Chapter 6
Don slipped himself into Data's arms, and simply let himself be held. Data's arms tightened around Don's small form, and held him, rocking back and forth, sobbing brokenly.
"I couldn't save him. Why couldn't I save him? He trusted me. He trusted me to save him!"
"I know." Don rested his head on Data's shoulder. The alien smelled like peppermint, or something close. Don sighed to himself, a nearly invisible exhale that Data couldn't notice. If only Hank hadn't lied on Don's deathbed. Don was sure that his counterpart would have said something that would have eased Hank's pain, perhaps that would have even kept Hank from this ship. Well, probably not that extreme, but maybe.
But now what to do? "Hank, I think I died happy. He knew that you were okay, and that was enough for him. He's at peace now."
"He shouldn't have had to die. It was my fault. I killed him. If I had just let him come with me…"
"Hundreds of people, your father included, would be dead. And Hank, you couldn't spend every minute of every day with your brother. You had a life, you couldn't just spend it on him."
"But I was stupid. Popularity? Don was more important to me than that!"
"And if you'd known you were putting him in danger, you wouldn't have let him go. But you couldn't have known that. And what kind of kid doesn't want to be popular? That's not a bad thing. Choices… choices are good or bad based on how you make them at the time, not on the outcome. You made a choice based on what you knew: your father's lab had always been safe before, you already spent a lot of time with Don, and you wanted a social life. Nothing you did was wrong. Don knew that. It wasn't your fault."
"It wouldn't have happened if it wasn't for me!"
"It happened because of something you did. That doesn't make it your fault." Don snuggled closer to Data, letting the tall alien rock him gently.
"Why did I survive?" Data whispered brokenly. "I should have died with him. It's not fair that he died and I didn't! He didn't deserve to die! He was a hero. I… I'm just me. It should have been me. Not him. He was too young, too innocent. Why wasn't it me?"
"He was a hero. And I know it shouldn't have happened. I know he was supposed to live a long life with you, and he was supposed to grow up with you, and that you were supposed to be the first to go, but it's not always like that. What happened was terrible, and… sometimes we don't know why people die. We have to remember them and love them, because even if they aren't alive anymore, they changed the world. And they changed us. We have to honor that memory; that person, because even if they aren't here anymore, they did change things for the better, and we can't just throw that away."
"Thanks. I just… it still hurts."
"You'll never forget him and you never should. But I promise it won't hurt as much later. It may not feel like it now, but you will heal. You will heal, but until that happens… I'm here. I'm right here for you. And I'll always love you."