The Dark Depths of Desire
A/N: Insert usual disclaimer here… Warning: This chapter contains some insinuation of a slash relationship. If this bothers you or is not your thing, then please do not read. Also there is some language in this chapter.
Chapter 2: The Next Step
Remus sat nervously by Hermione's bed as he watched her sleep. The night before, he caught Harry and Ginny as they were leaving late from Hermione's room to ask Harry how Hermione took the news of her condition.
Harry told him that Hermione had cried for hours as she tried to come to terms with the unexpected child in her life. She had confided in Ginny her desire to carry the child to term, and to decide what to do once she had time to think about everything and everyone involved.
As Harry was leaving the house he turned to Remus at the last second. "I told Hermione that Ginny and I would be willing to adopt the baby if she should decide she can't keep it. I wanted her to still be able to see her baby grow up." Harry then turned quickly and left the house without another word.
Remus knew that Harry was angered by the whole situation. But right now he needed to worry about Hermione. Harry didn't tell her everything that went along with the mark she now wore on her left shoulder…and he dreaded being the one to tell her.
Remus's attention was brought back to Hermione as she started to wake from her slumber. He watched as she stretched her body and rolled over onto her side facing him. She yawned as her eyes slowly started to blink open.
"Good morning, Hermione."
Hermione looked over at Remus sitting in the chair opposite her bed and noticed the worry weighing him down.
"How do you feel?" Remus's words were tentative and uncertain. He didn't know how to address her after his actions. He hurt inside knowing that he was the one that caused all of her pain.
"I feel better today. I'm no longer sore. I just need time to adjust to everything that's happened."
"Hermione, I'm so sorry. I don't know what else to say…I just wish I could take it all back." Remus inched forward in his chair to hold her hand in an attempt to apologize.
"It's not your fault Remus. You had no choice in the matter. I'm grateful to you for trying to help me and keeping me from becoming a victim of those animals." Her eyes glistened as she remembered the way the werewolves looked at her with lust in their eyes.
"Hermione, I have to explain to you what that mark on your shoulder means."
"Harry already told me. He said it was an instinctual urge you had to mark me as your mate since I am now…carrying your child." Hermione stumbled on the last part of her statement as she tried to answer him with her usual intellectual stamina. But she faltered as the realization of her words came forward with a sudden dread. They were not just words in a book or a theory she read in the library. This was real, and it would change the rest of her life.
"That is true. But there is more." Remus fidgeted a little as he prepared himself for the rest of the explanation. "That mark will forever bond you to Moony. He will always recognize you as his property and will have a strong desire to consummate his ownership of you whenever you are…for lack a better word, in heat."
Hermione sat up in the bed and leaned against the headboard as she mulled over his words.
"To mark another person in this way is not to be taken lightly. It is usually the sign of a commitment between two people that are in love. And even then some choose to not claim their partner in this manner until there is a child, and the urge to mark them becomes overwhelming."
"Is this not something you can control? You have always been able to control Moony's desires over the years…and with the Wolfsbane…"
"It is not that simple, Hermione. When the urge comes over me I will not be able to control it."
"But you have always been able to control your instincts in the past. You might be able to get around it by…"
"I can't Hermione!" Remus cut her off abruptly. "I know this because I have already claimed another mate. Every time the urge comes upon me I have never been able to control my actions around him." Remus closed his eyes as he realized that he let out to much information about his mate.
Hermione looked over at Remus with shock. "Him? But if you are…? I don't understand? How did you…?" Hermione fumbled her words as she tried to make sense of it all. "If you are gay, then how did you perform that night with me?"
"I have never considered myself gay, Hermione. I have always been attracted to both sexes. It is fairly common among wizards. I just fell in love with this man a couple of years ago, after Sirius's death."
"Who is he?" Hermione was still stunned as she tried to figure out how she would fit into this picture.
"Severus." Remus watched Hermione closely, hoping to see some sign that she would be okay with his hidden relationship with her old Potions Master.
"Severus Snape? The snarky bastard that made all of our lives miserable at Hogwarts? Why have we never known about it?" Hermione's mind was whirling with all of her new information.
"Severus never wanted anyone to know. He is very guarded with his personal life."
"I never knew he had a personal life. Of course I have been wrong about a lot of things lately." Hermione gathered her thoughts before she ventured on to her next question.
"Are you even attracted to me, Remus?"
"Yes, Hermione. I have found myself desiring to be with you for awhile now. I don't know if I would have ever acted on the desire, but I never wanted to cause you this kind of pain."
"Well, it's done. So the question is: do you want this child?"
"With all my heart. Hermione I want to be a proper father to this child." Remus got up from his chair and moved to sit next to her on the bed. "If I didn't already have a mate, I would take you into my house immediately and raise this child with you by my side."
Hermione smiled at his confession. It pleased her to know that he was not ashamed of her or the child that was forming within her womb. "I'm happy to hear that."
"Hermione, Striker threatened me by saying he would harm you if he ever found you again. I want you to be protected during this pregnancy, and Severus has offered his guest quarters in the dungeons at Hogwarts for you to stay. He thought it would be the safest place for you and he could keep an eye on you. Also, Poppy would be right there in case there are any difficulties."
Hermione thought about his offer and realized that it was probably the best option for her. At that time she was staying with a co-worker until she found a new place of her own…so this would be the ideal situation. "If it is okay with Severus then I will take him up on the offer."
"Thank you." Remus hugged her and held her in his arms as he tried to will everything with Severus to go as easily as it did here. "It will all be alright Hermione. You'll see; I will make you happy."
--
The next day Hermione was unpacking her things in her new living arrangements. Severus had picked her up in the morning and helped her apparate all of her things to the dungeons. With his usual sour demeanor he showed her the rooms that would be hers to use during the nine months she would be staying at Hogwarts. She had a fairly large bedroom with a double bed and fireplace, a private bath that had a big tub sitting in the middle of the room that was large enough to swim in, and a small bonus room that remained empty just off the side of her room.
As Hermione looked around she decided to make the bonus area her library and study. She transfigured a chair sitting in the corner of her room into a small desk. She then went through the few items of furniture she had shrunken in her things to find a small bookshelf and her favorite comfy chair and ottoman.
Once she had the bonus room setup the way she wanted she headed back to the main room to start unpacking her clothes. It only took a couple of minutes before she got winded and had to sit down. It frustrated her that her body was already betraying her by wiping her of her usual energy…especially since she was so newly pregnant and not even showing.
Deciding to finish the rest of her unpacking magically, she used her wand to pack everything away in its proper place and pushed her bags under the bed for storage. She looked around and admired the space that Severus had given her. It was so unlike him to be so generous with his quarters, especially with her intruding on his personal space. They would have to share the living area and kitchen of his quarters while she was a guest there; and she was certain that would surely prove to be an interesting dynamic.
Hermione lay on the bed for a few minutes before she decided to venture out into the kitchen to see if she could find something to eat. It was a Saturday, and Severus was sitting in the living room with an old, large book in his lap.
Hermione got to the kitchen and began to open and close all of the cabinets in a search for some food she could munch on.
"Please refrain from slamming my cabinets closed. If there is something you require you need only ask." Severus looked up at Hermione with an annoyed expression.
"I was not slamming the cabinets closed. I was merely looking for something to eat." Hermione turned around to Severus and put her hands on her hips in response to his demeaning tone.
"I would thank you to not go rummaging through my things while you are here. Although you are a guest in my quarters, these are still my possessions and I do not wish to have a little know-it-all nosing around."
Hermione huffed to try and diffuse the anger that was rising in her. "I have no desire to upset your life or search through your personal property. I am simply hungry and looking for some kind of nourishment." Hermione crossed her arms in front of her as she walked over to him in defiance. "In case you have forgotten I am eating for two now."
"Yes, I know. You painfully serve as a constant reminder to me of my mate's betrayal." Severus let out his anger with the whole situation come out at Hermione.
"Is that what you think happened?" It upset Hermione to see Severus so angry with Remus for something he had no control over.
"It is what I know happened."
"That's not fair. He had no choice. Striker was the one that forced him to…perform."
Severus stood up in a huff as he approached her with fury. "Striker did not force him to give you that mark! It was Lupin's own carelessness and selfish actions that now bonds you to him!" Severus pointed towards Hermione's left shoulder with accusation as the rage started to fill him.
"I did not ask for this!" Hermione held her own as the words came forth to defend herself. After all, she was the victim here, not him. "Do you think I went into this willingly?! I am simply trying to make the best out of a bad situation. My only motivation right now is for the safety of this child…and that is it!"
"I find that hard to believe Ms. Granger. Do you mean to tell me that you never once let it enter your mind that you and Remus could go off together and raise this child as one happy little family?" The sarcasm dripped from Severus's words.
"I…" Hermione's words broke off as she truly thought about the scenario Severus painted for her.
"That's what I thought. You best get that out of your head. He is bonded to me."
Hermione stood there in silence, without any words to fill the void.
"How do you think it feels, Ms. Granger, to know that the one person you have committed yourself to in your life, the one person that ever gave themselves to you completely without any expectations or obligations, is now forever bonded to another?" Severus eyed her expectantly as he waited for her answer.
"I never thought about that."
"Well I have." Severus stared at Hermione with certainty of his superiority. He took a deep breath to signal the finality of his patience. "Just get out."
"What?"
"I said get out! I cannot stand the sight of you. Just leave, go to your room and stay there!" Severus turned around and began to pace in front of his fireplace.
"I will not be locked up like a prisoner in this place!"
"You will do what I say!" Severus yelled at Hermione to try and intimidate her into submission.
"We will see about that." Hermione quickly ran into her room and slammed the door behind her. She flung herself on the bed and started to cry uncontrollably. She couldn't help but wonder how she got herself in this mess in the first place?
--
Later, that same day, Remus was sitting at his kitchen table mulling over all of the events of the past few days. He was worried about Hermione and Severus living in the same place. He knew Severus's temper intimately, and he had a feeling that Hermione would not back down.
Looking at the clock he saw that it was already 10:00 p.m. It was late, but he wanted to check up on Hermione and see if she was settled in okay.
Making the decision to go ahead and interrupt her so late in the day, he picked up a handful of floo powder and stepped into Severus's living quarters.
"How dare you!"
"You best stay away from me you little whore! I will not be as gentle as Lupin when it comes to you."
Remus walked right into the middle of a yelling match with wands drawn and pointed at each other. "What is going on here?!" Remus made his presence known to try and diffuse the tension.
Hermione looked over at Remus to find some refuge from the constant fighting. "I cannot stay here Remus. This man is absolutely intolerable! He has put me in the middle of your little demented lover's spat."
"Why you little…" Severus raised his wand and went to hex Hermione.
Remus ran between the two and stood in front of Hermione to protect her from Severus's anger. Severus stopped with fury in his eyes with his wand pointed directly at Remus's throat.
"Severus, please, calm down." Remus implored him.
Severus ground his teeth in anger as he tried to gain control of his actions. "Your little mistress is no longer welcome in my home."
"Severus, please, let me talk to her for a second. I'm sure we can come to some kind of understanding." Remus gently took Severus's wand hand and directed it down to the ground. "Just give me a few minutes with her alone and I will work everything out…I promise."
Severus looked over Remus's shoulder towards Hermione and glared at her to assure her that this was far from over. "I will be in my room." He then turned in a swirl of robes as he headed straight for his room and slammed the door shut.
Remus flinched at the sound that came from the door. He then turned to a furious Hermione pacing in front of him.
"Hermione, what happened here?"
"What happened is that your other mate decided to take all of his anger and frustration at you out on me!" Hermione was still angry and pacing as she tried to calm down.
"Hermione, please sit down." Remus went over to her and grabbed a hold of her arms to stop her from pacing. "Let's talk about this."
Hermione obeyed Remus and sat next to him on the couch. "Remus I don't think I can stay here for nine months. We were ready to kill each other on the first day."
Remus hugged her to his side as he tried to soothe her and calm her down. "I know this isn't going to be easy Hermione. But I have to know that you are safe; and this is the only place I know of that will keep you safe from Striker. I will be out with the pack on the nights of the full moon and will not be able to assure your safety." Remus picked up her hand between them and kissed the inside of her palm.
"Please, Hermione, for me…I need you to try and get along with Severus."
Hermione looked at Remus and saw the desperation he had in his eyes. "I will do my best, Remus. But he has to at least be civil to me. He keeps ordering me around like some prisoner under his authority."
Remus smiled at her, "I will speak to him. Don't worry Hermione, everything will be alright."
"You've said that before." Hermione smiled at Remus. She was happy to have him here to help her with this unusual situation.
Remus hugged Hermione tightly and rubbed her back to comfort her before he stood up from the couch. "I have to go and speak to Severus. Why don't you find a good book to read…that always put you in a better mood. Besides, Severus has some of the rarest books in the wizarding world hidden within his bookshelves."
Hermione raised her eyebrows at his suggestion and got up to go peruse the bookshelves lining Severus's walls.
Remus made his way over to Severus's room and slowly entered with caution. As soon as the door closed Hermione heard the sound of something hitting the wall with force. She was sure that either something was thrown, or Severus had hexed Remus across the room.
She then heard the rumbling sound of Severus's voice as he began to rant and rave. She thought about interrupting them and trying to help Remus; but she knew that Remus knew Severus better than anyone, and that he would be okay.
Hermione looked through the titles that adorned the spines of the books on the shelves and found one that looked interesting. She pulled it from the shelf and went to sit in front of the fireplace to read.
The voices of the two wizards fighting continued to echo through the living area for about ten minutes while she was reading. Once things quieted down she assumed they were finally talking like civilized people.
About a half hour later her stomach reminded her of her hunger as it protested with a loud growl. She realized that she had not eaten anything all day. That could not be good for the baby. Hermione put her book down and made her way to the kitchen to find some food.
On the way to the kitchen she passed Severus's door, and froze in place when she heard an unusual sound coming from his room. At first she couldn't make it out. It sounded like a low rumble or rhythmic drum. She got closer to the door until she could clearly hear.
"Bloody Hell!! Remus! …Ughhh!"
"Merlin, Severus! You are so tight. You feel so good."
Hermione's eyes opened wide as she realized what she was hearing. She could hear a banging up against a wall from their actions.
"Shut up Remus and fuck me harder!!"
Hermione gasped as she heard their coupling become more frantic and intense. The two wizards moaned and grunted as they fiercely found pleasure in each other.
Hermione had never heard anything like it before. But what shocked her even more was the presence of her own arousal between her legs. She couldn't believe how turned on she was by their intimate actions. She stayed there for a little bit as her cheeks flushed with the heat her body was producing. She was utterly stimulated by the sound of their coupling.
Hermione shook herself from her trance and forced her body to keep moving towards the kitchen. She quietly found some bread and juice to fill her up until tomorrow. When she gathered the food she wanted she took it back to her room to give the two wizards some privacy to finish what they had started.
--
The next morning Hermione woke up early and got dressed before she went out to the kitchen to make some coffee. She was sitting at the kitchen table when a tousled Remus came out of Severus's room wearing a dressing robe.
"Good morning, Hermione. I trust you slept well?" Remus greeted her with a smile as he went to fix himself a cup of coffee.
Hermione smiled into her mug. "Actually, no, I didn't. There was this constant banging all night long."
Remus blushed as he smiled and came to sit next to her at the table.
"The two of you will have to remember a silencing charm next time." Hermione smirked in his direction as she teased him.
Remus blushed an even deeper shade of red as he took a sip of his coffee. "I apologize Hermione. I guess I just got caught up in…well, I forgot."
"I assumed as much." Hermione took a sip of her coffee and stared off into the space in front of her.
Severus came out of his room showered and dressed in his full robes.
"Good morning, Severus." Remus greeted him with a smile.
"Lupin." Severus acknowledged Remus's greeting with as little effort as possible. He went over to the counter and pulled out a mug to make some hot tea.
"Don't you have something you would like to say to Hermione?"
Severus turned his face to the two of them sitting at the table with a scowl. "Do not speak to me like I am one of the dunderheads that populate this school."
"I was merely trying to give you an easy opening." Remus placated Severus to try and bring out his better side. He always knew the best way to get what he wanted from him.
Severus grabbed his mug of hot tea and came over to stand in front of the table across from Hermione. "Ms. Granger, I would like to inform you that I regret some of my actions from yesterday's disagreement. I was angry with Lupin, and I took out my anger on you."
Hermione looked at Severus and noticed the tightness of his jaw as he pinched out this statement. "I am to blame in this as well Professor. I was upset with all of the sudden changes in my life, and you just happened to be the closest person to me that took the brunt of my frustration."
"I am no longer your Professor, Ms. Granger. Please do not address me in that manner."
"How would you like me to address you, sir?" Hermione had a slight edge to her question as she easily became frustrated with his orders.
"You may call me…Severus." He bit out the reply through his clenched jaw. Remus knew it was taking everything within Severus to keep his cool and address her without losing his temper. It pleased him to see Severus trying to get along with Hermione, simply to please him.
Hermione nodded her head in acknowledgment of his attempt to get along.
"Good! Now that we have settled that, let's have a nice breakfast together." Remus stood up from the table to go and get some plates and glasses to set the table.
Hermione sat quietly as she watched Remus and Severus pull out the essentials of a healthy breakfast. They both complimented each other as they worked together in complete synchronization. She was shocked how their movements gave away their commitment to each other by the way they anticipated each others needs.
As she sat there in awe of their closeness she wondered how she managed to get mixed up in all of this. If you had told her a couple of weeks ago that she was going to be pregnant with Remus's child and living with Severus Snape in two weeks, she would have laughed in your face. And yet, here she is, watching the two most unlikely wizards make breakfast together.
Remus left Severus with the toast as he turned around and smiled at Hermione. "You look far away Hermione. What are you thinking about?"
Hermione shook herself from her thoughts and focused her attention on Remus as he walked over to the table and sat across from her. "I was just thinking about how drastically all of our lives have changed in these last couple of days. Will nothing ever be the same again?"
"I don't think it can be. But we will make the new things better." Remus gave Hermione a half smile as he placed the prepared food on the plates on the table.
"You know I never thought I would see the day that I would be living with Professor Snape" Hermione smiled at her comment as she began to spread some jam on her toast.
Severus came over to the table carrying the last of the items for breakfast and raised one eyebrow in acknowledgment of her comment. "Believe me, the feeling is mutual."
They ate in silence for awhile as they all regarded each other with uncertainty. Hermione could see the anticipation on Remus's face. He wanted so badly for everyone to get along…but Hermione knew it would take a miracle to change the way Severus felt about her intrusion into his life.
After a few minutes, Hermione went to grab the pitcher of pumpkin juice at the same time as Severus, and they both stopped their movements with one hand on the pitcher.
"Please, Ms. Granger, ladies first." Severus nodded his head to indicate that she should go ahead and take the pitcher.
Hermione grabbed the pitcher and went to refill her glass. "I would like to extend to you the same courtesy that you did for me, Severus. Please call me Hermione." Hermione finished filling her glass and passed the pitcher to Severus. It took her awhile to get used to the feel of his given name on her lips…she never thought she would be using it so casually.
"Thank you, Hermione."
Hermione sighed as she went to take a bite of her eggs. "So…umm, how did the two of you get together? If you don't mind my asking?" Hermione stumbled over her words as she tried to start a conversation. Of course, now that she heard what she said, it sounded so ridiculous and insane to believe that either one of them would be so open about their relationship; especially considering that she was the only one that knew of it, outside of them.
Remus looked up at her and then turned to Severus to try and read his reaction. When he saw no response come from his partner, he decided to tell her a little about how he became involved with Severus. "I'm sure you remember the emotional state Harry was in after Sirius's death?"
Hermione nodded in agreement with his statement.
"Well, I was having a hard time being the rock and constant in his life. I had to show strength and desire to keep moving forward in the midst of the battle, when all I wanted to do was mourn the loss of my best friend. It became very apparent in the Order meetings that I was not myself, and many of the members tried to find a way to cheer me up."
Remus looked over to Severus with affection as he began again, "One day Severus confronted me about my moping about and told me to 'get over it and move on!' He pushed me until I was enraged by his suggestions. We starting sparring verbally until I pushed Severus too far and he hexed me.
"I went flying across the room and landed against the wall." Remus started to blush at his own memories. "He came over to me and stood in front of me with pure rage coming from him. He threatened me as he pressed his body against mine to block my escape and force me to listen to him." Remus looked down at the table as the memories came forward with ease. "It was then that I realized how aroused I was by his passion."
Remus turned to face Severus again. "It didn't take long for Severus to notice my state of arousal…and things just kind of happened after that.
"Now that I look back on it, I realize that we were both taking our anger, hurt, hatred, and frustration with our lives out on each other."
Hermione took in the story and started to wonder about the progression of their relationship. "How did it develop from that point to you marking him, Remus?"
"Well, at first we used each other. I would go to him when it got close to my transformations and I was continuously battling with Moony's instincts. Severus would help me tame the urges. And in return, Severus would come to me after Voldemort had been particularly cruel to him. He would need someone else to feel the pain he received…and I could take it."
"That is enough." Severus stood up from the table and began to clear his dishes. "She is not a part of this and does not need to know anymore. It is personal."
Remus stood up and followed Severus over to the sink. He grabbed Severus around the waist pulled the dark wizard's back up against him. "Severus, I know this is hard for you, but she will become a part of our lives."
Hermione watched, mesmerized by the interaction between the two men. She felt like a voyeur as she watched the intimate moment unfold in front of her eyes.
Severus closed his eyes as he relished the feeling of his lover behind him, comforting him. He always felt so out of control when Remus did this to him. He was never treated with tenderness in his life, and he still didn't know how to process the affection from him.
"Remus…please, not in front of her." Severus made not movement to be released from the hold Remus had on him, nor did he even open his eyes.
Remus leaned over and tenderly kissed the back of Severus's neck before he released him from his hold. Remus did not move out of Severus's personal space as Severus turned in place to face his lover.
"Severus, I know I am pushing you out of your comfort zone. But things will change."
Severus looked over at Hermione still sitting at the table. Hermione froze under his gaze. "We will deal with it when we have to." He then turned away from Remus as he extracted himself from his hold. He walked over to the table to pick up a few more dishes.
Hermione was still locked in his gaze and surprised at how much she enjoyed watching them together. Her breathing had become slightly labored as she felt the tension and desire surge from their connection.
Severus scrutinized her with his eyes as he got to the table. "Is there something I can help you with Hermione?"
"I guess I'm just still getting used to the idea of the two of you together."
"Yes, well, Remus will not have an instinctual desire to mate with you until well after the birth of the child. Your body will not be fertile until then. So please refrain from getting involved in our affairs." Severus turned back around to finish his task of cleaning up after breakfast.
Remus looked over at Hermione with sympathy. "What my jealous lover over here means is that he is rather possessive of his things…and that includes me."
Hermione chuckled lightly at Remus's jest. "This will be an interesting nine months."
"At least it will never be boring." Remus winked at Hermione as he turned to help Severus with the remaining dishes. "Oh, Hermione, I want you to go by Poppy's on Monday to have your first pre-natal exam. I want to make sure that you are in perfect health…especially considering the unusual circumstances of the conception."
"No problem." Hermione smiled as she continued to watch her new pair of protectors. It would be a hard and untraveled path that was ahead of her…but she was excited to see where it would lead her.
--
A/N: This story has already gained a life of its own. This chapter did not end up the way I planned it…but I think I like it better. Severus has some jealousy issues that are making him uncomfortable with his feelings for Remus, but Remus will just have to assure him of his feelings for him. Please review…It inspires me to keep writing. I appreciate the kind reviews I have already received from the first chapter. Thank you!