I'm so, so sorry I haven't updated. I've had exams and then I was busy and then there's been stuff going on. Anyway here is the new chapter, there's a change in the point of view of characters somewhere in the middle but you'll see where it is. Enjoy :) x
Patrick's POV
It's been 6 days and 19 hours since I was sedated and banned from the hospital for a week long period of time. The first day and 19 hours I spent asleep, catching up slowly on my sleep loss and recovering from the sleep deprived anxious state that I was in. That leaves 5 days during which I went almost crazy with worry about Jo. That's also less than 24 hours since Jo finally, and to be honest quite unexpectedly, woke up from her coma. That's about 18 hours since I stopped crying out of pure relief and joy from the fact that she would be alright. The fact that she beat the odds of her 30% chance of making it out alive from the car crash which was solely my fault.
It's now 5 hours until I will be able to see her. 5 hours until I can apologise for all the harm and danger I have put her through. And it's also 5 hours until I tell her how I really feel.
I've had more than enough time to figure out how it is that I feel about Jo Harvelle. I'm still not fully sure how I feel exactly and not sure about how she's gonna take it. But, I know that once the words are out of my mouth and out in the world, they will be true. And as terrified as I am of what she'll say, I'll feel better once I know how she feels towards me, too.
So, the only question left is whether I am gay or whether I'm not. Up to a few months ago I would've said sure, of course I am. Now? Not so sure. Jo Harvelle, the girl who took my heart. God, I sound cheesy. But how can I not be when this girl just comes in and becomes so much more to me than anyone I've met and anyone at the school. And even though I've completely messed it up, I'm going to try everything I can to make up for my mistakes.
"Hey Pat, do you want me to drive you to the hospital later?"
I looked at Sam. She always looked so worried now. Worried about me, worried about Jo. She says I need to eat more and sleep more. She really does try to help as much as she can.
"Yeah, please." My hoarse voice didn't sound like me much anymore. I didn't speak much really. Only since I found out the news about Jo's awaking I became slightly more energetic I guess. It was the first time in a few days since I ate a whole meal rather than bits of it.
"Be ready at quarter to six okay?" My ban finished at six o'clock in the afternoon. I've been ready since this morning, waiting for when I finally see her.
Seconds passed.
Minutes passed.
Hours passed.
I got into Sam's car and fastened the seat belt. It felt strange being in a car again. It felt absolutely wrong. Memories of the crash just replayed in my head as if it had only just happened a few seconds ago. She looked at me as if to check if I'm alright and I nodded in response.
Then we were off. The car journey was longer than I expected, only because Sam drove quite slowly as it not to startle me at the thought of being in a car again. I wasn't afraid of it. I wasn't afraid of the speed or anything else. At this point I just wanted to see Jo and nothing else mattered.
Finally, after what seemed like hours, Sam parked outside the hospital. Just as I was about to leave the car, Sam locked all the doors. I sank back in my seat not wanting to know what she's going to say.
"Patrick, I just need you to know that you can't blame yourself for what happened, okay? No matter how Jo looks and how terrible you feel, I just can't see you doing this to yourself, alright? And, I love you, Pat. I hate seeing you like this."
"I'm sorry, Sam. I don't know how to feel about the whole situation and I want her to be okay. I just need her to be okay." A single tear slid down my cheek and Sam pulled me into a warm embrace. She then unlocked the car doors and allowed me to get out.
"I need to go get something from Mary Elizabeth's, will you be alright getting back or do you want me to come pick you up?" She asked.
"I'll be alright, thanks Sam."
With that I turned towards the hospital and began walking to the entrance. Making my way towards the reception desk I received a few sceptic looks from a few nurses. I then signed my name in the visitors register.
"I hope you're not planning to mess my reception area again, young man." A middle aged nurse spoke to me. I hadn't realised that she was the one who didn't allow me to see Jo those couple days ago.
"No, no. I'm sorry, I just- I'm sorry." I rumbled on. The nurse smiled a little and chuckled.
"It's alright; I got a day off for it. That girl, she must be really special, huh?" She asked.
"Yeah, yeah she is." I smiled a little.
"Go on, don't wanna keep you waiting."
With that I left. I made my way through the various corridors and hallways and the millions of stairways. The hospital was a freaking maze. Eventually I arrived at Hall G and followed the increasing numbers up to room 133. The door to her room was open and I could hear her tired voice talking to someone. Unfortunately I couldn't recognise who she was talking to and I didn't wanna barge in. I stayed outside the room for a bit.
"I loved you, so much, Will. I would've done anything for you. For Christ's sake, our parents thought we'd get married. You just break up with me, out of nowhere, and now you're here? How am I supposed to react to all of this?"
Jo's voice rang through my head. So she was talking to Will. Will her ex-boyfriend. How could I compete with Will? She was in love with him. Even though he completely screwed her over, she still had feelings for him, obviously. What was he doing at the hospital, though? I leaned towards the door and took a quick look at Jo. She was too invested in the conversation to notice me.
She had a couple stiches on her forehead where I could see a quite big cut. Her arms were attached to some needles and tubes filled with different colours liquids. I couldn't face her like this. I couldn't be there if Will was. I needed to stay away, before I caused any more harm. That's the second tear that slid down my cheek during this day. I turned quickly on my heel and started walking away from the girl I loved.
Jo's POV
Since I woke up there had been a trail of people coming and leaving, always asking if I'm okay and how I'm feeling. The hospital nurses were nice but, the food sucked. My current visitor was Will who had been sitting by my bedside for a while given that he was asleep when I woke up from my daily nap.
"I loved you, so much, Will. I would've done anything for you. For Christ's sake, our parents thought we'd get married. You just break up with me, out of nowhere, and now you're here? How am I supposed to react to all of this?"
"Look, Jo, I'm here because there's something I need to tell you. It's about your attack."
Seeing Will's face broke my heart. He was so angelically beautiful. I always thought we'd stay together for ever, as cliché as it sounds.
"What about my attack?" I questioned.
"It wasn't entirely a random accident like everyone thought it was." He continued.
"At the beginning of that year, I started getting involved with a bad crowd. It was a kind of gang, you could say. Anyway, at first they were alright. But then, they asked me to steal some drugs from some dealer. Of course, I refused. But, they just saw that as an opportunity, a weakness. So they beat me up. It wasn't terrible or anything, just a couple bruises. And then they found a picture of you in my wallet."
"They threatened me. Said that if I don't do it then you'll pay the price. I didn't believe them so I told them I'm out. Unfortunately the head of the gang wasn't my number one fan. He kept his word. And that's why you were attacked that night. I broke up with you because I thought that I'd protect you that way. I'm sorry."
"Will, I-" I began. I couldn't.
"I'm so sorry. I didn't ever want you to get hurt." He was crying. In the many years that I've known Will, he never cried. Ever. I took his hand and tugged it a little, motioning for him to come closer. I pulled him into a hug in which we stayed for about 10 minutes before the nurse came in.
"Oh, excuse me, I didn't mean to-I just came to give you the painkillers again." She muttered.
"It's alright. Will, we'll talk in a sec." He wiped his eyes and stood up.
"Sure, do you want any coffee or anything?" He asked.
"Oh no, she's not allowed any coffee but tea is just fine." The nurse answered for me.
I chuckled slightly. "Well, you heard the doctor." I smiled at Will, showing him that I was okay with what he'd just told me.
Patiently I waited as the nurse dosed me up on my medication. As I waited, I took my iPod and listened to some music. By the time Will came back I was half asleep but I loved tea too much to pass it up. He handed me the cup as I sat up.
"So how come you came here to Pittsburgh?" I asked.
"You left and nobody really told me. I just needed to make sure you're okay and I felt like I had to tell you the truth. At least I owe you that, right?"
"Well, are you staying?"
"I don't think so. I wasn't really planning on it, to be quite honest. And I got accepted into a really good school back in Cali, too." He said, his eyes dropping to the ground.
"I've missed you, Will. You have no idea how much I've missed you. And I've had more than enough time to forgive you, you know. But we can't live in the past and I'm moving forward, you should too."
"You forgive me? Despite what happened? Are you sure?"
"Yeah I'm sure." I replied.
And then Will leaned in and kissed me. And I remembered all of the reasons I fell in love with him in the first place. The pace on the heartbeat monitor increased and the beeping became more noticeable. He stopped.
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that."
"Just shut up and kiss me one last time, for old times' sake." I smiled and pulled him into me. The monitor began to get louder but the noise was completely ignored.
"I'll always love you Will, you know that right?"
"Of course, I love you too, Jo."
He leaned back in his chair and I slumped into the large pillows. I felt content. In spite of everything that has happened. The only thing missing was just Patrick.
"Do you know if anyone else has been here?" I asked Will.
"I don't think so. Why?"
"Patrick. I thought he would've come around by now."
"Wasn't he the one driving the car?"
"Yeah, but I can't blame him for that."
Will laughed quietly.
"What?" I asked.
"You like him." He stated as if it was the absolute truth.
"Oh, hush." And we laughed. Will spent the rest of the afternoon with me. He stayed until visiting hours were over and sang to me just before I went to sleep. In a way, I wished that things turned out differently and I was with Will. But in a way, I didn't.
Am I the only one who's slightly in love with Will despite what happened? Remember to comment/favourite/follow. I will soon be posting pictures of Jo and Will on my profile. Love you all :*x