Chapter Four
Mothers, Daughters, Sisters, Lovers
Author's Note: And, I'm back! Originally, this was supposed to be one huge chapter. Except as I went over it and edited it, I began to realize it was too big. So, I did the sensible thing (for once) and divided it. So, as thanks for your patience over the last ten months, you'll get two chapters for the price of one. For anyone who is curious about the arguments between Padme and Rilla Kenobi's mother. . .they haven't told me what the one mentioned in this chapter was about. . .I just know they don't like each other. At all (and as Leia comments in the next chapter, Rilla's mother brings the absolute worst out in Padme). As ever, thanks to everyone who has read, reviewed, or favorited. Before we head into the chapter, please wish me luck. . .I have a job interview with the NC DMV on Tuesday. And now. . .forward march!
Seconds before Anakin Skywalker's return from his visit with Merit Solo, Asajj Ventress returned from her conversation with Amidala Kenobi. The little girl obviously gave her a lot to think about, and while some parts of their conversation would no doubt be tucked away in her heart and soul to cherish, the entire group needed to know what she learned for planning purposes. Besides, this was Obi-Wan's great-granddaughter and that alone made her of interest to Anakin Skywalker. It made her of interest to Bail Organa as well, and for much the same reason. This was his friend's family, even if he hadn't known about Rilla until after his death.
They were led to the Council Chambers, where Lisseth Warda Solo made her riveting speech. Bail wasn't able to attend that Council, but he heard all about it from both Luke and Asajj. As expected, the former Dark Lord of the Sith gave his report first. He held nothing back, not even the grief he felt when his great-granddaughter pointed out that he never spoke with her before. Anakin Skywalker was many things, but dishonest was not among them. He acknowledged that he could understand why Merit simply accepted that she was of no interest to him. . .even if the conclusion was incorrect.
Once Anakin concluded, Asajj began her own report, saying, I've spoken with Amidala. She's still very young, but has the potential to be incredibly powerful. She's quite fierce when it comes to protecting her father and the rest of her family. And Leia, you should know. . .she detests pacifists. The Force may want to consider depositing her far away from Naboo, and Alderaan, especially since an Alderaanian is in part responsible for her mother's death. Here, she cast an apologetic look at Bail. However, the former prince consort of Alderaan shook his head with a gentle smile, not taking the remark personally.
The former Dark Adept returned the smile gratefully and went on, Ami is wise enough to understand that at twenty-five standard years, Merit is entirely too young to be her mother. . .yet Merit is her mother-figure. More to the point, she's not just her surrogate mother, but also an older sister or an aunt. Thane is much easier to quantify. He is her uncle and her older brother. And she completely adores her father. She paused, swallowing hard as she obviously thought of her own parents, and Bail put his hand in the small of her back to comfort her.
You said that you thought the Force should place them somewhere other than Naboo or Alderaan, Asajj, Obi-Wan observed quietly, what is your recommendation? Bail returned his attention to the auburn-haired Jedi Master. It was so good to be with his old friend, here in the Force. He had missed Obi-Wan a great deal in the years following Mustafar and the Jedi Purge, and kept his dear friend alive in his heart and in his mind by telling his daughters about the Jedi. Like Anakin himself, Bail only ever saw Obi-Wan as the young Jedi Master who survived the Purges (at least physically). .
That, I can't answer, Obi-Wan, Asajj replied honestly, returning Bail's attention to the question at hand. She ran a restive hand over her bare scalp, adding, I just know that Ami would be terribly uncomfortable on Naboo or Alderaan. Naboo, because that was where Palpatine came from and Alderaan for. . .well, for obvious reasons. Yes, it was obvious, but Bail wished people would stop trying to dance around the subject. He was willing to state the complete truth, even if no one else was. A man of Alderaani descent prevented a woman from defending herself, and that woman, Erszebet Kenobi, died as a result.
Obi-Wan caught his eye and shook his head. Bail understood. He would hold his peace, for now. Anakin said quietly, It isn't really up to us. . .the Force will place them where It pleases. If we. . . if I. . .had any say in the matter, they would have been sent even further back. And your Highness, none of us blame you or your citizens for Erszebet death. You are no more responsible for one boy's foolishness than Obi-Wan is responsible for mine. Obi-Wan opened his mouth, but Anakin said firmly, I have said it before, I will say it again, and will say it as many times as necessary. I made my choices, Master. I chose to listen to Palpatine. And that boy chose to push Erzsebet hand down, preventing her from defending herself. Don't take responsibility upon yourself, Obi-Wan. . .because if you do, those actually responsible will never learn.
Hear hear, Asajj murmured, we love you, Obi-Wan, but you take responsibility for the wrong things. Yes, you made mistakes with Skywalker, but anyone would have. Well, there was an alliance one didn't see often. . .Anakin and Asajj willingly joining forces for any reason. They had an uneasy peace, brokered by the tag-team of Leia and Obi-Wan, but it was unlikely that they would ever actually like each other. No one really expected them to do so, however. Simply not arguing nonstop as they did when Asajj first arrived was enough of a blessing. And as Breha was so fond of saying, one took one's blessings wherever they could be found. Especially now, with the galaxy careening out of control.
And as ever, Asajj's words about self-blame made Obi-Wan look uncomfortable. There were times when he really was far too predictable. Shmi Skywalker Lars, who joined them a few minutes into the meeting, observed, And that applies to me as well, Obi-Wan. I raised him for the first nine years of his life. If you blame yourself for his mistakes, then you must also blame me. I laid the foundation. . . therefore, the blame must be mine as well. Both Anakin and Obi-Wan looked uncomfortable at this statement. Shmi smiled and added, I thought as much. Now. That's enough of this self-blame and talk of blame out of both of you. The children need us, and I, for one, have no desire to fail them.
None of us do, Grandmother, Luke said softly, Thank you, Asajj, for the update. Rilla has asked that you join her in her chambers. She realizes you want to return to her granddaughter and when you do, she has some answers for you. Ah. No doubt it was regarding Ami's questions about her family. And Bail was somewhat amused to see the former Dark Adept's expression. . .she looked surprised, overjoyed, and just a little scared. Ahh, yes. The Kenobi charm was as potent in little Amidala as it was in her great-grandfather. Luke looked amused as well, but instead of teasing his twin's dear friend, the former Grandmaster said, We have other work to do for now. . .
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While this meeting continued, other meetings and other dramas were taking place within the Force. One such drama involved a woman whom Anakin despised. And this was no ordinary woman, either. It would not have been a stretch to say she was the most-despised woman in the Force afterlife. Unlike other non-Force sensitives, she was drawn here as a punishment. Oh, some of the others would have said that the Force didn't work that way. And most likely, the Force didn't. . .but Anakin Skywalker did. He may have taken the first step toward atonement by saving his son, but that was only the beginning.
Part of his atonement included rebuilding his relationship with his former Master. From what she was told, Skywalker was always extremely protective of Obi-Wan Kenobi, and that protectiveness only increased with his return to the Light. Thus, when he learned of the night her daughter was conceived, Anakin's rage was terrible to behold. . .and even more terrible to experience. Once, as a young man, he literally brought down a ceiling with his voice. As a Force-spirit, he dove into oblivion and ripped her out. That was painful, in the way sudden cold was painful, or stepping outside during a sandstorm.
Once her consciousness was restored to her, she fully expected Anakin Skywalker to do something painful to her. . .something very, very painful. He did not. He simply pulled her out of oblivion, forced her to face her daughter and Obi-Wan, and then told the others that she was under his protection. If anyone wanted to harm her, they would answer to him. There was no doubt in her mind that his initial action was an impulsive gesture, a fierce desire to 'avenge' his former Master. However, all of that knowledge provided no succor. . .and made her no less of an outcast among her new 'neighbors.' Even gentle Shmi Skywalker Lars was polite but distant to her when they encountered each other.
Sharanya Labun liked to pretend that she didn't regret taking advantage of a sick man. . . the only man who treated her with genuine kindness, even after that night which nearly caused his death. . .after all, she had a reputation to maintain, and not even being dead changed that. However, it wasn't entirely true. Nor was it true that she was proud of what she did, even if she did brag about it (that reputation thing again). She regretted hurting him. She regretted that her daughter never had the chance to know her father as she was growing up. But she would never regret having that daughter.
Aside from Obi-Wan himself and the extended Skywalker family, nearly everyone else hated/violently disliked her. Many of them, Ranya could understand. People who either loved Obi-Wan in life or wished they were a better friend to him. But again, they were at least polite to her. The only person she despised, really, was Qui-Gon Jinn. He made a habit of attacking her family because of her sins. If he wanted to go after her, that was fine. But attacking Rilla and Erszebet, wanting to deny assistance to Aidan and little Ami because of Ranya's sins? Oh, no. That was something else entirely!
Then there was the fierce Asajj Ventress and the pacifist queen Padme Amidala. There were few things on which those two agreed. . .very few things. Ranya was among them. Lucky her. But of the two, Ranya would admit, she had far more respect for Asajj. . .she was honest, about her deeds, about her past, about everything. She supposed she could resent Asajj. . .after all, the woman captured and tortured Obi-Wan during the Clone Wars, while Ranya just used him. But. . .as a former prostitute, Ranya respected honesty. And she didn't have much use for politicians. They weren't that different from the men who used her, only they weren't as honest about it. Padme Amidala was one of the most dishonest. And just as bad, she was also mind-bogglingly weak.
Both her dishonesty and her weakness contributed to Ranya's current argument with the Senator. The little lotus flower glared at her now as they stood in Rilla's chambers. Ranya survived abusive owners, years of being used, the Hutts, and seeing the hatred in her daughter's eyes when Rilla learned of her conception. And she should be intimidated by Padme Amidala? Not kriffing likely. Besides, regardless of what the pure little lotus flower thought, Ranya had a stake in this game. Her grandson and great-granddaughter were going back in time with Thane and Merit Solo were. That made it her business.
Do the two of you think you can have this spitting session somewhere else or another time? Or better yet, grow up and act like the adults you're supposed to be? Rilla asked, her voice betraying not just exasperation, but exhaustion. Ranya gave her nemesis a contemptuous once-over, before anxiously shifting her attention to her daughter. Rilla looked tired, frustrated, and worried sick. And really, how could Ranya blame her? Yes, sending the children back to the days of the Old Republic was the Right Thing To Do, and yes, they would die if they remained here, and yes, Aidan was a grown man of almost forty-five standard years. But! Aidan was still Rilla's son, and she fretted over him. That was what mothers did, after all. . . Ranya was the first to admit, she wasn't a very good mother, as much as she loved her daughter. But she worried over Rilla, even here in the afterlife. And it seemed that neither she nor her daughter were paying sufficient attention to the little lotus flower, for she made an annoyed little huff.
I will if she will, the queen retorted in answer to Rilla's demand that they grow up. Ranya just smirked. I will if she will? And this woman served two terms as the queen of Naboo? Then again, it was also Palpatine's home planet. Either way, it made her grateful she grew up on Tatooine (for once). However, her daughter caught her eye and mouthed, 'don't.' It was rare that Rilla asked anything of her, and so Ranya backed off. Besides, Rilla had 'that' look in her eyes. While Obi-Wan had a hand only in her conception, there was much of her father in Rilla, especially with her ability to get nearly anyone to see her point of view (emphasis on 'nearly'). . . attributes that were honed by negotiating with prospective clients on her mother's behalf while Ranya was recovering from a particularly nasty beating or an equally nasty hangover.
You will if she will? My patience is nearly gone, so let me put it in terms you'll understand, your Worshipfulness. Grow. . .up! When I told you to grow a krething backbone, it wasn't an invitation to become more obstinate than you already are, Rilla fired back. Ranya raised her eyebrows (never mind that she didn't have a corporeal body). Hmm. Interesting. Not a tactic Ranya expected, but it certainly got the lotus flower's attention. . .especially since Rilla was now using the name that General Solo sometimes used for the lotus flower's own daughter (who was, on the whole, about as pleased with her birth mother as Rilla usually was with Ranya). Rilla glowered at the former queen and continued, Now. In less than a week of mortal time, the children will go back in time. I will do whatever it takes to assist them, and I will not tolerate a simpering twit like you causing trouble. You helped to create this mess, you have just as much responsibility as anyone. So if you can't help us, at least stay out of the way. . .and stop antagonizing my mother! She may not have wanted me, but she still took care of me to the best of her ability!
Ranya missed not only Asajj's arrival, but her entry into the conversation, as she was stunned by her daughter's assumption that Ranya hadn't wanted her. But. . .did she ever tell Rilla that learning of her pregnancy was an answer to her prayers? No. She never told her, because it never occurred to her. Suddenly, her daughter's rejection of her so many decades ago took on a whole new complexion. She hadn't just been angry with her mother for taking advantage of a sick man. . .but for robbing Rilla of a loving father.
Rilla, Asajj said quietly. Rilla blinked and looked at Asajj, who continued, You may wish to speak to Shae. I'm afraid she heard some of the argument, and it upset her badly. Rilla closed her eyes, but nodded. She opened her eyes to shoot one last glare at her antagonist, squeezed Asajj's hand, nodded to Ranya, and then departed in search of her daughter-in-law. The former Dark Adept turned a cool gaze to her best friend's birth mother, but said nothing.
It was left to Ranya to finish this, and she had no problem doing so. Rilla and Asajj would look after Erszebet. . .they were better at it, after all. Ranya stared at the former queen contemptuously and said, You're a fool, Padme Amidala. Oh, we could do this all day long, argue over which of us is the worst mother, which of us committed the worst sins. But when all was said and done, I lived for my daughter. You didn't.
Ranya, Asajj said quietly, and the sound of her name from the former Dark Adept startled her. The hairless woman continued, You may wish to go with Rilla. Uhm, why? Erszebet wasn't comfortable with her (to be fair, Erszebet wasn't comfortable anyone other than Rilla, though she seemed to like Obi-Wan. There were times when Ranya wanted to hate him for that). However, Asajj didn't explain. . .merely folded her arms over her chest and tapped her foot. Ranya frowned, but hurried after her daughter and granddaughter-in-law with her unexpected companion. However, she didn't get very far. Asajj took her arm and said softly, Slow down. Ranya stared at the other woman. . .now what? Asajj explained, Rilla has everything under control, but you needed to get away from the senator before you strangled her with her own hair. I know she instigated the most recent confrontation, but you don't have to indulge her. There is too much going on right now, Ranya, and we can't afford the drama. I know for a fact that you love Aidan and Ami, as much as you're capable of loving anyone. . . Ranya glowered at her, and Asajj merely smirked, adding, Don't even try that with me, lady. Won't work. Better people than you have tried. . .and failed. Or died.
Well, Ranya couldn't argue with any of that. She said softly, I can't do anything to help. You know that. But. . .I won't get in the way. That seemed to be what Asajj wanted, for she gave a quick, satisfied nod and released Ranya's arm. Well, that was a relief. . .she knew Asajj was more than capable of twisting her arm off. The two began walking again, and Ranya remembered something her great-granddaughter asked (the idea of asking her daughter was enough to make her want to return to oblivion). And Asajj might know. She asked, Do you know why Aidan has Obi-Wan's last name?
Asajj was silent for several moments, and Ranya was on the point of retracting her question when the former Dark-Adept replied quietly, That is a long story. However, the short version is, when Rilla was thirty-one, she fell in love with and married Aidan's father. Rilla was eight months pregnant with Aidan when her husband betrayed her. She went into hiding, gave birth to Aidan, and swore he would have the name of a man he could be proud of. . .her father. There is, of course, far more to it, and I believe Rilla would tell you if she wished you to know the specifics. General translation, don't ask any more questions. . .ask your daughter. Whatever Ranya was expecting, it wasn't that. My poor baby, she thought miserably, of all the things I could have imagined. . . Asajj smiled at her, a bit humorlessly. There was little to say to that, and the two women continued walking in silence. Asajj was right about one thing. There was a great deal of work to be done, and very little time. . .time that was running out entirely too quickly.
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The ongoing feud between her great-grandmother and Sharanya Labun held no interest for her. And, really, the plotting and planning of her great-grandfather and the others were equally uninteresting. No, Allana Solo had other things to do. . .things she considered much more important. Thanks to their great-grandfather, her younger sister was relaxed in sleep for the first time in ages, and Allana had a few things she needed to tell Merit. She would have liked to speak with her brother as well, but Thane and Aidan were working on the simulator (again). And so, Allana focused on her sister.
Merit was still on Naboo, lying on her back and staring into the sky. She softly called her sister's name, and was somewhat unprepared for Merit's reaction. Her sister rolled to her feet immediately, hand going to the place on her hip where her lightsaber usually hung. Allana's jaw dropped, not just at the swift motion Merit utilized, but the nearly feral expression on her face. Note to self, she told herself, be grateful that you can't wake Merit up in the real world. It would be very hazardous to your health.
However, she chose not to focus on that particular truism, even as Merit's expression melted into shock. Instead, Allana smiled at her sister weakly and whispered, Hello, baby sister. I've missed you. Merit's lips formed her name, but no sound emerged. Allana felt non-existent tears burning as she whispered, Oh, Merit. Half a second after that, Merit was in her arms, face buried in Allana's shift. Allana held her sister tightly, stroking her hair tenderly. Her instinct that this was the right thing to do returned. This was a pain her sister had carried for far too long, and Allana now regretted not coming to her sooner. Some big sister she was! She whispered, tenderly kissing the side of her sister's head, I'm so sorry. . .so very sorry, Merit, I should have come sooner.
Why are you sorry? I'm the one who got you killed! Merit choked out. Allana just hugged her sister again, knowing she had to be careful about what she said. Just telling Merit that she wasn't to blame for Allana becoming one with the Force. . .well, it wouldn't be enough. Her little sister was stubborn, for one thing, and for another, her memories of that day weren't. . .complete. There was so much she didn't know, things that made such a difference.
No, little sister. . .you didn't. I'm going to let go of you right now, but it's only for a moment, Allana told her sister. Merit made an unhappy noise in the back of her throat, but released the older girl. The sisters sat down, facing each other in the Naboo grass. Allana reached out for her sister's hand again. There were so many things she wanted to say to her, but. . .right now, what was important was what Merit needed to know. With that in mind, Allana began, There are things that you don't know, baby sister. . .things I should have told you long ago. Merit nodded, her expression guarded, and Allana went on, First, and most importantly, I knew Father meant to kill both you and Thane.
Merit flinched, ever so slightly, but said nothing. Allana continued, I know that you know that. What you don't know is that Father planned to capture me and put me in a 'safe' place. He tried to capture me earlier, and during the course of that attempted capture, I told him bluntly that I would rather die than live in captivity. He didn't believe me, so I reminded him that I was a flesh and blood woman, not a collector's doll to be kept behind glass and on display…even if that display case kept me 'safe.'
Too late, Allana realized that her sister wouldn't understand the reference. Merit never had a collection of any kind. However, she understood well enough. Allana squeezed her hand and continued, During that confrontation, I was standing between you and Father, remember? You were behind me. I could see things that you couldn't. Merit, Father didn't kill me because I was standing between the two of you. He killed me because he realized I was telling the truth. . .that I would rather die than live in captivity. He killed me because he couldn't control me.
Merit's lips parted, as if she meant to speak, but no words emerged. Allana released one of her sister's hands to cup her cheek and said softly, You aren't responsible, Merit. It wasn't your fault. You didn't kill me. . .he did. And he would have killed me, whether you were there or not. I chose to save you, because you're my little sister and that's my job. I never wanted you to blame yourself, I never wanted to hurt you. I love you so much, and I want you to be happy. That's why we're all working so hard to make sure this trip into the past goes off without any trouble. I. . .
'Lana? Did you sense that? Merit asked in a very small voice. Allana frowned. Sense wh. . .? But then, she did feel it, the same sense of dark triumph flooding the Force. The hand holding her sister's tightened around her fingers protectively. The two sisters stared at each other for what seemed like an eternity, but could have been only seconds, then Merit said hoarsely, He's coming, isn't he? He's coming, and oh, stars end, we're not even close to being ready yet! Of course, there was no question of which 'he' she meant.
There was only one 'he' who could provoke such a reaction from her sister. Despite her proud words, there was still a part of Merit that was still six years old. Within her sister was still that little girl who saw her father's troops murder her grandparents and her mother, even as her great-uncle and cousin dragged her and her brother from the house where they spent the last few years. Staring at her sister now, oh yes, Allana could see that little girl very easily in Merit's wide eyes and the way she was on the verge of hyperventilating. It shouldn't be possible, since they were both in a dream world, but where the Force was concerned, Allana learned a long time ago that there was no such thing as impossible. Damn that little green troll anyhow! Especially since she knew what she had to do, if her brother and sister were to survive.
Allana wanted to tell her sister that everything would be all right. She wanted to hold onto Merit and never let her go again. She did neither of those things. Instead, she took hold of the younger girl's chin, forcing her to look at her and said sharply, This is not over, Merit Leia! You are a granddaughter of Leia Organa Skywalker Solo, and it is our birthright to never give up! The sharp words were, it seemed, exactly what her little sister needed. The façade, which protected Merit in the mortal word, slipped back into place, as her chin jerked up and firmed with determination. Allana hated to see it. . .but it was her family's best chance to survive what was to come. I love you, little sister, she thought as Merit began to return to wakefulness, and I always will. Always.