Author's Notes:

- Lost Girl is created by Michelle Lovretta and produced by Prodigy Pictures in association with Shaw Media. Some conversations are taken from 3x10 – I'm not claiming them as my own.

- Thanks to my Beta, LostGirlz for her help; to bluebunnyRafi for information on Brazil's culture; and to T for all her recommendations and never ending patience with me.

Chapter 16 – "A Difficult Conversation"

Lauren woke up exhausted after tossing and turning all night. Now that she was awake, her body reminded her of all her aches and pains, especially her left arm which throbbed under the sterile cloth. As tempted as she was to remove the bandages, she knew that she had to allow the medicinal balm time to repair and regenerate the damaged skin and tissue. An injury such as hers would normally take at least a year to heal but with Fae medicine at her finger tips, her arm would be completely healed within a month or two. After all this time with the Fae, Lauren was still amazed by their scientific advancements over modern human medicine.

Once showered and changed, Lauren bypassed the dining hall knowing that she didn't have much of an appetite and went directly to the ICU. There she found the Ignis sleeping peacefully despite her medically imposed coma. A quick review of Serena's chart showed that all her vitals were stable and according to the nurse's notes, she had an uneventful night.

The blonde sat next to the bed and gently held her friend's hand as she watched her and contemplated how strange life was. In Toronto, she and Serena worked together two or three times at the most but were never social or familiar with one another, however due to circumstances, they were working together in Brazil and had become friends. Of all the Fae that Lauren could have struck a friendship with, Serena was not one that she would've thought would be at the top of the list. Yet they were. Despite her stoic, controlled and regimented nature, the Ignis was very just, loyal, patient and understanding and most importantly, she never treated Lauren differently because she was human, which was something that the blonde respected and liked about Serena.

Lauren owed Serena her life - she and Nayara would not have made it through the jungle past their attackers if it weren't for her. And even though she and Nayara did everything they could for her medically, Lauren was concerned that they weren't able to stop the internal bleeding in time. Unfortunately, all she or anyone could do was wait to see if the Ignis would wake up and what condition she would be in once she did.

After sitting with Serena for awhile, Lauren made her way to the lab. It was still very early in the morning so she was surprised to discover that she wasn't the first one there.

"Nay, what are you doing here so early?"

The Empath looked up tiredly from her desk. "I couldn't sleep… too much on my mind. You?"

The blonde made her way into her office, "Same. I had a restless sleep."

Nayara stood up and stretched her muscles which resulted in some of her joints to pop loudly. Lauren raised an eyebrow and smirked which caused the brunette to look at her sheepishly. "What? I'm allowed to be a bit creaky. I am over 2,200 years old after all."

"I suppose. You do bring new meaning to the term senior citizen." She said with a big grin on her face.

"Don't you know that you should be respectful of your elders?" Nayara mock pouted as she walked around and leaned against the front of her desk.

"I am respectful. I'm agreeing with you. Besides, you look amazing for an old lady." The blonde replied with a twinkle in her eyes.

Her friend smiled in return and that was when Lauren noticed the dark circles under her beautiful, blue eyes. "How long have you been here?" she asked with concern in her voice.

"All night but before you say anything, I had a nap on the couch." The brunette's head indicated to the leather couch in the far corner of her office. "It's quite comfortable."

Lauren sighed as she stepped closer to her friend and gently tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "Do I need to regurgitate the same advice that you gave me about being a workaholic?"

"No need. I may be old but my memory is still in tact."

They both chuckled before allowing the silence to engulf them. Lauren softly cleared her throat. "I owe you an apology."

"For what?" Nayara replied perplexed.

"Yesterday. I didn't mean to be insensitive talking about Bo especially the way things are between us. I…. her being here just really caught me off guard." The blonde admitted. "But that doesn't excuse my being inconsiderate to your feelings."

The Empath smiled warmly at her friend and shook her head. "You don't need to apologize but I do appreciate it. I'm a big girl Lauren. I've had a long time to contemplate life and who I am. I am very much in tune to my emotions and I have learned to respect all of life's lessons."

Standing up, Nayara softly grasped Lauren's hands and peered directly into her eyes so that she would be able to see and feel the honesty of her words. "There is a connection between us that I know that we can't explore and even though I'm disappointed that we cannot, I've accepted it."

She gently squeezed Lauren's hands and smiled but her eyes were filled with a sadness associated with a lifetime of experience. "Life has a way of happening; of opening our eyes to new possibilities and experiences; and of introducing people that enrich our lives whether it's for a reason, a season or a lifetime. I may be disappointed that we can't pursue things romantically but that doesn't detract from the fact that I absolutely cherish our friendship; that I want to help and support you in any way possible; and that I want for us to continue being a part of each other's lives."

Lauren didn't know what to say; she was moved beyond words and pulled the Empath into a tight embrace. After a few moments she gave Nayara a gentle squeeze before slowly moving out of her arms and linking their hands together. Looking into the brunette's eyes, her voice was filled with emotion, "I'm sorry that my circumstances stopped us from trying for something more but know that I am incredibly thankful to have you in my life. You gave me hope when I had none left and you've enriched my life with your friendship which is something that I have been without for a very long time. You mean more to me than you could ever imagine Nay and your friendship is something that I cannot do without."

Lauren's admission touched Nayara. She hadn't let anyone into her life since she lost her family but knowing that she made an impact upon someone's life and that they valued and cared for her for who she was, made her realize how much she had missed being important to someone. The Empath never thought she would've been able to move on from the loss of her husband and child but in that moment, she knew that she was ready and that she wanted to matter to someone.

Lauren smiled softly at her friend as she shook her head. "Though I really don't know how you can be so zen and understanding about everything."

Nayara chuckled sadly, "It's taken me a long time and many lessons to get here." The Empath looked down at how comfortably their hands fit together before returning her gaze to Lauren's eyes. "I just want you to be happy Lauren."

"I want that for you too Nay." The blonde replied, her voice heavy with emotion.

The Empath smiled sadly. "Well, here's hoping that we both will find happiness."

Both women looked at each other in a comfortable silence; the acceptance of their decision communicated with just a look. After a few moments, Nayara removed her hands and moved back to lean against her desk. "So, I have some good news!"

"Oh, what?" Lauren asked, thankful for the respite from their emotion-filled conversation.

"I received word from the Base Camp late last night. All the samples that we extracted yesterday arrived intact and were not compromised in any way!"

Lauren was pleasantly shocked. "After everything? That's amazing!"

"I know! All our samples, including yesterday's are en route and should be here in a couple of hours." The Empath smiled brightly. "We're going to have a very busy day."

The blonde smiled at the wonderful news. These samples could hold the answer that they were looking for and she couldn't wait to start conducting tests. "How about we get some breakfast? We both haven't had anything to eat and we'll need our energy for the amount of work that we have cut out for us today." Lauren said rationally.

Nayara nodded her concurrence. They would definitely have a busy day ahead of them.

Light Fae Compound (early evening)

Lauren and Nayara checked in on Serena after their long day in the lab and then went to the dining hall for supper. They had spent all day working alongside the lab technicians running tests to ensure that every single sample was processed. It was exhausting, monotonous work but through team work, they were able to get everything completed and the results would be ready in the morning. Now they had the daunting task of waiting and they both knew that they had to prepare themselves. One way or another, they would know if they were on a wild goose chase or if they had found the cause of the epidemic.

Both women were exhausted but their day was far from over as they walked down the hallway.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" the blonde asked the Empath as they came to a halt.

"I'm sure. I wouldn't have offered otherwise." Nayara replied with a smile. "Are you ready?" she asked as she gave Lauren's shoulder a reassuring squeeze.

She gave a thin smile. "Not really but I have to be." Exhaling, Lauren straightened her posture and prepared herself before knocking on the door in front of her.

A few seconds later they heard someone running and an 'I got it' before the door was whipped open. "Hot Pants?!" the Goth said in an almost whisper from shock, her hand gripping the door.

"Hello Kenzi." Lauren said hesitantly; she wasn't sure what type of welcome she would receive as she waited for the young woman's reaction. She realized that this was the first time that she was acknowledging the Goth even though they had seen each other yesterday under not-so-wonderful circumstances.

Lauren didn't have to wait very long as the petite woman swiftly engulfed her in her arms. "I'm so glad that you're not dead." She said softly as she squeezed the blonde tighter, not realizing how much she had missed the doctor until now.

Pulling away gently, Kenzi's smile disappeared and was replaced with a frown as she punched Lauren in her good shoulder.

"Owww!" the blonde exclaimed as she rubbed her arm.

"That's for running off and almost getting yourself killed!" she said in a berating tone before stepping aside and letting the two women into Bo's apartment.

"It's good to see you too Kenzi." Lauren said genuinely as she smiled at the young woman.

"Hey Kenz, was that the door?" Bo was walking in from the Goth's adjoining apartment and stopped in her tracks upon seeing the blonde. "Lauren?" she said surprised, not expecting to see her so soon after their rocky reunion.

"Hi Bo." The blonde said softly as she returned the Succubus' gentle yet anxious gaze.

An awkward silence filled the room as Bo and Lauren looked at each other not knowing what to say.

Kenzi, normally the one to break the tension with a snappy, sarcastic comment, showed restraint as she nervously observed the Succubus' eyes dart between Lauren and her friend.

While everyone was feeling the awkward tension in the room, the Empath dropped her shields and was able to sense Bo's suppressed emotions shift from surprise and joy before switching to nervousness and then finally settling on a mix of jealousy, frustration and anger. Despite knowing that these feelings were directed towards her, Nayara did not react as she had anticipated this emotional reception.

Bo, meanwhile, was doing everything imaginable to stay calm; channelling her anger into her clenched fists and digging her fingernails into her palms so that her jealousy and inner Succubus wouldn't surface.

Lauren finally found her voice and gently said, "Bo; Kenzi, I'd like to introduce you to Dr. Hernandez. She's the Senior Medical Officer here."

"Please, any friend of Lauren's can call me Nayara." The Empath flashed her genuine warm smile at the two women, ignoring the icy glares that they were giving her.

Nayara understood that both women didn't trust or like her and didn't fault them for feeling that way. Being attuned to emotions, it was always easy for her to manage conflict and gracefully manoeuvre through discord by adapting her responses to match that of the personalities that she encountered. In so doing, she was always able to charm her opponents and deflate any awkward or tense situation.

Nayara turned her attention to the Goth. "Kenzi, I know that Carlos gave you a tour of the compound when you arrived but there's a section that I know that you didn't get to see and I think you'd be interested in it."

"What's that?" Kenzi asked in a disinterested tone; what she really wanted to know was why Nayara was there if Bo and Lauren were going to have their talk.

"Our bar, 'Néctar'. There's a section of the dining hall that is kept closed during the day but it opens up after 8 P.M. to serve alcohol. It's a good place to unwind, have a few drinks, play darts or pool and listen to music."

Kenzi didn't respond, instead she just quietly stared at her. The Empath, anticipating the cold shoulder treatment, wasn't deterred and continued to be friendly. "I was told that you were a connoisseur of beverages and seeing that you just arrived in Brazil, I thought that you may be interested in trying my country's national cocktail, Caipirinha."

The Goth put up her hand as a look of disgust appeared on her face. "A Ca-piranha? No thanks! I don't drink anything fishy or that has sharp, pointy teeth in it."

Nayara chuckled at the petite woman; she could see the feisty spirit that Lauren spoke of. "It's pronounced ka-pur-een-ya. It's made with Cachaça, which is a distilled spirit made only in Brazil; it is similar to Rum but it's made from sugar cane juice, not piranhas. The Cachaça is mixed with fresh limes, sugar and ice. It is a very popular drink here in Brazil and quite delicious."

The Goth's curiosity peaked slightly. "Similar to Rum, huh?"

"Yes but better!" the Empath said with a smile. "I would be happy to treat you to an evening of Brazil's culture. Aside from our Carnaval, Brazil is well known for its food and alcohol."

It finally dawned on Kenzi that Nayara was there to get her out of the apartment so that the two women could talk in private. She glanced at Bo who gave a slight nod of her head, letting her know that it was okay. The Goth figured she would play along and also try to learn a thing or two about this woman in the process. "Treat you say?" Kenzi arched her eyebrow. "Well, I do love being treated and especially when cocktails are involved."

"You won't be disappointed." Nayara promised.

"What the hell, lets try this Caprihorn!" The Goth waved her hand in the air as she started to walk out the door. "Later Hot Pants. Don't wait up, Succubum!"

Nayara gave Lauren a subtle nod before stepping out of the apartment with Kenzi. "It was nice meeting you Bo. Boa noite. Good night to you both."

The door clicked shut behind the two women, leaving Bo and Lauren alone in the apartment with an awkward silence.

"Uh, please have a seat. Make yourself comfortable." Bo offered. Lauren made her way to the couch and sat down on the far end, trying to calm her nerves. Bo followed and was in the process of sitting when she quickly changed her mind and stood back up. "Umm, would you like something to drink? I have water and juice." The brunette was uncharacteristically nervous and was trying to collect herself as she continued to ramble. "Fruit juices must be popular in Brazil because I have a variety stocked in the fridge."

Lauren offered a thin smile; her nerves had her stomach doing somersaults. "Yes and they are all quite delicious but water is fine, thanks."

Bo wasted no time heading into the kitchen, thankful for the slight reprieve so that she could compose herself. Taking a couple deep breaths to calm down, she returned a short while later with a glass of water, placing it on the coffee table in front of Lauren before sitting down on the opposite end of the couch.

The brunette didn't know how to start so she decided to begin with some small talk. "How's your arm?"

Lauren looked down at her arm and then back up, "It's incredibly sore but I'm lucky to still have it, so I'm not complaining."

"You almost lost your arm?!" Bo said alarmed.

The blonde nodded. "Yes but Fae science is a wondrous thing. And if it weren't for Serena - the woman in ICU - things would've been a lot worse. Nayara and I could've been seriously hurt or killed. Serena saved us both."

Bo ignored the 'Nayara and I' comment and maintained her calm exterior. "All Kenzi and I were told was that you and your team were attacked and there were some fatalities. I didn't even know if you were alive until I walked into the hospital room and saw Serena lying there. It was the longest day of my life waiting to find out if you were alive or not."

The doctor wasn't sure what to say, she was so preoccupied with the attack, her injuries and keeping Serena alive that she didn't have much time to think about how Bo and Kenzi were affected by it all.

The brunette sensed Lauren's hesitancy and continued to speak. "I'm just thankful that you're okay." Bo was fighting against every fibre of her being, wanting so much to reach out and hold Lauren in her arms but she knew that it was too soon for physical contact even in the form of a comforting hug.

Lauren wanted Bo to just start talking but she knew that this was difficult for them both. Instead of prompting her to begin, she waited for her to speak, drinking some water in an attempt to stay patient and calm.

Bo knew that this would probably be her only opportunity to apologize and to try and make things right. She was nervous as she didn't want to mess things up more than they already were and knew that she had to be honest and patient.

Bo looked at the blonde sadly, regret evident in her eyes. "I am so sorry Lauren. I never meant to hurt you. I haven't stopped thinking about you these past 49 days that you've been away. You've filled my thoughts and my heart and I can't forgive myself for how much I hurt you…. I was a horrible girlfriend. I didn't realize it then but I do now. You are the most important person in my life and I should've shown you how much I love you and how important you are to me but instead I ended up neglecting you and our relationship."

Bo took a deep breath and wrung her fingers together. "I should've been honest with you about Dyson and Tamsin. I should've told you that I suspected that Dyson had his love back but I wasn't sure and didn't want to upset you in case I was wrong. It wasn't until my Dawning when he told me – that's when I knew for certain; and then he died; and everything went to shit shortly thereafter."

She paused to look for a reaction from Lauren but the blonde sat expressionless in front of her. Gathering the rest of her courage, she continued in an adamant tone. "With regards to Tamsin, I swear I didn't cheat on you with her. She kissed me during my trial in Brazenwood and not the other way around. It was unexpected and it took me by surprise and it meant nothing to me. I didn't say anything to you as I knew you were already upset that I had missed your award ceremony and I was afraid that you would be even more upset and disappointed in me if I told you."

Bo looked deep into Lauren's eyes and said sincerely, "I cannot apologize enough but if you give me a chance, I promise that I will spend every moment of my life making it up to you."

It was the most that Bo had ever said at any one time. Both women sat there looking at each other with Lauren quietly thinking over everything that was just said. The silence was deafening and the lack of reaction from Lauren had Bo growing more and more anxious. "Please say something." Bo implored.

The blonde closed her eyes and took a breath before opening her eyes again. "You've apologized and explained yourself and now what, that's supposed to make everything okay?"

"No, it doesn't make everything okay but I want you to know that I'm aware of where I screwed up and I won't make the same mistakes again. I've changed – not just emotionally but also physically since my Dawning - and a lot of what happened back then happened because of my Dawning so a lot of our previous problems don't exist any more." Bo replied.

Lauren was started to get irritated; she stood up and took a couple of steps away from the couch. "Previous problems like Dyson? Did his love just disappear again? Will I always have to wonder if you will go back to him now that he has his love back or if you need to heal?"

Bo realized that she expressed herself poorly as she could see the tension in the blonde; standing up she tried to bridge the physical distance between them. "No! Dyson is not even in the picture. He never was. I love you! I'm in love with you Lauren. I told him that you are the only one I want to be with and that all he and I could ever be was friends. And when I promised you that I would never heal with him again, I meant it and I've kept that promise – I haven't been with him."

Lauren was shocked to hear that Bo told Dyson that she chose her over him but she didn't let it show, instead she pressed further. "And he's accepted that you choose a human over him, an alpha wolf?"

The brunette remained calm and tried to keep her voice even; she knew that Lauren was pushing but if they both got upset, this conversation would end badly. "He has no choice but to accept it. You are the one that I'm in love with, Lauren. I don't want to be with anyone else."

Lauren didn't react. She was moved by Bo's admission and she did get some satisfaction that Bo picked her over Dyson but she had to stay focused as she knew that this would be the only time to get the answers to all the questions that plagued her. "And Tamsin?"

"I've told her that I am not interested in her – that I never have been and that you are the only person I want to be with. It's always been you, Lauren." Bo replied honestly.

"You say that it's only ever been me but when did you make this declaration of love to Dyson and Tamsin?" Lauren asked pointedly.

"Three weeks ago."

"I see. So, I had to be out of your life before you would stand up for our relationship then? If I had never left, would you have said anything to them?" Lauren demanded.

"I don't know, Lauren. To be honest, I didn't think I had to say anything to anyone as I thought it was obvious how strongly I felt for you. I think where I failed was that I didn't say it to you enough or show you more. Maybe if I didn't give you a reason to doubt us, this wouldn't have been an issue." Bo said with regret.

Lauren shook her head. "Maybe but I trusted you and I trusted what we had. Your telling me now that you chose me over Dyson and Tamsin doesn't take away the fact that you lied to me repeatedly; you didn't respect me or our relationship because if you did, you would've been honest with me in the first place. I don't know if I can trust you again."

Bo flinched at those words. She stepped closer; her hands outstretched; and her voice filled with sadness. "I know that I've lost your trust and I regret it every day. I was so scared that telling you the truth would hurt and disappoint you but instead not telling you only made things worse. Now we are both paying the price for my cowardice. I promise that I will always be honest with you Lauren. I know that you may not believe that but I will do whatever it takes to earn back your trust and I won't do anything to jeopardize that."

The blonde took a deep breath and asked another question that had been on her mind. "You missed my award ceremony. Why?"

"I was in the midst of doing my trial. I didn't even know that I was in it until it had started and then I was stuck. I couldn't get out of it until it was completed. I honestly thought I could finish it and get to you in time for your award ceremony. I really wanted to celebrate with you and see you get your award." Bo said genuinely.

"Why couldn't you have been honest with me and told me what was happening? Did you think I wouldn't understand?"

Bo waved her hands in exasperation. "That's the problem - I knew you would! I didn't want you to have to understand anything. I just wanted to be there for you and I thought that I could do it all – do my trial and be at your award ceremony. I thought that if I could finish on time, there would be no need for you to be understanding. I tried to rush through it but I still couldn't finish in time and I only disappointed us both."

"Do you even know why that award was so important to me?" Lauren asked; the hurt and disappointment evident in her eyes. "It was an acknowledgement of my efforts and success by my peers and it had nothing to do with the Fae. It was something that I was proud of and I was extremely happy and excited about it. For a brief moment, it represented normalcy in a life that would never be normal and also, a career that could've been if I never went to the Congo. All I wanted was to share this wonderful, most likely never repeatable moment, with you - the person that mattered to me the most. I wanted you to be proud of me and to celebrate with me. But your needs came first yet again and instead a stranger - a fellow scientist - recognized how important it was to me when my own girlfriend didn't."

"But I did know that it was important to you Lauren!" Bo insisted. "I may not have known all that it represented for you but I knew that you were extremely proud and excited about it and I was happy for you. I truly regret missing your ceremony and for not letting you know how proud I felt and showing everyone how proud I am of you." She admitted genuinely.

The blonde sighed, her voice almost resigned. "Then why did you say what you said to me? That I only dealt with Petri dishes."

Bo didn't know how to explain that because she didn't understand it herself. "I honestly don't know. One minute I was walking into Brazenwood and the next thing I knew, I felt as if I had drunk Kenzi under the table twice. The only thing I can think of is that it was all part of my trial."

Lauren's anger flared. "It sounds like just another excuse Bo, you still said it!" She spat out disbelievingly. "I was so upset that you thought so little of me and what I do. Did you forget who made your injections to curb your hunger; who healed Kenzi after she ate the contaminated Aswang soup; who stopped the Dijeiene spider; and who produced the Naga Venom to stop the Garuda? Did none of that matter? Despite all of that, my worth still boiled down to Petri dishes. That statement told me that you didn't know a single thing about what I do and that you don't respect my abilities even though it is the reason why I'm a slave for the Light. They at least appreciate what I do."

"Of course everything you've done matters!" Bo said raising her voice. Taking a breath to calm down, she continued in a softer tone. "I have always appreciated what you have done for me ever since I learned that I was Fae. Your brilliant mind has helped Kenzi and I and the Fae more times that I can count. You are an amazing scientist and doctor and you love and take great pride in your work. I would never intentionally belittle you and what you do. I really don't know why I said what I said but I didn't mean it Lauren. All I can do is apologize for saying it. I know that I'm sounding like a broken record but I didn't mean to hurt you and I should've let you know how grateful I am for all that you've done for me."

Lauren glanced up at the ceiling as she ran her hands through her hair before returning her gaze back to Bo; her voice tired. "You took me for granted. You were my girlfriend. You were the only person I trusted and who I thought believed in me and wanted to be with me for me and not what I could do or offer. But all I did was give more and more of myself for our relationship and you took it all without a second glance."

Bo couldn't deny it; her shoulders slumped. "You're right." She said embarrassed. "I was so self-involved that I didn't see how selfish I was being. I know that I made our relationship very one-sided and you compromised more than you should have – that was never my intention. I wanted us to be partners in every sense."

The brunette let out a loud sigh. "You were always so understanding and I took what you said at face value – that everything was fine; that you were fine. I should've known that you were just putting me ahead of yourself because you always do that. I take full responsibility for my selfishness – that's on me; but I never asked you to constantly put my needs ahead of your own."

Lauren was surprised by Bo's admission as well as for her calling her out on her own issues. She remained silent as she mulled over what was said.

"No, you didn't. That was my choice." She said softly. "I've put others ahead of myself for the last six years; it's engrained in me. But when I was with you, I wanted you to be happy and I wanted to help you in every way even if it was to my detriment. It's not that I didn't value myself but I should've said something… and I didn't."

The brunette was not expecting Lauren to accept responsibility for her actions and it caught her off guard but more so, it was a relief to know that she was being open to what was being said instead of only being angry. "I really wish you did Lauren." She said gently.

"I read sexual energy not minds. I can't know how you are feeling if you don't tell me and you never told me how you felt or what was bothering you. There were some things that I was absolutely clueless about and should've known but there was a lot that I didn't know and only learnt about in your letter. Things like what it meant for you to be a slave to the Fae and what you had to give up; how much your award meant to you; and what Dyson represented for you. I agree that I'm responsible for the things that I was aware of and should've known better about but how can I be blamed for what I didn't know?"

Lauren quietly considered Bo's words. "You're right; I should've told you how I felt... It was difficult because you were the only person that never viewed or treated me as a slave. When I was with you, I felt free, normal and wanted; and I just wanted to enjoy what we had without the reminder of what I was."

She let out a loud sigh before continuing with her admission. "And as much as I've let you in, there were some things that I just didn't talk about. It's not that I didn't trust you; it's just what I had to do to survive. When I first started with the Fae I realized that in order to get through the rest of my segregated life, I had to say goodbye to my past and who I was. Remembering my life before the Congo only made living the rest of my life with the Fae more difficult and torturous so I had to let go of who I was. I've been living like this for the past six years Bo, sadly, it's become routine."

The blonde released another loud sigh. "As for Dyson… I was embarrassed and insecure because of all the things he could offer you that I couldn't. I know that I let my insecurity dictate a lot of my reactions but I can't change how I feel, especially since… well, everything that we've just talked about."

The brunette tried to not be accusatory and kept a gentle tone. "I wish that you had told me Lauren. It would've given me a better understanding of things and maybe I might've been less of an ass." They both smiled sadly at Bo's comment.

"I guess we're not so great at communicating as we thought huh?" the brunette said recognizing both their shortcomings.

Lauren nodded her head in agreement. "I guess not."

The blonde paused to decide whether she should make this admission and decided that she would in the spirit of honesty and in light of their poor communication in the past. It was a difficult thing to admit without seeming clingy even though she wasn't but she had to be honest for both Bo and herself. Gathering herself, she spoke in a soft tone. "Bo, I lost myself in you and in our relationship. You were the only good thing in my life and that's a lot of pressure to put on someone. I tried not to place that responsibility on you but it was difficult not to - you gave me something to look forward to and for the first time in six years, I had expectations and hope. Even after Nadia, our relationship was the only thing keeping me together and when Tamsin told me that you kissed, implying that you cheated, I just couldn't continue functioning the way that I was. I couldn't function being so angry and disappointed in the fact that I allowed myself to have expectations and that you gave me hope for something better. I was just tired of fighting and surviving and I just couldn't continue being in Toronto when I felt that I had nothing to look forward to."

Bo was emotionally drained but had to make one last attempt to get through to Lauren. "Lauren, you are everything to me and I took you for granted. I was inconsiderate and selfish and you deserved better than that. I know that I've lost your love and trust and I've hurt you deeply but if you give me a chance, I promise that I will make it up to you. You will never doubt how much I love you and how special you are to me."

The brunette's plea was met with silence but she pressed on, needing to know where they stood. "Where does this leave us?"

Lauren shook her head. "I don't know Bo. As difficult as this was, I'm glad that we both have a better understanding of each other now but so much has happened between us. I'm not the same person that I was when we were together. I've changed and things that I was willing to do and accept before, I won't now. I can't go back to how things were."

Bo understood as she had gone through her share of eye opening experiences. "I've changed too and I don't want things to go back the way they were either. I want you to be happy and to feel amazing. I want you to feel the way that I feel whenever I'm with you. Just tell me what you need babe. I'll do anything."

Up until now, Lauren was successful at keeping her tears at bay but now they were spilling from her eyes. "I'm so sorry Bo. But I think that I'm always going to be asking from you more than you can give to me." She paused to wipe her tear stained cheeks and to collect her thoughts. "Even though we've put everything out on the table, it doesn't change the fact that you're a Succubus and I'm human; and that I need to be able to function without needing you or anyone else to make me happy. I need time to figure things out. I don't expect you to wait as I understand that you have to do what is best for you, just as I'm trying to do what is best for me. All I can promise you right now is a clean slate and friendship. I know that it's not what you want but it's all I am able to offer at this moment."

Bo's eyes were brimming with tears. This was what she had feared would happen – that Lauren wouldn't want to give their relationship another chance but at least there was a silver lining - she was willing to start over even if it only meant as friends. Bo would take hope from that even though she felt her heart crumble. "I understand. I've always valued your friendship Lauren and I'm glad that I haven't lost that. You take all the time that you need. I'm not going anywhere."

Lauren nodded and wiped away her tears. She was too emotionally and physically exhausted to talk any more. "I should go. It's been a long day and I'm sure we both need to absorb everything that we discussed."

Bo nodded sadly. "Alright. Is… is it okay for me to stop by the lab tomorrow? I'd like to see what you do and what you're working on." She asked hesitantly, unsure if she was asking too much too soon.

The blonde smiled sadly, "I'd like that. Good night Bo."

"Goodnight Lauren." Bo watched Lauren leave the apartment before making her way back to the couch and collapsing; her tears running freely down her cheeks. She didn't think her heart could hurt this much again but at least this time there was some hope. She wouldn't waste this second chance with Lauren.

TBC

Author's Notes:

- This chapter was difficult to write for a variety of reasons but mainly in trying to find the right balance for both Lauren and Bo with their discussion; and to ensure that their issues were addressed fairly and realistically.

- Thank you to everyone reading, following, favoriting and taking the time to leave a review / comment.