Author's Note: I'm so sorry this took so long! In addition to my job search, new fascination with Sherlock Holmes, and family worries, I had a problem with a few of the sections. However, I've been in a writing frenzy during the last few days. With the temperature in the triple digits, going outside is at the bottom of my to-do list. So, here we have chapter twelve, and the Solo siblings continue to turn the GFFA upside down. One more apology. . .my fight scenes generally tend to be lousy, and so I more or less skip over that part. Even with that, I hope everyone enjoys the new chapter!
Chapter Twelve
The Choices We Make
Once Merit returned to the quarters she shared with her brother (and Anakin), she found the pair sitting in the common room, talking earnestly. No attempt had been made for dinner. That was actually fine. Thane was less than useful in the kitchen. Merit wasn't very good, either, but she was better than Thane, who once boiled water out of the tea kettle while trying to make caf. He always forgot to use the caf machine, for some reason. Regardless, it took weeks for the stench to leave their quarters, and Merit several months to stop teasing her brother. She was a little sister. . .that was part of her job.
Anakin may not have been able to cook, but he was so eager to help, she put him to work by setting the table after she retrieved the plates from the appropriate cabinet. After all the times Ami broke plates and such accidentally by taking too many at one time, Merit decided it was best to give anyone under the age of fifteen the exact number of plates. Thane could have set the table, but she was afraid he would juggle the plates to amuse Anakin. It wasn't that she was worried he would drop the plates, not with their outstanding reflexes. However, there was always the possibility, when dealing with more than one Force-sensitive juggling, that the plates would bump each other. If they did that, the youngsters often collapsed in helpless laughter. . .along with the plates.
The same thing was true of washing dishes. Thus, she was more than a little relieved when Thane poked his head into the kitchen to inform her that they (all three of them) were invited to Master Windu's quarters for dinner. She accepted quickly, turning off all appliances. Anakin practically bounced out of the kitchen ahead of her (yes, bounced), even though she could tell he was more than a little nervous about encountering Master Windu again. She thought briefly about reassuring him, but decided it would be best if she kept silent. Some things had to be proven. This was likely one of them.
For some reason, despite his name, it was hard to think of this cute little boy as Anakin Skywalker, her great-grandfather. He held her hand as they walked toward Master Windu's quarters, and Merit had a sudden memory of being not quite three, holding each of her parents' hands and being swung at various times, giggling hysterically. She grimaced, shoving that memory behind durasteel doors, locking those doors, and then throwing away the key. Anakin's hand tightened around hers and he asked softly, "Does it hurt, thinking about your dad?"
She nodded. It hurt to think about Jacen Solo. She could believe that he loved his family. What wasn't so easy to believe was that Jacen Solo remained within Darth Cadeus, as Anakin Skywalker remained within Darth Vader. As a little girl, she thought it wrong of Obi-Wan Kenobi to separate Darth Vader and Anakin Skywalker, since they were the same person. As an adult, as someone whose own life was torn apart by her father repeatedly, she understood. It wasn't about lying. . .it was about keeping your sanity. It will not happen again, she promised herself fiercely, we won't let it.
Knowing that Anakin was waiting patiently (for him, at least), Merit explained, "I was very little when my father was taken by the Sith. . .and just a few years later, his troops killed my mother and grandparents. . .his parents." And she still had nightmares about those deaths, about hearing her grandfather scream his wife's name as she died. One by one, they fell. Her hand convulsed in Anakin's as she pushed those memories behind that durasteel door as well.
"Your dad killed your mom and your parents? That's awful! I could never do that to someone I loved!" Anakin blurted out. Merit just smiled sadly, knowing enough from her conversations with Uncle Luke and others how untrue that ended up being. But that hadn't happened yet, and Anakin was still a little boy. If they could prevent him from becoming obsessed with being powerful enough to prevent death, and understand that death was a natural part of life. . .maybe it never would happen.
Besides, they had reached Master Windu's apartment/quarters/whatever they were called, and they were quickly welcomed inside. Merit inhaled deeply and appreciatively. Oh, good. They were coming to the home of someone who could actually cook! Watch it, little sister, Thane growled over their bond as Master Windu insisted they take a seat, or I'll let you deal with Anakin while I go a few rounds with Master Jinn. Merit simply raised her brows at her brother. . .was that intended as a threat? Oh, let's see. . .a few hours with a curious, active little boy, as opposed to any time at all with the Jedi Master who reminded her the most of her father. . .no, there was no competition whatsoever.
She was quickly distracted from this train of thought with the beginning of dinner. Away from the Council, Master Windu proved to be a very enjoyable companion with a dry sense of humor. He even made the effort to include Anakin, who migrated to Merit's lap between dinner and dessert. Once he told all three of them what he could of the Temple and the Republic, conversation next turned to Merit and Thane and their time, without making it obvious that the siblings weren't entirely whom they seemed to be.
Anakin was almost asleep when the door chime rang. Frowning thoughtfully, Master Windu rose to his feet. Merit craned her head, trying to see or hear whoever was at the door, but Master Windu was speaking too fast or too quietly. After several moments, he returned, looking much older. The Korun Master said softly, "We just received word from the Senate. The Naboo question came before them today. Chancellor Valorum ignored the legal precedent and protocol and refused to set up a commission to investigate the claims of the Naboo contingent. The Trade Federation responded by calling for a vote of no-confidence in Valorum's leadership. The measure has passed."
"Sithspit. I hoped that wouldn't happen," Thane observed bitterly. Merit blinked back tears, praying that their enemy would be content with destroying the man's career. . .but she didn't have much hope of that. Thane reached across the table and took her hand, saying quietly, "You gave him the information available, Miri. He made his own decisions, you can't blame yourself." Merit nodded numbly, though she had her own thoughts on the blame. Thane squeezed her hand again, asking, "So what happens now?"
"While the Senate is tied up with the no-confidence question, nothing will be done about Naboo. Knight Solo, your brother is right. . .regardless of who called for the vote of no-confidence, the same thing would have happened. You four. . .excuse me, Anakin, you five. . .will return to Naboo with the queen as soon as it can be arranged. We can't be sure if the Sith was after the queen or us. And honestly, I'm not happy about sending Anakin with you, but the Force is saying he has a part to play," Master Windu explained.
Oh yes. Merit wasn't about to mention what he did in the original timeline. It wouldn't serve any purpose. For now, it was enough that she and Thane were being taken seriously, and Anakin would be trained. Without, it seemed, all the drama of the first time. She had a great deal of hope for Anakin under her brother's tutelage. . .and yet, wondered what would become of Obi-Wan Kenobi. Had they made his life worse by their intervention? She hoped not. He seemed like a very nice young man. Whatever else happened on Naboo, she hoped he would be all right.
SWSWSWSWSWSWSWSW
After the interruption, sensing that their new friend needed time to think, Thane excused himself, his sister, and his new ward, thanking Mace for the outstanding dinner and conversation. He had enjoyed dinner. . .and seeing his little sister scoop Anakin up into her arms, his head resting lightly on her shoulder. She glowered at him as she carried Anakin from Mace's quarters, but Thane was as immune to her glares as she was to his. It was a side effect of maintaining their bond and staying close to each other. Come to think of it, that was probably why she wasn't intimidated by Mace in general.
It was Thane's opinion that was why Mace liked Thane and his sister. They earned his trust with Merit's willingness to subject herself to the memory scan. . . or, at least, the beginnings of his trust. They were in the process of earning his respect. But quite apart from that, Mace actually liked them both, and Thane believed it was because they weren't intimidated by the other man. Where the Order as a whole saw him as Master Windu, Councilor and the likely next Grandmaster, the Solo children saw him simply as Master Windu, one of the first people they met in the past.
He turned his attention from their new friend, glancing quickly ahead of them, before returning his gaze to his sister. In the first moments after they departed, Merit and Thane bantered (quietly, so as not to awaken Anakin). But now, as they drew closer to their quarters, she had fallen silent. Thane recognized this sort of silence. She was not, as he feared, blaming herself for Chancellor Valorum's downfall. She was, however, worrying about the next part of the plan. Master Windu was right. Regardless of what happened with the vote of no confidence, the people of Naboo would find no help from the Senate.
Could four Jedi and a very powerful little boy fight a war on their behalf? They did it in the original timeline with only two Jedi, getting help from the Gungans. What Thane wondered was, should they? In their own time, the four remaining Jedi chose to help those who couldn't protect themselves. . .as opposed to those who would not. The galaxy was a nasty place, and if Naboo didn't care enough to have defenses in place, should he and his sister try to save them? They would, because Amidala was their great-grandmother, but should they? Or should they let the Trade Federation. . .?
"You heard what Aidan said. . .Naboo had the Civil Defense Corps in place. Or rather, has. So it isn't as if they're defenseless," Merit observed softly. Thane smiled humorlessly as they reached their quarters and slipped inside. For that matter, Alderaan had their Civil Defense Corps. . .but that didn't stop the Death Star from blowing it to smithereens, now did it? Merit added, "In defense of Alderaan, not much could have prevented that monstrosity from turning it into so much space dust. I don't think the Rebel Alliance had anything in its arsenal that came close."
Thane chose not to reply. . .he ran the risk of waking Anakin. Assuming, of course, that the little boy wasn't already awake and pretending to still be asleep. . .however, a quick check through their fledgling bond reassured him. Merit looked up at him, her brown eyes reflecting only compassion. No doubt, she believed his reluctance to save Naboo had to do with Lucina's death, and perhaps that played into it. But it wasn't the only reason. Just like his sister, Thane rarely did things for just one reason.
However, he would let the matter rest for now. He asked his sister softly, "Should I take him into his room?" It was actually Thane's room. . .he would sleep in Thane's big bed, while Thane took the floor. Merit considered that for a moment, then shook her head. Thane pressed, "Are you sure? I know he's heavy." He had a brief memory of carrying a nine year old Merit to her room, in exactly the same way, only weeks before their father found the Skywalker base. Of course, he was sixteen as opposed to twenty-five, but he was also taller and wider at the time than Merit was now.
"I'm fine. You forget, the Force is my ally, and a mighty ally it is, too," Merit replied, echoing Uncle Luke's words (which, most likely, were originally spoken by Master Yoda, because as much as he loved Uncle Luke, ninety percent of what he said about the Force came from other people). Merit added as she slid into Thane's room, "Besides, we're almost there. . .and I don't want to run the risk of Anakin waking up if we swap him in mid-step. You know that's a possibility."
Yes, he certainly couldn't argue with that. He eyed his sister with a half smile, and Merit just blushed as she gently placed Anakin on the bed. She was one of the worst when it came to waking up at inopportune moments. . .usually after being moved. That was why Uncle Luke and Ben stopped moving her to her bed after she fell asleep in their respective laps. Thane told her, "I can do the rest. He's my responsibility now, baby sister, not yours. Go. Find Bant, have fun. . .be a twenty-five year old girl, instead of a serious Jedi Knight. We'll be leaving for Naboo before much longer, after all," His sister cocked her head to one side, eyeing him thoughtfully. No doubt, trying to figure out why he would say such a thing, what he got out of that particular arrangement. The bond was silent, as Merit was slowly withdrawing to make room for Anakin.
Withdrawing to make room for Anakin. For the first time, Thane realized what his new role meant for his relationship with his sister. He would no longer have that same bond with his sister, and a lump formed in his throat. He would still have his sister, of course, but it wouldn't be the same. As Merit began to leave his room, she turned to glance over her shoulder at him, with a half smile he could still read. Nothing ever stays the same, big brother. That was true. The words she spoke aloud, however, were merely, "I shouldn't be gone too long, I would imagine. Bant may be with her friends. Call me through the bond if you need me." He thought briefly about telling her. . .well, he supposed it didn't matter. Instead, he ruffled her hair, drawing an irritated glared. However, she said nothing. . .only offered him an eye-roll, and then quietly slipped out the door. That worried him, and he missed the bond anew. His sister was troubled. . .that was easy to see. What wasn't so easy to tell was why, exactly, she was troubled.
And as she said, his current responsibility was Anakin. With a quiet sigh, Thane went into the room where the boy was sleeping. . .only to find him sitting up, looking around in puzzlement. His puzzlement gave way to relief when he saw Thane, and the little boy asked around a jaw-cracking yawn, "Hi Master Thane, sir. . .where's Miss Merit? When did we get back here?"
Thane sat down on the bed beside the youngling, putting a hand on the small shoulder, and answered, "In reverse order. . .we've been back about fifteen minutes. Master Windu received word from the Senate that disturbed him, so we left him to work things out and came back to our quarters. And Merit has gone for a walk. . .she needed to clear her head. Hopefully, she'll find Bant. . .a new friend of hers. . .I think she needs to talk to someone who isn't me."
"Why not? It always helped when I talked to my mom about things. . .even if she couldn't do anything, or I couldn't do anything, I felt better after talking to her. Why can't Miss Merit talk to you. . .why does she have to ask someone else?" the little boy asked. Thane sighed and rubbed the back of his neck with his free hand. How exactly did he explain this? It was confusing under the best of circumstances, and this was hardly the best of circumstances. Anakin added softly, almost sadly, "You don't have to answer, Master Thane, sir. . .I know I ask too many questions."
"No, Anakin, that's not it at all. Merit. . .you know that we come from a bad place. Merit can't talk to me about what troubles her, because I already know. Sometimes, when you're trying to deal with an issue, you need to go to someone who doesn't know the situation, so they can provide a clearer picture. That's why she's hoping to talk to Bant," Thane explained. Anakin was silent, so Thane continued, "Now, I hear you like pod races. As it happens, there's one on now. . .why don't we watch it until Merit comes back?" Anakin's bright eyes widened and he nodded so vehemently, it made Thane's neck ache. However, the unofficial new Master said, "Then get changed into sleep pants. . .new clothes arrived while we were at dinner. . .and I'll get that set up for you."
"Yes! Oh, you're gonna be such a wizard Master!" Anakin crowed happily, throwing his arms around Thane. The somewhat-bewildered Master returned the hug, and Anakin scrambled off the bed. Maybe they had a chance of making this work. While Merit would no doubt be busy with missions, Thane knew he could count on his younger sister to help. Yes. . .if this was the will of the Force, they would find a way to make this work.
SWSWSWSWSWSWSWSW
By this time, everyone in the Jedi Temple knew about the mysterious newcomers. That made it no less irritating when Bant was trying to carry on a conversation with her dearly-missed friend Obi-Wan, and younglings kept asking her about the newcomers. It was already known that Master Solo would be the Master of the new youngling, rumored to be the Chosen One (poor child. . .the last thing he needed was that millstone about his neck). The initiates were wondering if Knight Solo was interested in taking a padawan.
Not surprisingly, these questions caused a melancholy expression to appear in Obi-Wan's bright eyes. He finally shared with her what happened in the Council Chambers. . .although he had to be prodded into it by Master Windu, who stopped to talk to Obi-Wan on his way to a Council meeting. Bant wasn't sure if she wanted to beat Qui-Gon Jinn over the head, thank the Force for leading her to Master Kit, or hug Obi-Wan until he was breathless. She chose the third option, after thanking the Force for her own Master. The first did no good, and she didn't want to shame Master Kit.
Besides, she had to inform the initiates that she wasn't sure if Knight Solo had any intention of taking a padawan, as she was still adjusting to her new surroundings. And speaking of which. . .there she was now, walking along the corridors of the Temple, hands clasped behind her back. She smiled faintly when she saw the younglings gathered around Bant and Obi, a smile that grew warmer as she watched the children. Warm and wistful, that was the best way to describe her smile for the younglings.
Merit's eyes flickered to Bant, then away, and Bant realized the Knight had wanted to talk to her. However, she merely smiled and kept walking. In fact. . . she seemed to be headed to the training salles. Disappointed by the news, the younglings hurried to catch up with the head of their clan. Bant watched her, and then said, "Obi? Why don't we join her?" The Force whispered its approval to her, and encouraged, Bant continued, "I'm sure we'll both be seeing a lot more of her, and if she's to fight by our sides, shouldn't we know how she fights?"
"Perhaps she wishes to be left alone?" Obi-Wan suggested, though Bant could tell that he was as curious about the new Knight's fighting skills as she was. . .maybe even more so. After all, Bant spent a goodly amount of time with Merit before Obi and his Master returned with the Queen's entourage. Bant's long-time friend looked back at her, clearly torn. Bant didn't understand where the conflict. Merit wanted to talk, but didn't want to interrupt her reunion with Obi-Wan. Bant was more than willing to meet her halfway by approaching her in the training salles. . .but she wouldn't attract Merit's attention until after she was finished. Bant liked all of her parts exactly where they were, thank you!
She said as much, explaining, "She wanted to talk to someone, aside from her older brother. She's going into the training salles because she knows that I haven't seen you and didn't want to interrupt our reunion." Obi nodded his understanding, but Bant wasn't finished. She added thoughtfully, "Besides. There's a good chance that at least one of us will end up fighting at her side. I'd like to see her style of fighting. . .it'll also give me a better idea of how often she'll end up in the Healer's Ward."
Obi-Wan made a face at the mention of the Healer's Ward, but that didn't stop him from joining her as she entered the training salle. Merit had stripped off her outer tunic, boots, stockings, and obi, leaving only her inner tunic and trousers. She stood in the center of the mat, eyes closed, lightsaber held loosely out to her side. The first bolt sizzled toward her, and the lightsaber was ignited, deflecting the bolt away from her. Over the next several moments, she deflected each bolt, dancing across the mat. Bant watched closely, trying to decide on her style. . .it seemed like an amalgamation of styles, really.
Obi-Wan noted this as well, murmuring, "She doesn't utilize a particular style, I see elements of them all. But she draws more from the Living Force than from the Unifying. Her footwork could use some polishing, but based on what she told me earlier, it seems likely that she was more worried about staying alive than anything else." Bant nodded grimly. Yes, that was the impression she received from her conversations with Merit as well. Silence fell in the salles and the new Knight extinguished her lightsaber before falling to her knees in an almost-meditative pose.
"You could have come all the way in, you know," she said, eyes still closed, "I would have changed the safety setting for you. Bant, can you throw me one of the towels?" Bant removed the nearest towel and lobbed it at the kneeling Human. Merit snapped it out of mid-air and began wiping the sweat from her face, never opening her eyes, and murmured, "I'm sorry if I interrupted your reunion, I know the two of you haven't seen each other in some time."
"We came in here because we knew that, Merit. Well, that, and wanting to see how you fought. When you were a padawan, did you learn any styles or were you just fighting to survive?" Bant asked, foregoing a gentler line of questioning, as she knew Merit wouldn't appreciate anything less than honest questions. For the first time, the Knight smiled, though it was a tired, sad smile. She gave her face one last wipe, and then rose to her feet. Bant approached her, looking to see if any of the bolts got past her defenses. She looked fine. . .tired, but fine.
"I fight in the same style as my brother, and in the same style that was taught to him by Uncle Luke. Fighting simply to survive. We didn't have time to learn the various forms, though. I'm hoping to get that straightened out. I'm an adequate saberist, but a very good pilot. . .even had my own shuttle. I called it 'The Raven.' Had to leave it in our galaxy, though. I'll miss my baby," Merit answered. Bant smiled at her and Merit smiled back, now with actual warmth in her expression.
"You draw upon the Living Force," Obi commented and Merit nodded, her smile taking on a wry twist. Now why was that? However, before Bant could question her new friend, Obi had other things he wanted to ask about, and queried, "And why do you strip down to your inner tunic and trousers while you're sparring? Isn't it more dangerous?" The wry smile turned mischievous, and Bant bit back a grin. She had cause to know that Merit had a dry sense of humor, not unlike Obi's, actually.
"Actually, it's safer without so many clothes. In the event that a bolt gets through, having less clothing means less of a chance of infection. Now, during an actual fight, I wouldn't have time to strip, but it really is safer. It also means I work harder to avoid getting hit. And yes, I do call upon the Living Force, although I'm more inclined toward the Unifying Force. Living the way we did, we had to live in the moment. . .we couldn't plan ahead, unfortunately," Merit replied.
"So you. . .prefer the Unifying Force?" Obi questioned and Merit nodded. Interesting. Very interesting. She had been pushed into using the Living Force, not by her Master or by her uncle, but by circumstances. Obi eyed her for a few minutes, and then surprised both Bant and Merit by asking, "Might I interest you in a spar, Knight Solo?" Merit blinked in surprise, then actually laughed aloud with delight, her dark eyes reflecting only joy as she inclined her head. Bant removed herself from the mat, and leaned against the wall. Obi had spent much of the match studying the Knight's moves, and Merit hadn't had that advantage. On the other hand, Merit had been Knighted for the last few years. So both her old friend and her new friend had an equal chance in the coming match.
For the next several moments, they moved from finding each other's weaknesses to dancing back and forth across the mat, lightsabers clashing. In the end, Obi was slightly better, taking advantage of her less-than-stellar footwork. Merit ended up on the ground, lightsaber knocked out of her hand, with Obi's own saber knocked out of her grasp. That didn't stop Merit from laughing again, eyes bright with pleasure as Obi held his own 'saber under her chin. He smiled back and extinguished the saber, before holding out his hand to help her up. She took his hand and allowed him to draw her to her feet.
"Thank you, Padawan Kenobi. . .that was most enjoyable," Merit breathed, shaking her hair back from her eyes. Obi was grinning too, the first time she had truly seen his smile since his return from the Council Chambers. The pair shook each other's hands, beaming at each other, and Bant was very glad she had pushed Obi into coming in here. It seemed he needed this spar as much as Merit did. But even she was surprised when Merit asked, "Another round? Best two out of three?"
Obi's eyes narrowed, but then he smiled, answering, "As you wish, my lady. Bant, you'll stay and watch?" As if she would go anywhere else! Obi bowed slightly and said, "Then come, Knight Solo, show me what you can do." That was quite a challenge Obi was throwing at her new friend's feet, but Merit's almost feral grin told Bant that the dark-haired woman was more than willing to take up that challenge. And oddly, she didn't fear losing Obi to Merit. . . rather, she knew that she and Obi were drawing Merit into their circle of friends.
SWSWSWSWSWSWSWSW
There was something about her statement that intrigued him, once he gave into what both the Force and Bant was telling him, and accompanied Bant into the training salles where Knight Solo was sparring against the droids. She was drawn more to the Unifying Force, but utilized the Living Force, because she could only live in the moment. He heard not only what she said, but also what she didn't say. Knight Solo and her fellow Jedi had no idea what the next day, next moment brought, and so, they took each day as it came.
Perhaps it was because of all the talk surrounding the Chosen One during the last day (had it only been a day?), but to Obi-Wan Kenobi, it seemed to him that a Knight who could draw on the Living Force with the same ease as the Unifying Force was already balanced. She used the Living Force because she had to, but he surmised that like Obi-Wan himself, she was given to premonitions. Perhaps even visions, though he hoped not, for her sake. It wasn't just the visions themselves, but trying to figure out what they meant. Even harder was not trying to figure it out at all. After all, Master Yoda always said, 'always in motion, the future is.'
Even so, it wasn't because of her curious statements regarding the Living and Unifying Force that led him to ask her to spar with him. It was simple restlessness, and recognizing that she felt just as restless. Yes, she had a session with the droids, but that wasn't the same thing as sparring with another being. The droids were more or less predictable. . .sentient beings less so. And so, he challenged her. While her footwork had him wincing, Obi-Wan didn't dare underestimate her. She was a Knight for a reason, after all, and had already admitted that she and her fellow Jedi did what they had to do to stay alive. In other words, fighting dirty was expected.
He noticed early on that she kept her midsection protected at all times. There was a reason for that, Obi-Wan sensed, but he would not push it, not today. Nor would he attempt to add to the scars on her arms. There would be time enough to learn later. Instead, he probed her other weaknesses, and was pleased to find that her main weakness was her lack of footwork. That was easily corrected, though he would never presume to instruct her. If it became necessary, he would say something to Master Windu or perhaps Master Yoda, both of whom he sensed would be quite pleased to instruct her. This sparring was to cure his restlessness, her restlessness, and. . .to have fun.
And they did have fun. Even after he beat her for the second time, Knight Solo was grinning broadly halfway through the third bout. He couldn't help but return her smile, even after he once more had her on the ground and disarmed. She was still grinning up at him, breathing heavily. His smile faded a bit when her undershirt rode up her ribcage and a scar could be seen just above her navel. . .a scar that could have been left only by a lightsaber. However, he didn't allow the shock of what he had just seen to reflect on his face. Instead, he extinguished his lightsaber and reached down to offer Knight Solo his hand. She accepted and allowed him to pull her upright.
She knew what he had seen. He could see it in her eyes, saw the confusion, then the resignation and the acceptance. However, for the second time, he chose not to comment on it, instead saying, "Thank you for the opportunity to spar with you, Knight Solo. If I might be so bold, you might speak with Master Yoda or Master Windu about tutoring you in our various styles." She gave him a sidelong glance, as if trying to decide if he was mocking her. When she read only sincerity in his desire for her to improve, she smiled at him once again. . .gratitude for his offer and for his silence.
"I thank you for that suggestion. Perhaps after we return from Naboo, I will make that request of them. I suspect that Master Yoda is among the most dangerous in the Order with a lightsaber. . .but either Master would be welcome to help me hone my skills. As I said, we fought to live, and to protect those in our care. To tell you how ugly things have become in my. . .galaxy, I have fought with my father's primary student three times, the first time as a nineteen year old padawan. Each time, we've fought only each other, with no interference, I've beaten him," she observed. Her dark eyes flickered with a remembered hurt, and Obi-Wan wondered if the hurt was of a physical nature (remembering that awful scar) or of an emotional one. How, exactly, did one handle having a father who was a Sith, and bent on one's complete destruction? He shuddered. He hoped to never find out the answer to that question.
Even so, that didn't tell him how ugly things were in her galaxy (and yes, he had noticed that pause before she used that word, making him wonder what she actually meant). . .it told him far more than that. However, he didn't press her. She had told him during their first conversation that there was a great deal he didn't know, a great deal which she couldn't tell him for a variety of reasons. Obi-Wan put that particular fact in that category. He replied, "We are all what our environment makes of us. My Master often says that our focus determines our reality."
Bant was shooing them to the side of the training salle, insisting that they both take a break. Obi-Wan didn't argue with her. . .having learned the hard way that wasn't a particularly wise thing to do. He noted that Knight Solo made no arguments either, meekly following Bant as she ushered the human Knight off the mat. Instead, she leaned against the wall, running her fingers through her sweat-soaked hair as she considered this statement about reality.
"Hmm. Interesting idea, but I rather disagree. Just because my focus is on being on my ship, doesn't mean my reality is the same. In fact, I make my focus fit my reality. If my wrists are tied above my head and I'm being tortured, my focus will be divided. First, on freeing myself, thus ending the torture, and second, on making a successful attempt. Saying that our focus determines our reality is something of a. . .well, it makes the assumption that there are not outside forces which might prevent that, including a Force-suppressing collar," she replied.
Put in that way, he certainly couldn't argue. Especially if his instincts were correct in saying that torture was the source of her scar. The Force was unusually silent, as if It was wanting him to figure this out on his own. Knight Solo accepted some water from Bant, smiling at her gratefully, and added, "At least, that's how my brother and I see things. People need to take responsibility for their own actions, we must agree to that. . .but by the same token, they shouldn't take responsibility for something they couldn't control. We Jedi have extraordinary gifts, no doubt, and with great power comes great responsibility. However. . .we are not omnipotent."
"Hear, hear," Bant said firmly, glowering at Obi-Wan. He just smiled at her innocently and continued to sip at the water she had provided to him as well. After all, he never claimed to be omnipotent. That really would have been arrogant. Bant rolled her eyes and returned her attention to Knight Solo, asking, "Since you were one of so few Jedi in your galaxy, I'm guessing that you and your brother, as well as the other two Jedi you mentioned, all have some degree of training as a medic or as a healer?" Their companion nodded, taking another sip of the water. She adjusted her position against the wall, wincing a little at a pain in her shoulder or back. A quick glance at Bant confirmed that his friend also noticed the grimace of pain, as well as the likely source of the pain. Obi-Wan had the feeling that if he were to turn his back, Bant would find a way to check out Knight Solo's back and shoulder, even if she had to physically turn the Knight around. But, he didn't turn away. For some reason, he just didn't think it was a good idea. Besides, she was now answering the question.
"Yes, that's correct. Of course, our actual medic was killed before we left our. . .galaxy, during the evacuation from the base. I'm not sure, but I think it was my father who shot him in the abdomen. It was Ral who saved Thane and I after we were captured on. . .when we were captured and tortured. Not just rescued, but he and the other adult in our group were the ones who saved our lives. Ral. . .he was a medic, as well as a commander in the Resistance," the Knight replied. Her eyes reflected anguish as she added, "I didn't find out until the end, but he had feelings for me."
Obi-Wan's throat went dry as he thought about Siri Tachi, and the choice they had made so many years earlier. Based on what he had heard about their galaxy, there would have been no need for them to make the choice. . .at most, they would have needed to put the decision off a few years. On the other hand, a fallen Jedi became a Sith and destroyed his family in that same galaxy. Was it worth it? That question was taken out of his hands, when Knight Solo shook herself, murmuring, "Shall we finish up our set, Padawan Kenobi? Even though I'm quite sure you'll beat me again!"
"Whenever you're ready, m'lady," Obi-Wan replied. Knight Solo smirked, then back flipped to land on the mat, lightsaber out and ready to be ignited. He bit back a laugh, stepped onto the mat, before springing into the air, executing a flip over her head to land on her other side, his own lightsaber out and ready to start the final match of their set. She grinned at him. . .a conspiratorial smile, rather than a predatory one, and he matched her smile with one of his own. Let the games begin, indeed!
SWSWSWSWSWSWSWSW
And so, the deed was done. Finis Valorum realized that he was relieved it was over. As he and that young Jedi suspected, his refusal to bow to the Trade Federation ended his political career, but he couldn't be too sorry about it. . .or about the rules he himself had broken. Perhaps he should have been. Perhaps he should have allowed things to play out and condemn the people of Naboo to sit and wait and die, the way they had in the original timeline. Perhaps he should have condemned young Amidala to call for a no-confidence vote in his leadership.
But that was the problem. . .what kind of leader would he have been, had he meekly allowed things to continue? Yes, the Senate was important, but he was the Chancellor, and it was his job to make such decisions. He would not. . .he could not regret his choice, regardless of the consequences to himself. Yes, Amidala would be forced to act on her own, without the support of the Senate as a whole. But at least this would be taken from her shoulders. He still thought the people of Naboo were foolish to elect a child as their monarch, but that was on their heads.
He thought next about the young girl who had come to visit him, Knight Merit Solo. There was no doubt in Valorum's mind that he would meet with an unfortunate accident, especially since he hadn't nicely followed along with the architect's plans. There was also no doubt that the young Jedi would blame herself for his death, but it wouldn't be her fault. She presented the information to him. The choice was his. Even after he agreed to her request, he could have changed her mind. . .certainly, it was the sort of thing a politician was expected to do. But he had followed through with his promise. His choice, not hers. He hoped she would accept that.
So now, all he had to do was wait. He had told his wife about what he had done. She was shocked, but promised to support him. He didn't have the heart to tell her that he might not come home alive. Even so, it meant the galaxy to him that she would stand by him. She understood, in a way only a politician's wife or a soldier's wife ever could: the legacy each person left wasn't just the defeats and the victories, but also the choices that each person made.
Even if his life ended tonight, he decided, he could live with that.