Disclaimer: These characters belong to Stephanie Meyers.
Chapter 17
Bella POV
Ecstasy (N.) An overwhelming feeling of great happiness or joyful excitement
What do you do when you're stuck in your own silent hell? What can quiet the voices; the noises that taunt the corners of your mind? It's those noises I tell myself that I fear when really it's just my natural reaction to being alone. I tell myself that I like being by myself, that I like having a home to myself with no one to answer to.
In solitude, I find peace, not loneliness. To some, there is no difference, and to some pain is etched in the very meaning of the word. I say that I value my solidarity, but I find pain in my silent hell. I find pain in being alone.
So when there's a knock on my door at nearly midnight on Friday evening, I welcome whoever is coming to rescue me from my thoughts.
It's Victoria, Lauren, and Alice, and they are all smiles tonight.
"What's this?" I motion in their general direction, happy for the company, but not sure, if I truly want to be around people. Only a true loner would understand my mindset.
"You wouldn't answer your goddamn phone!" Alice slurs drunkenly, slinging her body onto the loveseat.
"We were having a fun girls night in my dorm room when Alice shouts, 'this would be so much fun if Bella were here.'"
"I agreed." Lauren pipes in with her hand raised in the air. She also looks to be completely faded.
"So we came over," Victoria says before winking at me. "But first, Bella you have to catch up with us." She takes out two baggies and my eyes scan them slowly only smiling when I see weed. I snatch the bag from her and begin to roll blunts.
"You know what we should do? We should play truth or dare and put it on the web show. Let the audience chose." Victoria says, clapping her hands together before opening another baggie containing capsules. I don't ask what drug it is because it's not my business, but I eye her suspiciously.
She passes the bag off to Lauren who gives it to Alice at which point it does become my business because she's one of my closest friends. I've done heavy drugs with them before, but usually, I could identify what the drugs were.
I watch Alice but say nothing because she's a big girl and it's not like I can choke it out of her. What's done is done, and I have to accept it.
I sit in my spot in the circle they have created and smoke the blunt I rolled. Lauren is swaying to music even though there is no music playing, and Victoria is leaning back on her hands with a huge smile on her face.
"Get the camera," Victoria says, and everyone jumps into action.
Lauren grabs the camera and Alice taps a few buttons on her computer. I notice that they all have this really weird, almost sedated-looking grin on their face.
I start to ask what the hell kind of drug they're on, but suddenly the baggie is thrust in my face, answering my question.
"Bella, you need one," Victoria says, opening the bag as if I'd put my hand out for one.
"I think I'm okay." I lift the blunt for her to see, but she rolls her eyes at me.
"Where's your sense of adventure Bella?"
"Come on Bella. It'll be fun." Lauren pushes. I feel this is a social experiment in itself, and I am so totally about to fail, but I don't care. Somehow saying no feels like declining a challenge, and denying myself a good time, which is something I'm not in the habit of doing.
"Why not? What's the worst that could happen?" I mumble, taking the capsule and tossing it back like it's nothing.
An hour and a half later, I'm shirtless, and my friends are basically in a full-on lesbian porno in the middle of my living room floor. The dares have been outrageous, but whatever drug Victoria gave us made us feel blissful and free. Nothing about this night should have been recorded because it sent the wrong message to our viewers. This should have been private between friends, but instead, six thousand people have viewed it already, and the numbers rise by the hour.
I should have known we'd taken things too far when one of the viewers comments bordered on the line of prostitution.
I'll pay the brunette two hundred bucks to show me that pretty cunt.
Since that day, I could see dollar signs in Victoria's eyes every time she looked at me, and I was almost ashamed because I imagine my dad once looked at my mother much of the same way.