Author's Notes:

This chapter borrows slightly from 3x10 but its still AU. Words in italics represent Lauren's internal thoughts.

Be prepared for some angst in this and the next few chapters. I hope that you will stick through it to see how things develop and progress for Lauren and Bo. I promise that there will be happier times ahead, just not right at this moment.

Thanks again to my Beta, Neytiri's Heart, for her advice and ideas.

Chapter 3 - "Brutal Honesty"

Light Fae Compound – Lab (early afternoon)

After her meeting with Hale, Lauren called Dr. Hernandez and explained that due to an unexpected situation, her schedule 'opened up' and she was willing to come to Brazil and assist in any way she could, however it was not guaranteed until she received authorization from Ash Santiago and the Elders. To say that Dr. Hernandez was elated was putting it mildly.

Mila, as Dr. Hernandez insisted she be called, was going to meet with her Ash immediately to ensure that the official request for Lauren's assistance be made to Ash Santiago. If this was going to occur, there could not be any political hiccups and Fae politics needed to be adhered to. Mila also stated that she would initiate all arrangements for her accommodations and any equipment that she would need in case approval was granted. She did not want to waste any time getting this endeavour started. After numerous thank you's and obrigado from Mila, the doctors said their goodbyes and assured one other that they would keep each other updated as things progressed.

Lauren's thoughts were reeling and she had to keep busy in order to keep her thoughts organized and her emotions from surfacing. She would stuff them all down. She had to. A couple hours and finalizing of paperwork later, Lauren decided that it would be the best use of her time to leave work and start her own preparations in case she got the green light. So Lauren did something that she had never done before in her 6 years with the Fae - she left work at 3 P.M. It was so unusual that her staff thought she was ill as she never, ever left work early.

Lauren's condo

Once at her place, Lauren quickly packed minimum clothing, essential toiletries, her laptop and her Congo research. Her time in the Army taught her to pack lightly when on the move. Only take what was necessary as excess equipment meant excess weight which wasn't smart when one needed to be mobile. If she needed anything, she would get it there when she was on the ground.

The next thing on her 'to do' list was to get her condo organized in case she was going to leave it vacant for an extended period of time. Granted, her place was already very organized and tidy with nothing out of place; Lauren just wanted to ensure that certain items were properly secured such as the chemicals in her lab. The blonde's 'clean freak' persona came out in full force as she ensured that her condo was put into tip top condition for her possible absence - she made sure that her bed sheets were changed; the laundry done and put away; that every flat surface was dusted; the floor swept; and that the dishes were washed.

It was 6:45 P.M. when Lauren finished obsessing. With nothing left to do, she started growing restless and decided that she needed a tall glass of white wine to calm her nerves – she didn't want to give into her emotions and she needed to stop clock watching. Settling into the couch, she looked around her condo as she absentmindedly caressed the stem of her wine glass. The thought that she could be in Brazil tonight or tomorrow and not be in these surroundings was startling. Aside from the odd trip away to treat Light Fae in remote areas, she had never been away from the compound or her condo for more than a week at a time. If she went to Brazil, it would be her first time since she started with the Fae that she would be a significant distance away and for an extended period of time. The realization of this fact was scary yet exhilarating.

Not wanting to get her hopes up, Lauren tried thinking of anything else to deflect her emotions and anxiety. Normally, reciting the Periodic Table calmed her but in this instance, it wasn't working. Instead, Lauren swirled her wine and started to think about the health benefits of consuming it. As the blonde observed its color she started processing: "Wine is a mild natural tranquilizer which can reduce anxiety and tension hence the reason for a glass of wine in her hands. However, red wine may prevent coronary disease and some forms of cancer. The chemical component, Catechins, is believed to function as an anti-oxidant, preventing free-radical molecules from doing cellular damage. Furthermore, the compounds Resveratrol and Quercetin, which are found in the grapes used to make red wine, have shown to boost the immune system and block cancer formation."

Lauren sighed and stopped her wine and health introspection as the thought that crossed her mind was that Bo would be turned on by all her geek-speak; and the thought of Bo was too much for her at the moment. It was hard to believe that just 12 hours earlier, everything changed and her life turned upside down; maybe if she knew then what she knew now, she would've called in sick.

Light Fae Compound – Lab (flashback to 6:40 A.M. – earlier that day)

Lauren normally arrived at the lab between 6:30 A.M. and 7 A.M. in order to get caught up on work or to get a head start on the day. With most of the compound staff arriving at 8 A.M. she was able to work in peace and quiet with no interruptions which was the way she liked it.

Unfortunately, unbeknownst to her, this morning was going to be full of interruptions. At the moment, the blonde was in her office, wrapping up a phone call with Dr. Mila Hernandez, the Chief Medical Doctor for the Light Fae clan in Brazil.

"I would be more than happy to make my research notes from the Congo available to you but I need authorization from Ash Santiago before I can forward them." Lauren explained.

"Of course." Dr. Hernandez hesitated before continuing, hopefulness tinged in her voice. "Would there be any possibility of you being able to visit and provide your insight and experience in person?"

Lauren was caught off guard. "I'm truly flattered that you would request my assistance… unfortunately my schedule is completely busy for the next few months. If things weren't so hectic, I would make the request of my Ash." The blonde felt guilty that she wasn't being more forthcoming but she needed to focus on her relationship with Bo. Things were so shaky between them and now that the Dawning was over, they would have time to concentrate on them; she couldn't do that if she wasn't here. Lauren knew that Dr. Hernandez had a huge scientific facility and state of the art equipment at her disposal that would more than handle this epidemic, however she would do everything possible to help her from here; whether it would be in the form of research; reviewing her notes; or providing consultation.

"I understand completely. I'm sure you can't blame me for trying." She gave a sad chuckle. "Any information or assistance you could provide would be greatly appreciated. And if your circumstances change, please consider visiting – we would be honoured to have you share your knowledge, experience and insight with us while we try to figure out this epidemic."

"I'm the one honored that you would even consider my help. I will be sure to let you know if anything changes. Until then, I will do my best to get approval so that you can have access to my research notes." Lauren replied with a genuine modesty.

After ending that call, Lauren immediately dialled the Ash's assistant's number. Surok was the only other Fae that would be in at this time besides Lauren and the compound security; they both used these early off-hours to get caught up on work. The doctor wanted to meet with Hale soonest so that she could convince him that Dr. Hernandez needed her notes. The epidemic there seemed to be similar to what she treated in the Congo and with the high number of deaths incurred, her records could make a difference.

The phone only rang once before the Ash's assistant answered:

"Good morning, Surok"
"I am well thank you. And you?"
"Yes, I would like to schedule an appointment with the Ash; this morning preferably."
"11:15 A.M. is the only opening? I'll take it! Thank you."

Now that an appointment was made with Hale, Lauren went to her filing cabinet to look for her research notes from the Congo. She really wanted to get this to Dr. Hernandez as soon as possible. In her concern for the situation in Brazil and being focused on looking for her files, she didn't see or hear Tamsin approach her office and knock on the door, effectively, making her jump.

"You startled me. What are you doing here at this time?" Lauren looked up at the wall clock in her office and noted that it was 7 A.M.

Tamsin replied in her usual no-nonsense, sarcastic tone, "The early bird gets the worm and all that. I've come to pick up that autopsy report."

"Ah, yes. Just a second." Lauren fingered through some files in her In/Out Box and quickly scanned over one before handing it to the blonde Fae. "Here you go Detective."

The Dark Fae took the file and with a grin, said. "You can call me Tamsin you know. I don't bite… much."

Lauren was a bit surprised by the Detective; she was normally moody and didn't engage in small talk. Not knowing what she was up to, the blonde chose to take the safe route. "I prefer to keep things professional when I'm at work."

The Detective didn't drop the subject. "You don't like me much do you Doctor?" Tamsin emphasized the word 'doctor'. "You know, you can tell me the truth. I won't take offense. In fact, I rather prefer if people and Fae were more honest."

If the Dark Fae wanted honesty, Lauren would be happy to give it to her. She was tired of the Detective constantly badgering Bo; her borderline harassment of herself at work and at her condo; and her incessant sarcasm that she used as a weapon to cut people down.

"If you insist Detective." Lauren made sure to enunciate the word. "I don't particularly care for those who abuse their position of authority to manipulate people and situations. Or those who completely disregard evidence and ignore all the facts and information presented, despite their insistence that they seek justice. When in reality, their only goal is to arrest my girlfriend for murders that she did not commit because the Morrigan wishes it. So, no, I don't particularly like you or what you stand for because you are dishonorable… No offense." Lauren didn't hold back and it felt good.

Tamsin was surprised by the Doctor's verbal assault on her honor and that she was being called out on disregarding facts because of the Morrigan's orders to arrest Bo at any cost. Despite the truth in her words, Tamsin wouldn't give the blonde the satisfaction of knowing that she hit a nerve. Instead the Dark Fae smirked which made the doctor a little concerned but she didn't let it show.

"None taken. Doesn't that feel better? Being brutally honest is freeing isn't it? It's like a weight has been lifted." Tamsin chose this moment to hit the good doctor where it hurt the most. "In fact, I'd like to be honest as well, if you don't mind. I've been carrying around something that I'd like to get off my chest."

Lauren was hesitant but she couldn't really stop Tamsin from saying what she wanted. "Sure."

"Did Bo tell you about the trial in Brazenwood?" Tamsin knew that taking this path would take the wind out of Lauren's sails. She knew that it was cruel but she needed to throw the doctor off, in the hopes that she would stop focusing on the Morrigan's intentions of wanting Bo captured.

The doctor nodded. "Yes, she had to go there to rescue a Squonk and you went with her to help, which she appreciated."

The Detective grinned again but this time it seemed devious. "I was glad to assist but I'm sure that's not all she appreciated."

Lauren knew that Tamsin loved pushing buttons and that she was walking straight into her trap but it couldn't be helped. "What do you mean by that?"

The Detective was almost bragging now. "Didn't she tell you that once the trial was over that we shared a moment and kissed?"

Lauren was stunned. She couldn't believe what she just heard. "What?" She was so shocked that the words came out in an almost whisper.

Tamsin continued her casual confession. "Oh don't worry, she wasn't hurt or anything. Bo didn't take any chi from me. She is a damn good kisser though. After that kiss, I can see the fascination with Succubi. You are quite lucky Doc." Tamsin paused and smirked for dramatic effect. "Oh and the celebratory champagne at your place was de-lish! I'm sorry that you weren't there as we toasted to your achievement."

Lauren lost it. She was livid at the gall of this Dark Fae standing in front of her. She was hurt that what Tamsin said was possibly true; that Bo was kissing Tamsin instead of being with her at her Award ceremony; and that they were at her place afterwards drinking the champagne that was meant for her and Bo. Her blood boiled and her eyes saw red. Before she knew it, her hand connected with the Detective's face; the resounding slap sounding a lot louder than it should because of the lack of ambient noise in the lab. "Get out!" she hissed.

If Tamsin was surprised by the doctor's reaction, she didn't let it show. Instead, she had that infuriating smirk on her face as she recovered; her face still stinging from the slap. She knew that she deserved it and a part of her was glad and impressed that the human acted on her anger. "I guess not everyone likes brutal honesty." she quipped as she sauntered out of Lauren's office.

Lauren was stunned. Her thoughts and emotions were tumultuous; not knowing what to believe and how to process what the Detective just told her. "Tamsin kissed Bo. Bo kissed Tamsin." Her body automatically fell into her chair.

Lauren's thoughts were conflicted. The scientific side of her tried to reason out all the possibilities but doubt got in the way each time:

"Tamsin had to be lying!"
"But why would she lie? She has nothing to gain from telling me this."

"And if she doesn't like Bo and is still trying to pin the murders on her, how does hurting our relationship affect all these cases of dead Fae? It doesn't…. that just doesn't make any sense."

"Besides, Bo would only kiss Tamsin if she had to heal."
"But Tamsin said that she wasn't injured; and Bo seemed fine the next day; she never mentioned being hurt to me."

"OK, so if Bo wasn't hurt, why would she kiss Tamsin? They don't even like each other."
"But they had kissed before with the whole Fae adolescent parasite incident; and they did seem chummier after Brazenwood."

"Bo would never be unfaithful to me. She loves me."
"But you saw how she looked at Dyson after the Temple?"

"The Kitsune said that Dyson got his love back and that Bo knew. Yet Bo hasn't said anything and there was no doubting the intensity of the look between them after the Temple."

"Something happened between them inside the Temple and Bo never said what it was. What else has she not told me?"

Lauren faltered. She couldn't think of any other arguments to explain this away. Logically, the only thing the Detective gained from telling her this was to hurt her; but that was intrinsic; there was no tangible or physical benefit. And Dark Fae do not care about a human being's feelings - they couldn't care less. So, the only plausible reason was that it had to be the truth.

"Bo and Tamsin kissed. And it wasn't for healing. Bo took the one intimate, personal thing that was for them alone and shared it with another!"

Lauren's internal thought process stopped. Her heart couldn't take it anymore; her emotions and doubt were overpowering and unbearable. She couldn't think; all she could do was feel and it suffused her to the point that she felt like she was suffocating. She compromised so much to make their relationship work but she was not going to compromise on this. She had had enough of constantly giving and giving and not even considered a priority - it was one thing if this treatment was coming from other Fae because they looked down upon humans but to be treated this way by Bo, her girlfriend, was the final straw.

Lauren had to lash out; all her emotions were going to erupt and she couldn't contain them any longer. She stood up quickly; the abrupt movement pushing her chair backwards into the wall. Anger, frustration and anguish coursed through her and with one swoop of her hand, she cleared a swath off of her desk; sending files, In/Out baskets, keyboard and mouse crashing to the floor. Her heart was broken; irreparable. Lauren's legs gave out and she fell to the floor behind her desk, sobbing uncontrollably.

She couldn't stop crying and she couldn't stop feeling. It was like a crack in a dam - the water slowly seeping out until the crack grew bigger and split wide open; the water forcing its way out; uncontrolled, forceful. Lauren's body shuddering as she sobbed. She sat there crying for about half an hour before finally willing herself to stop. Her staff would be in at eight and she had to collect herself. She went out into the lab and splashed water on her face and brushed her fingers through her hair. Her eyes were red and she was emotionally drained. She went back into her office to get the bottle of eye drops that she kept in her drawer for all those long days and late nights working in front of a computer.

The blonde needed to compose herself; to focus on her work in the lab - that would be the only way to get through the day. "Focus! What was I doing before Tamsin?" At the thought of the detective, Lauren's anger flared and her heart lurched. Forcing herself to calm down, Lauren took some deep breaths.

"OK, focus… I made an appointment with the Ash. I should note this down seeing that my thoughts are scattered." With that, Lauren took out her Blackberry; went to her calendar and started to enter information under 11:15 A.M. "Ash – epidemic – Brazil - enter."

Ever the scientist or maybe it was a quality of her anal retentiveness, the blonde double checked to make sure the information saved. There it was. 11:15 A.M.: Ash – epidemic – Brazil."

"Brazil."

Lauren paused; she felt a clarity that she hadn't felt in some time. "Brazil." She couldn't handle being around Bo, much less how she was going to get through this heart break. If she could get away for a while, she could sort out her emotions and re-focus. If she could convince Hale to send her there to help, it would be a perfect opportunity to concentrate on science; help the sick; and heal her broken heart.

Lauren had a goal, now she just needed to come up with a plan. Coming up with solutions to problems was what she excelled at. She would consider all the options, possibilities, answers and reactions. She would think of a plan. She was good at thinking and she was done with feeling. Brazil was her answer.

However, first things first, she had to clean up the mess she made in her office. If she left it in this state, it would draw suspicion.

Lauren's condo (present)

*ring ring ring*

The sound of Lauren's cell phone ringing brought her out of her trance. "Dr. Lewis."

It was Hale.

"Doc. After conferring with Ash Medeiros; the Elders and I have unanimously agreed to approve your assignment to Brazil to assist with their epidemic. It would be to everyone's benefit if you could help in any way possible. And you will be afforded every courtesy."

Lauren was relieved and it resonated in her tone. "Thank you Hale. This means more to me than you can ever imagine. I will find a solution for them."

Hale was glad that he could help her plus, this assignment provided him with a huge political advantage. He had every faith in the doctor's abilities. "Serena will be there on site with you as Security. I have already talked to her about your protection. She will pick you up at 7:30 P.M. to take you to the airport."

The blonde nodded and realized that the Siren couldn't see her response. "I am ready."

Hale wasn't sure if he should say anything but figured that the doctor had a right to know. "Lauren… you were right."

The blonde didn't know what Hale was referring to. "About what?"

"Dyson… I spoke to him today. He had it before our battle with the Garuda."

Lauren was quiet. She was processing this information. She was emotionally numb. If anything, she was relieved that she wasn't imagining all the looks and strange behaviour from him; that this wasn't something that was in her head due to her insecurity. "It was real – Dyson had his love back." She couldn't compete with both Dyson and Tamsin; nor would she. The only thing she had to offer was her heart and science and it seemed as if that wasn't enough anymore. Lauren was taking herself out of this game and any residual doubt that she had about leaving Bo and going to Brazil was now cast aside. She knew that she had made the right decision. "Thank you for letting me know." she said solemnly. "I will be waiting for Serena."

Before they ended the call, Hale wished her luck and said that he would keep in touch via the satellite phone that Serena was issued.

Lauren sat quietly on the couch. This was happening - she was going to Brazil. This meant that for the next few months, she would have her reprieve; she wouldn't have to be around Bo while her heart was broken; and she wouldn't have to face the two Fae that were seemed to want her. Despite it all, she was still madly in love with her girlfriend but she just couldn't bear to be around her. It would only be a reminder of how their relationship failed; how much she loved her; and that Bo would be the last person that she would ever have any companionship, friendship or intimacy with as long as she remained with the Fae; which meant till she died. The enormity of that endless bleakness clutched at Lauren's heart to the point that she physically grabbed at her chest.

Lauren held her tears at bay and forced herself to take a few deep breaths. "One thing at a time. Just focus on the here and now; and make the most out of this opportunity." Lauren calmed herself down. Now came the hard part – letting Bo know. If she were honest with herself, she hoped that her girlfriend would be hurt and that she would miss her – that would mean that Bo cared at least a little but in light of everything, she couldn't say with any certainty if Bo would feel anything; the thought of which saddened her greatly.

The blonde went over to the desk at her lab and took out a pad of paper, a pen and an envelope. This wasn't going to be easy but she had to tell Bo the truth about how she felt and why she was leaving; she had to do this before Serena came for her in 30 minutes. If there was ever a time to not hold back and express herself, it was now – she had to pour all her emotions out on to paper. This would be her only opportunity. She started to write.

Dear Bo...

TBC