.

" Sirius! You dog, I'll kill you!" She struggled in his grasp. The boy merely chuckled, setting her down to face her folks, but not letting go. He rocked them from side to side in childish rhythm. Lily felt her smile widen.

" I did miss your threats Lily bean." He seriously," But God, you've gotten heavier."

She elbowed him painfully, breaking out of his grip only to turn around and wrap him in a hug. "I missed you too, Padfoot. It's been a bit dull."

"Yes it has." He murmured, "Prongs was no fun this summer, always fretting. He was making me tense too. "

Her heart did a little skip. " And where is he?"

Sirius released her with a smirk, " Yes, you'd like to know wouldn't you? Still find stags sexy Lily?"

She went a little pink, and awarded him with a kick to his shin. Sounds from back where her parents were drew her attention and Lily saw her mum and dad exchanging a pleasant conversation with... The Potters?

She looked closely. The man looked a little aged, thin, but his eyes shining with energy, slightly balding, with a very familiar sort of glasses sitting on his nose. The woman was tinier than her mother, with slightly greying hair that sort of suited her warm brown eyes and kind smile.

Fleamont and Euphemia Potter. They looked exactly like the couple in the photos James had shown her.

Speaking of whom...

"Lily!" She whipped her head around at Peter's voice to see the rest of the Marauders striding closer, all with bright smiles on their faces. She grinned at them in greeting, nearly bursting with relief and happiness. Without knowing it, four people had just walked in and taken away, one by one, the knee-weakening burden of worry and anxiety she had been carrying. The sight of them made her feel more positive, optimism flowing in waves into her blood at their grins and exclamations of happiness.

Her eyes found a pair of bright and happy hazel ones. He winked at her.

Laughing at her incorrigible heart, she engulfed each of them in a hug, automatically fretting over Remus's thin face and sleepless eyes. He merely waved it away, affection radiating from his tired brown orbs, looking happy at their reunion.

It was like meeting her long lost family. She chucked inside her head at the way she was feeling. Two years ago, she despised them. And now she couldn't go two months without their presence.

Especially James. He'd nearly killed her with his absence. And nearly strangled her with a hug right now, but she was not complaining.

The bunch of teens turned towards the adults, looking bright and enthusiastic.

"Well, don't you all look lively." Euphemia chuckled fondly. Her eyes fixed on the beautiful red head fit snugly in between the boys, particularly her son and his best friend.

"Yes, it's nice to see you smiling, son of mine." Fleamont grinned and Lily recognised a ghost of James somewhere in his face. His voice too was rich and smooth. Comforting. Again, a lot like his son's.

James rolled his eyes. And then nudged Lily forward so she stumbled. " Mum, Dad this is Lily. You've already met Mr And Mrs Evans " he grinned at them brightly and waved to the side. They waved back. " So here's the product of their love. Say hello to the top student of our year."

"Prefect extraordinaire." Sirius added with a flourish.

" And Queen of charms." Remus grinned. Lily narrowed her eyes at them.

"Forgotten your little intro in June, Lils?" James asked her with laughing eyes.

" Yes, I bet it took you a month to come up with this." She shot back and then quickly smiled at the Potters. " Um... Don't mind them, please. Its a pleasure to meet you, Mr and Mrs Potter."

"The pleasure is all ours, child." Fleamont replied, eyes glinting with hidden mirth as he took her in. His gaze flitted over to his son, and found the boy looking over at something in the distance, a frown on his face. " Shall we proceed, boys? We need to get moving." His question was directed more towards his progeny, silently telling him to be more inconspicuous.

Looking so suspicious wouldn't help their plan.

The group trudged forward, all five friends engulfed in an excited chatter, exchanging stories and laughing. Lily kept an eye out for Marlene. More people filled the streets, many looking like Ministry officials, with that serious air around them. They stopped at Flourish And Botts first, taking a little while to get two bookworms away from a new collection, and then moving to the owl emporium to get enough treats. Along the way, Lily saw many people she knew, and many she thought she recognised from somewhere. It was as if a whole lot of students had chosen that day to shop.

Coincidentally, almost all of them were members of the army.

The only weird thing was, no one stopped to say 'Hi' or anything. Everybody seemed to be in a rush to get this over with. Shrugging at the unusual behaviour, Lily stepped into another book shop, where Remus wanted to stop. The group dispersed, her parents being engaged by the Potters, and she herself down some aisle, accompanied by James and Sirius. Moony had wandered off in another direction with Peter.

There was another creepy person by the far off shelf, watching through the corner of his eyes. Lily felt her instincts tingle again. Picking out another book from the shelf, she smiled at the title, trying to distract herself.

'SIX FAIL SAFE WAYS TO CHARM WITCHES.'

"What's so funny?" Sirius snatched the book away. " Six fail safe ways to— oh." he grinned and looked over at his best mate. " Oi, James, get over here."

The Chaser put back a book he was shuffling through a few shelves away with a completely weirded out expression. He rushed over, giving the book a last creepy backward glance. " Tell me this is safer than that nightmare."

"What was it?" Lily looked up.

"You don't wanna know. Believe me." He shuddered and then exchanged a glance with Sirius.

Apparently understanding, the runaway wizard choked back a laugh.

" Aw come on." Lily tugged at his cloak, "Tell me already."

" It's not for innocent ears, Lily- bean." Sirius smirked and simultaneously, without looking at him, hit James with the book he was holding to get his attention, handing it over." We intend to keep you untainted."

She rolled her eyes and James scoffed next to her, eyes on the book in his hand. " What is this idiocy?"

"Lily picked it out " Sirius said quickly.

She began to protest but James was already looking at her with wide eyes. "You...like witches?"

" Yes, preferably blonde ones. " she snapped back, snatching the book away. "You should probably get this. It'll teach you a thing or two."

James shifted, hazel eyes glinting with mischief, a familiar expression that told her she shouldn't have messed with him. Her stomach clenched in apprehension. "I honestly do not believe I need such a degrading thing to help me be charming." His voice was low, as if telling her a something secretive, smooth but innocent. He leaned against the shelf next to her on one shoulder, crossing his arms, fixing Lily with an unwavering gaze. He was much too close. Mouth-watering scent of something spicy, but sweet engulfed her brain. "Right, Lily?"

She kept her eyes fixed on the shelf, skipping book after book, but not registering the names. Heck, if someone asked her what language it was, she'd probably sputter. Move two inches to the right, and her shoulder would brush his chest. It didn't help that she could feel his breath on the tip of her ear, or that Sirius was four feet too far away. She was so preoccupied in regaining her focus that she completely missed the grin the boys exchanged, Sirius looking like he wanted to laugh out loud.

Swallowing, she grabbed a random book and flipped it open, but then her eyes caught a lock of straight black, shiny hair on the far side of the adjacent aisle, through the gap her book had been in.

"Isn't that Clara?" Lily squinted through the hole, leaning up on her feet, peering at the tall figure with familiar black locks and amazing figure. Something twinged inside her at the other girl's wonderfully shaped legs. Jealousy. But then she snorted it away as quickly as it came. She felt both the boys move behind her, press close to get a peep through the same gap, and she could feel James's hands come up to rest on either side of her shoulders as he strained to get a look. The scent was almost driving her crazy but the sight of the beautiful Ravenclaw had slightly sobered her up. The three Gryffindors peeked quite strangely through the gap. The girl shifted slightly, and Lily saw the side of her porcelain skin.

Cursing under his breath, James withdrew from their gap. The scent went away, and Sirius moved in to make sure, hands on her shoulders as her pushed her down a little to take a better look. Lily heard something rustle behind them, as she and Sirius fought silently for a better position. Clara turned at some point, and they pulled away swiftly as if burned.

The two teens grinned at each other.

" Just your luck, huh James?" she turned around to tease but saw no one. " Er... Potter?"

Sirius stifled a laugh. " He's here somewhere. Prongsie, come out of the cloak. Someone wants to see you."

Lily felt something move next to her and she laughed as Sirius's eyebrows elongated, and curled at the ends. For some reason he looked... like a mix of 16th century English men and a new generation teenager.

They walked back towards the adults upon spotting Moony and Peter ahead, Sirius still fingering his eyebrows. Remus raised his own brows wearily between Peter's giggles. " Do I have to ask?"

" James had a visitor. " Lily informed. At that precise moment, someone tapped her on the shoulder.

She turned around to face Clara Louis herself.

Blue eyes stared at her with a smile that seemed practised. Lily smiled back uncertainly. " Um.. Hi."

"Hello." She said graciously. The red head noted she had a soft voice. " I thought you looked familiar. Lily Evans?"

She nodded, shaking hands as she met the ex-girlfriend of the person who might just be the love of her life. Okay, he was. But you can't blame her for being a little practical. " Clara, right? How have you been?"

"Oh, I've been well." She said airily, eyeing the three Marauders behind Lily. "Shopping today?"

Lily nodded, smiling genuinely now. "What about you?"

" Same." She said, smiling politely at The Potters and Evans who joined the teens from behind. Her eyes flickered in recognition as Mr Potter came into view and she seemed a little rueful as she fixed her gaze on Lily again. " Well, have a good day. I'd best be off. Mum's waiting." Her eyes travelled over all their faces, as if searching.

Looking for the missing face? Lily thought wearily, He's right here next to you.

Waving at them all, Clara left in a swift turn of black strands and Lily sighed to herself.

" You handled that quite well." Remus told her quietly, grinning slyly. Her green eyes widened in warning, darting around; James could be anywhere close by right now. Lupin just chuckled at her reaction.

The group paid and left, pacifying Euphemia that her son would be back any second now. Walking along the crowded streets once again, two seconds after their exit from the shop, James materialised next to Peter, giving him a shock.

Sirius whacked him sharply around the head. " Marauders don't hide, remember?"

"Special circumstances don't count." James murmured back, looking a little cornered. His eyes were darting around, on the edge, ready to slip away if she reappeared.

" Where were you, James?" Euphemia chided, " We missed you at the book shop."

" Yes, we met someone there, Prongs." Lily stifled a laugh at his glare, " Do you know who Clara Louis is?"

" Oh look!" he replied, pointing to the left, " Ice cream. Let's go. I bet Mr and Mrs Evans have never had our type of desert."

Tossing Lily a dirty look, he dragged them all off even though everybody understood what was going on. Caroline raised a brow at Lily, who grinned back. " She was last year. " she whispered to her mother and Euphemia , moving away from Remus to walk into the shop with them. " Ended ugly. Dunno why though."

" My son and his ways. " Euphemia sighed, giving Lily a slight squeeze, surprising her. " Don't mind his idiocy, darling. He's just being a boy."

Lily grinned at the older woman, not really understanding whether the witch recognised her pathetic condition or whether it was just a friendly statement. Peter came over to drag her away towards the display shelves and that was the end of that.

They settled down in the long booths, separately. There were only two other families in there, One seemingly new couple with their small kid, and an old witch with her granddaughters and..son? Son in law? Another younger lady joined them shortly, that man's wife probably. Tearing her eyes away from the little kids slurping on their treats, she looked at her own group. Charles and Caroline were completely enraptured by something Fleamont was telling them, and Lily smiled, happy that they were blending in at least a little. She took another spoonful of chocolate chip cookies and vanilla flavoured ice-cream, enjoying the peace and the cold. James nudged her from the side.

" Alright, listen." He said, voice low in an almost conspiring whisper and she leaned a little closer to hear clearly. The rest of the boys shifted automatically, completely in sync, concealing their secretive conversation from the rest of the shop by slightly increasing their own volumes and enthusiasm in talking. Lily leaned a little closer.

" Today was planned by the order. We're being positioned here by Dumbledore, okay?" he muttered.

Her heart quickened for unusual reasons and she frowned. "Why?"

" There's been apprehension of an attack—its just a rumour!" He assured, patting her tense hand as her eyes widened and face paled at the info." Don't worry. We've got arrangements to get them out safely."

Her palms broke into a cold sweat. " How?" she asked shakily.

"Portkey." He replied taking her hand under the table and giving it a soft comforting pressure. " Dad activates it the second something goes wrong and they're out of here in five minutes. Relax Lily. We need to stay focused."

His voice was low and calm against her ears, piercing through the thin haze of panic in her head. She should've known it was too risky. But James was right. She needed to stay sharp. " What about the other muggles here?"

James smiled a little, knowing she would ask that next, " We've got different groups tailing each muggle family in the Alley. Don't worry. It's been going on for sometime now. We have people taking shifts everyday. Civilians have trackers on them too, although they don't know about it. You saw the Ministry blokes, they dissapparate with these people the second something goes wrong. We have a continuous flow of information going back and forth as to who's coming and leaving. The Alley's closed by now though, no more people can get in. See? Its all coordinated. Dumbledore wouldn't have normally put us here, we're just students. " he sounded a little miffed at that. " But he asked majority of our Hogwarts members to shop today. Haven't you noticed familiar faces?"

"I have..." Lily nodded, swallowing. " But why didn't anyone tell me?"

"Owls are being intercepted everywhere Lily. " he said gravely. " We didn't want to take the chance. In fact, mum doesn't know either. She wouldn't have allowed it."

Understanding, Lily nodded. He sighed. "Good. So we stick to our RouteC. You and me on the right. Moony and Padfoot on the left. Are you alright?"

She bit her lip for a second, making the mistake of turning to look at him. Coming into view were the very distracting specks of golden in hazel. And despite everything, her vision tunnelled. Everything else became a buzz in her ears. James had, yet again, effectively drawn her into a little bubble of their own.

But she needed to find the needle and pop it before she did something she'd regret later.

"I'm fine. " Lily said firmly, tearing her eyes away, gathering courage from his thumb rubbing circles at the back of her hand. He smiled freely now, eyes sparkling at her, dropping her hand with one last stroke. " I missed you, Evans. It's just not the same without a female insufferable book worm to annoy you."

She rolled her eyes, heart leaping at his words, " I would've admitted I missed you too, Potter, but you just ruined it for yourself."

" Whoops." He grinned," Can I try again?"

" You've lost your chance." She shook her head firmly at his pout, growling when he stole her ice cream in revenge. Realizing their role was over, the three boys relaxed, watching as Lily made futile attempts to get her treat back.

" Careful, Lily." Sirius smirked. " Don't hurt him. He might dock points."

She frowned, distracted by that info, so she barely noticed her icecream returning, and James narrowing his eyes at Sirius. She questioned," Quidditch captains can dock points? "

"No." Remus grinned as the unsuspecting girl put another spoonful of ice cream into her mouth. " But Head boys can."

Lily choked. Coughing, into her hands, with Sirius patting her back trying hard not to laugh, she turned her watery eyes towards James, bewildered.

And terribly weary.

" Who," she coughed one last time, " in their right mind would make you head boy?"

The chaser refused to look at her, playing with his spoon.

" Dumbledore." Peter answered for him, looking very happy about something. " And he's not exactly always in his right mind is he?"

"True..." Lily mused, glancing back at James. Fate was cruel to her. This would be torture. Sharing a commonroom, duties, all important functions. They'd have to be joined at the hip.

The whole episode would be the death of her.

But, Lily swallowed another spoonful of vanilla, quelling her silly fluttering stomach with an inward scowl at it, she had decided to grow up, right? Be mature about this. She was made head girl for a reason; the time for silly girlish feelings was over. It should be like working with any other person. In fact, she should be glad it was someone she was so comfortable around. Maybe it would make things easier.

Sighing in a resigned fashion, she smiled slightly. " I suppose I should say congratulations. "

" We should too. To you, Lily. Dumbledore told us last night." Remus smiled.

" Ugh, this is just disappointing." Sirius poked his mound of bright yellow icecream. " How am I supposed to end my schooling with a blast now? You traitor, Prongs. "

"Oh shut up. " James groaned. " I never asked for this. You saw me begging Dumbledore yesterday. "

"Doesn't change the fact that you're not going to play our game anymore."

" Says who?" James smirked into his spoon, noticing Lily whipping her head around with an incredulous expression. " I think this'll be a perfect opportunity to try new things, Padfoot."

" You're kidding." Lily asserted, staring pointedly.

" Not at all." He grinned at her, crossing his arms and leaning back easily," I have tons of plans this year."

" James." She glared at his widening smile. " I'll finish you before we even get started. "

" This is going to be a very smooth partnership." Remus laughed. " I just feel it."

Sirius hummed his assent. " They'll kill each other before the first four weeks."

James looked wounded." Like hell we will. Have some faith, Padfoot. I won't kill her in just one month."

" Yes, I think we'd last at least three." Lily rolled her eyes. " But that's my limit, James. Sorry."

"Mine was two, but I'll try to hang in there." He smiled back angelically. " I have a feeling this'll be fun."

Lily smiled despite herself. She wasn't really worried about them pulling pranks. This last year was very crucial, be it academically or otherwise. Seventh years would be the gravest people in the castle. This was their final year of safety; they would be stepping into the real world within a few months.

They could actually use a laugh now and then. And that's where the Marauders come in.

She wasn't about to take that away from her fellow students. Or from herself.

" You know," Sirius mused, eyes outside, " We seem to be having a lot of black cloaks around today."

Lily froze, flicking her gaze outside as well. Remus and Peter followed her to peek, and James sighed. " Don't look." He muttered, poking his icecream a little forcefully. " We can't let them know we're being cautious...if there is a 'them' out there."

The rest of the group tore their eyes away quickly, silently cursing themselves for not thinking. But this was the first ever real situation they were in and nerves were a given.

Stay focused. Lily told herself, watching her smiling parents instead. They need to get out of here safe.

And then somewhere on the street, a woman screamed.

Panic engulfed the entire area, screams of terror ripping the air as bright jets of green and blue and red lights flashed all around. The group inside Florean's jumped up, looking pale and gaunt. Charles and Caroline looked absolutely terrified for a minute.

And not just for their own life.

Lily pushed through the sudden jostle of people in there, getting some help from Sirius. Her heart was pounding her ears, hands shaking. By the time she reached her parents, Fleamont was already thrusting a worn out looking watch which had previously been around his wrist, into their hands. He spoke with a calm, as if there wasn't a war around him right then.

" Keep holding on to this." He was saying through the chaos. " It will take you back to our place. You'll be safe there. Euphemia, go with them please."

James's mother looked like she wanted to protest, but his father gave her a stern glare, a scary one, " For protection. Go." and the woman sighed nodding her head, grasping the watch tightly.

Pale and looking sick, Lily saw her parents turn to her immediately. She opened her mouth to say something but there was an explosion outside. Dangerously close to the shop.

"Remus, Sirius, " Fleamont said calmly. "Its time."

Looking grave, but determined, the boys exchanged one last glance with James and Lily. " Careful. " she warned," Don't be rash." Sirius nodded, eyes flickering between the two of them. " You too. Look sharp, Prongs."

They left in a whirl of cloaks. Lily felt sick to her stomach.

"Dad..." James called unsurely. Fleamont nodded. " Stay here, both of you." He instructed firmly. " Make sure we're out of sight, then step out. Watch the timing James. You three, never let go of the watch."

With one last glance at his wife, Mr Potter took Peter outside and they were lost in the confusion. James quickly placed a lock on the door with his wand, and a shield charm just in case.

" Lily," Charles called.

She realized her hand trembled. She was terrified for them and herself; where would she be if something happened to them? Pessimistic, the red head lost her grip for a second. But she locked eyes with her father just once, and courage seeped into her. He looked calm, despite the pale face. He was telling her to stay firm.

Her parents were stronger that she was being right now.

Swallowing the last of her fears, trusting the watch in their hands, and whole heartedly appreciating James's idea to hide them under the cloak, she faced her parents with a calm look. It had an instant effect. Some of the underlying panic on all their faces dissipated.

"Keep holding the watch. Don't let go." She instructed as well," I promise I'll be back, just get to safety alright?"

She saw her Father nod solemnly, understanding that the time to swallow their pain and insecurities and fears had come. She was about to fight for justice. He was going to be proud. He had to try.

" Give them hell, honey. " her mother murmured. " Come back safe. "

"You too, James." Charles added, locking eyes with the teenager, surprised to see a bright blazing fire inside. He implored silently, to keep her safe, even though she'd kill him for thinking she needed protection, and the young wizard gazed back calmly, almost understanding, promising the same.

Giving his mother a kiss on the cheek, James checked his watch " Time's up." He handed them the cloak, watching as the group huddled closer and then disappeared behind it. His eyes darted around the spot but Lily looked away determinedly. Taking a deep breath, inviting calm into her mind.

I have my wand. James is right here. We'll be fine.

" Shall we, Lily?"

"Lets go." She gripped her wand tightly and absently reached for his hand the same time he touched hers. Grasping tightly, they pushed open the door, and stumbled out.

Only to duck immediately as a wild jet of red shot their way. Lily instantly turned to shoot a shield charm at the door as James shot a curse at their attacker in reply. The whole street was engulfed in confusion. Screeches and cruel laughter coming in from all directions. As they stood alert, wands at the ready, there was a familiar flash of blue from inside the now trashed icecream shop. The Portkey had worked. Florean emerged, looking livid, but unhurt, giving them a curt nod to confirm that her parents and Euphemia had escaped safely. The man left then, disappearing into the smoke, his outline growing foggier as Lily watched. Now able to move, unfrozen by relief with the knowledge that their plan had worked, the two teens crept in the shadows, going right, as they'd decided. Around them, among the rubble and dust, nothing was clear much. Eyes searching desperately for a target, they waited a bit, breathing carefully, adrenaline working its magic.

Abruptly, a beam of shimmery blue light fired at the sky from somewhere, stark against the black clouds.

More shots followed, all of them would trace back to strategically placed members of the order. It was a signal that each team's designated muggle family had escaped and civilians were safe. Lily counted 8, 9, 10... And James raised his own wand. A similar shot of blue darted up.

She saw the ripple of protective enchantments in the sky.

The death eaters were trapped.

Smiling at the brilliance of it all, she could hear the beginnings of confusion as the dark wizards who tried to escape were blocked by powerful enchantments from 11 pairs and more.

" Stay close." James nibbled on his lip, frown intact. " And be careful. Don't stray too far. It'll be better if we stick together."

" I'm not going anywhere." She assured, adjusting the grip on her wand. " Where are we off to now?"

" Honesty, I don't know. We'd better stick to the shadows though. Who knows wha—"

The shop right in front of them exploded into little bits.

Cackling followed, penetrating through the dust conjured up by the fallen building. They swiftly rose from their defensive positions, wands aimed straight at the silhouettes emerging through the smoke. A large burly man, the one she'd seen at the book shop came into view, flanked by a shorter, buxom woman...girl?

Bellatrix.

Shocked, the two Gryffindors inched closer to each other, shoulder to shoulder. Bellatrix Black was smiling at them like they were her most favourite people in the world. Her ebony curly hair was a mess, black robes tight, and eyes a touch wild. James almost thought she looked insane.

" Look at this!" She grinned, playing with her wand, sauntering closer. Her heavily lidded eyes and dark complexion did nothing to soothe their tension. Neither recognised the man she was accompanying. Bellatrix inched closer and closer. " My juniors! Here! In Diagon Alley."

James gritted his teeth. If only they'd just attack, he could alleviate his tension. Bellatrix was just playing around with them. She smiled again. "And the girl just so happens to be a mudblood..."

Lily felt James still beside her, and she dared to take a peek at him, ignoring her own fears. He was glaring intensely at his best mate's evil cousin, jaw clenched. The crazy Slytherin had ebony locks very similar to Sirius's and that made Lily want to attack her. She didn't deserve to resemble him in any way.

"Grab the girl then," the man drawled, as if bored. " Kill the other one."

The two teens stiffened. Bellatrix let out a shriek of pleasure. " Oh gladly, Dolohov!" she whipped towards them with her wand outstretched. " Go away now, Potter. We'll let you go if you let us have the mudblood."

"Dream on, Bella." He growled back. She erupted into giggles again. " Oh yes.." she gasped in between, " I forgot. We'll just have to kill them both, Dolohov. See, Potter here is a bit of a gentleman."

" Get the bloke. I'll take Bellatrix." James murmured quietly and Lily nodded discreetly. " Whatever you do—"

"Don't let them touch me. " she muttered back. " I know. Be careful, Potter. I'll kill you if you die on me."

" Wouldn't dream of it, sweetheart. See you on the other side." He replied, swallowing his anxiety. Trust her, she's an exceptional witch. She's held back three death eaters at once before remember? But that didn't mean this was any better. Watching the scene in front of his eyes would be the worst. James knew there was nothing to do about it, no matter how much he hated it, so tapping into his inner Gryffindor bravado, he then called out loudly to their attackers, as if he was in school, bullying a bunch of Slytherins. A smug smile spread over his face at the memory. This would be fun.

As long as Lily didn't get hurt.

" Oi, Bella." He said," I'm getting tired of waiting."

" Poor poor thing." She cooed mockingly. " I'll help you with that."

And she fired. Spell after spell, in an alarmingly quick manner, not even looking the slightest bit tensed or apprehensive. She was full of confidence, and occasional cackles. James and Lily retaliated furiously, one attacking while the other defended, movements a lot more in sync than usual. Dolohov had joined the battle immediately, adding his own little twists and curses. Most of them were things Lily had only read about in some ancient books, never actually used today. Flashes of light collided and scattered, creating a variety of bright combinations in the thick, soot filled air. To think that a few minutes ago, they'd been eating icecream and bickering over trivial things...

Bellatrix tried something new each time she got the chance, but the two Gryffindors were living up to their ranks easily. Deflecting and parrying most of the jinxes, they pushed the death eaters back together, forcing their way out of the shadows and into the centre of the arena. Bellatrix's smile faltered and twisted into a snarl. And that's when she saw a loop.

Potter and the mudblood worked together, more intent on protecting the other than attacking and finishing off.

Smiling widely, the Slytherin suddenly switched to one target, deciding to go for the girl. She'd always hated redheads.

A sudden blast of red was sent between them, separating the two teens as they jumped aside to avoid it. Forcing her away from James, Bellatrix cornered her, their own little battle moving to the centre. Dolohov engaged the Chaser in a fierce duel so fast, James had just enough time to cast a wide eyed glance at Lily. And the second they separated, his mind was torn into two. Between keeping himself alive and looking over at Lily, he was in a bit of a fix. A curse flew at him, one he barely managed to dodge, hitting the walls of a building behind him and exploding into pieces. James ducked in an attempt to rescue himself from the rubble, and in that split second, he realized he needed to get his head in the game. Staying optimistic is imperative. Dumbledore's voice spoke in his ear, clear through the chaos. Know that good always triumphs. There is no victory without belief.

Standing up, clearing his head, locking eyes for shorter than fraction of a second with a pair of green ones and upon feeling the split second weird connection screaming understanding, he smirked casually at the bigger man, adjusting his sleeve as if he had all the time in the world. He let Dumbledore's words ring in his ears, and with the imprint of that momentary significant glance he'd shared with Lily behind his eyes, James pulled out a few tricks of his own.

Seeing his smile, something calmed inside Lily's turbulent stomach. Adrenaline and the high of the battle made her grin herself at Bellatrix's sneering face and she launched into a series of weird charms she'd mastered from Flitwick, using the destruction around them to her advantage. This annoyed Bellatrix to no ends. She turned feral, growling at the now increasingly confident red head who was surprising her with talent. Lily felt her hand move in its own, spell after spell raining form her head. Together the two head students tried to make their way back to each other. The death eaters refused to give them a gap, though, and foiled all their attempts. Lily held on to her inner voice whispering encouragement. She thought of her dad and mum, thought of friends in an attempt to keep optimism. She had to see them again.

But her arm was starting to sag with fatigue, the high lowering slightly as exhaustion made itself prominent. A curse flew dangerously close to her ear and she stifled a gasp on feeling it sear past. Bellatrix cackled again, seeing her falter.

" Tired, mudblood?" she sneered, firing a body bind curse at the girl which she dodged. " I wouldn't expect anything else from a filthy Gryffindor, all simply faking bravado. My tosser of a cousin must be rubbing off on you."

James sent one worried glance her way before holding back Dolohov. But he needn't have.

Bellatrix had just signed her own death warrant.

The infamous Evans pride and loyalty burst into life, fiercely shoving away any inkling of fatigue Lily had felt. Eyes blazing, she turned over a new leaf, Bellatrix did not just diss her house and Sirius in one go.

No, that was just plain idiocy. No one did that.

Once again, Bellatrix Black found herself being pushed back by a furious Lily Evans, and this time, she couldn't retaliate. The younger girl cornered her, not giving the female death eater a single gap to breathe.

James felt his grin return at Bellatrix's stumbling form and the sudden vehemence in Lily's attacks. A laugh actually bubbled from his chest as her ferocity spread to him as well, making his own tiredness fly out the window. Now in control, they made their way back to each other slowly, step by step.

And at one point, he could feel her next to him, warm, alive for now, and the sensation of her shoulder brushing against his arm made another bout of relief flow inside, confidence returning in full swing as they smoothly went back to their pattern of defending the other first. It worked like a charm.

" You should watch your words, Bella." James called out at the backtracking Slytherin. Lily laughed from next to him, and the sound had him nearly out of his mind with positivity. Bellatrix's snarling face had him actually smug.

But then something went terribly wrong.

A flash of bright light in the sky, an explosion. And suddenly there were two other hooded figures next to them. The protective enchantments had been breached.

For a full minute, the two worked furiously to keep all four attackers at bay. But at some point, she froze in pain.

From next to him, Lily screamed.

Terror gripped his heart, its claws sinking into the muscles, making it bleed, but he couldn't do anything. Vaguely aware of her sinking to her knees, having clenched her jaw to keep in the shouts of pain and growling in an effort not to let herself scream again, he held back three death eaters in an attempt to protect both of them, finally noticing Bellatrix pointing her wand straight at the fallen red head with a feral grin on her face.

He'd never felt so helpless. James didn't have the strength or the luxury to even spare her a glance.

Abruptly, with distinct pops, five other people joined them.

Fleamont Potter, Sirius and Frank, Marlene and Alice, all wands out and looking in control. Instantly, the tables turned. All three attacking death eaters were taken out of James's hands, and Alice and Sirius, looking murderous, furiously fired curses at Bellatrix, breaking her concentration. And Lily stopped convulsing in agony.

Forgetting the rest of the battle, he dropped next to her, absolutely horrified; at his own helplessness, and at her white face and trembling form. The tortured scream still rang in his ears, a living nightmare, tearing his being into tiny little pieces and burning them in a searing fire.

James tried to wake her up, but she didn't respond to his shaking or calling, simply lying there, trembling against her will, unconscious. He was ashamed to feel his eyes sting for a second as she remained unresponsive, pessimism engulfing him in a huge gulp. This wasn't like him at all.

But she wasn't even stirring.

Her form became blurred for just a second, before he felt a hand on his shoulder. Familiar voices surrounded them, but he didn't look up to see who it was. His father's voice spoke in his ear. The tears vanished.

" Stay strong, James." He murmured soothingly, the calming tone a balm over his shattered heart and optimism. "You're panicking. She's just unconscious."

The instructions clicked. With surprisingly steady hands, he pointed his wand at her, swallowed and muttered, " Rennervate."

A flutter of eyelids, and a soft sigh later, she stirred, fighting to keep her eyes open. James let out a deep breath, his father patting his shoulder comfortingly. Only then did he notice that Sirius was crouched next to her fallen form as well, looking a combination of rage and worry. Marlene was right there too, crying by now, but still tight lipped as Lily slowly came back to consciousness.

His breath caught as she opened her eyes, and looked directly at him. Bright, still lively green locked with tortured hazel and things fell into place. And she smiled.

He would've choked if he didn't care so much about his dignity.

" Lily!" Marlene reached over and pushed away her auburn hair from her damp forehead," God, are you alive?"

She tore her eyes away from his and fixed them on her best friend with a sigh. " I am. I'm alive. Isn't everybody...?"

"Everyone's fine, Lily." Fleamont reappeared and her gaze shot to him. The man stood behind his son, looking at her with a mix of respect and pride. Lily forced her eyes to stay on the older wizard and not descend again to the boy. It would mean trouble.

Frustration bubbled in her chest. After all this crap, she still couldn't relax.

Lily sat up, with help from Marlene, and surveyed the damage. Diagon alley was in pieces. Smoke erupted from everywhere, buildings crashed and turned to dust, the whole area a cloud of soot and dust and darkness. It had never before looked so...dead.

" Dad," James asked finally, a little too quiet but still steady, his eyes never leaving her face, " what exactly happened?"

" They broke through our defences. " Fleamont said gravely. " Voldemort's taught them a few tricks."

" But how did you get here so fast?" Lily mumbled, wincing as she straightened. " If more death eaters had arrived, how did you escape?"

" No one arrived, Lily." Marlene said patiently, rubbing the sore spot on her best friend's upper back. " See, we had all begun to push them back. None of them were thatbad. You two just got stuck with the worst of the lot." At that, she sent a swift timid glance towards a very quiet Sirius. " Things were looking up. But then, someone somewhere broke the enchantments and began to escape. A lot of them fled. We actually thought it was over but then we heard—"

She fell silent, not wanting to continue. Marlene almost squeezed her eyes shut to block the echo of that single tortured scream, from a voice so familiar. Blood chilling just got a whole new level of meaning.

" Me?!" Lily asked incredulously. Then she scowled at herself. " Damn. That's degrading."

" Actually Lily, " Sirius spoke up at last, his voice startling the girl because she wasn't even aware he was there. " you should be proud. Bella's a pro at the Cruciatus curse. No one she's ever tortured came back without at least a scar. You didn't even scream."

The strain in his voice broke her heart and she sighed painfully, her chest sore. " Sirius, don't—"

" I'm going to go help Moony. Coming, McKinnon?"

Marlene nodded swiftly and got up, accepting his outstretched hand. " I have to go, Lily. Alice needs help too." She looked at her softly, looking a mix of relieved and exasperated. " You have a thing for The Cruciatus don't you? I'm glad you're okay, though."

"I'm glad you're alright too." Lily smiled back, looking at her best friend fondly, silently thanking God for keeping her safe. Where she would be without Marlene, she didn't want to think about.

"Take care of yourself. " Marlene stepped away and winked at her, despite the tear tracks on her face.

The girl nodded mutely as Marlene spun gracefully on the spot, disappearing, then glared at Sirius. A silent argument waged between them. Sirius, drowning in guilt because it was his family who did this to her, wanted nothing more than to give her a hug, and let her convince him that it wasn't his fault. But he just couldn't push away the fact that it was Bellatrix who had tortured her. His own flesh and blood.

He couldn't touch Lily. How was he supposed to even look at her?

But her furious and exhausted eyes screamed otherwise and he was torn.

"Padfoot." James sighed. And the boy understood. He shouldn't be thinking about his own little problems now. Get a grip. They were worlds apart. Bellatrix was nothing like him.

So he made his way back and dropped next to her again, and engulfed her in a hug. Lily smiled into his shoulder ignoring her sore muscles, murmuring soothingly." They're not family, Sirius. We are, remember?"

He nodded silently into her hair. Then released the witch with a kiss to her crown. " I'm gonna go and help Remus."

Lily grinned at him, shooting him a double thumbs up, and Sirius smiled involuntarily at her mustered cheer. Mother hen indeed. Sighing to himself, he exchanged a glance with James and got up, swiftly apparating after Marlene.

"Alright, let's get you two home." Fleamont wiped at his forehead with a towel, looking tired. " Help her up, James. We'll have to apparate."

"And who said we're going anywhere?" James raised his eyebrows at his father " You need help setting defenses."

"And repairs." Lily piped up. " Let us stay, Mr Potter. We couldn't possibly go and rest when there's still so much to be done."

Mr Potter glanced at the firmly set faces of two seventeen year old wizards, so much more matured by the darkness in their world. He glanced at his son, and the light in his eyes. The change he underwent, the way he grew up into a fine young man with morals and a passion for justice... He knew Lily had a large part to play in that. And that thought made him want to laugh. She was a fighter, that one.

" Fine. Stay. But Lily, the second you feel funny..."

"I'll sit down." She promised, flashing him a charming smile. Fleamont grinned at his son's weary expression at her promise.

Ah... Kids.

Instructing them to walk around and pitch in anywhere they liked, he began to leave but then Lily stopped him, looking a little worried as she asked about her parents and Euphemia. He told her they were fine, and waiting at the Potter mansion. He'd received a patronus in reply to his own one informing them that everything was fine. Charles and Caroline were anxious.

"Don't tell them." She insisted, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. James followed the movement, achingly aware of how close she was, fighting off wild, abrupt urges to do it for her. The whole ordeal had heightened his feelings to an indescribable level. He needed to pull himself in quite frequently. She implored to his father silently. " I don't want them to worry, they'd probably make it a bigger deal than it is. "

"Parents." James sighed in mock exasperation. She shot him a grin and then turned back to his dad. " Please, Mr Potter."

"I understand." The man allowed. " Don't worry. My lips are sealed."

" Thank you." She sighed.

Fleamont instructed them to take a few more minutes before getting up, and left to help around. A silence followed, both the teens lost in their own thoughts.

" That was some shopping trip," Lily mumbled finally, glancing at him and quickly looking away towards destruction. She didn't trust herself right now. Not being in full control of her thoughts and body due to tiredness, and having her raging emotions fly around in her head was a dangerous combination to have around James. This whole brush with death thing did wonders to her feelings. They were currently out of control.

Wonderful.

James smiled in reply, not able to keep his eyes on her for long either. He got up, brushing off the dust but failing miserably. Frowning at his dirty cloak, he made a mental note to throw it away; it was torn in a really creepy way. He watched Lily for a second, her bright green eyes staring at the rubble with a frown. That was the second time she'd been under the Cruciatus curse, the second time she'd refused to give the death eaters what they wanted; tortured cries of innocent humans. Probably the first real time she's been so close to death.

But she was still breathing.

Head considerably lighter as the fact sunk in, he poked her head to get her attention and silently pulled her up when she looked at him. He took an extra minute to let go of her hands.

Not speaking another word to each other, they stepped out to walk around, stumbling a little over the rubble, Lily being a little extra woozy. They went past witches and wizards they'd never seen before but many of them seemed to know the two of them and waved or nodded or smiled in acknowledgement.

" Who are all these people?" Lily asked bemusedly as more and more people were seen on the streets, working in pairs and small groups, repairing shops. The 'Reparo' charm didn't work all the time, things destroyed by dark curses had to be fixed from scratch. James shrugged, ruffling his hair absently," Order people. They sure seem to know us though; that's the tenth guy who's smiled at me."

" Or maybe it's your hair. " Lily grinned, walking over a large chunk of shattered wall," It looks smashing today."

"Doesn't it always?" he smiled back unfazed at her for a second, before automatically tying to flatten it, looking a little bothered. Lily laughed.

They marched a long way, frequently shopping to help random people, tying to do as much as they could. At some point, they came to a huge pile of rubble, the remains of a book shop. Lily looked a little pained as she bent to retrieve a half charred book, something about a rabbit and a pot. A children's book? She ran her fingers over the charred edge, now cooled down, getting bits of soot on her hand. Thinking about the losses the owner would have to go through, she sighed softly.

" Moony and Padfoot are somewhere here. We'll have to go over this."

Lily reluctantly dropped the book back, and surveyed the big wall of destroyed bricks and cement. " Okay... Let's go then."

" I will." James smiled. " but isn't this a little too strenuous for you, Lily? Maybe we should blast this away. "

She looked at him sharply, eyes narrowed at the challenge. " Just climb, Potter."

" You won't finish without stumbling, Lils. You're exhausted."

"Climb."

He shook his head and then proceeded to scale the rubble, and at the top, leapt over it in one graceful movement. His form disappeared to the other side. Lily began to follow him, going smoothly.

Then her head swirled and she stumbled. A few pieces of rock and bricks rumbled down.

The girl froze, biting her tongue in dread. Accordingly, a smug voice floated over from the other side. " Alright back there, Lily?"

"Just fine." She replied scathingly and continued her ministrations, clutching her dignity and focusing on making it to the other side. When her head appeared at the top of the pile, James was waiting on the other side with raised eyebrows and hands stiffed inside his pockets, eyes laughing although his face was controlled. Her eyes narrowed.

" Alright, come on," he stretched out a hand, " That's enough bravado for one day."

Strictly ignoring him, she climbed down by herself, disregarding her lack of balance. Like hell if she was about to show weakness. So what if she was tired? Everyone was tired! And they were all working their arses off. She had full faith in her body. It was fine and totally in contro—

She slipped.

And would've fallen to an embarrassing broken arm if he didn't pull her away in time. A sinewy arm wrapped around her middle the second her footing gave way and she launched downwards, easily swinging the girl away, setting the miffed red head on the ground carefully. "Stubborn, aren't you?" he grinned, " I told you it was too—"

"Oh shut up." She grumbled, stepping away from his grip, but holding onto his arm because, quite frankly, her head was spinning. And not in the good way.

Looking around, she saw Sirius and Remus to their left, both of them carefully lifting a piece of large concrete onto a shop, with their wands.

The second he saw them, Lupin dropped the heavy thing. It landed right on Sirius's foot.

" OW! Moony! You sodding git!"

But the werewolf merely waved his wand absently and Sirius's foot seemed to have healed itself. His brown eyes were fixed on Lily and James, a little wide. Ignoring Sirius's cursing, Remus rushed forward and pulled them both into a hug, letting go of James a minute later, but keeping his arm around the girl.

" Thank God you two are okay!" he sighed, " I've been worried sick."

" We're fine." Lily smiled at Remus. " Are you alright?"

Remus nodded immediately. " Not a scratch on me. I can't believe you got Bellatrix. "

" She was a charmer, really. It was fun wasn't it, James? You seemed to be quite friendly with her." she smiled at the Chaser, eyes twinkling with an underlying confidence and mischief.

His heart thudded painfully in his chest.

" She doesn't like that name." He informed, ignoring his exploding stomach her laugh. No, this was too dangerous.

" You called her Bella?" Remus asked incredulously. " Prongs!"

" I was mad." The boy shrugged in reply.

" And you're still alive!?"

" Yup. We're just fine." James was watching Sirius with a strange look, wondering what his best mate was doing. Effectively taking his mind off Lily. " Er... I think I'm gonna go and help the dog, if you don't mind. I don't think the poor shop can handle anymore."

His companions smiled or nodded and he left quickly, for once, glad to be away from her. Honestly, if she smiled at him like that one more time...

Deep breaths. Deep breaths always help.

They worked for a long time. Lily and James mostly just skirted around each other, giving themselves time to cool off and get a grip. Though tired, the teens pushed on, trying to get the shattered valley back to normal. At some point, James left to help with the temporary defences. She stayed back, even though she wanted to go, her body wasn't up to it. Stupid Cruciatus curse had an effect on her, no matter how much she fought against it.

Remus and Sirius relayed information about their own encounters with the death eaters, trimming their stories to make a little less horrible. But really, no one else was tortured. The Order had managed to subdue the dark wizards before that.

" But we almost had them." Lily sighed, sitting down heavily on a piece of rock in weakness disguised as frustration; the truth was, her legs were trembling. " If those other two hadn't shown up..."

" Yes, it was unfortunate." Remus agreed, looking grave as he fixed a broken glass door. Lily traced the gaunt lines on his face, and wondered if she'd ever be as strong as this boy; he was doomed to live his life as a werewolf, shunned by society but here he was, fighting and standing for justice. His hair had grown longer, she realized, the sandy brown a shade darker than normal. Remus sighed. " They didn't exactly like the fact that I was fighting against them. Promised to tell Greyback I was here. I'll have a happy summer next year."

"Oh, God." Lily's eyes went wide. " What will you do, Remus?"

"Run. Hide." He said nonchalantly as he lifted a piece of what used to be a shelf with his wand. For a second, all uncaring like that, she thought he looked like Sirius. He tried to repair the broken shelf, glancing at her with a resigned smile. " I've been ready for this since I was little, Lily. Don't worry about me."

" You have a plan?"

"Nah." Remus grinned. " But I'm ready."

That must've been the first time she understood exactly why and how Moony was such an integral part of the Marauders. She smiled at him, with a worried frown on her face, though.

"You on the other hand," Remus continued, looking at her with a raised eyebrow," seem to have a liking for—"

"The Cruciatus curse." Sirius finished, rolling his eyes, but his heart wasn't in the movement, " That's exactly what McKinnon said."

"I'm not exactly very fond of excruciating pain." Lily said dryly. " I'd rather stay unhurt, thank you."

"No, Lily-bean." Sirius grinned, flicking his wand at a pile of shattered glass and making it come together , brand new. Lily got up to assist, feeling the shakiness in her legs subsiding. " You're a masochist." Sirius informed her and she groaned, knowing where this was going. " You're very fond of putting yourself through a lot of pain."

"And a sadist." Remus added with a sly smile of his own, " Torturing other people, leaving them out of their mind with longing. Tut, tut, Lily. " He laughed at her incredulous expression.

Lily opened her mouth to retort but with two distinct pops, James and Fleamont reappeared. They looked infinitely relieved, but dishevelled, ready to sit down. James gave her a smile, now back in enough control of his body. She gave back a sly smile of her own, eyes flickering to the white dust on his hair, making it seem like he'd gotten doused in flour. Lily looked at Mr Potter explaining that a shop had nearly collapsed on them, but saw out of the corner of her eye as his hand moved to it with a suspicious frown, eyes widening in horror as he saw the white smear from that collapsing wall on his fingers. Snickering quietly to herself, she glanced at Sirius and caught his smirking eyes at the right time and they both grinned. As if they hadn't been a hair's breadth away from death just under four hours ago.

She was deeply grateful for that.

But her head was unsteady.

"All done. Drop your wands." Fleamont smiled tiredly. " We're going home."

" But there's still—"

"Lily, shush." Sirius frowned at her. " I want to leave."

"What about Peter and Marlene and Alice?"

" All gone. They asked after you, Alice especially. She was awfully mad."

Lily chewed on her lip. Well, if things were in control, then...

" Dumbledore wants us to go back." James grinned. " He said he'd meet us there. Wants a word, apparently."

"Yes, your first heads meeting is going to be at the Potter Mansion. "

Lily offered Sirius a tired punch. Her legs were shaking again. And eyes were drooping.

Together, they grasped hands as Mr Potter transported them all back safely. James's hand was warm in hers, the flutter in her chest feeble, masked by the nausea gripping her insides. The crushing darkness was momentary, suffocating, but the next second, her lungs expanded.

Immediately, his arm wrapped around her waist, and she realized her traitorous legs had given away. Hands clutched at his shirt involuntarily and she cursed under her breath, trying to force strength back into her limbs. " Colourful." He laughed quietly at her swears, breath warm against her ear," I'm proud of you."

"I learned from the best." She muttered, forcing life into her legs. Pushing away from him gingerly, Lily raised her eyes to a—

What in bloody blazes was that?!

" Welcome to our not so humble abode, Lily." Fleamont laughed at her wide eyes and open mouth.

It was a castle. Or maybe two castles. They were standing in front a humongous iron gate, looking very bit foreboding as it was inviting. There were gargoyles on either sides of the shiny metal, watching, their mouths aflame with a fire inside. Beyond the entrance, there was an extending pathway, a large patch of...a quidditch pitch. Figures. The house itself looked a little too much like a castle, but the entrance had been modernised. She let herself be tugged forward, her fatigue taking a moment to gape at the wide walls and ancient stones. James hadn't removed his hand completely, lingering in case she collapsed. They were pressed a lot closer than normal, her shoulder almost touching his chest, his fingers light against the small of her back, neither having the will to move away. But Lily had found her consciousness, somewhere beneath all that aching and sleepiness, and besides, the other two were a bit too tired to remain apart as well. They were all almost collapsing on each other. Sirius explained lazily that it was an ancient house, having been the home of several Potter generations and as a result, it had a few tricks up its walls.

Stepping into the threshold, Fleamont knocked twice on the wooden door. James's hand dropped. The door shook, as if about to open but then whoever was on the other side hesitated.

" Who is it?" Euphemia Potter's voice called from inside, not shaky, but close.

" Open up, Mum." James called. " I'm hungry."

There was silence on the other side for a few moments. And then a shuffling. " Yes that does sound like something my son would say—"

James rolled his eyes.

" – but I still have to check. What's your favourite colour?"

"Mum." He sighed." It's blue. Death eaters would check that. It's not even a proper question."

"And if he'd said green, " Sirius whispered in Lily's ear, " I swear I would've puked." She elbowed him in irritation.

" Who's the man in the portrait down the corridor to your room?"

"Now that's a question." James stepped forward. " It's grandad in a tutu. My most prized possession. Got it when I was 10, tried to sell it at—"

" Okay, okay, fine. I suppose I have to ask all of you something similar?"

" Its okay, Euphemia." Fleamont sighed. "Just open up."

Accordingly, the door opened, revealing a pale looking Mrs Potter. Trusting the ancient protection their home had in it, which prevented outsiders from entering at all costs, she engulfed her husband in a hug, kissed her son, and Sirius on the cheek and pulled both Lily and Remus into an embrace. Relief shone in her eyes.

"Your parents are waiting in the living room dear." She said to Lily, her arm wrapped around the red head's waist as they headed inside, murmuring in her ear over the sound of the boys talking to Mr Potter. The woman looked at her with a mix of worry and admiration. " I heard what happened, though. Are you alright, love?"

"I'm great." She grinned tiredly, feeling her legs begin to tremble again. Lily swallowed a frustrated cry at that. " Can I go and see them? I bet they're worried."

"Of course. Just hold on a second, Dumbledore's talking to them." Euphemia smiled as Lily looked a tad surprised. " Come along, all of you." She said in a louder tone. " We need to get some energy inside your bodies."

They walked, okay dragged themselves, to another room, a large fireplace to the wall and coffee table in the middle, surrounded by couches that looked awfully inviting. Sirius and Remus plopped down immediately, cloaks stashed away, looking perfectly at home but Lily stood merely out of politeness. Seeing her hesitation, the boys collectively rolled their eyes, and James pushed her lightly into the couch, making her fall in between the other two Marauders. Then he left, following his mother—who promised a drink and some food— into some other room, talking in a low voice. Sirius nudged her, grinning tiredly. "Relaaaaax. Its just them. You're being too polite."

She made a face at him. Pulling the same expression back at her, Sirius gathered a large number of cushions and placed them on his lap and then dropped into them, effectively sleeping on his own lap. Remus stole two of them and rested against the other side of the couch, curling up. Lily chose the opportunity to use Sirius's back as her own pillow, and dropped, arms cushioning her head. It wasn't very comfortable, his muscles were a bit too hard. Rolling her eyes at that, she used her forelimbs as something to rest her head against, eyes drooping shut immediately.

"There had better not be drool on my shirt, Lily-bean." He muttered, the vibrations breaking her out of the brink of unconsciousness. Lily scowled at the interruption.

" You're a dog. You drool over yourself all the time."

" I don't mind my own saliva. Yours however, belong to Prongs only."

There was enough energy left in her for a light flush and a hammer fist to his back but she only succeeded in hurting her hand. Sirius merely chucked. Lily returned to her previous position, grumbling under her breath.

And within seconds, she was out like a light.

Euphemia walked in not five minutes later to see all three of them fast asleep, breathing slowly. Each face was pale and wan, but peaceful as they dozed. She smiled fondly, and set the tray of juice and some sandwiches on the table quietly. Lily stirred. But she didn't wake up.

She felt her son move in to join her, looking unsurprised. He tugged her out, quietly closing the door leaving a small gap behind.

" Poor things." She mumbled, sighing in sadness. " So tired. They're much too young for such violence."

"What am I, 50?" James asked incredulously.

" Of course I meant you too, James." His mother chided, taking his hand and pulling him into the kitchen. He flashed her a smile and sat down watching as she moved around, gathering things. With a soft pang, he realized she was starting to show her age. " Mum." He sighed," Put that away, I'll take care of it."

" I can wash the dishes son, I'm not that old." She gave him a reprimanding look as she came over to push a glass of chilled pumpkin juice towards him. " Get those thoughts out of your head. I'm not dying just yet."

"How did you know? "James smiled questioningly, taking a sip of the cold liquid, incredibly thankful for the instant energy it offered.

" I'm your mother." She replied simply. "Don't need to be an accomplished legilemens to know what's going on inside my own son's head."

He grinned at the table, but his heart wasn't in it. Mind swirling rapidly, James absently traced patterns in the condensation on the glass. Only, his thoughts failed to make sense. Bits and pieces of things that worried him popped up randomly but was replaced by the next one before he had enough time to figure out a solution, things that had happened that afternoon, flashes of his new badge that looked a lot heavier than it was, Bellatrix.

And a scream...

He hastily took another gulp of the juice, the cold harsh against throat as he swallowed too quick, but he welcomed it. It was a sharp sting that cleared his head a little. He looked up to see his mother watching him carefully, with a knowing glint in her eye. But she looked patient and oozed calm, something he was grateful for. James was starting to lose his grip. Someone needed to be steady.

" Don't think too much." She said softly, patting his hand, " I'm not much of a warrior, but I know that it won't do any good to dwell on mishaps."

He looked away, feeling awfully like a little kid, asking his mother for advice. He was an adult for Merlin's sake! The age for going to his parents for every single thing had long passed. He should've been more mature, more responsible.

A lot more stronger. Better at duels.

But his mother as working her mum-magic, making him lose his guard and blurt out the truth. How was it that in their presence, he lost all his self reliance principles and craved wanting to be pampered and looked after and fussed over like so many years ago?

" I could've done better." He mumbled finally, staring intently at his glass. " If I'd just been a little stronger, I could've stopped it."

" But you weren't. For God's sake James, you've not even graduated. There's still so much for you to learn!" She gripped his hand tightly, and continued on a softer tone," Besides, four against one isn't exactly fair, even to full fledged Aurors. I reckon you did amazing. Dumbledore thinks so too. And I bet she doesn't think it's your fault."

" Of course not." James snorted into his juice as he raised it to his lips again, " She thinks its hers."

"I figured as much." Euphemia sighed, smiling. " I've been talking to Caroline and Charles. She's a worry wart isn't she?"

" For things that really matter to her." He nodded, then rolled his eyes. " Unfortunately, that includes exams and assignments and crap. We're awarded with near hysteria every term thanks to that. As if Moony wasn't bad enough."

Euphemia laughed, the sound making him smile on his own. He loved his mother's laugh. Next to the rush of wind in his ears as he flew, it was his most favourite sound in the world. Not that it was dainty or elegant or melodious or something, but it was full of life and genuine happiness, a sound that was infectious, effectively taking away his worries with its lively thrum.

Lily had exactly the same laugh; brimming with sincerity and exuberance and warmth.

So really, it was no surprise he'd fallen for it immediately. That lovely sound was now parallel to his mother's on the favourite-list.

Okay, stop. I'll just go and get myself a bunch of flowers and skip around singing and weaving them into garlands.

But the truth was the truth.

The sound of shuffling feet had him look up, and see the long white beard of his headmaster. Dumbledore had walked in at some point, and was setting himself down on a stool, Charles and Caroline behind him, looking tired. They smiled at James as he looked at them, surprised for he'd been so lost in his thoughts, he didn't notice any of them walking in. He grinned back quickly, feeling a twinge of guilt as he realized they were being kept in the dark about what had happened. His eyes flickered to his mother for a second, who was getting them glasses of firewisky, before addressing his headmaster.

" Professor." He stood, " I didn't see you there. Sorry. "

"Please, James." The old man chuckled, " Sit down. It's quite alright. You seemed quite preoccupied."

He smiled wearily at the intent blue eyes. " Yeah, we've got a bit of a problem out there."

The old headmaster chuckled again, thanking Mrs Potter as she placed a glass in front of him. Mr and Mrs Evans looked completely at ease with the self washing crockery and the floating bottle of firewhiskey, bravely taking sips of the drink Euphemia had pushed into their own hands.

" And where's our Head Girl?" Dumbledore questioned, looking mildly curious, " I am informed she has an affinity for the Cruciatus."

"Asleep." James answered, casting a slightly wide eyed glance at the her parents. Dumbledore waved away his concern. "Oh they know, James. I've explained everything."

He glanced worriedly at the two muggles, who were sporting brave but weary smiles. Charles winked at him. " We do know. And I'm just really proud. Of all of you."

Caroline beamed at him too. " Oh yes. I've never seen children like this. You're all being so brave and strong." For a second, her eyes looked teary and James swallowed. " It's unfair. But we're really proud of the way you're all handling it. God knows I wouldn't have been half as courageous a you."

Charles nodded, eyes never leaving the young wizard's pale, worried face. " Lily will be just fine in the end, don't you think, Carol?"

" She'll be wonderful." The woman smiled.

Maybe it was guilt that was so exposed on his face, or maybe doubt or shame, but sensing whatever it was, Caroline prompted the boy to hold her gaze. " You know, things like this will just keep happening. People you love will get hurt."

James stopped breathing.

" But that doesn't mean you should feel disheartened every time." She continued, " You need to pick yourself up and move forward."

" Quite right." Dumbledore agreed silently, the x-raying gaze back on James." Trust is imperative in this battle, James. And our emotions may be our strongest weapons...but they are also our biggest weaknesses. We must learn to find the balance."

There was a lump in his throat, hard and huge, and he swallowed it with difficulty, nodding to show he understood. Dumbledore was right, as usual. He did let his emotions rule him a lot. But what was surprising him right now was the fact that two non magical people, mere muggles who had just gotten a glimpse of what their world was like right then, were being so strong and understanding and brave.

More courageous and headstrong than he'd ever be. James felt respect flutter inside him.

There was a knock on the kitchen door. Five heads snapped up to see Sirius, and a tired Remus, and an even more exhausted Lily, who was rubbing her eyes.

" What's this meeting without us?" Sirius demanded, walking in and plopping down next to James as Lily was being smothered in hugs by her parents. " 'Evening, Professor." He added in Dumbledore's direction, stealing James's glass of pumpkin juice. The chaser frowned and snatched it back, once Sirius had drowned it completely.

Dumbledore greeted the three new arrivals happily, looking like himself as he hummed a tune and watched each of them randomly. James kept his eyes on the table, because if he raised them, they'd flick over to her and then stay. For a loooong time. He didn't want to risk that with so many people in the room.

The truth was, he wanted to wrap her in his arms and never let go again, steal her breath in a swift kiss whenever he felt like it, make the mighty Lily go weak and powerless at his touch. Just have her to himself, belong to him.

Because he knew by now that he already belonged to her. The red headed minx held his entire soul in her hands.

She could crush him in a millisecond.

But he'd never act on impulse, never go too far no matter how tempting it was, never tell Lily he was in love with all of her; every aspect, every part, because it was too dangerous. If she pulled away...no, it wouldn't be worth it.

So he swallowed and kept his eyes on the table.

"Prongs." Sirius nudged him. He nodded in Lily's direction as James looked up, " They're leaving."

His heart protested wildly, stomach churned at the thought that they would be unprotected again. But Lily looked adamant, determined. Dumbledore got up then, offering to drop them back and set up a few enchantments himself. That did lessen the nausea considerably for James but now his eyes were stuck on her face.

" See you boys." Lily sighed, exchanging a hug with Remus and a fist bump with Sirius. The ebony haired wizard caught her hand in the movement and held it there, swinging side to side. " Be careful, Lily bean. Lock your windows."

"Of course. " she grinned wearily. " You too, Black."

She smiled at James then and pulled him into a surprisingly tight hug, sighing resignedly. " Don't get into trouble. I'll have to see you soon, Head boy. Make sure you stay out of my way."

"Oh no." James grinned back as she pulled away. " I'll be there every minute to annoy you, Lily. Count on it. This'll be one interesting year."

Looking slightly wearily concerned, she stepped back towards her parents, thanking Mrs Potter for the hospitality.

Dumbledore suddenly turned around, looking wide eyed. " Oh! I almost forgot." He angled himself so he could look at all the four Gryffindors, looking serious. " I know all of you have been asked to return a week earlier to the castle. Yes, Sirius, you too. The 'heads and prefects' message was a disguise. We'll be having the entire school defence team back early. It's mainly to set up drills and make you familiar with the enchantments and everything. We will be having five Slytherins prefects with us as well; they need to know about evacuation."

"You think there's going to be a situation like that, Albus?" Euphemia asked quietly, looking grave.

" I expect so. The attack today proves that Voldemort is not going to stay as inactive as he has until now. We need to be prepared, Euphemia. These children are our biggest strength. You need to trust them."

With a small sigh, Mrs Potter resigned. Dumbledore addressed his students again. " So I shall expect you to be on the train on the 23rd of August."

There were nods and murmurs of agreement and Dumbledore beamed again.

Bidding them all goodnight and safety, Lily and her parents left with her headmaster, walking a few paces outside the gate, and then dissaparating.

The next two weeks passed by quickly for Lily. At some point, her parents had tried to get Petunia to come home and she did after hours of persuasion and pleading, but their dinner was unfriendly and cold, Petunia very proud of herself for standing on her own, and never shutting up about this 'Vernon Dursley.' Lily found the name ridiculous and her sister's attitude tiring, but she held on for her parents.

Although, her patience had worn thin towards the end.

Petunia was inserting shrewdly hurtful comments in between her consistent chatter, quite full of herself for being so independent while Lily was wasting her time training to be a weirdo and getting them all into danger. One of her more direct accusations of putting their lives in jeopardy struck a nerve and Lily accidentally made the fire in the hearth blaze wildly. She managed to douse it with her wand, but she'd messed up again in front of Petunia. Hurt, angry and upset, she contemplated heading upstairs but her Gryffindor pride told her to stay, head high. She had to honour her parents' efforts to bring them together.

After that dreadful night, she decided no more going after Petunia. If she wanted to see Lily, she could bring it up.

But despite all that, her heart broke at the way things were.

By the time her latest attempts at fudge making had been deemed better by her father, it was already time to go back to school. So, all packed up on August 23rd, she met the boys and Marlene and Alice at the platform, taking extra time to say goodbye to her parents, walking though the barrier with a heavy heart. It wasn't easy to see them hide their sadness; she could read her parents too well. Sometimes she whished she couldn't but, well...

The step into platform 9 ¾ was something different. Something stirred, changed, cleared. This was it. But instead of feeling insecure and unsure and scared, Lily felt calm and mature. Level headed. She accepted her step into the real world with open arms, looking it in the eye.

And she knew, she was sure, the hand tugging at hers, the arm around her neck, the flash of curly brown and sandy blonde in front of her...had a huge role to play in the change.

The familiar pair of hazel eyes looked just as ready as she was, and she knew they we're on the same page.

They boarded the train, lavishly choosing their compartment, settling quickly. Talks and laughs and chocolates were shared, looking like a group of kids going off to school again, but inside each one, underneath mirth and mischief, they were alert.

Other kids dropped by from time to time to see them, all grins and greetings. Eight hours of lounging later, the group of teens arrived at Hogwarts, inside the carriages within seconds, making their way to the castle. Dumbledore and McGonagall saw them inside, ushering the teens to the great hall for dinner. It was a little weird to see the school this way, Lily decided, glancing at the stormy enchanted ceiling. It was like Christmas holidays, except... no snow or flashy trees.

She glanced around her. The students were all seated at a common table, without the house distinction. The other three tables had disappeared. She knew Dumbledore must've done this to promote team spirit and everything but the Slytherins didn't look happy. Especially since majority present there were Gryffindors, then a bunch of Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs.

Far off towards her left, James and Sirius were engaged in a furious whisper- conversation. Sirius was slowly building a wicked grin and the chaser looked weary. Shrugging it off, Lily was pulled into a bout of ' I hate men!' spurting from Marlene. Having been dumped like that by someone she liked, the poor girl was now adamant not to date someone. But Lily knew this was only temporary. She turned to the silent Alice next to her instead. " Al, you're awfully quiet. What's wrong?"

"Nothing." Alice sighed as Marlene finally realized Lily wasn't listening to her and leaned over to listen with a miffed expression which lessened as she took in Alice's desolation. " I was just thinking...it's going to be a lonely year."

"Ah...yes." Lily nodded in understanding. " Cons of dating a senior. Frank's off for training isn't he?"

The mousy haired girl nodded. She cast her eyes around as students began to get up. Lily patted her hand. " You still have us, Al. Cheer up!"

Alice snorted, her desolation giving way to mischief," Right. That's going to happen. By the end of this month, you'll be preoccupied with a certain Quidditch player and Marlene is going to cave at some point."

Lily scowled. " I will not."

"Oh Lily." Alice sighed as Marlene grinned, not responding to the comment on herself because she knew it was true. " You're sharing a common room with him."

"So?"

" So? You'll be seeing a lot more of each other."

Lily was now looking at the emptying table absently as well, her brow furrowed. A drop of sweat trickled along her temple. Alice suppressed a snort; it was like ice cold in there.

" You'll succumb to the sexual tension by Christmas." Alice nodded firmly as Lily flushed. " And I said Christmas because I know how stubborn you are. If it was someone else, I would've said, what, three days?"

"Two." Marlene supplied.

Lily looked mortified. " Why?! What's special about Potter that none of these girls can keep in in their pants?!"

" You should be able to tell us that Lils." Marlene looked a lot like a sly Cheshire cat at the moment. " Have you seen that boy?"

" He's eatable." Alice grinned widely at Lily's increasingly flushing face. The poor head girl sputtered. " I hadn't even thought that way...! You idiots! How am I supposed to... Oh God. I'm a dead woman."

" Why?"

Lily jumped violently as she sensed James right behind her. The scent floated in, her senses went haywire and her neck felt hotter. This was terrible.

So much for being mature and not acting like a school girl. But this was serious. Her reactions and feelings were mature.

Ohhhhh Merlin. Not good.

Alice and Marlene were looking quite pleased with themselves as they grinned brightly at the confused Chaser. " Hullo, James."

" Hi?"

" You must be here to escort this young woman to the common room." Alice said, patting Lily on the back." Although you might want to keep your hands off. She's hypersensitive right now and will probably—"

"Alice!" Lily's mortified squeal made the girls erupt into laughter and James's eyes light up in a roughish grin. She risked a look at him and felt her stomach do a violent flip. Cursing her friends silently, she grabbed her bag and got up quickly, climbing over the bench, James stepped aside to let her pass. " I'll see you in the morning." She mumbled to the two grinning girls and glanced again at James. " Come on, Potter. McGonagall's waiting."

The Chaser winked at the two girls and strode after Lily, easily catching up with her. He saw her ears were still pink, she was chewing hard on her lip. He grinned. " What was that all about?"

"Just them being... Idiotic." She mumbled. " Don't mind what they said."

"So should I keep my hands off?"

" No."

Then her eyes widened in mortification as she realized what she'd said. James was grinning slyly. " So you don't want me to keep my hands off? I'd be happy to oblige, Evans."

"No! That's not what I— ugh. Forget it. Stop smiling, it looks shady."

She killed her own blush as James fought back his increasing happiness. It wouldn't look right to McGonagall if they showed up like that; one flushed and the other smiling so slyly. Although, her flushed face and refusal to meet his eyes was a huge disadvantage because his control was slipping. James groaned inwardly. How in Merlin's name was he supposed to survive this year with her so close?

McGonagall looked as blank faced as ever when they reached her. Giving the two of them a small smile, she proceeded forwards immediately, talking along the way.

" I hope you know the gravity of the position you hold." She said briskly," You serve as model students. That means no tardiness, assignments on time, no getting into trouble, are you listening, Potter?"

"Of course Professor. What else would I be doing?"

"Well, you seemed to find your shoes very interesting. Anyway, as I was saying, your duties include heading the Prefects, setting up patrols, keeping track of points— that shall appear at the end of each day on this parchment I will hand over to you. "

They had taken the same route as the Gryffindor Common room, but quite a few portraits behind the fat lady, McGonagall stopped. She tapped the empty frame and immediately, a very old wizard with long curls of white and droopy eyes emerged. Her surveyed them all with a frown.

"Good Evening, Baltimore." McGonagall said politely. " The password...? Potter? Evans? What shall it be?"

"We get to pick?" Lily asked.

"Oh yes. You get to pick this and in addition, you have many advantages at your disposal which I shall inform you of shortly. Now—"

" Treacle tart." James piped up.

"Treacle tart it is." Baltimore peered at James's face. Lily merely shook her head. Food. Figures.

A hole materialized and McGonagall walked in without a hitch, the two teens following after a glance at each other. The deputy headmistress was talking again. It seemed she didn't want to waste any time." You will be required to change the password every month. Now, here are those parchments I was talking about. Don't lose them. Also, you will report directly to me and at times, to the Headmaster himself."

They were walking along a dimly lit corridor, a long one at that. It reminded James of the tunnel to the Shrieking Shack, except, this was neater. They stopped short at a wide circular door and McGonagall turned to face them. In the flickering firelight, she looked grave and stern; not something new, but it seemed a bit more serious. " I hope you know that we begin our drills from tomorrow."

They nodded.

" You two, along with Remus, Sirius, Marlene and Alice will be required to lead the whole team along with the other three top rankers. However, you will have to head the entire operation as well. As head students, you must be prepared to have others turn to you for support, help and leadership. I know it's a lot, but we teachers are still here. Do your best."

They nodded again, and McGonagall sighed, relaxing for a moment. " Good. Now, your dorms lie beyond this door. You shall share a common room as a reward for your troubles. You have permission to break curfew but, Potter, that advantage dies for you the second you step out of line. You have the authority to dock points but not award them, and if anyone dares to question your actions, they shall answer to me. Is all that clear?"

"Yes, Professor." Lily chewed her lip," But can I ask you something? When exactly is the drill? What do we do tomorrow morning, where do we go?"

" It shall all be clear in the morning, Miss Evans. Do not fret. Just remember, the great hall is the widest one in the castle. In the meantime, get used to your new positions within this week. Potter, you're still Quidditch Captain. Do you wish to step down from that? Although, I'd prefer you wouldn't."

James cast a look at Lily. He didn't want to give that up, as trying as it was. But if practise took up time, then Head duties would pile up.

" I'll cover up." Lily told him." Don't give that badge away."

Minerva hid a smile as James sighed slowly, averting his eyes from Lily to McGonagall and shook his head at her. Happy with his decision, she nodded once and brushed past the two new school leaders, still hiding her smile. " Go on then. Get some rest. No funny business, Potter."

"I'm harmless! If anything, you should be warning her Professor. She's not as innocent as she looks!"

The deputy headmistress simply shook her head at his yelp as Lily landed a stamp on his leg. She walked away briskly, the conversation from behind her echoing off the walls and becoming a jumbled mess.

The circular wooden door led to the most wonderful common room on earth. A nicely lit fireplace, with a large couch on it, so big, three people could sleep on it easily, one polished coffee table, and a large curving shelf full of books. Reference, novels, stories... Lily drifted off towards it the second her eyes landed on the shelf. James plopped down on the couch with a drawn out sigh, taking off his shoes. " This is some advantage."

"Oh I know." She sighed back, and she sounded so dreamy, James whipped around to see her hungrily going through a large book in her hand. Smiling, he got up and stretched, throwing the parchment McGonagall gave him onto the coffee table. Lily looked up as he walked past. Her eyes landed on the abandoned sheet and she sighed. " James. You're supposed to keep it safe."

"Keep what safe?"

" That thing she gave us. Its on the table."

"Oh. That." He looked a little confused as he summoned it to his hand. " I might be bad at this."

" You'd think so wouldn't you?"

He handed the paper to her silently. " Keep it?"

"Of course not!" she said, pushing it back incredulously." Its about time you learned some responsibility. "

"Lily," he sighed, leaning against the shelf in front of her, arms crossed. " we need to build a balance. I promise to repay you for this favour. You just have to help me keep track of these tiny things, I'm terrible at it."

She narrowed her eyes. He frowned. " Aw come on, don't you trust me?"

For a moment, she'd forgotten this was the new and improved James Potter. Instead if forcing it on her, he was asking nicely. " Fine." She snatched the paper away and he glowed at her. Lily averted her eyes, pretending to scrutinise the parchment. James's grin grew wider.

"You're an absolute angel." He declared, wrapping an arm around her and pressing a kiss to her head. Unfortunately for Lily, he didn't miss her wide eyes, swallow, or flush. Very unfortunate for her, because his eyes glinted with confidence and victory.

And trouble.

She mumbled back his goodnight and quickly retreated to her own room with the big book. She needed to get lost in it; only the land of words could distract her now. Her dorm wasn't too lavish or anything, just a large bed, a fancy bedside table, nice big windows and a wardrobe. Her trunk was already inside and she decided to unpack. For once, Lily found enough space inside the shelf to fit all her clothes and other stuff. The entire room was a pleasant light peach colour, with one wall a little darker, where there was a ledge fixed to keep photographs...?

Yeah, not lavish at all.

She finally changed and crawled under the soft covers, hoping to read. But her mind was too distracted. Different thoughts popped in, ruining her calm and she snapped the book shut and set it aside, snuggling into the bed.

Sleep. She told herself. It'll be fine in a few days. Just SLEEP.

Sure enough, morning found her a little cranky due to lack of rest. And what a morning it was.

The two Head students were awoken by a very rude blaring alarm from god knows where. At first, her heart was in her throat, she had jumped out of her skin. She half suspected it was a prank James or Sirius had played but then she remembered.

Drills.

Pulling on a sweater and exchanging her pyjama pants for the first pair of three fourths she could lay her hands on, Lily dashed outside with her wand, hair still in the messy side braid from last night. The common room was empty, the alarm still blaring, and it had been almost two minutes since the thing began. A split second later, James emerged, looking very annoyed but alert.

Not even pausing to say a word, the two of them rushed along the passage, bursting outside into the corridor. Baltimore gave them a glance, then closed his eyes again.

Apparently, alarms at five in the morning didn't apply to portraits.

Lily and James whipped around at the sound of their names and saw students stumbling out of the Fat lady's portrait hole, all looking pale and dazed and confused. They rushed forward and Lily did a quick count. All thirteen Gryffindors were up and out.

" What's going on?" Amanda Hoggins demanded, pulling her gown closer around herself. The rest of the team began to murmur the same questions and James, suddenly remembering he was supposed to be in charge, held up his hands for silence, wincing as the alarm blared even more intently, " It's a drill. Don't panic."

"The Great hall." Said Lily suddenly and James's eyes lit up in remembrance. "Right. Of course." He managed to speak to her over the din." You take them there. I'll go check the other houses."

The alarm grew louder and louder around them and majority of the Gryffindors had their hand clasped over their ears. Lily nodded to show she understood and James dashed off to the right. Trusting he knew where the other houses were, she motioned to the group to follow her and led them quickly towards the great hall. At some point, her friends had flanked her, all five of them looking very annoyed, well, all except Remus and Alice.

"Bloody useless." Sirius mumbled darkly." Kicking us out of bed at such an ungodly hour!"

Lily felt Remus move to respond to him, but didn't dwell on it. They burst into the Great Hall to find their Professors already waiting. All of them looked fresh and bright, except Slughorn, and Lily knew he loved his sleep a lot. This must not be very pleasant for him. They stopped uncertainly in front of Dumbledore and he smiled at them all.

"Miss Evans, where's Potter?" McGonagall frowned, looking around.

"He went to check the Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws. And Slytherins." Lily added hastily, praying that James hadn't forgotten about them. " They should be here any –"

The door to The great hall Burst open again and fifteen other students walked in, looking very tired. James followed a second later, eyes stormy, silently walking over to join Lily as Dumbledore beamed at them all.

Finally, the alarm died.

Collective groans and sighs of relief erupted from the crowd of students and some of the professors too rubbed their ears. Dumbledore bowed to them all.

" That was our very first drill." He informed happily. " I trust it was loud enough. Now, the alarms won't cease until every student of the castle is in this hall. Next time on, you need not wait for Mr Potter and Miss Evans to find you and bring you here. Instead, it becomes the duty of each one of you to rush over as soon as the alarm goes off, and also escort fellow students should they be around."

The group nodded, glancing at one another. McGonagall stepped up. " Now that that's over, you shall all return to your dorms and catch a few more hours of rest. We shall see you back here at nine. There is much to do, and you will need your rest."

Murmuring among themselves, the group trudged outside. James and Lily waited until all of them had gone, waving away their friends. Lily turned to Dumbledore. " Were we late? We took nearly 7 minutes to get here."

"And the Slytherins refused to ccooperate." James added in a low growl. " Apparently, they feel the school deserves to be attacked."

Lily cast him a surprised glance but he was sending a look at Slughorn. Dumbledore hummed. " Hmm... I see that will be a problem... Horace."

"Y-Yes , Albus?"

"Talk to them, please. And tell them that it is for their own safety."

"Of course, Albus."

"But otherwise," Dumbledore continued on a perkier note, smiling at the two of them," You did quite well."

"We didn't do anything."

"Oh but you did. Remembering your authority in times of crisis is important. I trust you have that mastered. Good job going after the other houses too, James. It shows you remain unbiased towards your own. Seven minutes is an excellent time Lily, do not worry. Well done, both of you."

Understanding the dismissal in his tone, the teens exchanged a glance and then proceeded to wish the other teachers and leave. Sighing and yawning and stretching, they walked slowly along the now empty corridor. James pulled her into a shortcut passage, and they emerged into their corridor in half the time.

He plopped down on the couch as soon as they got in, grabbing a pillow and preparing to drift off. Lily kicked his leg and told him to go inside and change first, but he merely looked at her drowsily and promptly fell asleep. Rolling her eyes, she slipped inside her own room and pulled her pyjamas back on, jumping into the warmth of her covers and immediately falling asleep.

The rest if the weeks until start of term went by in a flurry of trying drills and hard training. But by the end of their two week early arrival, Hogwarts looked ready to fight for itself.