Alrighty! Chapter three! Let's go for it!

DISCLAMAR ( - Purposely misspelled): CODY DOESN'T OWN JACK! AS IN, HE OWNS NOTHIN'! JUST HOW IT IS!

Chapter three: Talking swords, school fights… and the crazy Snake Lady?

"Yo, name's Uzumaki Naruto! I like my swords, Rebellion, and Agni and Rudra! I also like my guns! And I guess I like my bro, Dante…I dislike loud jackasses and people who think the world revolves around them. It's nice to meet you all!" said Naruto. 'My ass it's nice to meet them. That one with the duck butt hair looks like a real prick.'

"Hello Naruto! My name's Iruka and I will be your teacher. Since you're new here, sit anywhere you like! Try to be nice to the new student, alright class?"

"Yes sir!" was the resounding reply of the class. Naruto looked around the room, and chose to sit next to a sleepy-looking pineapple head. Naruto figured sitting next to the sleepy guy would be less annoying than sitting next to Doggy Boy, Duck butt head, Sun-glasses, or any of the girls in class.

"Hey pal! My name's Choji! Nice to meet you!" whispered the fatty sitting near the pineapple.

"Same here man!" 'At least they're friendly. I was a bit worried they wouldn't like me.'

"The sleepy guy is Shikamaru. He's a friend of mine. Hey, you wanna hang out at lunch?"

"Uh, sure dude, whatever."

"AHEM! Naruto, Choji, I hope you were discussing something more important than what I'm teaching, otherwise…"

"Hey, cool down, Teach! I'm new, and like you said, just tryin' to catch up!"

"Right…Anyway, the correct way to hold a kunai…" Iruka went on talking and talking, while most of the kids in class were just interested in the strange new kid. The kid wore some strange blue and red jacket, with his swords and his guns hanging from the holsters on the side and the back of the jacket. He looked, all in all, pretty menacing. But that's unimportant because the lunch bell, after what felt like hours, finally rang!

"We'll be reviewing the proper kunai throwing and handling technique after lunch, so be ready!" Most of the kids were already gone. Naruto, Choji and a now, finally awake, Shikamaru arrived at the lunch area.

"So you're Shikamaru, huh?"

"Yeah. You're Naruto, the new kid, right?"

"Yup! So, how are things in the academy, anyway?"

"Boring." replied Choji.

"Troublesome." replied Shikamaru.

"Boring and troublesome!? This is gonna suck!"

"It basically is. A word of advice, don't go near Sasuke."

"Sasuke? Who's he?"

"I'll explain, Shikamaru. Ahem…Uchiha Sasuke is a pompous asshole who loves to act like he's the greatest thing since sliced bread. Any female in this village under sixteen years old claim they love him, and want to have his babies. Anyway, just stay away from him, he's bad news." Unfortunately, God had it out for these three, and Sasuke decided to challenge the new kid to a fight.

"Hey, Blondie, fight me." It was at this time that Naruto was faced with a difficult life choice.

'Should I really kick his ass and have more than half the population of this village against me?' This was also when Agni and Rudra decided that they should put in their two cents.

"Master Naruto, please do not fight this young man! You'd destroy him!" Shikamaru, Choji, and even Sasuke all looked at Naruto in shock.

"What? You've never seen talking swords before?" Naruto replied, almost as if talking swords were a common occurrence.

"Don't listen to Rudra, Master Naruto, this punk deserves it!"

"No, Master Naruto, don't be so rash! You don't need to hurt this young man!"

"Sorry Rudra, but I agree with Agni. Nobody and I mean nobody, WILL EVER CALL ME BLONDIE AGAIN WITHOUT SOME SERIOUS INJURY FOLLOWING IT! IT'S ON NOW PUNK!" yelled Naruto, dropping his jacket and his weapons. Naruto then entered his fighting stance.

"You're gonna be sorry! Sasuke's gonna kick your butt!" And the fan girls were already here.

"Dammit, Naruto! Why do you have to be so troublesome!?" yelled Shikamaru.

"Come on, Shikamaru. Let's let them have their fight. Hopefully, Naruto will be as strong as you think he is." And so, Shikamaru, Choji, and just about every kid in the school prepared to watch the new kid take on the prodigy. Lots of space was cleared for the ensuing fight.

"Alright, Duck butt head, I'm gonna kick your ass!" yelled Naruto, charging Sasuke with his fist cocked back to punch the prick in the face.

"Hn, you'll have to do better than that, idiot!" Sasuke spun around attempting to kick Naruto and end the fight as early. What Sasuke didn't expect was that Naruto was actually more competent than him. Naruto caught Sasuke's leg, pushing it towards the duck butt head to throw him off balance. With this, Naruto started his finishing combo.

"Ha!" A hard straight to the face. "Hu!" An even harder body blow. "Hiya, hiya, hiya!" Kicks to the legs, body, and face. "Haaaaaaaa!!!!!!" Blow after blow connected with Sasuke's body and face as he was pummeled with punches. Naruto's hands were a blur as he continued to punch Sasuke's still, somehow, standing body. "HA!!!!!" One final, overhead, punch final downed the emo avenger. "Sweet dreams, Duck butt head." With this, Naruto walked back over to his lunch and his new, and now very excited and relieved, friends.

"Wow, Naruto! That was amazing!" exclaimed Choji.

"Yeah, Naruto. Why didn't you tell us you were this strong?

"Well, neither of you asked. That, and what do you expect? I am a demon slayer, after all."

"Really? That's so cool, Naruto!" The rest of the day went on with little incident. The fan girls were too scared of Naruto to try to avenge the avenger, and Iruka was too busy with helping Sasuke, so they were let out early. Naruto hung out with his new friends for the rest of the day.

……………………………………………………..Dante's Day…………………

"Ah man! I just realized I have nothing to do now that Naruto's gone! Man this sucks! Oh well…nothing I can do about it." And thus began Dante's "Great Konoha Exploration" as he called it himself. He explored the different training grounds, narrowly escaping a conversation with a freak in green spandex. He climbed to the top of the Hokage heads, and enjoyed the view of Konoha in all of its glory. "Oh man, I'm starving!" It just so happened that when he said that, Dante saw a ramen stand. "Ramen, huh? Sounds good!" Dante walked into the bar like structure and ordered some pork ramen. "This…this ramen…is…oh god…"

"Um, sir, are you alright?"

"This is the most delicious thing I've eaten in…one, two, three…a very long time! I've gotta tell Naruto about this!" And with that, Dante paid for his meal, leaving a large tip for the ramen chef. Just as he walked out, however, he bumped into someone.

"Hey, watch where you're going, you dumbass!"

"Hey, calm down lady……Whoa, are you allowed to wear that in public?!" Dante yelled at the trench coat wearing snake lady.

"Huh? What are you talking about?"

"I mean, not that I'm complaining or anything, but aren't there children present!?" Dante's ramblings continued until Anko had realized what he was talking about.

"Oh, I get it, you're a pervert! Take this!" she yelled, throwing a kunai at the chest of the man who was obviously a ninja, judging by his clothes and physic. Unfortunately for the both of them, Dante took the kunai directly to the chest, impaling him almost down to the handle of the kunai. Anko looked on in horror as the man in red fell to the ground.

"Ow lady, what the hell?!" yelled Dante as he stood up and ripped the kunai out of his chest. Anko screamed and ran off, yelling about zombies coming to eat her. "Man, what's her deal? Sheesh, I really do have bad luck with women, don't I?" he asked no one.

Alright! There's chapter three! Review please!