Poof. "Yo!"
"You're late, Kakashi-sensei!" Sakura yelled. Around her, Naruto, Sasuke, and the entirety of team ten nodded. Of course, none of them were really mad; they'd planned around Kakashi's weird schedule.
Team seven and team ten were meeting again for their weekly spars. They'd been having them ever since the formation of their teams, though recently, they'd gotten a bit rougher. The moment Asuma had heard that Naruto survived having nearly been cut in half, and then having Naruto prove it by mutilating himself with the very same sword, he'd told the Ino-Shika-Chō trio to go all out, at least against Naruto.
"Human Bullet Tank!" Chōji shouted as his body rapidly ballooned. In less than a second, he was spinning towards Naruto at high speeds.
"Naruto, blunt tail! Sakura, chase!" Sasuke roared even as he performed the hand seals for the Phoenix Sage Fire Technique. He fired, aiming for the area around Shikamaru, hoping to force the Nara back.
Naruto, on hearing the order, stopped fleeing the human boulder and jumped into a handstand. He wound up his entire body, and with a massive boom, slapped Chōji with the blunt part of his tail like a baseball bat. Chōji was sent careening towards Ino, who was forced to dodge.
What Ino wasn't expecting was Sakura to be chasing Chōji, ready to pepper her with shuriken. Blunted training shuriken they may have been, they still stung when they hit Ino in the face. But they hurt Ino's pride slightly more, as a face strike, as per the rules of this spar, was considered an automatic out. "Sakura killed me!" Ino shouted as she retreated.
Shikamaru muttered something under his breath. He made a hand seal, and with a quick flick of his shadow, sent Chōji towards Sasuke.
"Wind!" Sasuke shouted. Naruto's hand transformed into a cannon, and he shot a concentrated blast of blunt wind chakra at the human boulder, deflecting it to the side. Having not charged up his chakra, and instead having fired instantly, the blast was only a low C-rank jutsu; even a civilian could have survived that hit. But, lethal or not, the wind blast did what it was supposed to do, knocking Chōji aside.
"Sasuke, look out!" Sakura called. Her arms, moving against her will because of the shadows, caused her to throw her remaining Shuriken. Sasuke dodged, but ended up right back in Chōji's path. Naruto, acting quickly, shoved Sasuke out of the way and took the hit from Chōji.
Meanwhile, Shikamaru did the smart thing with his captive, and forced her to draw her kunai. He made her hold it up to her own neck and forced her to draw the blunt ring of the kunai across her neck. Knowing that it very well could have been the sharp end, Sakura shouted, "Shikamaru killed me!"
Sasuke, though trying to ready himself for the next volley, had to look away from his teammate for the moment. Naruto had taken the full brunt of Chōji's strike, and had been run over. Everything from the navel down had been pulverized. Naruto was currently propping himself up with two of his arms. "You ok, Naruto?" Sasuke asked.
"I will be. Buy me a minute."
Sasuke nodded. Readying his kunai, he tossed it at Shikamaru, who dodged. However, the clever Nara was also ready for the small fireballs that chased after it. "You are troublesome with that fire."
Suddenly, there was Chōji. By now, he was moving noticeably slower, but he still was incredibly heavy. Sasuke jumped, which was enough so that when Chōji struck, Sasuke bounced into the air.
"Exit four!" Shikamaru shouted at the top of his lungs. Chōji suddenly shrank back to normal and slid under the airborne Sasuke. Kunai at the ready, the Akimichi struck.
"Chōji killed me!" Sasuke shouted.
Now it was two on one. Other than some bruises on Chōji's body, the two remaining members of team ten were basically unharmed, though they were both running low on steam. Conversely, Naruto, while still down a pair of legs and a tail, had six functional arms, each with a mounted arm cannon, that could fire tremendous blasts. They were aimed at both the Nara and the Akimichi.
"Chōji, Shikamaru, stand down!" Naruto demanded.
Chōji glanced at his friend, who mouthed something Naruto couldn't quite catch. Turning back to Naruto, Chōji dropped out of his ready stance and calmly walked towards the demon. "Good spar. Are your legs good?"
"Yeah, I'll finish healing them in a minute. Still, that was fu-WHAT!" Naruto's body couldn't move. There, emerging from between Chōji's legs, was Shikamaru's shadow.
"We didn't actually surrender," Shikamaru replied. "Chōji, finish it."
Chōji punched Naruto in the front face. As per the rules, head strikes were lethal.
Asuma and Kakashi stepped up to their genin. "Well done, both teams," Asuma said. "Not to sound like Gai, Kakashi, but that's 3-2 in my team's favor."
"Yes, I suppose it is. I guess that just means I'll have to train my students harder," Kakashi replied. "Naruto, you have the most eyes of any person on this team. I expected better situational awareness from you."
"Yes, sensei."
"That said, you, all of you, Asuma's team included, have shown remarkable improvement," Kakashi continued.
"That's why we've decided to allow you six to compete in the Chūnin exams," Asuma said.
"That said," Kakashi added, his tone changed to a more serious one, "We, Asuma, Kurenai — who's also entering team eight — and I were talking, and we realized that none of you had very much in the way of live combat training. Yes, we've had these spars, but none of you have been in life-or-death situations. So, we've decided that while we'll nominate you, we will not be offering our support in the final promotional decisions this time. If you are promoted regardless, good for you. If not, then use this as the learning experience we intend it to be."
The genin, who had looked ecstatic to be considered for the chūnin exams, were now noticeably less so. Still, there was a fire in each and every one of their eyes, one determined to prove to their senseis that they could pass, even without help.
"Also, I bet Asuma two hundred ryō that I could get more of my students into the final exam then he could. So make him pay, team seven."
"I'm going to crush you, Ino-pig!"
"Not if I crush you first, Billboard Brow!"
Sparks flew.
Naruto strolled through the streets of Konoha in his human form. He never publicly showed his demon form while off duty, simply because it was more convenient to be able to fit in the places where he wanted to go. Rumors of his demon form were already circulating, however, and considering the reputation of demons and humans who bore the "demon" title, it was no wonder that the people were starting to give him a wide breadth as he walked.
But that was ok; what did he need stupid humans for, anyway? And if he really needed their affection, he could just make them love him.
Right?
He was in a funk, Naruto would admit. It was one of those weird sorts of moods that struck from time to time with little prompting, stayed for some time, and then left just as fast. Even someone as "eternally optimistic" as Naruto fell prey to them from time to time.
Minato was busy. He was always busy, nowadays. Sure, his father could always make a shadow clone for when Naruto wanted time with him but he couldn't be pulled away, but that wasn't the same. The knowledge that the man you're looking at is an exact replica of the one you love, but would vanish if you hugged them too hard, was unpleasant. Time spent with a clone, even if the original would get the memories, just wasn't the same.
At least, however, he wasn't the only one in a foul mood; Kurama had found someone who was just a big ball of concentrated rage. That the owner of the rage was surrounded by two spots of dull fear, and yet nobody else was reacting, was interesting enough to attract the demonic pair's attention. So, Naruto strolled through the streets of Konoha, searching.
It didn't take long to find them. Sitting at a picnic table in one of Konoha's many little gardens were three shinobi, all three of whom wore the Suna hourglass symbol. The two fearful ones were the girl and the boy with the face paint. The third, with the kanji for "love" on his head, looked utterly bored despite the rage emanating from him.
"Maybe he has a split personality," Naruto suggested, after Kurama had noted the dual-emotions as well.
"Or maybe he has two spirits in one body." Kurama's eyes widened. "Like us. Get closer, I want to feel his chakra."
"Hello, Suna ninja-san!" Naruto called out, a semi-faked smile spreading across his face. "Are you here for the Chūnin exams?"
The love-marked one replied in monotone, "Yes. We are."
"Cool! Then I'll see you there!"
"Drop my name, Kit. I want to see his reaction."
"Now, forgive my forwardness, Love-san," — Naruto made and obvious glance to his forehead — "but a very close companion of mine is a sensor, sensing emotions instead of chakra. Kurama was curious as to why you feel so angry, and yet look so bored."
The red haired shinobi suddenly clutched his head and groaned in pain. He growled, "Mother wants your blood!"
The fear spiked in the other two shinobi, causing them to jump back. "What the hell did you do to Gaara?" the male asked.
"Said a name only two women outside this village should know. So the question is, Gaara, who is your mother, Matatabi or Kokuō?" Naruto asked. However, that only seemed to upset Gaara even more, enough that Gaara was willing to attack. The gourd opened, and sand floated out.
"No fucking way. You're Shukaku's kid?" Naruto asked, recognizing the sand for what it was. "But... Shukaku's a guy."
The sand froze in place.
"What the hell?!" the girl exclaimed.
Naruto looked at her, but jabbed his thumb at Gaara. "He holds Shukaku, right? The one-tailed tanuki?" She nodded. "And he calls him his mother? The most hyper-masculine of the bijū, a female? Oh, Kami!"
The blond girl didn't reply, but she didn't need to. At that moment, deep within Naruto's gut, the fox was howling. "Let me out! Let me out! I need to speak! Let me out!"
"Shut up, fox. Here." Naruto stepped aside, his mind fully moving into Akuma's body while Kurama took control of his original.
Malevolent, fiery-red chakra erupted out of Naruto's body, forming a shroud around him. It formed itself into Kurama's face, while out his back, nine tails of crimson chakra erupted forth. His eyes, normally solid purple, turned solid crimson. And when he spoke, it was Kurama's booming voice, not Naruto's human one. "Well, little brother, we meet again, both bound inside hosts."
Around them, dozens of shinobi, many of them ANBU, appeared with more coming every second, all drawn by the release of the kyūbi's demonic chakra. As for the two Suna ninja, they turned-tail and ran. Kurama paid them no mind; he had other concerns at the moment. "So, what's this I hear about you becoming a female?"
Kurama grabbed the Suna jinchūriki. Demonic chakra poured into Gaara; were he anyone else, that amount of corrosive energy would have killed him instantly. As it was, it merely burned the skin under Kurama's hands. The energy twisted around, searching, until it found the boy's seal. "Because, after you humiliated me the way you did, you giving up your own pride and joy makes me feel amazing." Then Kurama saw Shukaku through the seal, and the laughter that was underscoring his voice vanished. "That's just sad, Shukaku. Where the hell are your balls?"
"Shut the hell up, Kurama!" Shukaku shouted back from within the seal. "I don't have to answer to a slut like you!"
"Yes, I'm a slut. That's the point! You beat me at my own game, and then you go and mutilate yourself! A man's pride is his balls, and you had the biggest in the world! You are literally the only person I've ever lost to in matters of the body, and in the game of love. I admit that! So what the hell happened to you?" Kurama shouted.
Shukaku's paws clutched his head, which he shook back and forth. "No, no no!"
"Shukaku!"
"SHUT UP!" He fell silent, though the tanuki's body still shook. Much, much quieter, the castrated tanuki repeated, "Shut up..."
Kurama frowned. Normally, his brother acted like a crazed, happy drunk, one who lived bombastically and enjoyed every moment. This, this was wrong. "Shu, talk to me."
"They hurt me, Kurama. I'll kill them all. I'll wipe every last shitty human off this planet. Now leave me alone."
Something unspoken passed between the two brothers, and in that instant, the fox understood. Realizing that he had very much overstayed his welcome, Kurama withdrew. Pulling his son's hand away from Gaara, the kyūbi let his chakra fade back into the seal. Before he faded back completely, he looked Gaara in the eye, though he said nothing. Then, in the time it took to blink, Naruto found himself back in control of his own body.
"Go home, Naruto. I don't want to be around filthy humans and their disgusting emotions."
Naruto nodded, both at Kurama and at Gaara. "Later, cousin." Then he shunshined home.
It took nearly fifteen minutes for Minato to arrive. For the Yellow Flash, that may as well have been an eternity. He'd teleported, expecting to end up in a fight, or at least somewhere public. Instead, he ended up in his son's room.
"Naruto?"
The boy was lying in bed, just staring at the ceiling. He didn't look in Minato's direction, but he did speak. "And now you show up."
"Naruto, I was just told that you called on the kyūbi's chakra in the middle of town!"
"Kurama-tousan's 'the kyūbi' now?" Naruto quipped rhetorically. He rolled over to face his father. "Well, 'the kyūbi' wanted to talk to his brother, 'the ichibi.' So I let him."
"Talk to... the ichibi is in Konoha?! Naruto, who is its jinchūriki?"
"A genin named Gaara," Naruto answered.
"Gaara? The Kazekage's son?" Minato's hands came together in a cross. The shadow clone that appeared teleported away an instant later.
Naruto sat up, a smile forming on his face. "At least I got the real you this time. A clone would have just poofed. Glad at least one of you right now, Tousan."
"One of us?" Minato cocked his head to the side. "What's up with Kurama? What actually happened between him and the ichibi?"
"Shukaku. His name is Shukaku. They talked. The people of Suna did something horrible to Shukaku-jisan, and it made him lose his balls, both figuratively and literally. At first Kurama was happy, seeing his rival so ashamed, but now he's just pissed off." Naruto sighed and leaned back so that he was looking up at the ceiling again. "I've never actually heard him this mad. Normally, when he rants, there are sex jokes and half-hearted rape threats. This, this is just pure death and slaughter." There was a beat of silence. "And now he's pacing."
Minato sat down on the edge of Naruto's bed and put a hand on his son's belly. "Naruto, I really wish you didn't have to listen to any of that; it's not good for a child your age to hear that." He chuckled morbidly, knowing that there was nothing he could actually do to silence the demon in his son's gut. "Oh, Kami. Naruto, should I be worried about this? Both Kurama and Shukaku?"
Naruto shook his head. "No, I don't think so, not now at least. Just keep doing your job, but keep an eye on Gaara anyway. Shukaku-jisan was swearing death to all humans, and I really do think he meant it."
"Right, well I'll put an ANBU tail on him, just in case."
The young demon chuckled. "Like that'll stop him if he wants to escape. The ANBU aren't as good as you think."
Minato leaned in close. "Oh, what makes you say that? I happen to think my ANBU are very good."
Naruto grinned. "Let's just say the Wave mission wasn't quite the first time I'd actually left the village."
His feet splashed through the water that perpetually flowed through the seal. No matter how he changed the rest of the seal, the water always returned. How the water behaved actually depended on Kurama, rather than Naruto. The deeper the water, the more Chakra Kurama was putting out. The temperature of the water was based on the fire chakra he was emitting, while the speed at which it flowed depended on Kurama's wind chakra.
It was fast, deep, and boiling hot. Despite that, it didn't actually burn Naruto, nor did it prove to be any hindrance on his movement. It did, however, leave the young demon nervous.
His mental bodies, both that of Akuma and Naruto, wore no clothing. Why both bodies appeared in the seal, he didn't know, nor did he bother asking why. He also didn't bother stopping to admire himself, and instead trudged his way down the flooded corridor of the bijū-sized palace.
When he finally came to the main room, the young demon found his father staring at a headless statue of a tanuki, the remains of its head clutched in his hand-like front paw. The fox heard Naruto's two bodies approaching, and turned to face them.
Never before had Naruto seen such loathing in his father's eyes, such rage carved into his face. Normally, his fox-father was jovial and smiling. This was the face of hatred incarnate. "NARUTO."
"Kurama-tousan, what's with the evil-eyes?"
If a grin could be hateful, the one Kurama gave his son would be the definition of it. "I REMEMBER, NARUTO. I REMEMBER MY HATRED." His paws shot out, grabbing both of his son's bodies. As he lifted them up, Kurama shifted himself to a bipedal stance. His tails furiously slashed at the air. "KIT, LET ME TELL YOU WHAT IT REALLY MEANS TO BE A DEMON. LET ME SHOW YOU THE REAL ME."