I stare numbly at the whiteboard in-front of me, usually my entire face and body would be radiating happiness in this lesson.
It was the one subject where I felt comfortable.
It was the subject and field I was born to study, ever since I was a young child I was shown intrest.
But lately, ever since...Lola.
The one place where I felt like home, suddenly didn't even feel like home anymore.
Not even my own home felt like home anymore, I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep and on the rare occasion that I would sleep I would be awoken in a thick sweat, screaming loudly. Because all I could picture when I closed my eyes was Lola's lifeless face staring back at me.
It sickened me, how all the forms of life where suddenly just drained from her.
It sickened me, that she would never just simply come home from school and be bombared with questions like, 'How was your day?' or 'Did you get any homework?'
It sickened me, that she'd never be able to graduate.
It sickened me, that she'd never be able to achieve all her big dreams and hopes.
All because of some fucking sicko.
Some fucking sicko took all that from her. Anger fills inside of me, they should be dead, not her.
Lola should be alive, and her biggest worries should be stuff like whether there would be a surprise pop-quiz in history tomorrow morning or if the guy she likes is gonna ask her to prom.
"Mr. Minkus?" Mr. Wellington calls out.
I snap my attention back to the lesson I was supposed to be taking part in.
"Yes?"
"Are you okay? You look very pale"
I shake my head irritably, "I'm fine"
"We all know, you've been through a tough time. It's okay, if you want to take some time out"
"Just drop it!" I growl.
The rest of the lesson supassed me like a blur, luckily it was a quick and fairly painless blur.
I jump slightly when I feel a hand on my shoulder, I whip my head around and see a worried Riley Matthews stood in-front of me.
"Farkle, I know you're not okay"
I shrug her hand off my shoulder, "I doubt, you're okay either"
The brunette sighs, "I'm trying, I'm trying to make sense of this"
"There's nothing to make sense of Riley, an innocent girl was murdered"
Riley shakes her head, "I'm sure, god-" I cut her off angrily.
"Shut the fuck up!" I cry out, "God, doesn't fucking exist!"
She blinks before cowering slightly, "B-But we went to church together, we sat and prayed"
I shake my head, "And it didn't fucking help"
"Y-You just need to try again"
"If there really was a god, then why would he allow for an innocent seventeen year old girls life to be taken away?!"
"Because he has a plan..."
"His plan is fucking bullshit!" I cry out.
I close my eyes as a sharp pain in my chest overtakes me. I re-open my eyes to be greeted by my vision being painfully blurry.
My breathing becomes un-even causing my eyes to widen slightly.
"Farkle..." I hear Riley call out.
I shake my head, as my breathing becomes more dramatic.
I feel my body being grabbed roughly and pulled somewhere, where that place was I couldn't tell. My vision was completely blured all I could see was a merge of colours.
I wince as I feel my body being shoved onto a cold surface.
"Farkle, you're having a panic attack!"
I nod as I wheeze loudly, if I could I would be rolling my eyes and spiting a sarcastic comment.
"Think of happy things! Nice things! Like science! And-" Her rambling is cut short when she realises that it isn't helping.
My eyes widen massively when I feel my breath being held and something firmly pressed against my lips.
Relief fills inside of me, as my breathing becomes more even and my heart beat begins to slow down and there isn't any pounding in my ears.
I feel my lips pull away from whatever they are pressed up against.
I look around and take in my surroundings, as I was currently sat in the boys locker room, which was luckily empty and for once surprisingly clean.
Riley gives me a sad smile, her eyes shone an emotion, I couldn't quite detect.
"Uh, I once read that holding your breath stops a panic attack"
I nod slowly, "Uh, yeah...I've heard of that as well"
"Well that, and I saw it on Teen Wolf!" She squeaks out.
A small laugh escapes my lips, "Yeah, that's where I saw it too"
"So you'll understand, that when I kissed you, you held your breath"
I nod, "I know, don't worry. I'm not reading into the kiss, I know it meant nothing"
Riley's facial expression changes ever-so slightly before a smile works it's way onto her face.
"S-So are you okay?" She asks me cautiously.
I nod, "I am, thank you"
"I'm glad, you're okay Farkle"
Her kindness causes a pang of guilt to hit my chest.
"I-I'm sorry Riley, I really shouldn't of been such an asshole towards you"
The brunette shrugs, "You're just having a hard time coping, it's okay"
I shake my head, "Even so, I shouldn't of been so rude towards something you believe in"
"It's okay really" She says softly, as she reaches over and puts a hand on my shoulder.
"How are you coping really?" I ask, as I lean against bench perched behind me.
"S-She was my friend, and practically my big brothers soulmate, I don't know how I'm supposed to cope. Or what I'm supposed to feel"
"Well, how do you feel?"
Riley bites the inside of her cheek, as tears well up inside of her eyes.
"I feel pretty pissed off!" She snaps, "I feel so angry, she was supposed to be here! I mean it's my birthday next week...and she, she was supposed to be here!"
I sigh, "She's still here, just because she's gone. It, it doesn't mean she isn't here"
The brunette smiles sadly, "I know, I just...I wish I could just see her roll her eyes whenever Josh would make a flirty comment, and I just wish I could be sat in my room tonight waiting for her to join me, so we can binge watch 'Gossip Girl' and talk about our feelings"
I reach forward and grab her hand, "It's going to be okay..."
Riley shrugs as tears roll down her cheeks, "I-I really don't know, if it will be"
Just a few questions, if you wouldn't mind answering for me please.
Who is your favourite character?
What would you like to see happen next?
Is there any charecters you are shipping together in this story? (For example, Riley/Farkle, Riley/Lucas, Missy/Josh, Josh/Maya, Maya/Lucas)