The day passed quietly at the office. Everyone tried to stay available to Ezra, without appearing to hover. He would look up to see one or more of them watching him, and smile a bit as they quickly turned away. Nathan and Josiah were reasonably good at covering themselves, but JD and Buck were hopeless at subtlety. Neither Chris nor Vin made any effort to be anything but obvious in their supervision of the man. He fully expected one of both to follow him to the men's room, and while they did stop short of that, he was certain they kept an eye on the door.

He did take some time to extend his appreciation to the Judge, who dismissed the thanks, every bit as uncomfortable as Ezra was with the unfolding of events. The two had never had much to do with each other, more by circumstance than deliberate planning, and to have such a raw emotional event give them a bond was awkward to both. Nevertheless, southern manners and judicial propriety meant that gratitude was expressed and accepted, and the door had been opened to future development of rapport.

When he came back from the meeting he was surprised to see Buck and JD had left. It was early, and they weren't on an active case that he was aware of. He glanced to Vin, but Chris answered the unspoken question.

"Sent them to get some supplies for supper. We're all heading out to the ranch. Throw some steaks on the grill, cook up some stuff to go with." The emphasis on 'all' hadn't been missed. Ezra debated about arguing, and realized he had neither the energy, nor strangely the inclination, to challenge the order.

"That sounds like an excellent idea. I wish you had informed me as I would have been more than happy to supply the items myself. It would be the least I could do in recompense for all you gentlemen have done today."

"Friendship doesn't need to be paid back Ezra. Just returned in kind. You already do that, so we're even." Josiah smiled at him as Ezra looked a bit stunned by the sentiment. It continued to mystify him as to why these co-workers considered him a friend. It wasn't an experience he'd had in the past, and the concept still caught him of guard more often than not and remained beyond his understanding.

"Chris, I do have a couple more calls that need to be made, and I would much prefer to do them in private."

"Told you Ezra, you can use my office for those."

"No, you misunderstand. I would rather not have anyone around. I need to be on my own for these." He saw the look Chris gave to Vin. "I assure you I will not do anything to cause any of you concern. I will come out to the ranch immediately after the calls. You have my word, if that has any value to you."

"Course it does Ezra. I'm not doubting you. I just don't know if it's really a good idea for you to do that drive yourself. I'm willing to bet you fall asleep the minute you settle into those comfy seats in that fancy car of yours."

"I'll wait outside for you." Vin looked him in the eyes. "Can wait as long as you need – I got nowhere else to be. We'll get to the ranch when we get there. The rest can eat without us, so long as they leave a few table scraps." He grinned slightly, relieved to see the reaction.

"Ezra Standish does not eat table scraps Vin. I thought you knew me better. I assure you, we shall arrive in time for a proper dinner, provided you gentlemen have no objection to a fashionably late repast."

"No problem Ezra. We'll pick up a carton or so of chips to tide Buck over until we can feed him properly. You take your time. We can wait when it's important."

Ezra fought the lump in his throat on hearing Josiah's heartfelt words. He nodded, not trusting himself to speak, then turned and went into Chris's office.

"He's too calm."

"I know Nathan, but what are we supposed to do about it. Poke him? Goad him into something? He's processing. We let him keep going on autopilot for now, and stay close."

Dinner wasn't all that late after all, and by the time they finished, most of the plates had been all but licked clean. Ezra's however, had barely been touched. As he left the table he slid the plate to Buck, forcing a smile on his face. "I know you would hate to see such a fine cut of beef go unappreciated. I'm going to enjoy a brief promenade of the grounds."

They watched as he slipped out back, working his way to the stables. None of them would have guessed when the self-describe southern city–boy joined them that he was in anyway an outdoorsman, and for the most part they'd have been right. But put him near a horse, and it was a different story.

The first time he'd visited the ranch and had seen the animals in the corral he'd been drawn to them, and to an exceptionally stubborn beast in particular. Chris warned him off, saying the newly acquired mount did not take kindly to any rider, especially inexperienced ones and had no patience for strangers. Ezra had simply smiled at the comment, and stepped back, thanking him for his concern. A while later he noticed Ezra was no longer with them and, knowing in his gut where the newest team member was Chris rushed to the stables. He expected to find the novice trampled or pinned, and was stunned to see him brushing down the animal, speaking softly to him. The horse nuzzled at a hand full of feed, and gently tossed his head.

"I believe sir, that this magnificent creature has been offended by his name. He does not consider himself to be a "Warrior". He is in fact far more sophisticated than that description would suggest. We have agreed that Chaucer would better reflect his high breeding."

He was almost to stunned at the sight to be able to form a reply. "Uh, sure. That'd be OK I guess. Wait – you agreed?"

"I provided a number of suggestions, and he indicated a preference. Is that not how you determined the name for your fine steed?"

"Yeah – sure." He wasn't entirely sure Ezra was joking about any of this.

Chaucer had been Ezra's horse ever since. And that is where he sought solace now. The horse allowed his man to lean into his neck, braying softly to offer what comfort he could. Eventually Ezra reached for a brush and spent the next 45 minutes giving him a show ready grooming. Then, gently scratching him behind the ears, a move Chaucer adored, he bid his friend goodnight. Vin slipped quietly from his vantage point a few minutes later, passing by the horse on his way. "You're a good friend," he whispered, slipping the animal a favoured peppermint treat, and getting a soft whinny in return.

Vin circled the house to make it appear he was not arriving from the stables. Ezra looked at him that clearly asked who he thought he was fooling, but said nothing. The sharpshooter simply shrugged.

They gathered around the fire pit on the back patio, watching the sky fill with stars as the summer night darkened. It was a companionable silence, disturbed only by the sound from the crackling flames and accentuated by the occasional whiny from the stable or howling from a distant wolf pack. After a time, Ezra cleared his throat, drawing the attention of the others.

"I very much would like to convey my appreciation to you all for your extraordinary determination at obscuring your true thoughts in your desire to protect my feelings. I recognize precisely how you judge my mother, and I can certainly comprehend why you have developed the impression you have. I do wish I could convey to you the true nature of the woman, but I am not sufficiently certain of it myself to express it to others."

No one quite knew how to respond to that, but after a moment Josiah made the effort. "Well Ezra, I don't think anyone would deny that Maude was an interesting and unique woman."

"Yeah Ezra. We aren't so much judging here as we are thinking of how it was for you."

"Nonsense Nathan. Of course you are judging her. It is elementary human nature to form opinions of others. Too often it is done with no evidence, but in this situation I imagine I, along with circumstances, have afforded you more than sufficient material upon which base your suppositions. Why, today alone I clearly chilled your souls with my anecdotes of some of her exploits."

"Exploits? You call what she did to you exploits?"

Chris growled at his hot-tempered friend. "Not now Buck."

"I'm sorry Ezra, but seriously – I do not understand how you can keep offering up excuses for her. She let you think she was dead when you were a kid. Hell, she let you think she'd killed herself right in front of you later. How do you justify that?"

Ezra smiled slightly at the unspoken meaning of Buck anger. He had not gotten used to the idea of others coming to his defense, and he still failed to completely understand why any of these men would feel the need or inclination to do so. But on days like this, he definitely did appreciate the gestures.

"I choose, Buck, to focus on what was gained by such experiences, and how they made me what I am today."

Chris let his mind wander for just a moment, wondering how Ezra would define himself. He realized he couldn't pass up the opportunity that had just been handed him.

"And just what are you today Ezra. What did Maude make you?"

He hadn't been expecting the question. "The southern gentleman you see before you. What would you expect?"

Chris didn't respond, but set his toned down 'don't bullshit me' glare onto his agent. Ezra took another deep breath to reign in his response, and suddenly realized he no longer had the energy to maintain the pretense.

"Fine, you want the truth? The whole truth? What I am Mr. Larabee" – ok Ezra was pissed off – "is an expert liar, an confidence man, a reprobate, and, when needed a cheating, duplicitous, two-faced scoundrel. I am a man who can't be trusted, just ask any of my former colleagues at the FBI. I will take any situation and turn it to my benefit. And, if the situation warrants it, I am renegade who will, at all costs, ensure his own well-being before that of anyone else. All of that camouflaged in a charming, cunning, and totally fraudulent disguise you see before you. That, gentlemen, is what Maude made me."

He stood to walk away, both ashamed and disgusted by his display of temper, and more so by his revelations to the others. He had consumed too many beers, been too tired and too drained emotionally and mentally, to keep his guard up. Now, as a result, he had just destroyed the closed thing to friendship he had ever known. He made it about 6 steps away before the first movement happened. Josiah rose in front of him, effectively creating a wall on his departure route. He looked up at the big man, setting a glare to his face to rival Larabee's finest, but it had no effect at all. Instead, he felt Josiah's hands on his shoulders and before he could react, found himself pulled into a smothering hold. It was the final straw in a day that had turned him inside out, and he found himself collapsing into the embrace as the world spun out around him.

M7-M7-M7-M7-M7-M7-M7

TBC