Author's Notes: Oh dear Lord … I am so sorry it's taken me a year to update this! That was not my intention … several other stories have demanded my attention, along with other factors (working intermittently, trying to arrange a trip to DragonCon to meet John Barrowman and John Rhys-Davies, and the ever-present job hunt). While I can't offer the extra-long chapter I would like to provide (otherwise, you'd be waiting another year for an update), I can give you this update, which starts exploring the ramifications of Thane's death … not just to his sister, but to the Order as a whole. Thane's death … and Qui-Gon's continued existence … impacts many people, both directly and indirectly. In this chapter, Merit grieves for her brother and tries to draw strength from those who have gone before; Yan Dooku makes a plan to honor the bargain he made with Thane; while another sacrifice is made. I don't remember if a given name was ever provided for Palpatine … so I appropriated the name of the king in Dragonheart (David Thewlis).
Chapter Sixteen
Loss
They were making common cause on her behalf. The thought should have made Merit smile, but right now, she felt nothing. There was a dull ache in her chest, and her head felt as if it was stuffed with cotton, but aside from that, she felt nothing. And that? That scared her. Thane was all she had left in the universe, in any universe. She wanted to grieve for her brother, her protector, her Master. But, she felt nothing. She should be feeling something, with the destruction of their bond. Yes, she retreated a little, when Anakin was placed in her brother's care, but not this much. No. No, because she felt it when the Sith's 'saber ran him through.
So what was wrong with her? She leaned her head against the wall of the turbo, grateful that the shower was producing water. Sonic showers were fine, but right now, she needed water. Merit turned her face up to the water, letting it flow over her body. It wouldn't wash away the guilt or the grief or the howling fury that would soon tear through her. It wouldn't make her soul clean again. But it would clean her body, and that would give her the strength she needed to clean her soul with meditation. The warm water would ease the tense muscles and make it far harder to tell that she'd been crying. They would know, but they wouldn't see the evidence.
She was alone now. Thane was dead, and it would be some time before he was strong enough to reach out to her from the Force. Thane was dead. She had no idea where their two partners were … or rather when they were. Great stars, temporal mechanics gave her a headache. She didn't fully understand this time, or this galaxy, or this Jedi Order. And she was without her big brother. For the first time in her memory, she was truly alone. No grandparents, no parents, no siblings, no uncle, no cousin, no Aidan or Ami … just Merit.
The young Knight swallowed hard and forced herself to remember her grandmother, in those awful days after Alderaan was destroyed. The only family she'd ever known was ripped away from her … her planet, beautiful Alderaan, was reduced to so much space dust … and Leia herself? Well, she was a captive of the Empire; but then, her older twin brother arrived to rescue her. And that was the beginning of the formation of a new family for Leia Organa Skywalker. She didn't know it at the time, of course. How could she? But she found a new family in the young man she eventually learned was her twin brother … in the roguish smuggler she eventually married and his closest friend/co-pilot, the Wookie Chewbacca.
She thought about her brother, about those who sacrificed their lives to buy the Four time … especially Ral. Merit smiled in spite of herself at the thought of her friend, who could have been more in a different time and place. Dear Ral, who never told her how he felt about her … would it have made a difference? She didn't know. But he sacrificed himself to save the galaxy … he and so many others … she owed it to them to complete the mission. Even if she was alone … but she wasn't alone. She had to remember that. She heard Master Yoda refer to the Force as a mighty ally, and it was. But that wasn't the only thing. Merit had the example of her grandmother, who sacrificed her life to save Merit and Thane so many years earlier.
So, it was up to Merit to follow her grandmother's example and create a new family, in this Old Jedi Order. She liked the idea of 'adopting' Bant as her sister; they were already friends, after all. And Mace Windu … might she find an uncle in him? Obi-Wan … she wasn't sure about where he would fit into this new family she was creating. Not yet. Things could go so many different ways. Or maybe, it would have been more proper to say that she would allow herself to be absorbed into this family, which already existed. Yes, that was much better. And there really wasn't any question of whether joining this family was a betrayal of those she loved. That wasn't how Luke Skywalker raised his grand-nephew and grand-niece. The truth was, she couldn't be betraying her family, because if she succeeded, she would be saving her family.
But despite those fine words, Merit Leia Solo was a lonely, frightened young woman who just lost the only family she had remaining. And now, she had no distractions, no diversions of duty. The previous day, she was completely occupied with assisting in the clean-up and looking after Anakin … and that was how she wanted it. But now, she had the time to grieve … and she was alone to do it. As the water ran down her skin and soaked her hair, she leaned against the wall and wept. For this short a time, she would allow herself to be selfish and grieve for those lost to her, even as she understood that the person she was grieving for the most was herself. But, once this shower was complete, she would get dressed, return to Obi-Wan and Anakin, and make sure her mask was firmly in place. There were people depending on her, and Merit was absolutely determined not to let anyone down. She came to the past for a reason, to save the people who meant the most to her. She couldn't do that if she stayed in the shower and cried forever.
When she was sure she had no more tears left, Merit turned her face up to the spray once more, giving herself time to compose herself. Once she felt strong enough, she turned off the water and dried herself, slipping into her undergarments. Next came her tunic and leggings, and the familiarity of the ritual of dressing helped to calm her further, quieting her nerves and offering a comfort of its own. Finally, Merit pulled her long dark hair into her favored style … the ends tucked in at the nape of her neck, and a barrette to hold it in place. The one time she tried to wear the twin buns that her grandmother favored as a young woman, things got … messy.
Merit's smile grew a little brighter at the memory … not just of the mess she made of her hair, but the expression on Uncle Luke's face when he saw her. She'd never seen a man looking as if he would laugh and cry at the same time, until Uncle Luke's face that day. For just a moment, Merit couldn't be sure if he would laugh, cry, or turn her over his knee. In the end, though, he only shook his head and sat her down, before carefully styling her hair to match that of his twin's. When he was done, he put his hands on her shoulders, whispering, 'if you're trying to be Leia, you don't have to do that. I want you to be Merit, and I know your grandmother would feel the same way.' And, he was probably right. Scratch that, she knew that he was right.
But she didn't regret her attempts to emulate her grandmother. If nothing else, it taught her that trying to look like Leia Organa Skywalker Solo wouldn't change anything inside her soul. Wearing her hair the same way as her grandmother did when she was a girl wouldn't make her more like her grandmother. Now, nearly fifteen years later, Merit wiped away the tears and lifted her chin proudly. She said softly as she stared into the mirror, "You were right, Uncle Luke, and I know that. But right now, in this moment, I need as much of Grandmother's strength as I can get. I need Grandmother's strength, Grandfather's cunning, and your kindness. Because I'm not sure I have enough of any of that to succeed."
She would have to have enough, though. Merit was aware that her brother Thane met with Yan Dooku before they departed for Naboo. She was also reasonably aware that Thane struck a deal with the elder Jedi Master … Thane promised to save Dooku's former padawan, Qui-Gon Jinn, in exchange for Dooku's promise to remain in the light. Oh, it wasn't exactly like that, but it was close enough. And she didn't need the bond to know that. She just needed to know her brother. So, Thane's end of the bargain was fulfilled. She wondered briefly what form Dooku's end of the bargain would take, and then decided that she didn't care. No, Merit only cared that her brother didn't die in vain. How he would honor his promise was up to Dooku … Merit had work of her own to do, and it started now. It started with Obi-Wan and Anakin … with taking care of them.
SWSWSWSWSWSW
On Coruscant, within the Jedi Temple, Master Yan Dooku was awaiting word from Naboo … more to the point, he was awaiting word from either his former padawan or Thane Solo. Yan already decided that regardless of what the report from Naboo contained, he would not fall this time. He would not betray what he was taught, how he was raised, and he would not betray his former padawan. This time, he could see the trap laid before his feet. And so, he taught his classes and tried to ignore the hopeful looks from his students, hoping that he would take them as a padawan … he practiced his katas, and took comfort in the familiar movements and equally familiar sensation of the Force moving around him and through him. Thus, when the distinct sound of someone at the door interrupted his tea-making, Yan felt far more serene … even when he realized that it was a member of the High Council calling upon him.
"Master Dooku … I need to speak with you," Mace Windu said from the other side of the door and Yan knew that his old friend was coming to tell him of his former padawan's fate. He bid the younger Master to enter, and Mace stepped through the door a moment later. His face was solemn, but no more solemn than usual. The Councilor was silent for several moments, before saying, "We just heard from Naboo. The mission was a success … Naboo has been freed … but there was a fatality. Master Solo sacrificed himself to save Master Jinn's life."
It took all of Yan's considerable self-control to hide the dizzying relief he felt at the younger man's words. Qui-Gon was safe. The young Master from the future kept his word and prevented Qui-Gon's death. Yan said, carefully hiding his relief behind formality, "I thank you for this news. Was young Master Solo the only fatality?" Mace nodded, his face still very grave, and Yan continued, "He is one with the Force now, and as Master Yoda always says, the Force is the greatest ally we can hope to have."
"Who are you trying to convince, Yan? Me or yourself? You forget how well I know you, as well I should. I know that as soon as I told you that Qui-Gon was still alive, you were ready to fall to your knees in gratitude. Master Yoda and I are traveling to Naboo … but before we leave, the three of us must discuss the next course of action. The testimony of Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan, and Master Solo's younger sister put to rest any questions about whether the Sith are back. They are, and now, we must make a decision about what should be done. According to Thane and Merit Solo, in the original timeline, you Fell because of Qui-Gon's death," Mace replied, shaking his head with a small smile.
"Thus, there was someone there to take advantage of my vulnerability," Yan murmured and Mace nodded. There was someone who took advantage of his vulnerability, there was a Sith who used him as a weapon against those whom he once loved … he became that which he hated most. Whatever anger he might have felt was immediately stamped down, because this provided them with an opportunity. Oh yes. He could see where this was going, and to be totally honest with himself, Yan rather liked the idea. Oh, he liked the idea a great deal. He continued, "A trap has been laid before us, old friend, and what do we do with traps?" Mace was smiling now, not the usual half-smile, but a broad, satisfied, toothy grin that meant this Sith Lord, whoever he was, would rue the day he was born. Yan backed that plan whole-heartedly.
"We spring them," Mace replied with a gleeful expression that looked wholly out of place on the usually stern-faced Master. In that moment, Yan could see the boy he was once upon a time, the boy whom he helped to guide. For some reason, that made him even more melancholy, and Mace asked gently, "What troubles you, Yan? I know that you're pleased and relieved by the news about Qui-Gon, and I know this is the sort of challenge that you relish … so what troubles you? Is it hearing of Master Solo's death?"
"In part. I knew him for only a few hours, this young man who sacrificed himself to save my former padawan. I think of all the good he could have done, if he lived longer … of all the people he could have saved and the changes he could have effected And then, I think of young Anakin, who could have blossomed under his tutelage. I think of his sister, who is alone in the galaxy … in an unfamiliar time and place. What will become of her, Mace? Will she find a place in an Order that must change if it wishes to survive? Yes, I did hear about the child from Tatooine being placed in the care of Master Solo and his sister," Yan answered.
"Knight Solo has a place in this Order, if she wishes it. And, to be perfectly honest with you, I would be most surprised if she chooses otherwise. It's a cruel thing to say, but we are all she has left," Mace replied. Yan could not argue with that truth. Her brother died to save both Qui-Gon and Yan himself. She was part of the Order now, and she stood a far better chance with them than on her own. There would be places for those who worked in the shadows and behind the scenes, but Yan was quite certain that Merit Solo was needed here in the Temple … and, more to the point, that she needed to be here.
"What of the boy? The Master you chose for him has died … surely you don't mean to send him back to Tatooine?" Yan asked and Mace merely glowered at him. However, Yan wasn't one of the Initiates whom that could frighten and he merely smiled. He was far older than Mace and saw far more frightening visages. Mace evidently realized this, for he sighed and shook his head. But there was a ghost of a smile on his face, and once more, Yan could see the boy who was his padawan's closest friend as they grew to maturity.
"The boy will be trained … the Force was clear on that. He must be trained, else the consequences to himself, to those dear to him, to the Order, and to the galaxy will be staggering. There are some suggestions that Obi-Wan should train him, but that would be too much responsibility for a young Knight. It was also suggested that Merit Solo train him, but there's still much she needs to learn. I don't know if you've seen her spar, but that girl's footwork is absolutely atrocious! And her style is a mixture of several. She needs time to learn the basics, before she's allowed a padawan," Mace replied. He paused, before adding, "That's our gift to her. I have no doubt that she would make an excellent teacher, but she needs time to heal. Thane Solo wasn't merely her older brother … he was also her Master."
Yes, so Yan was told. He observed, "You should consider a female Master for young Skywalker. He was forced to leave his mother … a female Master might make the transition less traumatic." Mace said nothing in response, and Yan knew that his old friend would hold his own thoughts close until it was time for the High Council to meet. At least the boy would be trained. And if it hadn't meant his own padawan's death, Yan wished it was Thane Solo who could have trained him. As the son of a fallen Jedi, and given his rather unorthodox upbringing, it was likely that Anakin could become the greatest of them all with Thane Solo's tutelage. Not because he was the Chosen One (a terrible burden for a child to bear), but because with great power came great responsibility, and the necessity to control that power.
Anakin Skywalker's story had yet to be written, and Yan Dooku had his own story to write. He asked, "When should I begin to spring this trap of ours for the Sith Lord? Before or after Thane Solo has received the funerary rites of all Jedi?" Mace pursed his lips, and Yan had the sense that the Councilor was about to upend everything. But even he couldn't have known what Mace told him next … how Thane Solo disappeared from his sister's arms after his death, leaving only his clothes. Well. That just added to the intrigue, now didn't it?
SWSWSWSWSW
When word came of the events on Naboo, Finis Valorum sat alone in his office at his home, cherishing the time he had left. One way or another, he would not be the Chancellor of the Republic for much longer. The only question for him was if he would leave office on his own two feet … or feet first. He smiled to himself, a little sadly. It was his hope to leave of his own accord, but since the visit from the young Jedi Merit Solo, he grew more and more certain that he made the puppet-master very, very angry indeed. He already lost his office, with the vote of no-confidence called by the allies of the Trade Federation. And the more he thought about it, the more he was sure something very dark was threatening his beloved Republic.
As he thought about it, he could see the signs he missed while things were happening. Signs that he should have noticed and didn't, for a variety of reasons. Finis nodded sadly. Whether he liked it or not, he helped to contribute to this situation. There were decisions he should have made and didn't … but he made the decision he could at the time, with the information he had available. There were regrets as he considered the recent past (and much of his time as Chancellor), but a peace, too. The only regrets he had about the future was that he couldn't do more for the Republic, for Naboo, and for the darkness descending.
But he could not regret his most recent actions. His career was over no matter what he did, he saw that clearly now. No matter what choice he made when Knight Solo brought this information to him, his days as the Chancellor of the Republic were numbered. And life was all about choices … you took one path, and it led you to one fate … make another choice, and the choices you made affected far more than just yourself. No. No, so far as the Naboo question was concerned, he had no regrets. At least he saw this coming … not just the end of his life as a public servant, but the end of his life, period. And he thought about what the girl told him. She was from the future, and what a terrible future it was, too. Did he help to avert that future? He hoped so. He truly hoped so.
That led his attention down yet another path. After he made the choice to side with Queen Amidala when the young queen appeared before the Senate, Finis contacted the Jedi High Council. In part because he wanted to make sure he hadn't just thrown away everything he worked for because of a conversation with an imposter or worse, a Dark Jedi, but there were other reasons … he needed answers to many things. After receiving reassurance from Master Yoda himself that Merit Solo was indeed whom she said she was and that the Council did indeed send her to speak with him about Naboo, Finis spoke with Depa Billaba, the Master who gave the young Jedi her mission to speak with him. He asked her why the Jedi Order gave the Knight that particular mission. He knew why she carried it out … to protect her great-grandmother from making a decision that would end up destroying her and everything she believed in. But why was the mission even considered in the first place?
That, he was informed, was a decision made by the High Council. In fact, it was Depa herself who made the suggestion during a discussion about what the Council should do about this new information. Merit Solo was volunteered for the mission by her older brother, since they were not known to be Jedi. They didn't behave like Jedi (except for, perhaps, Corellian Jedi), they didn't dress like the contemporary Jedi. Well, yes, he understood that, but why was the mission even undertaken in the first place? Why did the Jedi become involved? Why did the Jedi care about Naboo so much? Oh yes, they were the defenders of peace and justice in the galaxy, but why was Naboo so special?
The Jedi master was silent for several moments before answering, "Shortly after their arrival, Knight Solo and her brother both agreed to allow us to see their memories. That was why we trusted them … not just what we saw of their past, but their willingness to grant us that access. We realized during our discussions after viewing those memories that the blockade was where everything began to fall apart. Oh, I'm sure there were previous issues, but that was the beginning of the end. If we could move the needle, even a little, we could change the course of the future. Why would we do it? There were two agendas at work, and we had no issues with that. We did it to save ourselves and those who follow us, to save the Jedi Order and the Republic we have served … Knight Solo agreed to the decision because of her desire to protect her family. And her brother volunteered her because she was not a known Jedi. She and her brother have spent little time outside the Temple, aside from Knight Solo's trip here."
They covered that earlier, but now he understood things far better. The Jedi Order was already starting to change, even if they didn't realize it. It was somewhat underhanded, what they did, but that was the reality of politics. And despite claims to the contrary, the Jedi Order was involved in politics. They didn't want to be … but they were. Finis smiled to himself, taking another sip from the glass in his hand. He wished he could be around to see the other changes that were coming … some of the changes, particularly to the Republic, would be terrible. Others … oh, others would be wonderful.
A low laugh alerted him that he was no longer alone, and Finis nodded. He was expecting this, actually. He said, pitching his voice just loud enough, "I wondered if it would be you who ended my life. You, or one of your minions. If it was one of your little acolytes, you wouldn't be laughing. Bragging, perhaps, but not laughing." He set the glass to one side and rose to his feet, turning to face his murderer. Well. That was a surprise. And yet, at the same time, it wasn't, not after everything else that happened during the last few weeks. He observed, "I am impressed, however, Einon. I never thought you would be the sort to do your own dirty work."
"Leave something so important to someone else? After my lieutenant's failure in Naboo? Not at all. Besides … I will take pleasure in ending you," was the response. Finis allowed himself a small smile. How very predictable. The other man continued, sounding more than a little disbelieving, "You smile at your death. You surprise me, Finis. I had thought you would be on your knees by now, begging me for your life. Instead, you're not only still on your feet, but nearly mocking me. I don't know if I should be insulted or amused." Finis laughed aloud, further surprising his unexpected (and unwelcome) guest. And why not laugh? What was left but to laugh at these intricate machinations.
"Why choose one or the other? Truly, Einon, I've reached the point where it simply doesn't matter. Kill me and be done with it. Although, I am interested in how you intend to get away with it. Will it be a random mugging? Perhaps I'll be found dead of a tragic heart attack? Or maybe you'll try to paint this as a suicide … so tragic, the former Chancellor took his own life because he couldn't bear the shame of the no-confidence vote," Finis mocked. He was wryly amused with the anger blossoming in the eyes of the other man. Oh, he had no doubt that he would die. He also had no doubt that with all the effort which his adversary put into this plan to remove him from power, provoking him into making a mistake would be impossible. That wasn't the point. The point was, Finis Valorum would leave this life on his own terms.
"Perhaps it will be an ancient poison coating the glasses, a poison that will not be detectable," was the response. Finis looked at his glass, smiled a little, and toasted his adversary. Einon Palpatine said, shaking his head in disbelief, "You truly don't care that you're dying, that you began dying from the moment you took that first drink. Even now, the poison is making its way through your system, destroying your organs. Was it worth it, Finis? Was it worth it, and what did that child offer you to change your mind? You were supposed to agree with the Trade Federation and push the young queen into the vote of no confidence. I told her as much, you see, that you were nothing more than a puppet. So why did you choose to side with Amidala and the worthless, pathetic Naboo?"
Finis thought of all the reasons he could give. A young Jedi seeking to protect her great-grandmother from the consequences of a choice she made in desperation … a child-queen trying to save her people … the Jedi Order taking its first, halting steps into the greater universe. He thought of the Naboo, simply living their lives and wishing to be left alone. And then he thought of the greatest regret in his life. He finally smiled and replied, "Because I could." Let him make of that what he would. 'Because I could' was as a good a reason as any.
Einon Palpatine stared at him in disbelief, saying flatly, "Really? You sacrificed your life and your career because you could." A stab of pain in his vitals prevented Finis from answering, and Einon raised an eyebrow, observing, "Oh, you have been drinking tonight, haven't you? Let me see … that should be your kidneys shutting down. Your lungs will be next, followed by your heart. Really, I find that incredible. Incredibly stupid … to say nothing of incredibly short-sighted. I would have won regardless, but I was willing to let you live in ignominy. You would have been no further threat to me … you would have been just another disgraced politician who chose to pander to the powerful, rather than stand up for the 'innocent.' Instead, you chose to die because you could. You truly are a fool."
"You … will … never… understand," Finis gasped as his knees buckled. He collapsed to the ground, groaning in pain. Einon frowned, tilting his head to one side. Finis felt his shoulders hitting the floor, felt the lush carpet under his body, and thought there were worse places to do … worse ways to die … worse reasons to die. Einon Palpatine was staring down at him, obviously puzzled. Finis was the one who was dying, but he actually felt sorry for Einon. Finis chose his departure from this life. He knew when he made his choice what the consequences would be. He couldn't save his beloved Republic … that would fall to someone else … but perhaps he could help to blunt its destruction.
There were worse reasons to die … far worse.
TBC