CAUTION: There are spoilers for The Cursed Child in here. Proceed at your own risk.
"Oh God, Oh God, Oh God, Oh God," words continually spilled out of her mouth without inhibition. She sunk into a corner in her office, curled up on the ground her body shaking uncontrollably. She forced herself to stop speaking but sobs racked her strong frame now utterly helpless.
The picture on the wall, depicting a old man with a twinkle in his eyes, looked at her with great concern and disappeared from the frame. He traveled through the castle from frame to frame toward the Headmistresses office.
"Minerva." His voice boomed in the room.
A woman with a harsh disposition turned around in her chair. "Yes" she said, tired and weary from the day of news.
"Clarissa..." He began slowly.
Her eyes flashed with fear. "I was afraid she would find out. Thank you." She walked briskly out into the hallways.
Meanwhile Clare sat on the floor sobbing. She knew that she should have more control over her emotions, somehow able to brave the fears that now cripple her and confined her to the ground.
A noise came from the door, Clare jerked away from the line of sight and pulled out her wand. "Stay away." She declared with much more authority than she thought she contained at the moment.
"Clarissa." Minerva said worriedly.
Every muscle that had tensed relaxed back into the position she had curled into. Clare slowly picked herself up off the floor as if she was walking through wet cement. She did her very best to gather what remained of her composure and greeted her Headmistress.
"Minerva." She said, hiding every emotion she had.
"You're not alone. We are all appalled by this news."
Clarissa had no sympathy, "Appalled." She laughed. "I would love to hear this news and feel appalled." Sarcasm permeated her words.
Headmistress McGonagall had more patience than her youthful companion. "Appalled, terrified, there are many emotions that accompany this new information."
Clarissa tried to come off her victim mindset. "I must apologize, that was bad form. However, Minerva, I know that people will not deal with this the same way I did." She walked over to the window in her office and sighed.
"Every single day," she said as she looked down at the lake for comfort, "I fear for what would happen if he came back. What I would become. If I could resist. I didn't just feel terrified, or fearful of him coming back and hurting all those people. No it was much much worse. I am not who I was Minerva. I love beings of all species and people of all magical heritage, but there was a time when I didn't."
"Stop. You have said it yourself, you are not who you were." Minerva said in an effort to reassure her.
Clare continued staring at the lake as a darkness settled over her. "Yes, I'm not doing the same things. I don't murder or kill or steal or lie or use illegal spells or force people to do my will, but that doesn't change me. Minerva do not misunderstand me, I love the children at this school and I wouldn't harm them, but my blood boils when I find out someone is a muggle born. I put away my wand because I know the darkness inside of me that still believes Voldemort was justified in everything that he did. I deny it, I deprive it of light or thoughts, but it is there. I can feel it. That is what scares me."
"And if" she took a moment, "Voldemort, comes back..."
"Not only will he hunt me down and make sure I live every moment for his name, but I, though reluctant, will enjoy every single minute of it. Even embrace it to the point where I become my mother. Beautiful and cruel, loyal to a fault."Clare stopped for a moment, realizing there were tears streaking down her face, slowly, methodically. "I fear my" she paused, "father more than anyone else. I hated him more than anyone else on the earth, but I wanted so badly to please him. Down deep inside, I wanted him to be proud of me. When I heard he could come back and the dark hidden part of me was excited, that was when I broke down. I can't. I don't want to. That's not who I am." She began to ramble uncontrollably.
Minerva stopped her with a calm and collected look. "He is not coming back, not yet anyway. And if those friends of yours in the ministry can do their jobs, he never will. Understood? And remember Clare, part of us will always want to return to the things that made us feel powerful. We just have to remember, we are better than that. You are so much better than that."
Clare, comforted but not convinced, nodded.
"And if you ever struggle with this again, you must come speak with me. As the Head of this school I am responsible for the behavior of all the professors, I need to know if you are feeling particularly parental on any given occasion. I trust you will be honest with me. You are a good woman and a good professor."
As she began to walk out of the room she said, "Make sure you get rest before the students arrive. You will need it."
Clare walked briskly into the dark castle, thoughts wracking her brain. This wasn't her burden to bear, for once, she wasn't involved. Curiosity crept up inside of her, threatening to cause her to explore the dangerous possibilities.
Could he really come back? How would he come back? Was there another Horcrox he left?
She quickly made her way home to her husband who waited for her. She explained her fears to him as he held her.
"Rumors, my dear. They're always rumors."
Clare looked at him, anger boiling up inside her. "No, Ernest, they weren't just rumors. I've listened and paid attention to every rumor. I can tell the difference. This one has weight to it. Not only because a time-turner of special capabilities has been stolen, but..." Her voice trailed off.
Ernie looked at her with an unreadable face. "But what, Clarissa"
"I've begun hearing his voice again."
He touched her arm firmly, keeping her gaze steadily. "I need you to tell me everything. Who's voice?"
"My father's. He's in my dreams, during the day at Hogwarts when I'm alone I hear his voice in the halls. I've even been thinking differently lately. Love, I'm scared."
Ernie's disposition changed from shock to resolve. "You must go speak with Harry."
"I cannot. The last time we spoke, it was about Albus. That was not a conversation I would ever love to repeat."
"Why not?"
"He was imploring me to help him relate to his son, when I accused him of wishing his son wasn't who he is." Mr. Macmillan's jaw hung open for a moment. "Ernie, I was that child. When I was first sorted into Slytherin, I felt unloved by my parents, which was untrue. I had very few real friends, I lost any friends who hated Slytherin because of their parents and isolated myself. Although the other circumstances were wildly outside of my control, I was ostracized, at least on the inside.
"Harry believes in his heart if Albus had been sorted into Gryffindor, his son would be normal and good. I can see it in his eyes. It's what I saw in my father's eyes. But the truth is, our Hogwarts house is more than just a title, its a part of who we are. So Harry thinking Albus would have been better off in Gryffindor is him wishing his son was fundamentally a different child."
Her husband sighed, "You still should talk to him."
"Fine. I will send him an Owl."
Within the next hour, the famous Harry Potter had arrived on her doorstep.
"Clare!" He said with heightened urgency.
The, now composed, regal woman seated on the couch next to her husband flicked her wand to open the door. She stood up, her frame carried status "Harry Potter. It is good to see you, even under such circumstances as these."
He came over to her. "Ernest."
"Harry." He nodded. "I will go see if the children have not killed each other yet. Leona is off to Hogwarts this year."
Harry mustered a smile. "Very nice."
Once he had left, Clare motioned for Harry to sit down. The house they lived in was grand. It was the Macmillan family house. Pureblooded wizards always seemed to be well off.
Harry held himself as highly as he could, his tiredness was weighing on him. Clare summoned some tea and poured it for him.
"Had a long week?" Clare asked, politely.
Harry looked at her for a moment. Their exchanges always contained a degree of familiarity, even when they hadn't been on the best terms. "I want to apologize for the last time we talked, I should not have put you in that position with Albus."
"Harry, I don't hold grudges that easily. I just hate to see this happen between you two, I tend to get very passionate about such matters, especially when it involves my students. I love them a lot you know."
"Yes I know." Harry began to notice things about the way she held herself, the way her eyes glistened, how her mouth sat, even her charisma. She was so much like her father. He shuddered when he thought that, choosing to ignore it.
Clare saw his thought process and smiled grimly. "I'm aware Harry." She laughed ironically. "It's hard not to see me as a monster when I look exactly like one. I've seen his old photographs, I spent years with him, I know I have picked up from him."
Harry, feeling uncomfortable, changed the subject. "I'm sorry. Why did you call me here so urgently?"
"I fear the rumors are more than rumors. I have some reason to believe they may hold some truth."
"Why? What do you mean?"
"I've been having dreams, Harry. He's calling out to me, to free him. I hear him speaking during the day..." She stopped for a moment. "He's waiting, someone is calling out to him, to bring him back."
Harry's face looked very grave. "The ministry is aware of these..."
"Stop. Take me seriously. You have to keep the present as the present. Nothing can change. If it does, we're all doomed, trust me. Professor Trealawny is not one to hold her tongue. Every time I see her, I am told every seeing about my future being one filled with turmoil and pain. I have left enough of that behind me. I have my husband to think about now, my children."
"Is that all you have to tell me?"
"Yes." Clare said, assuredly. "But, I can also be your friend, if you'd like?"
Harry laughed quietly. "When this is all resolved, we should have a family dinner. If Ernie is up to it."
Clare smiled warmly, every fear and possibility of hardship leaving her face. "Have you forgotten? The man is a Hufflepuff! If I don't have guests over once a month, he threatens to start having his work colleagues over every afternoon for tea."
Harry forced out a laugh. "You two seem happy together."
Clare sighed, every stressful moment leaving her body. "We are. So few people know, who I really am. After the ministry did the clean up to hold up their end of the bargain. They still know I was a death eater, but a handful know why. Ernest, though shocked by the news, was understanding in the end. Every other man I told was close to homicidal, their memories I took. He understood my plight, didn't judge. That's how we survived all these years."
"I'm glad he found someone. You're way above him you know that."
"Yeah well, when your father is the Dark Lord, you have a small dating pool. And besides, there's very few men who could live up to my standards and I was done dating death eaters."
"Good. That's good."
Clare enjoyed the silence for a moment before saying thoughtfully, "I know you understand this. But I feel it must be made perfectly clear. If the Dark Lord comes back, I will be subject to a fate worse than death. Everyone has their demons Harry, but I am my own."
"I know." He said solemnly.
"Is there anything you would ask of me?"
"I believe this goes without saying, but could you please keep your eyes on Albus. He's become increasingly troubled."
"Of course. I fear your son has too much in common withme."
Harry looked at her, hiding his anger. "No, you were liked and accepted. I would even say sought after. Albus has only one friend."
Clare was not phased by his directness. "That was only in the very early years. Most of my time at Hogwarts was me trying to escape my father's legacy and find people who would accept me for who I am."
Harry grunted. "Well, I must be going. If anything else comes up, even about Albus, do send me an owl."
"I will. I have little faith in the Ministry, do restore it." Clare walked Harry to the door and let him out.
Clarissa Macmillan had very little time on her hands during the school year, with all the papers to grade, students to discipline, and her own children to take care of. But what little time she had left, she spent watching over her favorite Slytherin students. They were aware of her presence and avoided her at all costs. She went on teaching her classes. There was a lot of disturbing news, but what caught her most off guard was concerning a Delphini Diggory.
She overheard it from none other than Scorpius and Albus. They had been walking down the hallway she was crossing when they said, "Delphini the she-devil Voldemort's own daughter, you'll never get one over that mate."
They laughed as they walked into a stunned professor.
Scorpious stopped and said, "Are you okay professor? Did you see the bloody baron around, creepy bloke in my opinion." He looked around to make she the baron wasn't there.
She looked down at them, not having heard his question. "What did you say?"
"About the bloody baron?"
She began to shake. "No before that, about Voldemort having a daughter."
Scorpious nervously began to speak, "Yeah Delphini-"
Albus covered his mouth, "Oh we were just making a joke about this horrid girl. That's what they call the unpleasant ones nowadays, Voldemort's daughters."
She glared at them murderously, "You Potter, will tell me the truth or I will go straight to the Headmistress about this encounter and she will not be pleased."
Scorpious looked pitifully at his best friend. Potter did not break her glance. "There's a rumor that Bellatrix Lestrange and Voldemort had a daughter before the Battle of Hogwarts. Her name is suppossedly Delphini and she's in Askaban. That's just the rumor."
"Be careful what rumors you spread Albus." Clarissa said cautiously. "You never know who may be listening. Now go, I haven't recieved either of your essays on how to properly dispose of a dementor."
"Yes Professor," Scorpious said compliantly.
Clare, once they were out of sight, rushed to her office. She took a handful of Floo Powder and said "Azkaban."
She whirled through the air to the secluded prison office, just by the terrible structure.
"I must see Delphini Diggory." She said with authority.
"By whose say."
"The Minister of Magic."
"I didn't get a letter or even a heads up that you were coming. No. You can't go through."
"Well if you want to explain to Minister Grainger why you couldn't let me through, it's worth a try."
The wizard held his resolve for a moment, then a look of fear swept across his face. "Okay go. But you only have fifteen minutes, and leave your wand and any other magical items here."
Clare breathed deeply and unarmed herself. "You better keep the dementors away, they hunger for my soul."
"Of course." He led her through, to the cell where they kept the young blonde. She looked ragged and broken.
Clare's rich voice filled the space. "So you are the daughter of Voldemort."
"Who's asking." Her tired voice, no match for the dark haired beauty who had just entered.
She stepped into the light, "I am."
"And who are you?"
"A family friend." She muttered cryptically, not quite ready to reveal it all.
Delphini viewed her with awe and jealousy. "You knew them?"
"Yes. I did." She said bitterly.
"Were they amazing?" She said excitedly. Obviously this was the first time she had really been aware since she arrived.
Clare had pity on her. "I had little time with them. Bellatrix was beautiful, regal, yet terrible. She was loyal to Voldemort to no end. The Dark Lord, he was... persuasive. A very handsome young man, clever, proud, and prestigious. They were definitely some people you don't cross."
"Are you going to help me get out of here? We could bring the Dark Lord back. He could rule." She said under her breath.
"I don't believe so. I'd rather the dead stay that way."
"But you said..." She began, then stopped saying. "What's your name?"
"Can't you tell?" Clare said with some comedy coloring her tone.
"A Malfoy?" Delphini said half-heartedly.
"No." She chuckled. "Close though. Don't I remind you of someone?"
"No." Delphini was losing her patience.
Clare sighed. "Well, Delphini. My name is Clare Macmillian. My maiden name is Clare McGee. My birth name is Clarissa Riddle." She held herself high as she said this.
Delphini looked at her in shock. "You lie."
Clare laughed grimly. "If only." She reflected on how common this response was when she told people who she was.
"It can't be. It was never recorded that the Dark Lord had any siblings or relatives."
Clare watched the prisoner frantically attempt to make sense of the revelation she'd just been give. "He didn't." She said this matter-of-factly, hoping to lead her closer to the truth.
"Then who are you?" She said warily.
"Look at me. Don't I look like dear old dad?" She gestured to her face. "You bear a horrible resemblance to Bellatrix."
"You're my sister?" she said with very little breath in her lungs.
"Almost old enough to be your mother, you know. But yes, I am." Clare leaned up against the wall.
"You must be a traitor." She looked at her with anger.
"Just because I am on this side of the bars..." She trailed off.
"Then what? You served him? Is that what you're going to tell me?" She yelled loudly.
Clare stared her straight in the face. "I did. Went to Azkaban, toiled for 10 years, broke myself out. Found something better to live for."
"So you just GAVE UP." She screamed even louder.
Clare winced. "Shh, you're going to get me in trouble with the dementors, they will try to kill me if they come in here. You don't just look like her, you act like her too."
Delphini shrunk into herself away from her sister.
"Now, do you want to know about Voldemort or not."
Her eyes grew wide and childlike, Clare shuddered inwardly. "Ok. I spent four long years serving under our father. He was a compelling leader and could convince a man he could walk even if he was paralyzed. He also was horribly cruel, he found out I existed and immediately hunted me down so I would serve him."
"He came to find you?" She asked with excitement.
"It wasn't a good thing. He threatened to kill the people who raised me if I didn't serve him. He wanted his powerful daughter by his side. He wanted me to love him without receiving anything in return. I followed him, killed for him, sought after his favor, I even watched him kill the closest thing to a mother I had ever had, just because I wanted to be accepted by my father. It's not worth it. He is selfish and unable to love. He cannot give you what you are searching for. No person can. You have to accept yourself and embrace who you are."
"You're weak. Too weak for him to be proud or to use you. I'm stronger, I've been preparing my whole life to please him. I wouldn't fail him like you." She said accusing her.
"Say what you like about me, but he is not coming back. I will fight to my last breath to make sure of that. You are the one who has to live apart from his legacy, choose your path wisely." With that Clare left the prison. She could hear Delphini's demands for her to return as she exited and picked up her belongings.
When Clare arrived at home, Ernie was in the living room with three of their children. The children immediately ran over to tackle their mother.
"Get the Death Eater!" Abigail yelled as she jumped onto Clare.
"Oh! You've got me!" She laughed, some of the weight of the world leaving her shoulders.
Clare held Abigail, Franky, and Aaron in her arms and began to tickle them. In a ruckus of screams and laughter they ran back to their father.
"He can't protect you from my tickle charm!" She quickly cast the spell and they all began to cry and scream for her to end it. She swiftly ended the spell.
Laughing she said, "You know Abigail, you cannot do that every time I walk into my class at Hogwarts."
Abigail, looking a little irritated. "Yes I know."
"You must know the rules for when you join your sister in Hufflepuff." Ernie said.
"Or Slytherin." Clare countered his comment with a side look. "Go upstairs for a moment my darlings."
"But mum, you barely are home during the school year..." Franky said.
Aaron mumbled as they walked up the stairs, "She always wants to talk to Dad."
Ernie chuckled, "That's because she chose me, you we got by chance."
Aaron stuck his tongue out and hurried up the stairs.
"I saw THAT Aaron Joseph!" Clare yelled. The sound of footsteps quickly died off.
Clare walked over to her husband and collapsed onto his lap. He kissed her neck and brought her closer to him. "What's wrong love? You looked distraught when you came home."
"I'm so thankful our children got more of you than of me."
"Are you kidding? All that charisma is all from you."
"They've all got a wonderful sense of humor, only Leona can be dreadfully serious sometimes. And more of you means less of him."
Ernie tensed and pulled back to look his wife in the eyes. "Darling, what's gotten you on that again?"
"Again?! I always think about it, day in and out-"
"I didn't want to upset you. You just must know that's not what anyone sees when they first look at you. I see my beautiful wife, amazing teacher, and the mother to my children." He cooed quietly to her, "Something must have brought it up."
Clare's face admitted guilt. "You're right. Today, I overheard Potter and Malfoy's conversation, I have a sister."
Ernie tried to hide his shock, fear and confusion, but she could see it all.
"I know. I know. You think I would know if Bellatrix had a daughter while I was around, but I didn't. It was a giant secret. Father of course would not tell me. But she was just thwarted in an attempt to try and bring Voldemort back."
He jumped when she said the name. "What?"
"I went to go see her for myself, in Azkaban..." She paused. "She's the spitting image of my mother. Just like I favor my father."
"That's why you came home..." He realized.
"Yes. I wanted to warn you and say goodbye. The ministry will be coming for me any day now." She said solemnly.
"They have no right." He said angrily.
"Don't worry," She reassured him. "They won't keep me prisoner, they're sure to ask me questions, endless questions, but Hermione knows that I had nothing to do with this. They will hold me a day or two, no more than a week."
"This is ridiculous."
"I know, but just ignore it and let it play out. If you don't make a big deal, no one will know and our lives can stay silent and out of sight."