Author's Notes:
I'd like to start by saying a huge thank you for your support and understanding… especially to all those who were incredibly thoughtful and sent PM's wishing me well.
Unfortunately my situation hasn't changed but whenever I had a free moment, I was able to put my thoughts down. It took a while but this is the end result. I hope you enjoy.
This is un-Beta'd so all mistakes are my own. Special thanks to FireArcade for her helpful and greatly appreciated 'brain dump'.
Chapter 19 – "One Step Forward"
Bo's apt (late morning)
Bo walked into her apartment with a smile on her face, a cup of coffee in one hand and a bagel in the other for Kenzi who was most likely still asleep. She had spent the last couple of days having breakfast and supper with Lauren, as well as planned impromptu check in's at the lab. The Succubus was ecstatic that she and Lauren were spending time together and that they were making serious headway with their friendship.
Bo closed the door behind her. "Yo, Kenz!" she yelled.
There was no response for a while before the quiet was broken by the shuffling of feet. "Must you be so loud?" the petite woman grumbled as she staggered out of her apartment in her pajama's and fuzzy animal slippers; rubbing her eyes and forehead as she made her way towards Bo.
"Don't tell me you have a hangover?" the brunette asked as she tried to supress her smirk.
"K, I won't." she replied sarcastically.
Bo shook her head at her friend's antics. "What time did you and Dr. Perfect leave the bar?" she asked, making a face as she referred to the Fae doctor.
Kenzi cocked her head and gave her a fixed look.
"Fine!" the brunette said as she rolled her eyes. "What time did you and Nayara leave the bar?"
"Sometime early this morning… And you should totally appreciate my stealthy, ninja-like skills as I didn't wake you when I came in." Kenzi said, smiling proudly at herself as she walked over to the sofa and flopped down ungracefully. Blinking a few times to allow her eyes to adjust to being awake, she finally noticed the permanent smile on her friend's face. "And why do you look like you swallowed a canary? Oh wait, let me guess… you just had breakfast with Hot Pants."
The brunette refused to give her friend the satisfaction. "Wrong! I just finished chatting with Hale for my obligatory daily Delegate update."
"Say that three times fast." The petite Russian joked before concern washed over her face. "Wait! You and the Doc didn't have breakfast? Did you have a fight?"
"Why do you assume the worst?" Bo smiled widely. "I just came from the security office for my video conference call with Hale but before that, Lauren and I had breakfast together… it's turning out to be my favorite meal of the day."
"Ugh… Eto slishkom rano dlya igry v slova." Kenzi groaned out in Russian.
"Huh?"
"It's too early for word games." The Goth sighed out. "Now, where's my coffee?" she demanded as she made grabby gestures with her fingers.
The Succubus quietly thrust the warm cup of java into her friend's hands and placed the bagel on the coffee table in front of her. She watched as the younger woman sat up and cradled the cup to her lips, smiled and closed her eyes as she inhaled its rich aroma. After a few sips, Kenzi sighed contentedly and tucked her feet under her so that the long ears from her fuzzy, animal slippers were sticking out from under her legs.
"Better?" Bo asked as she sat next to her friend.
"Much! Thanks."
"Well, it's to my benefit as well. You tend to grunt like a caveman until you have coffee."
"I'm not fully awake yet so imagine me making a witty, smart ass remark and direct it at yourself." She mumbled as she took another sip. Her eyes instantly went wide as she noticed the bagel for the first time. "Ooohh, food!" she squealed as she leaned forward and grabbed it from the table.
A few minutes later with crumbs scattered over her shirt and lap, Kenzi was more awake and sated. "I didn't realize how hungry I was. Speaking of which, how're you doing? Any rumblings in your umm, Succubus tummy?"
"I'm good Kenz. Couldn't be better!" Bo said smiling from ear to ear; the improvement in her relationship with Lauren had her floating on cloud nine.
"And I'm guessing that has something to do with uh, what now, your third, non-date breakfast in a row with Hot Pants?" the Goth asked as she nudged the brunette with her elbow and wiggled her eyebrows.
Bo couldn't stop the huge smile from growing on her face. "Things are going well… really well. It's comfortable and not awkward or tense like before. And I can tell that she's really trying..." The brunette hesitated and her smile dropped slightly.
"I sense a 'but'. Talk to me chica."
She let out a small sigh. "Lauren's still holding back. I mean, I completely understand why. I just wish we were past all of this so that she could be herself with me one hundred percent. "
"It'll take time BoBo." Kenzi assured her.
"I know I'm being impatient." The brunette sighed out. "I'm trying not to be but the fact that we will be leaving in two weeks is not helping."
The Goth nodded her understanding. There was something that she was curious about and in typical Kenzi fashion, she showed tact and restraint. "Do you sense anything when she's around you? Like does her aura blaze like a million suns for your sexy vag?"
The brunette shook her head but couldn't supress the small grin that was forming. Kenzi could always make her smile. "I swear Kenz, the things that come out of your mouth."
The younger woman had a mischievous glint in her eyes. "Well, we make quite the team - the things that come out of my mouth and the things that go into yours."
The Succubus swatted her best friend's arm in jest as they both started chuckling. Once they sobered up, Bo's tone became serious. "Lauren is a master of controlling her feelings. Since we've arrived, I've only ever seen her peak at an eight once and then immediately dropped to a two; since then she's been a constant four with me."
"Well, you and I both know that the Doc is a pro at masking her feelings. If she can control her feelings, she can most likely control her desire, right? And if she can control her desire, then wouldn't it affect what her aura looks like? Anyway, I wouldn't read too much into it Succubum." Kenzi tried to provide a positive, possible explanation for it all, which made Bo's eyes light up with hope.
Not being able to restrain her curiosity, she asked, "Is she the same with Nayara? Is there any difference?"
Bo flinched at hearing the Fae's name but held back her biting remark. "She's about a four with Nayara as well." She replied tersely.
"See!" Kenzi exclaimed.
"I've seen Nayara shine so brightly around Lauren that I needed to wear shades so it's not really reassuring Kenz." She grumbled.
"Recently?" the petite Russian asked hesitantly.
Bo looked up not focusing on anything in particular as she thought back to her observations of the two doctors. "Well… no, not recently. When we first got here she was easily an eight around Lauren but these past few days, there hasn't been much of a glimmer."
Kenzi smiled and poked her friend in the ribs. "That's a good sign then Chiquita."
The Succubus nodded and returned the smile; her eyes brightened as she thought about Lauren. "I'm just really glad that we are spending more time together." Bo's expression became contemplative as she continued to talk. "Lauren's changed. I don't know if it's because she's away from everyone and everything in Toronto or if it's because her time here has affected her but she's… different."
The younger woman was curious. "Different how?"
"She's more confident… I'm not talking about Lauren, the scientist; I mean Lauren, the person. She carries herself differently outside of the lab like she's more sure of herself. She also doesn't work all those crazy hours like she used to and actually has three square meals a day which blows my mind. I think back to all those times I had to pry her away from the lab or bring food in for her because she'd forget to eat. This is definitely a good thing."
The brunette paused to catch her breath from talking excitedly. "She's also trying new things like boxing. To be honest, I didn't think she would be into such a physical and aggressive sport but she surprised me. She's pretty good. And I have to say that Sporty Lauren is seriously hot!" Bo instantly imagined the blonde's long, lean legs in shorts as she bounced lightly on the balls of her feet and then a sly smile broke out as she envisioned other body parts that bounced.
Shaking herself out of her reverie, she continued her ramble. "She has some sexy muscle definition happening and she can throw a mean punch. She's also not afraid to push herself past the point of physical exhaustion and get a good sweat going…" Bo's voice trailed off and her eyes instantly glaze over imagining Lauren's naked body glistening from perspiration; her arms and legs wrapped around her; and her back arched as her muscles tense and squeeze her tightly.
Kenzi snapped her fingers in front of her friend's face. "Earth to Bo!"
"Huh? Sorry. Mental image." She said with a lascivious grin on her face. "Where was I? Umm, she's more relaxed and she speaks her mind instead of staying silent and I think she's actually trying to take better care of herself." Bo rambled excitedly. "I don't know what caused these changes but I really like it."
"Oh, I know what it is about Hot Pants that you like." Kenzi laughed at her friend.
Bo shook her head at the younger woman and leaned against her. "There's nothing you can say to spoil my mood Kenz."
The Goth just smiled and rested her head on the brunette's shoulder. She knew that Bo was happy and head over heels in love with the doctor and she hoped for both their sakes that things would work out. She couldn't deal with a broken hearted Succubus again. "I imagine we'll be going to the lab later so that you can make googly-eyes at the Doc. Are you gonna take me out for lunch before that? You know that I can't take all that sciency stuff on an empty stomach."
"You can't take all that sciency stuff on a full stomach or with alcohol." Bo corrected.
"Whatevs! I need food!" she demanded.
"Yes, your majesty." Bo mock bowed before gently pushing her away. "Go get changed so we can feed your tapeworm and then head to the lab."
Kenzi grinned and kissed her friend on the cheek before she bounded off the couch. Bo chuckled; she was beyond happy. She was sober, healthy and stable; she and Kenzi were closer than ever; and things with Lauren were going well. The only way it could get any better was if Lauren wanted to give them another chance – something which she hoped for more than anything.
Lab (a couple hours later)
Bo and Kenzi walked into what seemed to be organized chaos. There was a flurry of activity with every lab station occupied, people hustling about from one piece of scientific equipment to the next and almost everyone had tablets or pages of data clutched in their hands while they participated in discussions about their various experiments. Over the past few days of visiting the lab, Bo had noticed a pattern to the noise level where most times only the hum of the electronic devices could be heard before a smattering of conversations erupted and quickly ramped up as numerous discussions added to the din, making it so loud that Bo didn't know how anyone could think. But just as quickly as it began, it would abruptly end as if everyone simultaneously recognized that the noise levels were too high.
Not wanting to get in the way, both women quickly stood back and observed the hustle and bustle around the laboratory. The Succubus didn't know much about the lab equipment being used except that Lauren looked sexy as hell when she was using it. She didn't have to be a rocket scientist to see that everyone was working diligently to come up with an antidote.
As she looked around the lab, Bo spotted Lauren in her office talking with two scientists. The Succubus smiled as she observed her from afar, watching as she would occasionally gesture excitedly with her hands during the discussion. She was so caught up with Lauren that she was oblivious to everyone and everything around her until she felt a sharp pain on her forearm. "Ow! What the hell?!"
"I've been talking to you for the past couple of minutes but you've been in a Lauren-trance." The Goth complained.
"Have not!" Bo replied indignantly, rubbing at the sore spot on her arm where Kenzi had pinched her.
"Oh please! You rushed me through my lunch to get here so that you could zoom in on her like a heat seeking missile and then when you finally lay eyes on her, you're practically drooling. If you weren't my bestie, I'd call you a stalker." The younger woman teased.
"First of all, I don't drool." Bo said slightly annoyed that her friend had caught her red-handed.
"Do too!" Kenzi sing-songed.
"Do not!"
"Do too, infinity!" the younger woman exclaimed with a big grin.
"Real mature." The brunette grumbled.
The Goth chuckled. "I never said I was. You're too easy Succubabe."
"Yeah, yeah. I… I just enjoy watching Lauren work." She admitted. "I mean, look how they are around her. They all go to her for advice and for her opinion. She's the expert and they all seek her guidance." Both women watched as the scientists left the blonde's office only to be replaced by a few more waving clipboards and sheets of data.
Bo smiled with pride. "She's good at what she does. It's great to see her be respected and appreciated. She deserves it."
"Yes she does." The younger woman said genuinely as she watched the doctor. "So, are you going to stand here ogling Hot Pants all afternoon or are you going to talk to her?"
The brunette's smile only grew bigger at her friend's remark. "I'm just waiting for her to have a break from the scientists."
A few minutes passed and just as it looked like the revolving door to Lauren's office had finally stopped, Nayara walked in. Bo stiffened instantly. Kenzi didn't have to be a mind reader to know that her friend was still struggling when it came to the Fae doctor. The Succubus watched how easily both women interacted and how closely they stood to one another without physically touching - they had a camaraderie that she was envious of and it made her jealousy rise. Taking a deep breath, Bo closed her eyes and forced her green eyed monster down knowing that she couldn't let her emotions get the better of her.
Moments later Kenzi roused the brunette out of her meditation. "Hey BoBo. Here's your chance – the Doc's alone."
The Succubus' eyes blinked open as she watched Lauren run her fingers through her beautiful, wavy hair before sinking into her leather chair and rested her head back, seemingly enjoying the peace and quiet. Bo loved watching Lauren when she didn't realize anyone was looking for the simple reason that it was in these moments that the blonde was herself – there was no doctor mask; no walls in place; no pretenses - just Lauren. Bo quickly collected herself and walked over to her office.
"Hey." She said gently as she knocked on the door.
Lauren looked up and smiled brightly at her visitor. "Hey yourself."
"You've been quite the social butterfly with a never ending line of scientists through your office." Bo said light heartedly.
"Maybe a science butterfly would be more accurate." She smiled shyly.
"Lauren, everyone here knows that you're brilliant. That's why they're flocking to you for advice. They respect your opinion. They respect you." Bo said genuinely, causing Lauren to blush at the compliment.
Bo smiled sweetly at the blonde and the fact that she still had difficulty accepting compliments. Deciding to let her off the hook, she changed subjects. "So, how're you holding up?" the brunette asked as she walked closer and half sat-stood on the edge of the desk and faced her.
"Not bad. Everyone has been working non-stop trying to find a cure. It's exhausting but exciting at the same time."
"I don't doubt that but I was asking about you. I know that you'll put a lot of stress on yourself until a cure is found." Bo said slightly worried.
Lauren smiled at the brunette's concern. "Really, there's no need to worry, I'm okay. I'm not in the same situation as I was in Toronto. Back there, everything was on me. Here, it's a team effort - everyone is working towards a common goal. So, yes even though I do place some additional pressure on myself, it's actually a burden that is shared by everyone in the lab."
"Okay." Bo said simply not wanting to push. "Well, I won't take up any more of your time, I know you're busy. I just wanted to see how you were doing."
Lauren didn't think she could smile any brighter but she did; it was reflexive when it came to Bo and especially that she was concerned about her. "Are we still on for boxing tonight?" she asked.
"Definitely." Bo grinned brightly and her eyes came alive. "I'll see you at eight."
Gym
Lauren made sure to arrive early as she didn't want to be late again but that was only part of the reason; what she really wanted was to spend as much time as possible with Bo. Training together seemed to be the only time that they could be alone – to be away from the lab and everyone else - and she was looking forward to it. Trying to distract herself from setting any false expectations, Lauren started her warm up. Unfortunately she found her plan was quickly thwarted as her wandering mind imagined Bo flashing her trademark dimpled smile at her and wearing gym gear that showed off her assets perfectly.
As Lauren cleared her mind and concentrated on her stretches, she recognized that working on an antidote had occupied her every waking thought and didn't leave her much time to process everything that had happened between her and Bo. The blonde knew that she was initially hesitant to open herself up again but since Kenzi told her what happened after she left Toronto, she found herself slowly lowering her guard around Bo. Lauren felt as if a weight had been lifted now that they were trying to get to know one another again without the physical aspect of their relationship clouding things. She could tell that Bo was trying and that gave her the encouragement she needed to do the same.
It wasn't much longer before Bo strutted into the gym wearing a broad smile, a pair of shorts that would put Daisy Duke to shame and a t-shirt that Lauren was envious of as it clung to her in all the right places. Lauren instantly stopped what she was doing and swallowed hard as she saw the brunette. Reining in her emotions, she quickly took a deep, cleansing breath to slow down her heart rate and regain her composure before Bo noticed.
After some hellos and nervous smiles they started their boxing drills; both anxious to finish training so that they could get to the hanging-out part of their evening. Bo had set a good pace and was slowly ramping things up when Lauren suddenly screamed out in pain and stumbled back against the wall, clutching at her left arm. "Lauren! Are you okay? What's wrong?" she asked in a panic.
The blonde hissed and took a couple calming breaths before she spoke. "I'm… alright. I just felt an incredibly sharp pain run through my arm."
Noticing that she was still a bit shaky as she leaned against the wall, Bo moved in closer in case her legs gave out. "I know that you enjoy boxing but maybe it's too soon after your injury." she said with concern in her voice.
Lauren cradled her arm. "Perhaps you're right Doctor Dennis." She said in an attempt to make light of the situation as well as distract herself. Though the intense pain had subsided, it was difficult to ignore the spasms travelling through her arm.
The brunette gave her a thin smile. "I'll take you back to your apartment and help you with your arm."
"It's okay, I can manage." Lauren insisted as she tried to focus on her breathing instead of the discomfort.
"I know you can but you are a bit unsteady… besides, I wasn't giving you an option." The Succubus said in a determined tone.
The blonde knew that when Bo had her mind made up, nothing would deter her so she smiled in resignation. "Well, when you put it that way, how can I refuse?"
It was the first time that Bo was in Lauren's apartment and under normal circumstances, she would've been ecstatic to have been invited in however at this moment all she was concerned about was taking care of Lauren.
The blonde made her way to the couch, cradling her arm. "Could you get my First Aid kit while I take off my bandages? It's in the bathroom on the counter." Bo nodded and left giving Lauren some time alone. The doctor didn't want Bo to see her like this but she knew that she couldn't hide her injury forever.
The brunette quickly found the bathroom and immediately returned with the kit in hand. As she sat on the coffee table across from the doctor, worry was etched on her face. Lauren was quiet as she willed herself to focus on her arm and not on Bo. It took a few seconds to remove the cloth dressing and as she unravelled the last of the material, she steeled herself for the reaction.
Bo's eyes opened wide when she saw the extent of the wound. "Jesus Lauren!" The blonde had a long, jagged scar that ran half way down her tricep, criss-crossing over the lower part of her bicep and down to her forearm just past her elbow. Bo instinctively reached out to touch it but stopped herself; her hand hovered in mid-air before she pulled it back and instead covered her mouth in shock.
The brunette silently stared at Lauren's perfect skin that was now marred by this long, pink, raised scar and blinked away the tears that were starting to form; the realization of how serious the attack actually was, staring her in the face. The wound looked extremely painful and Bo felt anger surge through her as her eyes turned electric blue; her inner Succubus wanting to cause extreme suffering to whoever attacked Lauren. Closing her eyes momentarily, she took a couple of deep breaths to control her anger and to force her eyes to return to their regular colour.
After an uncomfortable silence, the blonde spoke hesitantly. "It looks worse than it is."
Bo was angry that Lauren was hurt and blamed herself for her injury - she knew that it was because of her that the blonde ran to the jungles of Brazil and was placed in harm's way. She was also upset that Lauren was pretending that what happened wasn't serious. Her frustration registered in her voice as she stared directly into the blonde's eyes. "Don't downplay this Lauren. I know that you said that you could've lost your arm but I didn't think anything more of it because you were so nonchalant about the whole thing…. I had no idea it was this bad." She said as she gestured to her injury.
The blonde didn't know what to say and instead remained silent; she intentionally hid the extent of her injury as she knew that it would upset Bo and despite how shaky things had been between them, she didn't want her to worry.
Bo took a deep breath and swallowed her frustration; she was lashing out which wasn't her intent; her main concern was Lauren. "I'm sorry." She breathed out. "Do you want to talk about what happened?" Bo asked softly.
The blonde hadn't had an opportunity to talk about the attack because so much had happened since she returned. It wasn't that she was trying to keep it a secret; she just hadn't had time to think about it much less talk about it. Lauren clasped her hands in her lap; taking a deep breath, she exhaled loudly and began to recount what happened.
"There was thick smoke everywhere from the attack and all I could hear was screaming and explosions. Serena immediately pulled Nay and I away from the path and directed us away from the ambush site. We ran… I can't remember for how long, it just seemed like it took a while. When we stopped we found ourselves in a section of the jungle that we had never been in before. It was heavily overgrown with brush and vines which made it difficult to hike through."
Bo's eyes were trained on Lauren as she took in every word and observed every facial expression. She was sitting absolutely still, not wanting to distract or interrupt the blonde; the only movement being the twitching of her jaw as she involuntary clenched and unclenched it.
"To make matters worse, the dense trees kept the smoke from dissipating so it instead travelled outwards, making it hard to breathe and to see more than ten feet in any direction. We managed to put significant distance between us and the attack zone when suddenly there was an explosion. I don't know what struck me but whatever it was, ripped right through flesh, muscle and bone."
Lauren unconsciously rubbed her wound gently as she spoke. "There wasn't much keeping my arm attached." She admitted with a shaky voice. "I was in extreme pain and shock was setting in but Nayara was able to stop the bleeding and keep umm, everything in place. Serena kept watch for whoever attacked us while Nay put my arm in a sling. It only took a few minutes for her to take care of my arm but it seemed like forever. Fortunately, no one appeared and nothing else happened so as soon as my arm was wrapped and secured, Serena ordered us to run ahead of her and to not look back." The blonde paused to collect her thoughts; talking about the attack while her arm throbbed was almost as if she was re-living the moment.
Bo remained silent as her eyes roamed over the hideous scar and imagined the pain that Lauren would've gone through. The thought of which made the brunette ball her hands into fists so tightly that her fingernails left crescent shaped indentations in her palms. Shaking her head and the thoughts away, she looked at Lauren with concern and waited for her to continue.
"The forest was unusually quiet and being in a part of the jungle that we hadn't ventured in before didn't help ease our fears. Even though we had taken the long way around, our GPS indicated that we weren't far from Base Camp. We thought that the worst was behind us but then there was another loud explosion and everything around us shook. Nayara and I ducked for cover and when the smoke and debris cleared, we couldn't see Serena. We circled back and eventually found her slumped against a tree, unconscious; her body mangled. She had a punctured lung, had a cracked skull and her leg and two arms were broken. Fortunately, the trees provided us with ample cover so we were able to stay out of sight while we did triage. Once we stopped her bleeding, mobilized her broken limbs and got her as comfortable as possible, we decided that I would stay with Serena and monitor her while Nayara would run to the Camp as she was faster and had no injuries. Fortunately, a security detail was dispatched to investigate the explosion so Nay didn't have to go far for help. They quickly came for us and brought us to Base Camp where we stabilized Serena for transport here."
Bo released the breath she didn't realize she was holding. "Did you ever find out who attacked you?" she enquired softly.
Lauren shook her head. "Those who survived the ambush never saw who attacked them. As for us? We had the unfortunate luck of being in the wrong place and came across a couple of remaining mines left over from the Great War between the Light and Dark. Apparently, the vast majority of these traps had been found and disarmed but there are still some hidden in obscure areas of the jungle. Unfortunately, we weren't briefed about it was because we normally would never be in these areas."
There was a moment of silence as the weight of Lauren's words sunk in and Bo realized how close she came to losing her. "How's your arm right now?" she asked softly, her voice cracking slightly.
Lauren shook her head. "It's throbbing but the pain has subsided significantly. The ointment that I'm using has already healed the bone and a good percentage of muscle tissue and tendons in a very short period of time. Fae medicine really is amazing!" The doctor was constantly fascinated by Fae technology and their medical advances and couldn't hold back the hint of excitement in her voice.
"My healing is progressing at an incredible rate however the ointment doesn't eradicate the pain associated with the muscles and tendons growing and knitting together… if anything, it's more intense as the recuperation period is accelerated. I just hadn't experienced pain to this extent before." She explained. "And before you say anything, it does help to keep my muscles moving but perhaps boxing may have been a bit much."
"You think?" Bo said sarcastically.
The blonde rolled her eyes in response and smiled. "With time and continuous use of the balm, my arm will heal completely and the scar will disappear. I will be as good as new in a few weeks."
Bo smiled at the good news. "That's a relief." She sighed out. "How about we get your arm looked at? How can I help?"
"I just have to clean it; rub some of the balm over the scar and then bandage it."
"I can do that." Bo said quickly. "Uh, are you okay with me touching you? I mean, umm, will it hurt when I clean your arm and put the ointment on?" she asked, careful to not overstep any boundaries.
"No, it'll be okay – you won't hurt me." Lauren said softly, appreciating and finding Bo's trepidation endearing.
The brunette leaned forward and tentatively touched the scar with her index finger, not wanting to apply too much pressure and hurt her. Focusing on the task at hand and under Lauren's direction, Bo gently wiped the entire wound with a cotton swab soaked with Hydrogen Peroxide and allowed the area of skin to air dry. Dipping two fingers into the container, she scooped out some of the balm and noted that it had a Vaseline-like texture and that it radiated a soothing warmth. Resting one hand on Lauren's shoulder, she applied the ointment with her other hand and made sure to administer it all over the scar and the surrounding flesh.
Bo was very aware that she was touching Lauren's skin but more importantly, Lauren was letting her. Her heart raced from being so close to the blonde and it took every ounce of willpower that she had to not lean in the remaining distance, pull Lauren into her and kiss her hard. Instead she concentrated on what she was doing and forced herself to not look up into Lauren's chocolate brown eyes.
Both women were quiet as the brunette focused on applying the ointment. Lauren found it difficult to look anywhere else. This was the first time since Bo arrived in Brazil that they were in close proximity of one another without it being angry or awkward. Lauren couldn't help but gaze at Bo. Her eyes travelled over her beautiful face, observing the crease that formed between her eyes while she was concentrating before moving down to her full lips – those same lips that had touched, kissed and tasted every inch of her body intimately. She quickly turned her head to avert her gaze and her thoughts but instead her eyes inadvertently fell upon the plunge of her t-shirt's low cut neckline, giving the blonde an unobstructed view of Bo's neck and cleavage. Lauren inhaled sharply and immediately got lost in the brunette's scent. She was quickly losing control and her heart felt as if it would beat out of her chest. Everything fell away - there was no pain; no sound – the only thing that existed was Bo's strong but gentle fingers on her. It had been a while since she had felt Bo's touch and she had forgotten how much she missed it; how much she had missed her. Lauren knew that it would be very easy to lose herself in the brunette's arms and what worried her was that she was actually considering it. Taking a deep, cleansing breath, she exhaled slowly and opened her eyes in an attempt to control her desire.
In the meantime, Bo was concentrating on what she was doing. She was well aware of her body's reaction from being so close to Lauren. Her senses were on overload as her fingers travelled over her skin – she loved how wonderful and soft Lauren's skin felt and the urge to touch and explore more of her body was overwhelming. Out of her periphery vision, she could see the rise and fall of Lauren's chest as she breathed and saw her aura flare brightly. The Succubus was happy that she still had an effect on the blonde and instinctively nibbled on her bottom lip. Any doubts about Lauren's lack of desire for her was no longer in question but despite this positive reaction, Bo wanted more - she wanted to earn Lauren's love and trust back and she didn't want to ruin any chance of that by acting on her needs.
Taking a deep breath and exhaling, Bo decided to not prolong things. She quickly finished applying the balm and sat upright, instantly increasing the distance between them.
Both women immediately missed being out of each other's personal space and used the slightly awkward moment to recover. Lauren quickly shifted into doctor mode and explained to Bo how to apply and secure the dressing around her arm. It took a couple of tries but the brunette was finally able to wrap the bandage so that it was snug but comfortable. "Not too shabby." Lauren smiled as she appraised her handy work.
Bo smiled proudly. "Thanks for giving me the chance to prove myself as a doctor's assistant. I may seek your help if I ever decide to change careers."
"Of course! I'll give you a glowing reference." Lauren bantered back.
Bo leaned forward and rested her forearms on the top of her thighs as she wiped the ointment off of her hand. Bo's demeanour suddenly grew serious as her eyes fell on the blonde's freshly bandaged arm. She had suppressed her feelings while she tended to Lauren but now that the task was completed, she no longer had a distraction to keep her emotions in check. Tears spilled freely and her voice sounded broken and distant as her eyes remained fixed on Lauren's injured arm. "I thought that I had lost you that day… that I would never see you again." She said tiredly; thinking back to when she was told that Lauren was attacked. "We were told that your group was ambushed and that there were many injuries and deaths… with communications down, no one could give us any more information. My imagination went into overdrive - picturing you alone, afraid and hurt or worse. Dead. There was nothing I could do and not knowing was torture. I never felt so scared and helpless in my entire life."
Bo looked up into the blonde's eyes as tears meandered down her cheeks, not caring if it made her look weak. "I would've given anything… done anything…for you to be safe. For the first time since I ran away from home, I prayed… I prayed for you to be alright; to be out of harm's way; and to get back here safely. All I could think was that you would never know how important you are to me; how much I regret ruining everything between us and for hurting you; and that you would never know that I have never loved anyone as much as I love you."
The brunette didn't plan on making this declaration but her feelings took over and before she knew it, the words had escaped and it was too late to take it back. Bo quickly averted her gaze thinking that she had said too much, too soon and realized that she had laid herself emotionally bare in front of Lauren - something that she had never done with anyone before. Squeezing her eyes shut, she silently chastised herself for moving too fast just when things were starting to get better between them.
Bo's words washed over the blonde, penetrated her skin and resonated deep inside, causing her heart to swell with emotion. Bo had told Lauren that she had loved her before but it was never with such a raw, emotional intensity. She hadn't expected Bo to be so open and vulnerable; there was no pretence or Succubus bravado, only honesty. In that moment, she finally understood how Bo felt but more importantly, she believed her without a shadow of a doubt.
"Oh, Bo…." she said as she finally found her voice only to stop herself knowing that there were no words to express what she wanted to say. There were no words that were adequate enough to console Bo or that would accurately convey the mass of emotions whirling about inside. Lauren was tired of fighting her feelings and of thinking rationally and instead allowed herself to react. Standing abruptly, she grabbed Bo's hands, pulled her up into her arms and held her tightly; instantly becoming suffused with Bo's scent and the feel of her body against her.
The brunette was caught off guard but quickly got over the shock and instantly melted in Lauren's embrace. Burying her face in long, wavy hair, she held Lauren tightly as tears cascaded down onto the blonde's neck.
It wasn't lost on either of them that this was the first time since Lauren left Toronto that they had any physical contact and shown each other affection. Time seemed to stand still as both women became lost in the sensation of being in each other's arms and of the comfort it provided.
Being in Bo's arms felt right - she felt comfortable, safe and reassured. Lauren had always wanted to know that she had mattered to Bo and now the brunette was vocalizing it. Even though they were no longer together, Lauren appreciated her honesty and the weight that her words held. She also recognized that the 'old' Bo would've had difficulty communicating how she felt but this 'new' Bo was trying and that strengthened her faith and hope for them.
The blonde wanted to remain in Bo's arms and have all their troubles disappear but such thinking was irrational; the recognition of which, forced Lauren's emotions to retreat and the logical part of her to step forward. Things were too familiar and she knew the danger of falling back into old practices and in giving in to the physicality of their relationship. Reluctantly, Lauren slowly pulled away; their fingers entwined for one last brief second before their hands fell uselessly to their sides. Lauren looked at the brunette tenderly, trying to convey her appreciation of Bo's honesty in her eyes as she gave the brunette a shy, sweet smile.
Bo was disappointed when their embrace ended but understood why Lauren pulled back. Using the moment to compose herself, Bo wiped at her tear stained cheeks. Lauren, meanwhile, took a step back and quickly changed subjects. "Umm, so, we will probably be heading into the field once we have an antidote. How do you feel about being immersed in humidity, trees, wild animals and bugs?"
"Can't wait!" Bo said sarcastically with a grin.
"Do you and Kenzi have appropriate clothing for the field? You know, long sleeved shirts, hiking pants and boots, et cetera."
Bo had a perplexed look on her face. "What are these long sleeved shirts you speak of?"
The blonde chuckled. "I know it's a foreign concept for you compared to your tank tops and vests but you can't take any chances having your skin exposed. You will be susceptible to the virus."
Bo became serious. "To be honest, being in the jungle never crossed our minds so we didn't pack anything." Shrugging her shoulders, she said, "Granted, our clothes are only geared for the city and the odd fight in the sewers."
Lauren quickly thought of a solution. "Okay, I'll ask Nayara if she could take us all shopping, that way you both can get your gear and also see a bit of Brazil. Plus, I know you've been cooped up in the compound since you arrived." Lauren said with a smile.
The brunette was looking forward to being anywhere with Lauren and getting away from the compound was perfect, regardless of the fact that the Fae doctor would be with them. "Great! It'll definitely be good to see something other than this building. Besides, Kenzi would love any excuse to shop… even if it's for khaki's." Both women chuckled as they envisioned the Goth trying to find designer hiking gear.
Bo was thankful that she didn't upset the blonde and that she accomplished the opposite of what she feared would happen. The Succubus knew that she had her job cut out for her to regain Lauren's trust and because of that she didn't take offence when the blonde didn't respond to her emotional outpouring - she was simply relieved that Lauren didn't freak out. Bo knew that she had a long way to go to repair things between them but she realized that putting her pride aside and being completely honest seemed to be a big step in the right direction.
Even though she didn't want to leave the apartment, Bo wanted to end things on a high note, so reluctantly, she decided to call it a night. "Well, I should get going so that you can get some rest."
"Okay." The blonde said as she got up and walked Bo to the door. "See you at breakfast?"
"Definitely." The Succubus said enthusiastically as she lingered in the hallway.
The blonde smiled sweetly. "Thanks again for your help."
"Anytime." The brunette said softly as she looked into Lauren's warm, brown eyes.
Both women silently gazed at one another; neither wanting to look away nor in a rush to say goodbye; both lost in the moment and in the comfortable connection that they had rediscovered. Bo didn't know how much time had passed except that after a few seconds, she realized that she was still staring at Lauren and hadn't moved from in front of her door. Adjusting her posture, she cleared her throat and reclaimed her confidence by finally saying goodnight, all the while grinning from ear to ear.
Closing the door behind her, Lauren leaned against it and couldn't help the huge smile that formed. Even though she was trying to keep her emotions in check, it was very difficult to ignore her body's reaction to the brunette. Her erratic heartbeat, sweaty hands and butterflies in her stomach were all symptoms of the nervous excitement that she felt around Bo and as much as it scared Lauren to feel this way, it stirred something within: forgiveness. For the first time since leaving Toronto, Lauren realized that she could see herself forgiving Bo – something she never thought was possible.
She knew the moment things shifted: when she found Bo in Serena's room. It was then that she started to feel her walls crumble. Lauren knew without a shadow of a doubt that it was just a matter of time before she was able to reconcile everything between her and Bo and just knowing that it was inevitable, gave her a sense of peace that she hadn't experienced in some time. Maintaining her smile, she pushed off from the door to get ready for bed. Lauren had had a long but wonderful day and she couldn't wait to see what tomorrow would bring.
TBC
Author's Notes:
I still intend on plugging away at "Time" but I don't know when next I will be able to post. I promise to deliver and I hope that you will continue to be patient with me.
Thanks again.