hello! Today's prompt iiiis: 'Luna is wearing a pair of extremely large earrings'.

I apologize for submitting this a day late. Technically, it is no longer the week when this fanfiction was due.

oh, yes, and also for the fact that I decided not to give it a plot afterall. it's just a bit of dialogue, hopefully funny.

It's Lunitachi, which is the pairing of Itachi Uchiha and Luna Lovegood. if you don't like it, you obviously have never heard of it before.

there's Sasodei, if you look really, really closely.

anyways. disclaimer I own nothing, and on with the show.

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Itachi stared into the space ahead of him, not really seeing anything. Because it was Monday. And nobody likes Mondays.

Especially Uchihas, who don't really seem to like anything.

Anyways, it was Monday, and Itachi was staring into space.

Hidan was on the other side of the room, chucking balled up pieces of paper at him.

"Oi! Itaaaachi!"

No reaction.

"Itachi, your hair is on fire!"

No reaction.

"Itachi, Deidara's doing the Macarena!"

No reaction.

"I am not!"

"Shut up, Deidara, no one loves you."

"My mom loves me!"

Sasori made a little cough, but otherwise stayed clear of the conversation.

"Your mom-" Kakuzu began, but then stopped, befuddled by the fact that Deidara had beaten him to the insult.
Itachi just stared into space.

"Itachi!" Hidan yelled again. "There's a B-"

"Getting Itachi's attention," Deidara said. "You're doing it wrong."

"You do it, then, if you're so clever." Hidan snarled.

Deidara rolled up the sleeves of his cloak. "Hey! Itachi!" he shouted. "Hidan's gonna rape Luna!"

Within the next half a second, there was something sharp embedded in Hidan's forehead. "What the- F—K, DEIDARA, THE HELL WAS THAT FOR?" he yelled (loudly xD)

"Well, I wasn't gonna tell him it was me, was I?"

"You could have just said nothing!"

"That would have been about a thirtieth as funny."

Hidan ripped the pointy object from his forehead and chucked the bloody knife at Deidara. "Thirtieth this!"

Deidara ducked away from the knife, and proceeded to badger Hidan about his poor comeback. Meanwhile, Itachi had satisfied himself that no one would be raping Luna anytime soon (sans himself x3. But you can't rape the willing.) and gone back to staring into space.

That didn't last long, however, as a bright light, not unlike those which flash momentarily off large shiny objects, temporarily blinded him.

He blinked.

It took a short time to find the source of this light, because Luna was standing in the door. Now, wouldn't that have been beautiful if it were metaphorical? But as it is, it's quite literal, as Luna was wearing a pair of extremely large, rather reflective earrings. They looked really heavy.

"Luna, what are you wearing," Itachi asked her, with the reproving tone of someone who is having trouble being angry but finds it impossible not to be skeptical.

Luna looked down at her bottle blue cloak, and opened her mouth to say just that, but Itachi shook his head and indicated her earrings.

"Oh!" Luna nodded happily, her plate-sized earrings swinging along. "These! They're earrings."

"I know that."

"Daddy sent them, they ward off curmudgeonly Fizards. It's because of the gold, they can't stand it," she said, nodding.

"Luna, those are pure gold?"

"Yes, otherwise it wouldn't work, and the Fizard would eat my fingernails."

"Aren't they... heavy?" he asked, weighing them with his eyes.

"Of course not," Luna said simply. "I charmed them so they wouldn't be."

"Oh." Itachi took another moment to watch her overlarge ear-related ornaments, then said, "You probably shouldn't wear those."

"I can't do that," she said, quiet seriously. "The Fizards are everywhere."

Itachi may be the only one who can hold the sort of glance Luna gives after a statement like that.

"Yes," Itachi said, "I get that the Fizards will eat your toes or something. But-"

"Fingernails."

"That's not the point."

"The unpotable Fizards are the ones who eat toes. And they hibernate every Tuesday."

"Luna, you're wearing plates of pure gold in the caves of well known villains. Do you really think Kakuzu will hesitate to steal those?"

"Is he suffering from Fizards too?" Luna said, surprised. "I should lend him one." (Non, il prefere le souffre. xD)

"No, Luna, Kakuzu just likes gold."

"Right. I should shrink them."

And that she did.

Itachi blinked. "Why didn't you just shrunk them in the first place?" he asked, as she flipped the now button sized earrings.

"I don't know," Luna said. "But I think they looked rather dashing, don't you?"

Itachi evaded answering by bringing up the weather.

Meanwhile, on the other side of the room, an argument was still taking place.

"Blue!"

"Yellow!"

"Blue!"

"Yellow!"

"Swallow!"

"African or European?!"

"Wrong! It's a blue swallow!"

"That's stupid, there are no blue swallows!"

"Your mom is stupid!"

"Your mom is blue!"

"Your mom is... is..."

"You have no imagination!"

"FK YOU!"

"Money sign swear!" Kakuzu cut in. he was promptly ignored, and the bickering commenced. So, because he didn't like being ignored, he headed over to the only other conversation in the room.

"No, I think it's going to rain."

"Luna, there isn't a cloud in the sky."

"How do you know they won't come later?"

"I don't know that, it's just incredibly unlikely."

"Really? Because I think it's going to rain..."

"You also think fizards are going to eat your toes."

"They won't, either, because I'm wearing fizard repellent on my socks."

"I have no response to that."

"Hello..."

"Go away, Kakuzu."

Kakuzu sniffed in an affronted manner. "What did I do?"

"Last week you painted a mustache on my Tom Petty poster."

"What, you're still sore about that?"

"Hell yes! That thing was signed!"

"Well you should have had something less tempting signed."

"You have three seconds before I hurt you with a gurkengable."

"A what?"

"A German pickle fork."

"Oh... um... ok..." Kakuzu held up his hands in surrender. "I'm leaving..."

And contrary to your beliefs, he never even realized Luna was wearing earrings.

:D the lame end.

dadadadadadadadadadadadadaadadadadadadadadadadaadadada

german pickle fork as requested by Lumos Solaria.

Kudos to whoever can find my Sorcerer's stone reference... :3 Dianna doesn't count. I told her already.

aaaalright, folks, that was the fanfiction of the week. short and rather pointless as it was, I hope you enjoyed it.

drop me a line, tell me what you thought, and have a nice day.

pickle fork... hee hee.