Posted! hah!

wow, i've been getting off schedule. well, there's approximately one per week, I suppose, that'll have to be good. (you know, to the... like... two people that read this... xD)

anyways,

this IS the Akatsuki Olympics. remember how two chapters ago I said last chapter would be this one but last chapter wasn't? well, this one is. yeah. xD

disclaimer being that I own nothing except a few bits and pieces that are borrowed from my other work... the rest is either Kishimoto's or Hannah's, I steal stuff from her a lot.

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"And that," Pein announced, tired looking and splattered all over with what looked like either tomato sauce or beets, "Concludes the Annual-If-We-Remember Akatsuki Olympics."

Hidan raised his hand, which was coated in the same mystery substance Pein wore, and missing a finger besides.

"Yes, Hidan?"

"Can we do it again?"

"Next year, if we remember, yeah."

"No, I mean right now! I think I can beat Deidara at pickle-gluing this time-"

"You so could not!" Deidara interrupted, from the corner, where he had been picking gummy bears out of his tangled hair. "I beat you by five pickles, Hidan!"

"That was only four, the last one fell down!"

"Yeah, AFTER the ref. called game!"

"The ref.'s a fag, and you know it!"

(Deidara did know this, as the referee was Sasori, but he didn't say so.)

"Anyways," Hidan continued, "My patch of ceiling was more slippery than yours."

"Guys! Guys!" Pein yelled, flicking a red-ish clump at them. "Can you shut up? It's over-"

"At the very least do some freaky flashback thing," Hidan whined. "The readers have no clue what happened!"

"Neither does the authoress, she's making this up as she goes along," Pein informed him.

"Pish-posh, Who wants a rematch!" Kisame called from the ping pong table, where he held two paddles and one small, sticky ping-pong ball. "You pansies!" he added.

"Kisame, no one likes ping pong but you," Itachi said, somehow devoid of any red gunk or gummy bears. His hair was in pigtails, however. Luna was busy trying to take them out, although Kakuzu had tied them really tight.

"Hey, I like ping pong!" Hidan said loudly.

"Yeah, but you suck at ping pong," Itachi told him.

"At least I can beat Kisame,"

"Anyone can beat Kisame."

"Deidara didn't."

"That's because his hair was in his eyes from the tape-war-tag tournament. He couldn't see the stupid ball."

"He still lost."

"I beat you at pickle-gluing, though," Deidara said, and Hidan punched him in the nose. Deidara yanked his necklace and brought him skidding into the wall, and everyone pretty much ignored the following tussle.

"Where'd Zetsu go?" Kisame asked, looking for another ping-pong opponent.

Pein answered. "He left after Synchronized sitting, didn't you see?"

"No, I was playing ping-pong."

"Did you participate in anything else??"

"I did the watching-paint-dry-athon with Zetsu, which I thought was after Synchronized sitting-" (1)

"It was, wasn't it… but he definitely wasn't here when we were doing hippopoTAmoose wrangling…" (2)

"Yes he was, he tried to eat the hippopoTAmoose!"

"No, that wasn't him, that was-"

"Who the hell else could that have been?"

"I don't know, I saw Kakuzu kill and eat a rabbit the other day-"

"Eww, really?"

"Well, it was probably a rabbit."

"Kakuzu? Really?"

"I think."

"Maybe he should have done puppy-kicking."

"Remind me why we hold that event?"

"Because we're evil."

"Right."

"Puppy kicking?" Kakuzu walked up. "Who did puppy kicking this year?"

"It was going to be Hidan and Itachi, I believe."

"who won?"

"Dunno, we never found the puppies, we think Zetsu ate them."

"Unless it was you," Kisame said, poking Kakuzu.

"I don't eat puppies."

"Liar! It see it in your eyes!"

"You see nothing!"

"I SEE LIES!"

Pein snuck off to clean the beets/tomato sauce out of his hair. Deidara and Hidan were now badgering Sasori as to who really won the pickle-gluing contest, and he was standing by that Deidara won. Hidan then started accusing Deidara of sleeping with the referee, which they both denied hastily.

"Of course he slept with Sasori," Konan said, coming over to break up the fight. "But that's not the reason Deidara won the contest, Hidan, he won because you suck at gluing pickles to the ceiling."

"GLUE DOESN'T STICK TO PICKLES!" (3)

"That's not true!"

"You all FAIL!" Sasori dictated.

"I think this whole fanfiction is fail," said Kakuzu loudly.

Then the fanfiction ended.

"Oh no, you don't!" Hidan yelled, loudly. "You used that ending six chapters ago!"

"Wait, that was the drabble about-" Deidara broke off and groaned. Annoyingly.

Just then, a good twenty or so avocados rolled quickly through the room, making for the back door. Zetsu could be heard from the kitchen, yelling, "BE FREE, MY BRETHREN, BE FREE!"

"Well, we found Zetsu," Sighed Kisame to no one.

Deidara, however, having a particular affinity for avocados, dove after them. "CATCH THE AVOCADOS!" he shrieked. Un-suavely.

And then the fanfiction ended.

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(1) this, apparently, has a story behind it, resulting in an event that goes thus: sitting on a couch, crossing and uncrossing legs, leaning, etc, at the same time as someone else. this was part of Hannah's prompt, and she known more about it than I do. but it is pretty hilarious.

(2) I have a friend with a Filipino accent, and he can't say hippopotomus right. I, on the other hand, can't spell it. anyways, he says it 'hippo-po-TA-moose', and it's completely awesome.

(3) I have yet to prove this.

yup.

that concludes the second most random chapter in this fan fiction.

next week, with any luck, won't be posted here, it's Harry Potter again- Sirius has to get a magical flu shot. Remus goes with him. la.

review now, yes?