Chapter 15: Putting Out Fire (with Gasoline)
Part 1
In this chapter:
·A movie premiere
· Landa
· A fourth language
· A fatherly conversation
Several months ago, Elsie would never have even considered the possibility of being the date of a Nazi propaganda film star; the concept wouldn't have even crossed her mind.
Then again, she had never thought she would be joining an American guerrilla militant group to wreak havoc on the German army, either.
But, you know what they say: Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
As their car drew closer to the cinema, Elsie felt the nerves begin to set in.
She had spent close to two weeks up a tree, shooting at men who were looking to kill her. She had learned to scalp people as though it was a ritual part of life. She'd had a gun held to her head, been sexually assaulted, endured the brutal lashings of a whip, been shot, been forced to have lunch with the man who had assaulted her and sat helpless as two of her best friends were shot dead; yet she was still somehow nervous about dressing up and being on the arm of a young man for an evening.
Not to mention the fact that the cinema they were on their way to would be leveled by large amounts of dynamite before the end of the night.
To make matters just that little bit worse, Fredrick, who was dressed in a white uniform adorned with his many medals of valor, continued to throw little looks and smiles in her direction as she sat next to him in the car.
And sitting directly across from them was Joseph Goebbels and his translator/ date-for-the-evening, a woman in a horrible gold outfit who had been introduced to her as Mademoiselle Francesca Mondino.
Talk about an awkward car trip.
The actual arrival at the cinema wasn't much better. People flocked towards Fredrick and Goebbels, greeting them and chatting away like fan-girls. Elsie, arm-in-arm with her date, remained silent, trying her best to appear a mere accessory to Fredrick while they had their picture taken.
'Right now,' she thought to herself, 'you're here to smile and look pretty. No matter how much you want to hit Mademoiselle Mondino in the face.'
The interior of the cinema was a little extravagant. Scattered around it were even more Nazi decorations than the front of the venue, as well as decadent artwork and statues she guessed had been imported for this very occasion.
Waitresses in skimpy outfits walked around serving drinks to the fat men who had profited well from the European conflict; their pretty dates looking as though their only purpose in life was to look attractive and giggle at all the bad jokes being told.
Elsie decided that she could learn a thing or two from them for her own charade, but before she could watch any one person for too long, she was off being dragged to the next important individual there.
She quickly grew bored. The novelty of being at a Nazi premiere wore off fast, apparently.
She kept her eyes peeled for Aldo, Donny and Omar, but there was no sign of them yet.
Scanning the room for anything interesting – aside from the sea of uniformed and over-decorated Nazi generals, majors and ministers, of course – Elsie's gaze trailed up the golden rail of the staircase, before her eyes came to rest on a young woman in a red dress. She realized that it was the girl she had met the first time she had come to the cinema.
The young woman was also scanning the room and, for the briefest of moments, their eyes met. There was something in the girl's eyes; a glint of detestation, perhaps, at the fact that she had allowed these people inside her establishment.
No. It was something more than that. Her expression was calm, calculating, almost as if she were up to something.
She came down the stairs towards them, eyes now locked on Fredrick, who spotted her as soon as she hit ground level.
"Emmanuelle!" he greeted with a big smile, "I want you to meet the greatest actor in the world."
Elsie frowned at him.
She had tuned out of the conversation about six people ago, so had no idea who he was talking about. For a split-second, she thought he was referring her.
"Emil Jannings," Fredrick finished, gesturing to the beefy man that stood before them.
Jannings took the other woman's hand and kissed it, much like he had when he had been introduced to 'Cécille Amour', only Elsie had been too zoned out at the time to notice.
Emmanuelle glanced in Elsie's direction as though waiting for an introduction. It took Fredrick a moment to remember that he had brought her along, too distracted by the true object of his affections.
"Oh, I'm sorry. This is Cécille," he finally said.
Both girls gave a polite nod.
Yes, there definitely was something interesting about Emmanuelle.
Donny spotted Elsie almost instantly.
Even from a distance, she was absolutely stunning.
Her blonde hair was a sea of waves, cascading over her shoulders and down to the midnight blue-silk dress that she had chosen out the night before. He glanced at von Hammersmark, who was standing beside Aldo, and who also hadn't stopped whining until they had arrived. She had nothing on Elsie.
"Anyone seen Elsie yet?" Aldo whispered, though it came out as more of a growl.
"She's right over there," Donny told him. He couldn't tear his eyes away.
And now she was heading in his direction.
Despite having a well-renowned Nazi on her arm, Elsie couldn't help but feel relief wash over her when she saw Donny and the others. But this relief was short-lived as she spotted Colonel Landa walking down the stairs. He greeted von Hammersmark like an old friend.
"Oh look! It's Colonel Landa. Shall we go and say 'hello'?" Fredrick asked.
It was almost as if Major Hellstrom was still alive, pulling the strings of this disaster waiting to happen just to feed off her distress.
"Of course," Elsie replied.
It was taking a lot of effort to walk gracefully in the pair of heels that she had chosen; periwinkle blue and stiletto-heeled. She reminded herself to throw them away before the real action began.
She almost felt bad. Fredrick was positively glowing from the success of the evening so far, as well as the amount of praise he was receiving from all the Nazi big-wigs. Or maybe it was just his inflated ego shining through; Elsie hadn't decided yet.
All the same, he looked utterly cheerful.
It was a terrible thing that she would have to go and ruin that by killing him.
The moment they reached Colonel Landa, who turned around to greet Fredrick, Elsie knew that he recognized her from his visit to her grandparents' Villa.
His eyes locked with hers and she felt her heart clench with rage.
Neither of them said anything, but a silent conversation took place. His face gave away nothing.
"And this is my lovely date for the evening, Cécille."
"What a pleasure it is," Colonel Landa smiled, politely taking her hand and kissing it. She must have had about sixty men do that already; it was starting to seem unhygienic.
"Indeed," Elsie replied.
Fredrick spotted Emmanuelle standing on her own and saw his chance for an ambush.
"I'll be back in a moment, Cécille, alright?"
"Oui."
She watched him go and then turned to face the five people that were now staring at her.
"So, Cécille, how do you know Fredrick?" asked the Colonel.
"Actually, we met here, in the city," she fake-smiled.
"Are you from France?"
"Oui."
"But you also speak German, Fredrick tells me," Landa said, switching from French to German.
The sudden change of languages struck Elsie as slightly odd, but it was only going to get weirder.
"Ja."
"How about... English?"
She could see that he was trying to corner her. She had told him the first time they had met, that she preferred speaking English to speaking French. Now he was toying with her; like Hellstrom would have.
"As a matter of fact, yes."
"I like a multi-lingual woman. It shows a lot of intelligence."
He smiled in his arrogant sort of way, as though he had won a battle that Elsie hadn't known was occurring.
"Do you have family in the area?"
Elsie's mind flashed back to her dead grandparents, lying on the ground in a pool of their own blood, gunshots to the back of their heads; all of this due to orders he had given.
"Just my father," she lied.
Though she supposed that it wasn't entirely untrue; Aldo was a surrogate father to her now.
Landa nodded with interest before beginning to talk to von Hammersmark. Elsie looked at Donny and smiled.
He smiled back at her. She looked even more beautiful close up.
Turning her attention to the conversation between Landa and von Hammersmark – which neither Donny, Aldo nor Omar could understand – Elsie listened to the explanation of how Bridget had ended up with her leg in a cast. Apparently the best excuse they could come up with was 'mountain-climbing'.
Elsie wondered if there even were any mountains in Paris.
The entire incident seemed to have struck Landa as quite funny, as he excused himself, proceeding to erupt into laughter.
Elsie bit back a smile as Donny stared at the Colonel as though he were insane. In fact, Donny just looked quite disturbed about the entire event. Aldo looked even more unimpressed, like he'd rather be scalping in the woods than dressed up in his sharp, white suit. Omar, on the other hand, looked quite happy just to sit back and take in the goings-on.
"So, who are your three handsome escorts?" Landa finally asked.
"I'm afraid neither of them speaks a word of German," von Hammersmark explained, "They're friends of mine from Italy."
She approached Aldo and took his arm, leaning into him. Aldo didn't make any effort to hide his irritation.
"This is a wonderful Italian stuntman, Enzo Gorlomi. A very talented cameraman, Antonio Margheriti," she said, gesturing towards Donny, "and Antonio's camera assistant, Dominick Decocco."
Donny made a hand gesture as he was introduced, which, apparently, he thought made him seem more believably Italian. Elsie looked away to hide her smile, grabbing a glass of champagne from a tray as it moved past them. She took a sip of it to calm herself down.
"Gentleman, this is an old friend of mine, Colonel Hans Landa of the SS," von Hammersmark told them, in what was probably the only Italian she knew.
"Bon-jerno," Aldo said, not bothering to cover up his southern-American accent.
Laughter rose in Elsie's throat, and took a particularly large mouthful of champagne to keep it from erupting.
"Gentlemen, it's a pleasure," Landa began in fluent Italian.
Everyone stared at him in shock.
Coming to the premiere disguised as Italians had been a good idea, but once again, von Hammersmark's 'brilliant' plan had quickly turned to shit. They hadn't expected any Nazis to be able to speak Italian, but then again they hadn't expected any Nazis to be in La Louisianne, either.
Elsie had to think, fast. Her mind began flashing back to the night Hugo had died. He had lost his life because of a stuff-up like this.
"The friends of our cherished star, admired by all of us, this absolute jewel of our culture, are naturally going to be under my personal protection for the duration of their stay," Landa continued.
The three Basterds stared at Landa, slowly nodding, trying their best to look like they knew exactly what he was saying.
In a sudden flash of inspiration, Aldo looked to Elsie for help.
She gave him a very discreet thumbs up, which he understood immediately.
"Grazi-eh," he told Landa.
"Gorlomi? Am I pronouncing it correctly? Gorlomi?"
Elsie gave a small nod whilst looking down into her champagne.
"Ah, si. Correcto," Aldo answered, taking his cue from her.
Aldo didn't really need help with that one; he was beginning to get the general gist of what Landa was asking. But to save all of them the pain on a passive-interrogation, Elsie decided to butt-in.
"I holidayed in Italy with my father when I was younger. Have you ever been Colonel Landa? I mean, before you invaded it? "
Von Hammersmark was quite alarmed by Elsie's choice of words, able to understand more Italian than Elsie had given her credit for.
Landa, smooth as always, maintained a good-natured expression and politely replied, "Yes, I have. Though, I will admit that it was only within the last two years.
Elsie nodded sarcastically and then caught Donny's disapproving look that he quickly flashed before returning to his pleasant smile.
"Shall we move to our seats now, Cécille?"
Fredrick had finally returned from yet another rejection from Emmanuelle, but was not yet to be disheartened. He planned on visiting her in the projectionist's booth later in the evening. Perhaps she would be more accepting of his advances if he were to get her alone.
"Oui," Elsie agreed, glad to get away from Landa and von Hammersmark. She glanced back at Donny on their way past, but their plan was to meet later on. From their position in the balcony seats, she had a view of the entire cinema below. She would keep an eye out for him and Omar, as well as Aldo. In the meantime, she was still Fredrick's date.
Nazi premiere or not, she had to admit; they really did have great seats.
From where she sat – which was unfortunately between Fredrick and Mondino – Elsie could see the many seats below, as well as the doors through which most of the audience were beginning flow, making their way to their own seats.
She spotted Donny and Omar, awkwardly walking towards the rows close to the front. Donny still looked uneasy. He glanced up to the balconies and Elsie risked a quick, reassuring wave.
He didn't wave back, but she could see that the little smile had returned to his face.
"Cécille? I just wanted to tell you that you look truly wonderful. I'm sure that more than a few men in here wished you were on their arm, instead of mine. Is that wrong to say?"
His little display of shyness was almost cute, though she was almost certain he was putting it on.
"Not at all," Elsie replied, "Merci."
"Speaking of which, though it may trouble you to know, Major Hellstrom, was found dead yesterday. He did say you two had met, but I wasn't sure if you knew."
Elsie feigned surprise.
"How unfortunate."
Fredrick offered a small nod of condolence.
Elsie turned her gaze to the floor below them and rolled her eyes at his gesture. The seats were just about full now. The cinema was brimming with excited chatter as the audience waited for the film to begin.
"The Fuehrer will be arriving once the audience has taken their seats," Goebbels informed Fredrick, who smiled dutifully.
Elsie froze as her stomach gave a sickening twist. Hitler himself would be joining them. She could almost hear Hellstrom laughing from his grave.
"Will you excuse me for a moment?"
Fredrick nodded at her.
"Don't be too long though. You must meet the Fuehrer!"
He said it as though telling someone that they 'just had to see the new baby!' or that she 'simply must try this new recipe!'
She nodded with forced enthusiasm. Nausea began to set in.
Detouring from the bathroom, Elsie wondered back towards the foyer area. It was now empty except for a few stray waitresses, a couple of random guards and one man in a white suit: Aldo.
She walked down the staircase and he turned around.
"What're you doin' down 'ere? Shouldn't you be sittin' up there with your kraut-boy?"
Luckily, no one was really paying attention, nor close enough, to hear Aldo.
"Where's von Hammersmark?" Elsie asked him.
"She and her good friend, 'Hermann' took off inna that room."
"You mean Landa?"
"You know him?"
"He killed my grandfolks."
"You gotta be fuckin' kiddin' me."
Elsie shook her head.
"Let's jus' wait 'til he and the bitch're done in there, then, shall we?"
Elsie smiled at the idea of finally getting her long-awaited revenge on the Colonel, but it didn't seem like he and von Hammersmark would be coming out of that room any time soon.
She decided to wait.
Aldo was gazing at her in a funny kind of way as he sipped some champagne.
"What?" she asked him.
"Nothin'. You look nice, is all. It's like they say: they jus' grow up too damn fast."
"Well, you look quite dashing yourself. Was the color your choice?" she smiled mockingly.
"You be quiet, now, missy. As a matter o' fact, I did choose it out myself."
Elsie grinned.
"It makes you look... quite distinguished."
He threw her a sarcastic look.
"You outta head up now. Don't want 'em to come lookin' for ya. He might want to be introducing you to his Heine parents, next."
She chuckled, but suddenly felt a sense of sorrow. She hugged Aldo tightly, catching him slightly off-guard.
"Hey, now, you can do this. Hell, I've seen you pull through harder stuff," he said, hugging her back.
She took a deep breath and let go of him.
"I'll see you when all of this is done," she told him.
He made an uncertain face, but just nodded in response.
As she walked up the stairs, she smiled down at Aldo one last time, but he had turned his attention back to the front of the cinema, waiting for the return of von Hammersmark, who, at that exact moment, was being strangled to death by Colonel Landa.
Elsie turned the corner just in time to miss Aldo being tackled to the ground by three of Landa's guards.