As the Hokage handed team seven the mission scroll, he shivered. There, in the back of the group, was Sakura Haruno with murder in her eyes. Minato raised his eyebrow. "Haruno-san, is there a problem?"

"'Is there a problem?' he asks. Is there a problem? Forgive me, Hokage-sama, but your bastard student keeps giving us the shittiest of missions! I'm sick of it!" Her rant started at a normal tone of voice, but by the end, she was shrieking like a banshee.

"Now, now," Minato said placatingly, "I'm sure you're mistaken, right Kakashi-san?"

"Nope!" The evil jōnin smiled. "She is completely correct. I just figured if they dealt with the hardest missions now, the rest of their careers would seem like cake in comparison! It builds character."

Minato face-palmed. "Kakashi..."

"You know what also builds character?" Kakashi turned to see Naruto pouring a white powder into the empty chamber of his arm cannon and then aim it at his face. The demon smirked. "I'll give you a hint: it also seems like cake! Flour Canon!"

The whole tower had to be evacuated.

Unsurprisingly, considering just who the Hokage was, only the members of team seven actually ended up with any dust on them whatsoever. The rest of the people were flashed out before their clothes could be ruined. When he returned, Minato glared at Naruto. "You know, if you had just acted maturely, I would have given you a C-rank without question. As it is, I will be giving your team that mission, but Naruto, you'll be doing it without pay. And it starts tomorrow, so tonight, you'll be helping clean the tower of all this flour." He looked at Sasuke and Sakura. "Sorry, you two. You two will be getting paid for this C-rank; don't worry. Also, I'm forbidding you from helping Naruto clean this up unless he pays to hire you for an official D-rank, which you of course don't have to accept."

"What!" Naruto cried.

Sasuke snickered. "Later, dobe!"

Sakura shrugged. "You did ruin my dress. I'm out."

The Hokage smirked, as if he knew that those were going to be their responses. "Then allow me to take you two and Kakashi to meet Tazuna, your client."

Despite the fact that he'd not be paid for this mission, Naruto really wasn't that upset. He had a good stash of money hidden away, and with how rich his father was, it wasn't like he was really wanting for anything money-wise. Instead, he focused on the fact that this was his first official time out of the village.

He was already transformed as he waited in a tree by the front gate. His tail swished idly back and forth as he played with his various bioweapons, shifting his arms, currently two in number, through their various bone blades, missiles, and chakra blasters. When he saw Kakashi, Sakura, and Sasuke approaching with an unfamiliar civilian man, he hopped out of the tree and landed in their path with a thud. "Going somewhere?" he growled, releasing a touch of his demonic chakra-laced killing intent to amplify the effect.

The civilian backed up in fright. Sasuke grunted and rolled his eyes. Sakura deadpanned, "Naruto."

His apparent mood doing a complete one-eighty, Naruto stood up straight and smiled while reigning back in his K.I. and chakra. "Hey guys, this our client?"

"Yes he is. Naruto, this is Tazuna, the bridge builder from Wave," Kakashi answered. "Tazuna, this is Naruto, my third but not-so-little student."

Tazuna whistled. "I'll say." He took a swig from his sake bottle. "Hey, you don't happen to have an older brother, do ya? 'Bout twenty five, giant like you, red eyes, brown hair?"

That was Naruto's "Party Demon" guise he was describing. "Nope," Naruto replied. "I don't have any siblings. Well, there's Kakashi, but we aren't related by blood. I've got ten aunts and uncles, though, so maybe he's one of my cousins?"

"Damn," Tazuna swore. "When I saw you, I'd hoped you'd know him. I owe him an apology."

"What for?" Naruto asked. "If I happen to find him, I'll tell him. Can't be too hard to find someone my size."

"Bah, sure. He helped my village. A man called Gatō's been hurting my country's economy. Oni-sama came and scared off some of Gatō's thugs, then left the town with some much needed money. It got stolen by Gatō's thugs a few days after he left." Tazuna took another swig of his sake. "He told us to put it to good use, and we couldn't even keep it safe. We tasted hope, but couldn't keep it. Gah... never mind. Let's just get going."

"So you're just a genin, like your teammates?" Tazuna asked. "But they're so much younger than you! Either they're really good, or you're really stupid."

"Could you shut that asshole up, Kit? I'm trying to sleep," an irate Kurama snapped.

Irritated, Naruto replied, "Despite my condition making me appear otherwise, I'm actually the same age as Sakura and Sasuke."

Tazuna stopped in his tracks, trying to process that. "Wait, really? You're what, twelve?"

"Thirteen, actually." He shifted down to his human form, though he didn't bother with his clothing storage seal, so his baggy clothing made him appear even smaller. With one hand holding up his pants, Naruto waved the other hand around. "I can make myself smaller for a time, but I don't like it." Point made, he grew back to his normal form.

"Kami. What are they feeding you?"

"Ramen."

"... the hell?" He shook his head. "No. Too much. Ninja magic, I can understand. You, from ramen? No way." Tazuna jogged forwards.

With Tazuna's back to him, Naruto grew a devilish grin. Putting his hands together into the ram seal, he henged, making sure that there was extra smoke and an extra loud poof. Tazuna, hearing the transformation, turned around...

"Oh, Tazuna-sama~"

And came face-to-breast with nine feet of sexy, busty woman that put Tsunade to shame. Naruto's boobs, though covered by his exceedingly tight shirt, threatened to spill forth at any second as they jiggled and bounced in defiance of gravity. "Do you really think I get my figure by eating ramen? No." He trailed his manicured and painted fingernails up Tazuna's arm and to his face. "I work hard to be this sexy~"

Tazuna's nose erupted with blood, sending him flying. Chuckling, Naruto released the henge, only to break out into full-on laughter when he saw that Sasuke was pinching his nose and the top of Kakashi's mask was turning red. As he jogged over to the fallen Tazuna, Naruto said, "Hey, Kakashi, if you can get Minato-tousan to pay me for this mission, I'll pose with a clone for Ero-sennin to draw inspiration from, and I'll let you watch~"

"Now now, Naruto, that was highly unprofessional of you, and I will not be tempted by such petty offers," Kakashi scolded. Sakura, who was fuming at the display, nodded in agreement. "But, off the record, how many enemy ninja did you just singlehandedly defeat?" Scooping Tazuna up and pinching his nose to stop the bleeding, Naruto chuckled.

"Naruto! Kakashi! You perverts!" Sakura shrieked.

As it just so happened, her voice was enough to wake Tazuna. "Ugh, what happened? There was this woman-"

"Naruto-baka accidentally hit you in the face," Sakura interrupted. "You passed out and got a nose bleed."

Tazuna's hand came up to his nose and wiped a little of the blood away. "Well, what do you know? Heh, Naruto, if getting hit in the face by you results in dreams like that, if you ever need a personal punching bag, my face is open."

Realizing that that little diversion did not go as she'd hoped, Sakura fumed. "It's not like they're thinking with that head anyway," she muttered.

At that moment, inside Naruto's gut, the fox demon perked up. "Naruto, two hostiles at twelve o'clock. Range, 1200 yards. They're hiding."

Naruto set Tazuna down. Looking ahead, he spotted nothing at that distance except a puddle of water on the road, and yet that was exactly where the hostility Kurama was sensing came from. It was so far that he had to squint to see it. Still, having identified the spot, Naruto signed to Kakashi in Konoha Standard. Hostile. Two. Far Distance. Attempting Counter-Ambush. Good?

Kakashi made a single motion in return. Yes.

"Hey, Tazuna-san. Wanna make a bet?" Naruto asked.

"Oh? What kind of bet?"

"Way, way in the distance, there's a puddle. I'm going to try and hit it with a rock. If I win, I don't know, why don't you tell us a story about yourself?"

"I don't even see... wait, that little thing?" He burst out laughing. "Yeah, good luck. And when I win, you have to buy me a dozen bottles of sake."

"Deal! Sasuke, be the judge!" Sasuke grunted his approval; he was actually interested in if Naruto could do it. Naruto knelt down and held out one hand, bracing it with the other. The palm of his hand opened up and his fingers pulled back, revealing the hollow barrel of his cannon. "Earth Canon!" Two seconds later, he fired.

Earth natured chakra roared out of the barrel. The moment it hit the air, it condensed into a hypersonic boulder. It took only a fraction of a second for the stone to slam into the ground just short of the puddle. The explosion of dirt, while satisfying, meant that he owed Tazuna some sake. Oh, and that the enemies knew that they were coming, but Naruto was more concerned about the sake.

As the two ninja emerged from the dust, Kakashi briefly exposed his sharingan to get a good look at them. "Mist Ninja," he announced. "The Demon Brothers, heh, Meizu and Gōzu, I think." He pulled out his copy of the bingo book. "Yep. That's them. I wonder what they're doing out here?" He sent a very pointed look at Tazuna.

Tazuna spluttered. "Me? Why would you think they're after me?" I'm just a bridge builder!"

"That's funny, I don't remember saying they were after you," Kakashi "innocently" replied. "Are they? Should we be worried? Because you hired us to protect you from bandits, and as bandit-like as those two are, they are shinobi. This is now a B-rank, if they are after you."

"I... ah..." The three genin and one jōnin looked at him accusingly. "Fine. You got me. Gatō, I told you about him, he's after me. He doesn't want my bridge built because he wants to keep his control on Wave Country! So he sent ninjas after me! I wanted ninjas to protect me, but you were all I could afford! I'm sorry I lied, but-"

"HA!" A sudden blast of light blinded the group. When it cleared, Naruto was pointing his cannon in the direction of a smoking crater in the distance, one that just so happened to be where the so-called Demon Brothers were. Naruto laughed in mock-sheepishness. "I saw a bug... It was like this big!" He held up his hand, one of which was still in cannon mode, and held them about a foot apart. "But I got it!"

"Well, I guess that counts as 'protection from wild animals,' I guess. Naruto, just let us know in advance if you see any more... bugs." Kakashi sweatdropped. "Some of them can be really dangerous."

"Hai, sensei."

Tazuna, shaken from seeing the raw destructive power of Naruto's cannon, moved over to the other two genin. "Can you two do that?"

"Err," Sakura began, but a motion from Sasuke made her stop.

"We're ninja. It's what we're paid to do."

Tazuna realized the implications. "Ah, shit."

"Now Tazuna, Konoha is one of the nicest hidden villages. For customers who cannot pay all at once, we do offer special deals to allow you to pay over time, with goods and services, or with other deals. I'm sure we can work something out, provided you start telling us everything you know about the man who's after you, or Naruto here might find a 'bug' on your shoulder," Kakashi cheerfully explained as if he hadn't just threatened the man's life.

"Gah! I'll talk! I'll talk!"

Considering her sensor training so far, Sakura knew that normal visibility obstructions shouldn't have affected her novice abilities. And yet, as the fog rolled in shortly after having disembarked the boat, Sakura found she was having trouble both seeing and sensing her teammates, despite them being right next to her. "Sensei..."

Kakashi's head bobbed once. The four ninja went on guard.

"Kurama," Naruto thought. "Where?"

"Hard to say — he's too calm for me to get an accurate fix on his location. Left, I think."

There was a noise. "Get down!"

There was a squelch. Sakura looked up to see Naruto standing above her, with a giant blade buried almost all the way through his abdomen. "Naruto?"

As for the kitsune's son, he was focused on the blade itself. Sprouting his extra arms, the three on the right grabbed the handle and yanked the blade out. Blood spurt everywhere, some of it falling on Sakura herself, but Naruto paid it no mind. His and Kurama's chakras were already healing him up; even now, he could feel the muscles stitching themselves together in a way similar to how they moved when he summoned his extra limbs. It felt good.

Naruto gave the blade an experimental swing, flicking the blood off. "Lovely, a sword my size. Thank you, mysterious attacker. I think I'll keep it."

"I'd ask how you survived that, but honestly, I've seen weirder," a bandage-covered Kiri-nin stated as he appeared in the increasingly foggy clearing. With a hand seal on the Kiri-nin's part, the mist thickened further, completely hiding him from view. "Of course, I want the Kubikiribōchō back."

Naruto hefted blade up onto his shoulder, finding a strange comfort in its weight. The only weapons he'd ever fought with up until now were his kunai, shuriken, and whatever his Asura path could create, which was usually smaller than that.

"Hey, Naruto, I was thinking, there really is no reason to stick around. All we're here for is protecting Tazuna, and I think I could do my job better if you four weren't in the crossfire, no?" Kakashi called out.

Naruto nodded. As much as he wanted to fight, and as much as he wanted to see the fight (a moot point, really), he understood the logic behind Kakashi's words, and agreed with it. "I'll leave a clone for you, if you need it." With those words, he created three clones. One dove into the trees, the two clones firmly grabbed Sasuke and Tazuna, and he — the original — grabbed Sakura. Passengers in tow, Naruto extended his wings. "Later, 'Kashi-sensei."

Zabuza watched them leave. "Damnit. He can fly? Sorry, Kakashi no Sharingan, as much as I want to fight, that's my meal ticket and my sword."

"Funny story, he's meal ticket, too. I guess we'll have to fight like academy children over their lunch money," Kakashi replied.

"You know what else is funny? I slaughtered my whole academy class."

"Touché."

"Ok, if you could fly, why didn't we fly from the very beginning?" Tazuna asked as soon as they landed (and as soon as he'd stopped screaming).

"Well, first is the fact that you've pissed yourself," Naruto remarked. "I didn't want to hold a piss-soaked man any longer than I had to — that's not my kink. Second, I normally go a lot faster, which means I would have had to hold on a lot tighter. Your ribs wouldn't like that at all."

"I guess not."

"Third," Naruto continued. "I go fast enough that the wind would have torn apart your face — dust is really abrasive. And fourth, bugs. They can take your eye out."

"Then how come you can fly without getting hit?"

"Who says I don't?"

"Your face does. I see your eyes, and they're just fine."

"And you also saw me yank this sword out of my gut, yes? I was almost cut in half with this thing, and I'm fine now. You humans don't heal like I do."

"Speaking of which," Sakura interrupted, "I'm covered in blood! Your clones' blood vanished when they did, but this is real! Naruto, it's all over me!"

Naruto grinned and pulled out a scroll. From it, he unsealed a dress. "Here, a change of clothes."

Grateful, Sakura accepted it. She unfolded it to examine it, when the obvious question occurred to her. "Naruto, why exactly do you have a dress... in my exact size?"

"Oh, you never know. Sometimes girls lose their dresses, sometimes the get torn in the heat of the moment. I always keep spares of every size, in case of clothing emergency. Shirts and pants, too."

Tazuna blanched. "What sort of things are you doing that you need to hold on to that many dresses at once?" he asked, fearing the answer.

Naruto let out a perverted giggle. "Dancing, of course. What else would a hormonal teenager who's legally considered an adult in his village and can make men and women alike scream in pleasure with a single touch spend his time doing?"

"Staying far away from my daughter, that's what you can spend your time doing," Tazuna replied. "Maybe you can put all those arms of yours to good use and help me build my bridge? That's a constructive activity for a young man like you to channel his energy into."

Naruto shrugged. "I like you, old man. Sure, why no? I've got to guard you anyway, may as well do something to get my blood pumping, seeing as I didn't get to fight Zabuza." While he was thinking of it, he cast more of his attention back to the clone he'd left behind, just in time to see Kakashi shove a chidori through Zabuza's chest. "And now I won't be able to; Kakashi just won."

Tazuna looked like he was about to respond, then closed his mouth and turned towards his home, which was only a short distance away. Pushing open the door, he announced, "I'm home!"

From inside, a woman's voice exclaimed, "Tousan! You're back!"

Tazuna looked over his shoulder and motioned for the three genin to follow him inside. Sakura and Sasuke nodded and immediately went inside, while Naruto stayed back. Considering his true form's massive size, squeezing inside a building meant for normal humans was something of a challenge; placing a hand on the storage seal, Naruto shrank down and exchanged his clothing. Of course, the Kubikiribōchō didn't seal away, leaving the massive blade awkwardly balanced on the tiny thirteen year old's shoulders with only a single hand stabilizing it. It, quite predictably, clattered to the ground.

Sheepishly, Naruto hefted the gargantuan blade back up and made his way inside. Tazuna, upon seeing him, remarked, "You shrank."

"Well, yeah. Otherwise, I'd have been too much man for this house to handle!" Naruto boasted.

"Now if only his head shrank with the rest of him," Sasuke deadpanned, earning a snigger from both Sakura and Tazuna.

The older woman in the room, Tazuna's daughter, didn't get the joke, as apparent by her expression. "And you are?"

"Naruto Namikaze, at your service!" He did a little bow, though it caused one end of the sword to bump against the wall.

Sakura glared at Naruto. "Hey! Seal that thing away? Why did you even bring that in here? It's still nasty and covered in blood. And so am I, for that matter. Tsunami-san, is there somewhere I can change, please?"

"Of course. You're not hurt, are you?" Sakura shook her head, making Tsunami sigh with relief. "That's good. There's a bathroom just down that way, but knock to make sure Inari isn't in there."

"Inari?"

"He's my son."

"Ah. Thank you, Tsunami-san." Sakura bowed and then escorted herself out.

There was a poof, then a clap of hands. Naruto stood up, sans the Kubikiribōchō, and pocketed one of the many sealing scrolls he kept on his person. Pulling out a different one, he unsealed a first-aid kit. "Kakashi-sensei should be here any second now. He's got a kunai wound on his left arm and he's suffering from chakra exhaustion, but he should be fine." A blast of chakra-laced wind rattled the window of the house. "And there he is."

The front door slid open and, just as he had said, a wounded, exhausted, but victorious Kakashi limped inside. Naruto grabbed him on his good side and helped him in, while Sasuke immediately started tending to his wound using the first-aid kit.

Outside, the clone did not dispel. Instead, put away its wings and extra arms, and then, ducking out of sight, henged. Being nothing more than a chakra construct, the clone's transformation was total, rather than just a chakra shell. Now wearing his "Oni-sama" face, which was slightly shorter and stockier than his normal form, the clone made its way into the city proper. After all, Gatō did steal the gift he'd left for the citizens of Wave; perhaps it was time for another party, one where Gatō was the guest of honor.

But inside of Tazuna's home, none of the humans were aware of the demon's plan, and Naruto was in no mood to enlighten them. While the two male genin doctored up their sensei, Sakura returned to the main room, now significantly cleaner. Post battle clean-up done, the ninja settled in for the evening.

Oni-sama, still a face without a real name, strolled through the streets of Wave Country. All around him, he saw desolate people in desperate situations. Starving men, women, and children, thieves and beggars alike. The only people with any sort of money or good health were also armed and were avoided by the general populace. The sheer arrogance and ill-will radiated by them — no need for Kurama to tell him that — was strong enough to make Naruto gag. They were clearly Gatō's thugs.

The giant stood out in the crowd; almost twice as tall as the average adult, it was nigh-impossible not to. And yet, nobody was concerned by him. They couldn't be. As he passed someone, a smile would form on their face, even if for only a moment. Even if the cause was artificial, joy was joy, and it tended to linger in someone's mind for a short while afterwards.

There was a tug on his cloak. Oni-sama looked down at the little boy whose hand clutched the fabric. Kneeling down, he put his hand on the boy's head. "And what can I do for you, little one?"

"Do you have anything to eat?"

Oni-sama frowned. The child in front of him was clearly malnourished, and if the texture of his hair was any indication, he'd been malnourished for a sizable portion of his short life. "I'm sorry, I don't have anything at the moment. But, I heard Gatō had a lot of food, that he and his bad men were keeping it all. I bet I could steal some from him." None of that was said quietly; he was speaking at a slightly-above-normal volume. "In fact, the only reason he has so much food is that he tricks people into thinking he's stronger than he is. Yes, he is strong, but if you're sneaky like a ninja, like me, you can beat anyone." Then, for good measure, he sent a burst of hope through the child and anyone who was listening.

The disguised demon stood and grinned as he noticed two of the thugs marching towards him and drawing their weapons. "Well, kid, I'd love to stay and chat, but these two fine gentlemen seem to want to talk to the magnificent me." He looked over at them and flashed his razor-sharp teeth. "Perhaps I can talk them into feeding me for the evening; it's been so long since I last ate."

Closing the distance between himself and the thugs with more speed than his large frame would suggest, Oni-sama placed his hands on the two thugs' shoulders. "Evening, gentlemen. What can I do for you?"

"Well, friend, you can shut the hell up. Gatō ain't got no food, and talkin' nonsense is a good way to get yourself killed," the sword-wielding thug on the left.

"Well, my mouth's never caused me any trouble before, but maybe that's because I'm a Silver Tongued Bastard." He activated his special jutsu and watched the new emotions dance across their faces. "Come, I've got an offer that you can't refuse. It won't take long."

The two thugs laughed, as if he'd made a joke, and then sheathed their weapons. "Of course, old friend. Lead the way!" the other replied. Oni-sama did so, pushing them forwards with a hand on each shoulder. However, as he directed them around a corner, he spared a glance back. The little boy was still standing there, looking worried for him. The demon winked at him.

Once the three of them were alone, the demon asked, "Where's Gatō right now?"

"Probably at the base, like usual." The demon asked for clarification, and then memorized their response. "Why do you need to know?" the same thug replied.

"I just wanted to pay him a visit, that's all." Then, suddenly and without warning, the demon jabbed his claw into the thug's neck and poured in a large quantity of demonic chakra. The thug collapsed like a Suna puppet without its puppeteer.

The other thug laughed, as if he'd just seen Oni-sama do a cool party trick; such was the power of emotional manipulation, that even in the face of death, his victims couldn't react appropriately to their situation. He had no doubts in his mind that the thug was perfectly aware of his situation, and would have found it frightening, but the demon was forcing him to simply find it amusing. "Your turn."

The demon jabbed him with his claws and injected his chakra as well, but then caught the man before he could hit the ground. Lifting him up while bending his own head down, the demon opened his jaw wide and bit into the man's neck. Blood and chakra filled his mouth. He drank greedily.

Like the venom of a spider, his highly corrosive chakra dissolved every last part of the man's body, leaving the skin for last. Simply by sucking, the demon was able to devour the entire man. When he was finished, he dropped the man's clothing, grabbed the other thug, and devoured him as well.

It was an interesting feeling, the clone noted; he'd only ever done this in his physical body; being made of pure chakra, the clone could feel the gore further breaking down inside his body and spreading throughout himself. It almost made him feel physical, and he wondered if he ate enough people like this, could his clone body become flesh and blood.

He picked up the thugs clothing, noting that all it would take was a simple wash and they'd be good enough to add to his collection. After all, that's how he'd gotten Sakura's new dress. He licked his lips, pleased to taste the last drops of his prey's blood, and folded up the clothes. Having tucked them away in his cloak, he turned and started walking towards Gatō's base.

Stepping out into the busy street, the demon had an idea. "Akuma." The word came out as barely a whisper, but even as he said it, he knew it felt right. Simple and to the point, he decided that it would serve as this face's name. Now properly a persona, Akuma strolled towards a certain yakuza boss's hideout.

Inside him, the chakra of the two thugs finally finished absorbing. They had a little more than an ordinary civilians, enough to make Akuma wonder if they had even a little ninja training. He normally left ninja alone, but he was feeling good today. Maybe, if there was a ninja there, he'd have himself something a little more substantial than that little snack.