The Ordinary Prince, Chapter 3
***
Luckily the next Thursday was a fine day and Rodney arrived in the first clearing of the forest to find the nice young man waiting for him. Together they went through the portal to Rodney's cave, where Rodney showed his lab and his latest project to the Man-of-all-work. They created a few explosions, made some thick green smoke and then competed against each other to see who could make the best paper aeroplane.
As Rodney was feeding the last few crumbs of cake to MAFS, it suddenly occurred to him that this had been one of the nicest days he had ever had.
The Man-of-all-work had joined in with the picnic, bringing a whole chocolate cake and even a pair of dishes to eat it from. He had laughed at Rodney's jokes, been amused when Rodney had complained about the wet path, the slippery cobbles and the tree roots, and he had even caught Rodney's hand one time when Rodney's thin boots had caused him to slip. The nice young man had even agreed that it had been the boots that made him slip and that he, the Man-of-all-work hadn't slipped because his boots were better.
Even MAFS had seemed to like him and MAFS didn't just go to anyone calling to him with a walnut in his hand! The nice young man was very pleasant to look at, too. He had hair that evidently hadn't seen a hairbrush in days, a stained jacket that had a rip in it from when he had proved he could climb a certain tree and his ears were pointy. When he laughed his face lifted and he seemed carefree and casual and nothing like all those stuffy Princes and Princesses that Rodney had been forced to socialise with before.
The Man-of-all-work was also good at Math and that went a long way in Rodney's book. He had set the nice young man some equations to do while he ran the heat test on the light bulbs and the Man-of-all-work grinned and did them quickly. They were evenly matched at chess, even though they had to play it with chalk and acorns, and they set each other some number problems to do on their own. Rodney had never met anyone who could do Math nearly as well as himself and none of the Royals he had ever met had even come close!
It was confirmed in Rodney's mind now, that Ordinary people like himself and the nice young man were far, far better than anything or anyone born in a palace.
Right now the young man was leaning back on a tree trunk, stringing acorns together and whistling happily.
"There!" he announced suddenly, dropping the acorn necklace on Rodney's lap.
"Er… thank you," Rodney replied in an uncertain tone.
"Look after it!"
"Are you sure it's clean?"
"Yeah!" the Man-of-all-work sniggered. "You must keep it forever."
"I really don't think it will last that long."
"So, Cook's Assistant, what is your name?" the nice young man asked suddenly.
"Rodney."
"Nice name. It suits you. Now why can't all parents give sensible names to their children?"
"What, like 'Chaya' you mean?"
"Exactly!" The Man-of-all-work sat up. "Or Algernon!"
Rodney giggled. "That's just so pompous! You could never imagine a Prince called Rodney now, could you?"
"I don't see why not. It's a perfectly sensible name. So, Prince Rodney…" The nice young man stood and helped a laughing Rodney to his feet. Then he bowed. "Prince Rodney."
"And what should I call you?"
"John." John told him.
"I am delighted to make your acquaintance, Prince John," Rodney said with an elegant, sweeping bow.
"Hey! You did that just like a real prince!" John laughed, and then he laughed even more when Rodney suddenly stood up straight and slipped, falling very inelegantly on his bottom. "Ok, that was less princely!"
"Oh shut up and help me up!"
"Yes, Your Royal Highness!"
"Oh please!" Rodney rolled his eyes, but secretly he was pleased. He didn't have a problem with making the nice young man called John laugh. It made his hazel eyes light up and glitter.
"The sun's going down," John pointed out regretfully. "We really should make our way back home. May I come and picnic again with you next time?"
"Of course! I'll need to check your Math problem."
"Of course you do!" John smirked. "And I'll check yours."
"Oh please! Mine will be correct. I don't know if I already told you, but I'm a genius."
"You may have mentioned it," John laughed as he picked up the picnic basket and led the way back to the portal.
When they got back to the castle in Atlantis, John stopped Rodney from entering into the staff quarters with a hand on his arm.
"Rodney, today has been one of the best days of my life."
"It was fun wasn't it?" Rodney agreed.
For a moment they just looked into each other's eyes, then John smiled broadly.
"Good night, Cook's Assistant."
"Good night, Man-of-all-work."
***
After that it became a ritual. Every second Thursday, the two of them would meet up by the Stargate and then travel through to the cave where they would play chess, do Math, play with Rodney's equipment and picnic.
John told Rodney of his longing to fly, so Rodney started drawing up plans for a heavier-than-air-flying-machine, which John said he would name when it was finished. John brought any materials that they would need as he said he had plenty of friends in the palace who would give him tools and off-cuts. Rodney didn't really care where the stuff came from, he just enjoyed making John happy and working together like this made John laugh and smile.
John tried to get Rodney interested in sword fighting and archery, but Rodney didn't really want to be good at that kind of thing. However, he did make a gun, like the one that he had made for Ronon, and John had huge amounts of fun shooting things. Rodney just made him promise not to shoot any animals and John agreed. Every now and again John would get Rodney to have a go and he'd put his arm around his friend to help him with stance and aim. Rodney didn't mind that so much.
In fact they hardly noticed the winter fly past. Christmas was fun as they spent the day in the cave with a big open fire and Rodney gave John a book of problems and a light bulb, while John gave Rodney a rather nice chess set. MAFS got a stack of walnuts for when he came out of hibernation and Rodney left them by his warm bed in the eaves of the castle.
Finally spring came around and the buds began to appear, and one Thursday Rodney was late arriving.
"Oh, it's all that stupid Princess Chaya's fault."
"Oh? Why?"
"It was her birthday yesterday and so we had that big party, but it's no party for us in the kitchen! I had to scrub fifteen pots this morning! Fifteen!"
"It's busy in the hall, too" John agreed and bit into pie.
"I wish the King would just marry her or something, then Queen Mora would go away and all those damned courtiers and servants and nobles would go away too! It's all just endless work for the kitchen staff and I am always so tired at night! If I didn't have our Thursdays to look forward to, I don't think I could survive!"
"Perhaps the King doesn't want to marry Princess Chaya?" John suggested.
"I saw her once. She's very pretty," Rodney commented, biting into his own pie. "Haven't you seen her?"
"Once or twice."
"What's she like?"
"Like a Princess."
The Ordinary Prince threw a handful of grass at him. "That's a stupid answer."
"No, it isn't," John retorted. "When you've seen as many Princesses as I have, you'll know what I mean!"
The Ordinary Prince beamed and then asked. "Will you tell me about Princesses, John?"
"OK, well, first of all, they are all beautiful." John leaned back against a tree trunk and ticked the points off on his fingers. "Then secondly, thirdly and fourthly, they all have long golden hair that does that ringlet thing, bright blue eyes and lovely complexions."
"I have blue eyes," Rodney objected.
"Yes, but yours are really blue and really bright with intelligence. You wouldn't catch a Princess being intelligent!"
"God forbid!" Rodney threw in.
"Quite! Fifthly and sixthly, they are graceful and accomplished. Seventhly, they all have ridiculous names like Persephone and Sapphire and Chaya. And lastly, they are all excessively proper and extremely dull and… I've run out of fingers!"
"You can use mine!"
"No, it's ok, I just prefer the sort who are pretend Princes or Princesses like my dear friend Prince Rodney."
"The make-believe ones are definitely infinitely superior! I just wish that Queen Mora would go away!"
"Yeah, me too!" John agreed.
***
Two weeks later, something strange happened.
They met up as usual by the portal and went through to the cave. In the whole time they had been going there, they had never met anyone else there, but this time there was a man with curly black hair standing outside and looking as though he might go in.
"Hey! What the hell do you…?" Rodney shouted out angrily, but he was astonished when the man turned around and cried out.
"Bloody Hell!"
"Carson? " Rodney said in shock and John closed up, ready to back him up.
Carson, of course, had to ruin everything by bowing low. "Your Highness!"
"What?" Asked John.
"Where the bloody hell have you been all this time?" Carson demanded.
"What?" John asked again. "Why did you call him…?"
"Carson… please go away," Rodney begged in distress.
"You can bloody well come back home with me, Your Highness," Carson scolded. "Your Royal Mama has been tearing her hair out with worry."
"Carson, please?"
"What the hell is going on?" John asked.
"Look at ye!" Carson was unstoppable now. "If the King knew what his son was doing… and your hands… and what in God's name are ye wearin' 'cos it looks like the cat dragged ye in!"
"Right! Stop right there!" John commanded. "You, shut up!" He pointed at Rodney, "And you, explain. Who is Rodney?"
"Rodney?" Carson asked. "That's my pupil, Prince Meredith of Canadia. He's been missing for six months!"
John whirled around at glared at Rodney, who shrugged and tried to look apologetic. Unfortunately, it just made him look stubborn, with his chin jutting out and mouth closed tightly.
"So you were a real Prince all this time?" John accused.
"It's not my fault!" Rodney defended himself. "I can't help it!"
"You little fibber! For two pins I could… I could spank you!"
Rodney saw John's eyes soften as he said this, and he giggled in relief. "You can't spank a Royal Highness."
"Oh, can't I?" John argued and it looked as though he might do it there and then.
"You wouldn't dare!"
"I might just… but perhaps not with your friend here watching!"
"Thank God for that!" Carson chuckled. "Ye are coming home though now, aren't you, Sir?"
"Not… not yet… I can't yet, Carson," Rodney pleaded. "You won't… tell, will you?"
Carson considered this, then he said. "Look, sooner or later you're going to have to come home. Your Royal Parents miss you, you know."
"No they don't. They wanted to lock me in a tower and make Princes fight the Wraith to trick them into marrying me! I'm not going back to that!"
"What?" John asked.
"Long story, I'll tell it to you when Carson's left me alone."
"Teyla and Ronon have never stopped looking for you," Carson added.
"Carson, please, don't tell anyone yet. I promise I'll stay in touch with you, but…"
"Your secret's safe with me, Your Highness."
"Thank you." Rodney embraced his tutor and then managed to persuade him to go away.
When they were alone again, John turned to Rodney and took him by the shoulders.
"You're a Prince!"
"It doesn't make any difference does it?" Rodney asked anxiously. "I mean, I can't help it."
"It doesn't make any difference to me, but what about you? I mean, you're a Royal Highness and I'm… I'm just a Man-of-all-work."
"So? Who cares? I'd like you just as much if you turned out to be a… a… coalheaver!"
"Thanks," John drawled. "I'll remember that when I'm a coalheaver."
"Oh, don't be silly."
"So you like me then?"
"Of course I like you," Rodney snorted. "You really think I'd spend my only free afternoon with you every time if I didn't?"
"No," John grinned. "So?"
"So, what?"
"So, how did Prince Meredith become Rodney the Cook's Assistant?"
It took quite a long time to tell the story, and even longer to get John to calm down and promise not to invade Canadia and hunt down the King and Queen to torture them. Apart from anything else, Rodney told John how big Ronon was, remembering to include a description of how much the man liked to beat people up and fire guns at them.
In the end, they stayed far too long and had to run all the way to the castle to get there before they locked the gates. They barely had time to say good night before Rodney was whisked off to the kitchen to start working on the evening meal.
An event like that afternoon's was bound to be unsettling and Rodney couldn't help pondering and worrying about what would happen. What if Carson told? What if Teyla and Ronon were to appear at the gates and start a war or something? Would they start looking into hiring Wraith again?
There seemed to be more washing up than ever that night and Rodney was so perturbed that he broke three plates and was scolded by the Fourth Assistant Senior Cook whose temper was never very good.
Unfortunately Rodney was so upset that he managed to let a soup plate slip right out of his hands and land loudly on the floor, breaking into eighteen quite small pieces, and one of those flew up and caught the Fourth Assistant Cook on the nose.
The Assistant Cook's temper was never very good and he had had more than one argument with the Fourteenth Assistant Cook's Assistant about the best way to roast or broil, plus he had a bad tooth that had been keeping him awake for the last three nights, let alone the extra work that was caused for everyone by the delegation from Proculus… well, anyway, the Ordinary Prince found himself dismissed.
Of course, the Fourth Assistant Senior Cook didn't put it as elegantly as that.
"You're fired!" He yelled. "Take a week's wages and get out of my kitchen!"
"Fine!" Rodney lifted his chin defiantly. "Fine! I'll go! I don't care!"
But of course, he did care really. He sat down on the bottom step of the staircase that led up to the attic and sighed.
"Oh, there you are!" A voice startled Rodney and he looked up to see John grinning at him.
"I've been fired!" Rodney managed not to sob.
"What?"
"Dismissed! I broke four plates and the Fourth Assistant Senior Cook fired me!"
"Oh… Good."
"How can you say that?" Rodney cried out angrily. "It was my job and I was earning money and everything!"
"Dearest Rodney, I only said 'good' because I think it's awful that you have to work so hard and all for so few pfennigs!"
"But where am I to get another job? Ordinary people work – that's what Radek said!"
"I can sort that out – you see…"
But they were interrupted by a very gorgeous person indeed coming through the door between the fine halls and the kitchens.
"Oh crap!" John sighed as the man stepped forward into the light.
Chapter Four