Hai. So no smut in this chapter, surprisingly. It's pretty funny though. At least, I think it's funny. But I laugh my ass off at stupid memes every day so, y'know, to each his own.
I don't own Fairy Tail blah blah.
Chapter 5 – "Jellal and Meredy (or, Erza Kills Laxus)"
Lucy POV
Fairy Hills had an ant problem.
Unfortunately, the problem was only exacerbated when Erza attempted to halt the infestation through brute force, resulting in extensive damage to the walls. That, in itself, wouldn't be too bad, considering Laki has had plenty of practice making woodmake repairs – except during this particular path of destruction she unveiled a series of ant nests as well. At this point, Mira joined in, and the two S-Class mages went on a rampage, obliterating every single insect they could find, regardless of location.
I can't blame them, though. I'm not overly partial to ants myself. Anyways, long story short, Fairy Hill is currently being fumigated and repaired, meaning most of the female guild members were currently without a home. Luckily, everyone was able to find a place to stay for the meantime. The Strauss siblings moved in to Elfman's place, Juvia, Levy, and Wendy moved in with Gajeel, Evergreen into her designated guest room at Laxus', and so on and so forth. But the most important part of this situation is how Erza was staying with me. Everything was going perfectly until that night, when I realized…
I couldn't hook up with Laxus in my own apartment anymore.
The realization upset me more than I care to admit. It was also while I was lying there, wide awake, that I realized I hadn't spent a night without Laxus for over two weeks. I harrumphed and tried to get comfortable. I finally resigned myself to a night of fitful, if any, sleep.
There was a barely-there tap on my window, and I sat up, looking at the window hopefully. My heart flutters at the sight of a hulking sillouette. A familiar grin is the only visible feature, the rest hidden by a hooded sweatshirt. I smirked at him. He looks like a burglar. What a loser.
I swing my legs over the side of the bed and start to pad over to the window.
"HALT, TRESSPASSER!"
Erza's voice from outside the apartment startles both of us, and she flashes into view, her sword slicing through the spot Laxus inhabited a split second ago. She lands on the small awning gracefully, her black wing armor glinting ominously in the moonlight. I scramble to the window and wrench it open.
"FEAR NOT, LUCY! I'LL GET HIM!" Erza roars as she shoots after the stumbling, off balance figure in the street below. I manage to get my head out the window just in time to see Laxus' sillouette shooting from rooftop to rooftop in the distance, a winged blur in pursuit, and a flash as a sword swipes through the night, each time only a hair's breadth away from its target. My eyes are wide as saucers and I can only watch in dismay at the figures maneuvering through the city scape.
"Oh no…" I groan, helplessly pacing back and forth.
Laxus POV
SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT
Lucy POV
I looked back out the window and sighed in hesitant relief at the sight of a winged figure flying over the city, stopping in different places as if searching. Did he get away?! Is he alive?! Do I still have a boyfriend?!
Is he even my boyfriend?!
Shut up, Lucy! Now is not the time!
Erza lands on the window sill and gracefully slides into my room, her expression irritated. I just stared at her, unsure what to do, and terrified of what was about to happen. Oh my god, what if she pulls Laxus' castrated penis from her pocket or something?!
"Bastard got away," she huffs. The relief has me falling back down onto my bed. I swallow my trepidation.
"Did… did you see who it was?" I venture, trying my hardest not to wince. Erza shook her head, eyebrows agitated.
"Unfortunately not. Has this happened before?" she asks, concerned, taking a seat next to me and placing a hand on my shoulder in comfort. I sniffle, the panic finally slowing and a feeling of hysteria making me tremble.
"No," I whimper. Erza pulls me into a comforting hug – or at least it would be comforting if I wasn't being crushed against a metal breast-plate. Or, I guess, breast. There really isn't much of a breastplate on this armor. How does this even work as armor?
"It's alright, Lucy. Don't worry," Erza soothes, and I shiver at the freezing cold metal smooshing my cheek. She tightens her arms and I flail a little. "I'll make sure you're safe," she says determinedly, holding a fist in front her dramatically.
"Mmmrmph!" I struggle, trying to wriggle out from her deathgrip. Erza pats me on the head, completely un-affected by my apparent asphyxiation, and luckily releases me. I gasp, trying to suck air back in my lungs and rubbing my cheek tenderly. She stands and requips back into her pajamas. Idly, I wonder why she couldn't have done that before crushing me in a hug. I cough lightly. "Thanks, Erza," I try to be as sincere as possible, considering she really does believe she's helping, and I can't really blame her for her response. My smile feels strained but luckily she must think it's tension from almost being… burgled. Or something. She nods.
"Don't worry, he won't be coming back any time soon. Get some sleep," she soothes and I kind of want to scream right now in frustration. She goes back into the living room and I sigh deeply, pulling the pillow over my face and groaning. Great, that went just great. Eventually, I managed to fall into a fitful sleep, only to be disturbed by nightmares involving my surrogate big sister chopping off my lover's penis in increasingly violent and outrageous situations.
The next morning, I dragged my tired ass out of bed and drowsily got ready for the day. Erza gave me a soft smile of understanding. Granted she doesn't actually understand why I'm so tired, but it's the thought that counts.
We walk to the guild together, and luckily the trek is companionable silence. Once there, I went straight for the bar to order a milkshake because I'm a creature of habit. I look around in a daze, slurping the remainder of the sweet beverage. I catch Laxus' eye and struggle not to laugh. His face is quite possibly the grumpiest I've ever seen him, a dark scowl and baggy eyes meeting my gaze. He narrows his eyes at me when I snort and have to cover my mouth to stop from laughing. He turns away stubbornly, continuing to reassure Freed that he was fine and to stop fretting over him. I nonchalantely make my way towards the back door, nodding towards Laxus in signal. I wait outside in the alley for a minute before he slips out as well. We stare at each other in silence for a while. His lips twitch and suddenly we're both laughing hysterically.
'I'm – I'm so sorry!" I struggle to get out between laughs. He braces himself against the wall and tries to regain his composure.
"That… that was so fucking ridiculous," he chuckles, running a hand through his messier than normal hair. I place a hand on his arm.
"Are you okay, babe?" I venture, concerned despite my giggles. He nods. "I honestly thought you were going to get castrated last night, and I'm so fucking sorry," I add, wincing. He winces as well, but grins.
"I may have been a little worried myself," he allows. "For the record, I could take her if I used my magic. I just couldn't use it last night because I was trying to stay unknown," he sniffs cockily. I smirk.
"I'm sure," I tease. He narrows his eyes at me and leans close.
"Do you doubt my power, Lucy?" he growls lowly. My eyes widen, the sudden sexual tension hitting me like a brick.
"I-I…uh…" I struggle, the wave of arousal making my thoughts hazy. He gently grips my chin and lifts to meet my eyes.
"Do I need to take you back to my home and prove to you how dangerous I can be, little minx?" he purrs. I swallow thickly. The heat pooling in my lower stomach has me shifting my weight back and forth, and I allow myself a quick little nod. His lips curl into a predatory grin and he picks me up, throwing me over his shoulder nonchalantely. I squeak in protest, and smack at his back. I watch his coat flutter behind him as he starts to power-walk towards his house.
"Laxus! It's broad daylight!" I hiss, kicking my legs only to tremble when his hand massages my rear. A small moan creeps out of my throat. He gives a deep chuckle. My hair starts to stand on end with static and I barely have the chance to claw at his back before our particles shot into the sky in a bolt of lightning.
We landed in the middle of the forest on the outskirts of Magnolia. Before We were even fully reformed, Laxus pinned me to the nearest tree, his lips devouring mine greedily. My fingers thread through his soft hair, crushing his face closer in response. Our eyes fluttered open at the sound of a twig breaking nearby.
"But the- Oh my Gods!"
Our necks whipped towards the voice at break-neck speed, only to stare wide-eyed at…
Jellal and Meredy.
Jellal was completely stunned, and looked even more uncomfortable then I've ever seen him (and that's saying something). Meredy's mouth was still half opened from interrupting her own sentence, red eyes wide, but lips curled in a disbelieving smirk. The independent mages were wearing their usual Crime Sorciere robes, and appeared to be near the end of whatever their current endeavor is, judging by the general disheveledness of their visages. After a moment or ten of tensely awkward silence, Laxus gathered himself enough to drop me back down to the ground. Unfortunately, he had not gathered himself enough to do so gently.
I shriek indignantly once I land flat on my ass, arms flailing for purchase. Laxus stares at me dumbly for a second before jerking me to my feet. Meredy snorts and covers her mouth with a hand to contain her giggles. Jellal just continued to stand stock still in shellshock. Which I suppose I can understand – the man is apparently more socially inept than even Laxus, at least when caught off guard. He blinks rapidly.
"H-hey, guys! Uh… what're you guys doing here?" I ask with a surprisingly straight face. Meredy ttakes her hand away and smirks.
"Oh y'know, just finished tracking a few stragglers from a dark guild. Someone also wanted to visit a certain red-head as well," she says teasingly to the side, causing Jellal's face to turn bright red, but otherwise not move much. In the back of my mind I note with glee that he wasn't denying it. She cocks a hip and raises an eyebrow at us cheekily. "So how long has this," she gestures between us, "been going on, you sneaky little buggers? Mira must not know, huh?" She asks conspiratorially. Laxus swallows loudly at the mention of Mira knowing. I scratch the back of my head and my smile turns very strained.
"No. No she does not," I say slowly. Meredy laughs.
"Oh this is just too juicy. Huh, Jellal?" she side-eyes her guildmaster, eyes twinkling in mischief. The bluenette blinks and opens his mouth only for nothing to come out. He closes his mouth again dumbly and shakes his head in exhaustion. He spins on his heel and starts trudging away, muttering under his breath and shaking his head. Meredy grins devilishly. "It's so fun to make him uncomfortable," she stage-whispers. Alarm shoots though me.
"Oh shit! Wait – make sure no one tells Erza about this!" I blurt out frantically, wringing my hands in front of me. Meredy pauses and her eyes widen, presumably imagining that possible outcome.
"Oh wow. That's a good point… Don't worry, I doubt he'll say anything," she offers optimistically.
"Already pretending it never happened," Jellal's exhausted baritone calls out, not even turning his head. Meredy shrugs and gives us a thumbs up. She starts to turn but pauses.
"Oh, and uh, as always, since we're, y'know, wanted fugitives and everything…" she trails off suggestively. I smile a little.
"Right. You were never here," I agreed. Meredy flashes a double thumbs up, smiling cheekily, and dashes off to catch up with her stoic friend. "And you never saw us, either!" I called out after her as an afterthought. Meredy waves behind her in agreement.
Once the two rogue mages had left the area. Laxus relaxes. He shakes his head in exhaustion and pinches the bridge of his nose. I look up at him curiously.
"Did we seriously just get caught by Crime fucking Sorciere in the middle of a forest?" he groans. I groan along with him and sit down on the forest floor. I plop myself down on my back and stare at the sky between the canopy of branches. Laxus eyes me. "You alright there, babe?" he asks drily. I just stare straight ahead dejectedly.
"I'm so done right now. I'm just going to lie down here on the ground," I mutter. Laxus watches me for a second, then smiles and joins me with a sigh.
"Agreed."
Luckily, Fairy Hills was back in working order within the week, and I had my apartment back to myself.
I get the feeling Fairy Hills gets destroyed just as much if not more than the guildhall itself. I also giggled imagining Erza in her Purgatory armor and Mira in her Satan Soul (or Satan Soul Citri - y'know, for superb overkill) blasting holes in the walls trying to kill every ant they could find.
Fuck ants. I hate those little fuckers. Whenever I kill one on my bathroom floor i leave the carcass there as sign to the others that they are not welcome here. But they don't get it. Stupid little dickwads.