Memory Loss
Chapter 3: Appearances
Niles didn't have many elements to guess what the blonde of his dreams – or nightmares – would do next, and he was really eager to find out.
The only memory he had of her – the one in the tropical island, in which she leaves without saying goodbye as soon as she realizes they are getting emotionally closer – made him fear he would not see her any soon.
Maybe he had been too flirting for a first encounter, and her reaction would be to disappear from the mansion again.
He could understand it, in fact. His strong feelings for her kind of creeped himself out, too: if he had no memory of CC Babcock, how was it his life felt a little empty when she was not around? And how could he convey what he felt for her and make any sense, if he didn't have a clue of where they stood?
That is why the butler had been thinking of ways to bring the blonde to the mansion since he started his day: while the family had breakfast he had already listed to himself the more than legitimate reasons to ask for her presence, his mental calculations soon taking him to the conclusion he didn't have to be discreet over wanting to have CC Babcock close to him, once he was recovering from a concussion and needed all the help he could have to get his complete memories back.
Besides, the family should support his need of-
'Hello, hello!'
The moment he saw her there, greeting while standing at the door of the dining room, Niles someway knew that scene had happened lots of times.
And, even if he couldn't really remember it, his chest was warmed by an alarmingly familiar surge of happiness.
The blonde was carrying some manila folders, and she threw around the coldest of stares – acknowledging everything in the room but the butler – before walking to the table and sitting down.
'Good morning, Miss Babcock', Fran said, with a knowing look, 'You surprised us'.
'How is that?', came the annoyed answer, while adjusting the napkin on her lap.
'You usually ring the bell, so Niles has to walk through the house to let you in', the Nanny supplied, more than happy to oblige. She was too curious about CC's reaction to Niles lost memories of her, and was decided to prod as much as she could.
To the brunette's chagrin, she received an icy glare as response to her comment.
Maxwell decided to defuse the situation with a joyous tone, 'It's good to see you're feeling innovative today, partner. I hope it reflects on business'.
'Sure, Maxwell', CC said with an obviously fake smile, then looked at the Nanny, 'About your question: no need to force the butler to drag his rotting carcass around when he needs all of his mental energy to pretend he remembers how to work', she spoke, dropped the fake smile and put a lock of hair behind her ear, 'As if he knew it at some point'.
She noticed everybody at the table still had their noses crunched at the reference of a rotten carcass.
Satisfied to have crushed all intentions of lightness and fishing, she rested her hands on the table and stared ahead, waiting.
Realizing the woman expected to be served, everybody looked to Niles.
He was smiling at her, obviously enchanted, not a sign that it was changing any soon.
Maxwell cleared his throat, 'Niles?'
'Uhm?'
The boss just raised his eyebrows, tilting his head discreetly into CC's direction.
That woke him up, 'Oh, I should be serving!'
The butler went into motion, and everybody noticed the fond smile CC was trying to hide when he turned his back to pick something from the serving table.
After some pondering, Niles turned again, 'I'm sorry, but… What do you like to eat in the morning, Miss Babcock?'
'The souls of the innocent'.
There was an unspoken Oh! around the table.
(It was not every day that Miss Babcock zingered herself.)
'You got me unprepared', Niles answered, a glint in his eyes, 'May we stay in the realm of legality, for the moment?'
Maxwell started a reaction, but Fran raised a hand for him to not interfere, and he went back to his breakfast.
'I would have eaten in any other place, if I knew it would be so disappointing', CC remarked, joining her hands under her chin and facing the butler with a look that could only be described as teasing.
'Don't be so fast in judging me', Niles lifted a plate, 'I have the solution for your cravings right here!'
'Croissants?', she scoffed, looking at the plate.
'Yes', he grinned while he served her, 'Mischievous like the French, and shaped as a half moon – what I suppose may be acceptable to satisfy a creature of the darkness'.
'Croissants will do', CC conceded, when he turned from the table again, 'It's not like I really expected you to offer anything that could satisfy me'.
That was enough for Maxwell, and he started moving to leave the table.
However, his children were quicker and excused themselves before he had a chance to say anything.
Defeated and tied to impeccable education, he sat back and accepted Fran's consoling pat on his hand.
Niles was again at CC's side, 'Latte?'
'Please'.
He nodded, served her in silence and went back to his spot, behind Maxwell.
The dark-heads observed the peaceful interaction with surprise.
The blondes stayed in silence for a while – CC eating, Niles waiting.
However, both were stealing glances at the other quite often, what unnerved Maxwell and Fran.
The tension in the room was palpable.
The appearances didn't last long, as expected.
'All right, servant', CC said suddenly, cleaning her lips with the napkin, 'What's going on?'
'Pardon?'
'I'm used to you saying idiotic things, instead of just staring as an idiot'.
'I thought it would not be appropriate if I were to take any argument further, us being so recently acquainted', Niles answered sincerely, 'I'm following your lead demurely, and conveying my amusement with discretion'.
She threw him an icy glare, 'The word for it is blandness'.
'I offer what I can, you decide what you want. While I can't remember things about you, that's how it's going to be', he shrugged, 'To get anything, you just have to tell me what is your desire, and I'll do what is within my reach to do it'.
Her cheeks turned red, 'What the hell are you talking about?'
'Croissants', Niles answered calmly, then made an exaggerated expression of surprise, 'Weren't we talking about the fact I had to use my wit and improvisation skills to calm down some of your wild urges?'
'Are you sure you have no memory of me?', she squinted, 'Because you're acting exactly the same obnoxious servant as ever'.
'Maybe your presence is enough for me to act like this'.
'Yeah', she bitterly said, 'Now I am to blame for your empty life'.
'My life surely must have been a bit empty before you came along'.
'But now you have a hobby'.
The moment CC sneered the last sentence she regretted it.
Niles frowned, blinked some times and asked, confused, 'You are quoting me, aren't you?'
CC rolled her eyes.
Fran prodded, 'Are you?'
'What do you think?', CC huffed, 'Who would have the gall to say something like that?'
'Like what?', Fran asked, 'That you fulfil his life, and then take it back with a zinger?'
Niles joined his hands on his back and spoke loudly, trying to dismiss Fran's too revealing observation, 'That was very daring of me'.
'Yes', CC agreed, 'Given the circumstances when you said that, I could have strangled you'.
He was curious, 'And what did you do, instead?'
She locked stares with him, in silence.
Fran prodded again, 'Yeah, what did you do?'
CC blinked and, to have something to do, sipped her latte, dismissing the subject, 'That's classified information'.
The butler spoke before anyone could, 'Well, there's a level of intimacy necessary for a person to tell another that she is something he enjoys thinking about and doing in his free time', Niles juggled his shoulders happily, 'That's enough for me to know, right now'.
The blonde glared, 'This is you trying to be discreet?'
'Now I was going for charming'.
Fran opened her mouth in a comic huge O.
Maxwell raised his eyebrows impossibly high.
'Usually you spend your time trying to be annoying, and manage it very well', CC remarked, her eyes attentive on Niles while the cup of latte hid part of her face, 'What if you're too old for new tricks?'
'I take it you hope we're back to our routines as soon as possible', he stated, 'Does my lack of memory frustrate you?'
The silence was filled with tension, again.
'I couldn't care less about what goes on in that sick mind of yours'.
'Now I must disagree', he dared, even knowing he was pushing his luck, 'I am under the impression that it's just a matter of time for me to find the right tune to enchant you'.
She scoffed, 'Niles, the Siren. That's new'.
'As I said, you just have to tell me what you want. You know I'm creative', he smirked, 'I may not remember it, but you certainly do'.
Their eyes met.
It was a duel, as it had been so many times, mixing hatred and pleasure.
Maxwell and Fran were on the edge of their seats.
Suddenly, CC got up, throwing the napkin on the table, 'I'll be in the office, Maxwell'.
She walked decisively to the door, then stopped and turned, putting her hands on her hips, inclining forward slightly and saying in a low, hateful voice, 'I loathe you'.
Niles' façade and posture were lost in a second: his eyes went wide and his mouth opened as if he knew there was one right answer to that phrase.
However, he couldn't remember what it was.
'It seems poor Niles forgot his lines', CC grinned evilly, 'Really disappointing'.
And she walked away, leaving him frustrated with something he didn't even know what was.
xxx
Niles entered the balcony and looked at the bright sky and its full moon.
He couldn't forget what had happened.
He had met the love of his life.
But now she was gone, and he probably would never see her again, because society was cruel and unfair, sometimes.
The words flowed from his mouth into the darkness of the night, 'Oh, Babcock, Babcock! Wherefore art thou, Babcock? Deny thy father and refuse thy name; or, if thou wilt not, be but sworn my love, and I'll no longer be a Sheffield'.
'You're not a Sheffield. Stop the nonsense'.
To his surprise and delight, there she was, the woman of his dreams, glaring at him from the edge of the balcony.
He got closer and extended a hand to help her to climb the rest of the way in, 'What's in a name? That which we call a rose, by any other name, would smell as sweet!'
'Yeah, yeah', she said, refusing the hand and doing things by herself, 'However, I say again: you are not a Sheffield, just a servant in their house'. She adjusted her dress when she rested her feet on the balcony floor, 'In fact, if you were a real Sheffield, maybe I wouldn't have to wander in the shadows of the night and climb stony walls to see your stupid face'.
He rested a hand over his heart, while the other reached out to tenderly take one of hers and pull her out of the more open area, 'The orchards walls are high and hard to climb, and the place death, considering who thou art, if any of my kinsmen find thee here'.
His worry seemed to mollify her, and she smiled, 'With love's light wings did I o'erperch these walls…'
He smiled back, '…for stony limits cannot hold love out'.
She smirked, 'And, what love can do, that dares love attempt'.
'Say no more!', he raised her hand to his lips to kiss it, 'My Babcock would, were she not Babcock called, retain the dear perfection that she owes without that title'.
He got close enough to rest his hands on her waist, 'Babcock, doff thy name, and for the name, which is no part of thee, take all myself'.
Her eyes locked with his, and she opened her lips to answer.
But a voice coming from inside the castle startled them.
'Niles!'
'Oh, darn', he huffed, letting go of her, 'My boss is calling me'.
She crossed her arms on her chest, annoyed.
Seeing her reaction, he yelled back, 'Just a moment, Sir!'
She was pouting, 'You would leave me here at the first yell of your master?'
'I'm sorry. Force of habit'.
'Maybe it's better'.
'Wait a minute. Didn't you come here to exchange vows with me? Didn't you just spoke of love?'
'I would speak of anything that was required to have your lips on mine again'.
'Again?', he asked, confused, 'Did we…'
'Niles!', the voice sounded, louder than before.
He gave two steps to yell as if he was getting closer, 'Going, Sir!'
He turned again, this time to accuse her, 'It seems you are hiding something from me'.
'Don't imply I'm the crazy one here'.
'I should have known better than to trust someone who just does things under the influence of the moon'.
'Are you calling me a lunatic? Watch out – I'm well versed in Latin'.
'You should be better versed in Shakespeare, because what I meant is…', he made a big gesture to the skies and recited, '…you swear by the moon, the inconstant moon, that monthly changes her circled orb, lest that thy love prove likewise variable'.
'Niles!'
'Dear God!', he realized their time was over and picked her up to help her to the edge of the balcony and make sure she was going away, 'Good night, good night! As sweet repose and rest come to thy heart, as that within my breast!'
'Oh', she enlaced her hands behind his neck, keeping him close, and lowered her voice, 'Wilt thou leave me so unsatisfied?'
He paused, hypnotized, 'What satisfaction canst thou have to-night?'
She approached her face slowly, her eyes set on his.
She opened her lips and whispered, 'We will never mention it again'.
'Niles!'
The butler woke up from the unexpected afternoon nap in a jolt.
He blinked a few times, clearing his mind and finding out he had dozed off while reading in the kitchen small table.
(Well, maybe not just dozed off, once he had had one more of those dreams.)
He wondered if his boss had been really calling him or if it was just part of his dream.
Niles got up and stretched, his eyes wandering through the kitchen.
They sat at the side door.
He frowned, remembering a certain night.
A night when something happened in the living room.
He didn't remember what it was – just that it had to do with Babcock, who had left the mansion soon after whatever happened; and that Niles had left the living room as quickly as he could, because he had to find her before it was too late.
Too late for what?
He had no idea.
That night he had crossed the mansion and exited by the side door, arriving quickly at the front of the house.
She was there, standing in the cold night, her bare shoulders in contrast with the black dress that hugs her curves.
Few times in his life Niles had felt something like the emotion that got him in that moment.
Yes, it was lust for those curves and that skin.
However, it was affection, fondness and every other name you could give to such a need to take her in his arms and make her feel cherished as anyone else had done before.
He jogged to reach her.
She heard the steps and turned, warily.
There was unmistakable surprise in her eyes when she saw it was him.
They stood in front of the other in silence.
He couldn't prevent his eyes from taking her from head to toe. He was under the impression that he had just understood how much he needed her, and it was being difficult to find any words to express it.
She put her arms around herself, as if protecting her body from his eyes, and Niles realized he was not being a gentleman. She could not know what he was feeling if he didn't make some nice gesture to show it, and until that moment all he did was stare.
So, he cleared his throat and managed what he intended as an offer, 'It's too late to stand alone in the streets, even if you're avoiding the corners'.
For a moment she was serious, and he thought she would hit him.
But then CC Babcock smiled, 'What do you suggest?'
Niles' heart was beating like crazy.
Before he found his voice, she went serious again, 'It's not like I can go back to the mansion'.
He gave a step towards her, hoping he could soothe her feelings, 'Why not? Isn't it permitted to the evil creatures to enter family homes if invited?'
She didn't acknowledge the teasing, 'What if they see us? Again?'
'We don't have to explain anything to them'.
He gave another step.
Now he was close enough to reach out for her hand.
He just had to gather the courage to do so.
She seemed unsure, looking at the front of the mansion.
Maybe some more daring words were necessary, once all his hands could do was join themselves in front of him, as if he was a shy kid.
Niles spoke delicately, 'This is not about them. It's about us'.
CC's eyes went wide the moment she was hit by the meaning of what he had said.
Then she looked away and waved a hand dismissively, 'Oh, please. As if you had anything of your own'.
His body tensed, but he still made an effort to pretend her jab hadn't hit a nerve, 'I'm sure people have retired, by now. It's safe for you to use one of the guest rooms'.
'Well, I'm not so sure', she crossed her arms around her, again, 'I mean, we will never mention it again. But what about them?'
His arms fell to his sides.
A pain he didn't know until then crushed his heart.
'Thinking better', he spoke in a strangled voice, 'There is no moon. I'm sure you'll have an advantage on the hunters, tonight'.
He turned and walked to the mansion without looking back.
'Niles!'
The butler looked around, getting out of those disturbing memories.
It had been the intercom calling for him, all the time.
Real life was not being easy on Niles, lately.