Thank you all so much for the wonderful reviews. Serious blood rush to my ego! This one is almost over (sort of) but there will be more stories to come. I can't seem to stop.
"Who's he talking to?" Vin titled his head to indicate Ezra's presence outside, pacing past the patio doors while on his cell phone.
"No idea." Chris shrugged. "That's about the third call this morning that I've seen. He was up when I came down. Think he'd been up for a while."
"Ezra? The man who claimed to be unaware of the fact there was an 8 o'clock in the morning?" The undercover expert's preference for long nights and late mornings was well known to all.
"What can I say Vin. He just ain't our normal Ezra right now." He thought back to yesterday's revelations. "Not sure we really know who Ezra is."
"Sure we do." Vin smiled at the puzzled look he got. "He's just Ezra, Chris. Maybe a little more bruised than we thought, but we know who he is – maybe better than he does. I'm thinking now he might be ready to see that too. Move past all the BS everybody has piled on him over the years, and find out what really underneath."
Chris looked out the window, hoping Vin was right. As he saw Ezra pocket his phone, he prepared a cup of coffee for his emotionally drained agent.
"Get all your calls done?"
"As many as I think will be required today. The last call was the morgue. Mother's body has been released, and I have arranged for her cremation. Given the circumstances, I have decided to forego any formal funeral ceremony. It wasn't exactly her style, and I fear anyone who might attend would be there more to gloat than to mourn. I'm not certain I could deal with that in an appropriate manner."
"Oh, I think you'd deal with that kind of disrespect entirely appropriately, but then we'd likely have to arrest you for beating the crap out of folk." Buck reached for the coffee pot as he entered the kitchen. "Actually, we couldn't arrest you, since they'd be hauling all of us in as well."
Ezra laughed at the surprising and somehow perfect image of the team in cuffs being led away in the funereal finery. Buck was thrilled he'd been able to elicit such a response.
"D'ya know what you want to do with the rem – with the ashes –". Vin couldn't believe he was so uncomfortable with the question. Ezra reached out and laid a hand quickly on his forearm, indicating his appreciation of the awkward concern.
"I do have a possible proposal, but I am afraid it would necessitate your indulgence Chris, and after yesterday's discussions, I'm not sure my entreaty would be an tolerable possibility for you."
"Tell me your notion Ezra. Worst I can say is no, and I doubt very much anything you want would be too much to ask."
"The ridge we rode to yesterday? Overlooking the valley? If you have no protestations, I would appreciate being permitted to disperse her ashes there. I do understand that you many not which to have mother's – presence – as a permanent feature on your property, even in that form. But I do believe it might be a setting that would afford her a peace in death that she never truly enjoyed in life. But as I stated, I entirely understand should you choose to rebuff the suggestion. In fact, please disregard this discussion. It is unreasonable of me to place you in such a position. I shall consider a different, more appropriate venue." Ezra turned away, mortified by his blathering. He barely got a step away before feeling a hand clamp down on his shoulder and gently spin him back.
"I am honoured that you would find my ranch to be an fitting final resting place for someone you loved. I hope that you'll let us to come with you when the time comes."
"I'd like to say a prayer for her – if you'd allow for that Ezra." Josiah spoke softly from the doorway, where he and Nathan now stood.
"I think that would be most appreciated. I would like to do this at sunset this evening, if that fits with everyone's plans. Having you all with me would be – would mean –. I would like that very much. Very much. Excuse me." He turned and quickly strode outside, brushing past JD and Buck as they joined the others.
"Morning Ez. Did you get-. Ez?" JD started after him till Buck caught his shirt tale.
"Leave him be Kid. I think everything is finally catching up to him."
"What can we do?"
"Just be here."
No one was surprised to hear Chaucer's hoof beats a few moments later. Chris filled them in on the plans for the day, making some unilateral decisions on Ezra's behalf, giving everyone some tasks to get things ready. He would take Ezra to the crematorium himself, and they could then go by his place to allow him to get a few days' worth of clothing as well. Chris had no intention of leaving him on his own quite yet.
For a change, everything went according to plan. Several friends of the team called off and on during the day, offering condolences, support and of course – food. Ezra elected to speak to no one, but did suggest that they be invited to come out to the ranch later in the evening. "Mother would have enjoyed a wake in her honour." Hell, she would enjoy anything in her honour, he thought to himself.
As the afternoon waned, the men prepared the horses for their ride. Ezra was quiet, as he had been all day, speaking only to answer questions. He saddled Chaucer, not even murmuring to the animal as he usually did while cinching the strap. As he placed the bridle, Chaucer turned and nuzzled into the crook of Ezra's neck. He leaned his head against the broad neck and stood still for a moment. When he moved again, Chaucer gently tossed his head back, knocking Ezra's hat. When he bent to pick it up, a gentle nudge threatened to knock him over. Ezra looked up, squinting at the beast. "Are you trying to provoke me my friend? No, you wouldn't. You are simply trying to get me to talk to you, aren't you? I apologize for my neglect." He finished preparing his right, talking to the horse throughout.
Vin couldn't hold back the smirk as he turned to Nathan. "Now how is it the damn horse is able to get through to him, when we could barely get him to say a syllable all day?" The healer just shrugged.
"Ezra is nothing if not a conundrum."
"Conundrum? You've been spending too much time with him Josiah."
"That would not be possible." He lowered his voice to barely a whisper. "Besides Vin, I think Ezra may be worried he has been talking a bit too much to us in the last couple of days. We're gonna have to make sure he knows we think nothing less of him for what he has shared."
"Less of him?"
"Dammit Buck, lower your voice"
"Hell, it's the opposite. Everything he's been through. To be the man he is now? That's damned impressive."
"Don't tell us – tell him. But Buck, give him a couple of days first."
"Yeah" JD added "and try to be a bit subtle about it." That advice coming from the most transparent member of the team brought smiles to all.
Ezra stood on the veranda, looking up at the night sky. He was tempted to turn off the front light to allow himself a better view of the stars, but knowing the house and driveway lights would remain, he refrained.
He listened to the buzz of conversation from inside. In addition to team some good friends had joined them for the evening. The Judge and his wife Evie along with Nettie, Mary, Casey, and Raine now mingled in the house. The occasional burst of laughter, often followed by urges to hush or settle down. Clearly some of these people had never been privy to a proper wake in the past. He couldn't help but smile at the turn of events. There was no time in his life when he would have envisioned the day he would be surrounded and supported by friends, let alone so many. And, he finally was learning to accept, by family. Not blood kin – he'd long since realized that meant nothing when push came to shove. No, he had the kind of family he had never dared to dream of. The unconditional support and love of six brothers. He vowed to himself that he would do whatever was needed to remain worthy of them.
Vin cautiously poked his head out the door. "Coming back in Pard? Chris wants to make a speech, and since that only happens about once a decade, don't think you want to miss it." Ezra grinned, looked up to the skies one last time, and followed his friend – his brother – into the house.
Sure enough, Chris stood in the centre of the room. He reached out and pulled Ezra beside him, as Buck places a shot of Kentucky Bourbon in the younger man's hand.
"OK – settle down. This is gonna be short."
"Thankfully."
"Heard that JD – not funny. I want to propose a toast to a truly – unique – woman. None of us really new Maude Standish all that well, and sadly it's too late to change that fact now. But we do all have one thing in common. We all, every one of us, owes her a debt. A sincere thanks. Because without Maude Standish – we wouldn't have Ezra." He raised his glass.
"Thank you Maude."
The rest of the room echoed the sentiment, while Ezra quietly looked down at his drink. "Yes," he spoke softly. "Thank you mother for, contrary to all your best efforts, shaping a man worthy of these people."