Hi guys, chapter 5 is finally here. Yeah, it took me a long time to update, I'm sorry. But I was really busy and I had some tests, so I spent every day studying :/ I'm also sorry for all the angst and hurt in this chapter. When I wrote it I was having a bad time, I was feeling down and I ended up reflecting my feelings in the character.

My honest thanks to Zini, Alliecattie3, Mowatts87 and whoknowstv for all the support - you guys helped me not to give up on this fic and inspired me to keep writing. :) And of course, I'm also glad that other people reviewed too, or just read the fanfic. Thank you so much, you guys mean the world to me :3

Right now,I should be doing my homework, but who cares XD

Playlist for this chapter::

Cold Water - Major Lazer feat. Justin Bieber & MO

Don't Let Me Down - The Chainsmokers feat. Daya

F**kin' Perfect - P!nk

It's like once you've been hurt, you're so scared to get attacked again. Like you have this fear that every person you start to like is going to break your heart.

"Mercedes? MERCEDES!"

She was knoct out of her transe by Sam's voice and turned to him, who was holding her hand and staring at her with concern in his eyes. She had been lost in her thoughts since she got in the car. Her mind was busy replaying moments in her head as she stared at the window, but didn't really see a thing. Mercedes hasn't realized that they were already at the school parking lot until Sam shout her name.

"Are you okay?" He asked with a deep voice.

"Yes.." She looked at him and chuckled lightly. "I was just thinking.."

"About what?" He smirked.

She moved in the seat and sat closer to him. "About everything that happened to me this past week, and how it still feel like a dream." Mercedes smiled and raised her hand, and took a lock of his hair in her finger, playfully. "A dream where I met this amazing guy, who said was falling in love with me, and wanted to be by my side even if I break down. I don't know why, but i believed him. Maybe because of the thruth I saw in his greened eyes, or the softness in his voice as he asked me to be his girlfriend. Or maybe, it was his kiss.. Oh God, of course it was his kiss.."

Mercedes glanced at Sam's full lips and then back at his eyes.

"The way his tongue danced in my mouth, as he sucked my bottom lip and left me brethless... So please Sam, if this is a dream, do not wake me up."

Sam smiled and grabbed her face gingerly, covering her lips with his. He kissed her passionately and intensively.

"I won't.." He whispered against her lips when they broke apart. "Because this is real. Thank God it is."

They smiled and kissed a few more times, until Mercedes decided they should got in the school, or they would miss their classes.

Sam quickly got out of the car and helped her open the door. Mercedes smiled and kissed his cheek. They entered the school holding hands, but before they could take two steps, Santana was already in front of them folding her arms across her chest.

"How the hell did this happen?"

Sam raised an eyebrow to her and Mercedes cuckled.

"Long story, Tana..."

The Latina was ready to say something, but was interrupted by Tina's voice, who was approaching them with Mike besides her.

"So you two are finally together?"

"I told you." The asian boy smiled at his girlfriend and shoot Sam a proud look.

Mercedes shook her head and covered her face with her free hand, blushing in embaresment. The blonde looked down at her and grinned.

"Well, see you later guys. Right now, I want to walk my girlfriend to class." Sam emphasized the word "girlfriend'. It felt so right when it came out of his mouth, when he refered to Mercedes. A big smile crossed his face when he thought about it.

He passes through their friends, pulling Mercedes with him. As they walked down the hallway, he notice that every student was looking at them, all eyes were focused on the newest couple of McKinley. Sam smiled as he looked the surprise in people's faces. All he could imagine was that they were thinking how perfect he and Mercedes looked together. Although it wasn't the true, and Mercedes knew it. She held his hand tighter, and buried her face in his shoulder. When they reached her locker, he looked down at her.

"It sucks that we only have English together." He sighed. "But I'll see you at lunch okay?" Sam smiled and leaned to kiss her.

Mercedes pulled back, looking sideways, and Sam frowned.

"What was that?"

"N-Nothing.." She gasped and tried to avoid his eyes.

"Mercedes.."

"It's nothing Sam. I just think that we shouldn't kiss in the corridor, some people don't like i-"

"I don't care." He interrupted her. His voice seemed a little hurt. "Why can't I kiss you here, Cedes? We are a couple, aren't we? And that's what couples do, they kiss, they make out, and they hold hands. Why can't we do the same?"

Mercedes took a deep breath and looked at her angry boyfriend.

"I'm not used to it Sam.. Everything is new for me, this relationship, and everything we do together. Before you, it used to be only me, on my own, and now everything I do, I do with you." She smiled lightly and rested her hand on his chest. "I'm not saying that I don't want or that I don't like it. Acctually, I love it. But I need to get used to it. Do you understand?"

Sam took a while to respond, but then he finally smiled and pulled her into his arms.

"Yeah, I understand." He hugged her firmly, and Mercedes melted in his embrace. "Just promise me, if anything is wrong, or if you don't feel well, you will let me know."

"I promise." She smiled against his chest.

The school bell rang and they broke appart.

"So.. se you at lunch?" He asked, smiling.

"Yes Sam.. See you." Mercedes chuckled as she watched him turn the corner of the hallway. After he was out of sight, she headed to her class, ignoring the gossips and whispers she heard in the corridors. And all of them, mentioned two names.

Sam and Mercedes.

She was falling.

Mercedes could feel it. Her legs were trembling and her hands were shaking. Tears srteamed down her face as she looked to her reflection in the bathroom's big mirror, her fingers grabbing firmly the edge of the cold sink. With a lot of effort, she finally took her phone from the pocket of her jeans, and four letters were all she could text Sam while her mind was still tormenting herself, thinking about everything she heard ten minutes ago.

Mercedes was at her locker, taking her books for the English class when a group of cheerios approached her.

"So, is it true that you're going out with Sam Evans?" The first girl stood next to her. She was skinny and redheaded, with brighty green eyes and rosed cheeks.

"Y-Yes" Mercedes looked at the other four cheerleaders standing behind the one who spoke. Three of them were blonde, with pretty blue eyes and the other was a beautiful brunnete who had a body like an hourglass.

The black girl cleared her throat before she spoke again.

"Acctualy, we are dating."

As the last word left her mouth, the cheerios bursted into laugh.

"Poor girl." One of the blondes said between giggles.

"I'm so sorry for you..." The taller girl raised a brow to the glee kid.

"Mercedes." She looked at them with a confused expression. "I don't understand what you're talking about, but I really need to go to my English class before I get too late.."

She turned around to leave but the brunette stopped in front of her.

"Oh no darling, we are trying to help you.." She rested a hand on Mercedes' shoulder and gave her a fake generous smile. "We think you are just too blinf to see the real thruth behind this relationship."

Mercedes stood in silence, and the gilr took it as a sign to continue.

"Everyone knows that Sam is a really sweet guy and he would do anything to help his friends, even if he had to lie to do down, you know he doesn't want to be with you."

"He likes me, he.. He told me so.." Her eyes were watered, but she held back the tears as she saw the gratification in the cheerios eyes. They wanted to hurt her, make her feel bad for herself again. But she wouldn't let them, or maybe, she would try to.

"Don't be stupid Mercedes!" One of the girls shouted from behind her. "He's lying to you. Sam just wants to make you feel better because you can't get a man on your own!"

At this words, onte tear fell down Mercedes' face, making it's way through her cheek, until it reached the edge of her chin and finally hit the floor. A ball was created on her throat and she couldn't say anything, so she just listened.

"Did you really think he was developing feelings for you? He's a good friend, you know that. I bet he saw how sad you were because nobody would ask you out nor flirt with you, and decided to kiss you or do whatever he did, just for you to experience something you will never have." The brunette rolled her eyes.

Mercedes couldn't breathe.

She was speechless, her eyes were now filled with tears and some of them were streaming down her face.

And she couldn't breathe.

"You'll never have him Mercedes. You know that someday, he'll get tired of you. Well, I don't blame him. " The girl shrugged and chuckled. "How could someone fall for you? You're fat. And you are ugly, do you know that right honey?"

Mercedes eyes met the evil green ones. And she couldn't breathe.

"You're not good enough for him. He is such a hot guy, with a perfect body and he's handsome." She smirked. "You are not his type, and will never be. So let me get something clear here."

The girl approached Mercedes and looked down at her.

"He. Is. Not. In. Love. With. You." Every word followed with a finger pointed hardly against Mercedes' chest. "The only thing he have ever felt for you, is pity."

Mercedes shut her eyes closed and sobbed, droping her books as her hand covered her mouth.

She couldn't breathe.

The cheerleaders said something else, but she didn't hear them, because she was already making her way down the corridor. She started to run, crying all the way to the bathroom. As soon as she entered it, she slamed the door and thanked there was no one there. Mercedes leaned into the sink and bowed her head, focusing her eyes on the red all stars she had on.

Her heart pounded hard against her chest. Her hands, gripped firmly at the sink edge, were shaking and her forehead was sweaty. Suddenly, her legs faltered and she had to lean her back against the cold wall not to fall.

She tried to breathe deeply, although her lungs didn't accept any air. The voices still echoing in her head, repeating those evil but real phrases.

"How could someone fall for you?"

"you know he doesn't want to be with you"

"He's lying to you"

"You're fat. And you are ugly"

Every word felt like a punch right into her heart, as it pounded even faster on her chest. Was she everything people ever told her? Was she this unwanted being that people feel sorry for? She was tired. Tired of being herself, because she was her worst enemy.

Right now, she needed him.

But she shouldn't, because he was something she would never be able to have. He was unreacheble.

But she still needed him.

So she waited, feeling the fear of being hurt again fill her body, as her tears felt uncontrollably from her eyes.

She wasn't there.

Sam looked around the class, hoping to find Mercedes somewhere, but he didn't. She was supposed to be in the English class with him, but it had been five minutes since the school bell rang and Mercedes was never late. Just when he began to worry, he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. He took it and saw the text she sent him, the four words that made his heart stop.

"Help"

His eyes widened and he read the text once again. He felt his breath began to get heavy, and concern took over his body. He needed to find her.

Right Now.

He grabbed his backpack and run out of the classroom, ignoring the protests that came out from the teacher's mouth. Sam walked down the hallway, glancing everywhere around him trying to see her. He was passing by the corner when he heard low sobs. He looked around and ran to the ladies toilet, and flung the door open, but the moment he stepped into the bathroom, he froze.

Mercedes was leaning against the wall, with her arms around herself, as she cried and sobbed out loud. Sam watched her chest raise quickly, her breath getting heavier every time, she was shaking and her legs seemed like they would tremble anytime now and let her fall to the floor. He raised his eyes to her face again, and a wave of hurt, passion and anger filled his body when her brown ones stared right at him.

He could see the pain hiden into them. She looked so broke, so lost. And it killed him. Whoever did that to her, to his girl, deserved to die. He wanted to hug her, pull her into a embrace and hold her tight, to show her he would never leave, show her that he would be there, anytime and anywhere, when she was breaking down.

So he did.

He ran to her, who immediately opened her arms, and melted in her body. His hand moved to her hair, his fingers running lovely but aggressively in her wavy strands. His arm wrapped around her waist, pulling her closer and holding her tightly. Mercedes threw her arms around his neck and buried her face in his neck.

"I feel.. like I'm falling.." She stuttered against his soft skin.

"Shh.." Sam squeezed her back. "I'm here.. I won't let you fall." He closed his eyes and rested his chin on her shoulder. He meant every word. "I'm here."

Mercedes sobbed a few more times, before loosing her arms around him and letting him go, althought she didn't take a step back, and kept her body close to his.

"Was that.. A panic atack?" Sam hold her shoulders gingerly.

She nodded and sighed.

"It has been a long while since I last had one of those... But I couldn't help it.."

"And why? What happened that made you cry out of the blue?" He reached to caress her cheek, but she slapped his hand away and took a step back.

"I should hate you.."

"What?"

"I said I should hate you!" She repeated, raising her voice and looking into his green eyes.

"What the hell Mercedes? I can't understand.. Did I do something wrong?" He rubbed the back of his neck.

"No Sam.. You didn't." She sniffed.

"So why are you mad at me? And why I don't even know the reason for it?"

"Because you should've tell me the thruth!" His eyes widened at her words and he frowned, he was such lost in this conversation. "What? You thought I would never find out? Uh? Yes, I see now what you are doing." She looked away and blinked, trying to hold the tears back. "If you were feeling sorry for me, or pity, you should have told me! Not pretend that you liked me and ask me to be your girlfriend!"

"Mercedes! Do you have any idea of what you're talking about?" Sam shouted. "Because I don't, so please, if you could explain yourself I would be grateful!"

She covered her face in her hands and let out a sob, then took a deep breath and looked up at him again.

"I know you are a really great friend, and you care about me. And I also know that after my confession about my past in glee club, you felt sorry for me and decided to make me feel better. But, really Sam, why did you have to lie to me?" One tear streamed down her face. "Why did you have to tell me all that beautiful things and make me believe that you liked me? You didn't help me, okay? You only hurt me even more!"

"I didn't lie to you!" Sam was losing control. Why did she keep insisting that he's lied to her? "I meant every single word I told you yesterday. I meant it when I said that I liked you, that I was falling for you. I meant it when I said that I wanted to be by your side on your darkness times! So why are you pushing me away Mercedes?"

Nothing.

She didn't answer. She stayed quiet, her head down and looking to the dirty white floor, while more tears escaped her eyes.

"You agreed to be my girlfriend, and you were happy with your decision. What made you change your mind?"

Nothing.

"Tell me Mercedes!"

"The cheerios talked to me!" She cried and walked towards the sink, looking to him through the mirror. "They told me how you just wanted to see me happy, and that I will never be your type nor good enough for you.."

"I can't believe it.." Sam approached her. "Did you believe them?"

Mercedes sighed and turned to him.

"Why shouldn't I? It makes sense, Sam. I'm fat, I'm ugly and I'm a weirdo. I'm the totally opposite of you! How could you or anyone else ever love someone like me?"

"Don't you ever speak like that again!" Mercedes shut her mouth at his words and looked at his angry expression in disbelief. "Don't you dare.. Speak about yourself like that again."

Sam was breathing hard, looking deeply in Mercedes' eyes. He grabbed her hand and intertwined their fingers.

"You are perfect to me, and I'm gonna spend all my days telling you so. You are gorgeous, intelligent, kind and funny. You shouldn't be embaressed about anything, including your skin color or your weight. You keep telling yourself that you are fat and hating yourself, but do you have any ideia how your body drives me crazy?" He bit his bottom lip and used his other hand to caress her cheek. "Damn Mercedes, everytime you walk by, every guy turn around to look at you. And it makes me jealous as fuck. But now you're mine, you told me so. And I'm not letting you go."

He stared at her and leaned closer, covering her mouth with his. Sam kissed her tenderly and passionately, holding her face and with an arm around her waist. Mercedes stood on her tiptoes to deepen the kiss. With the left tears she had, she held him for dear life, stroking his hair and biting his bottom lip. Sam released their hold just enough to look her in the eyes.

"Cedes, you need help."

Seeing the confused look Mercedes had on her face, he explained himself.

"I mean, professional help. Obviously I will always be there to hold your hand and tell you how beautiful and amazing you are, but you won't believe me." He sighed and took her hands in his.

"You think I'm crazy?" The hurt in her voice broke Sam's heart.

"No! Of course not, Cedes.." He caressed her cheek with his thumb. "But if you refuse to accept the thuth coming from me, then you will by hearing it from someone else. Because you need to believe in yourself. So, will you please go to a therapy session?"

Mercedes looked away and sighed heavy. " I don't know Sam.."

"I will come with you. Please..?"

"Okay.." She smiled weakly before looking up to him again. "For you I'll do it."

"No, you'll do it for yourself." Sam replied, pointing at her. "Because, in the end, the only person who can help you, is yourself." He smiled and pulled her into a hug.

"Now.. Can you take me home?" Mercedes said with her face buried in Sam's neck.

"Yes darlin', let's go." He smiled and wiped the tears from her eyes, then took her hand in his and walked out of the bathroom. Even if he didn't want to show it, seen her so hurt and lost had broken his heart. But now she was fine, and he intended to make her feel even better when they got home.

Oookayyy.. Was it too bad?

Please, review if you have any doubts, questions or suggestions - or you can just be a good person and let me know that you are reading this fic XD

So, I haven't even thought about the professional help, but someone mentioned it on the review and I decided to use it to improve the story. What do you think about it?

And, next chapter I may write something more sexual, to develop Sam and Mercedes' relationship. Let me know what you guys think I should do.

Thank you again for reading Suicidal Love, I'm not giving up on you guys, so please, don't give up on me. ( I can be really annoying, but I'm a good person XD )

Love you all.

Beijos - It means "kisses" in Portuguese ;)