Fire is catching

Chapter 10

Authors Note: The games are coming closer and closer now, things are starting to get really serious! I hope you enjoy that chapter.

I lie in my bed unable to move threatened by the upcoming day. I know I should sleep, because this may be my last chance, but I can't. Every single muscle of my body is tensed and I lie there, tears running down my face.

I should've realized it by now. That I'm a tribute. That I'm about to die.

Why? Why me? Why do the hunger games exist at all? How can somebody be that cruel and heartless to put children into an arena like that? Why, Snow? Tell me WHY?!

I press my face into my pillow and let out short sobs as I'm caught up between dreams and reality.

I don't want to be a part of their games. I don't want to obey them. But how am I supposed to stand up to the capitol when my life is constantly endangered? I know that I have no chance to get out of my situation, to change anything. But I also don't want to give in that easily.

I find myself surrounded by total darkness, there is nothing around me, nothing at all. This is what my heart must look like right now, black and empty.

I sit on the ground, my face buried in my hands and hallucinate the upcoming events. I sometimes come back to consciousness and that's when the dark thoughts crawl up from the back of my mind.

You want to survive, right? The darkness in me asks. You want to become a victor? This is all you want… but in order to achieve that you'll have to kill them all, kill them!

I can't kill them, kill Lisanna, Levy, Wendy, Natsu…, that's impossible!

Just wait, once your own life depends on it, you'll kill them all with pleasure. You'll have their blood on your own hands and you won't care. You'll take them down, one after the other one, until you're the only one left. Then you'll be crowned as a victor, a proud, strong victor and then you can go back home, see your loved ones and everything will go back to normal, that's the way it'll be…

This is when I realize that this is exactly how it won't be. I know I can't kill them, I don't want to, so how am I supposed to win then?

I have no chance of winning, not if it means to have to betray my friends. I'm not that kind of person. I'm not that monster my mind tells me I am. I don't even want to be someone like that.

Maybe it would be better if I just got killed in the bloodbath, make it quick and painless.

But I know that this isn't what I want as well. How can I live without having to kill?

I can't just go into hiding, the game makers would surely find a way to get me and the others together.

I wonder what the arena will look like? Will it be a desert? Ice landscape? Woods? Or maybe something completely different?

All those problems and questions wouldn't exist if those games had never been created.

I hate how I am just another puppet of the capitol, how I'm tortured just for entertainment, how my life will most probably be sacrificed just for the pleasure of some capitol citizen.

How could I give in that easily? How could I let the capitol control me? I played along with them, did exactly what they wanted me to do, behaved like a good tribute. But that's not what I should have done. I should have fought against my fate, should've stood up for myself and the others, should've tried to make a change.

But instead I danced on the stage with Plue and made myself look like a desperate idiot just in order to get some stupid capitol citizen to like me.

I sink to the ground, still surrounded by the never ending black nothingness and cry, cry like I did the last days.

I know that crying doesn't help, but I just can't stop. I feel so hopeless, so lost.

If you trip, you bleed. But if you're heart trips, you cry.

I don't want to die, but I don't want to be a monster as well.

I just want to go home.

That's all I'm asking for.

Suddenly I start to hear a voice that I recognize immediately. "Don't cry Miss Lucy, everything's going to be all right." It's Jack, good old Jack who always took care of me. I still remember when he said those words to me. I was a small girl back then and my mother just had passed away. I used to sit in front of her grave crying all day and Jack always tried to cheer me up. Somehow he managed to make me go on and that's something I'll never be able to pay back to him. "Don't you die on me Miss Lucy" Mary whispers in her soft voice. She has a hard life, working in the factories, having to get the food for her younger siblings. But instead of being jealous Mary always was kind and that's how we actually got friends. "You are a good person" lulls the woman who's always drunk, Cana. Cana Alberona also works in the factories. After her parents died very early, she's left all alone. She had to work for a long time already, even though she's still pretty young. Alcohol was the only way for her to escape her exhaustion, that's why she's drunk all the time, but nobody really blames her. She has a very hard life, I can understand that she drinks in order to forget. And even though Cana is drunk every day, she's still a very kind person and we often talked together. I'm glad I can call her my friend.

Jack, Mary,Cana, all the voices of the people I love, I hear their kind words, words full of hope, friendship and love. Words that give me strength.

Right, I can't give up. I have to go home. I have to see them again.

I'm going to give my best in the arena, will try to stay alive, but I'll also try to stay true to myself. Because I'm Lucy Heartfilia, daughter of Layla and Jude Heartfilia, a Celestial Spirit mage from district 8 and I won't let anybody take that away from me.

Finally the darkness around me starts to dissolve and I actually start to see a light, so blinding that I have to close my eyes.

When I open them again I find myself in my room at the trainings center, my face pressed in to the wet pillow.

Was it all just a dream?

I fall asleep haunted by the hunger games but something has changed, something's different than before, I can somehow feel it.

Hope.

I wake up in the morning feeling like I'm about to throw up. Today's the day. Today I'll go in the arena. All my muscles are tensed; my whole body is on alert, my hands shaking uncontrollably, beads of sweat on my forehead.

Panic stricken, terrified, frightened, horrified, nervous, there are simply no words that can describe the amount of panic that's rushing through my body.

I wonder if the other tributes are as afraid as I am. I try to picture a scared Erza but I just don't manage. She isn't afraid of anything, especially not of the games. She knows, she has to know, that she will be a future victor, that the hard training will finally pay off.

I wish I could be that fearless, have that cold determination, but I don't and I'll probably never have.

I try to be optimistic, really, but it doesn't work out, I wonder why (note the underlying tone of sarcasm). At least I haven't lost my sense of humor though. And I'm clumsy as always, I'll really have to pay attention in the arena, one wrong move could mean my death.

It would be really too bad to die because you fell of the platform before the countdown was finished.

Walking out of my bedroom I see a pale Sebastian with dark under eye circles sitting at the breakfast table. Looking at all the food makes me want to puke even more but I sit down anyway and try to choke down some bites of a croissant which I would've enjoyed at another time.

Even Angel and Miranda don't talk, so we just sit there in silence. They all know that we'll most probably never see each other again, so Angel takes me to the side after we all finished.

"Give your best little angel. I'm counting on you honey", then she adds, "And try to not feel sad for the others. Pity is a luxury you can't allow yourself in the arena. Just think that they'll all fade away into the sky and live together with the angels….., I've always wanted this"

I've heard that Angel isn't her real name but comes from her irrational love for angels. Ever since she won the games, she dreams about becoming an angel and fading away into the sky…, or so are the rumors about my mentor. Although it sounds kind of strange, I can somehow understand her wish of disappearing. A lot of victors are somehow traumatized by their experiences in the arena, Angel's wish is a rather harmless one. And I'd actually like to dissolve and wake up in another world and maybe even heaven right now. Way better than my actual fate.

I say goodbye to Angel as she almost bursts out into tears, then Sebastian and I are brought to the hovercraft which will bring us and the other 22 tributes to our final destination, the arena.

We all sit in the vehicle in silence, everybody looking at their feet avoiding eye contact. All the tributes try to ignore Natsu who is lying on the floor trying to hold back the urge to throw up. We all know about his motion sickness, but I hadn't imagined it being that bad. He really is knocked out and I sort of fell sorry for him. Even the medication that he was given by the capitol doesn't seem to help.

I would like to help him somehow, but I don't know how and as everyone else is just ignoring him it would be kind of awkward.

Soon a uniformed peace keeper comes to us one by one holding a huge syringe. As he makes his way over to me I close my eyes and hold my breath. It's childish to be afraid of injections but that's just the way I am.

The pain abates quickly just leaving a chip in my arm. It's pretty small and black and has a coin shaped whole in its middle. I guess this is where we have to put the magic coins in.

I immediately feel somehow strange after I got the injection, like a part of me is missing. Of course, this chip somehow sealed away all my magic power. I try not to panic at the thought of me not being able to use magic. It has always been a part of me and it feels wrong to know that I can't summon my spirits whenever I want to.

I'll just have to get those coins, I don't have another choice.

I'm brought into an underground room where Gerard will do his final preparations before I go into the arena.

The bluish light, the plain white walls, the four peace keepers that accompany me making sure that I don't try to break out, they all make me feel like I'm in prison which probably even is the truth.

Gerard already awaits me looking a little sad "Hello Lucy. Did you know that another special thing about this year's games was that the stylists had to design the outfit their tribute would wear in the arena?"

I shake my head.

Gerard walks over to mannequin on which my outfit is presented. A blue and white strapless top, two blue separate sleeves, a dark blue skirt and black over knee socks.

"It may look a little impractical, but it actually is full of special features. The clothes are heat resistant, waterproof and keep you warm although the material itself is very lightweight. Also depending on the temperature outside your outfit adjusts its heating so that you neither sweat nor feel cold."

Somehow Gerard is different from the other times, he seems so unenthusiastic. I can understand that, designing an outfit for the arena isn't that much fun I guess.

He puts my blond hair into two low pigtails so that it won't be in the way.

Then my stylist looks at me with pity, sadness but also confidence in his eyes. "I believe in you, Lucy. I have ever since I met you, so promise me that you'll do your best"

He pats my head just as a fake voice starts to speak through the big speakers announcing that it's time to get on my starting position.

I slowly walk over to the tube putting all my effort into not freaking out.

I stand there surrounded by the glass that separates me from freedom. In only some seconds I'll be in the arena. I could be dead within the next minute.

I'm so scared, so scared, so scared.

I take in deep slow breaths trying to calm down. I have to focus, focus, or I'm as good as dead already. So I stand straight put my hands against the cold glass and look at Gerard one last time before the tube starts to move and I suppress the need to scream on top of my lungs.

Here I go.

Authors Note: Uuuuuh, the games will start in the next chapter! How will the arena look like? What awaits Lucy and the other tributes? You can read about it next time! This chapter was a rather quiet and thoughtful one, but I promise that there will be more action in the next one. Anyway, what do you think about chapter 10? Please let me know! :D

Natsu: Who cares about that!? Let the games start! I can't wait!

Lucy: Um…Natsu…I think you're a little too excited about it….

Natsu: Why? I finally get to fight Gray, Gajeel and Erza! Thereby I can defeat them all at once *muahahaha*

Gray: Ha! As if you could ever defeat me! I'm way stronger than you squinty eyes!

Natsu: What did you say underwear boy? I'll show you who…

Erza: QUIET PEASANTS! *very angry death stare*

*silence*

Erza: I hope there will be some strawberry cake in the cornucopia, otherwise your head will roll Author…., do you understand?!

Author: YES MA'AM! There are 50 strawberry cakes prepared especially for you in the cornucopia. *scared to death*

Erza: *sharpens sword* Very well then….