Sasuke raised an eyebrow at his teammate's appearance. He and Sakura were already at the entrance to the academy, only waiting for Naruto. The Hokage's son was approaching them now, and from what the two other genin could see, there was only one way to describe him.

"You look like shit, Naruto."

Naruto yawned and rubbed his puffy eyes. He had deep bags under each eye, his hair was more disheveled than usual, and when he was close enough, they very quickly realized that he'd neglected his deodorant. "You smell like it too," Sasuke appended to his original comment.

"Gah, shut up, teme." He pushed past them and into the academy. "I haven't slept more than a few hours in the last four days."

"You, not sleeping?" Sakura remarked, "You fall asleep almost as easily as Shikamaru."

"Yeah, well try sleeping when the bijū in your head works himself up into a frenzy and his chakra gives you nightmares," Naruto quipped. "It was a full moon last night, so Kurama was in an especially violent mood. Whatever. Let's just go inside."

The team did. As they walked through the hall, they were surprised to see Kakashi waiting for them just before the door to the room they were instructed to wait in. "Hello, my cute little students. I'm glad to see that you all decided to participate."

"Yeah? Well, why wouldn't we?" Sakura asked. "You said that this was practice for us."

Kakashi shrugged, then stuck his hands in his pockets. "Well, yes, but you should treat this as the real thing, because it is. You should definitely try your absolute to pass, if only for yourselves. I guess... show me that your lack of experience won't stop you from being excellent ninja."

Sasuke grunted, as if to say "that's obvious," and then smiled. "We'll make you proud."

"Yeah." Naruto stifled a yawn. "We'll try our best, but damn, Kurama-tousan chose a bad time to get all bitchy."

"Well, don't let the fox hold you back, Naruto. Sakura, Sasuke, don't let my little brother here pussy out because his tummy aches and he didn't get his nap time."

"Fuck you too, Onii-baka."

Kakashi stepped aside so that they could enter. With a flourish of his hand, he motioned them along. With nods, smiles, and a glare from the blond ninja, team seven entered the room.

They stopped almost immediately, realizing just how crowded it was. "Wow, that's a lot of ninja," Sakura remarked.

Ino, spotting them, marched over. "You ready, billboard-brow?"

"Hell yeah, Ino-pig! I'll crush you!"

Then Kiba and his team made their appearance. "Well, it looks like we're all here," the Inuzuka remarked. "But only team eight's going to be leaving here as chūnin. We'll kick all of your asses."

"Whatever you say, Kiba-kun," Naruto replied mockingly. "Shino-san," he said much more respectfully, nodding at the Aburame. "Hello, Hinata-chan. You excited to be here?"

Hinata, blush already forming on her face, nodded. "Yes. This is really exciting."

"Heh, she's crushing hard on you, Naruto. Lust and love," Kurama observed.

"So, does this mean you're willing to be more sociable now?" Naruto asked.

"Not really; she's just so light in this room full of stressed people that I couldn't help but comment. If you could just kill everyone else so I can go back to sleep, that would be great."

Naruto ignored the fox. "Hey, Hinata, I was feeling pretty cruddy this morning, but seeing you's helping me settle my stomach. I'm gonna stick by you for now. That ok?"

The blush spread all the way across her face and her finger poking intensified. Kiba, who had been listening, was not so pleased by Naruto's comments. He slid into the space between Naruto and Hinata. "Hey, go back to your own team, Naruto."

"Shut it, Kiba, or your fleas are going to hop into your mouth," Naruto retorted. His chakra, normally tightly hidden in public, loosened up, leaking a bit of his demonic killing intent into the air. It wasn't enough to actually scare anyone, but it did draw a lot of attention to the nine rookies.

"Hey, you lot should keep it down," a new voice announced as its owner approached. "This is a real tense environment, and your all doing yourselves no favors."

Sakura and Ino stopped their little argument, Sasuke, Chōji, and Shikamaru all stopped talking, and Shino plus the other rookies all looked over. "Who are you?" Sasuke asked.

"Kabuto Yakushi is my name," he answered. "You're the rookies here, so I'll let you in on a little information. There are ninja from several major and minor hidden villages here, and all of them want to be promoted. Most have already been in the chūnin exams before, and since they all want to win, they'll target anyone who stands out. Right now, that's you lot."

Realizing the truth in his words — they could see the other ninja staring at them — the rookies as a whole quieted down. Sakura asked, "So you've taken the exams before as well?"

Kabuto nodded. "This will be my seventh time. The exams are very difficult, but I've managed to gather a lot of information on the competition, so I've hardly been wasting my time. You want to see?"

He pulled out a deck of cards. Turning a card face up, he placed his finger on it and channeled chakra. One poof of chakra smoke later, the formerly blank card held a map with information on the distribution of the teams from each village. He explained what it was. "I've also got information on individuals, if you've got a description of them."

"Gaara, a Suna ninja," Naruto immediately requested. "Also, for shits and giggles, how about me, Naruto Namikaze."

"No fun; you know his name. That makes it too easy. Alright, Gaara..." He pulled out a card. "Suna ninja, age thirteen. His teammates are his older siblings, Kankurō and Temari. He's completed nine C-ranks and a B-rank, impressive for a genin. There's not a lot of other information, but get this: he's survived every mission without getting a single scratch."

"No way," Shikamaru muttered. "He did a B-rank without getting hurt?" Of course, that made Sakura and Sasuke share a knowing look, since they'd both been unhurt on an A-rank.

"Well, that makes sense. Shukaku's whole shtick is his sand defense and crushing his enemies into a fine red paste."

"Shukaku? I thought you said his name was Gaara," Ino commented.

"Well, Shukaku is the ichibi, sealed within Gaara," Naruto casually replied. "Bijū protect their hosts, because they don't want to go through the trouble of reforming themselves after their hosts die."

The news that Gaara was a jinchūriki sent waves through the genin, and not just the rookies. Anyone who was listening just realized that they were in the same room as a demon vessel, and that he was their competition.

Kabuto kept his face calm. "Interesting. How did you come by that information?"

"I met him earlier," Naruto replied. "Show me my card, and I'll tell you the rest of the story."

Kabuto blinked, not expecting that. "Alright. Now you've got me curious. Let's see, Naruto Namikaze... Here. Konoha Ninja, age thirteen, son of the Fourth Hokage. His teammates are Sasuke Uchiha and Sakura Haruno. He has twenty five D-ranks and one C-rank that was later upgraded to A-rank, due to misinformation. Kami, an A-rank? I also have that he was involved in the death of A-ranked missing-nin Zabuza Momochi."

"I just disarmed him for Kakashi-sensei," Naruto replied.

"Still, you survived," Kabuto exclaimed. "That's no small feat. Let's see, you had poor grades in the Academy due to your chronic absences, and you have a reputation as a prankster. There's also some rumors about you I have noted, if you want to hear them."

"Sure, go ahead."

"Well, according to what I've gathered, you are either the vessel for the Kyūbi no Kitsune, or you are the one rumored to be his son."

"You know, I always wondered where those rumors started," Naruto remarked. "I mean, Sasuke, do I even look like a fox?"

"Asks the shape-shifter," Sasuke replied, rolling his eyes. "No, but even your real faces are hardly good looking."

"Gah! I am not ugly! Sakura, back me up on this!" Naruto cried.

"Yeah, no. Naruto, you have tusks. Your body may be hot, but your face is not."

Naruto dramatically clutched his chest, then fell to his knees. "You wound me, Sakura. You cut me deep."

Kabuto, realizing that he had been forgotten, scooped up his cards and backed away. However, he still listened to the conversation to see if they'd say anything of interest. Unfortunately, he'd get nothing much, as Ibiki Morino chose that time to walk into the room.

"Listen up, maggots, it's time to begin the first phase of the Chūnin Exams: The Written Test!"

Naruto clutched his head, as did Sasuke. Both of them had quickly figured out that they were meant to cheat on the exam, one on his own and one with Kurama's help, but neither actually could. Without his sharingan awakened, Sasuke had the exact same skillset as Naruto when it came to cheating: nothing useful. Naruto had tried asking Kurama, and got this as his reply:

"I'm a several-thousand year old bijū who spent a large portion of his life in hell. Why would I know any of this? The last time I was human for any length of time, most of this math stuff hadn't been invented yet, I was and still am illiterate, and most of that history hadn't happened yet."

Thus, neither Sasuke nor Naruto had much luck cheating, that is, until Sasuke had an idea after having glanced back and seen Sakura diligently working. He raised his hand. "Procter-san, I have a question, but I do not wish to ask it aloud. May I come up to you to ask it?"

Ibiki shrugged. "I never said you couldn't. Make it quick."

Sasuke popped out of his chair and hurried up to the scarred jōnin. He whispered his question into the man's ear, earning a sudden, broad smile from him. "Yes. That is the case," Ibiki replied.

Sasuke nodded. Turning, he quickly marched back. But, instead of heading to his own seat, he went to Sakura. Snatching up her paper, he announced, "You have now caught me cheating one time." He looked at the paper and memorized the answers. Then, instead of returning to his seat or returning Sakura's finished test, he marched over to Naruto. Slapping the test on Naruto's desk, he said, "You have caught me cheating twice." Then and only then did he sit down at his own desk.

Ibiki then spoke. "Now, while that blatant act was technically within the rules, I'm going to have to say that any idiot who tries doing that again will lose all their remaining points." There was much groaning among the class, followed almost immediately by a flurry of people getting caught cheating, but Sasuke didn't care. He jotted down the answers he'd copied and then put his head down on his desk.

Eventually, it was time for the last question. Ibiki explained the rules, and then asked if anyone wanted to leave. Many did. However, Sakura was confident in her own abilities, and since Sasuke had only cost them four of their thirty points, she could do something to help them on the final question. For that, she did not raise her hand, nor did she ever seriously consider it.

Naruto had a similar thought as his pink haired teammate. Confident that he could get the information from her somehow, the final question's risk didn't bother him all that much. Besides, he figured that his father would eventually field promote him if he really was barred from the chūnin exams. So he too did not raise his hand. On the other hand, since he was fairly calm, he didn't have to psyche himself up by loudly proclaiming how he would take the challenge, or some such nonsense.

And so, people kept chickening out. When the flow finally stopped, Ibiki was pleased with how few were left. Then it was time for the final question. He pointed out the testing room's window. "True or false: the sky out there is blue."

"What the hell? What kind of a question is that?"

"The kind that guarantees you all pass," Ibiki replied.

Naruto tuned out the rest of the explanation as to why they'd passed. Having been trained by Kurama, Minato, and Kakashi, and having grown up spending so much time in the Hokage's office and listening to Minato talk about mission reports, all that stuff seemed like common sense to him.

He did, however, pay plenty of attention when the next proctor burst into the room. With a fishnet shirt clearly defining her boobs, absolutely nothing was left to the imagination. In fact, Naruto was paying her so much attention that he barely even noticed the sign she'd pinned up behind her.

"Listen up, maggots! I'm Tokubetsu Jōnin Anko Mitarashi, and I'm the proctor for your next exam!" She looked around the banner at Ibiki. "Nice job at shrinking the group."

"Thank you, Mitarashi-san."

She turned back towards the genin who were left. "But I'm going to cut the rest of you at least in half! Meet me tomorrow morning at training ground forty four, eight o'clock sharp! Dismissed!"

The forest of death, as it turned out, was a direct result of Kurama's short rampage. He'd spilled off such a vast amount of chakra, simply as a result of having been sealed for so long and then suddenly not being, that it had mutated the life around the village. Effectively, he had done to that forest what jūbi's mere existence had done to humanity: given it chakra. He'd been unsealed for nearly four day, all the while bleeding raw, toxic, corrupting chakra into the world.

The ninja, in the first few years, killed off most of what had formed. However, they kept the most interesting specimens in training ground forty four. Having had nearly a decade to breed out the weakest in a suddenly very hostile environment, the beasts that remained were quite monstrous.

"In here," Anko said, "the beasts, and even the plants, can use chakra. Not only has that made them bigger, stronger, and more hostile, but it's lead to things such as flaming-tigers and birds that launched wind jutsu. There's also a berry in there that acts as a natural chakra pill, but it looks similar to nightshade, meaning that even the seemingly helpful plants might actually be something that's trying to kill you. This is where you are going to be spending the next five days, fighting for a pair of these scrolls!" She held up the scrolls in question. "These are Heaven and Earth scrolls; you start with one, and you need to get the other. Take a pair to the tower within the time limit, and you pass. If you don't make it to the tower, you don't have both scrolls, or you open a scroll before you get there, you fail. Hey, at bare minimum, would at least one team try and finish? We don't want you all dying.

"Now, everyone please take one of these forms. They're wavers; if you die, your home village can't fault us after you sign this. Don't sign, and you fail. Do sign, and your team gets a scroll. And don't worry, you only need a single team member alive to make it to the tower to pass, and there are medics in the tower." She passed out the forms. They were signed, and handed back in. Her chūnin assistants started passing out the scrolls.

Meanwhile, Naruto realized that it was about game-time. Tapping the storage seal inked onto his chest, he swapped out his clothing and grew into them. While the pants were the same, he'd opted for something that was basically just a tight tube of white material that left everything above his pecs bare. He stretched his six arms, two forwards, two up, and two to the rear. He rolled his neck, and when his head finally returned to its normal position, it had its two extra faces.

Now, while there were many varied reactions to Naruto's form, the most interesting of which were those of the members of team Gai. Rock Lee immediately fixated on his arms and torso, specifically how muscular they looked, and then swore that he would train until his two arms were as strong as all six of Naruto's combined, and then appended to that additional training for his legs for thoroughness. Tenten immediately fixated on his back, or rather, the sword that was strapped there: the Kubikiribōchō. And Neji, he tried to ignore the transformed blond. He was successful, at least until he saw that his cousin, Hinata, had her byakugan active and was staring intently. So, thinking she saw something worth knowing about, he too activated his dōjutsu. He deactivated it a second later, and then sat down on the dirt.

"Neji?" Tenten asked. The Hyūga didn't answer. "Neji, what's wrong?"

"There are times where I wonder if I am to be fate's whipping boy. This is one of them."

Tenten grabbed the Hyūga boy by the collar and hoisted him back onto his feet. "Neji, no getting philosophical on me now!"

Over on the other side of the group of people, Anko remarked to a female chūnin that was assisting her, "I haven't seen a body altering jutsu like that since Orochimaru. Can't say I'm not impressed, though. Wonder if it's all real." Then, addressing the group as a whole, Anko said, "Ok, now if blondie here would stop showing off, we can begin. Each team got a number with their scroll. That's the gate you go in. The gates open in one hour, so get a move on!"

"Naruto, can you give us eyes in the sky?"

Naruto looked at the thick canopy just across the fence. "Yeah, but I don't know how useful it will be looking through this canopy."

"Can you hover, at least?"

"Yeah, why?"

"And how long?"

"Hours alone, indefinitely if Kurama-tousan helps me. Less if I have to fight as well as using only my own chakra."

Sasuke frowned. "I don't want you wasting your chakra, or using Kurama-san's chakra, since that will let everyone know where we are. Just have a clone follow above us by tree hopping; we'll fly once we get a scroll."

Naruto nodded, so he turned to Sakura. "When we start fighting, Naruto's going to go all out; there's no point him in holding back, since he recovers so incredibly fast. You and I, on the other hand, will fight extremely defensively until we can identify who's carrying the scroll. It will probably be the either enemy who fights the most defensively themselves, or the strongest fighter who has the most chance of fighting back. While Naruto and his clones keep the enemies under fire, we'll either look for an opportunity to knick the scroll, or a chance to trap them so we can search at our leisure. If they have an earth scroll, we take it and run. If it's a heaven, destroy it and then run. Got it?"

Sakura nodded.

Something occurred to Naruto as they entered. Seeing as they really were now in a life-or-death battle arena, he decided that this was the time to tell them. Not all of it, but the pertinent parts, at least. "Sasuke, Sakura, since we might have to kill, I should probably tell you this. I have an assassination jutsu."

"Wait, you do?" asked Sakura.

Naruto looked away, which was hard considering he had three faces covering practically every direction that he could look. "Yeah, it's pretty gruesome, and I can't make it not kill. That's why I don't talk about it. But the point is, it only destroys living tissue. It leaves clothing and anything a person's holding behind."

Sasuke replied, "Then use it when we fight foreign shinobi. If it doesn't damage the scroll, you can attack without the worry that you'll break it with your cannons. Is there a limit to how much you can use it?"

"No. Not at all."

"Then open with that, or whatever you need to first to make it work."

"I need to be able to stab them with my claws."

Sasuke and Sakura acknowledged that. The trio set off deeper into the woods. They traveled in silence, and as Sasuke had ordered, Naruto's clone followed above. It wasn't long until he declared, "Hostiles, four o'clock."

The three genin of team seven adjusted their course. Barely a minute later, they found the enemy team, a group of Ame ninja. Landing near the clearing, Sasuke and Sakura drew their weapons, while Naruto armed his arms.

But then, nothing happened. The Ame ninja didn't turn, or even react. In fact, they'd done nothing at all. They were perfectly still.

"Genjutsu?" Sakura silently mouthed. Sasuke drew a trio of kunai and threw them at the backs of the three ninja. With three solid thunks, the kunai embedded themselves in the backs of the Ame ninja. The ninja still didn't react; they didn't even fall over in pain or death, and they didn't poof like clones.

Moving closer, team seven tried to get a better look at the three motionless Ame genin. "I don't get it," Sakura said as she slowly walked forwards.

Then she tripped. "Gah! What the hell was that?"

Sasuke moved to help her up, but then he too tripped. "Something grabbed my leg!"

Then Naruto, who had immediately stopped once he realized that something was wrong, was swept off his feet by something invisible. "That hurt!"

"I can't move my legs!" Sakura exclaimed. Her leg was suddenly yanked to the side, towards the frozen Ame genin. "What the hell?" She was yanked again. "Ah! Fuck!"

Very, very quickly, the trio found themselves increasingly bound in place by some invisible entity. Worse, it seemed to have a particularly horrid tendency. "It's going up my dress!"

For the sake of the dignity of the members of team seven, let's just summarize the next few minutes as this:

The event ended up being traumatic enough to awaken Sasuke's sharingan with one tomoe in each eye. Upon getting his eyes, he discovered that their assailant was a genjutsu-using plant. Unfortunately, it was too late for team seven, as the age old interplay of tentacles and adolescents was in full swing. One exceedingly liberal use of fire chakra later — which would eventually be dubbed the "Nope! Jutsu" — and they were free.

Minus their anal virginities, of course.

A few hundred miles away, Haku frowned worriedly as Akuma collapsed to the ground, face red and panting. "Akuma-sama?!"

He moaned; strangely, it sounded like a moan of lust than one of pain. "I'm fine, Haku. I'll be... Oh Kami... fine. Oh, Kami, my ass!"

With a poof, Naruto withdrew three sets of spare clothes, which Sasuke and Sakura gratefully accepted. As they changed, Naruto spotted his teammate's new dōjutsu and said, "Sasuke, if I'd known that all you needed to activate your sharingan was a little stimulation, I would have offered to help ages ago!"

"Fuck you, Naruto!"

"The plant beat you to it!"

Sasuke punched him.

Hard.

In the face.

Repeatedly.

"I can't believe I just got deflowered by a flower."

The two boys froze and looked at Sakura. "No. She didn't..."

Naruto burst out laughing. "Sakura made a sex joke! I'm so proud!"

"Shut up, dobe!"

Sakura finished straightening herself out. "Ok, this never happened." She smiled brightly. Happily, as if she hadn't just been molested by a plant, she said, "And if any of you ever even thinks about talking about this, I will make your lives a living hell. Understood?"

The two boys saluted. "Yes, Sakura-sama!"

Sasuke rode on Naruto's clone's back, conserving his chakra as he and the clone scouted ahead. His sharingan was currently active, scanning back and forth for teams and alerting them to the presence of both enemy ninja and genjutsu-using beasts and plants. Meanwhile, the lighter Sakura rode on the real Naruto's back.

It was already the second day, and they had yet to see a single team. They'd seen the bodies of a few teams, but no live ones yet. They were tired, they were irritated, and they were hungry. They'd been running and fighting for a while now, but only against the inhabitants of the forest itself. Sakura and Sasuke were running low on chakra at this point; due to the lack of trustworthy edible plants and animals, they'd forgone almost all food and instead used a survival technique they'd learned in the academy: chakra nourishment. Functionally the reverse of the Akimichi clan's jutsu, it converted chakra into calories that their cells could use, allowing them to extend and conserve their physical strength at the cost of chakra. Naruto, being the utter powerhouse he was, could use it indefinitely, but Sakura and Sasuke could not. It would have been great if Naruto could use his father's chakra transfer jutsu, but since they weren't Uzumaki, his chakra would cook them alive from the inside out.

The chakra nourishment jutsu also didn't make them feel any less hungry. Worse, it gave them the energy to complain about it. Thus, it was a tired and irritated team seven that encountered another Ame squad. "Tell me these are real," Sakura begged.

"They are."

"Thank Kami."

They landed and fought hard. The battle was quick and vicious, with Sakura and Sasuke doing everything they could to drive the three Ame ninja towards Naruto and his clones, each of which had their claws out and glowing red. As he hit each one, the ninja would crumple to the ground, screaming in agony. When the last one fell, he dispelled his clones.

Naruto looked at his bloody claws. "Hmm... normally, it kills quicker and more painlessly than that. Maybe their larger chakra reserves are slowing it down." He ignored his teammates' expressions of disgusted confusion as he went and stabbed each of the three downed ninja again, injecting more of his corrosive chakra.

Then he looked at his teammates. "So, there's a second part to this, but... If you don't mind, I'd rather you two not watch this."

"What are you going to do?" Sakura asked, though she immediately turned away anyway. Sasuke frowned at his friend, but turned as well.

Naruto picked up all three of the dying ninja and brought them up to his three faces. "Just... getting rid of the bodies." He bit down on their necks. Even with the extra chakra he'd injected, their own chakra had slowed the digestion process down enough that their bones, while now extremely brittle, were still solid. Yet they were no match for the force of Naruto's chakra and mouth sucking them in, and with several loud crunches, their bones shattered.

Naruto gulped and chugged and crunched his way through their bodies. In the quiet forest, the process was disturbingly loud. Then, punctuated with a sigh and a small belch, Naruto finished his meal and let the former ninjas' clothing fall to the forest floor.

Sasuke turned around when the noises stopped; he wished he hadn't. With his sharingan active, he was forced to see the little details he might have otherwise overlooked. The clothes were obvious, but less so were the other features: the long tongues wiping away traces of blood; the drips of blood on Naruto's shirt; the way his body seemed to bulge in his clothing, as if he'd grown in the last minute; and the beastly, animalistic look of pure bliss on Naruto's face. But the worst of all were Naruto's eyes, for in them, Sasuke swore he could see an image of each of the three ninja that faded away as they were pulled into the black abyss of his pupils.

And for the first time, Sasuke began to understand just what it meant to have a demon as a teammate. "You ate them," he said matter-of-factly, if only because he had no idea what to think.

Slowly, oh so slowly, Naruto nodded. "I told you... back when we first became a team... that I liked eating people."

Sakura, who looked green, said, "I thought you were joking as usual."

"Why do you think I became a prankster?" Naruto smiled widely, but that turned out to be the wrong thing to do, as Sakura turned and dry heaved.

"Sakura..."

"Naruto, you have..." Sasuke pointed to his own teeth. Naruto closed that mouth and ran his tongue over his teeth, tasting the last of the blood and flesh that was there.

"At least you're taking this better than Sakura," Naruto remarked.

"I... Naruto, I have no idea what to think," Sasuke remarked. "You were leaking so much killing intent, and... oh boy." He took a deep breath. "Naruto, have you ever thought about eating me, Sakura, or Kakashi sensei?"

"In the way that you've probably wondered if you could kill us, yes. Would I do it? Hell no. As an acquaintance of mine said, you are all my precious people," he replied.

Sasuke sighed and then shook his head. "All right. Fine. But I'm never leaving home without instant ramen again, so I have something to feed you with if you ever decide I look tasty."

Naruto smiled again, though not wide enough to show his teeth save for the small protruding tusks. "That's fine, though you have to admit, you and Itachi look tasty to just about every teenaged girl in Konoha, and to several teenaged boys."

"Oh woe is me," Sasuke replied. His eyes fell on Sakura, who had recovered and was watching them intently. "Sakura, are you feeling better now?"

She said she was. "But what the hell, Naruto?" she added. "Some warning would be nice! 'Hey, you know how I'm not a human? Well it turns out that I like to eat humans!' Would that have been so hard?"

Naruto rubbed his head, embarrassed. "You two are literally the second humans ever to see that and live, and the first people I have ever told that I can do that. It's not exactly something I announce. Even Minato-tousan doesn't know that I can or that I do do that."

"How does the Hokage not know that you eat people?" asked the Uchiha, intrigued.

"Because I made myself look like a lazy prankster to disguise the fact that I was escaping the village to train and feed, and leaving a shadow clone behind," the demon explained. "I've got a hiraishin seal tattooed on my back; without annoying him into not jumping to me at every occasion, he might have realized that I was leaving a clone behind if he teleported and ended up near Suna."

"Hey, this is really interesting and all," Sakura said, holding up the earth scroll they needed, it having been pulled from the piles of clothing left behind, "but can we get to the tower? I really want to be out of this insane forest, and we can have this conversation later."

"Oh, sure, Sakura-chan," Naruto replied. "Just let me do something real quick." He gathered up the clothes and weapons and sealed them away into a scroll, a scroll that Sakura recognized.

She looked down at her own borrowed dress. She looked back up. "I'm wearing a dead girl's clothes, aren't I?"

Naruto stood up straight, then rubbed the back of his head. "In my defense, I washed it before I gave it to you."

Sakura shuddered.

"I think we're supposed to open the scrolls," Sakura said after they'd read the sign on the tower's wall. They were alone in the entrance room, with only that sign as a clue as to what they were supposed to do.

"You sure?" Naruto asked. "They said we'd fail if we opened them."

"I think Anko-san said we'd fail if we opened them before we got to the tower," the pink haired genin countered. "But we might have to open them now."

"If you say so. But..." Naruto didn't need to say what the 'but' was about; they were all thinking it: what if this was a trap. Still, with a silent look, they agreed to go ahead.

Then they opened the scrolls.

"Huh?"

A second later, smoke started billowing forth. "Throw them away!" Sasuke yelled. They did.

The scrolls landed and fully unrolled. Not even a second later, there was a small explosion of smoke. When it cleared, they saw someone they hadn't seen in a while. "Hey, good to see you again!"

"Iruka-sensei?!" team seven exclaimed.

"Yo! It looks like you three made it, and in good time, too. You're only the third team to arrive. But, ah, Naruto?" He looked up and down Naruto's body. "Why do you look like that?"

"Right... I never showed you my true face in the academy. This is what I really look like."

"Oh... Really? No. You've got to be joking."

Sasuke shook his head. "Unfortunately, no, this really is what he looks like."

"Seriously?!"

They were confined to the tower for the remainder of the tournament. It wasn't so bad; the team collectively was given medical treatment, food, a private bathroom, and a private room. They had to share the common area with the other teams as they arrived, but they were given time, in rotation, to train in the arena in the center.

It also gave them time to check out the teams that did actually make it. The Suna team with Gaara and his siblings on it had arrived first, with no casualties. Team Gai had arrived next, and other than Tenten's quickly healed wrist, they too were unharmed. The sole team from Sound had arrived on the fourth night, minus their female team member, and team ten had arrived ten minutes before midnight on the final day. Team eight also made it with two scrolls, but they were fifteen minutes past the deadline, and thus were disqualified. Another Konoha team had arrived a few minutes later, though they only had one scroll and thus couldn't have competed anyway.

The failed teams were given medical treatment and a hot meal as well, and then were allowed to sleep in the tower for the night. They'd be leaving in the morning with the rest of the ninja, after the winners of the second stage had been briefed

That morning, though, saw Naruto, in his demon form, passing the failed team in the hallway. The moment they saw him, the brown-haired boy held out his arms and stopped his teammates, and then positioned himself between them and Naruto.

"Kit, they are quite afraid of you," Kurama remarked. Naruto looked at them.

"Stay away from my team, demon!" the middle genin growled. "I saw what you did to that Ame team, and heard what you said. If you even think about touching my teammates, I'll kill you!"

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Naruto said, then turned and kept walking. Inside, however, he was cussing up a storm. Kurama had been asleep at the time, so he'd been completely unaware that there had been someone listening to him. He felt sick, and he knew that no matter what he did, they'd eventually spill his secret. "Hmm... but if you ever feel like talking, I'm always open to chatting with a good meal. Usually, I find that conversation goes well with something a little meatier than ramen."

"Hopefully, that will keep them quiet,"the demon thought to his father.

"Unfortunately, I don't think it will," Kurama replied. "It's a shame you can't make them disappear now; people would notice. If we were only still in the forest..."

Naruto made his way down to the arena, where his teammates and the other passed genin were gathering. Once there, he joined his friends as they waited for their briefing on the next task.

The Hokage came out, and with a little nod to the gathered genin, and then another to the chūnin and jōnin instructors, he took his place at the center of the small stage. A jōnin stepped forwards and began to speak. "My name is Hayate Gekkō, and I am the *cough* proctor of the third exam. That exam will be a one-on-one tournament, to be held in one month in the Konoha arena. We will be deciding the first match ups now, but before that, if anyone wishes to drop out, now's your chance. *Cough* Anyone? No. Then there we will divide you up now. Since there are fourteen of you, there will be seven matches in the first round. The winners will be paired up for the next round, and there there will be a three-way fight from the winners of fights five, six, and seven. The winner of the three-way will *cough* receive a bye while the winners of the two pair fights will fight in round three. Then, of course, the semi-finalists will fight in round four. Now, come and draw your numbers."

Then the genin did. When Naruto reached in, he pulled out a number three. He looked up at the screen in the center of the room, and saw that he was not eligible to receive a bye.

Once the numbers had been recorded, Hayate spoke again. "The tournament is as follows: Fight one: Sakura Haruno vs. Kankurō of the Desert. Fight two: Sasuke Uchiha vs. Chōji Akimichi. Fight three: Naruto Namikaze vs. Zaku Abumi. Fight four: Ino Yamanaka vs. Temari of the Desert. For the remaining fights, examinees will be fighting for the slot in the round two three-way fight. Fight five: Shikamaru Nara vs. Neji Hyūga. Fight six: Rock Lee vs. Dosu Kinta. And for fight seven: Tenten vs. Gaara of the Desert. *Cough* Now, before you all leave to train for the month, Hokage-sama has something to say."

Minato stepped forwards and took the Tokubetsu Jōnin's place. "Yes. As you all know, I am Minato Namikaze, the Fourth Hokage of Konohagakure. I am pleased to welcome you to the final round of the chūnin exams. Now, not to speak ill of the dead, but my late predecessor would have probably given you some long-winded speech about how the chūnin exams are a replacement for war, and all that. Instead, I'll just get to the point: train hard, do your villages and yourselves proud, invite your friends and family to cheer you on, and good luck!" Then, he stepped back.

"Dismissed!" Hayate declared.

Faster than most could blink, Minato was at his son's side grinning like a loon. "I knew you could do it! Good job Naruto, Sakura-chan, and Sasuke-kun. I'm proud of all three of you for making it this far." He held out his hand. "Here, want to go get some breakfast? My treat."

Accepting, the three chūnin candidates grabbed his hand. They vanished in a flash.