DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN EITHER ANIME/MANGA.

Yukihira Soma will not be in this story. If you have a problem with that, don't read it at all.

Thanks

Chapter 1

Naruto always liked to think he could adapt to any nonsense situation, well considering who he was. So with all his stupidity and unbelievable luck, the blonde survived going through what he thought was the impossible. Not everyone can say they travelled dimensions and exclaim their victory.

But imagine his surprise when he realised he was roughly a year or two younger than his original age and that he had landed into a city that made Konoha look like an infant.

Standing up, he remembered the fucker that killed all his friends. Madara wasn't in the area? That was total bull. He was most likely hiding, the coward. The Jinchuuriki couldn't help but wonder what type of reaction the crazed Uchiha got from travelling through portals.

"Kurama? Kurama, you there?" asked Naruto. Boy, was he grateful, If not for the Bijuu, he would have not survived his abrupt trip.

"Yeah. Um...Naruto?"

'What?' asked the ninja

"We have a guest, it's on your shoulder" said Kurama.

Right there, on his shoulder, was Black Zetsu. He was weeping, murmuring nonsense like 'sorry Ka-san' and 'forgive me'.

Cue Sweatdrop

Weird.

'Do we kill it?' Naruto was pretty sure that this fuck was pretty much the villain. The silent partner in all the shit that went down.

"Not sure. This fucker can infiltrate any thing. Worthwhile to keep him." answered Kurama. 'Pretty sure he's talking about Kaguya. Crazy bitch.'

While Zetsu was sobbing over his mother and whatnot. It was starting to piss Naruto off.

He was dangerously close to simply kill him but he didn't want to separate himself from his only other link to the Elemental Nations besides Kurama. So he trapped the beady eyed fucker in a glass jar.

What?

Anyway, he was in a new world. Aged 13. No money...Clothes. Or knowledge.

For all he knew, he'd have to go to school... Like that was going to happen.

2 YEAR TIME SKIP

After waking up to this new world. He had placed a genjutsu to hide himself and gather information.

It wasn't really hard at all. Some mindless thugs tried to mug him when they came upon him in the alley.

Using the gift from Sasuke, the Rinne-Sharingan. He used the Preta Path to absorb their souls for basic information. Thanks to those bastards, he found out he was in a place called New York. Naruto found out that there was more than one continent. Fuck, they even spoke in different languages. The humans here were unbelievably weak. It would be like a Kage fighting a fresh academy student.

They had technology that was leaps and bounds ahead of the Elemental Nations. Weapons of mass destruction, equivalent to his Rasenshuriken and Almighty Push.

Breaking into a library at night, He produced an army of clones. What he realised was that their was hardly any drain to his reserves...thank you Sasuke.

There was everything in these books all kind of information ranging from history to geography and information on the government. It took him roughly a week to sort out his information intake and make sense of what he perceived from these books.

It was a haven of knowledge. Sakura would have loved this place.

There were things like banks that contained your money.

He robbed a bank. Naruto wasn't proud of it. He transformed into a fly, and robbed a bank. All he took was a wad of bills.

First thing he bought were clothes. He bought a suit. A straight black blazer, slacks, a white dress shirt, dress shoes and an orange tie. He also carried a gun holster he took from some guy in the NYPD or something to hold the glass bottle.

The clothes made him look like a rich spoiled child.

A little while after that he arrived at a five star restaurant. Considering the amount of money he had, he had planned to go their to treat himself to high quality food. After all, In the war, he had no time to savour professional culinary.

That was when he met the old bastard, Joichiro.

Joichiro had long, dark hair which was swept back, save for a single group of bangs that hanged over his face down to his chin. Even when cooking, all of his hair was tied back except for that one strand. His eyes were sharper and more serious than any civilian he had met. The man had a slight beard on his chin. He wore a professional white chef's uniform.

The man cooked the best food he'd ever tasted. His ramen, dare he say it, was better than Ichiraku Ramen.

Long story short, the blond decided he'd wanted to cook, stealing wasn't something he wanted to get used to, besides the texture, the aroma, the spices. It was so amazing. It was baffling to find out that the man was also Japanese. He was hooked.

Naruto could cook. Not all that fancy but he could learn. It was then that he wanted to work for the old bastard and learn from him.

Since then, Naruto had hacked the government and created his own records. Learning to hack and place records seemed fruitful. He had learned everything he could learn from Joichiro and worked at his diner for 2 years. Naruto knew it was wrong but he used a watered down version of the Soul Absorption Jutsu on Joichiro, it focused and pinpointed skills that would be beneficial. Sure, it was underhanded. But who gives two shits about honour when you are raised as a Shinobi.

Now here he was. Joichiro had insisted he go to this 'academy'. The man thought he went to school while working in the Yukihira Diner. Thanks to the power of shadow clones, he was able to skip and take the necessary exams to pass. He was wearing his most standard clothes. He wore a long trench coat, red with black flames coating it's edges, underneath was a burnt orange version of the Yukihira Diner shirt. He had black slack and formal dress shoes.

"Paying to learn how to cook is stupid" murmured Naruto to Joichiro on the other end of the phone line. It was unbelievable, why pay when you could learn first hand by feeding paying customers. A culinary school would be like...

In his head

"Okay, today I'll teach you a dish that you can make nice and easy." Said the old man trembling with a bowl in his hand

"Hai, Sensei!" chorused the students

Reality

"Gaaaaahh!"

He was bought back into reality by a students scream. 'the fuck?'

"I failed the advancement exam!" wailed the student. Another, beside him, hung his head low muttering things like 'I'm done for. My life is over.'

"I BEG YOU!"

Turning around. There was a old man who seemed to be begging to some type of yakuza. Naruto had learnt that their was crime syndicates. The biggest organisation In Japan called themselves the Yakuza, the Japanese mafia.

"I'll donate ten million or even twenty million! Just take back my son's expulsion!" begged the old man banging his head on the yakuza's leg.

"What's going on?"/ "What's going on?" thought the blond and Bijuu. Looking up they caught sight of the school.

Tōtsuki Culinary Academy

"Oh, I didn't tell you? That's Japan's top culinary school, with a graduation rate of less than 10%. It's a super elite institution." Said Joichiro. The place was huge, buildings scattered everywhere, putting skyscrapers to shame.

Okay.

"Listen Ruto, if you can't survive that academy until graduation, you can kiss you hopes of surpassing me goodbye as a pipe dream."

"Just watch me. I'll drag your name through the ground once I'm done here." Said Naruto ending the call.

Transfer Exam

Naruto had arrived late to the place. The hall was packed with a lot of applicants most looked spoiled, not like Naruto gave a crap, all he wanted was to pass time, if it was going to be in cooking then so be it, although he had developed some kind of passion for it. For now he was going to concentrate on becoming a better cook. He arrived when the examiner was giving the students a chance to withdraw in under a minute.

Again, what the fuck.

In a few seconds all applicants turned and ran. He stood there baffled. Grabbing the arm of an applicant he questioned him.

"Why are you all running?!"

"Y-you don't know who she is?!"

"Nope. No clue"

"Nakiri Erina has the finest palate known to mankind! The God Tongue..." The boy continued but Naruto was busy trying to come to terms to the levels of arrogance that this 'Erina' held.

"...Her evaluations spreads far and wide in the industry! Your career could be ruined." Finished the boy as he pushed Naruto.

Pussies. It was Cathedral full of Cunts.

Facing her assistant, " I knew most of them were hopeless incompetents. All fail." Said Erina.

"Ano.. I'm still left."

Turning around surprised that someone would really challenge her. Eh, he wouldn't even be able to satisfy her palate.

"Okay, the main ingredients is egg." Said the yellow/orange haired girl.

Changing his whole demeanour, he tied an orange headband that bore the leaf insignia, it's ends floating in the air by wind generated from his aura.

"Hai."

Kitchen

The kitchen had every thing you could possibly ask for. Grabbing eggs rich in yolk to compliment his roast beef. Naruto diced the onions fluidly, his arm muscle bulging while dicing away. Needing to tender the beef . He grabbed honey from a cabinet.

While this was going on. Both Erina and Hisako were anxious to see what he'd made.

Egg sizzling in the pan, he grabbed a few spices that would go amazingly well with his omelette.

Moving to the beef. Adding the honey to help speed up its process.

"How long is this going to take?" asked Erina impatiently.

" Don't worry you pretty head over it, you..." Naruto said trailing off, wanting to get a rise of her he finished it with, "..bitchiness"

"Tch!" She growled and tapped her foot to show she was angered.

Finishing up by adding the roast beef cut up into to omelette. He placed the dish in front of her.

Okay, now she was pissed. First he insults her, then makes her an omelette. It was so low levelled and uncreative that it was more than insulting.

"Hisako, inform the board that everyone failed" Said the noble girl. Whipping her hair she walked out with her entourage.

Naruto's eyes darkened, flickering from crimson to blue. He calmed down, as he put his hands up for dramatic effect.

'Fuck this school. Filled with nothing but shitheads and dicks. Didn't even taste my food. What a bitch. Not like I expect anything else from a rich school like this"

"Oi. Naruto. Someone's here. Leave it for them. Oh and stop talking to me. I was sleeping. I was dreaming that I was in Konoha and they were worshipping me and..." as Kurama trailed off, the blonde decided to leave and go home. The diner was closed until Baka Red aka Joichiro came back from his trip. Maybe he would open his own stand. He sure as hell had the funds.

Once he left, a man walked out to the kitchen. He'd been there since the beginning of the exam.

Walking to the plate. He examined the contents. Slicing the egg, he was surprised to see there was roast beef inside. The old man had realised this as an Italian cuisine. Cooked to perfection, the flavour simulating the feel of walking in a vivid and lively carnival parade. The dish made him feel young. In a sudden burst of moment his kimono was shredded showing off his surprisingly chiselled chest. Grabbing the application forms. He read,

"Naruto Uzumaki.."

Laughing boisterously, he clenched the papers in his hand,

Who are you?

END