Beta love: glitterally. She's posted a new LonGer called "Flailing in Love;" it's as fabulous as she is! Go read and review. PHB will be waiting for you. :)

Ch. 16

Friday Morning

Harry & Hermione on the way to breakfast

"What did Sirius say when you told him, about us, I mean?"

"Nothing much." Harry answered. "He just nodded. I think he's relieved, honestly." He juggled the two messenger bags he was carrying and held his hand out to her. "Hold my hand?"

They walked into the Great Hall, a united front. Hermione's eyes immediately went to the envelopes on virtually all the plates. The whispers grew around the Hall as more and more students read the contents.

Dear Students,

Please be advised that all counseling classes are now optional. If you choose to drop this class, you will be awarded a free hour in its place. Please see your Head of House with any questions.

Best,

Minerva McGonagall, Headmistress

"Yes!" Dennis Creevy whooped.

From the Hufflepuff table, she heard someone ask rather loudly, "Blimey, what do you reckon happened? I hope everything's okay."

"Nice. I could use the extra study time; Weasley's class is killer," a Ravenclaw mentioned as he was passing on the way out the doors.

At the head table, Professor Trallop leaned over to address the Headmistress. "A word, if you would, Headmistress?"

"Certainly, Professor. I need to speak with you regardless; you're welcome to meet with me directly after breakfast in my office."

9:00am

Headmistress's Office

"With all due respect, Headmistress, I believe you owe me an explanation for all but cancelling my class."

"You're quite right, Professor. A student has accused you of attempting to use Legilimency to read his mind without his permission. Perhaps you'd like to clarify that incident?"

"Don't be ridiculous! That violates the code of conduct for all therapists. I would never!"

"This isn't a student who would lie about something like this, Professor."

"Of course Potter would lie about something like this! He's been resistant to working through his trauma from the very beginning." Trallop's voice dropped and she continued confidentially, "he's much too influenced by young Miss Black and very traumatized by his entire childhood. I mean, can you imagine seeing your mother murdered in front of you, then the last few years with Voldemort coming back to power? He's simply not stable."

McGonagall ground her teeth together, forcing a calm facade. "I didn't say it was Mr. Potter. However, if it was, whatever his childhood and adolescent traumas, he's survived and come through brilliantly. To be quite frank, I now believe it was a mistake to bring you here, and should I have to make the decision to trust him or you, I will always believe him. He's earned that, Professor."

"I'm the therapist appointed by the Minister for Magic himself. This isn't a school matter, anymore, McGonagall. I'll go to Minister Shacklebolt and have you removed!" Trallop sneered.

The Floo flared as she was finishing her threat. Kingsley Shacklebolt and Sirius Black stood in front of the massive fireplace, brushing soot off their shoulders.

"No, don't let us interrupt, Professor, go ahead," Kingsley invited her to continue.

Trallop continued with her bluster. "Minister, I've been accused of a heinous crime. Apparently Harry Potter has accused me of attempting to illegally read his mind." She smiled ingratiatingly. "It's utter nonsense, of course. He's deeply disturbed; it's to be expected. Now that you're here, I'm sure we can get this misunderstanding cleared up in no time."

Kingsley's hand flew out to the side, stopping Sirius from charging the elegant woman seated in front of McGonagall's desk.

"Why you - " Sirius began.

"Just one moment, Mr. Black; let me handle this." Kingsley interrupted Sirius before he could formulate anything further. "Headmistress," he said, "perhaps you'd be so good as to give your side of the events."

"Certainly, Minister. Professor Trallop has been accused of using Legilimency on a student illegally. In response, I've made her counseling class optional. I did not, however, mention which student made the accusation."

The Headmistress, the Minister for Magic, and the Head of the Most Noble and Ancient House of Black all looked expectantly at the pale Professor.

The rapid throb of her pulse betrayed her nervousness. "Of course it was Mr. Potter. He stormed out of my class yesterday with Miss Black in tow." Her voice gained confidence. "Indeed, you can ask Miss Parkinson; she'll confirm that they've been difficult and resistant all year long. And yesterday, their actions were simply insupportable!"

"Oh, we'll get to that if necessary, Professor. But Mr. Black has lodged a formal complaint with the Ministry regarding this accusation. And we'll take all accusations of this nature very seriously given the recent war with Voldemort. Surely you realize that he used Legilimency routinely. Indeed, he used it on Mr. Potter. He knows better than almost anyone exactly what it's like to have someone in his head. So, I believe that you fail to understand the gravity of the situation, Ms. Trallop."

"This is a product of his overactive imagination, Minister. You know that. I came to you with the highest recommendations for treatment of young wizards and witches."

"Overactive imagination?" Sirius burst out. "Overactive imagination? You're talking about the Boy Who Lived! He's not only one of the strongest wizards I know, he's one of the most stable, and his character judgment is almost always spot on. Don't insult him by saying he has an overactive imagination!"

"Mr. Black, if you could see the jumble of thoughts in his brain, you'd know what I say is true!"

"So you've seen in his head, have you, Ms. Trallop?" Kingsley's commanding bass was calm and even quiet.

"What, well, ah, of course not," Trallop stammered. "That was simply a turn of phrase. Poorly stated, merely hyperbole."

McGonagall reached in her desk drawer and pulled out a small vial of clear liquid which she placed in the center of her desk. "Perhaps you'd be willing to submit to questioning under Veritaserum?"

"Absolutely not," Trallop replied stiffly.

The headmistress folded her hands in front of her. "Then you may consider yourself dismissed, Ms. Trallop. You have until lunch to collect your belongs and vacate the castle."

"This isn't over." Trallop stood and stalked to the door. She froze in her tracks when Sirius spoke.

"You're absolutely right; it's not over. I'll see you struck off if it's the last thing I do."

After packing her things, which only took a few minutes, Trallop set off purposefully down the hall. She wasn't done yet.

The Library

Hermione's Free Morning hour

Hermione settled into her favorite study table near the back of the library. She opened her Ancient Runes book and began the translation due at the end of the week. She was so involved in her work, she didn't notice the hand with a wand pointing at her or hear the whispered "Legilimens."

Trallop permitted herself a small smile as she explored the organized spaces in Hermione's mind, trying to avoid anything that might set off an alarm in the talented witch's head. This is really too easy. What is this about tent? And such a passionate kiss with young Mr. Potter. The long nights in the tent where they held each other for comfort. An old-fashioned cup that screamed as Hermione destroyed it.

"Is anyone there?" Hermione sat up abruptly and looked around, wand in hand.

"It's just me." Daphne's familiar voice had her relaxing. "I came to study, if you don't mind. I'm having trouble in Potions, and Draco is off with Luna this hour. He said he'd come help if he got a chance."

Trallop smiled again. So Draco was with Luna? How interesting. I wonder what Miss Greengrass has to tell me. She repeated the process with Daphne, finding her an open book. Passionate, stolen kisses and even more with Neville Longbottom. Naughty girl! Your parents will be very unhappy to hear about this. Desperation to get out of the marriage contract with Draco. After quite some time, Trallop was satisfied that she had gotten all she could out of Daphne and prepared to leave, but ducked behind another book case when she heard another student coming.

I need to get out of here. She was beginning to sweat, but reconsidered leaving when she realized who the new student was. Draco Malfoy, the Slytherin Prince himself. He would no doubt have many secrets to tell. However, when she attempted to access his mind, she encountered a solid wall of swirling thoughts, all moving so quickly that she could never catch hold of one to penetrate his shields. Even worse, his head jerked around, looking for the source of the probe.

"Who's there?"

"It's just us." Daphne answered.

"No, someone was trying to use Legilimency on me."

Hermione gasped. "Are you sure?"

"Please, Granger; I know when someone's trying to muck about in my thoughts, even more than Potter."

"Trallop."

"I'd say so."

Hermione frowned. "She wasn't in here. And she'd need to be making eye contact."

"She didn't read me. I've had my shields up since she tried that shit with Potter," Draco answered. "And don't believe it about eye contact; A strong Legilimens with a wand doesn't need eye contact."

Friday Evening

8th Tower

"Zabini, you suck," Harry groused as he dropped into the chair nearest the fireplace.

"What in the name of Salazar's shorts are you going on about, Potter?"

"I can't go on a date with my girlfriend because you got in a fight with yours. What the fuck, man?"

"That's not my fault!"

"The hell it isn't. Ginny's crying to Hermione about something you did, so Hermione has to go have a girls' night in. I'm tempted to tell Ron, so he'll beat your arse tomorrow at the match."

Blaise smirked. "He's welcome to try. And what do you care? You're not going to be getting any anyway. Hermione's a good girl; she won't have sex with you for at least a couple of months; doesn't matter if you've been friends for years. And you'll get points for letting her spend time with Ginny tonight."

Harry cocked his to the side and considered the tall wizard lounging back his chair, glass in hand. He has a point.

Draco lifted a matching glass of something contraband and tipped it in a cheers motion. "Luna's with them, so we're all going to be alone tonight."

Neville came out of his door and settled in his accustomed spot on the two-seater situated near Harry's chair. "He's right. Daphne's celebrating Astoria's birthday with her and all of the Slytherin girls. This sucks."

Blaise pulled a bottle from beside him in the chair. "Here; let me make it up to you. Drake, conjure up a pair of glasses for our Gryffindor friends." They took the glasses and settled back into their chairs.

"I suppose it's the least you can do, Zabini." Harry took a contemplative sip of the whiskey and winced at the burn. "But you're probably right, not that I'd tell you tossers if Hermione and I did have sex."

"You know, Potter, I was wondering; how do Muggles keep from getting pregnant? I mean, it's no problem here at Hogwarts and then once we get out, we've got Contraceptive Charms and what not, but Muggles don't have that," Blaise asked.

"Women use pills, kind of like the potion, and patches and stuff. And then there's this cup thing. But men…." Harry's voice trailed off. "You won't believe it."

"Won't believe what?" Terry and Justin were just coming in from a study session in the library. They dropped down in the remaining chairs.

"Are you going to be hospitable and share?" Terry pointed to the drinks.

Draco shrugged and conjured two more glasses. "Sure, why not? Make it a party."

"Now, what won't Blaise believe?" Justin asked.

Harry laughed. "He wants to know what Muggles do for birth control."

Justin snickered. "And you told him about the Pill and the patch and what not?"

"Yeah."

"That just leaves condoms."

Neville was fascinated. "What's a condom?"

"It's like a glove for your nob," Harry answered.

"What's that?" Draco coughed as his Fire Whiskey went down the wrong way.

"Just what I said. It's like a glove that goes over your cock before you have sex."

"You've got to be kidding. You wouldn't be able to feel anything!" Blaise snickered.

"No, they're really thin."

"Do you have one? I've got to see this."

"Nah, like you said, we don't need that stuff here at Hogwarts. And I know the Contraceptive spell," Harry answered as Justin got up and headed to his room. "Oi, Justin, where're you going?"

"Hang on." He came back out moments later with several condoms in hand and threw one to each of his classmates. "There you go. Condoms."

The four Purebloods looked at the foil packets like they were poison.

"How does this work?" Draco turned it over and over in his hand.

Justin and Harry rolled their eyes. "You have to open the package, you twat." Harry ripped the top off foil package and pulled out the condom. "See?"

Draco and the others obediently opened their foil wrappers. "I think there's something wrong with it."

"No, there's not."

"No, seriously, I think Draco might be right." Neville argued.

"It's used! Who wanked in this thing?" Blaise exclaimed.

Hermione, Luna, and Ginny chose that moment to walk in the door. Hermione stopped short, mouth agape when she spotted the prophylactics. Her friends ran into her back like a miniature train wreck. "What are you all doing?"

Terry was the first one to recover enough to vanish the condoms.

"Err, nothing. We were, uhh, discussing the various methods of inhibiting pregnancy in the Muggle world versus the, uhh, wizarding world." Harry pushed his glasses up on his nose. "Blaise was curious how Muggles, uhh, did that."

"And you just happened to have several condoms on hand to give to your friends?" Hermione asked incredulously.

"No, of course not," Harry blustered. "Justin did."

Saturday

The Quidditch Pitch

The crowd of spectators began arriving an hour before the match began. Hermione ducked between well-wishers and hangers-on to wish the team well. By the time she arrived at the locker room, the Weasleys, Sirius, the pretty brunette she'd seen in the mirror, and, much to Hermione's delight, Ron were already there, talking strategies with Harry.

Harry waved her over, pressed a brief kiss to Hermione's lips, and tucked her under his shoulder before turning back to the crowd of friends and family who were watching the exchange, fascinated.

"Oi! That's my best friend you're kissing. Watch it!" Ron roughly stepped between the two of them, dislodging Harry's arm, and gathered Hermione in a bear hug. "How've you been, 'Mione? You'll let me know if this one," he jerked his thumb over his shoulder, pointing to Harry, "gives you any trouble, right? I'll come back and kick his arse."

She winked at Harry before answering. "I'll let you know, Ron."

"Excuse me, could I squeeze in here?" Sirius drew their attention.

Hermione turned and viewed Sirius carefully, as one might a unknown dog - with respect and a slight dose of fear. "Sirius," she greeted him cautiously.

He looked like he wanted to say something, but changed his mind. "Ah, yes, I'd like to introduce you to my very good friend, Deirdre Kathleen Finnigan. You know her younger brother, Seamus."

"Call me Kate." The brunette stepped up and offered Hermione her hand. "It's so good to meet you, Hermione."

Despite herself, Hermione couldn't help but like the open, friendly witch at Sirius's side. And he was obviously happy to have her there.

Madame Hooch stuck her head in the door. "This is the twenty-minute warning. Spectators, please make your way to the stands. Twenty-minute warning!"

"Hey, Hermione!" Harry caught her hand as she turned to leave with Ron and the others. She stepped in closer, and he stole another kiss. "Have fun. I'll catch the Snitch for you."

"Don't get hurt." This time, Hermione rose on her toes and whispered his ear, her breath sending a tingle down his spine. "And I'll keep the Snitch forever."

As the teams flew out, the stands exploded in cheers.

"Introducing Ravenclaw…." Luna's dreamy voice didn't have the same excited pitch of Lee Jordan from years past, but the fans didn't care. "There's Michael Corner at Keeper…."

Hermione and Ron clapped politely but roared along with the rest of Gryffindor House as Luna announced the Gryffindor team.

"Ginny Weasley is back at Chaser, and new this year is Dennis Creevy at Beater. You know, I always thought he'd be good at hitting balls with a bat."

"Luna!"

"Sorry, Headmistress."

"I can't believe a Creevy is a Beater," Ron yelled in Hermione's ear over the madness of the crowd.

"Harry said he's quite good, has a mean swing; it helps he's really fast!" she called back, clapping for the diminutive Beater who was demonstrating that speed.

"And finally, Gryffindor's Captain at Seeker, Harry Potter!"

Hermione gripped Ron's forearm when Harry expertly executed a barrel roll on hearing his name, much to the delight of the spectators. "Why does he do that? There's no good reason to be goofing around like that," she fretted.

"He's perfectly fine," he answered.

"The Quaffle is up and they're off!"

Cheers echoed around the Pitch. Hermione largely ignored the crowd, Luna, and all the action on the Pitch as she watched Harry intently.

"Gryffindor strikes first with a goal by Weasley; Ravenclaw now in possession, passing to - intercepted by Vane from Gryffindor who is headed back in the other direction. She really needs to watch for that - oh dear, that Bludger really did a number on her arm. Ravenclaw back in possession. It looks like Ravenclaw is going to give Gryffindor a game this afternoon."

Harry flew past the stands, keeping his eyes peeled for the Snitch and snuck a glance at Hermione. He winked mischievously before cutting left across the pitch, the Ravenclaw Seeker right behind him. She sighed when his cape lifted, giving her a nice view of his arse in Quidditch leathers.

"Are you staring at his arse?" Ron's voice startled her out of her too-brief daydream involving ridding her boyfriend of his trousers.

"Ravenclaw scores! Still no sign of the Snitch."

"Honestly, Ron, of course not! I was just thinking about the probability of a Gryffindor win today."

"Huh. Sure you were." Whatever he was going to say next was interrupted when Ginny sent the Quaffle sailing through the goals again. "Yes! That's my sister!"

Over an hour later, Harry spotted the Snitch, hovering near mid-Pitch, well below the stands. He dove for it, executing a perfect Wronski Feint. Hermione felt her heart in throat as she watched him pelt towards the ground at top speed.

"Oh Godric, please pull up, please pull up!" Hermione muttered as she dug her fingernails into Ron's forearm. "I can't watch! Did he get it? Yes!"

"He got it!" Both of their arms flew up in the celebration of the victory as Harry pulled up Snitch held high above his head for all to see. He flew directly up to the Gryffindor stands and hovered in front of Hermione and Ron.

"I told you I'd catch the Snitch for you." He grinned and held out the still fluttering Snitch to Hermione, who threw her arms around him.

"The final score this afternoon is 370 to 120." Luna's dreamy voice rang out over the PA system. "Harry Potter caught the snitch in a Wronski Feint maneuver and now he's giving it to Hermione. Really, Harry, you can do better than that for a kiss. Don't be shy; Ron won't be mad. His girlfriend is just over in the Hufflepuff stands; I'm sure of it."

"Miss Lovegood!"

"Oh, I'm sorry Professor; I didn't realize you were still here. But really it's obvious to anyone with eyes that Harry and Hermione belong together. It's really a shame about the nightmares. I keep telling them that they just need to sleep together, and they'll both get more rest."

Sirius dropped his head into his hands as pandemonium reigned.

"Miss Lovegood!"

A/N: ShayaLonnie (whose fabulous PTP was the original muse for this little story) was in on the planning document for this story with Glitter and me way back in May of 2015 and at the time we had the idea that it would be hysterical if Harry and Hermione used full-on Muggle contraceptives, with all the attendant mess and hassle. And we really thought that a condom would freak out the Purebloods, so the scene above is my take on that conversation. Thank you, Glitter & Lonnie for what I thought was a truly amusing idea. I hope it turned out for y'all!