Would love to hear from everyone what they think. Thanks to all who are still with me.
The tempest his misery had summoned was no match for the screams he threw toward the heavens. He cursed his weakness, his frail insipid body and for the first time in his life begged for death. There were no words he knew to describe the depth of his hatred of himself. Lightning tore paths of light through the sky and thunder shook the trees to their roots. Slightly could barely see as the rain slashed his skin. He found Peter crumpled on the rock in the middle of the pool, fists bleeding freely from smashing them into the stone. The roses were crushed into the mud, a filthy testament to what had happened here. Somehow he had heard Slightlys approach through the din of the storm. His eyes were bloodshot and not all sane as he watched his friends attempt to reach him.
"Peter! You have to stop this!" He shouted over the tempest.
"Why? Why shouldn't I let the storm drag me to hell where I belong? She's GONE!" Peter wailed.
"What about everyone else, your friends? What about Wendy Peter? How do you think she is fairing in this?"
A small amount of stability crossed Peters face as he contemplated the words. The wind lessened marginally.
"You don't want her hurt any more than she already is do you?"
"No." Came Peters choked reply. The thunder and lightning began to weaken.
"Please friend, we can fix this. Come back home, let us help you." Slightly glided over the water extending his hand to him. "We will talk to her, maybe she will understand."
Peter's eyes instantly darkened and the storm once more gained strength.
"No, how could she? Why should she?!" His last words were punctuated by a dull thump as the undetected Tootles hit him over the back of his head with a club. Peter buckled and collapsed unconscious. The gale receded leaving only a steady shower of rain in its place. The two lost boys looked over their broken leader.
Slightly sighed, "It was for the best Tootles."
Tootles nodded sadly as he bent down and slung Peter over his shoulder. The pair flew off into the drizzle toward their home to care for their wounded brother.
Wendy lay on her berth bed listening to the steady trickle of rain outside the small porthole. The storm had lasted nearly 3 days before it finally concluded into its current downpour. Hook had graciously asked no questions of her sudden appearance on his ship and thought only of her wellbeing since her arrival. He had tried to offer her his personal cabin the night that she had arrived which had embarrassingly sent her into another fit of sobs. He acquiesced and escorted her to a small officer's cabin right off of his own. He had just managed to lay her down and wrap a second blanket around her when she succumbed to sleep.
The next day Smee had been kind enough to bring her fresh clothing, stitch up the cut on her brow and set her fractured arm. He assured her that it should heal in a few weeks. The Captain had not visited her since getting her settled, Smee had been her only companion. Smee was a kind simple man that was content to offer Wendy food and then leave her to mourn in private and attempt to sleep away her pain. She was grateful to Hook for his distance, she was not sure how she had survived the torment of the last three days and the thought of entertaining questions about the incident was petrifying. She had just finally managed to compose herself to get out of bed. Though the restrictive soreness in her chest was exhausting.
Wendy grimaced as she stood and made her way to the small mirror affixed to the wall in her cabin. Her slinged arm made it difficult to move around, but the trousers and linen shirt she had been given were warm and comfortable, though a bit large. As she beheld her bruised reflection she sighed. In her whole life she had never had the need to visit a physician for an injury and in a matter of a few months had obtained quite a collection of scars. These injuries would heal, but the agony in her heart, she was not so sure could be healed.
She felt the presence before she saw it, a light that danced across the room to settle on the trunk at the end of her bed.
"Hello Tink." Wendy was surprised at how hollow her voice sounded.
Wendy sat back on the bed and the two friends shared a time of silence, sharing all that had happened over the last few days without needing to utter a word.
"Is there anyway? Anyway at all to send me back?"
Tinkerbelle spoke softly and deliberately, completely unlike the exuberant fairy.
"There is only one that I know of. With the way lost to us the fairies could transport someone back but only through a sacrifice. And what I mean is, the ultimate sacrifice. Pooling our power the fairies in Neverland could send you back with the power of someone's life force."
"You mean someone would have to die in order to send me back."
"Yes."
Whatever hope Wendy had been clinging to evaporate. As desperate as she was there was no possible way she would ask anyone to pay such a price for her. She was interred here, Neverland would be her tomb. Wendy felt a slight pressure on her uninjured hand and looked down to see the tiny fairy resting her head against her own knuckles.
"I need, time. I truly do not know how much, but I do not think I can see anyone." She swallowed hard. "Would you let them all know that I am alright but that I wish to be left alone?"
A miniscule tear landed on Wendy's skin as Tinkerbelle nodded.
"Thank you."
Tink squeezed Wendy's finger with both her arms in the tightest hug she could manage and then disappeared with a flash of light.
After a time there was a timid knock and Smee poked his head around the door.
"Beggin' your pardon miss, but the Captain is requesting that you supper with him this evening. Food's all prepared if you would like me take you now. Unless you would like to freshin up a bit first." Smee hesitated taking in her somewhat rumpled appearance.
"No, I am fine. I think it is time Mr Smee, thank you." She stood smoothing her outfit with her good hand.
Smee led them down the short corridor and knocked at the large oak door that she had stumbled through days earlier.
"Come in." Came a muffled reply.
The room was lit with candlelight and heat from the small fireplace that was tucked into an alcove. The table was laden with an obscene amount of food. Delicacies ranging from lobsters and oysters to cakes and at least 5 bottles of wine. Her eyes traveled across the never ending feast to her host. This was the first time she was truly able to behold the once villain of her childhood. He was clothed in a velvet coat that was so blue it was black. He wore a black leather vest and trousers and his boots were buffed to reflection. Wendy became more aware of her appearance and began in earnest to smooth the wrinkles from her shirt. The years he had lost in the strange wrinkle of time had done nothing but improved his appearance. The lines on his face had been greatly reduced and the hair which had once hung in thick ringlets around his face were replaced with sleek shoulder length hair that he kept tied back. He seemed taller and even more muscular than in her memories. It was as if the fallen years had also reclaimed some of the weariness that made adults slouch over time. He could have been a king in a different life.
"Good evening Miss Darling." He smiled with charm. "That will be all Smee."
He pulled out a chair and gestured for her to sit. "Thank you for joining me tonight."
"Thank you for taking me in."
She sat and he pushed her chair in, he lingered behind her a bit longer than necessary. Finally he moved to his seat across from her and sat.
"I hate to begin conversations with heavy subjects but I feel this may be prudent. I am assuming that your arrival here marks the end of a certain relationship."
The pain gripped at Wendy heart but she managed a nod.
"I understand. You need not concern yourself, I will not press for details. I do need to ask though, should I be expecting any type of rescue attempt?"
"No, no one is coming. He has, someone new…"
"Ah, I see. I am sorry."
Hook pointedly began to fill his plate and Wendy thankful for the lull in the conversation followed suit. She was so consumed with choosing food that she would not eat that she did not hear him next to her. She startled slightly but if he noticed he did not comment. He filled her wine glass and then returned to his chair. They ate quietly for a time. Wendy did more shifting of food on her plate than eating but she did imbibe in the wine. She assumed that she would need the courage only alcohol could bring to dine with this man. Eventually he folded his napkin and laid it on his plate.
"I expect that you have a few questions for me. With your memories returned and your coming here I take it you do not view me as a villain any longer."
"How did you know my memories returned?"
"While I promised to leave you alone, I never promised to not listen to the information I heard. Not much happens on this island that I cannot be aware of."
"I see, well then I do have a question. Why? Why bring me here?"
"That is a deep question, and I do have an answer for you. But if you would not mind I prefer to save that answer for a little later in the conversation."
"Alright. Then how did you do it?"
"A more interesting question. As you well know many of us have developed hobbies of sorts. Mine was studying the stars. I managed to discover that there was a certain alignment of planets that would allow me to follow a straight route to get to you. The path was only open for a matter of hours and I only found this path days before it opened. I acted rashly, but I have to confess that I do not regret bringing you here. Only the manner of which you have been treated by all since arriving, including me. Before you ask unfortunately the path is now closed. I am, unsure when it will open again."
"Do you have any estimate?"
He hesitated, "I do, yes."
She looked at him expectantly.
He closed his eyes wistfully. "My closest estimate is 280 years."
"Oh…"
"I'm sorry."
"It's not your doing."
There was a pause, "Isn't it?"
Wendy was desperate to change the subject.
"So one thing I have not seen since returning is your crocodile." She looked up slyly.
Hook was obviously perplexed by the precipitous change of conversation.
"The crocodile vanished when you left. I only have theories but I am assuming that because the crocodile represented time that he was no longer necessary to the island."
"So there is nothing left for you to fear?'"
"That is certainly not true. There is a growing list of things that I fear."
"The Piccaninny Tribe remembers a little of what their lives were like before they came to Neverland. Do you remember anything about your life before?"
"Aye. Too much sometimes. I was born sometime around 1650, we did not keep track of dates as people tend to now. I was actually born into a family with titles, but I was a rebellious youth and soon after the bulk of my education was complete decided the pirate's life sounded too thrilling to miss. I was able to work my way quickly from crewman to first mate and within a few years of leaving home had commandeered my first ship. It is an ugly and blood soaked story. There are many things that I wish I could have told young James. For a long time after I came here I wasn't completely unsure that this wasn't hell. But my crew and I have managed to adapt."
"You were able to get back to England, why not just stay?"
"To what purpose and end? The world that we left is certainly not the one that we would find ourselves in now. No Wendy, the world has long since left us behind."
"It must be a very lonely existence." Pity had crept into her heart for this man that had once been a terror of the seas.
"It truly is, and with that in mind Wendy I would like to answer your first question. You asked me why I brought you here, would you allow me to show you?"
He rose and held out a hand to her. She took his hand and followed him to the side of the room. He opened up a large armoire, gowns of every share of the rainbow spilled from the doors, jewelry lay on velvet linings on shelves, and dozens of fine shoes lay on the floor. He gestured to it and then around the entire cabin.
"I would like to give you all of this, little as it is." He said softly. "I want to give you the type of life you deserve. I want to make you happy. I wish to court you, if you will allow it. The timing is dreadful but I fear that it may be my only opportunity to ask."
He was so sincere, his offer so heartfelt and loving Wendy nearly accepted on the spot. But then the events of the last few days came rushing back and she was ashamed to realize that she had nearly acted like, him.
"No!" She nearly shouted, but then gathering herself. "I mean, no, I'm sorry, I can't."
Hurt flashed upon his face before he was able to slam a mask of interference back onto his features.
The pain was so palpable, so mirroring of her own she reached out to comfort him, but he had already moved away to sit back in his seat. She went and sat back in her own chair, shaken by all that had transpired in such a short time.
"I'm so sorry." Was all she could manage.
"Worry not my darling, timing has never been my strong suit." All warmth was quickly leaving his voice, leaving behind the man she once feared. "But what now? Shall I have someone deliver you to the tribe? Or do you have something else in mind?"
"I, that is, I would like to ask for a barter."
Hook's eyebrows raised in true surprise and he leaned back in his chair. "Oh?"
Wendy steeled herself. "I was hoping, for a, a job. A position on your ship, in exchange for lodging and board."
His eyes hardened slightly. "And do you, Miss Darling, have much experience as part of a crew?"
Her cheeks reddened. "You know very well I do not."
"Then what could you possibly offer?"
"I can cook and clean. I am not particularly strong but I have never shied away from a hard day's work."
Hook contemplated her for a time and finished his large glass of wine. "No, I suppose you have not. Very well Wendy, as you will not accept my offer I will accept yours. We can play this game by your rules but make no mistake, if you are to be part of this crew, my crew, you will not be shown favor due to your gender."
"I expect none."
"Fine, report tomorrow to the galley. Cecco has complained for years over the lack of assistant."
"Shall I, move, quarters. I am afraid that I do not know where the crew sleeps."
His eyes narrowed. "Do not be ridiculous. You may remain in your cabin. I will have Smee fetch you some personal items and clothing fit for your assignment."
"Thank you… Captain."
She stood before he could offer assistance. She walked out the door leaving him in the process of standing with an expression of half anger and half incredulity on his face. She did not bid him goodnight, she was afraid that if she did she might just accept his offer. And then she would be no better than the man who had slipped from her arms into anothers. She was halfway down the hall before she heard the sound of dishes smashing to the floor.
Time melted into short moments of clarity but larger stretches of monotony. Her arm healed which greatly improved her functions in the galley. Cecco had been resistant to her initial employ in the kitchen but gradually accepted her, and at times seemed to even enjoy her company. Wendy did everything she could to maintain her distance from the ship's captain but found herself drawn to him when she was not vigilant with her affections. Little things like trying in vain to tie a figure 8 knot while helping with the rigging only to find his hands cover her to assist. He was always too kind, too patient that it took effort not to lean back into his form. Discipline, not to allow a small part of her raw heart to be soothed by him.
"I like to call this the infinity knot." He remarked casually releasing her fingers. "For it seems to go on, forever." And without another word returned to his tasks. Before she returned to her assignment Wendy purposefully stamped out the small spark of light that would ignite during these encounters. She could remain distant and cold. She did not have the strength to be hurt again.
She never again dined with him, though the offers continued from Hook via Smee. But the Captain also continued to refuse to allow her to bunk with the rest of the crew insisting she remain in the officer quarters. And so it continued. She was part of the crew yet somehow always at a distance. She worked hard, kept her watches but never fully belonged with these men. And she always felt the watchful eye of their Captain upon her. Distant, vigilant and longing.
There was also the constant reminder of all she had lost. After a few weeks of storms and rain the weather had turned cold. During the day a mist hung thick and frosty in the air and at night the temperature plummeted forcing whomever was on watch to bundle up in all the layers of clothing they owned. But the cold didn't affect Wendy, she saw it as a mirror to her soul. It allowed her to feel the numbness both inside and out. Her tears at night were becoming fewer and less frequent. She felt that like this she might be able to endure, but forever was an awfully long time…
It was so late that it was early. Wendy stood beneath the weak starlight in her thin cotton nightdress on the upper stern deck watching hulking portions of ice bob in the water. She was so very tired. Months had passed, 6 at her last count and the emptiness that had been eating away at her soul was defeating her. She had tried, oh how she had tried to carve out a little piece of life here aboard the Jolly Roger but something was forever lacking. She cared for the crew and she felt… something for their Captain but it never seemed to be enough to stop up the void left in her heart.
She watched a chunk of ice slip below the water and not resurface. Could it be that easy? Unconsciously her hands slid onto the railing, her chilled fingers too frigid to melt the fine layer of frost. Her heart beat marginally faster than its normal sluggish pace and she stepped toward oblivion. Gentleman Starkey would be blissfully asleep at his watch post in the crow's nest by this hour. There would be no one to stop her. To just slip below the water, everything gone. Suddenly warmth and the scent of fine tobacco, leather and musk surrounded her. The coat pressed heavily against her shoulders both in weight and awareness. Automatically she shivered and gripped the heavy red velvet to her chest.
"It is too cold a night to be star gazing in nothing but your night clothes."
Hook leaned his elbows casually on the railing next to her looking out towards the blackness where sea met horizon. His fingers casually rubbing over the silver of his hook.
"Yes." Was all she could whisper.
They stood there, the shallow waves beating against the hull of the ship the only sound penetrating the silence. Hook's eyes slid from the distance to the briny blackness beneath them.
"I once watched a man drown in water like this. His screams were unlike anything I had heard before. I can only imagine it was the pain of the water temperature. Before we could get to him he was gone, but I will never forget the sound of those screams." He recalled with his brows drawn together. He finally cocked his head to give the paled woman an appraising look. "It was not an easy death."
She gaped at his knowing frosty expression, frozen at his apparent warning. With difficulty she tore her eyes from his to look back at the icy water. Nothing she could think of saying seemed appropriate.
"Are you at all happy here Wendy?"
She drew in a mouthful of icy air, needing the moment to form her answer. "I am, grateful. Grateful and content to be aboard your ship."
He swiveled his weight onto one arm to turn toward her. "Clever words. But that was not the question." He quipped.
She exhaled slowly. "I don't know what you want from me Captain. I am thankful for your hospitality, I try to work hard in return, what else can I do?"
He snorted at her. "Keep your gratitude and your work ethic has never been questioned. It is the condition of your heart that I am concerned with."
"I am not sure I have a heart any longer." She spoke with as much cool indifference as she could muster.
"Damnit, I've had enough of your apathy, girl. What has become of the Wendy I watched across the galaxy? She would not have given up so easily. This coldness, this detachment is not who you are." He gestured at her with his hook in obvious irritation.
"Whoever you think I was, I am not. I doubt I can live up to the illusion you created." She replied wearily as she stalked past him to return to her cabin.
"You wouldn't give yourself to Pan, would you? Is that why he betrayed you?"
His words hung in the air colder than the night itself. Nothing else he could have said or done would have immobilized her as effectively. She pivoted slowly toward him.
"What did you just say?" She hissed.
"Ah, I have your attention now do I?" His drawling affect was betrayed only by the heat of anger in his glare. "He couldn't have you, so he had another? How pathetic, how predictable, how like a… boy. And you? What weakness suddenly came over you that you just left? Dear girl I thought the English were known for their fighting spirit."
"You know, nothing." She spat at him. Blood boiled under her skin, warming her flesh for the first time in months.
"I know that at 13 you had more courage than you currently display. My God, you once defeated me, ME." He roared. "And now you let your broken heart turn you into a sniveling, whimpering creature. Where is the Wendy Darling that I fell in love with? For it is certainly not this person."
Wendy's heart thundered in her chest, her mind sharpened, and her eyes burned with the rage that she had kept confined in the recesses of her soul. Layers of icy detachment thawed from her mind and dripped from her spirit like tears. The coat slipped from her shoulders and fell to a heap on the deck as she strode to him, her fists balled at her side. The pure arrogance etched on his face broke her. She drew back and with all her might punched him in the jaw. His head snapped back. Fury hung thickly in the air, Wendy's breaths were deep and ragged. Hook slowly twisted his face back to stare at her. Not breaking his gaze he raised his fingertips to his face to wipe the small smudge of blood at the corner of his lip.
"That's my girl." He murmured fiercely as he covered her mouth with his.