Disclaimer: I do not own twilight or its characters
This chapter took a while to write, I know, but it's almost entirely Edwards point of view. It switches back to Bella to show how Edward reacts to finding out. I'm also starting a second fanfic, look for it to be up in a couple of days.
EPOV
Bella tossed and turned in her sleep, constantly calling out my name in a range of tones. Angered, scared, upset, happy. Always different, most of the time upset.
"Edward!" Bella cried out. She was finally awake. I waited.
"Edward," she gasped again. She started sobbing. I slowly got up and took her in my arms.
"Bella, it's okay, I'm here," I whispered, barely loud enough for her to hear. She turned to look at me.
"For how long?" I had to struggle to stay composed.
"Forever, I promise you that."
"Don't promise," Bella cringed. "Just don't."
"Bella, I can't leave you, you don't know how, hard that was for me." My voice slipped, but not enough for a human to notice.
"Your stronger, you'll survive longer than I will."
I winced. "Bella, do you know why I called this morning?"
"No."
"I thought you'd died. Alice saw you jump, and she told Rosalie, and she told me. I had to check, to make sure, before I went to Italy."
A look of horror crossed Bella's face. "You can't. Edward, you wouldn't, kill yourself, not because of me."
I instantly regretted bringing this up. "Bella, I didn't want to have to do it. I just can't live without you. You are all I think about now, all I ever see."
Bella grew silent, avoiding my eyes. "How much did Alice tell you, about, what I did. When you were gone."
"No, nothing at all."
"Well, it's nothing. It won't hurt you if you don't know."
"Bella, please, tell me. What did you do?"
"Edward, it's nothing, just forget it," She snapped. "You wouldn't like it anyway. You'd get mad at me."
"Bella, I can't be mad at you. Just, tell me. Please." I was begging now.
Bella sighed. "Sometimes, my subconscious I guess, would remind me of how things used to be. I heard voices."
"Voices?" My voice was strangled. It made me sound more human.
"Well, actually one voice. I could hear you, like when you were angry. But only if I was in danger. It helped me remember you, without ripping me into pieces. But only if I was doing something stupid or reckless, like you told me not to." Bella finally looked into my eyes. "Edward, I'm sorry, don't-"
"You were… risking your life… to hear-"
"Shhh. Edward, please. Don't hurt yourself because of what I did." Bella looked back down, avoiding my eyes again. "It's not your fault, you only did what you thought was best for both of us."
Sorry for the cliff, I'm switching the rest of this chapter to Bella, and I don't have time to type it tonight. I'll try to get the other half up tomorrow.